


Just Cuz

by rsfahrudeen



Series: Song of Sabriel [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Asexual, Guardian Angel, Nephilim, Old Age, Trans, Wayward Daughters, dowry, gender fluid, oral contracts, over protective cousin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-16 07:28:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 73
Words: 254,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12338220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rsfahrudeen/pseuds/rsfahrudeen
Summary: A 'hopefully' short(er) fic about Shelly and Abigail as teenagers.  Where Shelly is over protective of her younger cousin, enters her rebellious phase and causes all sorts of trouble, while Abigail desperately tries to separate herself from her overbearing 'guardian angel' and figure out her own place in both the everyday world and the family business.





	1. Just a Girl

**Author's Note:**

> I might do one about the time in between this and the last one, but this story got stuck in my head and I had to get it out first.

               “Are you sure you should be here?” The girl looks around the courtyard of Souix Falls high school where a few students are studying. “I mean, this isn’t your school.” Or her state but to get too much into it would possibly raise questions and rumors she doesn’t want to deal with. 

               “Now Alice, you know the answer to that question very well and I have never understand when you insist on asking questions you already know the answers to.” The taller though younger teenager pats her on the head.

                “Let me rephrase that. You shouldn’t be here.” Alice frowns at her.

                “What did you just text me?” The blonde scans the area. 

                “I did not text you to.. to apparate over here in the middle of the school day. Now you have to leave and I have to get back to class before I’m challenged for my hall pass and have to explain why I’m in the courtyard instead of in the bathroom next to my class. And that’s not including the fact that even if I’m not challenged, if I take too long Mr. ‘Healthy Bowels’ will grill me on my fiber intake and ask me if I need to see the nurse in front of the whole damn class when I get back.” Alice hisses. “I was just a little concerned, that’s all. I didn’t…. Shelly…” 

                 “Shush.” Shelly covers her friends mouth. “Hold my purse.” She shoves the surprisingly heavy bag into her freind’s arm and walks over to the table on the far side of the court yard where the toe headed sunburned captain of the football team is leaning over a petite young woman with frizzy black hair, put up in a loose knot on the top of her head, and skin like burnt copper.

                 “So, what do you say?” He gives the girl his most charming smile.

                 “Alright. I can’t do anything tonight as I’m helping at the shelter, but here. I’ll give you my number.”  She replies, her low, husky voice, easily heard as she writes down her number on a piece of paper. “Call me after practice and I should know when I can make myself available by then.”

                 “It’s a date.” He winks, taking the paper from her only to find his wrist grabbed by a slender manicured hand with a surprisingly iron grip, and twisted behind his back as he’s thrown to the ground.

                 “She’s thirteen, you pervert! Release the phone number before I remove it along with your fingers.”

                 “Michele Cadence Singer, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!’ The girl stands up angrily, glaring down at them.

                  “Abby, sweetie, I know it’s flattering to have an older, popular, passably attractive young man like this pay attention to you, but only losers go after half their age because they’re not old enough to know how to recognize them as the pathetic wastes of space they are.” Shelly starts rather patronizingly.

                   “Shelly…” The girl sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration. “I’m not…”

                   “I know, I know. You are far more mature and strong willed than he knows, but still you area helpless young human girl and he is a strong virile young man probably used to getting what he wants. Now what kind of guardian angel would I be if I allowed you to arrange a date with this future sex offender? What would I tell your father?” 

                    “I am not a future sex offender!” The surprised boy finds his voice again.

                    “Current, then?” Shelly narrows her eyes at him.

                    “Michelle, we are arranging a tutoring session!”

                    “For what? Physical education?” 

                    “Calculus!”

                    “Bullshit, you’re a fucking idiot savant at math!” Shelly challenges. Abby just tightens her lips and crosses her arms giving the guardian angel a meaningful glare. “Oh, ha, no I don’t think so. I’ll tutor him in your place.” Shelly lets go of the football players arm and removes her foot from his back to let him get up.

                    “Shelly, you are a D student.” Abigail reminds her, eliciting a rather hurt and offended look from her cousin.

                    “Yeah, because I skip class and don’t do the work, not because I don’t understand the material. You. I’ll meet you after football practice and let your homies know if anyone even so much as goes near my baby cuz while she’s this side of legal, I will personally shove both my heels up their asses without hesitation or lubricant. Got me?”

                     “I am so sorry, Blake.” Abby apologizes, though she knows that it won’t be nearly enough. A simple apology is never enough where  Shelly is involved.

                     “You broke my fucking arm! I’m not going to practice. And since I’ll be out the rest of the damn season because of this, I don’t need some psycho bitch tutoring me.” Blake winces, holding his arm.

                     “Oh, I did not you big baby.” She smacks the arm she absolutely did break, healing it with the touch. “Now go to the nurse and tell her an angel descended to keep you from committing a mortal sin with a small child.” She shoos him away. Abby covers her face as Blake thinks better of challenging her further.

                     “This is so not fucking worth it.” He turns and heads inside.

                     “The hell she’s not.” Shelly puts her hands on her hips, “See, Abby, do you really want someone who won’t even fight for you? Not just a loser, but stupid too, seriously, you deserve so much better.”

                      “What is wrong with you!” Abby punches Shelly’s chest with all her strength.

                       “Ow!” Shelly complains rubbing her left boob. “C’mon, Abby, you know no good could come of that sort of thing. You’re becoming a young woman now, ovaries ripening, hormones raging, overriding your usually well developed common sense. This is what guardian angels are for, my little cocoa bean.” Shelly coos, pinching her cousin’s cheek.

                       “My NAME is ABIGAIL! And you are NOT my goddamn guardian angel!”

                       “Don’t you take grandpa’s name in vain.” Shelly scolds, not bothered by Abigail’s fury at all.

                       “You are my overbearing, boundary violating, overprotective, obnoxious cousin!” Abigail continues. “This is why I’m not going to school with you! You can’t do things like this! He could press charges, you know. And I would gladly testify against you in any court!”

                       “I love you too, my little Abby-girl.” Shelly hugs the furious young woman. “Alright, I have to go brush up on my calculus for tonight. Later.” She kisses each angry cheek and gives her one last squeeze before walking off back to her friend, whom Abigail also gives a rather frightening look.

                       “I can’t believe you did that!” Alice gapes.

                       “Hey, nobody macks on my baby cuz without getting my approval first. I refuse to believe a thirteen year old girl is the first choice for tutoring, no matter how many grades she’s skipped.”

                       “So you don’t think it’s because she’s intelligent, reliable, and a good tutor who’s helped half the people in her study halls already? You think the captain at the football team is interested in a thirteen year old girl, despite the fact that literally every girl who doesn’t prefer girls would gladly bend over backwards for him.” Alice asks dryly.

                       “Including you?” Shelly grins.

                       “I won’t deny it. He’s hot, he’s nice, he’s not broke, my mother likes him. That’s a rare combination.” Alice refuses to be ashamed of that.

                       “Pfft. See, he’s a loser.” Shelly scoffs, and takes back her purse. “And what are you talking about? Abby’s a total catch. No on in their right mind wouldn’t adore her. Unfortunately it’s high school and thus that adoration translates into filthy perversion of the basest order and she deserves so much better than that. No, my little darling is not going to loose her virginity in the filthy fast food wrapper covered back seat of some old second hand sedan that smells like old shoes at the hands of a fumbling horndog going for the guinness book of world records for fastest man alive so as not to be cause by policemen or muggers in whatever grandpa-forsaken alley or driveway he decides to park in. Not gonna happen. Not on my watch. No sir.”

                      “What… She’s only thirteen, Shelly.”Alice protests weekly not sure how to react, not that she ever does to this little force of nature.

                      “My point exactly.”

                      “I have to get back to class. Look, don’t… don’t go to football practice and don’t try to tutor our quarterback. Please. I have to go to school here for at least the rest of the year.” She begs.

                      “Alright, alright.” Shelly sighs. “I’m overdue to kidnap the twins anyways. Meet us at Gary Gouda’s after school?”

                       “Um, alright…” She agrees. If she protests Shelly’ll just stay longer to try to convince her and she knows she’ll just end up giving in anyways. “Which one?”

                        “Well, given we’ve been banned from all but one…” Shelly winks. Alice winces at this and nods. “Anyways, thanks for looking out for my Abby-girl. Keep up the good work.”

                        “Right.” As if Alice doesn’t regret even telling her about any of this. And of course, when Alice gets out of class, Abigail Jones is there, waiting for her by her locker, with an accusing look on her face, not saying a word. Alice forgot that Abigail’s silences are often as loud and piercing as her cousin’s noise. “I… I’m so sorry.” She apologizes, something she has frequently had to do during her long friendship with  Would you like to come?”

                         “I’d better. Both Michelle, and the twins are too much for you to mitigate on your own.” Abigail sighs and hikes up her backpack.

                         “I’m flattered you think either of them alone wouldn’t be.” Alice puts her books away, and takes out her purse.

                         “Why is she so invested in my love life anyways? Doesn’t she have one of her own?”

                         “No. She doesn’t want one either. I don’t think any of that sort of thing interests her at all actually.” Alice considers.

                         “Oh, great. She’s an ace. Maybe I can ask Dad to after her sexuality so she’ll find something else to do besides stalk me as my own personal celestial chaperone.” Abigail scowls, holding her books to her chest.

                          “Would he do that?” Alice isn’t sure Wether or not she wants to hope he would or not. She loves Shelly but she can be a little much some times. Both of them could probably use a break, and god only knows Shelly can take care of herself.

                         “No.” Abigail sighs. “I’d better talk to Uncle. I’ll meet you there, alright?” 

                          “Alright.” Alice waves as the girl turns to walk back home towards the shelter.

  
  


                       “You know, if you’d aborted, we could have had more afternoons like this.” Luci sighs as they just lie there naked and still entwined on the recliner.  Michael just gives him a kiss as he knows he doesn’t really mean it. Much. Anymore. Not since they were toilet trained.

                        “We wouldn’t appreciate it as much either.” He points out. Luci just shrugs and looks to the door as there’s a polite precise little knock.

                        “I’m sorry to interrupt anything but it’s very important I speak to my uncle alone.” Abigail’s voice is heard.

                        “Well, this is new.” Michael snaps himself and Luci back in order as well as the apartment. It actually isn’t as Abigail has consulted with Luci several times before, but not about things she wished openly discussed, so he won’t bring it up.

                        “May I please talk to Uncle, Aunt Miqa?” She’s giving him the eyes. It must be something important. Michael grimaces slightly at the appelation as he’s the one in the male body at the moment, not Luci, and will never switch again, but he just nods the grand vanishes.

                        “So, Abigail, what’s up.” Luci closes the door behind them, putting the sound proofing sigil on the white board.

                         “I need to know how to confine or banish a young nephilim.” She asks firmly. “Preferably without hurting her, but I’m willing to accept some minor discomfort providing there’s no lasting damage.”

                         “Shelly, giving you trouble?” Luci grins and heads to the kitchen tossing his niece a pudding cup and a spoon. Abigail doesn’t reply, she just sits down on the bean bag and starts eating her chocolate pudding.

                         “Yes.” She finally says. Luci sits across from her, expectantly with his own pudding cup and waits for her to speak. “I’m concerned about the health of my sex life.”

                         “Given you’re only thirteen, now I am as well.” 

                         “My future sex life.” Abigail corrects gravely. “One of the football players came to ask me about tutoring. I can only assume Alice saw and misunderstood and texted Shelly who immediately came and ground his face into the ground for hitting on her thirteen year old cousin and has pretty much stated that anyone I’m with must get her approval or something similar will happen to them, or worse, I’m assuming because it’s never anything better. What’s more she did it loudly enough that not only I heard it but half the school must have as well.”

                         “Hmmm. I see,” Luci manages not to laugh or smile the slightest at this. “Did you talk to your father about this?” He rests his chin in his hands.

                          “Not this exactly. I asked abba once how he handled Aunt Bree when they were growing up, but he said he was older and stronger so usually just ended up  beating on her or telling Aunt Michael. I can’t really do that since I’m younger and just human. If I tried to talk to Aunt Bree about this, she’d just laugh. Uncle Sam would take me seriously, but he’d just try talking to Shelly which wouldn’t do any good at and just make her annoyed and more devious. Uncle Dean might agree with her. Uncle Cas would just go talk to Uncle Sam. And Aunt Miqa would probably just scold her and then she’d be mad at me and that’s even less pleasant. I really don’t need her to get even with me for that so I thought I’d talk to you.”

                       “What about your mother?” Luci asks again. Abigail looks a bit surprised at the question.

                        “My mother? Well, I love my mother, but what could she do? She’s just human and Shelly doesn’t really have any respect for her anyways.” Abigail says regretfully.

                        “She could tell you how to talk to Shelly about this. Or she could explain it to her so she understands why you’re upset. She somehow managed to get heaven reconciled to my marriage to Michael, so I wouldn’t underestimate her. There are a lot of things she could do.”

                        “Oh, therapy, right. But that’s not exactly a quick solution. I’d really prefer to keep her from scaring away every boy in my life now before I get an unshakable reputation for being unapproachable with a psychotic cousin.” Abigail shakes her head.

                        “You know, that’s not a bad thing, Abigail. You’re a smart cookie. You could be as appealing as you want to be and know that Shelly will keep you safe. I know you don’t really want to dress this way.” Luci tugs on Abigail’s slacks. “You’re more of a long lacy flowy gown type of girl. I bet you a dollar if you had your way you’d wear nothing but designer prom dresses every single day.” The little smile she gives confirms Luci’s assumption.

                        “Well, clothing sends a message. And the one I’m sending with mye clothing and appearance is that I’m not looking for love or other romantic attention right now. That’s also why I don’t wear makeup and won’t be shaving when the time comes. I have more important things to do right now.” Abigail brushes a frizzy strand out of her face. She didn’t get her mother’s straight hair but only got enough of her father’s pretty curls to make her hair a static nightmare. With everything she has to do she just doesn’t have the time to put into taming it.

                        “Then why not let Shelly scare everyone away?”

                        “Because I want to live my life on my terms and that doesn’t include letting my absurd cousin decide who I can and can’t be romantically involved in. In truth I wish she had her own love life to concern herself with, but that’s not going to happen as I’m fairly sure she’s asexual.”

                        “Or in love with you.” Luci teases.

                        “Don’t utter such nonsense.” The irritated disdain in her voice is so much like her father’s it makes Luci smile. “We’re cousins and I have no interest in her that way. Or any other girl as of yet. I’m afraid I might be very heterosexual.” Abigail shakes her head, not realizing the piece of information she accidentally let slip.

                        “What’s his name?” Luci smiles.  

                        “What? No.”

                        “You said you’re not attracted to girls and are afraid you’re straight. Which means you have been attracted to guys or at best one of them.

                        “I’m not seeing anyone or even talking to anyone, Uncle.” She primly scolds him. He just smiles at her.

                         “What’s he like? Is he smart?”

                         “No, he’s kind of an idiot, but he’s very kind and very thoughtful.” Abigail confesses. “And very shy and he’ll never approach me while I’m in the eye of hurricane Michelle.”

                         “Why do you approach him?” The suggestion horrifies the girl.

                         “I can’t do that!” She blanches. “I don’t know how to talk to him without sounding pretentious, or condescending.”

                         “So you’ve talked to him.”

                         “No, but they’re always saying I’m showing off when I speak normally, or that I’m talking down to them or acting white, whatever that means. If I try not to utilize my full vocabulary, then I’m being disingenuous or trying too hard or… I don’t know. I just don’t know what to do.” 

                        “They’re just intimidated by your intellect, sweetie. And are probably self centered thoughtless assholes as humans this age are prone to be, especially when they feel threatened or inferior in some way.  It’s a product of their own insecurities that they’re projecting onto you. Calling you too smart implies they think they’re stupid, or that you’re better than then or have something you want. People hate for three reasons. Because they hate themselves and have to push those feelings onto another target in order to survive them; they want to be you or more precisely they think they should have what you have either in terms of possessions, abilities, status or the love of another person, or they feel threatened by you, thinking that you’ll get or take those same things from them, whether they’re in possession of them or aiming to have them. They’re all survival instincts that usually have nothing to do with you at all.

                    “Often there’s nothing you can do about it, but don’t ever think there’s anything wrong with you just because people are being nasty to you. Sure you can take it as a cue to review your behavior, but the actions and feelings of other people do not determine your worth or value, only your own do. And the only measure of worth or value you have to live up to are your own. You are Abigail, and if being Abigail is so awesome that it makes people feel insecure and intimidated, that that is their burden to bear, not yours.”  As always Abigail is silent while she thinks about this. It’s someone he never appreciated in his brother when they were younger, the thought, the silence, the serious responsible consideration. While Luci was disappointed that Raphael chose to have a simple human child, she is so much his daughter regardless, he can take the time to appreciate it now, especially when compared to the twins. 

                    “But i don’t want Jamal to feel insecure and intimidated by me for any reason. That’s why I can’t talk to him.” She looks so distressed. “Not yet. Maybe I can try not to talk the way I do. Or something.”

                    “Abigail, even if you do manage to dumb down your speech, you’ll still be strikingly attractive and he’d probably be intimidated by that, too. Granted you are fairly good at minimizing it, but still. You don’t reduce yourself for other people’s comfort, especially not for someone you care for or want to care for you. They can’t love you if you’re pretending to be someone else. Not the least because you don’t have to do any of that anyways.” Luci taps the now empty pudding cup. “Making people comfortable around you is an art and a skill like any other and does not require you to deminish yourself in any way. If you like, I can help you learn how to do it.”He offers. Abigail scrunches up her face as she considers.

                    “Isn’t that also diminishing yourself or at least manipulating people?”

                    “No. Diminishing yourself is making others comfortable by making them feel superior to you through false means. And if by manipulating people you mean, tailoring your actions to get a desired response, then yes, but so is pretending to be less than you are. These things are just tools. Why you’re doing something can often be as important as what you’re doing. You absolutely can use these skills to do terrible things that I once did, but you can use them for good things, to cause less pain, to foster peace and understanding, to make it so you don’t hurt those you don’t intend to, or in this case, to help keep them from hurting themselves and you because of their own pain.”

                       “Let me think about this. Though, that still doesn’t help me with my nephilim problem.” Abigail leans forwards to take her uncle’s cup and spoon before standing up.  

                       “Actually, I think it will.” Luci stretches and gets to his feet. “Let me know and I’ll set aside some time. As much time as you can give me. Anything to get a break from those little monsters.”

                        “You really shouldn’t say things like that about your own children.” Abigail scolds him as she puts the cups in the trash and the spoons in the dishwasher.

                        “They are, literally, devil spawn Abigail, and they’re here all the time. I love them, and they know I love them, but that doesn’t make them less of a relentless pain in the ass.” Luci heads to the door with his niece. “Later kid.” He kisses her forehead and closes and locks the door behind her. “Alright, Mitcha, teenage crisis handled, now get your sexy ass back here.”


	2. Gary Gouda's Magical Fun House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly does not get the hint, Sam and Raphael have each other's backs.

        “Great. They’re back.” Ashley sighs as she comes to the register. The terrible two and their absurdly tall cousin are currently double-teaming the whack a mole and depleting the tickets on the ski-ball machine with her absolutely mind boggling accuracy. She’d think they were cheating, but you can’t cheat at whack-a-mole. 

       “Would you like me to come on early?” the young man sitting at the table near her asks.

        “No squirt, just keep sitting there while they destroy the place. I’m good.” She tosses her little brother the apron and grey eared cap. “But you can leave early unless they’re here all night. I swear. If there’s a food fight, they are so gone.”

        “I’ll stay and clean it up if there is.”JJ says quickly. “Promise.”

        “Fine. But if mom comes in and the place is a wreck, there’s nothing i can do.” Ashley holds her hands up. “You understand that , right?”

        “I do.” He heads to the back. When he comes out the twins are dancing on the stage with the animatronics, while their Amazonian cousin conducts the band with a number card holder from a nearby table. Ashley just looks at him pointedly. “I got it.” He sighs and walks over. “Um, excuse me.” JJ raises his voice hopefully enough to be heard but not enough to actually be yelling at the tall, loud, intimidating, almost frightening young woman.

         “Can I help you?” She flashes him a smile.

         “Can you ask them to get down from the stage? It’s really expensive to fix those things if they break, and we only have this one franchise so that kind of accident could conceivably put us out of business.” 

         “Oh. Gotcha.” The golden girl winks and whistles shrilly. “Alright, Hellspawn, get your butt’s down, or you’re not getting pizza.”

         “You don’t have to threaten us,” The.. boy? Girl? They’re both so pretty it’s hard to tell.

         “I’m not repeating myself, that’s all. Are you hungry yet? Go order whatever.” She smacks their butts when they hop down sending them to the register with a wad of cash.

          “Hey! You guys hungry?” The other one waves to the other kids and people in the place.

          “If you’re buying for everyone pizza and drinks only!” Their cousin shouts.

          “Three cheese pizzas, two pepperoni and one salad bar for the lady.” The one with the blue eyes winks back at her.

          “Oh, hell no! Don’t listen to them!” She runs over to the counter. “Your biggest wings and how about a birthday cake? You make those here, right?”

          “Yes, but we don’t have one prepped…”

          “We’ll wait.” She smiles a bright glowing smile at him.

          “JJ?” Ashley points back to the kitchen.

          “I got it!” He runs back. “Emilio, it’s okay. I got the cake.”

 

           By the time he finishes, Everyone’s gathered at the long tables, eating pizza, except for one of two new additions eating a salad next to the loud tall one.

           “JJ? You okay?” Ashley raises an eyebrow at him, and looks to the table and then back to him. “Is that her?” She gives a mischeivous grin.

            “Um,” he just stares at the raven haired girl with copper skin, watching as she delicately eats her salad. “Can… can you take this over?”

             “Jesus, JJ, shape up. I’m manning the register. Just drop off the damn cake. It’s not like you have to talk to her.” She rolls her eyes. JJ slowly carries the cake over to the nearest empty spot on the table.

              “I can’t believe you’re eating a salad at Gary Gouda’s.” The tall blonde nudges the girl beside her.

               “I can’t believe you’re eating the pizza at Gary Gouda’s.” Is the pointed reply.

               “I’m just biding my time until we… CAKE!” The tall one bolts up, startling JJ so much he trips over one of the twins backpacks and falls forwards causing the cake to slide off it’s base onto the table in a heap. “It’s still good.” She scoots down and brings a fork. “Ha! That’s cute. A very merry unbirthday to you, too, my good man.”

               “I… you don’t have to eat that…” JJ stammers.

               “She will eat that, though, so don’t worry about it.” Sighs that senior , Alice, something with the mom protesting the halloween dance. “Right, Ab..igail.” She stops herself from calling her Abby. Abigail doesn’t like being called Abby. But she just nods and picks at her salad, not looking up.

               “Still, I’ll comp it.”

               “Don’t be silly, we’re good.” She doesn’t look quite so intimidating with a mouth full of cake.

               “For goodness sake, Shelly, use a napkin.” Alice grabs a few as the twins dig into the pile of cake with their hands. “Could we get a lot of paper towels please?”

               “And some sanitizer for when they’re done.” Abigail adds, not looking up. “Please.”

                “It’s okay. It’s my mess, just… tell me when you’re done?” He retreats to the back room. Ashley is just looking at them, shaking her head..

                “They’re eating it? They’re seriously eating it anyways?” Ashley sounds offended. “White people…” JJ just gets the roll of paper towels from under the counter.

                 “I swear to all that is, if either of you even think of throwing that, I will tan your hides the first chance I get.” Even when threatening, Abigail’s voice is just lovely, so… husky and low and soothing. “And that’s if I don’t just tell your mother.” This threat actually makes the twins quiet down with surprising speed.

                  “That’s low, Abby.” Shelly reproaches her.

                  “No, low is acting like these people get pain nearly enough to clean up the disaster you leave in your wake. You want a food fight, rent a hall and hire a cleaning service. Don’t.. fudge up a public place.” She slams her hands on the table. Everything she does is just amazing. Even yell at her cousins.  And she said fudge. That’s so cute and sweet and thoughtful given there are small children around.                  

                  “Smooth move, by the way.” Ashley grins and shakes her head. “So we’re comping them?”

                   “They said not to.” He says quietly. “I’m… I’m getting cleaning supplies for when they’re finished.”

                   “God, that girl is a maniac. “Ashley shakes her head at Shelly who dabs frosting on the twins noses. “Seriously, they’ve been kicked out of every franchise int he county. One sent out a warning.”

                   “I know.” 

                   “If that girl of yours is friends with those trouble makers, I’d reconsider getting involved.” Ashley shakes her head.

                   “She’s not. They’re her cousins shhh.” He shushes her. “Don’t say anything. Please.”

                   “Okay, okay.” She holds her hands up as he walks over to give them the paper towels. Which are needed as the twins have decided to paint each other’s face with the different colored frosting. Shelly’s eaten a surprising amount of cake.

                    “H-here you are.” JJ hands her the roll. “If you need anything else just let me know.”

                    “Thanks cutie. Say, how old are you? You don’t look sixteen.”

                    “I’m fifteen. I can work because it’s my family’s place.”

                    “You go to Souix Falls high?” She looks him over.

                    “Yes.” Should he say he’s in Abigail’s homeroom? He’s not sure. He heard what she did to Blake Marsden when he just asked Abigail for tutoring. anyways Abigail doesn’t say anything. She probably didn’t even notice him at school anyways.

                    “Are you a religious man?” Shelly rests her head on her hand.

                    “Michelle Cadence Singer.” Abigail gives her cousin a deadly glare.

                    “Shush, Shelly’s got this dearies.” Shelly reaches back and pats her cousin’s face. Much to JJ’s dismay, Abigail stands up and proceeds to walk out of the restaurant. “Well? Are you?” She turns back to JJ and waits expectantly.

                     “H-how do you mean?”

                     “Do you live god and appreciate all he’s done for us and the sacrifices his angels have made on your behalf?” Well that’s an unexpected turn.

                     “I, uh, yes? But ... I already have a religion… so … ” 

                     “Jesus Christ, Shelly!” Alice covers her eyes as the twins watch in amusement. “Stop, just… stop…”

                     “What? He’s cute, he’s nice, he has a job. If she wants to date I could think of worse people to start with and he’s only two years older than she is.”

                      “She doesn’t want to...Michelle.” Alice stands up as JJ just stands there frozen like a deer in a head lights.

                      “Not you, too.”

                      “This is too far, Michelle. You always take everything too far. I swear sometimes you’re as bad as my mother.” This gets a horrified look from Shelly. 

                      “You take that back!” But Alice just crosses her arms. “if you don’t take it back right now… I won’t speak to you again until you do.”

                       “Even if I believed you were capable of that I still wouldn’t. Protecting someone does not mean controlling their life.  Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go. I’ll see you as soon as you admit I’m right and apologize your cousin for humiliating her the way you did.”

                     “I did not humiliate her!” Shelly exclaims. Alice gives her a look that makes her friend blush. “This doesn’t count. I haven’t started yet and it doesn’t start until you walk out.”

                     “Fine.” Alice walks out.

                     “Fine!” Shelly crosses her arms and glares down at the twins. “Go wash your faces, you’re going home.”

                     “Awww.” They complain.

                     “Move!” She points to the bathroom doors. ‘Hey, do you have a mop?”

                     “It’s okay, I got this.” JJ says quietly.

                     “Go get me the damn mop.”

                      “Yes, ma’am.” He hurries off to the back.

 

                      “Shelly?”  she hears her father knocking on her door, through the blaring music. “Everything okay?”

                      “I’m fine. Just leave me alone!” She buries her head under her pillow.

                      “Alright. I just thought maybe you’d like some ice cream cake.”

                      “Liar.” She retorts.

                      “Not about there being ice cream cake.”

                      “I just ate an entire sheet cake. I’m good.” Shelly looks at the door, still tempted though.

                       “Do you want to talk to your mother?”

                       “No.”

                       “One of your uncles?”

                        “No.” She sighs. “Alright. Get the ice cream cake and you can come in.” Shelly waves the door unlocked. Her father comes in with two shallow bowls with ice cream cake and spoons and hands her the bigger one. ”Thanks.”

                       “How was school?”

                       “I dunno. I slipped out half way to kidnap the twins and take them to Gary Gouda’s. Plus some senior pervert was putting the moves on Abby so I had to take care of that. Nobody’s ever grateful are they? You know most people would kill for a guardian angel.” 

                       “True. So Abigail likes this senior?”

                       “No. She thinks he actually wanted to be tutored.” Shelly rolls her eyes. “And then when i find her a nice boy who’s not twice her age she tries to tear my hand off and so does Alice who told me about this sleeve hall in the first place.”

                       “I see.” He says simply. “Usually Guardian only protect people from physical harm, not emotional.”

                        “Oh, he wanted things to get physical you can be sure of that. She may be thirteen, but she doesn’t exactly look the wrong side of legal. And you know teenage boys, especially the handsome popular ones. No, better to just keep them away from her. I thought since she was so quiet and focused on her studies, she’d float under the radar for a few years, but so much for that.” Shelly gives an exhasperated sigh. She can’t believe Abby thought frumpy clothes can actually make you less attractive.

                        “Sometimes… sometimes you have to let people make their own mistakes, hon. And you know if she’s in trouble she’ll call for you. I know you don’t want her to go through anything bad or unpleasant, but that’s part of growing up. If you think she needs to know things she doesn’t, tell her. Teach her how to protect herself, what to watch out for. You can help keep her safe without making her resent you in the bargain.” He brushes a golden curl back behind her ear. 

                      “Yes, but she doesn’t listen. I mean, sure, she’s very mature for her age,but she’s just thirteen and doesn’t understand she’s just thirteen. And there’s a big difference between thirteen and eighteen. Alice of all people should understand that.” Shelly scowls and stabs her ice cream cake before puffing hte last bit aside, and leaning against her father with a sigh.

                      “Why was Alice angry?”

                      “Oh, who even knows.” Shelly gives an exhasperated sigh. “Do you know what she said to me? She said that I was as bad as her mother! Me! Can you believe that?”

                       “No. But you do tend to be rather...exhuberant in pretty much everything you do. The only thing would ever do halfway is your school work.”

                       “Daddy, we’ve been over this.” Shelly turns her big golden eyes up to her father. “The important thing about education is that you know the material not that you spend a certain amount of time and effort in learning it. I get a perfect hundred on all my exams. It my teachers are so close minded that they can’t accept my mastery of the material without completing their busy work, then that’s their problem. I’m not taking time away from training I actually need for that nonsense.”

                        “Yes, and there is value in doing the work itself. It’s teaching you how to learn. Not everything is going to come easily to you, Michelle.” He gently chides her.

                        “Oh, daddy, you know that’s not true.” Shelly kisses his cheek. “Thank you for the ice cream cake.”

                        “You didn’t actually eat a whole sheet cake, did you?” he changes the subject. At least she’s feeling better enough to troll him a little. Shelly laughs.

                         “Oh, no, just like half of one. I am doing some of the aforementioned training tonight, after all. So… oh, breidjamme! What time is it? I have to train with Uncle Michael.”

                         “Language, Shelly.”

                         “It’s norwegian, daddy.” She gives him a bright innocent smile and grabs her sword. “Later.” She gives his cheek another kiss and vanishes. Sam just sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose. When did ‘picking your battles’ become ‘wrapped around her little finger’?

                         “So, Shelly things Abigail’s attracting too much male attention now. Maybe he should let her father know about this. Or Alex. Make sure they give Abigail the talk or just...explain the pitfalls of love and sex. Obviously he can’t tell him anything specific, but just a little warning would probably be good. He’s still waiting for that particular shoe to drop with Shelly. It’s probably only wishful thinking she’s actually a late bloomer and not just extremely good at keeping things secret.

                          “Yes, Sam?” Raphael picks up the phone.

                          “Hey, um, I kind of wanted to give you a heads up. Shelly and Abigail had a little falling out over some senior at her high school and a pre emptive strike from her guardian angel. I don’t really know the details, but I thought you should know that she’s kind of… at that age now.”

                          “What age?”

                          “When boys become an issue. You might want to talk to her about that sort of thing.” 

                          “What sort of thing?”

                          “The talk. You know, birds and the bees. Sex, love, that sort of thing.” Sam winces.

                          “She’s already been taught the methods of reproduction and besides which she’s a sensible intelligent girl and I have no concerns that she will be anything other than sensible and intelligent about everything that comes her way.” Raphael replies cooly.

                          “I think we both know that love and desire have nothing to do with intelligence or sensibility, Raphael. Some of the smartest, steadiest people can be made bumbling idiots by love.”

                           “Was that really necessary?” His brother in law replies cooly.

                           “No, I… I was referring to Cas, actually. Though if the shoe fits. And she is your daughter.” The silence on the other end of the phone is very telling.

                            “Point taken. Have you addressed Michelle’s end of the conflict?”

                            “I’ve tried. Maybe her mother will have more luck.” The exasperated sigh on the other end of the phone indicates that Raphael disagrees.

                            “Thank you, for... warning me. Good night, Sam.”

                            “Good night.”


	3. Chaotic Nuetral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael has a talk with his daughter  
> Shelly gets a puppy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Abba means father in most semetic languages or more accurately, daddy or papa,

                     “Good afternoon Abigail.” Raphael stands at his daughter’s bedroom door, open, as always, as she sits at her desk doing her homework.

                    “Hello, abba.” She replies without her usual small smile.

                    “Is something giving you difficulty? You’re not usually still working this late.”

                    “No, abba. I went to get dinner with my cousins after school so I started late.” She shakes her head.

                    “You won’t want dinner, then?”

                    “No, thank you. I’m sorry. I should have let you know. If you already cooked something I’ll take it for lunch tomorrow.” She turns to look at him.

                    “Not yet. I was going to ask if you wanted to make something together. May I speak with you after you finish your work?”

                    “I’m almost done, abba. You can come in now if you like.” She turns back to her book.

                    “You’re doing very well with keeping your room tidy.” He makes sure to acknowledge as she inherited her mother’s propensity for housework.

                    “Yes, provided you don’t look in the drawers.” She replies. “I don’t understand. I’m perfectly organized at school, but I can’t seem to keep things in their place at home. It’s very frustrating.”

                     “There’s much less for you to keep track of at school. Have you tried making checklists?” 

                     “Checklists?” She looks back up breifly.

                     “Yes, we’re trying to get the interns used to using checklists at the hospital. It’s very easy to forget things. A checklist helps ease the burden of how much you have to remember.”

                      “Alright. I’ll give it a try. Thank you.” And there’s a smile, however breif. “I’m done. What did you need to talk to me about?”

                      “It’s come to my attention that you and your cousin have had another falling out.”

                      “Yes. She’s decided to start interfering in my personal life, which I don’t have and wouldn’t want her involved in even if I did. I neither need her protecting me from a broken heart or matchmaking.” It’s hard to tell which aspect makes her angrier. “But I’m taking care of it, so there’s no need for concern.”

                      “I’m here if you need me.” Raphael nods. “Abigail… it’s been suggested I talk to you about your… personal life.”

                      “What about it?” She looks a little confused, which makes sense as she just said she didn’t have one.

                      “About the future of it, regarding love, desire and such things.”

                      “Oh, I thought we already went over that when I was seven.” Abigail frowns. “Did something change?” She gives him a little grin, which he returns. she has her mother’s smile, and it never fails to get one from him.

                      “No. But that was about the mechanics, not the emotions. You’re a very sensible intelligent rational girl, but that doesn’t neccisarily translate into personal relationships, especially not the first ones, or at the beginning of them. There’s also the fact that feelings of love and physical attraction can be fairly indistinguishable when you first begin to experience them. And it can blind you to a person’s flaws or even their true nature.”

                       “I know.” She nods.

                       “There’s knowing, and there’s experiencing. Knowing that it happens, how it happens, why it happens doesn’t prepare you for when it does happen. It doesn’t even neccisarily help you recognize that it’s happening when it happens. And you don’t choose who makes you feel a certain way. All you get to choose is what you do about it.” Abigail just… nods. “If there’s anyone you care for or even just feel drawn to, I’d hope that you’d be able to come to me and talk about your feelings with me. Or even ask me about things you’re unsure of. Or for those subjects none of us want to discuss with each other, that you have someone experiences and trustworthy you feel comfortable talking to. Preferably an adult. Do you have someone you can speak to?”

                        “Yes. I.. when I have things I don’t feel comfortable talking to you or my mother about I usually talk to Uncle Helel. He’s actually offered to help me make freinds at school. I’m not sure how that will help me make freinds at school. I’m not sure how that will help with my nephilim problem, but he seems to think it will. Is that okay?” she looks at him a bit hesitantly.

                        “I’m not sure.” Raphael has to stop and think. “You know that I love my brother and trust him with the general wellbeing of those most important to me, but he is still…. Whatever advice he gives you will be very effective, but it may also be morally questionable, even if properly applied. He’s doing his best to become a better person, but he has Days of bad habits to work through.”

                        “I see.” Abigail nods, thoughtfully. “I have noticed that. But he’s very easy to talk to. He always knows what to say or what not to say. I never feel judged or unworthy. If I could at least learn how to make people feel that way, that would be something good. Wouldn’t I?”

                        “It would be useful. Helel has many useful things he could teach you, but he might not be the best person to teach you how to use them ethically.”

                        “Well, I suppose I’ll just have to use my own moral compass, then.” Abigail gives him a semi reproachful grin, and rests her head on her hand.

                        “Yes, and if you have questions about ethics ask someone else. Your Uncle Sam is a good choice, and of course I will always give you my opinion if you request it.” Raphael kisses her forhead. “You are a good person, Abigail, I have every faith that if you make sure you act with the best of intentions, and listen to your heart  as much as your head, you will do wonderfully. You are your mother’s daughter, after all.” While it warms her heart every time her parents tell her she’s like the one they love, it reminds her yet again, that she’s more her mother’s daughter than anything. If only for her humanity.

                        “Abba, was I conceived accidentally?” The question surprised him.

                        “No, you weren’t. Why do you ask?”

                        “Because the twins were conceived accidentally, which is why they’re only human. But why am I?”

                        “I thought you already asked us this.” 

                        “When I was seven. And I don’t really remember the answer only that it wasn’t very satisfactory. I’m an adult now so you can tell me the truth.” She folds her hands in her lap. “Did… did you think I wouldn’t be a good enough person to handle having grace?”

                        “No, of course not. That’s largely, though not entirely a matter of parenting. I had faith your mother and I could instill the proper values in you. There were several reasons. First of all, your mother is human. Which means that bearing a nephilim would have been extremely dangerous for her. The reapers have been particularly agressive in regards to the souls of hunters and their loved ones, and after the first ressurrection, they’re sending the souls directly to the abyss upon passing, with no other option. It is of course a bit more complicated than that, but I didn’t want to risk being absent at the wrong time and losing her to the abyss from something that was so easily avoidable.

                       “The second reason is that I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being human. Father considered humans his greatest creations, after all. Lastly, most importantly, after Michelle was born, she was also conceived accidentally, in case you were unaware. But after her birth, we discovered that nephilim are sent to purgatory upon their deaths without exception. First generation nephilim,  And neither of us wanted that for you.  As you are now when you die you can join your mother in heaven and I’ll be able to see you both until the time comes you decide to reincarnate.”

                       “Oh.” Abigail seems to accept this. “That… that means Shelly…”

                       “Yes. We’ve done our best to make purgatory a less terrible place, but so far, Death refuses to make any exceptions for those thirteen and older. And even then, they’re sent straight to the abyss. I think you would have been a wonderful nephilim becaue you’re a wonderful person. I don’t think angelic powers could have made you any better than you are, because not having them hasn’t made you any less. There’s no limit to what you can be or what you can accomplish, just in how you can do it.

                          “But those limits are what inspire creation and creativity and can end up leading to the production of great beauty and genius. It’s frustrating. I know. I was, without choice and at the time possibly without hope of ever retreiving it, without my grace for a time. It was difficult, but still led to something wonderful that might not have happened otherwise.”

                         “You mean, falling in love with my mother?”

                         “No, I was already in love with her, though I didn’t want to admit it. But I was referring to you. I never would have willingly given up my grace on my own and I would never have sired a nephilim. It’s possible that even if I had eventually decided to try it, that my relationship with your mother would have been at a very different place entirely at the time we decided to conceive you,and the child we would have gotten while wonderful, would not have been you. It’s odd how somethings, in retrospect turn out to have been for the best, maybe even having an annoying over bearing, overprotective cousin.  I have faith in you, Abigail. I trust you, and love you without boundary or reason  if only for the fact that you are you and you are my favorite song.”

                         “I love you, too, abba.” Abigail puts her arms around his neck. While Uncle can make her feel enough, one of the best things about abba is that he can always make her feel as if she might even be wonderful.

 

                          “Um, your majesty?” A demon clears his throat.

                          “Yes?” The king of hell looks up from his paperwork.

                          “She’s back.” Crowley waits breifly for him to say more, but the demon just stands there, nervous.

                          “Which she? There are several that should properly invoke that tone of dread in your voice. My mother? Amara? My ex-wife? The nightingale? You’ll have to be more specific.”

                           “The… the little Winchester. Well, not so little now.” The demon wrings his hands nervously not sure what to do. “You told us to tell you if she came back, no matter when or where either of you are.”

                           “I assume she’s in the kennels again.” He sighs and puts the pen down.

                           “Yes.”

                           “And no one is approaching her, as ordered?”

                           “Yes, majesty. I mean, no, majesty.”

                           “Good.” He gets to his fet and takes a small covered pewter dish from the cabinet before leaving the throne room and walking down to the kennel.

                            “Who’s a good girl?” He can hear her coo. “You are, yes you are. You’s a good girl.”

                            “Hello, Michelle.” He greets the young woman playing with the hellhound pups. 

                            “Hey, Crowly. Are they ready yet?” She looks up excitedly. “Their eyes are open.”

                            “I believe so. Have you selected one?”

                            “Yes.I want the little one.” Shelly picks up the runt. “I will love her and pet her and squeeze her and name her George.” She demonstrates, the puppy held to her cheek.

                            “Now, you know what to feed him.”

                            “Yeah, the souls of the damned. But only until she’s fully grown.” she scrunches up her face as the puppy licks her cheek. “Whooof, hellfire breath. Bleh.” The scene looks surprisingly adorable and extremely disturbing all at the same time.  “And you’re sure I can have her?”

                           “Absolutely not, I would never be stupid enough to give you a hell hound. In fact if I find out that this runt was not devoured by his siblings as would normally happen, and instead abducted by you, I will be very angry.” He shakes his finger at her. 

                          “Right. So, how often does she have to be fed?”

                          “That depends on how quickly you want him to grow. He won’t starve, but he’ll be fairly cranky if he doesn’t eat at least once a year and that’s not very pleasant. try not to let this one get killed, hmm?” He holds out the dish in his hand, taking off the lid. “Turkish delight?”

                           “Ooo, don’t mind if I do.” She reaches up to take a peice. “Hmmm. I expected something more. I mean, it’s good, but it’s not sell out my family to the white witch good.” She shrugs. “Would you like some turkish delight, Georgie girl? Here you go. It’s yummy, huh?” The hellhound puppy eats the peice of candy much to Crowley’s amazement. “Yes it is, so yummy. You’re coming home with me, George. Yes, you are. But first, I’m giving you a good bath. Yes, I am. A nice little bubble bath. Here, have some more.” Crowly breifly wonders if it’s possible for a hellhound to get diabetes.

                         “I can’t help but notice your clothing is stained with blood. Have we been hunting or have any of my people given you trouble?” He nods to her sleeves.

                         “Huh? Oh, no just sparring with Aunti Miqa. I didn’t think it would translate across the veil. My wings are big enough to use. Not to fly of course, but tactically.” She smiles proudly. “Of course my moments of clumsiness are beyond spectacular, especially when I get tired of losing and try something creative. Oh! I actually got a hit in! Can you believe it? I absolutely would have died the next second if it was a real fight, but still I tagged her. Pretty impressive, huh? Oh, I can’t wait to tell mom!”

                          “I would, yes.”

                          “So, how are things here?” She asks politely, though she’s always been genuinely curious about hell and it’s management, probably because she has purgatory waiting for her after her death. 

                           “The usual. I hate to say it but the nightingale had some good ideas. Bread and circuses and all that for the minions. It’s still terrible of course, but the terribleness is all self inflicted, with the illusion of freedom and autonomy. It’s diabolical, actually, though i doubt she was organized enough to have planned it so conciously..”

                           “Huh, I guess, so. Have you considered changing hell further? You know, redesigning it, making it more of a… reformatory than punitive?”

                           “Why on earth would I? This is hell, dear, while it’s adorable that you believe otherwise, all of us here are beyond salvation. That’s why we’re in hell.”

                           “If Uncle Helel can be saved, then you can’t really say that about anybody or anything, now can you.” Shelly challenges.

                           “If he can be saved, then that is certainly true.” Even the demon ‘cure’ was not enough for salvation, only enough to unearth emotions more painful than anything else they had to endure in hell. While he’s not entirely certain whether or not he wishes Lucifer was in fact reformed or reforming, or even whether or not it’s even possible, he does not believe it to be even remotely true. It’s far more likely that the devil is just biding his time, playing the long game, and when he gets his chance, everyone will suffer for the humiliation he’s endured. However, he certainly wishes to be there, if only to see the look on that bastard Michael’s face when it happens.

                          “Why you cling so hard to this place? You know you can go to the abyss and be reincarnated when your soul is healed. You hate all of this. I mean, you don’t really have freinds and family you’re staying in existence for. So why linger in an existence you hate with people you hate ruling a place you hate stuck playing the role of someone you’re not particularly fond of being either.” it’s probably the most affectionate, genuinely benevolent way he’s ever heard anyone advocate for a person being thrown even further from existence.

                         “Because, my little sunbeam, it can always be worse. There’s no garuntee the next life would be any better than the one I already had, and if karma has anything to do with it, it’s garunteed not to be. Here I have made the best of a bad situation. Better the devil you know, after all. Why do you ask?”

                         “Curious, really. What if you could be garunteed a good loving family? Who will be better to you than this one, and make you a better person.” She wheedles.

                         “I like what I am. I know what I’m good at. I’m in a position of power, and freedom. Goodness does not interest me.”

                          “Liar.” She smirks. “So, it’s late and I’m going to get going. Thanks again.” She slips the puppy into her backpack, and heads out, returning his wave good bye as she leaves.

 

                         “Psst.” Alice hears as something shakes her shoulder. God what is that smell? “Pssst. Alice.” Is that Shelly? Alice opens her eyes. 

                         “Shelly? Is… is everything alright?” She rubs her eyes. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

                         “I got it.” The young woman grins at her.

                         “You got it.” Alice frowns and yawns, sitting up. ‘What have you got?”

                         “The puppy?”

                         “The.. didn’t you just say you weren’t speaking to me?” Alice gripes. This girl is beyond belief.

                         “What are you talking about? I never said that.” Shelly takes out some glasses and slips them on Alice’s face. “Here. You’ll need these.”

                         “Michelle…” Alice groansa nd takes them off, looking at the clock. “Michelle, it is two in the morning. I have to get up for school in four hours. Why are you brining me a puppy at two in the morning and what the hell is that smell?”

                          “That smell is the reason I currently can’t take George home yet, but that’s not a problem, because you promised you’d keep her for me.”         

                           “Are you insane?! I can’t have a dog! And I never promised you anything like that. I would never promise you anything like that. Are you insane?” She asks again, though it’s a question that really can’t be asked enough.

                           “You did so! Thirteen years ago when I was crying and upset beause Daddy killed my dog, you said that if I got another one you’d keep it for me so he wouldn’t do that again.”

                            “What… are you talking about the invisible dog? Is that waht you’re talking about? Are you insane? I didn’t think it was a real invisible dog, I was just trying to make you feel better. And what kind of invisible dog would your father just kill without hesit… Michelle… What kind of dog is it?”

                            “It’s a puppy,not a dog. She’s hairless and tiny and likes candy.” Shelly takes something out of her backpack. Alice doesn’t see anything but the smell is a little stronger, ike egg salad and cotton candy. “You need the glasses to see her.” Alice reluctantly puts the glasses back on, though chances are it’s just a prank and shelly’s going to…

                            “OH MY GOD!” She jerks back so hard she falls off the bed. “What is that thing?!” It’s like it’s on steroids or something. 

                             “It’s my puppy.” Shelly smiles. “Isn’t she cute?”

                             “No! She’s a.. is that a… is that a hellhound?” Alice scoots back against the dresser.

                             “No, she’s a Shelly hound. Because my Georgie girl is never going back to that bad old place. No she’s not. You’s my doggy now.”

                             “That… you stole a hellhound?”

                             “I wouldn’t use those exact words. I didn’t pay for her certainly. But come on, just for a little while. A itty bitty leetle while. You know i woulnd’t ask if it would be even a little dangerous for you and you did promise and you can’t send her back there or with me yet because she’ll die. She’s a runt, they’ll eat her, and she’s just a little puppy, and wook at that widdle face. Do you really want that wittle bitty face to die?”

                              “Kind of.” Alice tenses as Shelly lies across the bed holding the tiny beast out towards her. God, it’s like cancer incarnite.

                               “Please. Pleeaaase. Pwetty pweese Awice.” Shelly holds the puppy in front of her face, to make it  ‘talk’ “Pwease save me Auntie Awice. I’m a good doggy. I’ll just be quiet and sleep in a little crate with some of mommy’s old socks until mommy comes and gets me first thing in the morning.”

                              “My mother will kill me, Shelly. Or worse. If she finds me with a freaking hellhound in my closet, she will freak! I’ll get… exorcised or something, or sent to some christian reform school or… or...”

                              “How will she know? George is invisible and she doesn’t know they actually exist.”

                              “The smell?!”

                              “Whatever she does or doesn’t notice, smell, noise, whatever unless she has your glasses, she can’t see her. I promise. Only at night and only until the smell wears off and I can hide her from my parents in my room.”

                              “Michelle…” Alice slowly gets to her feet. “That is a hellhound. They kill people and carry their souls to head for demon deals. Do you know how I know this? You told me, that’s how. They’re evil, evil creatures.”

                               "No they’re just… taken advantag of, you know like pitbulls. There’s no such things as a bad breed of dog, only bad masters. They’re loyal, devoted, intelligent, obedient dogs who do what they are trained to do. Yes, so they’re a litle agressive and challenging to raise, but nothing is naturally good or naturally evil. Anything can be put to good or bad use, with enough effort and I will prove it with this little sweetie.” She nuzzles the top of his head. It gives a little doggy smiles that almost makes it cute. Almost. It’s still terrifying, but it’s baby terrifying.

                               “I.. I don’t know.”

                               “Please, come on. I’ll give you an extra couple hours tonight so you can sleep in.” Shelly wheedles. Given she’s talking about actual units of time its incredibly tempting as Alice is going to be exhausted if she doesnt.

                               “You’ll put it in something like a crate, right?”

                               “Yes. Absolutely.”

                               “That it can’t get out of.”

                               “Of course.”

                               “And it’s just overnight .”

                               “I swear.”

                               “And just until the smell goes away.”

                               “It’s already improved so much with just one bath.” Shelly gives her the eyes which really just pisses Alice off sometimes.

                               “Fine.” Alice grumbles. Shelly squeals and hugs her, kisses her cheek. The puppy licking the other side of her cheek, making Alice shudder. It’s like being licked by hot sewage.

                              “Yeah. Fine just.. crate that thing, shove it in the closet and let me go back to sleep.” Alice holds her breath, turning her face as far from the puppys as possible.

                               “Oh, Alice, You’re the best.” Shelly squeezes her.

                               “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Alice sighs. She always gives in. Why does she always give in?


	4. Junior Goddess of Karaoke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail makes some freinds

                   “Everything alright, Abby?” Her mother asks as she quietly eats her omlette.

                   “I’m a bit nervous about going to school today. Shelly humiliated the captain of the football team when he was trying to ask me to tutor him in calculus. And also made a scene at the workplace of one of the boys in my class when she took the twins out yesterday and I don’t know what’s going to happen when I go into school today. But I don’t think it’s going to be good.”

                    “I see.” While Abigail understands that her mother had a vastly different childhood, and is justifiably happy that her daughter worries about things like social pitfalls and complications of navigating a normal human high school with normal humans, and not say luring sexual predators to feed her vampire family, she does wish her mother wasn’t so obviously thrilled whenever she talks about her problems.  “What are you afraid will happen?”

                     “That her antics will draw me even further into the spotlight than skipping two grades and entering a school system during high school and that they’ll generally make things unpleasant for me because I’m both different and an outsider.” Abigail explains, with the serious face her mother just adores. Of course her annoyed face just makes her mother think she’s even cuter. They love her sure, but will they ever think of her as anything but an adorable little child?

                      “Why would they necessarily make things unpleasant for you just because they notice you?” Her mother rests her head on her hand with that therapist look on her face, which is better than the ‘my baby is so cute’ look, but Abigail is not in the mood.

                      “Because they’re human. Can I be excused?”

                      “Of course.” Her mother looks disappointed about ending the conversation, so when Abigail gets up to take the dishes to the sink, she gives her a kiss on the cheek so she doesn’t think Abigail’s mad at her. “You know, Abby, they might like you. You should give them a chance to actually get to know you. Talk to them, you know. It’ll be okay.”

                       “Maybe.” Abigail concedes. “I don’t know. It’s not as if I don’t know enough people already.”

                        “True, but maybe some normal people…” Her mother trails off.

                        “There’s no such thing. Remember? Are you still leaving to see Aunt Claire today?” 

                        “Yes, Are you still sure you don’t want to come with me? I’ll write you a r lunches for school.” Her mother reaches up to smooth out Abigail’s hair a little, impossible the task may be.

                          “Yes. I’ll have dad take me when break starts. I don’t want to get behind on my classes. The work is harder this year.”

                           “Alright. If you change your mind, just let me know. Have a good day honey.”

                           “I will, bye mom.” Abigail grabs her backpack from the computer desk and heads out to the hall.

                           “Alright you two, here are your lunches, now get out.” Luci hands the twins their lunch bags and ruffles their hair before shoving them out into the hall.

                           “Hey, Abby.” They greet her briefly before racing each other to the elevator.

                           “It’s Abigail.” She corrects them. “Uncle?” She looks to him before he can close the door. “Can I ask you something?”

                           “Sure kid. What do you need?”

                           “I don’t know.” Abigail confesses.

                           “Hold on.” He goes back in for a second, grabs Michael’s jacket, then comes out closing the door behind him. “Let’s talk on the way to school, so you’re not late.”

                            “Okay.”

 

                            A couple other sophomores are whispering to each other, daring each other to go talk to Abigail. It’s getting distracting.

                            “Can I help you?” She looks up at them forcing herself not to sound annoyed. One shoves the other forwards. They’re in homeroom with her she thinks.

                             “Who was that woman you were with this morning? The goddess. How do you know her?” Ask the girl, what’s her name, Rosalie? 

                             “What? You mean my uncle?”

                             “That was a guy?” The other blurts out. 

                             “No, not really? He’s biologically female, he just identifies more as male.” Abigail tries to explain.

                             “Then why does he dress like that?” the second girl asks making Rosalie wince. 

                             “Katniss,” Rosalie hisses.

                             “Because he’s gorgeous and likes the attention.” She shrugs. The girls laugh though she’s being neither catty nor sarcastic. Uncle is Uncle.

                             “Man, I can’t imagine having a relative that gorgeous.  That must suck.” They pull chairs over to the desk and rest their elbows on it.

                             “Not really.”

                             “So, who was that girl the other day who attacked Jeremy? I heard she was your cousin. Was that her mom?”

                              “No, she’s my father’s sister’s daughter. My uncle is my father’s brother. My family tree is fairly complicated.” Abigail admits. That’s not even including the fact that her aunt is a valkyrie, her father’s side is angels including the devil, and she doesn’t even know who her biological grandparents even are or were. It’s likely they’re all dead and not just her mother’s. 

                               “Wait, I thought your mother was white.” Katniss frowns.

                               “She is.”

                               “But… are you adopted?” she lowers her voice.  Rosalie covers her eyes, mouthing a plea to the heavens. Abigail understands the feeling, but Katniss isn’t nearly as bad as Shelly. Who actually isn’t nearly as bad as her mother, by all accounts.

                              “No. My grandfather had a lot of very different children.” She explains as best she can. “I’m my parents biological child.”

                              “Oh, okay. So… what are you?”

                              “Human.”

                              “Oh for God’s sake, Kat.” the other shoves her arm.

                              “No. I mean no offense, but I was wondering about your cultural heritage. I can’t exactly tell by looking. I’m taking an interest not making a judgement.”

                             “I’m not sure about my mother’s exact ethnicity, but my father is African and Incan mix.” Abigail considers. Maybe her father knows her mother’s genetic background.

                             “Is that where you get those gorgeous cheekbones?” Katniss lifts her hand, which Rosalie quickly slaps down before she can touch Abigail’s face.  “Sorry.”

                             “No, these are my mother’s. though she says I mostly have my father’s personality. Which is nice, though I wouldn’t mind if I’m like my mom. My parents are the only sane people in my family.”

                             “Oh, I hear that. Are you really only Thirteen? Did you skip a few grades?”

                             “Yes. I was going to a private school with my cousins, but I wanted to go somewhere they weren’t. And since I wouldn’t know anybody anyways I thought I might as well be intellectually stimulated. Why be bored as well as lonely?”  Okay, maybe that was a little too open and honest.

                              “Awww.” they coo over Abigail who’s both annoyed by and appreciative of the sentiment. “Hey, you’re in calculus, right?”

                              “Yes.”

                              “Are you still good at pre algebra?” Katniss smiles.

                              “Yes, you need some help?”

                             “Not me, my step brother. He flunked the aptitude test for college and my parents want to kill him or get him a tutor. Either way.”

                            “I’m kind of afraid to. I don’t want my cousin to find out and repeat that scene with Blake.  I was actually afraid to come to school today after that.” Abigail confesses.

                           “Aww, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. Anyway it’s more embarrassing for Blake than for you.”

                           “I know.” Abigail says quietly. “Though he shouldn’t, my cousin, she’s kind of a natural disaster.”

                           “I know people like that.” Rosalie commiserates. “My family’s too boring to have any, but church, on the other hand. So hey, do you like music? Louis’ V is having a Junior God of Karaoke contest, and we were going to go after school.”

                           “You’re inviting me to go?”

                           “Of course!” Katniss jumps onboard without hesitation. “You don’t have to sing, if you don’t want, just join Rosalie and Tris and me in the booth and cheer as loud as you can when one of us goes up. The winner gets a god or goddess of Karaoke photo shoot with the reigning adult champion. Not that would be such a big deal to you as your uncle is the current God of karaoke, but there’ll be a talent agent there too.”

                           “That’s right. This was his year.” Abigail smiles. This year is Aunt Bree’s year to enter.  “Okay. my Aunt Claire was runner up in one of the adult ones. They said it was fun. Let me double check with my parents, but it shouldn’t be a problem.” She takes out her phone.

                           “Wait. You’re going to ask your parents permission to go to a bar?”

                           “It’s not a real bar until they unlock it at ten, and I’m not going to drink. Hello, abba? I wanted to ask if I could go to the junior karaoke contest tonight with some friends. No friends. Katniss, Rosalie and Tris.” Abigail looks over to them. “What time is the contest?”

                            “It runs from four to seven Mr.Jones.” Rosalie leans forwards, speaking loudly into the phone.

                            “Uh-huh. Louis V so I don’t know. Do they serve food there? Yes, abba. Okay. If they have steak I’ll get steak. Thank you. Bye.” Abigail hands up. The girls look at her in awe. “What?”

                            “Your parents are awesome.” Katniss looks awed.

                            “All he did was tell you to get steak?” Rosalie can’t help but feel a little jealous. Hers…

                            “Yes. I need more iron and protein this week, I tend to get a bit anemic at this time of the month.” Abigail puts the phone away.

                             “You have free period last, right?” Rosalie asks.

                             “Yes, why?”

                             “Why don’t we skip out so we can get you in something a little better for the contest.”

                             “I’m not going to sing. And I do help people with their work in free period. “Abigail says regretfully.

                             “Oh. well, let me get tris. We’ll figure something out then. Or.. is this like for religious reasons?” Rosalie waves at Abigail’s outfit.

                             “No, it’s so I don’t encourage unwanted attention.”

                             “Well, if you’re the only one in Louis’ V dressed like a nun you will draw attention. What size are you?” Rosalie looks her over.

                             “Um, I’m not sure.” Abigail looks down at her clothes. “They’re all altered anyways.”

                             “Well, we’ll figure it out free period. Later.” Rosalie gets up as the teacher comes in. 

                             “Later. You’ll love Tris.” Katniss squeezes Abigail’s arm and goes to her desk. Abigail gives a small smile and looks back to her books. She’ll have to let uncle know, too.

 

                              “You look fantastic. That cami is adorable.” Rosalie reassures Abigail, as she tugs on the hem of her shirt. She didn’t really wear the camisole to use as outerwear. She just likes to have something lacy and pretty on and the sweatshirt is kin of itchy under the pocket.  She’s not quite ready for a bra yet, though she knows she’s pushing it, it’s not usually an issue under  the rest of her clothes. Tris’ mini sweater covers her shoulders and matches the capri’s Rosalie had so she does look fairly decent. At least she matches. But people are looking at her more and she’s not sure she likes that.

                            “Thanks.”

                            “Okay. Rosalie’s up. Get ready to scream! We gotta drive up that meter.” Tris slaps the table.

                             “Next up. Rosalie Masters singing Dirt Road by Maxi Pals!”

                             “Wait is that appropriate?” Abigail frowns but cheers anyways when Rosalie steps upon stage.

                             “Wooo! Rosie! Yeah!!!”

                             “Not yet you morons!” She shouts to them.

                             “You should get some coffee, you look exhausted.” Abigail stiffens as she hears a familiar voice.

                              “Well I am. Because I had a hard time sleeping with a damn devil dog in my closet! And you said it was just for night time!” Abigail sinks down in the booth hoping they don’t see her.

                               “Hey, isn’t that your cousin?” Tris looks back and waves to the two. “Hey! Abigail’s cousin! Over here!”

                               “Hey. Abby, you have friends!” Shelly slides into the booth behind them. Abigail tightens her lips, does she have to sound so surprised? “Why haven’t you introduced me? Hi. I’m Michelle, you can call me Shelly.  Here to cheer me on, cuz?” She musses Abigail’s hair that Tris somehow miraculously got to lie flat.

                                 “No.” Abigail sighs and turns to look at her. “I didn’t know you were competing.”

                                 “What are you kidding? I have to keep the family legacy intact. Oh, my gosh, look at you! You look adorable. Hold on, I’m taking a picture.” Shelly takes out her phone. “She is just the cutest thing. And this… well, nothing can top the eeyore footies, but…”

                                 “Eeyore footies?” Tris raises an eyebrow. Oh dear god in heaven no. Abigail prays but to no avail and Shelly starts the slideshow. Every christmas morning, as a gift for her mother she wears a pair of damn eeyore footies with a hood, as for some reason her mother really really loves it and was constantly putting her in little eeyore everything when she was a baby and infant and toddler. How the hell did Shelly get pictures.

                                 “I feel your pain.” Tris puts a comforting hand on Abigail’s shoulder as she silently prays to die. “Sailor suits. My mom, huge sailor moon fan. But my dad was into Divergent series, so Beatrice Usagi Smith.” Abigail gives a slight smile, despite herself and nods. 

                                 “So are you here to sing? Oh, that’ll be great! Alice you’ve got to hear Abigail sing. She has the sweetest little gravely voice.” Shelly turns back to her friend who’s giving her a tired, exasperated look.  

                              “Awwwwwww.” Katniss and Tris just melt.

                              “Oh, that one’s the cutest. I forgot how cute. I think I’ll make that my wallpaper.” Shelly takes her phone back.

                              “I thought you weren’t talking to Alice.” Abigail snaps, trying to take the phone away, with no success.

                              “Why on earth would you think that? She’s my best freind.” Shelly’s indigant response is almost believable.

                              “Because you said so right in front of me.” Abigail reminds her.

                              “Thank you.” Alice gestures gratefully to her.

                              “It’s too late to sign up and I’m just here to cheer on my friends.” Abigail finishes. “One of whom is about. to.. finish singing. So will you please be quiet and go sit down?” 

                              “Mums the word.” Shelly mimes zipping her lip and sits down with Alice briefly before running up to talk to one of the organizers. What is she doing? Probably something to embarrass Abigail in some way.

                              “It could be worse, You could have to live with her.” Tris points out. She’d commiserated in free period, as her big brother is similarly overbearing and flamboyant. Or so she says. Abigail has a hard time believe any mere mortal could be as bad as her cousin.

                              “True.” She turns back to listen to Rosalie sing the end of the even more inappropriate than she remembered song. Honestly Abigail can’t believe they had that on there. Tris sings Lovelorn by Foster Spouse and Katniss actually goes with the Hanging Tree and does very well. She’s the best of the three, honestly.

                               “Oh, you are so going to win.” Tris says as soon as Kat comes back. Abigail would absolutely agree if Shelly weren’t participating. Honestly she really shouldn’t be. It’s not fair to those who are just normal human beings.

                               “You were fantastic.”Is all she can say honestly.

                               “Next up. Michele Cadence Singer singing ‘How to be a Heart Breaker’.”

                               “Want us to boo her?” Katniss asks. Abigail shakes her head and politely pays attention. Noise is noise. It was a sweet offer, but it wouldn’t help. Sure enough the giant golden exploitation of Charisma with the voice often angel stuns everyone in the bar garnering massive applause when she ends her performance with a bow.

                              “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Tris gapes. 

                              “Nope.” Abigail sighs and claps for her cousin, who gets the loudest cheer by a large margin. 

                              “And our last addition Abby Jones singing…”

                              “What?!” Abigail straightens up as Shelly comes down from the stage and pulls her up as Shelly comes up and pulls her from the booth up to the stage.

                               “You got this Cuz.” She winks, shoving the Mike in her hands. “It’s your favorite song.” 

                              “Ready kid?” The Dj asks.

                               “Wait! What song? I didn’t hear.” Abigail feels like she’s going to pass out or throw up, she’s not sure which. He doesn’t hear her but she can recognize  the opening riff. Okay, okay, this one. An oldie but a goodie. She won’t be as good a Shelly but who the hell is? Abigail looks to the table to see her new friends cheering her on. Okay, she can do this.

                                “Of course the ironic thing is that she started singing this to vent her frustration, which she’s definitely feeling right now. When she’s done she gets a large round of applause, the loudest of which is of course from her cousin, whooping and whistling at the top of her lungs, pushing the needle of the meter to the limit.

                               “Well, I guess we have our winner. Abby Jones! Congradulations. You are our new Junior Goddess of Karaoke.” Abigail can feel her cheeks burn. She wasn’t better than Shelly. They didn’t like her better than Shelly. she only won because Shelly’s the loudest thing in all of existence and tipped the scale. It’s infuriating. She didn’t even want to compete and she sure as hell didn’t want to have it handed to her like a two year old playing checkers with her father. “Miss Jones?” Abigail just puts the microphone down and runs out of the bar.

                            “Abby, wait!” Shelly calls after her.

                            “Is everything okay?” The dj asks.

                            “Uh, yeah, no. She’s probably just not feeling well. It’s okay. Hold on. Let me give you her info so you can mail her the prize and stuff.” She quickly takesout a small business card with Abigail’s full name address phone number and school picture on it. “Here. Excuse me.” She runs out after her little cousin.

                            “Should we go after her?” Rosalie asks, a little confused.

                            “Probably?” Katniss rubs the back of her neck. 

                            “I don’t know. I’m kind of pissed. Why didn’t she tell us she could sing like that?” Tris crosses her arms.

                             “We didn’t ask. We only started talking to her for the first time today, Tris.” Rosalie rolls her eyes. “C’mon, let’s go and congratulate her or something.” She stands up.

                             “Oh, she forgot her purse, too.” Katniss looks down.

                             “Alright.” Tris sighs and follows them out to the street. “She only won because of that loud ass cousin of hers, though.”

                            “Jealous, much?” Rosalie shoves Tris’ arm. “Anyways, I think she knows that and that’s why she’s upset. But she definitely would have won even without that if her cousin hadn’t entered, so it’s not like she’s not practically the best anyways.”

                             “Wouldn’t it be awesome if she was scouted and got famous and then we could tell everyone she got her start because we invited her to karaoke? Hey maybe we can get her to audition for that show.” Katniss gasps, grabbing Tris’s arm, as she’s the closest.

                             “Does it look like she liked being in the spotlight like that?” Tris looks around. Which way did they go? Well, She said they passed her house about half way from the school, so, probably back in that direction. 

                              “I don’t care!” They hear around the corner by the bus stop. “I didn’t want to compete, I didn’t want to sing and I didn’t want to have you hand me the victory. I just wanted to go out and have fun and make some actual friends. Some normal people I’m not related to friends. But how can I do that when hurricane Michelle crashes in and just takes over everything all the time!”

                               “I didn’t even know you were going be here, Abby, and how exactly did I stop you from doing any of that?” Shelly protests. 

                               “You… Just… Just leave me alone! Stop talking to me and following me and protecting me and making decisions for me. If you happen to be in the same place I am and see me, pretend you don’t know me. I don’t want to be around you anymore, Michele. I left the school to get AWAY from you! I HATE you!”

                                “Owch.” Tris hisses. They all hold their breath waiting for the silence to break. The senior, Alice runs past them with a large bag full of… nothing. The girls quickly pretend to be waiting for the bus. 

                                “Damnit, Shelly, will you please take your damn invisible dog? She’s heavy and getting restless.” 

                               “What on earth?” Rosalie looks back.

                               “Well, she said her family’s crazy.” Tris shakes her head.

                               “I didn’t think she meant it literally. C’mon. They’re not yelling anymore, I think her cousin and that other girl left.” Katniss heads around the corner. Shelly’s there just standing all alone holding the bag. “Aw man, what did she catch a cab?”

                               “I hope not, seeing as you have her purse.”

                               “Should we give it to her cousin?” Katniss whispers.

                               “Well, maybe, I… what the hell? How can such a loud bright girl be so fast and quiet.” Tris gives an exasperated sigh as Shelly is now gone completely. “How do we…”

                               “I don’t know…”

                               “Call her.”

                               “Does she even have her phone?”

                               “Yeah,. she put it in her pocket. But we don’t have her number.”

                               “Well, shit.”

                               “Yeah. Well, we can just bring it to school with us tomorrow and give it to her then.” 

                               “Those Eeyore pictures were the cutest damn thing though.” Rosalie confesses.

                               “Oh god yes.” Tris agrees. “That poor, poor child. We’ve got to rescue her, seriously. Let’s invite her to the next sleepover at your place Kat, mine is insane.”

                              “Yeah, and I somehow managed to have the only overtly racist grandfather left in the world living in my house, so, yeah.” Rosalie scrunches her nose.

                              “Is that why you never invite us over?” Tibetian Katniss, and South Indian Tris look to the Japanese Rosalie, who just winces and nods.

                              “Trust me, it’s for the best.”

                              “Huh, I thought you were just embarrassed because he was senile and walks around without his shirt on half the time.”

                              “Well, that, too.”


	5. A song for the broken hearted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly's broken heart  
> Abigail has difficulty fitting freinds into a life with the family business  
> The twins are not very responsible.

                “The bunker’s quiet.” Dean sits down at the table is next to his brother. “And I see there’s actually ice cream cake left. So... Shelly’s off at a sleep over?”

                “No.” Sam sighs. His brother blinks at him.

                “Is… is she dead?”

                “No. I don’t think so.I’m pretty sure she couldn’t keep me out of her room so effectively if she was dead.” Sam rubs his eyes.  “I’m waiting for her mother to get back from the abyss so she can try and talk to her.”

                “Dude, I can’t even tell she’s here. I think this is a little too serious for that. If she won’t let you in or speak to you or whatever she sure as hell won’t open up to her mother.”

                “What do you suggest?”

                “Hell if I know. She’s as psycho as her mom.” Dean takes a bite of ice cream cake, ignoring the glare from his brother. “ I love her, don’t get me wrong but seriously she’s her mother’s daughter no question.”

                “Not as much as I’d like.” Sam covers his face. “i don’t want to call him, but she doesn’t want to talk to me even a little. She skipped school completely on friday....”

                 “That’s nothing new.”

                 “That she missed a test is.”

                 “You know, if she wasn’t so damn tall I wouldn’t even believe she’s yours half the time.”

                 “I should probably call someone.” Sam taps his fork on the plate.

                 “Want me to try to talk to her?”

                 “You can.” He says carefully.

                 “Any limits?”

                 “Limits.”

                 “On what I can do to get her out of her room.”

                 “No sex drugs or illegal activities, and if you piss her off I’m not intervening for anything less than physical violence.”

                 “Dude…” Dean looks a bit offended.

                 “You asked for the limits, I’m telling you the limits.” Sam shakes his head. “You know she can kick your butt every bit as easy as her mother can. You should go easy on that, you’re starting to get a little pudgy.” Sam pats his brother’s belly as he gets up to get some more ice cream cake.

                 “Where is the old ball and chain anyways?”

                 “With the fledgelings. It’s her turn. maybe Michael you’ll be able to… no.. I don’t want to call him.” He shakes his head.

                  “Then don’t. Alright. I’ll be back.” Dean takes his bowl and heads down the hall to Shelly’s room. “Hey, junior trickster.” He leans against the wall. “If you want any more ice cream cake you’d better hurry before I eat it all.” There’s no response. “Hey. Shelly-girl.” He raps on the door. “Your dad’s getting worried. He’s thinking of calling your uncle so really you’d better be dead or dying or pregnant or something that bad because he’s not going to forgive you if he asks that angel for help and you’re fine.”

                  “I am fine. Just leave me alone. Tell him I just want to be left alone, okay?”

                   “C’mon, kid. You know that’s not going to be good enough.”

                    “Well it’s going to have to be!”

                   “Alright, then I’m just giving you the heads up. I’m eating the rest of the ice cream cake.” He warns her.

                   “FINE! I don’t CARE!” The reply is followed by pure silence. Well, that’s not good.

                    “Shelly? Michelle?” He knocks again. There’s no response. Dean gives a sigh and take out his phone, quickly texting his brother in law. Definitely time to bring in the big guns, but he’ll be damned if he makes Sam make the call.

 

                    “Seriously?” Luci looks at his phone. “What is this?  National teenage girl drama week?” He sighs and texts back that he’s on his way. Not that he’s going unprepared. “Riley, Chris, I have to go see your cousin, so you’re going over with your other cousin until your mom gets back, because I don’t trust you here alone. C’mon.” He grabs the controllers and turns off the tv. “Across the hall. Move it.” The twins groan and get up off the oversized bean bag.

                      “Can I help you?” Abigail asks coolly as her uncle ushers the twins into the apartment.

                      “Yes, apparently Shelly’s having a crisis and my presence has been requested.” Luci stops as he notices the surprisingly cold and unsympathetic look on Abigail’s face. “So, I need you to keep an eye on the twins until their mother or I get back.”

                      “Fine.” Is the curt reply, and Abigail turns back to her homework.

                      “Do you know why she’s having a crisis? One big enough that the Winchesters actually asked me to come?” He leans against the side of the desk.

                      “Because she’s a self centered drama queen with no real consideration for other people?”

                      “Alright, what happened?” Luci moves the laptop aside and sits on the desk. “C’mon, spill.”

                      “Just Michelle being Michelle. If you’ll excuse me, I have homework.” She doesn’t even look up at her uncle who just raises an eyebrow at her and looks at her silently for a few minutes. But it becomes clear that Abigail’s not going to say anything else.;

                     “Alright. I guess I’ll just have to go into this blind.” Luci stands up. Abigail still doesn’t volunteer anything. She is seriously pissed and clearly thinks that her uncle won’t understand or will take Shelly’s side, which kind of says a lot in itself. “If the twins don’t behave, punish them as you see fit.” The two look a little concerned at this. Abigail tends to get creative, much like when their father gets pissed off. So they just stand still as their dad leaves the apartment and heads down to the portal to the bunker.

                      “Watch what you want, eat what you want, but don’t talk to me. I’m not in the mood.” Abigail informs them. The twins just sit on the couch and whisper to each other. She ignores them, but of course in less than ten minutes, someone’s buzzing at the door downstairs.

                       “Hunting or hunted?” Riley presses the intercom by the door.

                       “Riley.” Abigail snaps, and goes over to it. ”This is the Celestial Shelter. How may I help you?”

                       “Um, hello? Does Abigail…” A girl starts.

                       “Jones,” Another one whispers loudly.

                       “Does Abigail Jones live here?”

                        “Yes, speaking. Hold on. I’ll be right down.” Abigail responds taking her finger off the intercom button. “Don’t. Touch. Anything.” She glares at the twins and heads down to the lobby. What are Kat and Tris doing here? Is Rosalie with them? How did they know where she lived? The door sticks slightly. She’ll have to call Grandpa Nick again. Why does blessed wood always swell? “Hi.”

                        “Hey,” Kat gives a little wave.

                        “You forgot your purse at the bar.” Tris holds her purse up. “We were going to give it to you at school, but…”

                        “Oooooo. You went to a barrrr” Abigail looks back to see Chris shaking his head at her with Rley tskingher. What did they fly down the stairs? Sometime’s she’s not sure they’re actually human.

                        “Are you going to invite us in?” Tris looks into the lobby. It looks like a four star hotel, and the tile work is just amazing.

                        “I… don’t know if I should…”

                        “Yeah, come in.” The twins yank the door out of Abby’s hands and hold it open. ”We’ll make it a party.”

                        “No one’s here.” Abigail frowns at them. “Just… go back upstairs and order a pizza. I’ll be back inside in a moment.” She pushes them back and goes out into the alley, closing the door behind her. “Thank you. I’m sorry, but the rules are extremely strict about who can come in and who can’t.” She apologizes, looking down.

                        “You’re a good girl, aren’t you?”Tris rolls her eyes.

                        “I understand the reasons for the rules and agree with them.” Abigail asserts firmly, tightening her lips. “So I follow them.”

                        “We thought your parents weren’t that strict that’s all.” Katniss shoves Tris a little.

                        “They trust me and don’t make arbitrary rules for the sake of making rules but the rules they do make need to be followed. I’m sorry about thursday.”

                        “Yeah, well, I mean, we’ve all had those days.” Kat reassures her. “Those your other cousins? The’re adorable. Are they boys or girls?”

                         “They’re whatever they feel like at the moment.” She shrugs.

                         “Oh, for god’s sake, Kat.” Abiigail hears Rosalie mutter next to the door way.

                         “We didn’t mean to intrude. We were just a little worried. You didn’t come to school friday.”

                          “Oh, well, I just...needed a day.” She confesses, awkwardly smoothing her hair back behind her ears.

                           “And your parents just let you stay home?”

                           “Yes. Well, mom’s visiting her sister in norway, and abba’s taking extra shifts at the hospital, so..” She confesses.

                           “Not such a good girl after all.” Tris grins, and winks at her.

                           “No, I am allowed a few mental health days, I just had my uncle call me out, that’s all.”

                           “Come on let us up. We won’t break anything.” Kat wheedles.

                           “I can’t. I have to watch the twins and I’m not supposed to call abba unless it’s an emergency. And this isn’t.”

                           “Alright, well, I guess we’ll see you in school monday?”

                           “Yes, I’ll come in, and thank you for bringing my purse back. Maybe some other time? With a little more notice.”

                           “Yeah. Sure. C’mon, let’s go.” Rosalie straightens up and starts off.

                           “See you in school.” Kat waves.

                            “See ya.” Tris pulls Kat back up the alley with her.

                            “Bye.” Abigail sighs. They were disappointed. and they brought her purse back. But she can’t let just anyone into the shelter. Nothing would be more horrible than initiating civilians into the supernatural shitstorm that is her life. She shouldn’t be making friends at all if she’s honest. Abigail lifts her head as she hears an oddly familiar scream further down the alley.

                            She looks to the side and sees a goat tied to the dumpster. Why is there a goat…. Is someone going to sacrifice a young goat? Where did it come from? She absolutely should not go and check it out. She’s human and only has a multimetal keychain and some holy water to defend herself with. The goat screams again and craps on the pavement. She does have to wait for the pizza, but she can do that inside.

                            Abigail quickly goes back inside and goes to her mother’s office to watch the security camera. The goat just stands there, eating trash off the ground around the dumpster crapping and occasionally screaming. No one comes or even investigates which is odd in itself. Where’s the pizza man? Goat’s shouldn’t actually eat garbage. They shouldn’t… but they don’t have any goat feed. Do they? What did Uncle Sam do with it when his goat died. Why did he even have a goat?

                         A cute very dark skinned pizza man pauses in the alley, and looks over at the goat, tilting his head and starts to go towards it.

                         “No, no, no!” Abigail rushes out and grabs his arm, pulling him back.

                         “What is there some sort of a trap?”He looks down at her a bit amused.

                         “Maybe. Here. Um, thirty right? Keep the change.” She puts the money in his hand and takes the pizza.

                         “Is that your goat? Are you hunting lions?” He grins.

                         “No, I don’t know who’s it is. Just… better to say away.” Abigail leads him towards the main street. “Thank you for your prompt deliver… where’s your car?”

                         “My car!” The delivery man puts his hands to his head. “My deliveries! Please, may I use your phone?”

                         “Um, sure, I left it inside. Hold on.” Abigail turns and heads back towards the entrance. The goat is still in the alley.

 

                         “Hi, Dad.” The twins greet him as Luci opens the door to his brother’s apartment. They’re watching a horror film while feeding a small goat popcorn and pizza crusts.

                         “Where’s your cousin?” Luci frowns, looking at the animal.

                         “Well, we think she was turned into a goat.” Riley pats the goat’s head.

                         “That or she ditched us to go hang with her friends and we just stole some random person’s goat from the alley.” Chris snickers. “But you know, knowing Abigail, it’s more likely she was turned into a goat.”

                          “Are you kidding me? You think your cousin was turned into a goat and you didn’t tell anybody?” Luci puts a hand on his hip and covers his eyes with the other.

                          “We like her better this way.” Riley shrugs. “And she’s fine. She’s eating, she’s drinking.”

                          “She’s wearing culottes.”

                          “Yeah, we didn’t think she’d appreciate being left naked.”

                          “How did you even… okay,” He takes out his phone and texts his little brother.

                           “What exactly do you mean Abigail has been turned into a goat?” Raphael appears in the apartment.

                          “Children?” Luci looks to the twins.

                           “Um, her friends came to return her purse and she had us go back up and order a pizza which never came so we called and they said it was delivered and paid for, so we went down and saw the pizza on the door step and the goat in the alley. So you know, naturally we assumed…” Both the twins shrug.

                           “When was this?” Raphael demands.

                           “Um, around noon?” Riley rubs the back of his neck.

                           “Why?”

                           “Because that is not my daughter. That is just a goat. And that means that whatever has happened to my daughter happened hours ago and you did not inform anyone.” He looks at them angrily. “If any harm has come to her rest assured your parents and I will be discussing this with you further.”

                           “We’re sorry.” The two are instantly subdued and regretful. ‘But she’s fighting with Shelly so we just kind of assumed…”

                           “It wasn’t Shelly. I left you with Abigail because I had to go talk to Shelly. She’s been deeply depressed because Abigail said she hated her and to leave her alone.” Luci informs his brother.

                           “She what?’ Raphael looks shocked. More surprising than Abigail’s inevitable loss of temper with her cousin, though is the fact that she didn’t tell him about it.

                           “Yeah, that’s why Abigail skipped school on friday.”

                           “Children.” Luci snaps before they can say anything more. “Go take that damn goat to your uncle’s bunker and inform them as to the situation. Now.” Luci points to the door.

                           “Yes, dad.” They take the goat and lead it to the elevator and the portal in the basement.

                           “I am going to search for her. Stay here in case she returns.” Raphael disappears. He must be worried given he actually seems to expect his older brother to just do what he’s told to do. Of course seeing as it’s what he planned to do anyways…. Luci sends a mass text to Alex Michael and Gabriel, including Shelly just in case. If this wasn’t get her out of her room nothing will.

                           “What?” Shelly bursts into the apartment in an instant. “What happened to my precious little Abby-gail?”

                           “We don’t know. Sit down. What do you intend to do?” Luci points to the couch.

                           “I’m going to track her the fuck down that’s what I’m going to do.” Shelly walks into Abigail’s room and grabs one of her shoes. “Alright, George. You need to find this human.”  She kneels down and takes something out of her pure, placing it next to the shoe. After a second the other shoe gloats out to her. “You’re killing me, George.”

                           “You have to train hellhounds, Shelly-girl.” Luci informs her. “What on earth have you been feeding that thing? She smells like cotton candy.”

                           “Um, sweets and tiny pieces of my soul? Not a lot just enough to regenerate after a day or so. No chocolate, though, just in case.”

                           “Oh for…. okay. First. Don’t do that. Secondly I’ll tell you a little trick. Instead of your soul, feed it a bit of your face. You’ll be able to communicate with it better. I didn’t think of feeding it actual food though. That pretty effectively took care of the smell.” Luci looks impressed, and breaks into a grin. His niece snuck a hellhound pup into the bunker. She took it as hard as Abigail did when Courage died of old age. Honestly, their first big fight was when Shelly tried to buy Abigail a new puppy. Things just kept getting worse after that.

                          Granted, Abigail had already been starting to chafe under her cousins constant overbearing protectiveness. In truth, though, she loves her cousin, has always looked up to her and admired her, but there’s probably not a little bit of resentment and jealousy and feelings of inadequacy, and Luci can sympathise with all of that. He’d felt the same way about Michael sometimes. It’s especially difficult when Michael has her grace and he doesn’t. It’s probably the only conflict between the two where he’s unquestionably on Abigail’s side and not Shelly’s. Not that he can let them know that.

                          “Can you show me how to do that?”

                          “Alright. But not too much. You don’t need a full grown hell hound on your hand before she’s fully trained.” Luci kneels down and holds his hand out to where the pup must be. “You’ll have to be strict.They’re fiercely devoted but aggressive especially in defense of their masters. They tend to get carried away, even without encouragement. They’re the bite first bark later sort. But this ones just a widdle ting, so don’t let her get too far from you. She could get hurt.”

                         “The grace thing? So I can get her to track Abby?” Shelly looks at her uncle anxiously.

                          “Right. There’s got to be a needle here somewhere.” Luci stands up and heads off to find the first aid kit.

                          


	6. The sins of the Auntie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail develops a fear of spiders.  
> Shelly to the rescue.  
> Sam puts his foot down.

                           “Good Morning.” Abigail is greeted as she opens her eyes. It’s hot and definitely not early fall in South Dakota. “Welcome to your new home.” Is that a Jamaican accent? Is she in Jamaica?

                           “Good morning.”She looks at the beautiful black woman before her. She looks like a woman who has long since run out of patience for just about everything. A friend of her Aunt Bree’s maybe? Well, not freind. Someone who knew her at least. She can’t tell if she’s supernatural or human, but either way it’s best to stay polite.  “I’m sorry but I’m afraid I don’t know what’s going on. Where am I? And who are you?” 

                           “You are in your new and this is no time to lay in bed. Come. We must prepare you for the wedding.” The woman nods to the girl who’s not entirely sure she likes the sound of that.

                           “Who’s getting married?” Abigail slowly gets to her feet.

                           “My brother in law.” She takes Abigail by the wrist and pulls her out to a large bathroom. “He will make a fine husband.”

                            “I can wash myself.” Abigail grabs hold of her shirt as the woman goes to take it off her.

                           “Nonsense.” She smacks her wrist. “You will neither exhert yourself or be left to your own devices. You’re as bashful as your mother. Let us hope you have more sense and better taste.” 

                           “You… you know my mother?” The woman doesn’t answer and simply doubles down on her efforts. Abigail doesn’t let go despite her surprise. Unfortunately it doesn’t make a difference in the slightest .  she is handily stripped and tossed into the tub of hot water. As she’s scrubbed without mercy, she prays her heart out, calling for her father, aunts, uncles anyone who can hear her.  The woman is about as gentle with Abigail’s hair as she is with everything else, making her swallow curses and her hair is pulled and braided and twisted around her head in an ornate crown of hair.  Abigail feels incredibly ashamed of herself for wishing there was a mirror so she can see it when it’s done.

                             “Now, behave yourself. And close your eyes.” The woman scolds as she finishes and puts a silk slip over Abigail’s head, finally giving her some covering. “Or not, suit yourself.” She clucks and shakes her head as Abigail keeps her eyes wide open. The lack of insistence makes her uneasy and she looks down to see a swarm of spiders coming up from between the tiles at her feet, quickly covering her from head to toe. Only the fact that opening her mouth might let some go inside it keeps her from screaming out loud. Though she’s sure her mental shriek reaches all of heaven and then some. After a moment they’re gone. When she makes certain she’s not going to either faint or throw up, she notices the beautiful white dress left behind, all lace and silk and even some fresh flowers woven into the hem line and waist. 

                           “I am not getting married! I… I can’t I’m thirteen!” She protests, panic overwhelming her.

                           “You are a woman, yes?’

                           “NO! I’m… I’m a girl! What is wrong with you?” Abigail tries to take the dress off but it’s woven directly onto her body and won’t pull off.

                           “I wouldn’t not recommend that.” The woman crosses her arms as Abigail pulls at it hard enough to tear a thinner woven lace pattern. 

                          “I am NOT marrying ANYONE!” She yells and freezes as several more spiders emerge from nowhere to repair the damage. “Oh… oh keep them off me!”

                           “Now be reasonable. The bill has come due and you must do as you are obliged to do. Do you wish to shame your family? Break a sacred bargain? No more nonsense. Come." She waves Abigail.

                           “Forgive me if I don’t just take your word for it, but I don’t believe for a second that my family would ever make any sort of bargain that married me off without my knowledge or consent, especially not when I’m only thirteen! And they’d be far more ashamed of me for falling for such an obvious lie than by my demanding proof. Now tell me the truth, with proof or let me go!”

                          “More nonsense. You are in no position to make any such demands. Now you may come on your own two feet or you will be carried.” The spiders start to form a ring around her feet. Why hasn’t anyone come for her? Can’t they hear her? Can’t they find her? She’ll have to stall or… or something.

                          “I’ll walk.” Abigail says meekly, lowering her head and slowly follows the woman.

                          “Is this Abigail?” A dark skinned beautiful woman clasps her hands, as they enter a sort of large open living room with a depressed center with carved sofa’s and love seats. The entire room is open and minimalist except of course for the gems decorating the walls. “You are precious and those hips, you will bear many children, many sons. It is good.” She nods approvingly.

                          “Abigail, may I introduce you to your mother in law.” And still no names.

                          “Good Morning.” Abigail curtsies politely. if they won’t give names then they must expect her or her family to know who they are. Of course if they knew her mother… But they clearly aren’t vampires. Still polite and freindly, always better to be polite and freindly. “I’m very sorry, but I won’t be able to marry your son today. I am far too young and beside which I can’t possibly get married without my family present.”  True, and even if they go bring some of her family here, there’s not a single member that couldn’t absolutely destroy them. And that includes the twins, though it woudn’t be intentional.

                         “Such a sweet, thoughtful child. Have no worries, young one, you will not be required to bear children as of yet. We simply do not wish to be cheated of a bride yet again. Once you are of proper age to do so we will celebrate with your family. But today we are simply ensuring we have what we have already paid for.” The woman examines her, pursing her lips. “You are human.” She sounds disappointed, much as Abigail often is. “Ah, well, your familial connections make up for it. Let us hope you are a better housekeeper than your mother, hmmm?”

                        “How do you know my mother?”

                        “In due time, daughter.” She takes and pats Abigail’s hand. “Come, we are gathered in the garden.” The woman strides out of the room to a luscious food and flower filled garden that just takes Abigail’s breath away. The woman gives a small proud smile as she notices Abigail slow to brush her hand over the velvety flowers nearest her. “You will have plenty of time to see my garden afterwards.” She sounds more pleased than annoyed though, much to Abigail’s relief. An earth goddess maybe? “Ah, my other daughter to be.” Her tone turns decidedly less friendly, as they near a beautiful egyptian woman lounging on a bench under a flowering tree. She reminds Abigail almost of a lazy cat in the shade. “May I introduce you to Abigail, your future sister in law. Abigail this is a fickle woman.  She has yet to decide between my sons. Hopefully she will reach a decision before you are married.”

                        “You wish me to compete with this...mortal infant? She reeks of grace. Do we really want angels brought into this?” She wrinkles her nose, giving Abigail a disdainful not quite hostile look.

                         “Not at all. My sons are more than capable of taking care of two wives if need be. But one will be wed today, regardless. Where are those boys? Children!” The mother claps her hands.

                         “Why should she have to choose between them?” Abigail asks as her future mother in law walks off into the garden. “You’re probably equally capable of supporting more than one spouse, I assume.” She looks to the lounging woman who gives a curt grin. “I didn’t mean…”

                         “I know what you meant. I do not… ‘support’ men. If a man wants me he is the one required to prove himself. ”

                         “No, of course, I just meant… in terms of equality… not…”

                         “Do not lower me to the status of a man. I have yet to meet my equal.” She scoffs. The other woman gives an odd tsk and sigh at this, earning a look from the lounger.

                         “I’m sorry. Please… I don’t want to marry. Not anyone. Please help me.” Abigail begs putting her hands together. The lady just raises an eyebrow. “Please?”

                         “You would reject a god? What exactly are you holding out for you mortal pipsqueak?”

                         “I’m not… I’m not worthy of a god’s attention. To even think of being wed to one would be utter blasphemy.” Abigail tries again.

                          “It is not up to the mortals to decide what constitutes blasphemy. But relax yourself They are both fine young men, excellent lovers.” She’s interrupted by a reproachful noise by the other woman. “It’s near impossible to choose, like having to pick a cat or a dog. One is of course perfect and clever and independent and just ideal in every way, but the other is much more easily controlled and pliable and loyal. A disgrace of an animal but perfect for a husband. I wonder who you shall get.” The woman lays back again, ignoring Abigail. 

                        Of course a pagan goddess be helpful, as she clearly is one. Where is everyone? She looks around desperately describing everything she can and everyone. Though the other two women are the only ones here. Why hasn’t anyone come to save her? Why?

                        Two very handsome young men walk in with the delivery boy and the mother. One look very happy and winks at the woman lying down, who smiles back at him before giving a slightly different look to the other man as well. She says something Abigail can’t understand,but the look in the goddesses eye and tone of her voice makes her blood curdle.

                       “That is of course, your choice entirely.” The smiley one bows. “Is this Abigail?” He turns to her, he has his mother’s rich complexion and bright white teeth. Adorable, truly every bit as much a beauty as her mother.”

                       “She’s a child.” The other one says testily. “What game is this, Nanzi?”

                       “She is physically a woman.” The delivery boy protests. “You know if we wait much longer, they will find a way to weasel out of it. It’s not as if you would have objected to this two hundred years ago.”

                        “As you are so fond of reminding us, times change. But may I remind you two hundred years ago I very much objected and am glad that lovers of children are now viewed as the pathetic misbegotten creatures they are.” He crosses his arms, and looks away.

                        “Please. I don’t want to get married. I’m not ready to get married.” Abigail begs him.

                        “Yes, well, our parents never much consider what we want, do they?” He scowls and walks to a father corner to sulk.

                        “But…” Abigail continues. 

                        “Shush.” The delivery boy puts a finger to his lips and she finds herself unable to speak further.

                        “Children.” Their mother speaks primly. “It is time to stop all this foolishness. A decision must be made. Which of you will take this woman?” Much to Abigail’s distress, their mother clearly motions to her and not the other one. If only she knew what to say. There’s an opening here, a crack to exploit, if only she knew what it was or what to say or how to say it. Something even a human could do and she doesn’t know what to do.

                       “The original Agreement was for Bia’s suit. Bia shall have her.” The sulky one says not looking back.

                       “Very well, I gladly accept.” The happy one steps forwards without hesitation, and takes Abigail’s hand.

                       “I beg your pardon!” The other woman sits up, clearly offended beyond all reason. “Very well, then. I see who truly loves me.”

                       “Alas, I love my brother more.” The happy one puts a hand to his chest and gives his goddess an apologetic bow. 

                       “I don’t need your hand me downs!” The other storms out of the garden.

                       “I am very sorry, but it is true. I am the one the deal was made with.” The happy one comes closer and kisses her cheek. The look from the goddess makes her fear for her life. “There is no need to be afraid my lovely bride. I will treat you gently and with great kindness.”

                        Since she can’t speak, all Abigail can do is shake her head and keep praying for her father to come and save her. They can’t do this. There are treaties and bargains and agreements and consequences. There are deals made between heaven and earth. They can’t break them. They can’t do this. Is… is this their way of declaring war? This can’t be happening.

                        The start speaking in solemn words she can’t understand and the delivery boy places a hand over each of theirs, bringing them together.

                         “AHH!” The happy man, Bia, jumps back looking down to his suddenly bleeding ankle. But there’s nothing there, there’s just a… a small growl and the smell of cotton candy. 

                        “THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?” Abigail turns to see Shelly burst through the veil, sending Bia into the delivery boy with a flying kick to the face. She’s been practicing using her wings in a fight, it seems. “Get AWAY from my cousin before I smash your teeth in. Again.” She amends herself as Bia spits out a molar, and positions herself in between Abigail and the gods. Abigail forces herself not to grab onto her cousin as tightly as she can.

                       “I suggest you be the one to get away from my daughter in law.” Bia’s mother states cooly, pulling Abigail back away from Shelly.

                       “The hell did you just say?” Shelly turns slowly around, blade in hand. “George. C’mere. C’mere my good girl. Here you go. Go take care of Abby. Go one.” She bends and picks something up from the ground, giving it a kiss before wrapping a scarf around it and tossing the bundle over to Abigail who catches it. She got in invisible dog? Micelle draws her blade and manifests her wings, still very small, but bright, her eyes glowing with grace.

                        “This child belongs to us.” Bia’s mother states firmly.

                        “This woman belongs to her own damn self and if that’s not good enough,bitch, fucking fight me!” Shelly points her blade at the woman, who shoves Abigail aside.

                        “You disrespectful little…” The insult is interrupted by the sound of hundreds of plants breaking the earth and sliding against each other towards the center, entangling Michelle. When they burst into flame, Abigail is scooped up by her groom and carried to safety.

                         “My apologies, my wife. This did not go as expected.” He ignores her attempts to push him away, and the invisible puppy’s attempts to nip at his chest and arm, but it’s so little it can’t get through the leather. “It is my fault, for relying on his better na…” They fall in a heap as a lioness appears, tackling Bia to the ground. “Bastet, my dearest, please, let me explain.” Bia attempts to fend her off, but resigns himself to covering Abigail with his body protecting her from the careless blows of it’s claws.

 

                        Shelly coughs and brushes off the ashes. That wasn’t very well thought out. She should have just snatches her Abby-girl back and zipped off through the either. But noooo she loses her temper and tries to go biblical on their asses. 

                         “Shelly, are you alright?” Oh, no, her mother’s here. 

                         “Uh, yeah, fine. I’m fine. Just, um, shit!” Shelly runs towards the charred building to see Abigail held tightly in her father’s arms in a soot stained white dress. Aunt  Miqa is holding the man who was with her by the throat. The poor guy’s all clawed up somehow. Good. “Is… is she okay?” Shelly asks as her mother catches up to her.

                         “She’s unharmed.” Her father replies and glances over at his little sister as angry as he’s ever seen him.

                         “Gabriel.” Michael looks at her as well. “Tell me that this is not the truth.”

                         “It’s not the truth.” Shelly’s mother says quickly. “Why? What did he say?”

                         “That Bia purchased Abigail from you for a goat.”

                         “THE FUCK MOM!” Shelly turns back to her.

                         “No that’s not true! He purchased courtship privileges to Raph for a goat. When Raphael was wearing a girl. It definitely wasn’t a sale, and in no way translated to selling Abigail!”

                          “It’s moot as we are already wed.”

                          “If you dare continue to insist up on that, then she will soon be widowed!” Raphael snaps. “I am taking my daughter home. You WILL rectify this situation, Gabriel. And if you ever come near my daughter again, I will not be held responsible for my action.”

                          “Shelly, go with them.” Her mother pushes her over to them.

                          “What? No! I deserve to know that’s going on in regards to MY human!”

                          “You deserve to be grounded for life!” Her mother snaps, “You don’t engage pagan gods in battle. You know that! You could have been killed. When something like this happens and you find them before we do, you CALL for us. Do you understand me? Now GO HOME.”

                           “I have to find George first.” Shelly quickly holds her hands up as her mother goes to snap her fingers, and looks around the hall. “Oh please tell me Uncle Raph didn’t kill her.” 

                           “Who’s George? Did you bring someone else into this mess?”

                           “George… Georgie girl.” Shelly whistles. “Here, girl. It’s okay. C’mere. C’mere, George. Awww, that’s my good girl.” She kneels down and urges her puppy to come forwards. The scared thing inches forward, half limping giving frightened little whimpers as she looks to the remaining archangels. “I know, they’re so bright. It’s okay. It’s okay, baby.” She picks her up and puts her in the purse, covering her with another handkerchief. “There we go. Better? Yes, that’s my good girl.”

                         Michael just gives Gabriel a steady incredulous look as she covers her eyes.

                         “Okay, Yeah, I’m going to let her father deal with this one.” She sighs and snaps her daughter back home without a second thought. “Now,Bia… What the fuck do you think you’re trying to pull? I never took you for an ephebophile. Or an absolute fucking idiot.”

 

                         Sam looks at his scowling daughter, more specifically the words flashing above her head. ‘I have a hellhound puppy in my purse. Her name is George,’

                         “Michelle.” He takes a deep breath.

                         “Yes, daddy?” She smiles brightly.

                         “Where did you get a hellhound puppy?”

                         “She followed me home, can I keep her?” Shelly gives him an adorable innocent look that much to her dismay has no effect on him.

                         “Hellhounds are not pets, Michelle. I know we have had this discussion. Many times. Now send it back!”

                         “You do realize this wittle cutie is the only reason I was able to find Abigail before something really bad happened to her, right? When none of you guys could. That’s pretty damn ungrateful of you to send her back to that awful place, just because you have some irrational prejudice against dogs.” She holds the invisible pup, protectively to her chest.

                         “Don’t you give me that bull, Michelle. That is a dangerous supernatural creature!”

                         “Yeah well so’s mom and you got to keep her.” Michelle’s retort elicits a snort of laughter from the couch.

                         “Shut up, Dean!” Sam points to it. ”Michelle. Send. It. Back. NOW.”

                         “FINE!” She yells back and disappears into the ether.  

                         “This isn’t funny, Dean.” He turns on his brother who’s still chuckling as he lays on the couch.  

                         “What was that curse? May you one day have a child exactly like you?” Dean crosses the arm not in a cast, across his chest.

                         “Excuse me?” Sam looks down at him, his hands on his hips.

                         “Oh come on, what with your affinity for dogs and supernatural beings, I’m more surprised that you never tried to adopt a hellhound at some point. I mean, as much as I’d like to blame her mother for this mess, this one is all you Sam-a-lamb.”

                         “Shove it, Dean-bean.”

                         “Honestly, I’m just waiting for the day she runs away from home. and are you sure it was a hellhound? It didn’t smell like one.”

                          “I’m sure her mother would be sure.” Sam shoves his brother’s legs aside and sits down on the couch. “And she’s not going to run away. She has no reason to.”

                         “She really did have a point though. If that thing helped her find Abigail, maybe it could be useful. Who knows maybe you can train a hellhound not to be evil. You know like pitbulls. Maybe they’re really just mindlessly loyal.”

                          “And aggressive, and murdered you?”

                          “Well, so did your wife and you’re keeping her.” Dean puts his legs back up over his brother’s lap. “Look, I don’t know why you of all people are taking such a hard line on this.”

                          “I don’t think forbidding hellhounds as pets is such an unreasonable line to draw, Dean. I try to be understanding about a lot of things, her uncle not the least of them, but I am her father, not her friend and I have to put my foot down about some things.”

                          “Yeah, I know. You’d think you’d put your foot down about school, though. Or, you know, use the puppy as leverage to make her go regularly and do all her assignments.”

                          “That would be kind of excessively cruel, and she does learn what she needs to learn and it’s not as if when she skips she’s off wandering around. She’s either training or with Alice or baking.” Sam says. When Shelly’s stressed she snacks and when she’s really stressed she makes her snacks.

                           “Or checking up on AJ. She was totally in the right about that football player, too. There’s no way he just wanted to tutor her.”

                          “He wanted her to tutor him and her name is Abigail. Nobody calls her AJ.” Sam chides her.

                           “I do. And she doesn’t mind it.’

                           “She does she’s just too polite to object. She is fine by the way. Raph let me know, she’s unharmed. “

                           “Thanks to that little hellhound tracking her down in time.”

                           “Are you seriously suggesting that I should have let her keep it? A hell hound. You.”

                          “I guess I am. I wouldn’t be if she hadn’t found her cousin with it. Not just because of what it did, but because she’s clearly good enough at handling it to make a hellhound pup small enough to fit in her friggin purse successfully track down a specific soul. If anyone can train one up to be a hunting dog, the obviously our not so little female Hagrid can. Anyways, I’m going to head on over to check on AJ. I assume her dad brought her home.”

                           “Call first. She might not be up to seeing anyone.”

                           “Dean, you have a broken arm and the impala’s a stick. Just call and have Cas take you when it’s time.”

                           “ I’m not calling Cas. I can drive my damn car just fine. I’m not a fucking invalid.” He grumbles, getting up and heads to the garage. Sam just shakes his head. Definitely not aging gracefully. Maybe when Shelly gets back he’ll ask her to help him install a few safety rails in Dean’s room and bathroom. One of those little elevator chairs for the stairs. Maybe put a rascal in his parking spot, a walker in his room. A little father daughter bonding. Then maybe he’ll see about getting her a puppy that’s not inherently evil.


	7. I'm Getting Too Old For This Shit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly sulks, and plays hookey with the king of hell.  
> Claire and Dean check in on Abigail.

                            “Back so soon?” Crowley asks as he enters the throne room to find a young nephilim curled on his throne with the puppy in her lap. 

                            “Some pagan assholes kidnapped Abigail. They said my mom sold her to them for a goat which is bullshit. She’s sell her older brothers but not Abby. So… anyways I kind of had to use Georgie girl to track her down. They had her pretty well concealed. No one could even find her at all. But George did, didn’t she? Yes she did. Not that dad cares.”

                           “So is this a return?”

                           “No, this is me cooling my heels a bit until I figure out how to get them to reconsider. Oh, I made you something.” Shelly snaps her finger and Crowley finds a bowl of raspberries oatmeal and whipped cream in his hand. Along with a spoon. “It’s Cranachan.”

                          “So, I see.” He takes a bite. “You even used the proper scottish whiskey.

                          “Of course. So, how is it? Just like mother used to make?” She smiles expectantly.

                           “Mother did not cook. But it is delicious. Thanks you. And what may i ask is this epicurian bribe for?” He enjoys it.

                           “Not a bribe. Just in return for the Turkish delight. That’s all. So how are you?” She continues to snuggle her puppy, not making a pretense of moving off his throne.

                           “As well as can be expected. Would you care of a more comfortable seat?”

                           “Nah, I’m good.”  She says, then gives him a grin. “You sure you don’t need a break? You look tired and annoyed. C’mon play hookey with me. We’ll take George to the park. Ooo or maybe go to a haunted house and feed her some ghosts. How does that sound, girl? You hungry? You want some ghosts? Some yummy wummy ghosties?”

                           “You want to feed her… ghosts.”

                           “Why not? They’re souls, right? And she’ll just poop em out into the abyss afterwards like the other souls she eats. So you know.” Shelly shrugs.

                           “Poop them out into the abyss?” He leans against the throne.

                           “Yesh, I asked Uncle about that. Of course he did this before the abyss was the waiting room for reincarnation, so…” She shrugs, scratching behind the puppy’s ear.

                           “I assume you’re going to do this regardless of whether or not I go with you, aren’t you?” He takes another bite of his cranachan.

                           “Of course. I’m inviting you. Not asking your permission.” She laughs at the thought.

                           “Very well. Give me a moment to finish this delicious dish and make arrangements.” he lifts the spoon.

                           “Beans!” She gives him a thumbs up and continues lounging on the throne of hell with her dog.

                           “So, sunbeam.” Crowley ventures as they walk through the abandoned asylum. “You don’t seem your usual happy self.”

                           “I don’t? Huh, weird.” She looks around the corridor.

                           “May I ask what’s troubling my little pistol?”

                           “You may.”  She responds in her most lordly manner. 

                          “Will you answer? Or continue being a little smart ass?” He raises an eyebrow at her. Shelly just snorts.

                           “Please. I passed little about six inches ago.”

                           “Michelle….”

                           “I’m just not having a good week. Everyone’s mad at me and all I’ve done is try to help. Dad’s being a hypocritical jackass. Mom is causing all kinds of trouble, and doesn’t want to deal with me. Alice is mad at me. Abigail hates me. It’s like I can’t do anything right.”

                           “Ah, I see.” Crowley not.

                           “At least with you I know where I stand.”

                           “Oh?”

                           “Yeah, you put up with me because if you hurt me, my family will kick your ass, but you won’t rat me out for coming here either, because you want to curry my favor for when I’m a bigger player in the supernatural community, and because you know it’d piss them off.”            

                          “Or, perhaps, I actually like and bear genuine affection for you.” He suggests. Shelly just laughs at this.

                          “Oh, shit. Where’d George go?” She looks around. “George? Georgie… Here girl…” Shelly whistles and heads down the hall to where she hears her whimper. “Awww, there you… woah.” She freezes, grabbing for her blade as a bed frame flies towards her. It halts mid air and is dashed against the wall to the side. “Thanks.”

                           “Slow down, poppet. Pay attention to your surroundings.”

                           “Right. Thanks. Oh, great, now the walls are bleeding.” Shelly sighs and snaps a few bandaids over the sources of the flow. “George. Georgie girl. Here, George.” She kneels down and coaxes the frightened pup out from under the table. “Honestly I should just cool my heels with you for a while. if they don’t appreciate me, they should just do without me for a while, get a little perspective.”

                           “Michelle, your family loves you very much. But they’re not going to love everything you say or do. It’s their job to tell you when you’re behaving badly or doing things wrong. But it’s not all they are either. They are flawed, complex beings the same as you and will make mistakes and occasionally be unreasonable and hypocritical. But they are good people, good parents, and good relatives over all. Bear with them a bit.” He pats her head. “And try to give them the benefit of the doubt.”                         

                            “Yeah, sure.” She rolls her eyes and heads through the halls again. He’ll give her a solar day or two before arranging for her uncle Dean to find her. That should help him get out of this relatively unscathed.

  
  


                         “How is she?” Alex asks as Claire brings her back to the apartment.

                         “Upset but unharmed.” Raphael holds onto his daughter who cried herself to sleep when they got home.

                         “Think Bree will reconsider just letting us slaughter them all without mercy?” Claire asks coldly, crossing her arms.

                          “If not I know someone who will.” Raphael replies as Alex sits them to him on the couch, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek.

                          “ Good. God, she’s so big now.” Claire looks down at her, staying back by the door.

                          “I know. I can’t believe she’s thirteen. And already having to deal with this utter bullshit.” Alex tightens her lips. 

                          “Well, she got almost twice as long as we did, at least.” Claire tries to comfort her. “So, what the hell? How did they get it into their thick heads to fucking try this bullshit?”

                          “Do you remember when they took Alex the last time?” Raphael looks up to her.

                          “What, like twenty years ago? Back when you were sporting two x chromosomes?”

                          “Yes. Gabriel bartered for Alex’s freedom by trying to trade me to Bia for a goat.” Raphael says darkly, clearly thinking of a number of unpleasant things to do to his little sister. Claire’s tempted to offer her help.

                          “No,” Alex corrects him. “She took the goat in exchange for supporting and speaking up for Bia’s courtship of you with the family. And for not interesting.”

                          “You knew about that?” Raphael looks at his wife astonished.

                          “After the fact. On the way home. Remember, we didn’t really like each other that much them. But I did still smack her when she told me. That’s the goat she gave Sam.” Alex informs Claire.

                          “The one that died this year and thus can’t be returned?” Claire asks dryly, walking over to the fridge. “Please tell me you have food.”

                          “No, we’ve been subsisting off of rocks this month.”

                          “Don’t be a smart ass. Roasted meats and veggies are fine and yeah, norwegian junk is okay, but sometimes I just want a… ooo lasagna. These things are so good they made me forget to hate you for a few minutes while I ate them.” Claire pulls them out.

                          “The twins are here and there’s still food left?” Alex raises an eyebrow. “Sure it’s not spiked with laxatives?”

                          “It’s not.” Raphael gets up and carried Abigail to her bedroom. “Excuse me. I have to make sure they get back that other one. In case they try to argue the twins bringing it inside was an acceptance. Claire?” He looks to the valkyrie.

                           “Yeah, no I got your girls. Go shove goats up asses.” She gives him a thumbs up and puts a roll in the microwave, not getting to close to the young woman.

                           “It’s okay, Claire. We know that it’s okay for you to be here like this.” Alex walks over and puts a hand on her shoulder.

                           “I know! I know. I just… feel like a zombie, that’s all.” She sighs.

                           “Oh, yeah, that eternal youth, such a buzzkill.” Alex shoves her arm. “God I’m old. I’m getting so old. I’m, like, fourty. Practically.” She covers her face. 

                           “Of course, hubby looks the same as always.” Claire scowls.

                           “That’s not a bad thing, Claire. I kind of like being the one with a hot young trophy husband.” Alex grins.

                           “Uchh.”

                           “And don’t start. This is my decision. I’m going until I wear out naturally. I know there’s a heaven and that’s where I’m going and all it’ll do is save me a commute to most of my work.” Alex pats her back. “I’m just going to keep going until the parts wear out naturally.”

                          “Alex…”

                          “If I wanted immortality I’d still be a fucking vampire, Claire. We’re not discussing this.”

                          “Yeah, well, just because you’re an old woman doesn’t mean you’re not still a selfish little brat. “ She grumbles. “Leaving me all alone with that asshole still alive.” 

                           “Oh, like Raphael and Cas won’t get you into heaven to come visit or take me to Helheim. the reapers allow temporary visits between afterlives.”

                           “They have way too much fucking power now.”

                           “Claire, you are one.”

                           “I told you.” They hear and look back to see Dean seated on the couch with his arm in a cast and sling, an irritated angel next to him. “I’m fine. I’m driving fine. You don’t need to…Dude, not cool.”

                            “Hey, Dean.” Claire waves.

                            “The impala is back at the bunker. You must accept your limitations, Dean.”

                            “My limitations.. And who the hell gets to decide what they are?”

                            “You’re not twenty anymore, Dean. If you continue to refuse to acknowledge that fact, then I will be forced to acknowledge it for you.”

                            “Dean. Abby’s sleeping. So, shush. She’s been traumatized enough, she doesn’t need to be woken by a raving old hunter.”

                            “Hello, Claire. How’s Hel?” Castiel asks as Dean gives her a dark look.

                            “Oh, you know a little dark, a little glass and as always, full of Dead people. Finally!” she grabs the plate out as the microwave dings.

                            “Wow, yeah, you had to wait a whole minute.” Alex sits down at her  desk. “So, Dean. I have a bit of a problem. I have to murder or arrange the murder of certain African gods, but unfortunately there are massive amounts of treaties preventing me from doing so. I’d be tempted to ask Luci, but that wouldn’t exactly be good for her moral development. So I think I need someone whose welfare I care absolutely nothing about to work on my behalf.”

                            “I love you too Alex, but I have to abide by these damn treaties as well.” Dean catches the beer Claire tosses him, or would have if Castiel hadn’t reached out and caught it first. “I can still catch a damn beer, Cas.”

                            “What are you senile?” Claire rolls her eyes and plops down next to him. “She’s obviously not talking about you.” 

                            “I was thinking more about an old friend of yours.”

                            “What old friend? All my old friends are dead. I don’t even think I have any new friends.” Dean makes a face and snatches the beer as Cas opens it for him. “I can open my own damn beer, too.”

                            “Well, yes, he kind of is, I guess. I’m referring to Crowley.” Alex says casually. It doesn’t work.

                            “NO!” Both Cas and Dean speak at once.

                            “I don’t plan on trading my soul, or anyone’s soul obviously, but there’s got to be something innocuous I can…”

                            “No, Alex, no. Look, I would rather hunt them down and murder them myself, to hell with the consequences.” Dean straightens up. “And I will if you so much as think about it again. Understand me?”

                            “I understand.” Alex says quietly.

                            “I don’t think you do. That asshole is nothing but trouble.”

                            “I will take care of this.” Castiel puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder.

                            “Thanks, baby.” Dean pats his hand before he vanishes.

                            “We don’t want Castiel getting in trouble either, genius.” Claire scowls at him. “How are you going to rescue him from the abyss, hobbling through with your walker and hip replacement. We don’t even know if a pacemaker will even work there..”

                             “Hey, I am in great health, with all the original parts. And he’s not going to take care of Anansi’s brothers; he’s going to make Sure Crowley doesn’t make any deals with you. Either of you. And I’m telling your husband and Hela.” He points to each in turn, ”Just to be on the safe side. So neither of you do anything stupid. Again.” Dean gives Claire a meaningful look.

                             “You’re one to talk,” She scoffs. Dean just steals the rest of her lasagna with his good hand. “Sure you can eat that old man? Those lasagna noodles can be tough on the dentures.”

                             “Excuse me?”

                             “I said THOSE NOODLES CAN BE TOUGH ON THE DENTURES!” She cups her hands around her mouth and leans closer.

                             “Listen here you little shit…”

                             “Aunt Claire? Mom?” They look over to the hall to see Abigail standing there still in her spider silk wedding gown, looking like a little fairy princess. 

                             “Abby, honey.” Alex rushes over and hugs her. “Are you alright?”

                             “I hate spiders.” She holds onto her mother. “And I don’t know how to take this off without tearing it.”

                             “You... want to keep it?” Claire asks carefully.

                             “No, I don’t want to be swarmed by spiders coming to repair it.”

                             “Jesus, “Dean shudders.

                             “Maybe we can go talk to the bird woman again. You still have the feathers, right?” Claire considers. Alex nods and leads Abigail in back.

                             “She’s so big.” Dean looks depressed.

                             “Tell me about it.” Claire sighs. “Where did that little baby girl running after Shelly go? Now she’s just… running away from her. And interested in boys.”

                              “What? No. She’s not old enough for that.”

                              “She’s thirteen, Dean. So yeah, she is.” 

                              “But… Shelly’s sixteen and she’s not at… dear god she probably is, isn’t she? Shit. I’d better warn Sam.” He reaches in his pocket for his phone.

                              “I’d warn the general population if someone must be warned.  She will just… destroy everyone I swear. Sam’s safe from this particular nightmare. Besides I’m sure he’s not as deeply in denial about the sexuality of teenage girls as you are. He can’t afford to be.”

                              “Well, instead of bringing home boys, she’s bringing home hellhound puppies. I’m not sure he’d prefer the boys, though.” Dean grins.

                              “What?!” Claire laughs. “Again?”

                              “To be fair, the first time Evil Gabriel sent her home with one. I never thought anything would make me appreciate that angel.” Dean finishes the lasagna roll.

                              “Poor kid. She got a fear of flying and a love for hellhounds out of that affair. Of course, she was always likely to become a little yellow Hagrid expy, but still…” Claire shakes her head.

                               “Yeah, but Sam’s put his foot down about that.  And she’s over the fear of flying.” Dean considers, leaning back in the sofa. “I’m more worried about her becoming romantically involved or, more specifically, the first break up.”

                               “She’ll be fine. Provided you don’t kill her first crushes entire family.” Claire pats his shoulder and gets up to get some more food. “And she’s not over her fear of flying.”

                               “What? But, then, how does she.. blip out like that?” Dean frowns. Shelly’s always taking off. How is she doing that if not… flying? 

                               “She uses the bifrost to cross water and mountains and for everything else she uses her little wings as kind of like a nitrous boost when running through the ether. Shelly’s good at charming people. Hel gave her permission, of course, seeing as she’s her baby sister, but Heimdall honors it because Shelly laughs at his stories. mostly about Bree humiliating herself in the aesir.” Claire looks in the fridge for something sweet. “Alex! Doesn’t he do desserts anymore?”

                                “Yeah, but he does them fresh, and single servings.” They hear from the bedroom. “Mostly because if he makes more either Bree or Luci and the twins steal them.”

                              “Figures.” Claire sighs and grabs an apple instead. “So, what’s with the arm? No angel mojo fixing you up?”

                              “Don’t ask.” Dean scowls.

                              “Castiel and Raphael trying to make him acknowledge the limitations of his age by making him deal with the consequences of his reckless behavior.” Alex comes out to the closet and grabs a few things before going back in. “The non-lethal conseqences.”

                              “Well, duh,” Claire keeps looking through the fridge. “You don’t even have any yogurt . This is so far past sad.. I should call child services, that’s what I sho do.”

                              “I have some honey sticks that Aunt Miqa game me.” Abigail comes back out in her usual long baggy shirt and jeans but with a cap over her head,her hair still in a little braided crown. “Nobody touches those.” She walks over to her aunt and hesitantly hands them over. 

                              “Thanks, kid.” Claire takes them and kisses her cheek. “Don’t worry, we’ll straighten those pain in the asses out and they won’t bother you again. Okay? “She pats her back. Abigail just sighs and nods, not looking any happier. “I missed you. Don’t be such a stranger.”

                              “Okay.”

                              “Hey, so I got some time off work, so you want to go do something? hang out?” Claire asks her.

                             “No. I… I have to go to school. In the morning.” Abigail moves away. “Can I go talk to Uncle?”

                             “I would prefer you didn’t right now.” Alex says cautiously. “C’mon, let’s go downstairs and we’ll make a few charms. Then maybe we’ll go out for pizza?” Abigail nods and lets her mom lead her out to the hall. “We’ll be back in a little bit. You two make yourselves comfortable, okay?”

                            “Alright.” Claire waves and sits back down by Dean. “So, grandpa, what are we going to do about this?”

                             “We? We are doing nothing. You’re Hela’s third in command. You’re toeing the line here. I on the other hand am going to go fuck up some gods.”

                             “Not with those old brittle bones, breaking at the slightest provocation. Seriously what the hell happened? Unless it’s some freaky sex things… yeah, no, never mind. But face it, Dean. You need to retire. Seriously. I’m fairly sure the last monster you faced just laughed itself to death when faced with your  decrepit graying wrinkled hunter ass.”  Claire pokes his shoulder.

                            “Yeah, well, you’re… just… shut up. I’m not that old!”

                            “What are you, sixty, seventy?”

                            “Keep it up and I’m not fixing your car again.” Dean threatens.

                            “Fine. Geez.” Claire throws her hands up. “So crotchety. You, sir, need a nap. Honey stick?”

                            “I am not sixty.” He mutters.

                            “Not for a few more months anyways.” Claire admits and ignores the look he’s giving her. “What? No, I’m agreeing with you.”

                            “Just give me the damn honey stick.”


	8. Family Drama

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail is finding it impossible to separate her personal and public life.  
> Her freinds are becoming both confused and concerned.

             “I dunno.” J.J. hears as he enters homeroom. ”I kind of think she overreacted.”

             “That’s because you don’t have anyone like that in your life, you lucky bastard.” 

             “I still can’t believe she can sing like that. We have to get her on the voice. Or that other one.  Where’s the next audition? Does she have a tragic back story? They always pick someone with a tragic back story. And an obnoxious cousin doesn’t count.”

Oh, it’s those three again. Sucking some other poor soul into their web of petty shallow stupidity. He looks over to Abigail’s desk. She’s there yet. Is she even coming in today? She was out friday. Maybe she’s sick.             

              “You didn’t have to walk me to the class room.” His heart skips a beat as he hears her voice.

              “I know, but I don’t have much else to do. And you need to introduce me to your teachers so they don’t think I’m just some creepy stalker. “ Some old man that seems oddly familiar is walking next to her, his arm in a sling.

              “Okay. Miss Smith?” She walks up to the teacher’s desk. “Can we have a word with you please?”

               “Of course.” Miss Smith smiles. Abigail is the teacher’s pet, deservedly of course, but it is irritating. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better, Abigail.” She ushers them into the hall.

               “If that’s another one of her relatives I’m going to scream.” Tris shakes her head. 

               “Why are they all white?” Katniss makes a face. A good question but stupidly put. You only ever see her white relatives. Except for her father. 

               “Really, Kat?” Rosalie sighs.

               “No, I mean, she’s not adopted, so…”

               “Obviously she has more family on her mother’s side than her father’s side, Kat. Jesus, you’re so frickin stupid sometimes. She’s going to stop talking to us because of all your dumb ass questions.” Tris gives her a little shove.

               “Girls. Language.” Ms. Smith clears her throat coming back in. “Alright…” She looks around the room. “Jamal.” She points to JJ. “Come here.”

                “Yes ma’am?” He walks up to the front desk.

                “Would you mind letting Ms. Jones use your desk? She needs to be by the window for personal reasons.”

                “N-no… that’s…”Abigail stammers, looking almost alarmed.

                “No, that’s okay.” JJ quickly says, adjusting his glasses, “The glare kind of hurts my eyes anyways.”

                 “Thank you.” She smiles.

                 “No, thank you.” The room feel a little warmer as he hears the girls snicker next to him at his stupid, stupid, response, he just takes his bag and goes to the desk. She’s wearing a small feathered bracelet, which is new. Pretty though. She looks a little upset. Should he talk to her? Ask her what’s wrong? Why would she answer though they’re not friends.”

                 “Please tell me that wasn’t another one of your gorgeous relative.” Rosalie tosses a pen cap at Abigail who thinks briefly.

                 “Oh, that… that was my aunt Claire’s stepfather.”

                 “OMFG grandfathers have no right to be that hot.” Kat whistles.

                 “Is everyone in your family that gorgeous? If so can you invite me to the next reunion?” Tris winks at her. Abigail actually smiles at them for this.

                  “Well, the twins are little hobgoblins, but they’re only nine so it’s impossible to say for sure.”

                  “Only in terms of behavior.” JJ comments before he can stop himself. The trip look at him.

                  “I am so sorry about them.” Abigail looks to him. Is she talking to him? Really? Why did he say that? “They are literally the devil’s children. But thank you so much for putting up with them. We’re kind of running out of places to take them.”

                  “It’s okay.” Though he’s a little disappointed of her misuse of the word literally.

                  “The hell, Jamal?” Rosalie gives him a look as Katniss just crosses her arms.

                  “No. They’ve been kicked out of ever Gary Gouda’s but his family’s.”

                  “Your family owns a Gary Gouda’s? The one next to Biggersons?”

                  “No. The one within walking distance.” He sighs.

                  “Riley and Chris are nine. Gender fluid fraternal twins with one Y chromosome between them, and approximately half a conscience.” Abigail says dryly. 

                 “Hey, we share a whole conscience, thank you very much?” An adorable blue eyed head peeks into the room.

                  “I think you’re in the wrong school, sweetie.” The teacher smiles at the adorable little child.

                  “No, it’s out today.” A green-eyed one joins their smiling twin.

                  “We’re just here to make a delivery.” They hold out a bunch of flowers, each.

                  “Make it quick.” Ms. Smith smiles at them. “Class is starting in five minutes.” 

                  “Abby Gale, sweet, sweet Abby Gale.” They pout at her.

                  “You have five minutes.” Abigail sighs and braces herself.

                  “Thanks.” They disappear briefly, before sliding dramatically into the room on their knees, singing, hands to their chest, “We’re sorry (we’re sorry). So sorry (so sorry).That we thought you were a goat and didn’t tell your da-a-ad. (We won’t do it again, we hate it when you’re ma-a-ad)” They finish with the arm holding the flowers, around each other’s neck, giving her jazz hands with the free ones. “Weeeee’re soooooo soooorrryyyyyyy.”

                 “Did they just say they thought she was a goat?” Kat looks to the two asking another valid question. Tris just shrugs, though Rosalie is filming the entire thing on her phone.

                  “We’re sorry, Abigail.” They scoot towards her still on their knees. “ Please… Pleeeease forgive us. Pleeeaaasee.” Abigail covers her eyes as they start prostrating themselves before her.

                   “Your apology has been received and logged for consideration. Now go home.” She glares at them. They just sit on the floor with the most pitiful expressions. “Fine. I forgive you for that but only because you gave it culottes. Now get out of here! And stay out of my school, this is beyond inappropriate.”

                   “Yay! She loves us again!” They scramble up and hug her, kissing her cheeks.

                   “Okay, that’s enough. Thing-one, Thing-two time to go home. Go down stairs and have Dean walk you back.”

                   “Awww, come on.”

                   “We’re not babies.”

                   “Or I could call your mother?”

                   “Fine.” They groan, letting their arms hang limp in protest.

                   “And take the flowers. I’m not carrying all that crap around.”

                   “We love you, Abby.” They stand cheek to cheek, hands clasped together between them.

                   “I love you too, now get.” She points to the hall. The twins blow her a kiss and take off.

                   “They are adorable.” Ms. Smith laughs. Abigail refrains from comment and just turns to the window. She waves her hand to someone outside, makes devil horns and a peace sign, before pausing and giving a thumbs up.

                    “Their uncle’s seeing them home. I’m sorry for the interruption.” Abigail apologizes. Much to JJ’s surprised Ms. Smith just nods and doesn’t say anything more. “I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

                    “Of course.” is the unbelievable reply. But Abigail Jones is probably the most well behaved student at the school so it’s not surprising to anyone she’s Ms. Smith’s and probably every teacher’s blatant favorite even to this degree. 

                    “What adorable little psychopaths.” Rosalie comments looking out the door.

                    “Yes.” Abigail sighs. “They live across the hall. They’re my uncle’s children.  The one who walked me to school the other day.“

                    “And that’s the bell. Clary, it’s your turn to read the announcements.” Ms. Smith is back to her normal balls of steel voice it seems, so everyone settles down. JJ just looks over at Abigail, which is harder now that they’re in different seats. Luckily she’s looking out the window. What on earth were they apologizing for? A goat? Culottes? What are culottes? Is her entire family insane? Probably. 

                     “Jamal? Eyes to the front.”

                      “Sorry, Ma’am.”

 

                     “This isn’t a very healthy lunch.” Abigail looks down at the lunch tray.

                     “It’s a pizza day.” The lunch lady gives her a mildly annoyed look. “People don’t complain about pizza day.”

                     “Dude, that is not pizza. “Dean looks over her shoulder. “Hey, your dad dropped off lunch for you. And your friends when he saw the pizza. C’mon they’re outside.

                     “Did you get the twins home okay?” She asks putting the tray back and walks outside.

                     “Yeah, I had Claire take them back to school. How are you doing? You okay? Anything weird happen?”

                      “Aside from the devil’s children singing the sorry song in front of my entire home room class?” She asks dryly.

                      “Yeah,” Dean grins, putting his arm around her shoulder, “Besides that.”

                      “No.” As Abigail nears the picnic table, she sees her friends waving from around a large sushi platter with seaweed salad.

                       “Your dad’s the best.” Kat reaches out for an unagi roll.

                       “Oh, yeah.” Tris agrees. Rosalie’s just eating. “Did you get anything from the contest yet?”

                       “Yes.”Abigail sits down, wishing they hadn’t brought that up. “I… I don’t think I want to do it. I’m going to have them send it back or give it to someone else or something.” She picks up a pair of chopsticks. 

                       “Abigail,” Kat leans forwards. “This is a proffessional photo shoot. I know you’re not into all that pretty lacey dress up make up stuff, but… “She pauses as Dean laughs. ”But you should give it a chance. C’mon, live a little.”

                       “It’ll be fine, AJ.” Dean ruffles her hair. “I’ll be right there. I promise.”

                       “I only won because Shelly made more noise than the entire audience combined.”

                       “So because your biggest fan happens to be your cousin, she doesn’t count? C’mon you have a beautiful voice and you didn’t cheat and you know you’ll love this fancy girly stuff. Or am I going to have to whip out the halloween pictures?”

                       “No,” Abigail looks at him warningly. Though they’re much less embarrassing than the eeyore footies, which she is absolutely going to have to put her foot down about this year. “Okay. I don’t know what package to do though.”

                       “Why don’t you have your friends come over tonight and help you decide?”

                       “Come.. is that.. I need to ask abba….”

                       “A.J. Relax, it’s fine. They can come.”

                       “You’re not going to do anything weird, right?” She leans over and whispers. “No… holy water, salt or cutting them with silver knives right?”

                        “Your father already checked them out.” He reassures her. “Though may I suggest temporary friendship tattoos? You know just in case?”

                         “Sure, Dean. We’ll all get matching tattoos after knowing each other for four days. That’s not creepy or strange at all.” She looks at him, her face that serious annoyed look that she gets from her father.

                         “So what kind of shelter, is it?”  Kat asks.

                         “I’m sorry?”

                         “You answered the intercom ‘celestial shelter’ What kind of shelter is it?”

                         “Tax mostly.” Abigail’s glib reply makes Tris snort her bubble tea.

                          “It’s actually kind of a freinds and family time share type place.” Dean quickly intervenes. “Kind of complicated, but as friends of the family, if you’re ever in trouble, no matter how weird, you always have a place to go.”

                          “Um, okay?” Tris raises an eyebrow.

                          “Thank you?” Kat looks at her friends.

                          “This isn’t like a cult or something, is it?” Rosalie asks. Tris just glares at her.

                          “No. Just extremely strange.” Abigail reassures them.

                          “Yes, we worship common sense.” Dean says at the same time.

                          “And the army navy surplus store.” Abigail adds.

                          “Smartass.” Dean grins at her. She gives him a little smile back.

                          “What happened to your arm?” Katniss asks, changing the subject to an alternately awkwardly invasive one.

                          “Hunting accident.” he grabs a peice of spider roll. “Can you believe this crap is actually healthy?”

                          “Should you call your parents and ask permission?” Abigail desperately tried to direct the conversation.

                           “Not if I’m home by ten.” Tris shrugs.

                           “I have to do my homework in study hall and send them a picture of it but that’s it.” Rosalie shakes her head. “I don’t get a curfew until my grades drop below a B.”

                            “Lucky.” Tris sighs.

                            “Mine just don’t care.” Kat looks behind them. “Hey, you have another admirer, Abigail.”

                           “Another one?” Abigail sounds confused. She doesn’t have any admirers. She’s been specifically trying to avoid that.

                           “Yeah, Jamal’s been making googoo eyes at you since day one. But this one’s even cuter. Maybe a little older but damn.”

                           “Another one of your ridiculously hot relatives?” Rosalie looks behind her to see Bia standing there holding a basket and flowers. When he sees he’s been notices, he walks briskly over to them.

                           “That little shit.” Dean gets to his feet. 

                           “I wished to extend my apologies for the misunderstanding.” He holds out the flowers to her. Abigail makes no move to take them.

                           “You have a hell of alot of nerve. You think I won’t gank you in the middle of a public place?” Dean grabs Bia’s collar. “Do you know who I am?”

                           “Please. I am here to speak with my beautiful wife. This does not concern you.”

                           “Oh, you think so? Let me explain something to you, punk.”

                           “I’m not your wife. And this is not the place to discuss this.” Abigail snaps.

                            “Regardless.” He places the basket in her lap. “I have acquired the phone. The number in within. Please. Let me know if you need anything.” Bia winks, and pinches her cheek. Dean grabs his wrist and twists it behind his back.

                            “I’ll be right back. Don’t open that.” He leads the smirking river god back to the parking lot. “If you ever come near her again. I will personally send you to the abyss.”

                            “Oh good. I did wish to inform my father of my new bride. But please, do not trouble yourself on my behalf.” The smirk makes Dean want to just kill him on principle.   Abigail closes her eyes, taking a deep breath as the girls just look at her.

                             “Did you… escape from a cult?” Kat asks after a minute.

                             “No my Aunt sold my father to an african river god but since he’s not a single woman they’ve decided the sale transfers to me.” She sighs.

                              “You don’t have to be so sarcastic all the time.” Kat frowns, though Tris and Rosalie are cracking up.

                              “I’m sorry… I…” Abigail sighs, but stops as the basket moves. “Oh, please not spiders, please not spiders.” She whispers, holding her feathered bracelet to her chest. 

                             “Oh my god!” Kat squeals as the puppy pushes it’s head out of the basket.  

                             “C-courage?” Abigail looks at it. The puppy jumps up and starts to lick her face. “I… excuse me.” She gets to her feet and runs after Dean with the dog and basket. The girls huddle together as soon as she’s gone.

                              “Okay, there is some sort of weird culty religious thing going on here.  I fucking know it.” Rosalie smacks her hand on the table.

                              “So… so what do we do?” Kat glances back a little nervous. 

                              “Are you kidding. We can’t leave that sweet little girl all alone? No, it is our christian duty to befriend this child and talk her under our wing and save her from the godless insanity that is her life.”

                               “Tris, you’re a buddist.”

                               “Besides, you’re just nosy.” Rosalie scoffs shoving his arm. “You just went inside the shelter.”

                               “Hell yes, I went to go inside. If it is a cult can you imagine what kind of cool freaky stuff is in there? But really, Abigail needs some normal people in her life.”

                               “What does that have to do with us?” They just give Kat a look at this.

                               “Oh, yeah, I still haven’t used my silver glitter mace. You know the one I got for christmas?”

                               “Ooo, ooo, you mean the one from Luci’s garden? My cousin had one and last year at college, you know when there was that freaky serial killer cutting out hearts and some guy with long nails and weird teeth jumped out at her and she sprayed him right in the mouth and he just started screaming and writing on the ground and clawing at his own face and she ran off and got away. True story.” Katniss nods wide eyes.

                               “Uh-huh, well, I have the whole self defense bit, and everything so… yeah, we’ll be fine.” Tris reassures them. “We’ll be fine.”

                               “Oh my god, though, I love their whole Devil May Care make up line, don’t you?”

                              “My weird gypsy aunt has their whole line in her RV. It’s oddly feminine for her. She’s the one that got me the mace actually.” 

                              “Cool.”


	9. Freinds and Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly hangs out with crowley in hell, does not behave.  
> Abigail regrets asking her freinds to come over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay. I broke my glasses, and am ridiculously nearsighted and couldn't type or do much of anything until I could afford to replace them or figure out how to fix them or an old pair.

                “You know, your incentive plan sucks.” Shelly flips through the papers as George snores in her lap.

                “It’s hell.” Crowley replies dryly, “The only incentive should be ‘not as bad as it could be.”

                “Yeah, but you’re really short changing yourself in terms of minions. I mean, look at this asshat. He’s completely untrustworthy. A sociopathic devious little shit.’ Shelly holds up a personnel file. 

               “He’s a demon, pistol,” Crowley looks over to her from his throne. “He’s supposed to be.”

               “Yeah, if he was buying souls. But he’s in charge of the archive, and not even acquisitions. That’s just… no.” She smacks him with the folder. “You’re still thinking like the king of the cross roads. Half your problem maintaining loyalty is because of your staffing issues. Yeah, you’re keeping your place because you’re good, and, you know, made great connections outside of hell, but seriously.”

                 “And you know this from your vast experience in ruling over a hoard of demons.” He pauses and looks over.

                  “Do the twins count? Ha!” She laughs at her own joke. “No, but seriously, Uncle Helel’s been training me in this shit pretty much since I was born. I get to command little legions of my fledgling aunts and uncles during the war games in the abyss. And I head a lot of them at the school. So I do have extensive command experience. Let me find you a better person to take care of the records, just as an experiment. Give your current record keeper a ‘vacation’ or whatever, and see how my choice goes.”

                    “Why not? He has been getting a bit… complacent. Present me your suggestion and I’ll arrange the trial.” He reaches over to pat her head. “Of course, the personnel files do not leave Hell.”

                   “Well, duh.” Shelly rolls her eyes, then give a sigh, slumping down in her own little pink beanbag throne next to his. “I’m bored.”

                   “You and me both.”

                   “What are you doing?”

                   “Invoices.”

                   “That’s not a king’s job, Jesus, Crowley. Delegate.” Shelly shakes her head at him.

                   “These particular items are too important to delegate.”

                   “BeCAUSE you’re HIRING the WRONG PEOPLE!” She adorably smacks his arm with each emphasis.

                   “Beggar’s can’t be choosers, poppet.”

                   “You’re not a beggar you’re a damned king. And maybe,  just maybe, the evilest most corrupt and powerful demons aren’t the best people for the job, ALL the time?”

                   “I do just fine, thank you for your concern.”

                   “You know sometimes I think you don’t actually want to be in charge at all, you just don’t want anyone in charge of you.” Shelly looks up at the ceiling. “Ugh.. okay, I’m going to go dancing.  George, be good, take care of your uncle Crowley. Here I present to you your most trustworthy, if only temporary, companion.” Shelly gets up and places the sleepy puppy down in his lap. “Later.” As she heads to the ‘club; Crowley waves over one of the guards.

                    “Make certain she’s not molested.”

                    “Yes, majesty.” He nods and follows the nephilim with a bit too little attitude about the assignment for Crowley’s liking. The king of hell scratches the puppy’ss head, considering his options. Far less time has passed on earth than has down here, so no one there should be overly concerned at her absence as of yet, but at the same time, this is a very dangerous line he’s treading. One on hand, this is the future queen of purgatory and darling of all the archangels and winchesters he’s indulging. On the other hand if her father believed for a second that Crowley was even tangently responsible for any harm or corruption that occurs in the little Winchester, he will most likely finally follow through on his many threats to kill him the o time he sees him. And if he doesn’t, it’s more than likely Lucifer will. She is his favorite child, possibly even beyond his own two holy terrors.

                    Of course he has numerous other things to concern himself with. Fortunately while Hell has not been growing as steadily as it once was, it hasn’t been decreasing either and the reincarnated souls could potentially be theirs. After the devastation caused by Michael’s invasion, it’s nowhere near it’s former glory. The nightingale’s restructuring and reorganizing, as shoddy as her workmanship has turned out to be, did a lot to placate those scattered and remaining and bring a few demons who had long since left in one of the many apocalypses back into the foldl. Unfortunately when it comes to souls and demon deals it is currently a buyers market.

                    She could have a point, though. He’s still thinking like a salesman.  It’s something Lucifer harped on a lot during their deals, but what’s wrong with that. Most monarchies do not get their strength from their population’s virtues, but from their greed and self interest. Perhaps the problem is that he has not been viewing his subjects as clients as well. He wishes to gain their loyalty and service and keep it, but in exchange for what? For less pain? For less certain destruction? Destruction isn’t even the worst thing that could happen anymore. No, the worst thing that could happen is remaining here, in hell.

                    And despite anything he could do to make hell ‘more pleasant’ to those in it, the simple truth is that what makes it hell is not the torture or the hellfire, it’s the fact that with few exceptions, everyone in it is just absolutely terrible. The most insightful thing he ever heard on the subject was uttered as a cynical joke. But it’s true, hell is other people.

 

                   “She said five, right?” Kate hikes her bag up on her shoulders.

                   “Yeah, she had to hogtie the twins.” Tris gives a grin and knocks.

                   “You have your mace, right?” Rosalie asks nervously.

                   “Yeah, I do. Did you two remember to bring your swimsuits?”

                   “Of course. What kind of shelter has a pool though?” Kat checks her purse to make sure.

                   “The Y did before it closed. I don’t think it was in use though.

                   “Hello?” Tris presses the intercom button again. “We’re here to see Abigail?”

                    “Oh, hi, you’re Abby’s friends. I’ll be right there.” A new voice answers. After a moment, a white woman with high cheekbones and straight black hair tugs open the door. “I’ll have to call Nick again. What is it with these damn doors.” She look at it a moment, “Right, Hi. I’m Alex Jones, Abby’s mom. C’mon in.” she ushers them inside. When they step inside they get a better view of the tiled entryway. It’s a giant pentagram with missing pieces and a large circle of tiny crystals that look almost like salt but why would there be a giant circle of salt? They look over at each other briefly and move closer together before following the woman to the elevator. 

                   “Thank you for having us over, Mrs. Jones.” Rosalie ever the suck up says politely.

                   “Glad to have you. I’m so happy that Abby finally has some friends outside the family. You’re welcome here at any time.”

                  “Yeah, sure. Okay.” Tris says as the symbols on the wall are freaking Kat and Rose out a bit.

                  “And your names are Kat, Rose and Tris?”

                  “Yeah, our parents were huge nerds.” Rosalie says. “Very loyal to their fandoms.”

                  “God, you have no idea, we had to tell Kat’s parents that Rose was named after Rose Hathaway from Vampire Academy so they’d  us bring her over.”

                 “I was almost Isabella, but mom threatened to divorce dad if he insisted. Rosalie was the only character she liked, so a compromise. she divorced him anyways, but I’m very glad she took a stand.”

                  “I’m not a fan of vampire novels in general, but I’m hardly about to blame someone for their name. As a general rule, vampires are not cool. They’re creepy whiney assholes who reek of stale blood. Remember that.” She sounds so serious it kind of disturbs them.

                  “Yes, ma’am.” Kat says dutifully.

                  “I thought she said, her parents were the only SANE people in her family.” Rosalie whispers to Tris. 

                  “Christian duty, girls, our christian duty.” Tris puts a hand to her breast and walks into the elevator.

 

                  “Well, look who it is. Our little Princess.” The demon spreads his arms in welcome as Shelly enters the club.

                  “Aw, there’s my second favorite disingenuous sycophant.” Shelly gives him the wink and the gun. “S’up? Here to party?”

                 “Of course, young majesty,” He pulls out a rose from thin air and hands it to her. “As always you bring us a little piece of heaven with your presence. Have you given any thought to what we discussed last time?”

                 “Maybe. But I don’t know. How do I know it’s not a trick?” She wrinkles her nose. “I mean, for all I know you’re really just testing me and my loyalty to my uncle and or the current king. How am I suppose to give serious thought to that kind of uncertain practically hypothetical thing like that? I mean, what’s really the point? So I’m just going to dance and sing and earn the love and praise I so richly deserve without risk of excess blood shed, so, until you have something a little less speculative for me to think about... Later?” She winks and pats his cheeks before heading off to the dance floor.

                  That one, Rasputin, if that’s is real name, had started  making overtures when George’s mom was expecting. Stupid not-so-subtle sucking up and bonding attempts when Crowley wasn’t around. Flattery of course, but nothing Uncle Helel hadn’t prepared her for. He obviously wants a puppet ruler for hell to replace Crowley. So she’s been trying to play ambitious but lazy and easily flattered. Hopefully she’ll be able to suss out and slaughter any hidden loyalists or new fed up demons ready for a regime change, before they get organized enough to try and get Uncle Helel back. If it means using the ones who want her as a stalking horse to pull them all in on this, so be it. It’s not as if she has anything better to do.

                  The club starts to empty of dancers, most of them kicked out by stronger demons.

                  “Howdy,” Shelly plops down on the nearest chair, resting her legs on the arm. “May, I help you evil scoundrels?” She gives them her most winning innocent smile.

                  “We are here to pledge our loyalty.” The ring leader, what’s his face, right, Rasputin, bows. 

                  “Alright.” Shelly takes out her phone and start s recording. “Proceed or never bring this up again.” She watches their reactions through the viewer. “Just… I hope you realize that if you’re not a hundred percent positive about this, you are free to leave no grudges, I swear on my angelic natures, but if you stay and aren’t completely down with whatever’s happening? I promise you, you will not enjoy the consequences. Understand? Last chance people. No? Everyone staying? Okay. Pledge away, oh, but first,” she moves the phone down. “Could someone get me a mango lassi? It’s hot as hell down here. Oh, and some gulab jamun. You. Person who sold his soul to be head librarian.” she points to an embarrassed one.

                “It was for the king!” He blurts out, as the others look at him oddly. “Family honor...tradition…” the explanation trails off. From the look on his face he’s refraining from reminding a few of them why they’re here.

                 “Yeah, well, shoo.” She waves him away. “Get me food and drink. I’ll have you pledge privately.” She winks. He reluctantly leaves the room. “Okay, now where were we?”

                 “You… know him?” Rasputin asks a little taken aback.

                 “Not personally, I just looked up everybody I could for the new record keeper position.”

                 “Excuse me?” The current record keeper straightens up at this.

                 “I’m sorry, did you not want a promotion? Cause, you know, whatever.” Shelly shrugs. “I’m good either way.”

                 “No, I… I was just surprised.”

                 “I reward loyalty as greatly as I punish disloyalty. I figure that sort of thing is just good leadership. Right?” She looks around not really asking.

                 “Right.” Several nod in agreement, looking awed at her wisdom and cunning.. “Yes of course.”  With this level of sycophanty they’re obviously at least sincere about rebelling, whether she’s Luci bait , stalking horse, or grandpa forbid an actual new queen. Maybe after this Crowley will let her reorg the personnel system.

 

                  “Look at her, playing with friends.” Alex smiles at the girls in the pool fromt eh one way glass of the sauna. “Normal, uninitiated human friends!” She hugs her husband’s arm. “Not that there’s anything wrong with not being human.”

                  “I know what you mean.” He grins and gives her a kiss deciding not to remind her of their potential pagan in laws, “I once wished to take all the unpleasantness, pain, and suffering from all of existence, after all, but apparently that was a bad idea.”

                    “I get your point, smart ass, but still I just wanted her to have a normal life, not my idea of a perfect one. I know everyone needs the right to do stupid reckless ill advised things, and normal human friends give you a safer way to do that.”

                    “Until they dare you to spend the night in a haunted asylum or the cursed graveyard or pee in a sacred urn.” Raphael shakes his head.

                   “Well not that a group of girls would be much in danger of that last one, but we’ve raised her well enough to avoid or survive it. I hope.” Alex looks out at the girls. “Maybe we should have just… asked Luci to homeschool her or something.”

                    “Alex,” he kisses her cheek. “It will be alright.”

                    “Promise?”

                    “Yes.” the moment of hesitation before his reply is not the least thing making it completely unconvincing.

                   “You liar.” Alex laughs and elbows his stomach. “You’d think you’d be better at it by now.” 

                   “I’ve been busy improving other skills.” He kisses her neck.

                   “Not possible.” Alex grins and shrieks a little as he pulls her down to the second row with him, the blinds going down as he locks and soundproofs the room all at once.

 

                   “Are they okay?” Kat looks over as they hear a breif cut off shriek fromt eh sauna. The windows are covered now.

                   “Yes, just.. don’t go in there.” Abigail sighs, wrinkling her nose. Do they really have to be so… affectionate? Here? Now? They’re not nearly as bad as pretty much all their other relatives but still.. she has friends over. It’s like her entire family exists only to embarrass and humiliate her without even trying.

                   “My dad and his new wife are the same way. It’s just gross. Old people shouldn’t be all lovey in public.” Rosalie wrinkles her nose.

                   “My mother’s not that old.” Abigail crosses her arms indignantly.

                   “Well, she’s older than your dad, right?”

                   “Not even cl… oh shit!” Abigail gasps as two nine year olds in tank tops and swim trunks cannonball in between the girls.

                   “Oh you little shits!” Tris takes off the glasses, shaking the water off them. 

                   “Children, “Luci snaps, they give a sheepish grin. 

                  “Sorry, daddy.” They give him a sheepish unrepentant grin.

                   “Don’t apologize to me. Apologize to your cousin and her friends. “Sorry Abigail. I didn’t know you were down here. I thought I was taking them away from you and your friends.”

                    “Dad! Come on! You said you’d swim with us.” One of them, Abigail’s not sure which, asks as they swim towards the edge.

                  “Fine, but you splash me, you’re waking up bald.” He points to them.             

                  “Pfft. You wouldn’t do that.” They laugh.

                  “Yes, he would, and has. Have you really already forgotten?” Abigail chides them, arm crossed.

                 “What? Nooo.” Chris laughs. That’s the only thing they do differently, laugh.

                 “Daddy wouldn’t do that.”Riley sounds skeptical, as if he doesn’t quite 

understand that there’s not a whole lot that their dad wouldn’t or hasn’t done.

                 “Yes, he did. Whenever you were especially bad, he’d shave your heads so everyone would know you’re in disgrace. Your mother made him stop when you started preschool because of school pictures. “Abigail informs them. They look at her a little disturbed for a minute, before laughing again.

                  “Nice try, we know that’s not true..”

                  “You’re right.” Abigail sighs. “That was actually Shelly who did that when you pissed her off.” Usually by messing with Abigail and her things too the point she started crying.

                 “It was my idea, though. She just wanted to put you in a box and mail you to Abu Dabi.” Luci grins and take off his outerwear, diving gracefully into the deep end.

                 “Oh my god, she is so gorgeous,” Kat whispers. “Why would you want to be a boy if you had a body like that?”

                 “Oh for god’s sake, Kat.” Rosalie snaps as Tris just covers her eyes. “Just, shhhh…. shush.”

                 “The question is why would anyone alter a body like that even if they are actually male.” Abigail corrects her. “The answer is they wouldn’t, especially no one as vain as my uncle.”

                “Hey, a little more respect, little girl.” Her uncle splashes her a little.

                “Loving you doesn’t mean I have to think you’re perfect and it’s hardly more respectful to confine my opinion to behind your back.

                “They would if they had body dysmorphia.” Kat points out a second too late.

                “You should have seen her at fifteen.” They girls give a start and turn round to see a small gilded desi woman sitting on the rail. Just everything about her is golden, golden eyes, golden skin, golden hair, she’s obviously mixed with something european but it’s not immediately obvious which. “Puberty was very kind, damnit.”

                “Hello, Aunt Gabrielle. “Abigail greets her. “These are my friends, Tris, Rose, and Kat. Girls, this is my Aunt, Shelly’s mom.”

                  “Oh my god, it’s like your aunt and uncle had a child together.” Kat exclaims,  the tall golden, gorgeous girl who utterly dominated the quarterback. Abigail winces slightly as her uncle and her other aunt did have  twins. There is far too much to explain about her family if you don’t lie about everything all the time.

                  “Hey, my little cocoa bean, have you seen your cousin anywhere?”

                  “No, if I do, I’ll let you know.” Abigail turns away as her  aunt starts talking to her uncle in enochian, which thankfully the girls don’t understand. Mostly she’s asking her about the hellhound and if shelly called him or things like that. But Shelly doesn’t care. She’s just being an overdramatic primadonna drama queen. She’ll come home as soon as they’re upset enough to let her keep the damn puppy

                  “Do you want to go back upstairs and look over the stuff for the photo shoot?” Tris asks as the adults start arguing.

                 “Well, I didn’t actively physically eviscerate his brother in front of his eyes. It’s one thing knowing a person is responsible and actively seeing the carnage. Don’t pretend you don’t know this.” Her Aunt says indignantly, crossing her arms. “When she’s an adult, and living on her own, then she can have whatever pet she wants. But not in the bunker, not with my Sam.”

                 “Yes, let’s go.” Abigail hurries out of the pool and hands everyone their towels as they follow her out.


	10. Truth and consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly made a bad decision,  
> Crowly has no good ones  
> Abigail is quite frankly surprised she's being given the decision at all.

              Crowley looks at the cell phones, so many demons pledging fealty to a sixteen year old nephilim. The camera turns to Shelly’s face. She gives a wink and puts it aside someplace securing it firmly to the wall to record the ensuing slaughter. It touches him more than he cares to admit. Though the last bit where she smites that demon who was the clear ringleader, Rasputin, just as he drives a blade through her heart makes him wince even more so than initially seeing the body littered pool of demon and nephilim blood mingling on the floor of the little ‘dance club’ the nightingale had set up. The demon with the mango lassi and bag of indian food is just standing and staring, frozen with fear.

            “Do you have something you want to tell me?” He looks to the quaking demon.

            “I… I don’t… dislike you personally… I just… really liked the thought of hell being more reformatory than punitive.” He says meekly.

            “That was her line?”

            “No, they were going with Make Hell Great Again.” He confesses. This makes Crowley laugh. Yes, that jibes with her sense of humor. “But I’ve heard her talking to you and that felt more sincere to me than anything else she’s said.” Apparently this one is more savvy than he seems

            “Huh, Well then. I suppose I can let you live. For a while. Do not move.” He puts Shelly’s cellphone in his pocket, taking out his own. It’s a long hard debate that lasts all of five seconds before he concludes that it’s better not to risk his own immolation by informing absolutely any of her relatives. Granted he and Michele do have a deal of their own just in case, but who knows if it’ll still be valid by the time they retrieve her. “Come with me.” Crowley picks up the girl’s body and brings it to his private treasury, placing it down on the antique lounge he salvaged from a nazi renaissance collection. “You will stay here and guard this body. If anything at all should happen to it you will never leave this place again.”

            “Yes, your majesty.” He nods. For good measure, Crowley seals the room shut behind him, and goes to gather some summoning supplies. 

 

             “Oh my god,”Kat walks over to Abigail’s vanity. “You have like the entire Luci’s Garden Vintage Quince edition collection.” She picks up the lotion. “How did you…”

             “Oh, that. My father and Aunt Bree own Luci’s garden. Well, they created it.” Abigail replies, relieved to have something mundane she can tell them about her family. Kat’s speechless.

              “You have your own bathroom? You lucky little brat. Rose looks inside.

              “Is this your closet?” Tris opens the closet door. “Let’s see if we can find you something decent to… woah.” Abigail feels a brief moment of alarm that disappears for an even briefer moment before complete and utter panic takes over as Tris takes out her blade from the weapons rack Aunt Miqa gave her for her birthday that she apparently forgot to to lock. “This is so cool. Is that japanese or something?” she looks at abigail’s name written in enochian on the hilt.

               “No, it’s just… pretty markings.” Abigail lies, taking it carefully from her and puts it way, locking the cabinet as she was supposed to have done and not let her visitors have access to her weapons. “And they’re props. My Aunt likes to take me to.. conventions and stuff like that with her daughter. They’re real enough to hurt you but not real enough not to break in doing so, so…”

               “Huh, I could have sworn they were real.” Tris puts her hands on her hips.  “My aunt has a whole bunch of weird weapons like that. Not like that silver thing though. That’s just cool.”

              “Where’s that cute little puppy? The one that weird but cute stranger who called you his wife gave you.” Kat looks around.

              “He’s at the vet.” Abigail says shortly, looking away. Though the lie isn’t as convincing this time, at least not to Tris and Rose.

              “Did… did he give you a sick puppy?” Kat sounds horrified.

              “Katniss, do you really think her parents are going to let her keep some animal given to her as a… a dowry by some psycho stalker pedophile thing no matter how cute he is?”Rosalie sighs. “So is he crazy or what?”

               “I don’t want to talk about it. The whole thing is my Aunt Bree’s fault anyways. “Abigail crosses her arms. Shelly clearly gets her obnoxious nature from her mother. Though Uncle seems to think she’s perfect and blames her failings on her father. Some time she thinks Uncle Helel likes Shelly more than any of them, but everyone has favorites. Aunt Miqa possibly likes Abigail more than Shelly, her parents love her best, but Shelly is by far the favorite. Everyone loves her even when they hate her. Shelly is sunshine incarnate and Abigail just feels more like a shadow even if being a shadow  seem like the safest thing to be. It’s not as if anyone has any attention left after being exposed to that girl.

               Even now, she’s probably just sulking and punishing everyone for being mad at her. She’ll come back as soon as they’re sufficiently worried enough to let her keep that little hellhound pup. Honestly Abigail would have tried to talk to Uncle Sam and arrange something on her behalf but not if she’s going to be such an overdramatic brat about it. It’s amazing how some as can be so generous and caring and yet so selfish and insensitive all at the same time. It doesn’t matter she can use the break. They probably all can even if they don’t want to admit it.

               “Oh, look at all these gorgeous… why do you dress like that when you have clothes like this?” Rosalie pulls out one of her favorite lace and ribbon shells.

              “To avoid attention.”

              “Look, cutie, you are adorable no matter what you wear and wearing dowdy lumpy over sized crap is not going to keep predators from noticing you. It doesn’t work like that… woahhh, these boots!” She picks up the pair of purple thigh highs from the floor. A gift from Aunt Bree. “Alright. Forget the photo shoot, we’re playing dress up. Abigail, you are not leaving the house like that again.” Rosalie points at her.

               “She can wear what she wants to wear, Rose. Not everyone has to dress like a beauty queen.” Kat snaps.

               “Which do you like better? These or that?” Tris points to the closet and then to Abigail’s current outfit.

               “You do know there’s a dress code, right?” Abigail hedges.

               “That’s not an answer. Now come on, let me work my magic and the next time your little attention whore cousin shows up no one will even notice her next to you.” Abigail has to laugh at this impossible claim, but she might as well let them try.

               “Alright, let me change into something first.” She goes into the closet and grabs the silk lace covered teddy she got when out with Uncle. She’s not even sure why she likes it better than regular underwear or why it’s sexier because it covers more than most bathing suits. But it’s a staple for when Aunt Hel, Uncle, Aunt Bree and Shelly decide to dress her up. For some reason they all like to treat her like their own personal doll. At least her mother restrains herself to christmas eve.  

                “Please tell me you ordered that online or something.”

                “No, my Uncle Luci took me out shopping. He said my mother has no fashion sense and I deserve more than a life of over sized sweaters and layers of plaid.”

                “She doesn’t dress that badly.”

                “God, my aunt does.” Tris exclaims. “Okay. Same as last time girls.”

                “Good morning.” Abigail hears as she comes slowly out of her room. Aunt Miqa’s waiting on the couch. Abigail feels a little anxious. She didn’t want to hear her parents comment on her outfit so she ‘slept in’. Not that she thinks they’ll disapprove but their approvals or more specifically her mother’s coo-ing will make her feel like an infant and she’ll probably succumb to her anxiety and just change.

                “It complies with the dress code.” She says hastily. Aunt Miqa just raises an eyebrow at her. “If.. it just looks. I…”

                 “Do you have your blade on you?” Is all he asks.

                 “No?” Abigail looks down. There’s no really room for it.

                 “Turn around.” Michael appraises her. Abigail does so. “Here.” He snaps his fingers and Abigail feels something on her back and strapped around her chest and shoulders perfectly aligned with her tank top. Her boots are slightly looser to accommodate two knives inside them. “Go put your blade in the back sheath and the Delica4s in the boots.”

                 “Okay…” She heads back to her room and does so. 

                 “Until we are absolutely sure the trouble with the african gods is over with you will be armed at all times.”

                  “Um, Aunt Miqa?” Abigail tightens her lips not quite sure how to refuse. “This is no longer compliant with the dress code.”

                  “Unless there’s trouble far more severe than a potential expulsion, there should be no occasion for anyone to see them.”

                  “Except gym? I could get expelled for this. They have a zero tolerance polity on bringing weapons to school.”

                  “Abigail.”

                  “Yes, ma’am.” She sighs and picks up her backpack.

                  “I’ll be walking you to and from school as well. Your Aunt Claire will be keeping watch over the school along with Krissy and Harahel while your parents are working. It took a lot of convincing for you father to agree to this. Do not leave the school under any circumstances without one of us with you. Do you understand?”

                  “Yes ma’am.” She repeats and gives a sigh, though she only understands that it has to be and not entirely why.

                  “Do you have any questions?” He asks gently.

                  “Why do I need all the weapons and escorts. I have the feathers from the bird woman. And aren’t you allies with them?”

                  “We have an understanding but in this matter we’re still at odds. We will never hand you over to them, but we would like to avoid war so we’re forced to take the diplomatic route. It’s a big legal mess that’s entirely your Aunt Gabriel’s fault. If she fails to make any progress I’m going to have to ask your Uncle to help.” She can see by the way he tightens his lips that he doesn’t want to do this. Sometimes Abigail things her Uncle feels as trapped and restricted as she often does. “This is the only way you can still be allowed to attend Souix Falls High School. We should have included you in the discussion. Next time we will.”

                  “I understand. Thank you for telling me.” Abigail looks down at her hands. “And for not making me change.”

                   “You look very nice. The only reason I would ever ask you to change is if you weren’t dressed appropriately for the weather or for counseling your weapons, which I doubt your modesty would permit regardless.” He smiles and pats her head. “I have seen a lot of human fashion over the ages and there is very little that could surprise me at this point.”

                   “Oh. Do I look pretty?” She looks up.

                   “Yes. I like the way you pair the colors and textures and match them with your hair and skin force besides. You’ve always had a good sense of color and style.”

                   “Thank you.” Abigail smiles.

                   “No make-up?”

                   “I didn’t have time.”

                   “Come on let’s do that. I’ll make sure you’re at school on time.” Michael puts an arm around her shoulder. 

                    “Really?” Abigail smiles wider.

                    “Of course. I know it’s what you’d prefer and there’s nothing wrong with wearing makeup. So long as you get the results you want.”

                    “Thank you.”

                    “Holy shit, Abs,” Kat claps as she enters homeroom. “You look awesome. Jamal, doesn’t she look absolutely gorgeous?” She gives him a knowing grin that’s more than a little disconcerting.

                    “What?” He responds with an expression like a deer caught in the headlights. “She what?”

                    “Don’t bother him.” Abigail quickly scolds her and sits down without looking at him. “Please don’t just yell at men to ask their opinion of my appearance, Katniss.” Tris just laughs.

                    “Yeah, it’s getting them to keep it to themselves that’s the problem.” Rosalie grins. 

                     J.J. looks away, trying not to think too hard. What happened to his modest quiet respectable Abigail? She was always beautiful but now everyone can see it. He’ll have no chance with her now. Not that he ever did. Why are they always laughing? And picking on each other. Is she going to start acting like them? What if some of the seniors see her like this. It might be considered worth her cousin’s wrath to try their luck with her innocent little cousin.

                      All through class he keeps looking over to her. Much to his chagrin he even passes a few things back and forth between them. But what can he do, she smiles and thanks him. They girls even sit together at lunch where yet another ridiculously handsome white man comes up to give her a gourmet lunch. She can’t possibly be related to all of them. Something has to be done before it’s too late.

                     “Where does your father find time to cook these things?” Tris sips her hot chocolate. “He’s a doctor right?”

                    “Clinical psychiatrist also specializing in psychopharmacology. He works part time at the psych ward in Souix falls hospital and also does a lot of private R&D for Luci’s garden in exchange for supplies and access to the lab for his own projects. But he loves to cook, it’s something we often do together.” Abigail eats some more lamb stew. the others are too busy eating to comment. Which is fine. Talking is nice but it can get exhausting. She’ll have to remember that a good way to shut people up is to provide them with food too delicious not to eat.

                    “Abigail Jones please report to the main office immediately.” They hear the announcement over the intercom.

                    “I’ll be right back.” Abigail gets up. “Watch my bag?”

                    “Sure. I’ll bring it to Trig if you’re late.” Kat offers as she’s between bites. the others give her the thumbs up. It;s hard to imagine what she’s being called back there for. maybe someone found something or dropped something off for her. Of course given there was no reason given over the intercom, she could be being sent to see the guidance counselor, but why would she be?

                    “Ms. Jones.” The secretary smiles at her as she enters the main office. “The guidance counselor would like to see you.” She nods to the counselor’s door.

                    “I... he does? I mean, yes, ma’am.” she corrects herself and heads over to knock on the closed door.

                    “Come in.” A new one? Do they have substitute counselors? Was the old one fired? No, they usually announce things like that. 

                    “You wanted to see me?” Maybe it’s a meet and greet for the new man, every student has to meet with the guidance counselor once, more if you’re at particularly high risk, such as skipping two grades or being in a new school. But her next appointment isn’t scheduled until next semester. “ 

                    “Close the door, would you?” He asks just as she sits down. She gets up and heads back over. “It’s been brought to our attention by a concerned student that you have had a few rather drastic changes in your behavior. Constant visitors to the skill, all older, attractive gentlemen. A rather violent incident involving your cousin and a boy asking for tutoring, and a drastic change in appearance.” He smiles at her kindly. “Now, there may be innocent explanations for all of these, but it is our duty to check out each and every complaint. Better to nip these things in the bud after all. Hmm?”

                   “Of course.” Abigail replies, though her cheeks are burning at this. If she doesn’t come back with a note or a message everyone’s going to know she was called in to the counselor and they’ll start speculating for all the reasons he stated and then the rumors, the worst of which will stick. This is worse than just a few kids picking on her. So much worse. “I… there was incident with a stalker and my family is just being a little overprotective at the moment, you know. And my clothes, it’s in accordance with the dress code.” She fervently prays that he can’t see any of her weapons but knows better than to check and see if they’re showing and draw his attention to them.  “That’s who those men are my uncles and I am really sorty about my cousins, though. I’ll try very hard not to let it happen again.” 

                   “You’re thirteen, it’s not your responsibility to control your cousins behavior. They have parents I assume.” He puts his hands together and leans forwards slightly.

                   “Yes, I suppose. Um,  what happened to Mr. Dwyers?” Abigail asks, sending a quick text to her Uncle. ‘Someone went to the school counselor complaining about my change of behavior and attire and I got called in over the intercom. Everyone in the school will start talking about this and gossiping. Help! What do I do?’

                    “He’s just on a brief vacation. It doesn’t mean I can’t help you though. Sometimes it’s easier to pour out your heart to someone you’ll never hear or see again.” When he says this, Abigail has to admit it’s tempting. “But first, the phone, please.” He holds out his hand. Abigail meekly gives it to him, just as a reply text comes in. ‘Your uncle says to tell the truth, but with attitude and scorn for the institution. For example, laugh about some loser who made the complaint with your friends, loudly and in public. Don’t forget to mock the counselor for having nothing better to do than be a fashion critic and express concern over a girl becoming happier and more outgoing. Because seriously ‘W’ ‘T’ ‘F’.” He reads and gives a sigh, turning it off. “I see you have your own little Agony Aunt already.” Abigail gives a slight smile at this. “But surely you can’t tell him everything.”

                     It’s true there are things she can’t say really to anyone and get any sort of satisfactory answer, even her uncle so she proceeds to pour her heart out about how the twins are always hanging around her, causing mischeif, pulling pranks, and just doing thinkgs just to cause trouble. How Shelly is everyone’s favorite, beautiful overbearing just first in everyone’s eyes all the time. Only her parents really like her best and they have to because they’re her parents. How she’s either treated like a helpless little girl or a grown woman, sometimes both at once, and never when it feels appropriate. It’s just so frustrating. And she likes this boy but there are just so many reasons why she shouldn’t even speak to him even if she wasn’t afraid to. She hates what she is, powerless, fragile, ordinary, but not ordinary enough. He just listens sympathetically until she’s done.

                    “I’ll let you in on a little secret, poppet.” The counselor says conspiratorily. “The person who determines who you are, more than anyone else, is you.” He points to her. “You are the master of your own destiny. If you want to be extraordinary then become extraordinary. You want to be an adult, behave like one. You want to be powerful? Get power. Strong? Become strong. It’s all about the price you’re willing to pay. And if the price is too high then not paying it is your choice as well. Not everything is worth it.”

                   “I know. I’m not willing to sell my soul for any of that.” She responds dryly.

                   “You couldn’t anyways.” He straightens up. “Your cousin made a deal with me that forbids any demon to make a deal with or concerning you already.” He gives a smile.

                      “What?” Abigail feels surprised and vaguely betrayed. She just confided her darkest feelings to a demon?

                      “In case you try calling for daddy,” He snaps his fingers revealing several sigils wards which were likely already in place when she came in. Are those wall stickies? “I’ve already ensured we may talk freely and without interruption.

                      “Who are you and what have you done with Mr. Dwyers?” She demands.

                      “Nothing much, just a little harmless easily survivable emergency, he’ll be back next week.” He waves it off. “And I am Crowley the King of Hell.”

                      “The salesman.” She replies cooly. He decides to ignore that as she’s obviously just being acting out due to having poured her heart out to him just now. Unintended intimate moments do seem to make most of that family cranky. But Abigail also straightens up, folding her hands in her lap, looking more the little queen in that moment than her cousin ever did. “I don’t know what you want, but it’s in your best interests to relinquish any claim you may have on Michelle’s soul immediately. Do so and I will forget we ever spoke.” Abigail looks at him straight in the eye. It’s as if she’s fully aware of the consequences he’ll face if he does anything to her, and that it’s far worse than anything that could happen to her should he choose to do it, what’s more that she’s fully aware that he’s aware of it as well. The complete absence of fear is absolutely fascinating, and completely sincere. She’s too young to be able to fake that.

                     “The deal wasn’t made for her soul. I wouldn’t want Lucifer’s favorite niece to take up permanent residence in hell. If she’s there long enough, she might grow… ambitious. And that’s if the legions of angels and hunters don’t descend on hell itself to retrieve her. No fear about that.” Crowley shakes his head.

                      “Then why are you here?”

                      “I am here because thanks to the little supernatural nato your family has going with the underworld pagans and reapers, I’m in a bit of a pickle. I would very much like to retrieve a particular soul from purgatory, but only a human can do so and beyond that, I wish to have it done without being murdered for allowing it to happen in the first place.” The look she gives him at this is a very thirteen year old girl look.

                       “Do you honestly think I’m stupid enough to give you a soul? Anyone’s soul? You’re a demon. And I’m thirteen and human, completely utterly, pointlessly human. Why would you ask me to do it except for the fact that you think I’m some sort of naive trusting imbecile. If you want it out of purgatory than purgatory is clearly where that soul should stay.” Abigail stands up. “Now give me one good reason why I should have my father come and smite you into oblivion.”

                        “Aside from the fact that there is no oblivion? Because you are her only hope.”He says this so calmly and sincerely, she has to believe him, but still.

                        “Why should I…” Abigail stops speaking as Crowley brings up a picture on his phone and holds it up to her. “Shelly?” She plops back down in her chair.

                        “Are you ready to listen now, Ms. Jones?”


	11. Decisions, Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail has to decide what to do.

              Abigail sits silently watching the video on her phone.

              "She was weeding out your opponents for you? They'll kill you anyways."

              "No, that was something the little darling did on her own. Bit off a bit more than she could chew, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't touched regardless."

              "We have to tell her father." Is Abigail's expected reply.

              "Aside from the fact that he will murder me instantly for even allowing his baby girl access to hell in the first place, that's not a good idea." Crowley shakes his head, sitting on the edge of the desk, carefully gauging her reactions.

              "As if you could have actually stopped her." Abigail snorts. "If I tell him, maybe I could just make him... look, I don't actually care about you, at all. You area  terrible manipulative person, out soley for his own interests. I care about my family." The scornful look she gives him is shades of her uncle ranting about majesty and how he doesn't have it. "Why shouldn't I just tell them? And have experienced hunters and angels save her instead of an ordinary thirteen year old girl."

              "Because the Winchesters, the nightmares of the supernatural community, are old my dear. In their prime, yes, they slaughtered thousands. Your Uncle Dean cut a swath through purgatory searching for that boyfriend of his, that they are still talking about to this day, and likely always will. But this is not then. They are a broken hip away from being complete invalids. And no other human or hunter alive, stands a chance in there."

              "But still..."

              "And further more thanks to the aforementioned treaty between the afterlives, no angels are allowed in purgatory, no reaper will take anyone there, the holes are patched up and virtually anything they do, can do to retrieve her of this point is tantamount to an act of war. It is impossible for them to do this without unleashing a battle of apocalyptic proportions. We both know that your entirely family is more than willing to do so for their loved ones. And have. Repeatedly. Neither of us want that."

              "You don't? Mass slaughter would probably be good for hell." Abigail challenges crossing her arms.

              "Yes, but not for me given your family will line up to murder me without hesitation." He points out. Abigail sits silently, considering this. It's actually quite nice, the sound of quiet reflection. With Shelly quiet thought is more a cause for severe suspicion and alarm.

              "So what makes my doing this any less likely to cause that kind of trouble?"

              "From a legal standpoint, you are a minor and not legally bound by said treaties. If you act without either their knowledge or direction, they are not responsible for your actions. You are at that tender age where you are no longer a child, but not yet an adult and you can use that in this instance to your advantage."

              "You're not part of the treaties. Why can't you do it?"

              "Because I'm not human. Only humans can take souls out of purgatory without a reaper. Besides in this tumultuous time, it's not in my best interests to leave hell to it's own devices for any length of time."

              "I'm still just... Do you really think that sending me off to my death will keep you from getting killed?"

              "If you succeed it will, if you fail I won't be anymore buggered than I already am, either. Pardon the language." He gives her a polite nod.

              "Do you honestly believe I haven't heard worse? Three of my Aunts and Uncles are hunters. I live in a shelter for hunters. the phrase swears like a sailor should be updated to swears like a hunter." Abigail's expression is every inch her father's in that moment.  
   
              "Yes, well, just because I'm damned doesn't mean I shouldn't be polite." He smiles at her. " I'll tell you what, I'll sweeten the pot. If you do this I promise not to tell your family anything you told me or choose to tell me in the future, and I will should you return, resolve the issue with your marriage to that pagan god."

              "Nice try but you're not allowed to make a deal with or concerning me, remember?"

              "It's not legally binding, doesn't include the soul of either party. Its not a Deal with a capital D."

              "Then take care of it now and without killing them and I'll do my best not to let them find out your part in this."

              "You drive a hard bargain. I accept. I will take care of it within the week. At the end of this week, we will discuss our plan of attack. I would take the tie to prepare yourself. You'll need more than a few daggers in the boots, and an angel blade down your spine to survive purgatory."

               "I don't think a week is enough." She confesses.

               "It is if you come to me during your free period and I take you to hell to learn spells from a very talented witch." He offers. Abigail's not entirely sure how she could do that without getting caught, but if Shelly can get rid of the smell of sulfur enough to get away with her apparently numerous visits, so can she.

               "I'll think about it." Abigail says cautiously, "Where's Shelly's body?"

               "It's safe. And I am taking very good care of George while she's indisposed."

               "Very well." Abigail takes a breath. "Just out of curiosity, who make the complaint about me, or was that just made up?"

               "Oddly no, there's an actually voicing of concern." He pats a paper on his desk. "I just doubt it would have been taken up with you quite so quickly. I can't of course tell you who it was who made it." he pushes it slightly towards her. Years of reading books to the twins and having to do so with the pictures facing them has left her very apt at reading upside down. And of course her name and the persons name are highlighted. Jamal Harris.

               "Understood." She stands up and walks back out to the picnic tables without another word. "Can you give me a minute more? Please?" She asks the girls who don't miss the murderous look in her eyes.

                "What happened?"

                "Free Period." Abigail strides off to the cafeteria, takes JJ by the shirt collar and pulls him away from the trash cans out into the hallways without missing a step.        

                "Um, Abigail? W-what..." He stammers, hoping she's pulled him aside to declare her undying love for him, but really kind of doubts it.

                "You went to the office and complained about my clothing and relatives checking in on me?"

                "W-what? No!" He lies as badly as her father does. Possibly worse as he actually trying.

                "No? I saw the write up on the counselor's desk. How dare you do something like that to me?"

                "I was worried. You weren't acting like yourself. I wasn't complaining I was concerned." He protests.

                "You know me so well? To know what I like, what I'm normally like?"

                "I know you're a modest dresser, quiet, reserved, intelligent studious, well behaved, shy and then all these older men coming to school, giving you things.  And you're hanging around with those stupid giggly things and now you're dressing like you're their queen. Yes. I'm concerned." JJ finally lets his temper get the better of him a little. He was not being unreasonable.

                "They're not stupid and what's wrong with laughter? Laughing is good for you in so many ways..." Abigail stops herself before she can lecture him about the health benefits of laughter and just shakes her head. "Do you even hear yourself? You didn't like that I'm not longer trying to hide from everybody, that I'm making friends, and am actually enjoying their company? Besides which aside from the stalker those men were my relatives taking time to check in one me and make sure I'm safe." She pushes his shoulder away. "What right do you have policing what I wear, who I'm friends with, who I talk to? What even begins to give you the right to .. to humiliate me that way?"

                  "I know we're not dating or anything, but..."JJ tries to save himself but just makes it worse.

                  "And if we were that would give you the right? Oh, Grandpa, do you hear this?" She appeals to the heavens, throwing up her hands which is odd as he didn't even remotely suspect she practiced ancestor worship.  "To think I actually liked you! I mean I knew you were stupid but I didn't think you were this stupid? Do you have any idea how nervous I was about coming to school today? Wearing what I actually liked and not what I thought would be the safest and draw the least attention? Do you?" He's never seen her this angry, before. It makes her attitude towards her cousins seem more like she was just mildly annoyed. "You know, what? maybe this was a good thing. I'm glad I found out before I started dating you what a completely controlling misogynistic jerk you are!" She storms off, leaving the poor bewildered boy close to tears.

 

              While his brother made him aware that his daughter did not have a good day at school today, Raphael was not prepared to come home and find her in her room with her door shut and locked.

              "Boy trouble." Claire informs him, as she watches more of those stupid talk shows, and takes a drink from a bottle of good Nordic mead. "Unless you're prepared to explain to her why men are so stupid in a way that doesn't excuse their stupidity, I'd leave it alone for now." Of course Claire doesn't know how close he and his daughter are, so he gives her a nod of acknowledgement and knocks on her door.

               "Abigail?"

               "Give me a second." She definitely sounds as if she's been crying recently and her eyes are all puffy and she's wiping tears from her eyes. Raphael just hugs his daughter and kisses her forehead for a few moments. "Abba, if you know that not telling someone something would upset them, but telling them would lead to their doing something stupid and dangerous with terrible consequences. What should you do?"

              "That depends on the situation. If the harm caused by telling is reasonably considered far worse than not telling... For instance if telling your uncle about your abduction before we had things in place to settle it would have led to him committing acts that would have arguably caused a war or at least set him back in his recovery significantly, then not telling him while we take care of it ourselves is perfectly acceptable, and the right thing to do, no matter how irritated it made him or how much you might enjoy the thought of him doing to them whatever it is he planned on doing. 

               "On the other hand, should that thing be not telling your father or someone about someone doing something hurtful to you in some way, then it isn't good because then it makes it easier for that person to not only hurt you again, but potentially hurt others."

               "Oh, geez, abba.

“ Abigail laughs, “No, nothing like that. Just… why are boys so stupid?” She blurts out in frustration. Raphael can hear Claire snicker from the living room.

             “Usually because their parents are stupid and their friends are stupid and they’re taught to be stupid in that particular way by multiple sources. People are quick learners and can quickly learn stupid things. What happened?” As she tells him what Jamal did and what she did in response, he feels a little relieved. “He might learn. He is only fifteen. He’s not beyond hope.”

             “Yes, well, when he’s learned he can come talk to me. I deal with enough children already, I don’t need to date one.” She scowls.

             “You… you were dating?” Raphael unsucessfully hides his dismay at the thought that not only is his little Abigail dating but that she didn’t tell him.

             “No. not really. I was trying to gain enough courage to talk to him and maybe ask him out but now even if he doesn’t stay stupid, I’ve lost my temper and just.. I don’t know. I kind of just want to be alone for a while. Okay, Abba?” She breaks away and wipes her eyes.

             “Very well. Just remember that I’m here to talk if you need me. Your aunts and uncles are as well.”

             “I know Abba. Thank you.” She kisses his cheek and slips back into her room, closing the door again behind her.

              “I have to admit it was a good answer.” Claire lifts her beer. “So, what do we do about that Jackass river god and his family?”

              “It’s being taken care of.” Raphael frowns at her. “It would be more helpful if you could help us find Michelle.”

              “Please that little Drama Queen’s just trying to get back at daddy for not letting her keep the hellpup. She’s fine.” Claire shrugs it off.

              “That’s what Helel thinks, but Sam’s simply going to get angry and become even more entrenched in his position when he realizes that, and she’s going to seriously be in trouble. And most definitely won’t get to keep the hound so we need to find her and bring her home before she and her father have their first no holds barred battle of wills. We have Abigail well guarded and she’s waiting patiently for the issue to be resolved and for us to reach a decision about the copy of Courage he gave her. Because she’s a sensible obedient girl who understands why we do things.” He praises her. Claire just snorts, much to his irritation.

              “Famous last words. I hope you’re prepared for the first cut of the apron strings.” She snips an invisible thread in the air. “Hopefully she won’t take as long to do it as you did.” While Raphael understands that Alex talks to her sister about her personal life and frustrations and has every right to do so, he does wish that she hadn’t shared her opinions on his having been overly attached and dependant on Michael. But as he doesn’t wish to start a fight, he just ignores her. If Abigail wants some space, he can give her space. He has faith that should she need advice or help she’ll come to him, but there are somethings you have to work out for yourself.

 

               “Raphi!” Gabriel appears on the counter as he takes a break from staring at Abigail’s still closed and locked bedroom door to take the yorkshire pudding from the oven. “Great news! Hey, hold on, let’s get Abby in here to hear this. Hey! Abby-girl!” She whistles sharply towards her room. “C’mon out I have good news for you!” The door creaks open.

              “Don’t summon my daughter like a stray puppy. You can knock on her door like a normal person.”

              “Please since when has Bree been a normal anything.” Alex comments as she enters the apartment. “Hey, what’s going on? Luci said Abigail had some trouble at school today?”

              “Just a young man being stupid. She handled the situation and just needs some space.” Raphael informs her.

              “Okay?” That could cover a lot of things but they can talk about that later.

               “You called, Aunt Bree?” Abigail walks out looking more solemn and depressed than ever.

               “Yes, We’ve reached an agreement with Asase Ya. She has agreed to annul the marriage, but under the condition that her sons have permission to court Abigail until her eighteenth birthday.”

               “That’s unacceptable.” Raphael snaps.

               “It lets her save face, and the required courtship is one day a week with either Bia or Tano until she’s eighteen. Obviously chaperones are allowed. Of our choosing. I have a feeling that my little girl would find being Abigail’s chaperone far more important that keeping a puppy.”

                “That sounds reasonable.” Abigail says quietly.

                "It does?" Claire sounds surprised.

                "Yes. It's only one day a week until I'm eighteen. That's worth preventing a war. That is if only minimally partly your fault Aunt Bree."Abigail gives her aunt an annoyed look that makes her mother want to dress her in the eeyore footies again. "I can spend saturday with Bia, Sunday with Tano and then skip the next weekend. I'll start this Saturday."

                 "You don't have to agree to do this Abigail." Alex says quickly. "Don't worry about Shelly, or war, they have no right to try and manipulate you into this. And it actually is worth starting a war over. Not just because of you but because if a party to a treaty will threaten dissolution or war to get what they have no right to have, then their bluff should be called. If it's not a bluff, it's better to deal with them now."  
                 "That all makes sense, but I'm fairly sure that if I have Shelly as my guardian and bring the twins along with us on our visits, perhaps overnight since i'll be seeing them each back to back, we can make sure they regret ever trying this."Abigail gives a wicked smile. "I don't mind torturing them all a day a week until I'm eighteen. If you'll excuse me now, I need some time to think." Abigail goes back to her room.

                 "I know I've said this but I kind of think she's spending a little too much time with Luci." Claire looks pointedly at Alex. Raphael almost agrees, though for some reason Alex just looks amused. 

                 "THOSE LITTLE SHITS!" They hear Abigail exclaim after a minute, and watch her run back out of her room to the other apartment covered in glitter. Gabriel laughs as the twins start to yell for help across the hall

                  "I'd better go save them." Alex sighs as no one else seems particularly inclined to intervene. 

                  "Stay out of my room! OUT! Do you understand me?" 

                  "Hello?" The intercom crackles, "This is Tris. Can I come up and see Abigail?" 

                  "Of course. I'll bring you right up." Raphael replies and walks into the hallway. "Abigail, Your friend Tris is here to see you."

                  "Would you walk both ways? I just need a moment to finish bedazzling the twins hair." He hears from the other apartment.  Raphael just quietly shakes his head and walks down the stairs to answer the door. The older the twins get the clearer it becomes that Helel and Michael are entirely responsible for Gabriel being Gabriel. 

                  "Abigail?" Tris looks into the door of the twins apartment where they can hear the twins desperate apologies as the glittery Abigail sits on their backs, knees on each spine, and puts the last gem on their short brown locks. Seeing how pissed off Abigail is, Tris refrains from laughing.

                  "You're sure about this. "Alex looks to her Luci.

                  "Seems more than fair to me."

                  "Now, are you going to put a glitter bomb in my safe again?" Abigail puts the bedazzler down and grabs the back of their necks. They shake their heads. "Good."

                   "To be fair, we did that almost a year ago, after your birthday." The purple and yellow bedazzled one pouts as Abigail gets off of them.

                   "Why did you start using it now?" The blue and orange bedazzled child wrinkles his nose. There's a good amount of glitter that shed on them from their cousin.

                   "Ah, glitter." Tris grins. "The devil's herpes." 

                   "Excuse me?" Abigail's uncle straightens up sounding offended for some reason, as her father bursts out laughing, more than is really appropriate. Unless, of course, her uncle is the devil.

                   "Actually it's 'the devil's confetti' and 'the herpes of craft supplies."Abigail's mom corrects Tris, with a barely restrained smile.

                   "Not anymore." Raphael smiles at his brother who flips him off as the girls return to the apartment.

                   "If either of you repeat that you will eat sleep and breathe glitter for a month." Luci points to his children.

                   "Then we'll just have to tell everyone our father gave us herpes." The two grin.

                   "Alex?"Luci says calmly, the smiles quickly leaving the twins face.

                   "Right, no witnesses." Alex leaves, closing the door behind her.  It's eerily quiet behind them but she knows that as creative and unusual as Luci's punishments can be, they won't involve harming the twins, physically or psychologically. "So," She puts an arm around her husbands waist. "Boy trouble?"

                    "Boy trouble. She'll be fine." He reassures her.

                    "Would you care to elaborate?" Alex prods. "Or did she swear you to secrecy?"

                    "Nope, this boy she liked decided that her new clothes and open friendly demeanor merited concern and went to the school counselor to have them do an intervention. They had absolutely nothing better to do, it seems, and called her back in the middle of the school day. She immediately took the boy to task very severely and had written him off as a romantic prospect. So the problem is now resolved." The sincere belief of this is both endearing and heartbreaking.           

                    "Oh, Raph." Alex reaches up to pat his cheek. "The problem has just started."


	12. Back Through The Looking Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail finalizes her plans, and has a bad start

         The girls are all glaring at him. They’ve been glaring at him all week. Mostly because Abigail’s gone back to her quiet self, only quieter, more thoughtful and clearly more depressed. He’s not sure if she told them what he did, or they heard the constant repeating of the lecture she gave him that some asshole caught on his phone and passed around to his friends and eventually the whole school. Possibly YouTube so all the world could see his humiliation. His sister saw it of course and called him an idiot, his father declined to comment and his mother, well, claimed Abigail clearly overreacted, but at the same time made it clear he was an idiot. So nothing out of the ordinary at home.

        Plus she hasn’t been in  study hall at all this week. And spend all her free time writing and consulting papers that sure as hell aren’t english. Now he’s even more worried and he knows it’s his fault. She probably never wants to speak to him ever again. Should he apologize? He got her some flowers since it seems to work for the twins, but then again they are absurdly adorable. 

        “Miss Jones?”JJ slowly walks up to her as she exchanges books in her locker. “Abigail? I.. I’m sorry.” He apologizes and holds out the small bouquet of lavender and babysbreath. “I didn’t mean to hurt you or.. or control you or say what you can do. I really more worried. I just felt something was wrong and I didn’t... I’m sorry.”

          “I’m sorry, too. Things have been going wrong a lot and I just lost my temper with you. I shouldn’t have said what I said the way I did.” She looks so lovely smelling the bouquet.”

           “So you don’t think I’m stupid?” JJ can’t help but ask.

           “Well, I mean, just in that way most boys are stupid, and you’re very sweet and adorkable and.. no one else could be as patient with the twins as you are. Thank you so much for that. I… can I ask you a favor?”

           “Anything.” He quickly agrees. She takes a folder out of her locker and hands it to him.

           “Could you keep this for me? I can’t keep the twins out of my room or my safe apparently.”

           “You’re not afraid I’d read it or something?” The question, stupidly asked, gets a smile from her at least.

           “I don’t think you could if you wanted to. Go ahead, look.” Abigail nods to it. He opens that folder and just stares at the clear lovely flowering lines of not english and not using any known alphabet.

          “Oh, I see. How long should I…?”

          “Until either I came back for it or one of my relatives asks. If you don’t recognize them as my relatives, they’re not my relatives.” She instructs firmly.

          “Okay... This isn’t a suicide note or something.” He half jokes though he feels kind of unsure about this.

          “No.” She smiles. “Just private stuff. Thank you.” Her gratitude shakes all the doubts loose and the quick kiss on the cheek she gives him destroys them entirely. Abigail closes her locker and turns back to him. “I’m sorry I should have asked permission.”

          “Huh? Oh! No! Feel free.” He reassures her. “When ever. Whatever.”

          “Okay.” She just looks at him a minute and kisses him, softly on the lips for three entire seconds. “Goodbye Jamal.”

          “Bye.” He tries to speak but nothing comes out. ‘I… I’ll see you monday!” JJ calls as she goes into the office. He should have asked for her number, or offered to carry her bags. It looks heavy. Should he go after her? No. He’ll see her monday. And he’ll have to ask his sister how not to screw it up again. And he’ll definitely absolutely have to find a good safe place for this precious, precious folder.

 

         “Abigail.” Crowley nods as she enters as the counselor’s office. “I take it you are ready to discuss a plan of action.”

         “Yes.” Abigail takes out an identical folder to the one she gave Jamal and hands him a copy. “I’ve researched the treaty as well as several traveling spells. Once I have my visits with Bia and Tano this weekend I’ll have two weeks before I have to be back and not violate the treaty.”

         “Speaking of which, unless you can offer verifiable proof that you engineered this solution, I will not consider your half fulfilled.”

         “Feel free to verify with your former mother in law. “He hands her a copy of the contract. “I was thinking you could get your suitors to prove their love and devotion by taking you to purgatory.”

          “Oh no they can’t. And they’re not allowed to go anywhere with me outside parental approved visits,” She shakes her head pointing to the other paper. “And the last thing I need is to give them leverage they can use to manipulate me, no, I’m going alone. I’ll going alone. I’ll get help on the other side.”

          “The other side?”

          “After the visit, I will come to hell go to the hell in the other thread take the short cut to purgatory there go back to this one, get Shelly, and leave. You will meet me there with Shelly’s body so she can be resurrected and I can take her home. Hopefully before another week goes by. That reminds me, where’s her puppy?” Crowley looks down and picks up a small invisible dog from his lap, placing it on the desk.

          “She ordered her to guard me. She hasn’t left my side.” He shakes his head. Abigail takes a pair of glasses out of her backpack and puts them on. To her credit she doesn’t flinch at the sight of it.

           “Hello, George.”The puppy immediately  scrambles over and starts licking her face. He smells more like cotton candy, then before. “Would you like to go find Shelly with me?” The puppy gives a whimper.” You want to find Shelly? Help me find Shelly in purgatory? Yes, I thought so. Yes, I did. Aw that’s a good ugly widdle… oh my god!” She gives a start as she catches sight of Crowley, then winces and covers her eyes in embarrassment. “Sorry, Grandpa.” She murmurs. But Crowley’s true face is unbelievable hideously dark and deformed as if the fires of hell just turned him into charcoal.  Honestly George looks cuter by comparison.

            “She eats the souls of the damned, and apparently candy, ghosts, and any sould fed to her, like the greedy little bitch she is.” Abigail chooses to ignore him and pets the puppy.

            “I see you have a map of purgatory, the entire huntress collection from Luci’s Garden, a mirror?”

            “That’s what Dad uses to talk to his other self in the other thread. replaced it with a copy yesterday. They don’t talk until wednesday as it’s Dad’s day off, so with luck I may even be back by then. “ Abigail closes her bag.

            “Ah, yes, the optimism of youth.” Crowley sighs.

            “It’s not optimism. I’ve made plans for every possible contingency. I am prepared for every possibility. Imaginable and I don’t intend to waste any time in doing so. Abigail frowns.

            “I hate to break it to you poppet, but the things that get you are the ones you didn’t imagine. What happens when you come across something you didn’t foresee?” He asks her pointedly.

            “I call Abba or Grandpa and ask for help. I know very well I may fail or may die, but I don’t trust you enough to reveal everything to you or take too much of your advice. I trust you only so much as it’s in your best interests to be trustworthy.” 

            “That makes you ahead of the curve already.” Crowly reaches over to pat her unamused head.

            “So, if I’m trusting you,” Abigail continues, ignoring the condescending gesture. “It’s definitely, absolutely in your best interests to be trustworthy.”

             “What an adorable little threat.” He looks at her wistfully as she continues not to care in the slightest. “But I assure you, I am a bit out of your league.”

             “I never said I was the one you’d have to worry about.” She gives the slightest almost smug smile that pisses him off for a brief moment. “And I wasn’t threatening you at all. I was just giving you a perspective on the situation you may have missed.” 

             “I see. Very sensible of you.” His smile turns a bit more sincere. “Very well, you have my number. I believe you have everything as well planned as you can, I wish you luck and look forwards to seeing you after your visit.”

              “We’ll leave before first period.” Abigail nods and gets to her feet, walking out of the office to go home.

 

              “Alright, kiddo.” Claire kisses Abigail’s forehead. “I hate to say it, but I have to get back to work. It was good seeing you.” She accepts the hug from her niece. “Wonderful seeing the twins putting their mischief to good use, tag teaming and torturing Bia and Tano.”  

            And that part really was wonderful. They did all the simple easy mundane pranks they could, to test the waters for further visits. They superglued the pickle jar shut, so that when Bia applied his godlike strength to opening it, he broke the jar instead, getting covered in pickle juice and glass. They switched the salt and sugar, loosened the pepper lid, they even put saran wrap on the toilet seats and monopolized and interrupted the conversation any time Bia started getting a little forwards. They seasoned his chili with swat grade pepper spray. 

             They kind of left Tano alone since all he did was just sit there, ask Raphael a few questions about technique to encourage regrowth after drought, cook dinner, and read one of Abigail’s books until the evening came. He seemed about as thrilled with the whole thing as she is. Of course the twins pulled the pepper spray trick again, on the entire dish and not just his this time, though it seemed Bia did not warn his little brother about them at all. Much to his credit he just gave it a final taste, stood there, and threw it out before ordering delivery for everyone instead. His courtship ended with him spending a few hours talking with Alex in a private therapy session which was kind of strange.

            “Are you alright?” Claire looks down as Abigail gives her an extremely long hug goodbye.

             “I’m okay. I’ll be okay.” She corrects herself. “It’s just… Shelly…”

             “Gotcha.” Claire kisses the top of her head. “I’m going to go looking for her. She is Hel’s baby sister, so it falls in the realm of the valkyrie to find the little runaway, even if she’s just acting out right now and not in actual trouble yet.”

              “Is… is there anything I can do?” Abigail’s voice is very small and quiet, and she hasn’t let go yet. 

              “Yeah, stay out of trouble.” Claire pats her back, or more accurately her backpack. “ We got this. I promise. She’s just fine, I promise. She’s just throwing a tantrum, that’s all. If you could work up a few worried tears to send her way, though, remind her that more people than just her father are hurt by her disappearance…”

              “Okay.” Abigail looks up, forcing a smile.

              “And your father’s going to be picking you up after school.”

              “Oh.” Abigail isn’t sure what to say, though it makes her feel uncomfortable. “Very well. Stay safe.” She breaks away. “I love you, Aunt Claire.”

              “Love you, too.” Claire watches her as Abigail heads to the high school. 

              There’s been alot less death there lately, which is a good thing. But oddly troubling. She kind of just wants to stay with her. Just wait here, make sure everything’s okay, but it’s Abigail. She’s not a Winchester at all in the slightest degree. She’s steady, dependable, rational, you don’t have to worry about her doing anything stupid or reckless or getting into trouble and not immediately asking for help. At worst, she’ll do stupid human things like falling in love with the wrong (hopefully human) boy or something.  Which reminds her. “Try not to get pregnant!”  Claire yells after her. The horrified look Abigail gets at this is reassurance enough. The girl immediately hides her face and hurries inside. God, she’s gotten so big.

 

              Abigail looks around the halls. This can’t be the right place. It looks like a disco ball threw up over everything. Well, if Aunt Bree was the devil in this thread, it sort of makes sense. It is loud and obnoxious, at least visually. She adjusts her backpack with her free hand and takes the leash out of her pocket.

              “Okay, George.” She fastens it around George’s neck. “Time to go greet Shelly. But go slow now because I’m human and not particularly athletic.” Abigail endures a cotton candy slobbering and kisses the puppy before putting her down on the floor. “That’s a good girl.” Abigail let’s her run ahead as they go down the hall. It’s amazingly bare and empty. Why would hell be empty? Of course, they didn’t tell her all that much about what happened when they were over here. Her father especially didn’t want to talk about it.

              It’s not hot or cold and it’s quiet. Maybe she’s in the wrong place. She can’t imagine any place made by her aunt in any thread of existence being this quiet. George starts to give a yip and pull her forwards. Does she smell something? It’s in the direction they want to go so she follows her as fast as she can.

              “Well, this is unexpected.” She looks up to see, sitting on the top of one of the pillars, the bluish glow of angels grace visible in the glasses, not a lot but enough to make it clear what he is. George is barking and jumping up trying to get to the ice cream come he’s eating. “ That is one horrifyingly ugly dog.”

               “Her name is George. She’s a hellhound.” Abigail says politely.

               “Really? Because she looks like some deformed miniature version of a soul hound. You know those ones the reapers use for the hard cases. Which is especially strange because they have like two at any given time. And I’m sure I’d have heard them bitching if one of them birthed this kind of abomination.” But he lets some ice cream fall off the cone anyways. George quickly eats it up. “That ice cream isn’t made out of souls by the way. it’s Coldstone.”

               “She’s not miniature anything she’s a puppy.” Abigail says slowly bending down to pet george and better access the knife in her boots. “You greedy thing. You were looking for the ice cream, huh?” The angel just lights down, blocking the way past the pillars. “If you don’t mind, could I pass by you without trouble?” 

               “It’s the boundaries of hell, you know that, right?” He looks at her oddly. Her lack of reaction implies that she does, or really really doesn’t. “This particular fun house is not a good place to be.”

               “You mean, unlike the paradise that is the rest of hell?” Abigail can’t help but mouth off at this, but he did start it.

               “Yeah, comparatively. What could you possibly want in there? And do you have permission to go there?”

               “I have someplace I have to get to and something I need to retrieve. It’s very important.” She looks up at him, her face determined.

               “Yeah, I think I’m going to have to take you to some sort of grown up actual authority figure about this instead.” He reaches down, but Abigail has her knife out. “Pretty little thing, but I’m an ang...ow!” He exclaims as his attempt to grab it fails spectacularly. “What the bloody hell was that?” He moves back reflexively.

                  “Either help me or get out of my way.”

                  “You little shit!” He holds his bleeding, grace-exposed hand to his chest. George starts to growl a small but fearsome growl at him, like a baby nightmare. “You’re a winchester aren’t you? Or a Campbell. Can’t forget those pain in the asses. They’re fucking everywhere.”

                   “No. I’m not.”

                   “Well, regardless, little girl. This is hell. You don’t belong here. At least not while still alive. So goodbye.” He snaps his fingers but nothing happens. “I am not fighting a damned child! This is ridiculous. And for your own good, you know. Do your parents know you’re running around hell with some mini monster dog? He scolds her, continuing to block the way. “Cassie! A little help? I’m not good with children!” He brings up a small circle of flames around Abigail and the puppy who starts to bat at the fire oddly without injury and starts jumping through them like they’re a ring of sprinklers. This doesn’t seem to douse them any.  “What do you mean you’re busy?” The angel exclaims putting his hands on his hips. “I think Ben can handle one session of training without instant healing for one second. We’ve got some teeny bopper baby huntress thing down here with a tiny deformed soul hound puppy trying to get to the boundaries of hell and I can’t… No! I can’t. Now you need to get down here and help me get her out of here and back to earth before she gets herself killed!”

                  “I am perfectly able to take care of myself thank you. And I have someplace I have to be!” Abigail snaps, reaching back for the mini extinguisher in her backpack and sprays a large enough patch of flames to walk through, which she does.

                  “And she speaks enochian apparently!” He exclaims. “Alright, fine, lover, do your little medic stint. Who needs you anyways? I just don’t want to fucking hurt some lost little kid.” He snaps up a net and tosses it tightly over Abigail, trying to confine her. “Alright, you little brat, come here and be prepared to explain yourself a little better than you have, before I call the big guhhh-mother fucker!” He hops as George sinks his teeth into his leg, and tries to shake her off. That gives Abigail enough time to cut through the net. He grabs her by the arm with one hand, before she can pass, trying to pry George off with the other.

                   Unfortunately Abigail can now reach his blade, which she grabs and whispers a small spell of velocity that involves spitting on said blade and manages to pin his shoulder to the pillar behind him. He lets loose a string of enochian curses that she was definitely not taught and finally shakes the puppy off his leg sending it down the hall. Abigail manages to pull away and runs to the dog, fleeing as fast as she can.  

                    Of everything she planned for she did not expect to find an angel in hell, any hell. He was going to send her to earth, which she absolutely can’t go. it’s possible this thread’s Claire Novak won’t count at all, like Aunt Claire didn’t when she became a valkyrie, but she it’s not a risk she’s willing to take. Of course, running as fast as she could may not have been the best idea as she now has no idea where she is even remotely. She ran the right way, but there are turns not on the map and it looks like the halls aren’t even straight to begin with.

                     “Maybe I could have handles that better.” Abigail holds George to her chest as it starts to get cold. She’s so warm, it’s wonderful. “We’re completely lost. Think we should try summoning a reaper?” She looks around. Empty silent and dark. And getting darker. The halls are getting shorter, disappearing into the shadows, not that she knows where the light’s coming from, anyways. “George?” Abigail ties the broken ends of the leash, and look to the encroaching darkness. “Think you can find a way out?” Not that she has a real reason to believe she can but she is out of ideas. George wags her honey tail and when Abigail puts her down she walks closer to the dark, sniffing at the edges and just backs up. Each edge that grows smaller and smaller around them makes her whimper. A step too far back makes the puppy start to drop off, but abigail quickly pulls her back up and moves with her back to the wall. Suddenly the floor just drops as the wall is eaten by darkness, Abigail’s screams are eaten by the nothingness around her.


	13. The Fun House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail does not fare well in the nightingale's fun house.  
> Ben's day isn't going so well either.

            Ben sits on the bench catching his breath as Castiel stops training to go check on his boyfreind.

            “You need to stay hydrated.” His guardian angel hands him a bottle of gatorade. He just rolls his eyes and takes a drink before resting his head on his angel’s shoulder. “Are you hungry? I could get you something. You’ve eaten everything we have.”

             “What, everything?” Ben laughs. The angel gives him a solemn nod. “Well, Hara what can I say, I am a growing boy.”

             “A man now, really, but yes, you’re still growing.” 

             “I’m good. I just want to rest a little until he gets back. Sing me a lullabye?”

             “No.” His angel stops and listens quietly. “Yes, sir.”

             “Everything okay?”

             “He’s not coming back for a while. Balthazar needs help in the borders. A small; child has apparently found it’s way into hell and is lost in the boundaries.”  

             “What?” Ben sits up. “How did he get past him?”

             “He refuses to say. Bust you can just go to bed if you’re tired. I have to go back to the library anyways.”

              “Okay, should… do they need mom to help?”

              “They haven’t said so, so probably not. Goodbye Ben. Don’t forget your homework.” The angel kisses his cheek.

              “I won’t. Later, Hara.” He returns the kiss and picks up his jacket before heading inside. How can he forget his homework? He has enough of it middle school, enochian, spells, angelic history. It’s like all he ever does is study. Or train. Dad got him into little league a few years ago, but his grades started to dip and apparently training was both more important and sufficient exercise. Sure sometimes mom will come and take him off on vacation, but only is the summer. And he always comes back to even more work. More studying more training. More twins telling him how easy he has it, how it only gets harder from there. Of course no one told Mary Ellen she had to go to law school and no one told BJ to go to medical school. They chose that. But Ben? NO. No choices for Ben just train and study, train and study.

             “Hey, Benny boy.” He hears as he enters the back door and looks over to see his uncle getting some of grandma’s beer from the fridge. 

              “Hey, Uncle Dean. Mom and Dad aren’t here.” He informs him, and heads to the fridge.

              “I know, my wife’s off on a hunting trip with your father, and your mother has her hands full ruling heaven, so it’s just us. Want to go catch a movie? Get some angel approved sushi at that new place by the grocery store.” 

              “I can’t. I have too much homework. Thanks though.” Ben heads up the stairs.

              “Alright. Well, if you change your mind, you know where to find me. Have you eaten? Do you need me to fix you something before I go? Where’s your nanny?” Ben looks down at this. His uncle is leaning on the bannister.

               “Harahel, my guardian angel, had to go back to the library. It is his actual job, you know. And I’m fine. Thanks. I’m thirteen, I can make a pbj all by myself now. And without adult supervision,too, if you can believe it.” 

                “Alright, smart ass. Point taken. Tommorrow’s Saturday, do you want to come on a ride along?”

               “I’d love to, but homework and training and mom said I’m not allowed to do that anyways.” Ben turns back and goes into his room.

               “Who’d tell her? Look, a day off wouldn’t kill you.” His uncle grumbles, refraining from voicing his opinion on Ben’s parents and their parenting style. “Alright, I’m heading home then, unless you need me to stay over tonight.”

                “I’m thirteen, Uncle Dean.”

                “Yeah. Grandma should be back soon anyways. Later kid.”

                “Bye, Uncle Dean.” Ben plops down on his bed. He thought turning thirteen would be something good, or fun because his mother considered it the start of manhood. Maybe some responsibilities, more privileges more freedom, maybe even going on a few hunting trips with Grandma or Aunt Jo. Not that his mother had even been anything but clear about him not going hunting, or doing anything like that until she decided he was ready, but he was hoping that after all this, with her saying that he’s now reached the age of manhood, that might be now. But no. 

                The freedom he got was the freedom of choosing what order the school work he had to do was done in. The responsibilities were just more chores helping Uncle Michael keep the house in good repair and helping grandma with the car. Hunting trips are now officially flat out out-of-the-question until he finishes high school with no exceptions. The privileges were simply the privilege of staying home alone when his parents were busy, one that quickly grew dull after the first week.

                Ben sighs and looks at the ceiling. He does a need a break but he has to do his work here. Aunt Bree pointed out that it’s better to explain away doing his work at home where they can see it and having fun away in private than explaining how he plays all day and gets his massive amounts of homework done in the time left. And while he’d love to spend some time with Uncle Dean and going out, the time he actually ends up having off is so very little he can’t afford to try and survive off of it instead of his time in the fun house. Anyways, maybe he can find that child on the way and steer him towards the angels. He does have pretty much free passage through it.  If the kids not dead already.

               The smell of cotton candy and rotten eggs wakes Abigail, as do the licks of an oddly slobbery hellpup. You’d wouldn’t think a dog that doesn’t consume anything but candy and souls would be so… slobbery, but she is.

                “Hello, George.” She gives a sharp gasp as she moves. She landed on her arm and it seems to be broken. She also hit her head fairly hard. There’s a bump, probably a concussion. Her backpack’s still intact. It’s dark enough that she can’t see, but she it doesn’t feel like anythings missing or fell out. The mini lantern is right on top. The glow of it reveals what looks like a hall of mirrors.

               It’s a lot harder to fashion a scarf into a sling one handed than she expected it to be. And putting the backpack back on, though she’s especially glad about the front straps since they take pressure off her shoulder and arm. She didn’t hurt her legs as she landed on something soft and uneven, and it was falling sideways because of whatever that was, that broke her arm and hurt her head.  She holds the lantern up and looks towards her feet, there’s a dead body there. Several. George resumes munching on them, they’re fairly insubstantial it seems. She hopes. 

                “ George, Stop it.” She scolds her. “We have to find some way out of here. Or to a place with enough space to summon a reaper.” Abigail holds up the lantern and starts walking. After a few turns, it becomes clear that it’s a mirror maze, so she put her wrist through the handle of the lantern and places her uninjured left hand on the mirrors, feeling her way down the halls.

                 After about half an hour, her hand passes through one of the mirrors disappearing into it entirely. There’s no pain or discontent flare, or the feel of anything so Abigail slowly slides her foot though. Solid ground. Still no pain or injury. George gives a yip and excitedly runs through, so quickly the leash held losely in her hand is pulled off.

                “George!” She rushes after him but stops as bright lights and loud noise assail her senses. A lot of different manic laughter from a bad sound system repeats over and over and when she gets used to the light she sees big colorful deformed clown faces with large open mouths filled with sharp teeth and forked tongues, bright blinking red eyes all around her. One has a bloody body in it’s mouth that it’s almost chewing as it goes ‘ha. ha. ha.’ in a stiff mechanical monotone. Abigail almost immediately throws up.

                 She tries to tell herself it’s just clown heads or masks, but this is hell so they’re not just clown heads. They can’t be just clown heads. Why would there be freaky but normal halloween style clown heads just hanging in the air in some weird place in hell? There wouldn’t be! Because clowns are not actually evil, not really, they’re just people in weird make up trying to draw humor from a manifestation of the absurd. They’re harmless and funny and fun, in intention, and failing is not evil. But in reality they’re just freaky wraiths of the uncanny valley and this is hell so they are absolutely not going to be anything like that and are more likely to be the vile evil wharped and twisted monstrosities they appear to be!

                  Abigail still manages to hold it somewhat together though until she feels a hand grasping her shoulder from behind.

                 “Excu…” The voice is interrupted by her instinctual blood curdling scream. Whoever, whatever it is grabs her by the waist, and the other covering her mouth before taking off to the left just as all the clown heads start to chase after them.  “Ow! Stop it!” He snaps as Abigail tries to bite his hand. “Hold on.” Abigail gets tossed into the middle of a giant squirting flower and slides down the hose into a dark mess of water that drops her into a lush green garden.

 

                   Ben slows his scent into the garden with his not as big as the rest of him wings so he doesn’t land on the… that is not a small child, that’s a teenage girl, or almost one. Ben kneels down by her, she’s passed out. Alright, unconscious check the head first. He places his hands on their head and closes his eyes to see it properly, yeah, severe concussion. Ease the swelling patch up the damage.  Just listen to the song, listen the lovely elegant song and put it back in tune.

                   “Ow!” He exclaims as something lands on his back and somehow manages to bite into his wings through there either.

                   “George! Bad dog!” The girls smacks the things which whimpers and lets go. He swallows his curses and looks at her. She’s not very tall, not like him. Of course she is human. And holding the ugliest soul hound puppy he’s ever seen who swallows several of his dimmed bluish feathers. It’s also a female dog.

                  “You named a female dog, George?” He asks reaching back to rub his shoulder.

                  “No, my cousin did. This is her dog. I’m trying to find her. Thank you for helping me, but I can manage from here.” She responds rather rudely in his opinion.

                  “You do know you’re in hell, don’t you? In the fun house.” He straightens up.

                  “I know this is hell. Do people usually wander into hell accidentally? That you assume I wouldn’t?”

                  “Let me take care of your arm.” He chooses to ignore her testy reply and motions to her broken arm. She just looks at him suspiciously. “Or do you prefer it broken and useless?”

                  “I prefer not to give access to my body to strangers.” She steps back, ungratefully.

                  “I just helped you! And I didn’t ask for… for access to your body.” He can’t say the phrase without his cheeks burning. He’s a blusher like his mother and it’s embarrassing as anything.

                  “Well, as you so helpfully pointed out this is hell.” She gives him a cold pointed stare, with those burnt copper lips set firmly together. Ben just scowls at her for a minute, then shakes his head and walks off towards the middle of the garden. Fine. She can’t get out of here without his help anyways. This part is the garden but for those souls trying to escape it’s called the mousetrap. You have to have special permission to leave or be with someone who does when you go or you can’t get out. It’s a lovely place, and so people were completely unprepared for what happened when the Nightingale returned to her sanctuary and found she’d caught someone. Of course that’s not that way it is anymore.

                    “When you’re ready to talk reasonably, let me know.” Ben pushes aside the branches of a giant willow and steps inside. The n64 is still set up with new games. All rated E because Aunt Bree has a sense of humor and her husband does not. He almost puts in animal crossing, but the thought of those eyes giving him a laughing disdainful look when that girl finds him playing with little talking animals, makes him reconsider. 

                   Halfway through the first section of one of the Zeldas, he smells something burning. did she set fire to the garden? Is she trying to burn her way out? Or… oh dear lord, she’s casting a spell. Ben scrambles out of the bean bag and runs towards the scent just as a reaper appears. Not too happy about the reaper trap underneath it.

                   “What are you doing?” He yells and quickly scratches through the outer ring.

                   “Excuse me!” The girl exclaims indignantly.

                   “I am so sorry, auntie.” Ben apologizes to the reaper.

                    “You. Why am I not surprised?” She frowns at him, which is completely unfair and totally uncalled for. He only did that spell under his mother’s direct guidance and instruction. It’s not his fault she didn’t think to inform the reapers first. 

                   “I didn’t summon and trap you!” He protests.

                   “Oh you had nothing to do with this? I will assume that is true, given who’s son you are, but that still does not explain why you brought a girl down to hell. Especially as she was just obviously using you to get here.”

                  “What did you just say?” The girl widens her eyes indignantly.

                  “Regardless hell is not an appropriate lovenest. Not even the FunHouse,” The reapers ignores her continuing to scold him. The look the girl gives him at that makes him understand a little better why the angels and reapers don’t get along so well. “Now take her back home at once or I will be telling your mother about this unacceptable behavior.”

                  “What? No! She’s not.. this is not a … I  mean, this is not  my…”

                  “I don’t even know this person.” The girl recovers, though her angry almost insulted tone is more than a little hurtful. “I just need you to tell me how to get to purgatory. Please it’s important.” She begs.

                  “No. Now if you’ll excuse me, none of us have work to do.” The reaper snaps and vanishes.

                  “You speak enochian?” The girl has the gall to ask him.

                  “Yes. I speak enochian. Half my family speaks enochian so of course I speak enochian.” He can’t help but feel both humiliation and embarrassment welling up within him. “I am the child of an angel.” He reaches out suddenly grabbing her arm to heal it. “What are you doing here? Why do you need to get to purgatory? And what the hell is that thing?!” he points at the puppy growling at her feet.  She just remains silent and pissed off. As if he’s not the one going out of his way to try and help her, putting himself out, trying to heal her injuries. “You know my uncle takes a very dim view of people who invade his realm. And he’s the one angel that the reapers don’t despise.” and she still just glares at him wordlessly, with those big chocolate eyes filled with pure venom.

                  “I do have permission to be here, you know.” He feels oddly uncomfortable. “And it’s not a… a love nest. I just… Who are you?!”

                  “Who are you?” She demands infuriatingly. 

                  “I’m the angel who’s going to tie you into a fucking pretzel if you don’t start showing me some respect that’s who!” Dear god it’s like his Aunt Bree just lept into his brain and comes out his mouth. Why? Why did he say something like that?

                  “Don’t you threaten me.” Her majesty slowly reaches behind her back for something. Ben quickly grabs a her wrist and gets behind her, twisting it up. Her backpacks in the way but ripping it off isn’t a problem. It’s a decent scuffle but he manages to pin her to the ground, and uses the scarf sling to bind her surprisingly baby soft hands and forearms together behind her back. She smells like exotic spices. Why the hell is he noticing this in a fight. Men don’t notice things like that!  He ties the leash around her ankles so that when the dog comes at him it just pulls it tighter.  When that’s done, he sits down far enough away that the dog can’t reach him and catches his breath. This day has become a weird and disturbing nightmare. Having to both save and forcibly subdue some little indigenous teen vogue beauty queen, wearing body glitter. Body glitter! The one thing he does know is that he is so screwed right now and definitely needs some water and to stay far enough away from that girl that she doesn’t think he’s going to hurt her or… or something hellish.

 

                   Abigail turns herself over onto her back qas George whimpers and licks her cheek. On the plus side, her rm’s no longer broken but some pearly haired siren calling himself an angel has her things, she’s tied up in some part of hell’s Fun House whatever that is. It doesn’t sound good though and she has no idea how to get out of this,out of this place or where to go even if she did. It’s no good calling to Abba because he’s not in this thread. She feels a bit too ashamed to call her Grandpa. This was obviously the wrong decision to make. But she can’t let Shelly stay dead and in purgatory or let her family start a war over getting her back. Of course not there might be the same trouble because of her going missing and probably dying in here.

                  “Grandpa?” She loses her eyes so as not to have to see the mess she’s gotten herself into. “ I need help and I don’t know where else to turn, or what to do. Please, if there’s anything you can do or tell me or… or something. Just… please?”

                   There’s a soft comforting sensation like a kiss on the forehead and an apologetic whispered ‘no’ in her ear. No? The first words she ever hears from her grandfather is him telling her no? She’s never asked him for anything before. Anything! If it were Shelly asking him, he’d probably have given a real answer. He once ressurrected a courage for her when she was a year old because she cried, but when the same dog who’d been with Abigail her entire life just… died of old age, and breaks her heart, nothing.  Shelly’s always getting things, always asking for things. or just taking them like they belong to her. Stupid frivolous things and she gets them. But Abigail does for herself as much and as often as she can and behaves herself and thought so hard about this whole thing and the first thing she ever really asks for from him he says no?

                   Abigail takes a breath and pulls herself up into a sitting position. It takes a few tries but the training at the hunter’s school’s paid off. Unfortunately the effort is too exhausting for her to keep up her anger at her grandfather’s heartlessness. What did she expect anyways. It’s all her own fault anyways, this whole situation. She’s the one who made the decision, she’s the one who deceived her parents and made the stupid plan and .. and.. much to her dismay, she starts to cry. She tries to fight it, but the more she does the more she’s aware of how much trouble she’s in and what that could do and that even her grandfather’s forsaken her so she’s all alone here, maybe she should have had Bia or Tano come with here, at the very least. But could she really trust them? What was the right thing to do? She just doesn’t know. 

                  “Shhh.” Strong warm arms encircle her and let her cry oh his shoulders, until she can’t cry anymore. “I’m sorry. I could have handled that better.” He wipes her eggs with his sleeve, and even her nose a little, much to her chagrin. “Let’s start over, okay? my name’s Ben. What’s yours?”

                  “Abigail.” She sniffs, not meeting his eyes.

                  “Hi, Abigail. I’m not a fallen angel or anything. This is the outskirts of hell, but it’s the caretakers private refuge. Time passes differently here than it does back on earth so when I need break, I sometimes slip away and come here to relax. My parents don’t know about this, only my Aunt. So if you could just… not tell anyone maybe?” He gives her a soft smile.

                  “My parents don’t know I’m here either.” Abigail admits. “There’s kind of a situation back home. My cousin Michelle, Shelly, died doing something brave and selfless and stupid and got sent to purgatory. She’s not eally supposed to be there, but as thigns are there’s just too many treaties and agreements and if any of our relatives a do anything about it, there could be a major supernatural war, so I decided to go get her myself. I’m old enough not to need constant supervision, but young enough not to be held to the treaties as firmly. I didn’t tell them so as to make sure they’re not legally liable. They don’t even know she’s dead yet. I just… I just need to get into purgatory and get her soul and take the portal out. That’s all.”

                   “That’s.. purgatory’s a real place?” Ben frowns.

                   “Yes. That’s where they put the leviathan and where all the monsters and nephilim go when they die. It’ll be okay once I get there. my uncle made it fairly safe and stable and secure if case she died before they could negotiate with the reapers into changing the default destination for nephilim and allowing them the possibility of getting into heaven. They’re not getting very far yet.” Abigail can’t help but look at his eyes.  Light almost ice blue with a little green, like the sky reflected in a lake with new leaves floating on it in spring.

                   “Nephilim get sent to purgatory when they die?” He asks quietly sitting back in silence. He looks so pensive and thoughtful and just so very beautiful, like a pocelain doll. Perfectly wavy platinum hair, a few months past a need for a trim, tall for his age, or maybe just baby faced. He didn’t know about purgatory. She should have thought of a better way to bring it up or leave it out entirely. “I think it would be useful if I could find a back door out of it then.”

                   “That’s true.” She lets herself give a hopeful smile.

                   “Alright. We have some time to get organized, and you need a little break. So.. c’mon. I have snacks and video games under the willow.”

                    “Are they healthy snacks?”

                    “Ahh… not really no.” Ben give a sheepish grin. “Mom only lets me eat organic non gmo ultra healthy things. She has my guardian angel / nanny make sure I stick to it so if I want anything good. I have to eat here.” He rubs the back of his neck.

                    “My father fairly closely regulates my diet as well, but he doesn’t keep it that extreme, and he’s such a good cook, we cook together all the time.” Abigail tries to sympathize. 

                    “Mom doesn't cook. At all. she just gives me a speak of fresh cut fruits vegetables bread and cheese. They get a Dad’s idea of a good meal at home are MRE’s and dipping dots in front of Hogan’s Heroes reruns.  Hara does a little better, he tries to cook me things but he’s not very good at it, having no idea what food actually tastes like. Grandma… Mom just doesn’t let grandma cook for me.”  He runs his fingers back through his hair, how does his hair just fall so perfectly and it’s not even frizzy or anything.    

                   “I know your mom means well, but our bodies are fairly efficient at filtering out a certain amount of toxins from our food, natural and manmade sources. You just have to wash your produce before cooking it.” Abigail informs him.

                   “I know. You’ll forgive me if I don’t openly argue with an angel who’s been alive longer than almost anything else. I don’t have enough spare time to lose it to listening to lectures end on end. Sometimes I wish I’d just get a spanking. It’s quicker.” Abigail has to laugh at the sentiment.

                    “I understand completely.”


	14. It's 2pm. Do you know where your children are?

             “Mr. Jones.” The secretary sounds surprised as Raphael walks into the man’s office.

              “I know I’m early, but Abigail has had a very difficult week, so I’m taking her to a movie before I have to go work. She is still allowed to leave during free period? “

              “Yes, but Abigail went home sick this morning.” She informs him as he goes to sign the take home sheet.  “Her Aunt signed her out.”

              “Her Aunt.” Raphael repeats looking back up. No one called him? No one told him Abigail was sick, and she certainly wasn’t at the apartment. 

              “Yes, Mrs. Pivency-Angelo.” She points to the signature. “She does have permission.”

              “Yes, she does,” Raphael scowls. Of course his brother would do something like this. “And how would I go about revoking that permission? For future reference.”

              “Just… say the word and sign the forms.” Elaine  shrugs. “Have a good day, Mr. Jones.”

              “You as well, Ms. Harper.” Raphael nods and walks out, taking his cell phone ou of his pocket as he leaves the school. “Why did you take Abigail out of school without telling me?” He demands as soon as his brother picks up. “I was going to do something with her today.”

              “I didn’t. I’ve been at rehersal all day. The damned wood winds can’t get it right. You’d think they’re all asthmatic, but the asthmatic one is actually the best damn flautist in the city.”

              “Don’t be such a prima donna.” Raphael can’t help but lecture him. “And you did because you were physically present and signed your name on the take home sheet.”

              “Raph, listen.” The phone is held up and put on speaker just as a passable selection for flute starts with almost all of them off step and most of them straining the high note to a painful degree. “I could work with each individually but there’s not time before the concert. I’m not staying with this amature bullshit. Are you sure there’s nothing you can do to help me with this?”

              “Yes, let me put aside the issue of my missing daughter to focus on your petty work problems.”

              “Raph.” Luci sighs. “I can’t ask Gabriel, she’ll just fuck with the whole production, you know she will. And is the only one with enough balls to pretend to be me.so talk to her before you start freaking out about Abigail playing hooky.”

              “Abigail does not play hooky! Convice the director to use the alternate passage.  that’s an octive lower. That’s your only hope to make it to the concert.”

               “Thank you. And you are all officially uninvited to opening night, I’m not subjecting my family to this mess. And I’d call Gabriel. Tell her if she’d pulled Abigail out for some scheme to get Shelly to come back I’ll kick her butt for dragging me into it.”

               “You’ll need to stand in line. I’ll see you tonight.” Raphael hangs up and sends a prayer to his sister. “You leave Abigail out of your scheming nonsense and bring her home at once, do you hear me?”

                “What are you talking about? Is Abigail missing? Hold on, I’ll meet you at the apartment.” She’s waiting for him when he arrives back home.  “Okay. What’s going on?”

                “Do you swear that you did not take Abigail out of school this morning pretending to be our brother?” Raphael demands. “For whatever reason, be it for hookey or whatever you have planned to get Shelly to come back.”

                 “Yes, I swear. You know I’d never do it without letting you know, you’d friggin’ kill me. As for hooky, Luci’s the one who takes her out of school for a random day of fun not me,” Gabriel points accusingly across the hall. 

                  “I know that. Abigail tells me everything. Unless she is incapable which you are more likely to make possible than her uncle.”

                 “I didn’t take her out of school. And I wouldn’t use Abigail as bait or something, either.” She has the gall to look offended at this.

                  “You mean, like you just did in that S you made with the pagan gods?”

                  “No, I just added a proviso to benefit us and make them suffer.” She bops his nose. Raphael is neither amused or abated.”Look I didn’t do anything If I had I’d have left a vague cryptic message telling you she was with me and I’d have left a vague cryptic message telling you she was with me and not to worry. So when you did worry and she was fine I could say I told you so.”

                   “Then where is my daughter?” Raphael demands. His little sister just shrugs.

                   “Did you try calling her?” She pulls her phone from the inside pocket of his jacket. “No, you didn’t. You just immediately assumed it was Luci. “She holds up the call log. “Or that I did something and blamed it on Luci, which is completely unfair. Especially as you know Abigail insists on making sure you or your wife know when we want to take her somewhere. It was probably that daughter of mine trying to get an ally in her fight for the hellpup. She knows better than to trust the twins." She types up a quick text on his phone and sends it off. “And now we wait.” Raphael grabs his phone back.

                   “Why do you insist on using modern heiroglyphics?”He shakes his head as he attempts to decipher it.

                    “They’re called emojis, Raph, and they’ve been in use for decades now.”

                    “I know what they are called. I use them. Just not for an entire text message.”

                    “ There are words, too.” Gabriel protests, searching the cupboards for treats. “Okay, mother hubbard, when are you going to start putting the good stuff in cupboard? Abby’s a growing girl, now learning the joys of intense hormone fluctuations, she needs her empty calories.”

                     “ ‘And’ and ‘or’ barely count as words. And I’ll fill the pantry as soon as you and Shelly and the twins stop eating everything I put in there.”

                     “Hey, Luci raids the pantry too, you know.” Gabriel reminds him indignantly, “Oh, speaking of which, she’s still at rehersal right?”

                     “Yes. Is that a house of a church?” Raphael frowns at it as his sister disappears and reappears with a large bag of Buccaneers Bounty.

                     “A church is a house.” she pops a handful of puffs in her mouth. Raphael chooses not to comment.

                     “ A sun and an acorn, comma.”

                     “Cocoa bean.”

                     “That’s an acorn, wheelbarrow acorn church comma or fire fireworks sun fireworks fire skull and crossbones period. Heart, kissyface, happy pink angel face, happy brown angel face.”

                     “Brown angel, pink angel? Really Raph?” Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him.

                     “If they’re going to separate humanity into races based on skin color, they should at least be chromatically accurate colors. PS Circle with line through it fire puppy ‘or’... okay how do they have a falling angel with flaming wings emoji but you had to use an acorn for a cocoa bean?” Raphael asks indignantly. Gabriel just laughs and peers over the phone again.

                      “That’s icarus, not an angel. If you see the ‘wings’ are feathers attatched to his arms. And they’re not on fire they’re falling off because he’s too close to the sun.”

                      “As if humanity has ever properly depicted an angel’s wings. Even so, my statement stands.”

                      “It’s a sticker, not an emoji. So at the very least they’ll respons soon. Or you know, Abby will. “ Gabriel takes the phone, puts it back in his pocket and pats his chest. “So relax, it’ll be fine. Whatever her faults, Shelly would never put Abigail in any danger, whatsoever. Trouble, yes, danger no.”

                       “That is true. “Raphael has to concede. “But it’s not like Abigail to behave this way.”

                       “True… Oh, it’s probably a boy then.”

                       “ She would not skip school without teling me with someone who forged her uncles signature and have it be for a boy, nor would she do so herself for any reason much less for some… boy.”

                       “A girl then? She’s thirteen, Raph. It’s an age of first loves, first rebellions, testing your wings, finding out who you are what you like what your place is. She’s just starting that long painted process of cutting hte apron strings that’s all. Snip snip snip,” She cuts the air with her fingers. Her brother is still not even slightly amused. “Relax, Michael survived this, you will, too.”

                       “Abigail is fine. We are fine.” He snaps. “We have a very healthy open trusting relationshpi with more than enough room for personal growth and freedom so that she’s not forced to rebel in order to become her own person and I was not inappropriately attatched to Michael no matter what you and my wife may think.”

                       “Uh, huh, sure, whatever you say,” Gabriel’s flat agreement isn’t the least convincing. “But Abigail is human, Raph. This is what they do. It’s not bad parenting, it’s just… inevitable.” She shakes her head and vanishes.

 

                        “Well,” Helel rests her hands elegantly on her knee. “Thank you for speaking to me about your concerns. Instead of just continually trying to undermine my authority when you’re alone with him.” She looks at him cooly. The Sherriff just drinks his beer. “And I’d think you of all people would understand wanting him to have a healthy diet, and to concentrate on his studies and physical training.”

                        “First off, there’s healthyand eating a restrictive diet so severe you’d have to be an angel not to starve on it. And he needs to do more than study and train. He needs freinds, human freinds, his own age. He would have gotten them if you’d eased up enough to let him do little league or even sent him to actual school instead of just having the librarian teach him when you can’t.”

                         “Sheriff… Dean, it is my job to keep him safe, healthy, happy alive and pure of heart and soul. Not yours. And it’s not your soul that will be lost far beyond our reach, should he die. If I wish to ensure that doesn’t happen in my own way, you have no right to interfere.” Helel gets to her feet. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I do still have an entire kingdom of heaven to manage.”

                         “Have you tried talking to him?” The Sherriff gives another attempt before the angel can leave. “Asking him how he feels, what he wants?”

                         “I do talk to him, and I do ask him, as much as I can. Every minute I spend of earth are hour up in heaven, Dean. And he’s perfectly strong, perfectly healthy, sleeping well, eating well, growing well, behaving well, learning well. If something was wrong he would tell me.”

                          “No, he wouldn’t. Because you’re an angel, THE angel of angels, practically perfect in everyones eyes and if he’s anything like you he’ll hold in all his fears and worries until he explodes. And he has them because he’s thirteen and he’s human and we all do and because he’s becoming a man he is absolutely not going to talk to you about some things.” The sherriff leans forwards. “The very fact that you think everything is perfect and nothing is wrong, even slightly… he’s a teenager, there’s always going to be something wrong, even if it has to do with liking a girl and not knowing if she likes him back.”

                         “First of all, of course she would like him back. My son is the most beautiful human being who has ever set foot on the earth, and besides which everything anyone could ever hope a man to be. But you’re saying that my son is lying to me. Why?  Because you lied to your mother?” Helel crosses her arms. “This is ridiculous. I know my son. He’s perfectly fine, because I have made sure that he would be perfectly fine in all aspects of life. All of them.”

                          “Oh, are you going to find him a girlfreind too?” The sheriff asks dryly. “Dear god, you are, aren’t you.”

                          “While the final choice will be up to him I am in fact searching for a number of suitable boys and girls for him to begin a potentially romantic corresponance with.”

                           “You… sweet Jesus, okay…” The sheriff covers his eyes. “For the love of all that is good and holy in the world, you need to go have a talk with your son. Or better yet tell your husband about your little arranged courtship plan, because I know damn well he doesn’t know about this, or I’d have heard about it, repeatedly.”

                           “My Mule and I are on the same page concerning our son, thank you. Now I will go talk to Ben and make sure he knows that he absolutely can talk to me about anything because despite my body I have been human and I have been male.”

                            “Yeah, but you haven’t gone through puberty.” 

                            “No, I haven’t thank all that is, pregnancy was bad enough with the physical alterations and hormonal shifts. I doubt puberty can be as bad as bearing a nephilim.” Helel leaves abruptly. It’s just as well they were both starting to get pissed off. Honestly, he has no idea how two such stubborn people have any sort of healthy relationshpi at all. It probably helps that they rarely get to see each other.

 

                      “Alright, so here’s a map of the fun house.” Ben finishes tracing it. “Where’s yours?”

                      “Here. What’s the scale?” Abigail unrolls hers.

                      “Fingers to furlongs.”

                      “So’s mine. I left from here and ran this way. It wasn’t even a quarter mile until the angel I, um, pinned to the wall with his own blade.” 

                      “By the pillar?” Ben swallows his laughter and places the traced map on thin almost see through paper over Abigail’s lining them up.

                       “The hall was identical up until then. Well, aside from the obnoxious coloring.” Abigail leans forwards to get a better look.

                       “Alright, so… “Ben aligns the halls with the mark of where she started a little less than a quarter mile from the entrance to the funhouse.

                       “The secret passage to purgatory was here in my hall, so it should be here in yours give or take a few bits.” She marks and makes a circle.

                      “When we leave we’ll come out about… here.” Ben marches over to make another mark, his arm brushing Abigail’s.” Sorry! I’m sorry.” he hastily apologizes and moves away.

                     “S’okay.” She mumbles and look down at the map. “So do we go this way?”

                      “That depends. Are you afraid of anything besids clowns?” He asks in a gently tone of voice that does not prevent Abigail from being pissed off at the question.

                     “I’ll have you know Coulrophobia is a perfectly common reasonable fear of thigns close to human but not human. All umans are wary of denixens at the uncanny valley, which is when things are life like enough to be disturbing, but not realistic enough to be amusing. And I was doing just fine before you snuck up on me and grabbed me from behind.”

                     “I’m not judging. My father’s afraid of clowns. It’s just that screaming tends to set the funhouse rooms in motion.” he explains.

                     “Again, if you hadn’t snuck up on me and grabbed from behind, I would have done just fine. Thank you. And no. Not that I’m aware of. Is this place part of the fun house?” Abigail reaches out and brushes the nearest willow branches.

                      “No, this is… this is the Devil’s playroom.” Ben sighs. “Where she tortured souls who tried to escape. It’s currently in sanctuary mode. I’ve been triply warned not to trigger the change as it will result in my Aunt’s gruesome and untimely demise, and I’ll never get to use the sanctuary again.”

                     “I see. Would it have weapons? You don’t have any on you, which is odd for traveling in hell.” Abigail asks looking him over.  Ben looks down at his outfit.

                      “It might, but I don’t generally need one. There’s a cupboard on the other side of the tree that she keeps locked up, there might be one in there, but I don’t have the key.”

                      “Let me see what I can do. Uncle taught me lock picking when I locked myself out of the apartment for the first time when I was eight.” Abigail takes a hairpin from her hair, and  walks aroudn the other side of the tree. “You stay here in case it doesn’t contain weapons or torture devices.”

                      “Well, what else would it have?” Ben follows her. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. It could be cursed and warded.”

                       “I don’t think your aunt would let a curious human child spend time unsupervised in a place where he could accidentally curse or injure himself with the devil’s toys. Unless of course she was trying to kill you.” Abigail adjusts her glasses and looks it over before picking the small simple lock on the front of the twin doors to the cupboard.

                       “No, if she tried to kill anyone it would be my father, not me. But what else would you think she would have in th.. oh my goodness.” Ben steps back as the opening doors, reveal an odd collection of objects, several of them phallic shaped in varying sizes, Abigail quickly puts her hands over his eyes and leads him a little ways off to the side so he can’t see anymore. This does absolutely nothing to stop his confused mortification. “I don’t think there are weapons in there.”

                       “No, there are. She doesn’t really believe in just using fake or decorative ones I see. Hmm. No the only one that doesn’t have some sort of gaes on it is the barbed whip,” She holds out a long black whip with silver copper and iron barbs on it. “Can you use one?”

                        “I… yes. It was my favorite weapon. I used to use it to swing across things like indiana jones, I used to pretend I was either flying or spiderman. Unfortunately I grabbed onto a tree branch that broke and sent me falling about fourty feet. I broke three ribs, my leg, and dislocated my shoulder. So no more whips for Ben.” He takes it looking it over. “I didn’t have barbs on it though. Maybe I could take them off.”

                         “Keep them on, those three metals will damage the most amount of supernatural beings. You’ll need that in purgatory. We should take something to bind people with as well. We will likely need to question people and i don’t want to accidentally inconvenience the wrong people by killing them when we’re in purgatory.” Abigail takes a few things and puts them in her backpack.  “These things all belong to the Nightingale, right?”

                         “Yes.” Ben winces, hoping she doesn’t ask further questions.  She doesn’t, she just puts a few more thing in her backpack, he can’t tell what, and goes behind the cabinet, angrily shoving it as hard as she can, knocking it over so the doors break and the items inside all crash together. Several things inside obviously break on impact. “What… Why did…”

                         “Never mind that. Are you ready?”

                         “Yes. Are you? Do you have the maps? And George?” Ben can’t help but stare at the broken cupboard. Hopefully, Aunt Bree won’t be too mad.

 

                          “You could try Goodnight Moon. It always worked for Ben.” Harahel suggests as Uriel looks through the selection of bedtime stories for his vessel’s daughter.

                         “I have.” He replies. “She just starts screaming at the word goodnight. i now understand why one of his conditions of begin a vessel was my putting his step-daughter to bed.”

                           “Does she know you’re an angel?”

                           “No of course not.”

                           “She could be afraid of monsters or have nightmares or be afraid of the dark. Is her bedroom warded?”

                           “Of course. I made sure his entire family is as protected as I can make them.”  He replies indignantly. “You know the rules as much as I do. At least you should.”

                           “I just meant… You can show her and explain the words and if that’s not enough, tell her that you’re an angel and you’ll protect her from the bad things.” Harahel’s suggestion is met with little more than scorn.

                            “I sincerely doubt that confirming the existence of evil and the need to fear it will cause her less fear.” Uriel crosses his arms.

                            “You’re not. She already knows evil exists, that’s why she’s afraid. You’re confirming that good exists and can and will fight that evil on her behalf, of which she’s not so sure. Why don’t I bring you some books on the subject of childhood fears. I don’t expect you to take my word on it.” Hara turns to go back into the stacks, but the other angel sighs and places a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.

                             “No. that’s… I will explain the wards.” Uriel reluctantly agrees. “And I will teach her to make salt circles and such things to protect herself.  But there are no ghosts or monsters in that house.”

                             “There usually aren’t.”

                             “Harahel!” Helel appears before them startling both angels with her intensity. “Where is my son and why aren’t you with him?”

                             “Doing his homework. Isn’t he?” Hara suddenly feel afraid. “Castiel had to go help Balthazar after some child entered the boundaries of hell, so training was cut short. I was needed in the library, so he went to his room to study, though he probably just going to sleep though.”

                              “He’s not there. At all. Neither is he responding to texts or summons.”

                              “He might not be getting them. Did you try the special number for emergencies? That always gets through.” Harahel takes out his phone. Helel just looks at the angel with a look that’s had to interpret.

                          “What do you mean special number?” Helel frowns, feeling not a little put out. Ben has a special number for him and Harahel to use? 

                          “Hi, Ben.” Hara smiles as, unbelievably, Ben answers the phone. “Are you alright? You’re not at home.” He asks softly. “Oh, alright. He’s helping a freind with something.” Hara covers the microphone to inform. “Get home or soon as you’re done okay? Your mother wants to see you.” Hara smiles wider and turns back to  Helel. “It’s a female friend, apparently. Is it urgent, sir? He might want to spend some… ” Helel just grabs the phone from her little brother. 

                           “Ben Harahel Winchester, where are you? Who are you with? Do I know them? No, don’t answer, just get your bubble butt home right this minute! Do you understand m….”  The look of pure astonishment on Helel’s face makes Harahel very nervous. “He…. he hung up on me. that boy had better be in trouble or he will not be leaving the house again until he’s twenty five!”


	15. The Journey Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Abigail start on their way. The twins get a mission.

.             “No… no!” Ben stares desperately in the dead phone in his hands. “Oh grandfather help me, she’s going to kill me!”

            “Ben,” Abigail says gently, placing her hand on his cheek and shoulder.

            “She’ll think I hung up on her.” He starts to hyperventilate. “I’ve being using hell as a sanctuary, abandoned my studies,  I left the house without telling anyone and I… and I.. hung up on my MOTHER!”

             “No, you didn’t,Ben. Your phone died.” Abigail reminds him with her low soothing voice, that makes him feel a little calmer, for a moment, until she takes the phone from his hand.

             “I’m never going to be allowed to leave the house again. I’ll never play any video games, eat any chocolate that’s not so bitter my face will cave in. I won’t... “ He breaks away and starts to pace and stops. “What if she blames Hara? What if she takes my angel away? It’s not his fault, it isn’t. And I lied to him too, he’ll be so upset. He’ll be in trouble and he can’t trust me anymore, and...”

             “Ben.” Abigail takes him by the shoulders and sits him down on the couch. “Ben, take a deep breath.  Inhale two… three… four… Exhale two…. three… four.. Inhale.” She repeats it for a few moment until his shoulders visibly relax. “It’s alright. You’re going to be alright, Ben. So are they. When you see your family again, just tell them the truth, what you did, why you did it, what happened. Everything will be alright. Your parents love you, don’t they?”

             “Yes.” He slowly nods.

             “They only want to keep you safe and do what’s best with you, don’t they?” Abigail gently smooths his ruffled hair back in place.

             “Yes.” 

             “Are you in fear for your life, truly? Do they hurt you, beat you, deprive you of food or basic needs?”

             “No, of course not.”

             “Do you think they’ll stop loving you? Or hate you?”

             “No.” Ben’s shoulder’s slump down. “She’ll just be upset and disappointed and punish me and she won’t understand. I’m not hurting anyone. At all, but it’s just… How could I lie to her like this and get Hara involved?”

             “It’ll be okay Ben. It will. Just go home, be honest and have a little faith in her love for you. I have the map, I’ve got it from here, thank you.”

             “What?” Ben straigtens up. “No. I can’t let you go into purgatory alone.”

             “I won’t be alone for long.” She reassures him, and adjusts her backpack which he thoughtfully repairs for her. “I don’t want you to get more in trouble. This doesn’t have anything to do with you anyways.”

             “Excuse me.” Ben gives her an almost adorable offended look at this. “ What do you think I am? Some kind of selfish… my getting grounded is not more important than your life and safety. I am absolutely going with you until you and your cousin are safe and sound. I mean, come on I can’t get possibly in any deeper with my parents than I already am.” 

             “Leave your parents a note at least. Letting her know what you’re doing where you went and things like that. Just in case something happens.” Abigail ands him a sheet of paper. “Because it might. And tell them you love them.”

             “Do you really think you can manipulate me into going home like this?” Ben scowls at her. 

              “It’s not a manipulation, it’s simply what I did. Be quick about it would you? I don’t want to be caught here.” She hands him a pen.

              “You did?”

               “Of course I did. I can’t afford for them to stop me, but I made sure that there was something to give them peace of mind if I didn’t come back. Well, answers at least. Especially if I died here. Is there a bathroom?”

                 “By the waterfall. Just to warn you, it’s… ergonomic.” Ben points her in the right direction.

                  “Thank you.” She heads off to it, leaving him to think. What should he say? I’m sorry is a good start. When he’s done, he folds it up and places it on the N64.

                  “Hey!” Chris waves the bouquet in the air.  Riley just whistles sharply as their father takes a bow. Luci waves them onto the stage, which they quickly climb, not bothering to use the chairs, and kisses their cheeks.

                   “What are you two doing here? Where’s your mother?” He asks.

                   “Searching for Abigail and Shelly. That was beautiful.” They keep hold of his neck, kissing the blush off his cheeks.

                    “ Thank you.” Luci acknowledges and as they’re not inclined to let go, just lifts them up, letting them wrap their legs around his waist. “You’re getting too big for this you know.” He carries them off the stage, amidst the applause and  ‘aw’s.

                    “Oh, daddy, don’t say that.” They nestle their heads against his shoulders.

                    “Wow, look at that, she almost looks human.” A stage hand says a little too loudly. The twins both turn their heads to look at him, in their most unsettling way possible.

                     “How dare you, sir.” Riley’s indignant tone is almost mocking.

                     “This woman is an angel!” Chris continues just as indignant.

                     “Wait, I thought she was the devil.”Riley looks back to her twin.

                     “The devil is an angel, Riley. Remember?” Chris clarifies.

                     “Ahhh, riiiight.”

                     “Oh, be quiet, you little shits.” Luci finally gets the dressing room door open as several crew members crack up at this. As soon as he gets them inside, he puts them down on the vanity. “Now what’s this about your cousins?”

                      “Abigail’s gone. She hasn’t replied to anyone’s texts or calls. Shelly hasn’t replied to anyone even about Abigail being missing so we’re starting to think that they’re both in trouble so, mom took us here to see your concert while he went to heaven with Aunt Bree and our Uncles to organize a search.”

                       “I see.” Luci says quietly. “Alright, we’re going home. And then you are going to be staying with Aunt Alex for a while, understand?”

                       “Awwwwwww.” They groan. “Do we have to? Can’t we go to the bunker? They never have any good stuff there anymore.”

                        “No, you’ll be staying in the shelter, with Aunt Alex so she doesn’t do anything stupid. I will be going to the bunker to try and help locate them. Now you two behave for your Aunt or you’ll have to answer to me.” He takes them each by the chin and looks them each in the eye.

                         “Fine, fine.” They sighs.

                         “And if you happen to find anything that might indicate whether or not Abigail is doing something stupid for someone she’s not related to, it would be helpful.”

This request gets a mischievous grin out of them.

                         “You want us to snoop?”

                         “No, of course not. I would never encourage you to violate your cousins privacy, or ask you to do something I know I shouldn’t do myself. Just keep an eye out when you do what you usually do when you’re over there, okay? You might notice things your aunt wouldn’t.

                         “Sure, Dad.” Chris gives him a thumbs up.

                         “You got it,dad.” Riley smacks him a kiss. “Of course, we will need something extremely bad for us to help us forget this conversation.”

                          “I do believe the side effects of a liberal application of heath and reese’s klondike bars induce memory loss.” Chris taps his chin thoughtfully.

                          “What a coincidence so does my foot up your ass.” Luci ruffles their hair and goes to get his jacket. “Where are your coats? In the coat room?”  Or did your mother forget people get cold again?”

                          “Aunt Hara’s going to take us home when we’re ready.”

                          “Oh, good. Now stay here while I say my goodbyes to the patrons.” Luci takes the phone and back up phone from his bag and hands it to them.”Some of them are kind of long winded.. God I can’t believe I’m sucking up to these people. My life is a waking nightmare, I swear.” He adjusts his earrings and walks out of the dressing room.

 

                          “You have twin cousins, too?” Ben can’t help but smile as Abigail mentions the twins. “Older?”

                          “Younger. They’re terrible. Always into everything. They’re always pulling pranks.If you see glitter on me anywhere it’s because they glitterbombed my safe and I can’t get it all off. Well, except for here.”She waves a hand over her chest. “This is holy water body spray with silver glitter and wolfsbane essential oils to help ward off werewolves.”

                          “How old are they?” Ben quickly looks away from her glittery chest.

                          “Um, nine? Though they had about two years in the womb thanks to a mix up with time spell and a honeymoon vacation. It’s complicated. Anyways their names are currently Riley and Chris. They chose them. They were originally Denise Sahar and Jean Michele but they complained that it made it to obvious what their genitals were so their mother let them pick out new ones. I honestly forget which chose which.” Abigail frowns. “At least without a blacklight.”

                         “A black light?”

                         “Yeah, their dad put a small invisible ink tattoo on the back of their necks with the last four digits of their social security numbers.

                          “What?” Ben starts laughing.

                          “Abba refers to it as the mark of the beast.” Abigail grins, though he doesn’t quite get more than this statement is some kind of a joke.

                           “They complained their names made it too obvious what their genitals are?” Ben is starting to think that her entire family is insane.

                           “I don’t pretend to understand their thought process sometimes. They do get easily bored. And eat all my treats and borrow my things and even go into my safe apparently. They’re like siblings except I don’t have to see them every single hour of the day, thank all that is. What about your twins? Are they as big a pain as mine? Or close to it as I can’t imagine anyone being as annoying as my cousins.”

                           “They were, kind of, I think, but more from being bossy and dismissive because I was younger. Plus they always won almost every game we played, never wanted to watch the same movies. But then they went to college and I kind of miss them. It gets so lonely sometimes, you know.”

                           “Yes, I know. My parents let me go to public school this year. I made some friends and there this boy I like, but at the same time, it’s still so hard. I still can’t really be completely myself with them. There are things I can’t talk to them about..  I know of an entire world that they don’t and the only way people won’t think you’re crazy is if they’re a part of it and you don’t want to put anyone through that. i kind of worry that being friends with me might endanger them. At the same time, maybe my friendship will help save their lives. It’s just so hard to know.” She looks so depressed and alone. Ben starts to reach out his hand to take hers but stops himself.

                           “I’m not even human. Sometimes I wish I was. So I wouldn’t have to hide who I am from everyone. Maybe my mother wouldn’t worry so much, or maybe she’d worry more. I don’t know. If I were human at least being as flawed and imperfect as I am would be expected, not disappointing.” He takes a breath and steps into the false ocean in the doorway before them. Fish and sharks and enormous sea creatures swim around them. This is one of his favorite ones because he can reach out and pet them. Breathing’s not an issue because it’s not really real. But nothing in here is anything he’s afraid of. He looks over to check on Abigail every now and then. She looks slightly pissed off. He said something wrong didn’t he?

                           “Being human isn’t about being imperfect.” She says as soon as they step through the other side.  “Everything is imperfect. Being human is about admitting it and doing better. About being able to do better whether we choose to or not.” Abigail doesn’t look at him. She just takes out the map and looks at it. “Okay. We’re through the fish take so it should be a little past the next left.”

                           “Alright, let’s go.” Ben strides ahead.

                           “I’m crossing back over to my thread as soon as I get into purgatory. You really don’t have to go too. My purgatory is kind of tame. So…”

                           “Then I’ll take you that far.” Ben insists, though she doubts that’s as far as he intends to go.

                           “Can I stop you?”

                           “I didn’t mean to upset you.” Ben looks over to her as George starts to growl a little growl at him from her purse. “Or offend you.”

                           “I know you didn’t.” She stops and starts feeling the walls. “Is there something behind or near here that you didn’t put on the map?”

                           “Not that I know of.”

                           “This is it then. Here.” Abigail bends over and takes a knife out of her boot.  “That way we’ll each have two weapons.”

                           “Are you sure about this?” He takes the knife as she takes out a keychain and clips it to the bracelet on her left hand.

                           “Yes. And yes, I’m scared, but I’m doing it, okay? Any other stupid questions?” She sets her shoulders, staring at the wall.

                           “No. And it wasn’t a stupid question.”

                           “No? What did you expect me to say? ‘No I’m not, let’s go home instead and watch a movie. To hell with my cousin.’ It’s a stupid pointless question that only reminds me how scared and not ready I am for this no matter how well I prepared, because so far it hasn’t been nearly enough!” Abigail glares at him, daring him to say something else stupid.

                          “Would a hug help?” Ben can’t believe he just friggin asked that stupid question. He didn’t even think, I just came out automatically. “No,  It just kind of… slipped out. I didn’t mean anything by it. I… It’s what my angel always used to ask me after I was done talking when I was upset. ‘Would a hug help?’ “ The soft embarrassed smile he makes as he covers his eyes with his hands is what convinces her he’s being completely honest.

                         “Oh. I don’t know, maybe. But you’d get all glittery.” She pats his arm. “Thank you anyways.”

                          “Okay.” He’s probably blushing, why is he blushing so much? Why did he have to inherit his mother’s blushable cheeks and not his father’s less… emotional ones. Fortunately if she notices she’s pretending not to. “Let’s go then.” He steps into the wall. What is wrong with his brain? And why is he in a forest? Is purgatory the woods? He didn’t expect anything so beautiful. He feels a tap on his shoulder and quickly steps out of the way so Abigail can pass through the tree trunk.

                          “Alright. I’ll actually need a five foot semi flat circle.” Abigail looks around. “Will you keep watch as I get the spell ready?”

                          “Of course.” He ready’s the dagger. The inscriptions on it are brilliant. This thing will damage almost anything.

                          “And hold George so she doesn’t mess it up.” She hands him her purse as well. He just manages not to stab it accidentally. “Thanks.” Of course the hideous puppy starts growling as soon as she lets go. “George, hush.” Abigail admonishes him. “He’ll help me track down Shelly once I cross over, so I’ll be good from here. Thank you so much for helping me.”

                          “My pleasure. It’s nice meeting someone close to my age that I can talk to.” He admits. They probably talked much more than they should have before getting down to work, and played video games and ate junk food. She somehow ate the healthiest junk food he had, too. Honestly he wishes he had a little more time with her. 

                          “Same. It’s nice having someone relatively sane to spend time with. Oh, and don’t forget, as soon as I cross over, go back, okay?” Abigail looks to him pleadingly. “You don’t need to linger here. At all.”

                          “I understand. Are you sure this is purgatory? It’s so nice.”

                          “Yes, my mother said it was beautiful when everyone wasn’t trying to kill each other, kind of like earth I guess. Just devoid of hope.” Abigail grinds a few herbs together in the bowl, and adds some of her hair. “You know.” Abigail stops. ‘If you still want to talk after I leave, I’ll give you some of my hair and take some of yours with me so we can make mirrors. My Abba uses one to talk to his friend over here. And no world ending consequences yet, so...” She shrugs.

                          “I’d like that.” Ben smiles at her. Abigail clips another lock from the back edge of her hair and hands him the scissors as he ties it up with a small ribbon and puts it in a plastic baggie. 

                          “If you ask Harahel, she can get you a copy of the spell used to make the mirror, though I’m going to ask my uncle if there’s any way to make an enchanted app for our phones. It might look a bit more normal than talking to a hand mirror.”

                          “True.” Though he feels ridiculous, he can’t get the smile off his face. “Will I have to do anything to close it up after you go through?”

                          “No, it closes by itself.”

                           “Then There’s no reason I shouldn’t go with you to find your cousin, you can send me back, right? You look like the kind of girl who always brings extra. Just in case.” Ben gives her his most charming smile. She just looks at him in a way he can’t interpret.

                          “Yes, but…”

                          “No, but’s. I’m not leaving you today this alone. It’s my job as an angel to protect you, remember.” Ben straightens up, towering above her, oddly enough she doesn’t seem the least impressed.

                           “I have enough over-protective nonsense in my life already, Ben. I don’t need you throwing your height around as if it means something other than not having to climb to reach the top shelf and having to shop at the big and tall store.” Abigail puts her hands on her hips.

                           “I’ll have you know it also means superior reach.” He frowns and puts a hand on her head. “See? You can’t reach me can you?” He teases with a grin. Abigail just rolls her eyes, takes hold of his arm with her hands and drops down, using the momentum of the movement and one of her feet to flip him over her with one foot on his stomach. How the hell is she so flexible? How are her jeans so flexible?

                         “Want to try that again?” She asks straightening up. 

                         “How did you do that?”

                         “I’ve been training, too. And being smaller also has it’s advantages.” The smug smile she gives him is as adorable as it is irritating. Of course he did kind of ask for it.

                         “Who trained you?”

                         “My Aunt. Who trained you?”

                         “My Uncle Cas and my mother mostly. My uncle Michael offered but mom said he’s too rough. “Ben gets back to his feet. “That was kind of awesome.” He brushes himself off.  She gets the pine needles from the back of his arms and upper back. “You’ll have to teach me that.”

                          “You’d need to use it on someone taller than you and I don’t think anyone’s going to qualify in a few years.” Abigail goes back to the circle.

                          “Can I please go with you?”

                           “No, I don’t know. It’s not really  a good idea, but I wouldn’t mind having someone with me. But at the same time, my desire for company isn’t more important than not giving your parents a stroke or heart attack by taking you across dimentional lines.” She looks like she’s wavering.

                           “Again.” Ben gestures to purgatory.

                           “Into another thread of existence then. If it’s dangerous for me than it’s dangerous for you, too, and Shelly’s not your cousin.”

                           “You’re not the only one who’s had too much over protectiveness in their life, so don’t tell me to leave for my own sake and safety again, okay? if  you don’t want me around or think I’ll be a hinderance just say so.” Ben challenges.

                           “No of course I don’t…” Abigail’s smile somehow makes the woods even more beautiful, at least until a liquid blackness bursts in on then from the sky.

  
  



	16. Doiuble Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris and Riley goon a treasure hunt. Ben and Abigail find Shelly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I went so long without a post. I was in the hospital for about two weeks. Everything's fine now, but I didn't have access to my tablet. On the plus side after my withdrawal from my phone subsided I got alot of writing done. About 8 chapters, so I should be posting fairly frequently this next week. Thanks for bearing with me.

  
        “Did she seriously not even change the combination?” Chris looks at the open safe in disappointment.

         “No. Not even slightly. But it’s empty isn’t it?” Riley looks over the safe door.

         “Maybe. Maybe not.” Chris reaches inside. “ Ahaha, she’s getting trickier. It’s a false bottom like a magician thing.” 

         “Did she seriously. Think we’d fall for that?” Riley snorts.

         “You did.”

         “I did not. I was asking a question not making a statement of belief or indisputable fact. You’re not fooled until you’ve reached a conclusion.” Riley flicks Chris’ ear as Chris un-tapes something from the roof behind the false wall.

         “Okay, sure, Ri. Alright. What’s this? Is it warded? Enchanted?” Chris hands Riley the manila folder.

         “No, it’s just a thick envelope. And it’s addressed to us. Aww.” Riley smiles and takes it to Abigail’s Pink bed with white lace curtains, as Chris puts the safe back in order.

          “She knows us so well.” Chris hops up next to his twin as Riley opens the letter. “ So what do you think it’ll be. It’s pretty thick so, I think it’s a scavenger hunt ending with something disappointing and ironic but funny.”

           “Nah, it’s probably just a bunch of blank papers with a scathing limerick with a hidden threat hidden in the middle. Oh, no, it’s paper laminated to a cardboard sheet and a bunch of candy wrappers ironed flat between wax paper.. Oh she got Aunt Bree to buy her Kinder Eggs! The official candy of american criminals.” Chris just gives him a look at this weird pronouncement. “And didn’t share? That’s just cruel.”

            “I’m going to marry that woman, just you wait.” Chris sighs, though he can’t help but smile smiling as his brother takes one of the wax paper sheets and hands it to him to look over. “Alright.” Chris glances at the letter. “You read it, your enochian’s better than mine, you can catch more.”

             “Oh my god,” Riley exclaims. 

             “What? I meant read it out loud Riley.” 

             “You read it, you need the practice.”

             “Fine.” Chris takes the paper. “ Dear, Habanero Doublemints.”

             “Nya, not nuh. Haba -nyeros. It’s spanish.”

             “I speak English and enochian, don’t confuse me with other lingual crap. Okay, Dear Habanero Doublemints, If you two are reading this I’ve been gone long enough for your parents to start looking for me themselves. I should be back before the week is out, my plan only should have taken a few days. But if I’m not back after a week, an explanation is with the following:  10-10  @2614GG.  Be polite. I love you both. In appreciation for your help on sundays I had gotten you some kinder eggs, but as you repeatedly break into my room and into my SAFE which I got because you keep invading my privacy, I take them all myself and buried the toys somewhere in the dog park. Good luck finding them before the dogs do.’

                   “That was good. Your pronunciation’s still a little off, but good job.”

                   “Anyone who speaks enochian without busting ear drums breaking glass and killing people has their pronunciation a little off, Riley.” Chris scowls. “But I’m kind of worried about this.” He sits up and looks at the paper. “Should we tell Mom? Dad maybe? Or should we wait like she asked us to.”

                    “She didn’t ask us anything, Chris. She just gave us the information. It’s up to us what we do with it. Anyways she left it for us. And she probably had a good reason for not telling the grown ups. I mean, she always tells the grown ups. Maybe we should see about getting her explanation before we tattle.” Riley looks it over again.

                     “I guess I don’t think Abigail would have done something like this if she didn’t absolutely have to or think it necessary. So I guess we can get it before we decide. We’d the first to find it anyways.”

                      “Unless it’s about a boy, or girl or something weird like that.” Riley’s comment does not make Chris very happy. “But she’d call for help immediately if something bad happened with that. And it probably wouldn’t because she’s too smart to like a real loser.”

                      “It probably has something to do with Shelly.” Chris points out. “Anything that ends up causing trouble this big usually does.” He stretches a little. “At least we keep it small scale. “Alright. Lets figure this thing out. That’s not an email.”

                      “Well no, there’s no .com.” Riley rolls his eyes.

                      “Boys… girls… whatever…” Aunt Alex comes to the door. The twins look at each other and grin.

                       “I think it’s a whatever day.” Riley tilts his head. 

                        “Yeah, whatever sounds good.” Chris nods. “ At least until we go out in public, it’s too cold to take Camilla out of the greenhouse.”

                         “So, how can we help you?”Riley gives a bright smile that makes their aunt a little suspicious.

                         “First, have you found anything?”

                         “We found lots of stuff. Did you know she hides tootsie rolls in her pillow case? And some of them contain money instead of fake chocolate.”

                         “No I didn’t, but  I meant something that tells you where she is and what she’s doing or something like that.” Thankfully their aunt clarifies it in a way that they can reply without lying.

                         “No, nothing like that. There was a note in the safe behind a false wall but the only real information in that was that she ate the kinder eggs she bought for us and hid the toys somewhere in the dog park.” Riley’s a much better liar than Chris.

                          “Sounds like her.” Aunt Alex sighs, leaning in the door frame. “I have to go talk to some people, so Jody and Nick are going to take you out for the evening.”

                          “GARY GOUDAS!” Riley shoots up to his knees, his hand high in the air.

                          “Are there any you’re still allowed at? And don’t think that Jodie would make them unban you or let you in ‘just once’.”

                          “Yes. The one near school!” Riley lowers the volume slightly.

                          “Alright then, I’ll have them meet us there. Get your coats on and put everything back where you found it.” she points to them.

                          “Jesus, Ri, Gary Gouda’s again? It’s not half as fun without Shelly.”

                          “Yes, well we won’t be overshadowed by her either.” Riley heads over to Abigail’s closet. “You can’t see the stars when the sun is out, even though they’re just as bright and beautiful, they’re just…so many years away that’s all. “I think I’m going girl. Go visibly male or I’ll punch you.” She threatens.

                          “I thought you were kind sort of girl today already.” Chris considers. He’ll need the baseball cap.

                          “Eh, not girl enough, I’m need a pretty girly girl femme to the max kind of girl like Abigail. Oooo, yes.” She pulls out a flowery gauzy dress.

                           “You’re going to freeze in that thing.” Chris makes a face. “Pretty girl doesn’t mean stupid girl.”

                           “We’re not playing outside, Chris, and I swear if you don’t behave yourself tonight, I will do something unpleasant to you when you’re sleeping. I’m not sure what, It depends how mad I am.” Riley strips down and puts the dress on. “Now, I just look like a boy in a dress. Maybe I should fish out and stuff a bra or something. Like a sports bra.”

                            “Sister, a heels and stuffing a bra are fine and that stuff are fine, but we’re going to Gary Gouda’s unless you plan on sitting still and staring all night, a sports bra will get out of shape and one of Abigail’s bras will be way too obvious. Besides we’re nine, almost ten,” Chris quickly adds before Riley can. “Here.” Chris takes a headband with a bow from the dresser and puts it on her head. “And a little makeup.” He gets one of Abigail’s brighter lip gloss from the vanity and puts a little on Riley’s lips and eyelids. A little blended into her cheeks. “And… little heart pendant and there you go.”

                            “Thanks.”

                            “Oh, wait.” He grabs some moose and gives her hair some spiky waves at the tips.

                             “Thank you, darling.” She kisses his cheek leaving a big lip print.

                             “My pleasure, darling.” He drapes a large knit shawl around her shoulders and leads her out. Of course, now he’ll have to dress to match, but that should be funny.

                              J.J. stares suspiciously at the formally dressed, well behaving twins. The one in the smart looking vest is escorting the one in what have to be Abigail’s clothes to the swing and he gallantly buckles her in. Sheriff Mills and her husband are just sitting at the table, looking at them a bit bemused by them as well.  They even ate their pizza daintily with a knife and fork, said please and thank you, and have been the politest little darlings he has ever seen. Maybe they planted a bomb somewhere. They got excited when they saw the address of the building. Well, not a bomb type of bomb, a giant stink bomb maybe, but ,obviously something big is brewing. Hopefully it’s nothing  that will get them banned or can be traced back to them. His grandfather is here and his grandfather takes no shit from other people’s children, which is unfortunate because that’s half of working here.

                           “Excuse me, sir.” They walk over after the ride is finished arm in arm. “But where’s the family restroom.”

                           “Thank you.” They turn and head back together as usual. “Okay, so what would 10-10 ?” He hears them start talking to each other in that weird twin language they have.

                          “An apartment number? Floor nine, room nine?” He wishes he knew what they were talking about. Probably their next prank or something.

                          “Hold on there.” Oh no. JJ runs back as his grandfather blocks the bathroom door, holding the handle shut. “That is not a multiperson bathroom.”

                           “Then the baby changing table is really in the wrong place.” The one in the vest looks at him cooly. That’s right, they never came in each a different gender before at least not so obviously. “Riley and I go everywhere together. We do everything together.” Oh, it’s Chris who’s the boy. They’ve just been calling each other brother and sister and Darling all evening.

                          “You’re not doing this together, it’s indecent. Now you can each go to the appropriate restrooms alone with individual stalls or wait your turns to use this one. This is a family establishment.” Oh dear god no.

                           “Grandpa!” JJ tries to speak up but his grandfather hushes him.

                           “No. Jamal this is where I draw the line.”

                           “At the bathroom?” The boy, maybe, Chris, asks with a raised eyebrow that makes him desperately want to laugh.

                           “We’re twins, sir.” Riley scowls. “And we’re nine years old. Just because you insist on seeing the word through dirty eyes doesn’t mean we have to.”

                           “Listen you little smart ass. There’s appropriate and inappropriate. And you will go in your corresponding bathrooms in my establishment, understoon?”

                          “Oh dear god.” JJ covers his face. He’s going to get them sued. He really is. 

                          “You’re a girl, you go to the girls room. You’re a boy. Boys room. This is for families.”

                          “Twin siblings are more family than anyone! And I’m not a boy I’m androgynous today.” Chris puts his hands on his hips. “Riley wanted to be the only girl today.”

                           “And I’ll stop being a girl if it’ll make you happy, but we are going together.” Riley crosses her arms across her chest.

                           “Grandpa, you can’t…” JJ tries again.

                           “Jamal, you shush. You let everyone walk over you. Just be quiet and watch and listen to a real man.” His grandfather, the real man who harrasses children trying to use the bathroom, points at him. “ When I was a boy we didn’t have this gender nonsense. And tell me this if gender doesn’t matter why do we still have men’s rooms and ladies rooms. Now boy or girl, which are you?”

                           “Sir, I’m sorry, but I think it’s incredibly inappropriate for you to ask nine year old children to describe their genitals to you.” Riley speaks so very loudly that literaly everyone in the place looks over to where JJ’s Grandfather who’s standing between them and the bathroom, even coming closer to look.

                           “I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to move before we call the sheriff.” Chris stands behind his sister, hugging her so that he’s holding her arms down, while they both just look calmly at him. 

                            “You’ll call the sheriff? I’ll call the sheriff.”

                            “Sheriff Miles is their grandmother.” JJ blurts quickly before he can be shushed again. “Well their cousins grandmother, they’re here with her and her husband.”

                            “Jesus Christ,”  JJ’s sister rushes over. “Grandpa! This is not 1995.  You can’t police the bathrooms! It’s illegal.”

                            “Is there a problem here?” Sheriff Mills makes her way over.

                            “No, I’m sorry.” His sister apologizes. “Grandpa’s just having a senior moment. JJ. Make sure they don’t sue us.” She whispers as she leads their grandfather to the back.

                            “Nah, we’re good!” The twins smile at him brightly. For such loud things they can sure hear really damn well. “ Just. can we use the bathroom now?”

                             “Yes, please go ahead.” JJ motions to it.

                             “Thank you.” They go in, Chris holding the door open for his sister like a gentleman.

                               “I’m so sorry.” Sheriff Mills shakes her head. “Don’t worry, we won’t sue.”

                               “Thank you but the twins weren’t at fault at all in this one. Um, how’s Abigail? She… she wasn’t in school today. Is she sick?”

                                “She’ll be fine just a little. Family trouble. thank you for asking, though. Are you friends?”

                                 “I… I don’t know.” He suddenly feels very awkward. “Excuse me. I have to… go back to work.” He flees. Hopefully she didn’t hear about his mistakes last week. 

 

                                 “It’s not an apartment number. This is the address and it only has one floor. Maybe a basement.” Chris frowns trying to think as he holds the door for Riley.

                                  “Ooo! A locker number. Ask him if they have lockers. She might have used a false bottom again.” She pushes him forwards towards that stupid boy Abigail has a crush on.

                                   “What? Why do I have to ask? I don’t want to talk to him. He’s my rival!” Chris gives the young man a dark look as JJ cleans the soda machines. 

                                  “Oh don’t be stupid, just ask him.” She shoves him forwards. “Be an adult or whatever.”

                                  “Fine,”

                                  “In english.” She reminds him.

                                  “No shit. Hey!” Chris taps JJ’s shoulder. “Do you have like employee lockers here? Or near here? 

                                  “No, but we do have some in the coat room that we just put up for people’s purses and backpacks and things. Do you want me to get you one?”

                                  “We’ll take locker 10-10.” Riley pipes up before hiding behind him again.

                                  “What?”

                                  “No, it’s alphabetical. 1A,2A 1B, like that.” JJ shrugs.

                                  “Ah, crap. never mind.” Chris sighs and starts to turn back to Riley. “Okay., so that’s not it.”

                                  “Wait. Get 10-J.” She whispers, pulling in his vest.

                                 “Sorry, I mean can we have locker 10-J?”                                          

                                  “It’s only six by six. Sorry. We’ll be getting another one next month.Do you still need one? Is there something you need specifically? Or left in some Gary Gouda’s somewhere,” JJ looks a little less nervous at this. as if the thought of what they’re looking for could be somewhere else is relaxing. What does he think they did? Plant a bomb?

                                   “Never mind." Chris gives a frustrated sigh, “C’mon, Sis, let’s go to the VR coaster.” He ushers Riley back with him.

                                   “Thank you.” She smiles back at JJ and waves.

                                   “Why would only one number be a letter? And J is the ninth letter not the tenth." 

                                   “Seriously, chris? A B C D E F G H I J .” She wiggles her pinky. 

                                   “Fine so they’re numbers. Is it a page number, line number? Line, word?  Word letter? What? Do we put together something out of the tenth letter of the tenth word in every sentence plastered on the walls here or something?”

                                    “Oh for the love of all that is, Chris,” Riley straps them in. “It’s not going to be that needlessly convoluted. She’s not Shelly and she wants us to find it. “Maybe it’s a date. October tenth? It’s still september. Maybe she’s having something delivered here october tenth? Or it’s related to something that happened her on an October tenth?”

                                   “No, we have never done or had anything happen that was significant on an October tenth. Have we?” Chris plops down on the seat and grabs the helmets.

                                    “No.” Riley sits next to him. “I don’t know. Maybe this Gary Gouda’s being 2614 Elmwood street was just a coincidence and it’s something else entirely. Maybe it’s a page number and author’s initials. Or the dewey decimal system?”

                                    “No.”

                                    “What if they’re both letters?”

                                    “What it’s J-J….ohhhh no… She left it with that little… douche?” Chris scowls selecting the ride. Riley punches his shoulder. “Oww. You’re always so violent when you’re a girl.”

                                    “Chris. Our cousin is never going to have a romantic relationship with you because you are her cousin , younger cousin and has changed our diapers and while you may turn that into some weird fetish when you hit puberty, she certainly hasn’t which is one more thing against you. So you’re going to have to stop being so...bitchy to everyone she likes. Especially not to a sweetie like JJ who’s been nothing but wonderfully nice to us even with our reputation. I only say this because I love you and don’t want you developing any weird psychiatric deviancies that won’t let you fall in love properly.”

                             “Yeah, he’s nice to us because he likes Abigail. And unless he’s a pedophile that little douche nugget is never going to be interested in you.” Chris retorts. “I’m sorry,” He quickly apologizes as the silence implies that either she’s going to cry or hit him again. “That was too far.” He quickly hugs her.

                              “I’m sorry too, but you know you just wait until I go to college. He’ll be twenty four, I’ll be eighteen. I’ll be fucking gorgeous. Just you wait.”

                               “I know. And I will be able to woo my Abby. She’ll be in medical school by then so I can hang around and help her with stuff like cleaning and cooking meals running errands so she’ll be so totally dependant on me, she’ll never want to let me go. I’ll be like the perfect spouse she’ll have no choice but to recognize it and since I’ll be just as gorgeous, she’ll fall deeply in love with me before she knows it.”

                                “Brother, Darling.” Riley takes off his helmet and takes hold of his cheeks looking deeply into his eyes. “Forced dependency is not an appropriate courtship strategy.”  

                                 “Yes well hiding behind your twin and refusing to speak directly to them isn’t a great tactic either.” Chris scowls. “He’s seen you dancing on tables, he knows you’re not shy.”

                               “Why are you so mean today? Is it because you’re a boy? You don’t have to be an asshole just because you’re not wearing something pretty.” 

                                “Why does everybody like that guy? He’s not one of us, he’s stupid. He’s barely even cute. You can tell he never will be. I mean look at his family. And he’ll be bald too, you saw his grandfather. Do you really want to be this gorgeous young thing with a stupid bald husband you have to lie to your whole life?”

                                “First, we don’t know if that’s his maternal or paternal grandfather, which is like 80% of baldness. Secondly he is nice and sweet which is more important than smart. He wouldn’t be smarter than me anyways. And he is very cute. And if you’d get your head out of your butt, you’d realized if we worked together on this, and you supported me, I could end up with my JJ and you can get your Abby girl. Maybe. I mean, anythings possible. Mom and Dad are technically siblings so, you never know.” She shrugs.

                                “If you marry him he’ll take you away. I don’t ever want you to leave me, Riley.” It’s Chris’ turn to almost cry and they just hug for each other while a seven year old impatiently waits his turn. 

                                “Hey!” He shouts. “Other people play here too.” The twins just put more tokens in the machine until the boy storms off.

                                “I promise.” Riley kisses Chris’ cheek. “That I will have him wrapped so tightly around my little finger that he’ll beg to move into a duplex with us or the school and we can have our own little shed where we can have a play house and have sleep overs when they’re away. Just for us.”

                                “Okay, then, let’s go interrogate the fucker!”

                                 “Children! Language!” Jody snaps at the only english word in their conversation.

                                  “Sorry, Grandma.” They both smile at her.

                                  “It’s time to think about going, kids. You’ve been very well behaved so, ice cream on the way home?”

                                  “Um, sure. Just give me a minute to get Riley her coat. “Chris runs off and pull’s JJ from the booster seats into the coat room. “Did my cousin Abigail maybe give you something to hold onto for us?”

                                   “Uh, for her family if they asked for it.”

                                    “I’m her family. I’m asking for it.” Chris crosses his arms.

                                    “I left it at home.” JJ says apologetically.

                                    “Ughh. Fine bring it to the shelter after school tomorrow with Abigail’s homework assignments and your notes from class. We’ll get it from there.”  He grabs the family’s coats, before going back out.

 

                           “Well, look at this.” The person grins as Ben moves in front of Abigail as she reaches for something in her backpack. “A live human and a live angel-baby. I don’t know what to do first, kill you or eat you.” He points to them. “You both look delicious, but grace in any amount give us killer indigestion so. It might be fun-making you watch though.” He grabs Ben’s arm as the boy stabs at him with his blade. “Oh,” The leviathan laughs. “Not an angel. Oh this is too good. A meal, a hostage and a way… aahhhh!” He screams as Abigail splashes a small thermos of water into his face.

                             “What…” Ben starts to ask Abigail, but she pulls a few hairs from his head.

                             “Let’s go!,” She puts it and one of hers along with the last bits into the bowl before lighting it. A portal opens that she quickly goes through, pulling his arm so he doesn’t get let behind, but the leviathan takes hold of Ben’s arm again. “Ben!” The pulling starts to drag her back through, no matter how hard they’re holding onto each other.

                             “Just let go of me.” Ben tries to pull his arm from her grasp as he neither wants her pulled back out or the monster pulled through and he won’t let go.

                             “No! He’ll kill you! He’s….” Suddenly the creature stumbles and leans back, startled into losing his grip on Ben’s arm and the two tumble back. Abigail gets up just in time to see a vampire about Shelly’s age thrown to the ground. “NO!” Abigail reaches through to try and pull her through but Ben pulls her hand back to let the opening close just as the jaws of the Levi start open to angrily consume it. “NO! MOM!”

                              “Mom?” Ben looks down at her. ‘You’re mother’s a vampire?”

                              “No. Yes. I mean,...she was but she’s not but I know that’s not her but that was my mother. I mean she could have been.” Abigail covers her face. “Nobody saved her there. No one was there to save her. Why didn’t you help me get her?! No, please, I have to save her. I have to…”

                                “Abigail.” Ben grabs hold of her arms as she struggles to get out the extra ingredients, but just ends up spilling them over the ground. “ Abigail. Stop. It’s too late. You know it is. I’m sorry, but we can’t go back that way and whatever that thing was we can’t…” 

                                “Leviathan.” Abigail stops, tears starting to leak from her eyes. “They… I used all my borax. I’m sorry. I know, I just. She’s a vampire and she’s dead and it has her or ate her or something. And it’s.”

                                 “Are you alright? Are you hurt?” Ben asks her wiping her tears away with his sleeve again. His voice is so soft and gentle just hearing it starts to calm her down. “Did it get you anywhere?” 

                                 “No.” She sniffs. “Are you?” Abigail looks down at this sword hand that are still holding the remains of the broken blade. There’s a large black handprint around his wrist. “Oh no.  no, no it’s okay. We’ll find my cousin and go home and abba will fix you up.”

                                 “The swedish rock band?” He doesn’t mind looking like an idiot for this because if Abigail’s laughing she’s not crying.

                                 “My father. Abba means father.” She smiles at him. “ He can do that.” She takes off the scarf that was around her waist as a belt, and gently bandage his wrist.

                                 “Okay.” Is all he can say.

                                 “George?” Abigail takes the puppy out of her purse, adjusting her holy fire seared glasses. Ben had forgotten about that thing, for a moment. It’s not so ugly compared to that black goo thing, which is surprising. “We need to find Shelly. Find Michelle. Can you do that? And you find our Shelly? She holds her with one hand as she takes out one of shelly’s dirty socks from a side pouch. “Can you? Shit!” Abigail looses her grip on the surprisingly strong squirming hellhound puppy and it drops down and takes off running so quickly Abigail can’t even pretend she could keep up. “That stupid dog.” She covers her face.

                                  “What now?”

                                  “We wait for George to find Shelly and Shelly to come find us. Of for a friendly dead monster to come across us and go get her. Have a seat, do you play cards?”  Abigail sits down on the ground underneath a large tree. 

                                   “Yes, but…” He looks around as Abigail takes out a pack of cards and a large blanket that when spread out has a large protective ward on it and in all four corners. A quick sprinkling of a powder and muttered words makes it stiffen and harden. so they can both sit on it. “It’ll stay that way for a day or until I soften it up. So we’ll be safe as long as we stay on it, except for leviathan, but this is the wrong side of the wall for Leviathan.”

                                    “Wall?” Ben sits down warily, loosening the whip just in case.

                                    “Yeah, there’s a constantly refilling deposit of borax at the mouth of the river here and there’s a wall keeping the leviathan out.

                                    “But that thing Flew.”

                                    “I don’t know much more, but I do know the person who made it would have thought of that. I’ll ask later.” She starts to shuffle the cards. “You won’t have to worry about bodily needs or functions while were here. Things kind of pause for the living in purgatory. So we can wait as long as we have to.”

                                     “That’s good. I guess.” Ben takes his cards. “Poker, rummy?”

                                     “Rummy.”  Abigail looks at her hand a minute. “Anyways I should probably warn you. My cousin is… well, she’s the living embodiment of that hallway to the boundaries of hell.” Ben tries to imagine what that would be like and can’t.

                                    “I’m sure she’s not that bad.” He shakes his head and takes a card.

                                    “You’ll see. I’m just going to apologize in advance for her behavior and for my own possibly. she’s very frustrating, overbearing, over affectionate, no sense of boundaries, no sense of shame, a little full of herself maybe, but she’s also sweet, thoughtful, and insufferable and generous and violent and confident. She’s… an explosion of personality.”

                                      “That does sound like that hallway kind of. Is she obnoxious?” Ben looks up, though it’s hard to imagine how she could not be.

                                     “I… maybe a little. She’s loud anyways. She’s kind of my self assigned guardian angel and she’s always just been….” Abigail fails to find the words.

                                      “Over protective?”

                                      “She took the captain of the football team at my high school and  slammed him into the ground because she thought he was hitting on me, even though I was just going to be tutoring him in calculus.” That definitely sounds overprotective. “In the middle of the commons in the middle of the school day. It was humiliating. She drives me insane, but she’s my cousin and I love her and I don’t feel like letting my family tear the world apart trying to save her either. “

                                        “It’ll be okay.” Ben tries to reassure her, though he’s not entirely sure Abigail loves her cousin or hates her. Of course, Shelly kind of sounds like his Aunt Bree a little and most people feel the same way about her. She probably doesn’t want to hear that though, so he shuts up and just plays cards. He’s tempted to let her win but she’d probably see through that and doesn’t seem like the kind of person who’d appreciate that. He knows he didn’t when he found out Hara was letting him win at chess. But it did kind of help him out of a bad mood sometimes when he felt like he couldn’t do anything right when his mom came back. Still she’s not six.

                                “ABBY!” A flashing ray of sunshine tackles the young woman off the blanket before he can stop it. “Oh, Lolo, how could you let my little Abby girl come to this averagely tolerable place.” The bright tall woman lifts her up, tightly pressing their cheeks together. “Are you okay? You’ve been crying. Are you hurt? C’mon strip down and let me examine you. I’m not great at using my grace in this state yet.”

                                  “No!” Abigail shouts and pushes the tall golden young woman back, the manifested bright half sized golden wings fluttering behind her. “What the hell were you thinking!” Abigail punches her cousin’s arm. “Infiltrating a demon plot to take over hell and killing them all? You… How did you not think you would die? You stupid.” Shelly just hugs her little cousin and lets her cry into her neck, folding her wings around the girl as best she can.

                                  “Shhh… shhhh… it’s okay, my Abby girl. It’s okay. Everything’s going to be okay. Shelly’s here. I’ll take care of you.”

                                   “You being HERE is the problem, you brat. You’re DEAD!”Ben has to smile at the cute irritability of the muffled reply, especially as Abigail isn’t letting go of her cousin any.

           “Yeah, well, come on, we can go back to my palace before we go home. It’s gorgeous. You can clean up, rest a little and we’ll go home.” Shelly brushes Abigail’s hair back.

                                    “Your palace?” Abigail looks up at her.

                                    “Yeah, my palace. Mom told you they took over purgatory for me in case something like this happens, didn’t they?”

                                    “I thought she was joking.”

                                    “You’re queen of purgatory?” Ben asks just staring at the tall, suddenly frightening ray of sunshine before him.

                                     “Who’s this? Who are you?” She narrows her eyes at him. “And what do you think you’re doing with my Abby-gale?”

                                     “My name,” Ben gets to his feet. “Is Ben Harahel Winchester and  I’m doing your job or protecting her. Something you should have thought about before putting yourself in such a dangerous position interfering with celestial politics. “He’s about a few inches shorter but he can tell by looking that if he manifested his wings they’d be bigger, and brighter.

                                     “You listen here, you little shit.” Shelly grabs him by the collar. 

                                     “Winchester?” Abigail of course zero’s in on that part, and not the fact that her cousin is posturing, but she hasn’t slammed him into anything yet so abigail probably isn’t too worried about the conflict.

                                     “Yes. Winchester.”

                                     “What a coincidence, I’m Michele Cadence Winchester.”

                                     “Singer.” Abigail corrects her, much to Shelly’s annoyance.

                                     “Legally Singer, because of the death certificates and legal records, but genetically Winchester. It’s complicated and you are not a fucking Winchester.” She tosses him back with this. “So who ever you are, whereever you came from, you can go back there and drop that stolen name.”

                                      “Michelle, Sam and Dean aren’t the only people in the world with the last name Winchester.” Abigail wedges herself between them. She’s so warm.

                                      “My father is SAm Winchester.” Ben glares at her.

                                      “No he’s not!”

                                      “Yes, he is. He’s Sergeant Major Samuel Henry Winchester.” Ben’s calm even tone is clearly pissing Shelly off.

                                      “Ha! My father was never in the army and his middle name is…. it’s… I don’t know what his middle name is but it sure as hell isn’t Henry.”

                                      “Can we please just go home, Shelly? Ben’s injured and he needs Abba. We don’t have time for this.” Abigail crosses her arms. “And I have to get home before next saturday for my courting time with Bia and Tano.”

                                     “You’re WHAT!?!?!”


	17. Brotherly love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel is not happy  
> Shelly does not like Ben.

            “Gabriel!” The doors to the bedroom burst open with excessive force. Fortunately they weren’t actually doing anything, just snuggling together as she tries to sleep and her husband reads those damn couples therapy books his counterpart’s wife suggested. 

             “Bree, Heaven’s Drama Queen is here to see you.” Raphael remarks dryly not even looking up, making his wife snicker a little into his chest.

              “You be quiet.”Helel deigns to acknowledge his existence, “My son is gone and I know you had something to do with it, Gabriel.” Helel points to her little sister who’s just looking at her with tired barely open eyes.

              “What are you talking about?” She slowly sits up and stretches.

              “Bree..” Her husband puts a hand on her arm. “Please, not about Ben.”  

              “Hey, come on, you know where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing for a very long time.” She crosses her arms and looks down at him. “Half of which was crap from these books and the rest of which was my payment for doing the stupid crap from these books.” She smacks the book in his hands. “So, can you calm down, and take a breath and tell me what in hel’s name is going on.” Gabriel points to his former brother now sister.

              “Ben has left home, told no one, is with some… some girl I don’t even know and he hung up on me!” Of course Helel’s response, just makes Raphael start laughing at his sibling’s distress.

               “Oh, Jesus, is that all.” Bree gives an exasperated sigh. "You’re over reacting. Just go home, wait and ground him when he returns. it’s not rocket science.”

               “No! He is no where on earth, and I know damn well that if he’s somewhere else, or has learned to ward himself from me, you are the one who taught him how.”  Helel glares at his baby sister.

              “Helel….” Bree sighs plopping back down on the bed.

              “Don’t Helel me. I will not have my son impregnating some little seductive harlot at thirteen because his aunt let him do Dad knows what Dad knows where. Now tell me what you’ve done before I have to take action.” But Bree can’t because she’s trying very hard not to laugh.

               “You don’t know much about thirteen year old boys, do you?” Raphael shakes his head.

                “Or Ben. He’s not some hotbed of sin and degredation waiting to happen. You need to be a much worse parent than you are to make that happen.” Bree covers her eyes with her arm. 

                “Excuse me?”

                “I love you, but you have lost your damned mind when it comes to that boy. And what ever insight you ever had into human nature when it comes to him.” Bree explains further. “It’s like… mother hood has turned you into Michael.”

                “I hate you, and I have to agree.” Raphael adds completely unnecessarily.

                 “Maybe I finally understand Michael’s position, now that a fragile little being that contains a piece of myself is a death away from being ripped from me and everything good in the world possibly forever. And if I manage to keep him from purgatory he’s still part human with a human soul. What if he ends up in hell because Ic couldn’t keep him from indulging?” 

                  “First off, You know very well that I would get Ben if for any reason he ended up in hell,  but he won’t. Ben is a good boy. And sex is not the worst thing he could do. Besides which he knows how to use protection and how to avoid that particular result of physical pleasure. If you still don’t know the vast options available I feel very sorry for Sam.”

                  “Wonderful though that burn was,” Bree swallows a laugh and shoves her husband again. “He’s thirteen, Raph. And never even really spoken to a girl his age. He’ll at best, blush and stammer himself into complete and utter nervousness at the first kiss. Seriously. There’s no way he’d get farther than that with someone he just met. And if there was someone he met or liked, you know he’d tell Harahel. Have you talked to Harahel?”

                 “Yes, I have,” The deadliness of Helel’s tone informs her that maybe that wasn’t the best question to ask. ”But Ben is MY son, not his. I am his mother. How he is raise is my say, not Harahels and not yours. Now you tell me any and everything you have done in regards to my son or dad help me you will regret ever having been created!”

                 “Oh for the love of all that is. Fine. Let me get dressed and I will take you there.” Bree slowly gets out of bed. Her husband just snaps her into something. “Thanks hon.”

                 “What do you mean ‘take’ me there?” 

                 “Well, I’ll need to undo the wards so you can go in. Later hon.” She gives her husband a kiss and walks over to  Helel. “Come on.”

                  “Where?”

                  “Well, hell of course.”

                  “YOU SENT MY BABY TO HELL!”

                  “Chill he’s just in the boundaries. I let him use the sanctuary.” Bree protests.

                  “You what?” Rapahel exclaims and disappears before Helel can articulate her extreme displeasure any more. “MY sanctuary is unwarded.” He returns in a moment. “How could you let him have access to that place? Did you even lock it in sanctuary mode?”

                  “We can do that?” Bree frowns. “Relax, i told him to keep in in garden mode and locked the cabinet.” Bree protests as Raphael brings her down. Helel following closely being.  “See… just junk food and video games, innocent fun and a place to relax and do nothing.”

                    “I don’t allow him do to either of those things.”

                     “Have fun and relax? Yeah, I know. That’s why he does it here.” 

                     “Eat delicious poison and play morally bankrupt games. He gets plenty of fun and relaxation while training.”

                     “Do you hear yourself? Go check them out. He’s not going to descend into a life of crime and depravity because he ate candy and played Animal Crossing for a few hours.” Bree plops down on the couch and grabs a bag of twizzlers. “Relax. All the games are rated E. What the hell!” She bolts up again and runs over to where the cabinet is open and broken, tipped over onto it’s face, everything dumped out into a big messy pile. “Raph!” She tries to push it up and hide the contents at the same time. “I need to start lifting weights or something.”

                      “Why didn’t you tell me you let him come here. I’d have removed the cabinet and you know I have no problem either deceiving Helel or undermining his parental authority.” Raphael chides her, putting everything back in place.

                      “The whip is gone. And… No! My silk teddies! That little brat he’s with stole my vintage silk teddies? That brazen hussy. Maybe Helel wasn’t quite overacting. Or well, was accidentally right in doing so.” Bree looks through it. “And the cuffs. What the hell kind of kinky little bitch is he mixed up with?”

                       “Given what they left behind, not nearly as kinky as you.” Raphael sends the cabinet to the cave where he should have years ago. Somehow he thought it would be less accessible to curious children hidden in the depths of the boundaries of Sheol. They don’t even use it much now anyways now that she’s human and sleeps. Exhausting her physically is much easier than exhausting her bored imagination.

                       “Okay, so I owe you an apology.” Bree heads slowly back to where Helel is standing by the video games. She’s just staring at a paper in her hands. Did Ben leave a note? That’s both thoughtful and responsible and much more like him. “Helel?”

                        “He’s in purgatory. This.. this jezebel has seduced and manipulated him into going into puragatory with her! Everything I’ve being doing is to try and keep him OUT OF PURGATORY!”  

                         “I didn’t realize Ben was so stupid and weak willed as to be manipulated or tricked into something like that by a pretty face.” Raphael’s comment earns him a deadly glare from his brother. “You just said that’s what happened. I was sarcastically pointing out that he is not in fact stupid or weak willed.”

                        “ Hormones make you stupid, and the biological imperative to mate is not a matter of will.”  Helel dismisses him and his stupid opinions and turns back to Bree. “Do you see what you’ve done? These rules and schedules I have are in place for a reason, Bree!”

                        “Yes well if you’d let him have some time to be a damn child at home he wouldn’t have had to come here to avoid a complete nervous break down. Don’t blame me just because you forget everything you knew about human children, which quite frankly wasn’t much to begin with as children don’t need the kind of forgiveness and redemption you specialized in.”

                        “Ben is NOT a human child.” Helel argues still unable to admit she’s the least bit wrong or uninformed about anything ever, par for the course. “He’s my son.”

                        “Oh for… Raph, can you get Sam? I can’t deal with her like this.” Bree plops back down on the couch. “Hell, get Michael, too. If we’re going to have to invade purgatory, we’ll need cannon fodder.” Both her older siblings glare at her for this.

                         “I will tell his father about this. I think you two have done enough.” Helel vanishes, letter in hand.

                         “Be nice to Michael.” Raphael orders Bree who just crosses her arms.

                         “Oh, sure, I try to have a little fun and I’m the devil, but Michael tries to destroy the world and remake humanity and everyone’s sooo understanding.” She slumps down. She is kind of curious to meet Ben’s girlfriend. Before Helel rips the girl from the face of the earth anyways. She seems interesting. 

  
  


                        “I take it back.” Ben says cooly as Abigail finishes explaing to them what happened with Bia and Tano. “Messing about with demons didn’t make a difference. You’re clearly a useless guardian angel to begin with.”

                        “Excuse me?” Shelly draws herself up. “I’m afraid I didn’t quite hear you over the sound of your own sheltered incompetence. At least I’ve saved her more than she’s saved me.”

                        “I’m going to the bathroom. Try not to kill each other while I’m gone.” Abigail gets up, a bit exhausted from listening to the constant sniping.

                         “I make no promises.” Shelly just glares at the boy.

                         “Michele!”

                         “Fine.” Shelly slumps down. Abigail looks over to Ben.

                         “I can’t kill her. She’s already dead.” He points out smugly.

                          “True enough.” Abigail nods and walks a little ways out of sight. Shelly looks heartbrokenly betrayed at her comment, clearing siding with this … little usurper instead of her. Ben just ignores Shelly’s dark looks and works on examining the deck of cards to try and ignore the pain in his arm.

                          “How old are you anyways? If you weren’t so tall I’d guess like, eight.” Shelly just can’t let the silence remain. 

                           “Old enough.”  Ben crosses his arms, trying to look up more fitting to his height.

                            “You’re twelve aren’t you.” Shelly smirks, apparently having hit a nerve.

                            “Thirteen. How old are you? Judging by your manners and impulse control, I’d think you were five.” Ben retorts.

                            “Listen you little albino brat, you need to show me some respect. I am bigger than you, stronger than you, and no cheeky little twerp is going to treat me like less than the goddess I am in front of my darling cousin. Understand?” She pokes his chest, not even a little gently. “Now are you going to shape the fuck up or am I going to have to beat some sense into you.”

                            “Even if you could, you’d have to have some sense to do that.” Ben retorts. Shelly just gives a derisive laugh.

                            “You think I’m bluffing don’t you.”

                            “I think you’re a bitch. Being a guardian angel isn’t about being strong anyways. Or a better fighter. Being a guardian angel is about taking care of your human, nurturing her, helping her grow and flourish.”

                             “You said the exact same thing twice.”

                             “I wasn’t sure you’d know what ‘nurturing’ meant.”

                             “Look, you little shit,  I have been her guardian angel since she was born and I don’t need some little pipsqueak like you who just  met her giving me shit, thinking you know her and her needs better than her cousin who’s known, guarded, protected and nurtured her for thirteen years.” Shelly grabs him by the collar of his shirt. “I have been taught by the best, trained by the best, the grace of archangels fortifies my souls and you are just some arrogant inexperienced child with a pointless hopeless crush. Now sit down, shut up and maybe you might learn something.” She takes him by the shoulders and sits him down on a nearby log.

                               Ben can’t think of a response to this that won’t end in violence. So he say nothing. Not that he doesn’t want to hit her, but she’s not actually an enemy, just obnoxious. And she’s Abigail’s cousin, who she risked everything to save, and she probably wouldn’t appreciate Ben beating the crap out of Shelly. If he could, which he might not be able to. Especially if whoever trained Abigail trained her.

                              It doesn’t matter. He won’t be a better guardian angel for her by picking fights with her current failure of one. He’ll just have to be like Harahel, kind peaceful, someone who listens and asks and does everything he can to to make life a little more calm and pleasant and sane, which this creature is obviously incapable of. Shelly probably doesn’t even know what any of those words mean. So he just sits there, and takes a breath. He’ll just ignore her, that’s all. How hard can it be?

                             “Wait a minute.” Shelly straightens up. “You don’t go to the bathroom in purgatory.” Shelly gets up and runs over to where Abigail went. Ben quickly follows her. The girl is just sitting underneath a tree with her head in her arms, quietly crying. “Oh, Abby girl, I’m sorry.”  Shelly rushes over and hugs the girl.

                              “I just need a minute, okay?” Abigail pushes her away. “Just give me a minute of peace. Where no one’s fighting or yelling, please.” 

                               “I’m sorry.” She kisses Abigail’s cheek. “We’ll be quiet. C’mon, we’ll meet up with my escorts, head to the portal and everybody will go home. Where they belong.” She shoots Ben a look. He just ignores her. “Okay, sweetie?” 

                               “I still need a minute.” Abigail wipes her eyes.

                               “Okay.” Shelly squeezes her tighter.

                               “I’ll need to breathe during that minute.”

                               “Right.” Shelly let’s go. “Oh, wait, you two can stay here, you’ll be fine this side of the wall. I’ll go get my steward really quick and let him know the place is his again and we’ll go. Ben… don’t try anything funny.” Shelly narrows her eyes at him. He continues to ignore her even as she takes off running through the woods.

                               “I’m sorry. She’s…” Abigail apologizes. 

                               “It’s fine.” Ben sits down next to her.

                               “It’s like I got breasts and she just lost her mind.” Abigail scowls. “Usually it’s the parent of the opposite gender who reacts like this to their baby growing up this way not the cousin of the same gender who has no business deciding who is and is not appropriate for anything anyways.” She crosses her arms and looks over at him, “How’s your arm. Let me take a look.” Abigail turns to him. Ben quietly holds his arm out and lets her unwrap the scarf. “Oh, Ben, it’s spreading.”

                                “I know, not very much though.” He looks at it. The handprint is just a big blurred mess of what seems almost like black frost.

                                “And everything around it is ice cold.”

                                “Oh, yeah, that does that when I get hurt, it’s a grace thing.”

                                “Shelly’s grace doesn’t do anything like that for her. Are you sure that’s not…”

                                “No, that part’s fine, a good thing, really.” Ben reassures her. “I don’t usually think about it that much.”  That’s probably why it only hurts around the edges of it.

                                “Abba will take care of this, I promise.” She takes out another piece of cloth, rips it into strips.“ You’ll be okay.” She pours some holy water onto it and bandages his hand again so softly and gently he can barely feel her touch at all. Where did she get that soft touch from?                                                     

                                “Will you?” Ben asks, “Be okay, I mean.”

                                “Yes.”

                                “I’ll do everything I can to save your mother, Abigail.” He promise. “Well, I mean not your mother, her… her counterpart, I guess. I promise, when Ig et home I’ll make sure she’s saved.”

                                 “Thank you.” Abigail doesn’t look up. “Just don’t put yourself in danger to do it. At least not until you know how to fight Leviathan.”

                                  “Right. And how to heal this.” Ben sighs. His arm is all stiff and hard, even up to his elbow. 

                                  “Should your other hand be cold?” She asks, putting her hand on it as he massages his upper arm.

                                  “I’m okay.” He mumbles.

                                  “Here.” She takes it and starts rubbing it a little. “It doesn’t look like the infection is in your veins, so that’s good.” 

                                  “Right.” He stops talking so she can think and so he doesn’t say anything stupid like telling her the chill is generally normal, too. When he’s hurt. Not that he’s ever hurt this long.  Well, at least he knows he’s in no danger of his cheeks getting cold.


	18. Grounded for Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail and Shelly go home

                   “I have no idea what to do about this.” Chris looks to Riley as they finish reading the letter under the covers. “She’s right. The adults would just fuck something up, just like they always did.”

                   “They didn’t screw up too badly, Everything’s okay and has gotten better than it was.”

                    “Yeah, but so many people died, you know. Including our parents and theri parents repeatedly.” Chris turns over to look up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. Their mother placed the stars up there to mimic the night they were both born. It’s always very comforting. “Can’t things just ever be fixed without destroying so many other things in the process?”

                    “I don’t know. We can never fix things up without making a bigger mess in the process. Unless it’s all just shoved away in piles in boxes and that’s just hiding the mess not cleaning it.” Riley shrugs. 

                    “We’re not talking about cleaning our room, Riley. We’re talking about our loved ones lives. People’s lives.”

                    “I know that, Chris!”

                    “Children, it’s bed time.” Their aunt comes to the bedroom door. “Do you need to sleep separately?” It’s clearly a question of exasperation and not a threat, but the twins grab each other tightly anyways. “Just… hush….okay? It’s time to sleep.” She comes in and takes the small lantern from the bed. “Goodnight.”

                    “Goodnight, Auntie.” They snuggle down under the covers and wait for her to leave, pretending to sleep.”

                    ““And you know they’re all that much better than us at everything. Maybe it’s not that they’re incompetent but that the problems are that big and that impossible that if they didn’t do it their way it would have been worse.” because Riley has to have the last word.

                    “But…” Chris starts.

                    “No buts.”

                    “But what about dad? Do you know what he’d do it he found out Shelly was… was dead.” Chris whispers the last words. “He’d lose it. You know he would. And he really was the devil and he hasn’t been good for long and it’s all still there inside of him and he’d… he’d… he’d just tear the whole world apart to get her back and you saw there were treaties. Abigail looked it up and we’d lose him and all of them and wars….  Abigail can do this. She can do anything she wants to and she’s not stupid. You should have a little faith in her.”

                     “You should have a little more faith in our family. They may have been messy, but they did the right thing in the end, even dad before he really started getting better. And they’re even all in the right place now.” Riley starts to stroke Chris’ hair. “You have to have more faith in dad. If he and Aunt Gabriel can’t find some legal tricky way to get Shelly back, and make sure Abigail is okay, then you can bet your ass Abby’s in over her head.”

                      “So you want us to tattle.” Chris gives a last half hearted protest.

                      “No, I want us to send a rescue party because at least one of our cousins needs to be rescued.” Riley corrects him. “You know they do. How are they going to bring Shelly back anyways? They’ll have to tell the adults at some point so they can resurrect her and she doesn’t say not to tell anywhere at all in this letter either. For all we know she wants us to let them know.”

                      “She’s going to hate us. You know she is.”

                      “She’s not Shelly, Chris. And you’d rather risk Abby’s death then risk that she’d hate you, then I hope she does hate you.” 

                      “That’s not… fine.” Chris gets out of the bed and takes the pile of papers out to the living room where Aunt Alex is looking out the kitchen window, a cup of peppermint tea in her hands. “Auntie. We, um, we found something.” He hands her the papers.

                       “You did?”

                       “Yes.” Riley catches up. “Shelly’s in trouble and Abby went to save her. But she went alone so… that’s the plan and note and everything. So… please try not to let the other grown ups fuck everything up trying to help her. You’re the sanest one so far so…” The twins hold each other’s hand.

                       “Thank you.” Alex bends over and kisses their foreheads. ‘I’ll call everyone and let them know what’s going on.”

                       “Auntie…” Chris grabs her arm as she goes to get her phone. “Shelly… Shelly’s kind of dead? So… maybe, um, maybe wait to tell dad?”

                       “I understand.” She gives them a gentle smile. “Go back to bed, everything will be alright.”

                       “Okay.” Riley pulls Chris back to bed. Alex watches them go, and calls her husband.

 

                       “Hey, Ruihi.” Shelly waves the tattooed shifter over, “Abigail, this is Ruihi. He helped me find you two when my Georgie girl found me. Ruihi this is my darling precious little cousin, Abigail. That over there is some useless thing that stuck to her shoe.” She flippantly waves off Ben who just ignores her. “Abigail’s going to be taking me home. Do you guys have any messages for anybody back home you want me to deliver?”

                        “Yes. Arthur has memorized them.”

                        “Well, shit, i won’t be able to. Here, write them down.” She pulls a notebook from Abigail’s backpack because Abigail always has a notebook or some kind of lines paper paper, dislodging something black and lacey. “And what is this, young lady?” She holds it up, displaying the sexy black lace teddy.

                         “Reparations.” Abigail snatches it back and shoves it back into her backpack. 

                         “Are those hand cuffs? Are we going to have to have ‘the talk’ young lady? Because that’ll take a while.”

                         “No, and I’ll thank you to leave my things alone.” She pulls out a pen and let’s Shelly hand it to the shifter who must be Arthur to write down the messages. Ben is just standing protectively close to Abigail, not very thrilled with the company around them. 

                          “It’s okay if you can’t write it in english, my mom can translate anything.” Shelly informs the shifter before turning back to them. “Okay, so, it won’t be too far to the portal. Ru and the other shifters will escort us to it and drop us off.” Shelly pat’s Ruihi’s arm.

                          “We’ll leave after we refill on borate from the wall. I’d suggest dusting yourself in it for an added advantage when we drop you off. Just… try to avoid your eyes and lips. Okay?”

                           “Got it.” Shelly gives him a thumbs up. Abigail just nods. 

                           “We’ve managed to line a good potion of the way with borate walk ways, but it doesn’t always stay so we’re not going to risk it. Do you know how to get Michelle out?” Ruihi bends slightly to talk to Abigail, who does not appreciate the gesture.

                            “Yes.”

                            “Alright. Now don’t come back until you’re old and grey.” He pinches Shelly’s cheek when she straightens up. “And the perks of political leadership is getting other people to do the dirty work for you. Remember that, my future queen”

                            “I’ll do my best.” Shelly crosses her heart, not that he believes her in the least.

                            “Do you really trust these creatures?” Ben whispers to Abigail, eyeing the group suspiciously.

                             “Yes.” Abigail and Shelly both respond, a bit cooly, so he just decides to remain quiet but vigilant until Arthur hands back the pen and notebook, signaling it’s time for them to leave.

                             “Alright.” Shelly turns her back as the shifters splatter the area with the change into Giant Eagles. “Abby, you’ll ride with me on Ruihi.”

                             “I’m riding with Ben,”Abigail corrects her. Ben gives Shelly a smug smile that Shelly pretends to brush off. 

                             “Right, the poor little guy is probably too afraid to ride alone.” She mocks him, which reminds Abigail that Shelly is afraid of flying.

                            “We could all go together. I’d really rather not stop somewhere across the wall, and get you ready while in enemy territory. So I’ll just take you now.” Abigail pulls her sleeve up and takes out her knife. Shelly hesitates. It’s true, but she doesn’t want to leave Abigail vulnerable, especially not due to her own stupid fears. “You know I’m right, Michele, so put George in my purse and don’t argue. I’m not in the mood.”

                             “Alright, little feather, anything happens to her, I’m taking it out on your hide,” Shelly pokes Ben in the chest. “Exponentially. Understand, son?” 

                             “My name is Ben.” He doesn’t even look at her, royally pissing her off.

                             “Yeah, which means son. So your name is son, son. Okay. Let’s do this.” Shelly refrains from grabbing his face and forcing him to look at her, since Abigail is leveling a warning glare at her. "Now don’t let him try anything.” She gets in a last quip as Abigail slices her forearm open, and takes the bratty nephilim’s soul inside her.

                             “Again, I’m sorry. She’s not usually like this.”Abigail sighs and gets onto Ruihi’s back. Ben climbs on behind her. “I was expecting a different kind of obnoxious, intolerable behavior to be honest.”

                              “It’s not your fault.” Ben concentrates on keeping hold of Abigail’s waist and going neither too high or too low on her torso, which is hard beause he’s not exactly sure where that is. After a second he settles on keeping his palm over her belly button which he can feel through the fabric. She’s an outie aparrently. Though, it actually kind of feels more like… “Do you have a belly ring?” He asks despite himself.

                             “It was my thirteenth birthday present. I got earrings when I was eight and they never grew out or got infected so they said yes.”

                             “Oh.” He can feel himself blushing. “You just… don’t seem like that kind of girl.”

                             “What kind of girl?  The kind that like pretty things? My belly looks pretty good with a belly ring. And the chains look even prettier. That’s the only kind of girl I can think of.” which is clearly a lie since she sounds so annoyed at his statement.

                              “I’m sorry. It just seems…kind of… of sultry?”

                              “You mean slutty?”

                              “No I mean sultry. You know sexy.”

                              “Ankles were once considered sexy and erotic, Ben. Why should I care if what other people won’t be seeing might be provocative.” Abigail informs him primly, though she is quoting her uncle. And not all of the quote either. She had worried that it was too mature, but he also pointed out that anyone who saw it and thought it made her sexually appealing, would think she was sexually appealing even if she didn’t have one. That leads her to the question of whether that means Ben finds her attracive, which sems kind of odd as he’s so beautiful himself, and she looks nothing like him or even like Shelly, and he’s seen Shelly. she does know better than to ask, though.

                               “I didn’t mean anything by it.” Ben hastily says.

                               “Yes, you did.” Abigail’s tone makes him decide to just stay quiet again. He gets the feeling that pointing out it wasn’t meant to imply she was anything bad, wouldn’t win him any brownie points, since it was him implying that girls who had belly rings in general usually had loose morals that she clearly objected to.  The trip is surprisingly uneventful. The other shifters dusted borax into the air around them as they flew so leviathan didn’t come near and no other monsters attacked. It’s not even an hour before they drop them off on a cliffside and when the two step through the portal, it’s to calm, if cold empty forest. “I’ll be right back.” Abigail touches his shoulder and mutters something he doesn’t understand.

                                “What?” He turns around, but he’s all alone.

                                “Hey!” A flashlight shines in Ben’s eyes. “You there!” Is that Uncle Dean? Ben covers his eyes and tries to look at the man, but he can’t see him in the glare. “Is anyone with you?” That definitely sounds like Uncle Dean

                                “What? I…”

                                “Are you lost kid?” He’s carrying a gun. He looks like  Uncle Dean, walks like Uncle Dean, but he’s also casually pointing a gun at him, which is not something Uncle Dean has ever done.

                             “Uncle Dean!” Abigail appears as quickly as she left, with a live Shelly who attempts to hide behind Ben as several other people appear around them.

                            “Abigail!” A dark man quickly scoops her up. “Are you alright? Were you injured?”

                             “I’m alright, Abba, but Ben’s hurt. One of those Levi grabbed him and made his wrist black.” She informs him.

                             “You are in so much trouble, young Lady.” Ben sees his Aunt Bree come up and grab hold of Shelly before they disapprear.

                             “We’ll discuss this all together.” Abigail’s father says gently, still holding her close. “After I tend to Ben and get him home.”

                             “Well… that’s… actually… it might take a minute.” She confesses.

                             “We’ll discuss it later.” Ben finds himself in a nice apartment with a beautiful kitchen that almost looks like the ones on the food network. “Abigail’s with her mother.” He informs Ben who looks around for her. “Come with me.” Abigail’s father motions him to the bathroom and unwraps the bandages. It hasn’t spread much, but his finger tips look a little blue and his hand is pure white and cold. He gives a sigh of relief that confuses Ben and takes a bottle out from under the sink. When he pours it over Ben’s wrist, the black corrupted portion just melts away, leaving tendon and muscle exposed. It doesn’t hurt, but he does feel oddly sick and maybe like he’s going to faint. Pretty much only the possiblity of Abigail and Shelly finding out keeps him going. In the next second, his wrist and hand are back to normal.

                            “Thank you.”

                            “I’m afraidit’ll take a week or so to gather and prepare the ingredients to get you home, Ben, but until then you’re welcome to stay here with us, in the guest room.” He pat Ben’s shoulder. How does he know where he’s from? Did Abigail tell him?

                            “Thank you.” Ben repeates, “is… is Abigail in alot of trouble? She was just trying to help her cousin.”

                            “Abigail will be fine.” her father gently reassure him and heads out to the kitchen, “Are you hungry?”

                            “Yes please, but I’m only allowed to eat organic, pesticide free, not hormone treated foods, preferably heirloom varieties. and unprocesses.” Ben reluctantly informs the man who raises an eyebrow at him. “I’m already in enough trouble.” He explains a bit embarassed.

                            “You’re not responsible for what I choose to feel you. Do you have any food allergies or intolerances?”

                           “No.” Ben replies honestly. “Not that I’m aware of.”

                          “Any foods that you simply dislike?”

                          “Most of it?” Ben confesses. Abigail’s fatehr gives a small smile.

                          “Tell me what you do like then and I’ll work from there.”

 

                          “Where’s Ben?” Abigail looks around the bunker as she and Shelly find themselves on chairs at the end of the long table with their parents and relatives around them. 

                          “Your father’s taking care of him.” her mother informs her. “You’ll see him later.”

                          “What do you two have to say for yourselves?” Uncle Dean demands. Shelly and Abigail both remain silent.

                          “Abigail.” Shelly’s dad sits down near her. “How did you resurrect Michele? This is very important.”

                          “I didn’t sell my soul, Uncle Sam, it’s fine. Everything fine.” But she just looks down at her hands.

                           “Don’t look at me. She won’t tell me anything.” Shelly looks away, arms crossed, sounding as irritated as her response makes everyone else.

                           “You don’t know that it’s fine, Abigail. Whatever deal or bargain you made can have serious consequences.” her mother takes her hand.

                           “Don’t look at me. She won’t tell me anything.” Shelly looks away, arms crossed, sounding as irritated as her response makes everyone else.

                           “You have your own confession to make, little girl.” her father says cooly. “Do you even understand at all what you’ve done wrong?”

                           “I really think a private conversation ismore appropriate for this than public shaming.” Their Uncle says after a minute of continued silence from the girls.

                           “We already know more than you think we do, Michele.” her father ignores him and places the packet and letters that Abigail left the twins on the table.

                           “What’s that?” Shelly looks at it not too concerned.

                           “My, um, my contingency plan.” Abigail says quietly. “I left behind a comprehensively detailed account of my plans, my reasons, and the situation in case something went wrong and I couldn’t get back.” she looks at her hands. “I really didn’t expect the twins to find it or hand it over quite so fast as they did.”

                         “Oh, those little snitches, how could you put stuff in writing though, Abigail. Seriously!” Shelly nudges her cousins arm.

                         “Michele, Abigail behaved far more responsibly in this then you have, thought not by much.” Her father snaps.

                          “Mom...,” Shelly turns to her mother, who’s sitting on the edge of teh table, arms crossed.

                         “Don’t ‘mom’ me. Trust me you do not want me taking the lead on this thing.”  Gabriel shakes her head. “Now talk.”

                         “About what? You have everything there, don’t you?” She challenges and reaches out to look at them.

                          “We don’t know.” Michael takes the papers back before she can take them. “And since we don’t know, you won’t. Your only option is to be honest and tell us the truth, the whole truth.” Luci winces slightly at this declaration, and the flash in Shelly’s eyes it provokes.

                           “Alright, you want the truth, here’s the damn truth. We did what we di, what we had to do becaue you old people can’t seem to solve a problem without almost ending the damn world in the process. Okay? You’re trying to protect us from danger? That’s great. I understand that, but so far, the biggest danger to us I can see is you. So untilyou all take your heads out of your asses and admit that you couldn’t have done better and likely would have done much the same thing in our position, I will be in my fucking room.” Shelly grabs Abigail’s purse and vanishes. Janice Joplin immediately starts blaring from the halls after the obligatory door slam. Abigail just covers her eyes in mortification.

                            “Are you sure you don’t want to let me handle this?” Gabriel’s mouth twitches as her husband just stares angrily at the wall, trying to calm down. “Okay.” She raises her hands as he shoots her a look. “You can be the bad guy. it is your turn, so… Abigail.” She snaps a sound barrier around the hall so everyone can hear properly. “Sweet, responsible, Abigail. all of us know that there’s much more to this than you’re telling us, such as who resurrected my daughter, at what price, how you found out she died. I assume you weren’t there at the time. Were you?” Abigail doesn’t say anything. 

                 “No, she’d have called for us immediately if she was there. Before Shelly got herself killed.” Luci speaks up. “Abigail, we want to know who you’re protecting, because either they deserve our thanks, or they don’t deserve your protection.And we’re very good at knowing which.”

                            “Please just tell us the truth, Abby.” Her mother takes her hand again. “We will believe you, no matter how strange and we’re not unreasonable.”

                             “I don’t have anything else to say. Everything important is in there.” She nods to the papers in Michael’s hands. “I know I have to be punished and I won’t argue. I should be punished for what i did wrong, but I have nothing else to say.” She looks downright miserable as she looks at her mother’s hands holding hers. “If you could just tell me what my punishment is….”

                            “I can’t.” her mom sighs. “I don’t know enough to give you a proper one. So, until you tell us everything, as you know you should, you’re grounded. Home school and with a parent or adult relative only. Kind of a contempt of court thing? And don’t expect to get time served when you do tell.” She says evenly, “And if you don’t tell us by the end of the school year or disappear like that again, we’re going to have to put you back in the hunters school next year. Understand?” she puts her hand to Abigail’s cheek.

                              “Yes, mom.” She says quietly and accepts her mother’s kiss on the cheek. 

                              “Alright. I’m taking her home.” Alex stands up and looks to everyone else. “As soon as I learn anything I’ll let you know.”


	19. The law of Unintended Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly, Ben and Abigail learn of some consequences to their actions they didn't expect.

               “You were absolutely no help at all.” Sam turns angrily to Luci who’s not the least disturbed.

               “Well, it’s hard to do the whole good cop bad cop thing without a good cop and i told you it was a mistake to approach it this way. Shelly’s too stubborn and Abigail has too much integrity and fortitude to throw someone else under the bus for her own benefit.Using public shaming to manipulate information out of them was probably the worst way you could have handled any of it. but no, don’t listen to me. I’m only an expert at getting people to do what I want. What would I know?” Luci shrugs.

               “It’s not public shaming it was a family meeting. This was not a manipulation tactic; this is parenting, Lucifer.”

               “I know what you think you were doing, Samuel, and even just as the parents of the only two children who behaved correctly in this whole situation you’d think you’d have listened to Michael and me a little more.” He gives Sam a rather smug look, that really makes Sam want to punch him. “Mitcha, back me up…. oh where the hell is she?” Luci sits up straight and looks around.

                “He went to talk to Shelly.” Gabriel says with a smile still on her lips, sounding far too amused for Sam’s liking.

                “Why are you laughing at this? None of this is funny. Our daughter DIED and we didn’t know it.” Sam turns to his wife.

                “No, I know, it’s just she preemptively grounded herself and took the puppy with her. So, yes, I’m a little amused. I want to fucking kill her, but that doesn’t mean i don’t see the humor in the situation.”

                 “I understand completely, paseh.” Luci reaches up and pats Gabriel’s head.“ I did notice that too. Why don’t you go get your husband to calm down and wait for Shelly to calm down and we can have another go at this. A slightly better thought out one, maybe?”

                  “Get out of my house.”Sans response is hardly unexpected.

                  “I need to get back to the twins anyways.” Luci shrugs, not bothered in the least.

                  “I’ll take you home.” Gabriel offers and snaps them off. Sam just covers his face with his hands, resting his elbows on the table.

                  “He has a point, Sammy.” Dean sits on the table next to him.

                  “Shut up, Dean.”

                  “I know you’re trying to put your foot down and everything, but that’s never been your relationship with her, Sam. You know that.”

                  “Maybe it should have been.”

                  “Maybe, maybe not who knows, but Shelly is Shelly and you’re both stubborn and strong willed and in general she’s a good kid. You know you’re never going to be able to control her, Sam. You wouldn’t be a better father if you were more like dad, like you’re not quite saying.”

                   “I’m not… I’m her father. I’m supposed to keep her safe. I don’t want to outlive her, Dean.”

                   “You didn’t. You died like, years before she was even a possibility. Look, I know what it’s like trying to protect someone who’s just not having it. And what it’s like to have to learn to let go. She’s so much like you Sam, and God knows i didn’t know how to properly deal with hormonal teenage you. And one who could get pregnant, at that.” The look his brother gives him at this is almost frightening. “Don’t pretend it can’t happen. Hell it even happened to Michael, remember that cluster fuck?”

                    “Yes,” Sam can’t help but smile. It was kind of amusing.

                   Michael and Luci stopped back to see their brother who was with Sam watching Shellly and Abigail play after their honeymoon and get their respective bodies back only to be told by Raphael that he really can’t until the second trimester without hurting the babies. Dean just saw Gabriel running for her life denying any involvement, hiding behind Luci (still in Michael’s body) who was laughing his head off. He then started running as Michael turned to him. It took a while to figure out that it was a prank by the nightingale from when the other helel was in Luci’s body that she’d completely forgotten about. Granted no one expected the two to switch bodies for the honeymoon as Michael’s gift to Luci.

                     Luci made it clear that if Michael wanted to keep the babies, Michael would be keeping the pregnant body, because that’s the only way Luci would be a willing parent. The argument lasted a year before Michael gave in, mostly because Death sent a letter telling them that he wasn’t going to hold onto the souls indefinitely, and Luci refused to budge. Plus, Raphael and Alex were finally going to get married and Michael wanted his body back for the wedding, so he could be the best man and not have Luci be in all the pictures in his place.

                    “Nothing is ever simple in this family, is it?” Dean grumbles.

                    “No,” Sam still smiles. “I miss my baby girl, the cute little thing who’s biggest misbehavior was raiding her uncle’s closet without permission for a doctor’s coat and thermometer for a sick Luci.”

                    “She is a good kid, Sam. She really is. Try not to forget that.” Dean nudges his shoulder. “It’s not like we all don’t make a habit of breaking rules, even laws, for what we deem the greater good.”

                    “Right.” Sam takes a breath.

                    “Of course she’s also a stubborn loud infuriating over dramatic sneaky little weasel, too, so…”  Dean considers.

                    “A weasel, Dean? Really?”

                    “I dunno, what’s a cute rodent thing? A ferret? She’s a sneaky little baby ferret.”

                    “Okay, I’ll take that.” Sam gives a small laugh.

                    “I love her, but she’s exhausting.”

                    “She takes after her mother in that way. I’ll be right back.” Sam gets to his feet, and heads to his daughter’s room just to see how she’s doing.

                     “But… Auntie Miqa… “He stops as he can see Shelly at the door.

                     “Being someone’s guardian angel is a privilege not a right, Michele. It carries with it responsibilities and obligations. I’m sorry but I’m relieving you of your duties. Until you have shown yourself equal to the task. Abigail is no longer under your care.” Michael holds his hand out.

                       “But that’s not fair. I’d do anything for my little Abby-girl. I… I’ve been protecting her since she was a baby.”

                       “You have been learning to protect her. But you are not a child anymore and because of your actions she was left without protection when she went into great danger. Furthermore your lack of cooperation continues to put her in danger. If she has dealt with demons to bring you back, the consequences to her, to her soul could be dire.”

                        “Oh no it’s not. She can’t deal with demons. I made sure of that. And I tried to get her to tell me everything, but she won’t. I’m doing everything I can Aunt Michael and it’s not my fault she’s behaving this way.”

                         “No, it isn’t. This is not about her behavior, or her choice, it’s about you and yours. You are not ready to be trusted with this kind of responsibility. Now hand me your weapon.” Michael commands her firmly. Shelly forces herself to hand him her blade. “We will discuss earning this back when this affair is over and resolved to my satisfaction.”

                         “Fine!  I won’t be… be blackmailed, anyways!” Shelly clenches her fists.

                         “Michele.’ Michael sighs. “This is not open to change no matter what you do or say right now, this is because of what you have done or not done, and not because of what you are doing or will do after this moment. Even if you had been nothing but cooperative and forthcoming from the moment you returned, I would still be doing this. I’m sorry. I had higher hopes for you than this.” Michael gently puts a hand on her shoulder and leaves. Shelly turns to look at her father, her eyes clearly brimming with tears and just slams the door shut between them again, the music turning back on. But he can still hear her starting to cry.

                         It takes all his strength not to try to go comfort her. She’s just tell him to go away, anyway. And it’s not as if he can honestly disagree with Michael’s decision. Maybe he should let his wife handle this. or at best he should go talk to her, they don’t really discuss things like this enough. Of course, there hasn’t really been things like this to discuss. All he knows is that he has no idea what to do.

 

                         Abigail sits at her desk waiting for her father to come and talk to her, scold her, say something to her about all of this. but he doesn’t.

                         “You’re not confined to your room, hon.” Her mom leans against the door frame.

                         “I know.”

                         “Come and eat, your father made chicken cacciatore and I think Ben’s going to eat all if you’re not out soon.”

                         “That is the most delicious thing I’ve ever eaten.” She hears Ben sigh as she follows her mother out.

                          “Abigail?” Her father puts some more on Ben’s plate.

                          “Yes, Abba?”

                          “Do you have my mirror?”

                          “Yes, Abba.” Abigail goes back to her room and takes it out of her backpack. it’s still intact. She took it in case one of her family’s counterparts found her so they couldn’t contact her parents and send her home. She hands it back to him and he leaves the room either to put it away or talk to his counterpart.

                           “Are you in a lot of trouble?” Ben asks quietly in enochian. Abigail just shrugs, and picks up her fork. “Did they yell at you?”

                            “No.”

                            “Are you okay?” Another shrug. “Do you want to talk about it?” She shakes her head. “Would a hug help?” He says half jokingly as Abigail’s mother heads over to the bedroom. Much to his surprise she hugs him.

                            “I’m sorry I dragged you into this. I hope you don’t get into too much trouble.” Abigail apologizes, her face pressed into his shoulder.

                            “It was my decision and worth any trouble I’m in. But I kind of hope I don’t either.” he confesses and awkwardly pats her back. She’s very warm. “So you told the about me?”

                             “No, why?”

                             “How did your father know who I was? That I was from another… thread of existence? Did you tell him?”

                             “Not yet, no. I don’t know how he knew, maybe he could just tell. Are you really Ben Winchester, Samuel Winchester’s son?” Abigail straightens up and wipes her eyes a little.

                              “Yes. I was named after my parents. Ben for my mother, Helel Ben Sahar, and Winchester for Samuel Winchester. I’m not sure why I was also named after my guardian angel because when my mother came back, she didn’t seem to like him very much.”

                              “When did she come back? Why did she leave?”

                              “She… she died giving birth to me. Her grace had been taken away and just dissipated into the abyss. They didn’t manage to get her back until I was five I think. You’d have to ask Dad for sure. I don’t really remember.”

                              “Oh,” Abigail makes that sad sound he remembers hearing when he told people he didn’t have a mommy but that she did leave him an angel to watch over him for her.

                               “I had Dad during the day and Hara took care ofme at night so Dad could sleep and we watched me when dad went out with Uncle Dean or had to help Aunt Jo on a hunt. She told me all about my mother, how beautiful she was, how smart, how brave, how perfect and pure. How she was the greatest of all the angels, the favored child of heaven who loved me so much she had me, even though it cost her life.” Ben traces some wings in the potatoes. “I never really measured up, I guess. too he’s human maybe, I don’t know. But I managed to fake it for along time. I suppose now that she knows, at least I won’t have to pretend anymore.”

                               “Helel ben Sahar is not and never has been perfect.  That angel is just as flawed as every other creature in all of existence.”Abigail refrains from rolling her eyes.

                               “You wouldn’t understand. You’re human.”

                               “My father is an angel, you know. My cousin’s a nephilim Iso yes, I understand feeling less than the sum of my parts. Look, you are a nephilim, the fact that you even exist means your angelic parent is not perfect or flawless. And probably there’s there’s so much more that you don’t know. I’m not saying she’s not incredible. Uncle Helel is very dear to me, but he’s not perfect either.”

                               “W-what do you mean Uncle Helel?”

                               “He’s my father Raphael’s older brother. i guess he identifies as female in your thread.” Abigail shrugs.  

                               “Your that… your father is the archangel Raphael?” Ben turns a little pale at this. His mother is not going to like that. And her father is likely not going to like it either.

                               “This is not going to be good.” Ben covers his face his hands breifly before running them back through his hair. It strikes Abigail that he does look very much like her Uncle Sam in some way. “They hate each other.”

                               “Actually, I get along with both Helels, but I only talk to Raphael. I see your mother and uncle are still not on the best of terms.” Abigail’s father walks back out. “Ben,” He paces the mirror down in front of him. Ben scoots back automatically, out of sight of the mirror’s face. “It’s not on. I have told your uncle where you are, that you’re safe and unharmed and that you chose to escort my daughter to her destination instead of letting her go alone and unprotected. He will tell your mother, but you are to stay with us for a while, and if you wish to speak to your parents he’s given his mirror to your father. Get some rest tonight and we can talk more in the morning.”

                               “ Longer than that week to prepare the ingredients?” Ben isn’t sure what to hope for. He’s not eager to face his mother, but the thought of her not wanting him back….

                               “Possibly. Unfortunately there’s a problem. A leviathan has found the back door to purgatory and they need to focus all their energy on capturing him, interrogating him, and locating and sealing the exit so that no leviathan can use it. While they wouldn’t necessarily send you away because of this, it makes it less than pressing that you be brought home immediately. Especially as he can now disguise himself as you and knows everything you know. Better to avoid confusion.”

                                “I see.” Ben just looks at the mirror. “Would… couldn’t he have given it to Harahel?”

                                “You can ask your father to talk to your angel when you speak to him. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to my siblings.” Raphael pats Ben’s shoulder, then he pauses a moment before kissing his daughter’s forehead and leaving without a word to her.

                            “I’ll… let me talk to my father. I’ll tell him about… that vampire.” Ben looks to Abigail who nods, not looking very enthused. “Thank you for dinner. And the place to stay.” Ben excuses himself and goes to the guest room.

 

                            Mule stares at the mirror, trying to think. It;s true that Ben did something he was absolutely not supposed to do, but it was by no means a bad thing to do. Personally he’s just happy that the innate rebellious streak he knows has to be in his son somewhere was limited to junk food, video games, and helping someone in need. Adn not running off to join the army or torturing your brother behind your sister’s back. Not that he thinks there’s anything wrong with the army or he would ever throw what his wife did to her brother in her face, but it’s true. His mother pushed him to college he pulled away to the army.  His counterparts father pushed him to hunting, his alternate self pulled away to college.

                          “Dad?” His sons anxious face appears on the glass.

                          “Hi, Ben.” Mule gives him a smile.

                          “Are you angry with me?”

                          “No, Ben. Worried yes, but not angry. Are you alright?” He straightens up.

                          “Yes.”

                          “So you ended up there because of a girl, huh?” Mule grins.

                          “Yes. No! Not like that.” Ben’s blushing face says differently. “She was doing something dangerous and needed help, even if she didn’t really think so. I’m sorry I let one of those black going shape shifting things get out. I didn’t mean to. I didn’t even know they existed.”

                          “I know, Ben. Neither did I. They’re called Leviathan and apparently they can know everything you know just by touching you. If your mother didn’t tell me about them, I doubt she told you, so you obviously couldn’t have known. And speaking of her, your mother’s not angry with you either. Well, she’s angry, but she’s really just worried and upset and has no idea what to do and that’s what’s making her angry.”

                           “I’m doomed, aren’t I?” Ben asks quietly.

                           “I’ll do my best to plead your case, Benny, but at the very least you’ll be grounded for a long time.”

                            “I know.” Ben looks down.

                            “So, this girl. Is she pretty?” His question gets the color back into his son’s cheeks.

                             “Dad, that’s neither here nor there. I need to ask you something.” He is so much like his mother sometimes. It’s adorable. “There was this vampire in purgatory. She attacked the leviathan things and made it let go of me so Abigail and I could cross over here and let the close the portal between threads close. She saved us and.. and Abigail thought it was her mother.”

                            “I see.” Mule sighs. “You want us to save a dead vampire because it helped you in purgatory.”

                             “Yes.”

                             “Ben, your mother is never going to agree to that, you know that.”

                             “I know. That’s why I’m asking you.” Those big pleading blue eyes and pout are alot like they were at three. But not quite as irresistible.

                             “I will look into things, and see what can be done. But I’m making no promises and will more likely than not involve something other than resurrecting it, understand?” Mule tries his best to sound stern but Ben’s face lights up anyways.

                             “Thank you, Dad. I just… for Abigail you know.” He sounds so relieved as if that vampire is as good as saved or in heaven right now.

                             “Don’t mention it.” Mule sighs. Ben has enough to worry about as it is, but it isn’t as if he made any promises. “So about this girl.”

                             “We’re just friends, Dad. And I think she’s kind of my cousin.”

                             “I’m not supposed to want to know about your friends?”

                             “No, it’s just. There’s not much to say, that’s all.”

                             “I suppose not.” Mule takes mercy on the poor boy. “Tell me about your adventures. What happened? Why did it happen? Things like that.”

                             “Well, apparently, Abigail beat the crap out of Balthazar when he tried to stop her from going into the boundaries of hell…” Ben starts.

                             “That sounds like quite a lot to say, Ben.”

                             “Maybe. I wasn’t there.” Ben looks away a bit uncomfortable. “It’s Balthazar, maybe she just tricked him or cast a spell  and he was embarrassed, or he was drunk or something.”

                             “I’m sorry. Continue.”

                             “And so Cas was called away to help him and cut my training of early…”

  


	20. My Brother's keeper

             “So…” Gabriel sits on the edge of her daughter’s bed. “Was it worth it?”

             “No,but there’s not exactly anything I can do about the family I’m born to, so…” The little brat keeps her head buried in her pillow.

              “Not your best one, sweetie. Are you okay?” Gabriel rubs her back a little.

              “No. I didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t fair!” she screams into the pillow.

              “You did a lot of things wrong and you know it, kiddo.” 

              “No, I did things you didn’t want me to or approve of, there’s a difference.” Shelly shoots back.

               “I do know the difference little girl, and the difference between wrong and immoral as well. I also know the difference between an adult and a child and what is appropriate for them to do and the roles they occupy. Because it ended in your death, I’d hoped you’d have learned a few from experience alone, but apparently not. Part of me hopes that you very well do know what you wrong, but are just too stubborn to admit it to us yet because you don’t think you should be punished for it regardless of how badly you screwed up.”

                 “I don’t! And I am punished. AuntMichael fired me from being Abigail’s guardian angel. Isn’t that enough? Do you still have to be mad at me and trying to think of something else to do to me to make this worse?”

                 “That’s not a punishment, that’s a consequence.”

                 “What’s the difference?”

                 “The difference is, it’s not about you and your growth and instruction. It’s about Abigail and her welfare. If you have a job and can’t do the job properly, someone else is found who fits the needs of the job and you are taken off it. If you spend all your money on twizzlers and then find yourself when you need to buy milk, that’s a consequence, not a punishment.  And even if it was, your father and I didn’t have anything to do with Michael’s decision, though I don’t disagree with it, and I doubt your father does either. When you’re given a human to take care of it’s a serious thing and you need to take it seriously. Even if you weren’t just a teenager under our care and responsibility you still would have been fired, and probably never given the assignment again. Possibly even punished. It’s only because you’re young and stupid,” Gabriel raps her daughter’s head, “ and Abigail didn’t come to serious harm that you’ll have the chance to redeem yourself in the future.”

                  “But….”

                  “Michele, you took a side mission that caused you to abandon the care of your charge. Yes, it’s because you were killed, but that still left Abigail unprotected, especially as you didn’t get anyone to replace your duties. No one knew where you were, what you were doing, or what had happened to you. Do you know what else that’s called? Desertion. You went awol at the very least.”

                   “I can’t beleive you of all people are saying this to me.” Shelly turns over scowling at her mother.

                   “So you wish I’d stayed and fought against my brothers? Killed some of them? I absolutely did suffer the consequences of what I did, but this is not the same. You hurt and upset so many people with what you did. And we didn’t deserve that. None of us did. If you can just get out of your own self pity for one minute and think about that, but why should you? You’re always right and think that justifies everything. It doesn’t. Especially not hurting your loved ones this way. What’s worse is you didn’t need to. At all. Do you think I wouldn’t have helped you with this?”

                    Shelly just crosses her arms and glares at the ceiling.

                    “What if Abby had died, Shelly-belly? It would not have been your fault, I’m not saying that. But when you did what you did, it consequently led to Abigail having a choice to make that she otherwise wouldn’t have. And if you think your lack of trust and faith in us has no influence on her deciding we couldn’t be trusted to handle this, then you’re just kidding yourself. Her doing the right thing and your doing the right thing wouldn’t have made her any less to us. Or you. Don’t get me wrong it was brilliant as anything to think of getting into purgatory by crossing into another dimension where the backdoor was still open and crossing back. But she went alone without telling anyone.  Just like you went alone without telling anyone. And we don’t know what would have happened to her soul if she died over there. Would death have brought her back to us? Would she have been sent to their abyss? Would heaven there have even taken her in? She doesn’t even exist over there. She could have been sent to hell or taken by some other psychopomp when the reapers didn’t know what to do with her. We didn’t know where she was. Yes, we’d have found her eventually, but how long would it have taken? What would she have had to endure in the mean time? Did you think about that? No, you didn’t.”

                     “She was not supposed to be involved in this! I left her out of it. I sure as hell didn’t tell her or have her told when I died. I’m still trying to figure out the asshole who was stupid enough to do so.” Shelly hits the mattress, still venting her ire into her pillow, not looking at her mother, which at least means she does feel guilty about that.

                     “Yes, I know, you’re not that irresponsible. You would never intentionally put her in harms way, but it takes alot more experience and luck to keep from unintentionally putting your loved ones in harms way or worse.” Gabriel goes back to rubbing her back.“You said we always fuck up the world trying to fix it, which, I can’t really deny has been a trend. But what you should have taken from that is not that we’re old and incompetant. What you should have taken from that is that there are always so many factors we can’t all possibly know, so many potential consequences to your actions that it is so incredibly easy for things to end up as a giant cluster fuck, even if you only did a few things wrong. Made a few harmless mistakes, lost a key piece of information, trusted someone you shouldn’t have, didn’t trust someone you should have. And doing the right thing doesn’t always end the way you want it to. The two best most right choices I ever made in my life ended in my death. but if I had made other smaller choices right, sooner, I might not have had to make those particular choices. It’s all so complicated and if someone who’s been alive since the dawn of time can’t keep things from going to hell, or spot all the right options in the million of options available, how can a young woman of sixteen solar years expect to make all the right choices at the right times with nothing going wrong? Especially working all by herself. It’s possible, anything’s possible, but it’s about as likely as the entire world also making the right choices at the right time with nothing going wrong which would be required in order for that to happen.”

                   “So… so what?” Shelly sits up, “I should just stay put do nothing and hope no one else makes a mess of things?” She challenges.

                    “For a few years, yes. You are awesome, Shelly-girl. In every sense of the word, but celestial political countercoups were just slightly out of your league. And unnecessary. You need to have a little faith in your uncle. And in us.”

                     “But…” Shelly starts but she can’t think of an objection. Dying while doing something she did not intend to die doing is kind of a clear sign that she was over her head and she has no idea how to argue otherwise even though she wants to.

                     “Think, Michele. I know you have a brain in there.” Her mom raps her head again. “I mean, I have met your father. If you got at least half of his intellect, you could get it.”

                      “I have been thinking! I did think, and I thought it was the best plan available. I didn’t want them courting Uncle Helel again and I knew if I turned them down that’s where they’d head next. He’s bored. He’s restless. He’s not challenged at all. He joined the local orchestra for Chrissake. I didn’t want him to have the temptation. You know how easy it would be to find some… rationalization to doing it, to protect me, to protect Abigail, to keep the demons in line. You’re telling me to have faith in him, when none of you really do. And I do understand why.” Shelly’s eyes start to brim. “I read those books, mom. I saw what he was and what he did and how very very long he was just.. broken and evil caring nothing about anything. And after they ended, I know that wasn’t all. I know he did terrible things to dad that I can’t even… I couldn’t let that happen again. I couldn’t!” 

                  “Oh, honey.” Gabriel hugs her almost hysterical daughter, “I understand, but we’re grounding you anyways.”

                   “Who the fuck cares!” Shelly cries. “It doesn’t even matter anyways. Abby hates me and she has Ben to protect her now. Which is a mistake. That little boy can’t even fight and he doesn’t even know her. And who does he think he is anyways protecting MY Abigail.”

                    “Shelly, you sound like a jealous lover.” Her mother comments dryly.

                    “EW! Mom, we’re cousins.  Don’t be disgusting. And yes I’m jealous. She’s mine!”

                    “You know this is why we never gave you a younger sibling. It was clear you’d never be able to handle the competition. You barely put up with the existence of the twins.” Gabriel shakes her head. “At least you won’t have to put up with your baby brother for long. Hopefully you won’t scar him for life.”

                    “You shut your mouth!” Shelly gasps pushing her mother away. “That thing is not my brother. How dare you suggest!”

                   “Well, yes and no, he’s the son of that other thread’s Sam. With the other Luci. He was also… accidental, but I guess he’s kind of the other thread’s answer to you.” She pinches Shelly’s nose, desperately hoping what’s going to happen is not what she knows is going to happen.

                    “No! No. No. Nonononono. No. And no that thing is an abomination and I don’t believe you. There are hundreds of winchesters. There are even towns called Winchester. He is not my brother and how could you joke about your brother and your husband having a child together.” She points accusingly at her mother. “This is so far beyond the boundaries of good taste....” Michele resembles her namesake at the oddest times, Gabriel is never prepared for it, but it’s always somehow amusing. “I’m not joking.”

                   “Neither am I. The other me was terrible and the other Sam was not the man I married. He was but he wasn’t. The same with Helel, and they were adorable together, perfect together. I saw it, you’d have seen it. But you know, genetically, Ben is your half brother, or that’s the best way of putting it.”

                    “No.” Shelly shakes her head. “No. I refuse.”

                    “You can’t ‘refuse’ science, Shelly Bean.” Gabriel informs her.

                    “The hell I can’t!” Shelly vanishes. Gabriel sighs and looks down at the small confused hellpup who’s peeping out from under the pillows.

                     “Good golly miss molly, you are one ugly creature. Why are you still so small? Hasn’t she been feeding you?” Gabriel picks it up and starts scratching it behind the ears. “What do you feed hellhounds anyways. Ah well, at least you smell like cotton candy and not sulfur. What do you say, shall we wait here for our little hurricane to come back? Yeah, let’s do that.” She didn’t say Shelly was grounded yet, exactly, technically, so there won’t be a need to start another argument when she gets back. Or at the very least she can let her baby girl win one. The poor thing needs a win.

 

                    “Ow!” Ben bolts up and rubs his sore head. It feels like someone just jerked out some of his hair or something. Is he bleeding? What the hell?

                    “Ben, are you alright?” This Raphael asks him. He can smell something sweet cooking.

                    “I think so.” Ben walks out into the kitchen. “What are you making?”

                    “Angel bait.” He gives a small smile and drizzles melted chocolate over a sheet of caramel popcorn with nuts and then sprinkles toffee bits over it. Ben’s eyes grow as wide as saucers. There are what look like candy coated pecans scattered in there as well. “Here. Careful, it’s hot.” He hands Ben the chocolate lined pot and drizzle spoon. 

                     “What do you want me to do?”

                     “Eat it?” He tosses a few heath bits and pralines onto the pot. 

                     “Oh, okay.” Ben sits down and blows on the spoon. Pure milk chocolate. It’s delicious. “Why is it called Angel bait?”

                     “Ohhhh, you didn’t!” Gabriel appears standing on a stool behind her brother, to look over his shoulder at the counter covered in chocolate drizzled caramel popcorn. “I hope you made some for me.”

                      “Some is the key word. How’s Michele?” He asks.

                      “Well, I gave her something else to worry about. I still don’t think I got through to her though. This is him?” She looks over to Ben who looks adorable with his white hair, fair complexion, and big green-speckled ice blue eyes. Especially the prettiest little mouth sucking on a chocolate and candy covered spoon. “Man, it’s like if Dean fucked a snowman.” She muses.

                       “Gabriel!” Raphael smacks her shoulder. “He does look a bit like his uncle, though. Only prettier. His hair is more like his father’s though.” Ben can’t help but think that the best thing about Abigail so far is that she hasn’t made excessive comments on his looks, and how pretty he is.  Though these two certainly sound like his Aunt Bree and Uncle Raphael. Sort of. He’s never really spoken to his Uncle directly. He let his mother die after all, and there’s nothing he can ever do to make up for that.

                        “If she’s eaten it all, you know you’re making more right?” The apartment door opens. Ben turns to see a tall gorgeous woman with his mother’s eyes and movement, stride in and to the other side of the island, grabbing some Angel Bait. “Who’s this?”

                      “This is Ben. He’s your and Sam’s son.” Gabriel informs her almost gleefully.

                      “Not funny.” She pops some of the caramel popcorn into her mouth. “Mmm, thanks. I’m still recovering from the shock of my babies’ good behavior. I never would have suspected them of doing the right things like that, and so quickly, too. Just goes to show, you never can tell.” The other two just glare at her, not the least appreciative of her comments. “So, really, who is he?”

                       “We never told him, did we?” Gabriel suddenly turns to the woman, though she’s clearly talking to Raphael. Ben just keeps the spoon in his mouth, not trusting himself to say anything anyways.

                       “No. We didn’t.” Raphael gives a mean smile that’s not nearly as hate filled as Ben’s uncle’s expressions regarding his mother usually.

                        “Other Sammy and other you were with child when we left and that child is this beautiful frosted baby boy we see before us. Ben Harahel Winchester.” Gabriel motion to Ben like a spokesmodel introducing a luxury showcase.

                          “Well, regardless of whatever prank my siblings are trying to play now, thank you for helping my sane niece rescue my crazy one. Good boy.” She pats his head and sticks a piece of popcorn to his nose before carrying the first tray full of Angel baith back across the hall. 

                          “That… is not my mother. “Ben says solemnly taking the piece off his nose.

                          “No, that’s her counterpart in this thread. He goes by Luci. He and Michael have nine year old twins, Riley and Chris, your younger half siblings. They won’t be as mean as Shelly.”

                         “Though they can be.. mischievous.” Raphael warns him.

                         “They’re little trouble making pranksters.”

                         “Wh…” Ben accidentally inhales a pecan at this, choking on it. Gabriel just pats his back until he can breathe again.

                         “Why must you traumatize the boy? He’s been through enough today.” Raphael scolds her. She just shrugs. “You can get your amusement at someone else’s expense.”

                         “So… my mother is… not in an incestuous relationship with her sister with inbred abominations for offspring?” Ben asks hopefully.

                         “Unfortunately, Helel and Michael are in fact married to each other, with two children who are not inbred abominations.” Raphael hands him some water. “While there are countless reasons to object to this, genetic diversity is not one of them. Their vessels are not closely related enough to count as incest, and given the previous swing of the pendulum was the apocalypse, this is something we can all live with, or more accurately survive.”

                          “Will you look at him though? He’s prettier than Luci.” Gabriel just looks at him, her head resting on her hand. “Why the hair though?”

                          “He’s a nephilim, Gabriel. It often affects and alters gene expression.” Rapael informs her. “And it’s not polite to stare and make unnecessary comments on his appearance.”

                          “Shelly’s not affected by my grace that way, though.” She ignores him.

                          “Gabriel, you are the living embodiment of sunlight dancing in the wind. She couldn’t have looked any different. The fact that your body is similar in coloring to hers is coincidence. Now leave him alone.”

                          “Hmmm.” Gabriel ignores him taking some popcorn. “Could you imagine what an earth goddess Abigail would have been if she’d been a nephilim? Would she have had green hair do you think? Or just curlier black hair.”

                           “Abigail is beautiful enough as she is. She doesn’t need the help of angelic grace.” Ben snaps before Raphael can defend his daughter. Gabriel looks at him with an intrigued and amused expression that’s too familiar for him not to feel completely seen through.

                           “I don’t care WHAT this says!’ Shelly appears slamming some papers down on the table. ”You are NOT my brother!”

                           “Am I supposed to be disappointed?” Ben looks at her calmly. Shelly vanishes again in a huff.

                           “That was fast. Oh, she went back a few hours.” Gabriel comments as she picks the papers up.

                           “Why did she have a DNA test done? I could have told her they were a genetic match for siblings. But that’s not… oh please don’t tell me you’re…”

                           “What?” Gabriel smiles innocently.

                           “Excuse us.” Raphael grabs her by the neck and takes her away just as she grabs another fistfull of popcorn. Ben just stares at the empty space in front of him. When Abigail said she wanted someone relative sane to talk to, he never imagines it was this bad. Not in a million years.

 

                           “Oh, Alice.” A sobbing figure drapes itself across her stomach. “I have had just the worst day.” 

                            “Shelly?” Alice’s heart leaps almost completely out of her chest. 

                            “Does anyone else break in to your room in the middle of the night demanding snuggles? Because you know i don’t like to share.” Shelly climbs into the bed and wraps herself around Alice like her freind is a giant body pillow. Alice just lays there torn between relief that Shelly’s okay, anger that she disappeared like that and the accompanying desires to either slap her or hug her back and smother her with relieved kisses.

                           “Thank god you’re alright.” Alice turns into her, grabbing her friend, the third option of tears making itself knows by forcing their way out.. “What is wrong with you? I was worried sick. Pretty much every member of your family came to interrogate me about what I knew about where you were and what you were doing and I couldn’t tell them anything.”

                          “I know, that’s why I didn’t tell you.” Shelly sniffs as she’s apparently been crying too. “I can tell you now, I guess. When I was waiting for my Georgie girl to be born and ready in hell, some parties interested in making me a figure head for a new regime approached me so I played along, lured them all out, and killed each and every one.”

                           “What! Oh my god! Shelly, you could have been killed!” Alice squeezes her tighter and tries to keep her volume down.

                           “I kind of was. The last sucker got me just as he died. So.. But Abigail came and got me and now I’m in trouble, probably grounded for life, she’s grounded too probably and won’t tell me who the hell helped her to do this and what’s worse she brought back some stupid little useless abomination of a brat to replace me now that I’ve been fired and she hates me and he is not my brother. i don’t care what anything anyone says anywhere. And I just need my Alice right now.”

                          “Okay.” Alice says though she’s more than slightly confused. But she just let’s Shelly curse this mystery boy and complain until she’s calmed down and can explain herself better. Unfortunately she and Shelly both fall asleep before that can happen.

                           “ALICE EDITH WALLACE!” Her mother’s horrified exclamation  wakes Alice immediately with what must be a heart attack. Shelly is still wrapped around her like a vine on a tree, and not quite awake even with this noise. Of course with Shelly’s mother why would a little whisper like this wake her? “Get out of that bed this instant! Both of you!”

                           “No. Mine.” Shelly mumbles, changing her grip to python on prey when Alice tries to comply. The resulting explosion from Alice’s mother is not fit for print, but it does wake Shelly better than a bucket of ice water to the head. “Don’t you fucking talk to her that way!” And she’s to her feet in an instant.

                            “Shelly… Michele, please just… just go… okay?” Alice pleads and prods Shelly towards the door.

                            “Get out of my house before I call the police!”

                            “It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” Alice continues to try and reassure Shelly who feels even less like leaving that she did before. “Just… go. Okay? I’ll talk to you later.” Alice promises.

                            “Oh no you won’t, you are never seeing touching or speaking to that little whore ever again!” Alice’s mother says as Shelly reluctantly starts to leave the room.

                            “Excuse me!” Shelly turns around to face Mrs. Wallace.

                            “Shelly, please!” Alice begs just praying she’ll listen for once. Much to her suprise and almost disappointment, Shelly holds her tongue and walks calmly down the stairs and out the door. When the argument is over, however, and the ultimatum given, Shelly is there, sitting on the sidewalk, waiting to walk Alice to school. 

                            “You forgot your shoes.” Shelly points out. “And your backpack, and jacket and clothes.” She points out Alice’s barefoot, nightgowned state.

                            “No, I didn’t forget.” Alice says dully, and walks over to her. “Do you think you can take me to the shelter? I don’t live here anymore.

                            “What? She… She can’t…” Shelly struggles between the urge to confront Alice’s mother and demand she take Alice back, and the urge to wrap Alice up in warmth and just take her someplace infinitely better. But since it’s cold, the struggle doesn’t last long, and Shelly takes Alice to her Uncle’s.

                            “I didn’t mean this shelter.” Alice sighs. “I’m not fleeing supernatural persecution.”

                            “I don’t know I’m fairly sure your mother is a demon in the making at the very least.” Shelly agrees and knocks on the bedroom door. “Uncle Helel? I mean, Aunt Luci? Helloooo.”

                            “What? I mean, hold on.” Luci gradually gets to the door. “Didn’t you refuse to leave your room until everyone else saw reason?” He raises an eyebrow at his neice, who ignores the comment. “Or at least you’re grounded.”

                             “Not important. Alice needs a place to stay. And clothes and well, a family until she graduateas, so… Please?” Shelly prods Alice forwards. Alice’s wide surprised eyes indicate she was not a part of this decision.

                             “Don’t ask me questions at the break of dawn, kid.”

                             “I thought you were the ‘morning star’?” Alice jokes because what else when you can do when your best freind asks the devil to adopt you? Shelly laughs. Her uncle does not.

                             “That wasn’t funny when her aunt said it, it’s not funny from you, but at least Alex had the decency to follow it up with coffee and donuts.” Luci grumbles. Shelly snaps up a latte and a dozen donuts. “that’s more like it.” He takes a drink. “I’m not saying yes because it’s too fucking early to make that kind of decision, but she can say until we figure it out. You can take whatever bed the twins aren’t using. Shelly, go home.”

                              “Thank you, Uncle Helel.” Shelly gives a charming smile and kisses his cheek before vanishing. 

                               “I.. I have school…”

                               “Do you have your books andhomework and all of that?”

                               “No.” Alice admits.

                               “Then I’m calling you out today. Go back to bed, relax, you look exhausted. I’ll have Michael get you something when he gets back from training the fledglings.” Luci points to the twin’s door and disappears back into his bedroom. Alice looks over to the twins room and decides to just sleep on the couch instead.


	21. Devil May Day-Care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael and Sam bond over thei disobedient teenage daughters and try to figure out what to do.  
> Michael informs Luci that they will be watching all the children for a while.

                      “How’s Michelle?” Raphael asks as Sam pours himself a drink.

                      “By all appearances she’s deeply, clinically depressed. She won’t eat, hasn’t left her room this week, won’t talk to anyone. She just lays in bed all day holding the hellhound puppy which I should probably take away from her but at this point it just feels like kicking her while she’s down and I don’t know what to do with it anyways. It’s clearly attached to her now. And if I do manage to get her to give it back, where would it go? Hell? Where it would be trained to retrieve souls and I or some other hunter would have to kill it eventually, after it kills people?”

                      “I’ll talk to Michael. We’ll find a solution that doesn’t involve it being used to hunt down condemned souls or living in your house.” Raphael reassures him.

                       “Thank you. I don’t why I’m so stuck with this one.” Sam sighs and takes a drink. “How’s Abigail?”

                       “Not much better.” Raphael debates having a drink himself. “She’ll speak but not much, a little to her mother, but mostly to Ben. She’ll do her chores and schoolwork, but she hasn’t spoken to her friends more than to say she’ll be alright and she’ll be back shortly. We had called her out as being sick for at least a week as we weren’t sure how long it would take to find her. So she just stays in her room doing schoolwork during the day. Ben has managed to get a few small smiles out of her but he seems to be troubled as well.”

                        “She won’t talk to you either?”

                        “I… don’t know.” Raphael confesses. “We haven’t spoken, but I haven’t tried to speak to her.  I just don’t know what to say.”

                         “Yeah.” Sam sighs. “How’s Alice doing, across the hall?”

                         “By all accounts, equally depressed. And Luci says the twins are as well. Or more accurately, Chris is depressed and Riley’s inability to to cheer her up has made her depressed. So depressed they’re remained girls for the entire past week.”

                         “How did we all fuck up this badly and all at the same time?” Sam covers his eyes. “I can’t believe she tried to start a coup in hell only to kill the participants. How… how the hell do you punish somebody for that? I’m a hunter, I kill demons. I can’t reasonably say ‘no, bad girl, no killing demons.’ ” Raphael actually chuckles at this. "Well, I’m glad you find it amusing at least.”  

                          “Is it about punishing her though? Or making sure she learns from her mistakes.” Raphael asks. 

                          “I don’t know how to do that either. She’s not my little girl anymore, Raphael. She’s… I don’t know what she is and none of this even involves love or sex or any of the nightmares I was expecting and prepared for.”

                          “I understand.” Raphael nods. “My Abigail doesn’t…. she doesn’t trust me anymore. She lied to me, decieved me and it wasn’t even about boys or girls, though I think she prefers boys.”

                          “Shelly seems to prefer puppies.” Sam shakes his head. “Not that I’m complaining mind you. I’m a bit less than thrilled about her particular choice of breed, but… do you think I over reacted about the puppy?”

                           “No. Not wanting to harbor a hellhound is not unreasonable. It is your house and your feelings matter as well. Her manipulative willful behavior makes it even less so. Has her mother had any luck?”

                           “No. Has Alex?”

                           “No.”

                           “Want to swap kids for a week or so? See if that shakes things up enough to do something? Babe’s even trying to talk to Michael about what to do. Her uncle has had surprisingly little luck with her. They even actually started arguing.”

                           “Man the two of you are way off base.” Dean walks in, all disheveled in his robe, and pours some coffee.

                            “Oh, the childless one has an opinion an parenting.” Raphael cooly remarks. “Please bestow your wisdom upon us.”

                             “I will, despite your disrespectful sarcasm. They don’t need mommy and daddy right now. They need each other.” He opens the fridge and takes out a microwave burrito. Rapahel’s not sure what’s worse, the urge to rip it from his hands and have him eat something healthier for breakfast or the fact that it is not a manipulative play to get him to make a decent breakfast. This man genuinely does not care what goes into his body so long as it’s edible and available. Raphael resists the urge to comment and just brings up a drink.

                             “Dude, your really eating for breakfast.” Sam comments, “Do you want to live to see sixty?”

                             “You mean seventy. I’m fifty nine.”

                             “No, I mean sixty.”

                             “And isn’t my breakfast burrito a bit off topic?” Dean shakes it at his brother. “And don’t give me that look. Don’t you remember being a kid?” The look Sam gives him at this makes him pause.

                             “I certainly hope you are not implying our parenting is comparable to your father’s.” Raphael gives him a cool look.

                             “God, no, but in general adults are not kids or teenagers.”

                             “Brilliant observation. We’re’s fortunate to have you to tell us these things.” Raphael interrupts.

                               “Okay. This is a little too much smart ass little brother bitchiness for me at this hour of the day, so I’m going to go back to my room. When you’re willing to listen to some sense, come find me.” Dean walks out of the kitchen with his coffee adn burrito.

                              “You are not like your father, Sam. You are an excellent father wtih a difficult child. But While Michele is by no means obedient, she is a good kind loving child at heart, much like you and much like her mother. “

                               “True. Honestly sometimes I wish she was more like Abigail. Not by  much, I love my daughter, but sometimes I wish she was a litlte calmer, a little more dependable, and studious and serious. Sometimes I think maybe that’s my fault. And honestly, I do have to say it,  seeing you with your daughter makes me understand why so many angels stayed at your side when heaven split. Both times.”

                                “Thank you.” Raphael feels both guilty and touched at the comment, though he knows and appreciates how it’s meant.

                                “I hate to say it but Michael and Luci are really good parents. The twins are… I was kind of surprised, honestly.”

                                 “We all were, but I suppose we shouldn’t have been.” Raphael sighs. “They’re fairly observant. And are very minor nuisances.”

                                  “Not to mention Chris’ crush on Abigail would probably make it so she wouldn’t risk anything happening to her. Of course, given Riley has her twin wrapped around her little finger…”

                                  “Chris has a crush on Abigail?” Raphael turns to look at Sam. Though he wasn’t aware Riley was the leader of the two, either, the crush is the most surprising.

                                  “Yes. Shelly thinks it’s cute. And Riley is usually the instigator in most things, but apparently that part is usually only notable if you spy on their private conversations, which Shelly does when she’s feeling suspicious.” Sam smiles.

                                   “Riley isn’t always Riley, you know.” Raphael informs him.

                                   “I assumed they played the twin game at times actually.” Sam admits. “They won’t be able to much longer, though, so we might as well indulge them while we can.”

                                    “Exactly my thoughts.” Raphael smiles and sits with his brother in law in silence for a moment. 

                                    “Your brother is never going to let this go, you know that, right?” Sam looks over to him. Raphael nods, then gets a rather devious smile that very closely resemble’s his little sister’s.  “You have an idea?”

                                     “Yes. My idea is to give Helel our problem children and go on an extended vacation with our wives. That way we can come back with fresh eeys and either have a solution or be able to rest assured in the irrefutable proof that he could not handle the situation better. Since we can’t think of anything right now, we should probably take a step back from it and regroup.” Raphael points out.

                                      “ True. If I tell you my wife actually suggested that on friday would you be offended?”  

                                      “No just slightly ashamed of myself and questioning my cognitive processes.”  Raphael grimaces. Sam just laughs at this.

                                      “No, you’re both right, though it sounds much more sensible coming from you.”

                                      “Probably due to the difference of my idea of a vacation versus my sister’s idea of a vacation.”

                                       “True.”

                                       “I don’t know why they just dismissed your advice. We had a teenage daughter long before they did.” They hear Castiel, offended on his boyfreinds behalf.

                                       “Dude, no, we had Claire. If she was ever Daddy’s little girl we weren’t the daddies.” Dean actually says something intelligent, much to Rapahel’s surprise.

                                     “Going out?” Sam asks seeing his brother fully dressed, though largely weapon free.

                                      “Yeah, some hunters need someone to go under cover, and I’m the only one with the appropriate skillset who was available so..” Dean sighs zipping up his jacket. 

                                      “Where?  At a retirement home?” Sam raises an eyebrow. Dean just glares at him. “Really?” He can’t help but grin.

                                      “Yes. I am taking my ‘father’ to Pine Grove for a trial visit.” Castiel makes the quotation marks.  Sam and Raphael both start laughing at this.

                                      “You know what, fuck all of you.” Dean flips them both off and storms off to the garage.

                                      “I wouldn’t describe Abigail as a problem child.” Castiel looks at them, reproachfully before going after his boyfriend. Sam does not miss that he doesn’t mention Shelly at all. Of course he really can’t deny the point his freind refrained from making.

                                     “Obviously I was being facetious.” Raphael frowns.

                                     “I know.” Sam gets up. "Alright. I’ll go talk to my wife. I’ll talk to you later, Raph.” He pats his brother in law’s shoulder as he heads back towards his room.

                                     “You as well.” Raphael returns home. Hopefully Alex is as amenable to the idea as Sam was.

 

                                      Something smells delicious which means Michael is not cooking. Oh, but there’s coffee, which even Mitcha can’t screw up so Luci  drags himself out of bed and heads out to the kitchen. He stops as he notices the open living room is alot more open and extends over to merge with Raphael’s apartment, where the children are just sitting silently in front of the tv while Ben and Abigail cook pancakes eggs and sausage on the griddle top attatchment Raphael got for his stove. It also doesn’t escape his notice that there are in fact six children instead of the expected four. Chris, Riley, Abigail, Shelly, and of course, Alice. And that one from another universe. Michael is at the tab le creating a schedule. Why is she creating a schedule? Nobody here needs a schedule.

                                 “Have a seat.”  Michael pats the chair beside him there’s coffee there and some raspberry strudel with frosting so Luci pretends it was a polite and deferentialy worded request and sits down. “We’re watching the children. I will be keeping an eye on Abigail and Alice at their school and Castiel will be watching Shelly, Ben and the twins at the hunters school, as will Dean when he returns from his hunting trip. We will need you for extra curricular activities. So if there’s even the possibility of rehersal running late, you’re to let us know immediately.”

                                “We’re what now?”

                                “Watching the children. Their parents need some time to calm down and think things over a bit before continuing to address the problem.”

                                “Those little brats! Now? And who the hell is that Ben kid, really, if that is his real name. He’s Dean’s isn’t he? He looks like Dean.”

                                “That is Ben Harahel Winchester, son of Samuel Winchester and Helel Ben Sahar in the Nightingale’s thread. No, I am not joking. Your counterpart was pregnant when we left. They were discussing names, he was going to be either Ben or Sahar.”

                                 “That’s our brother?” Riley perks up slightly. “We have a big brother?”

                                  “No.” Shelly snaps. “He’s NOBODIE’S brother!”

                                 “In terms of genetic compatability, yes, all three of you are his half siblings. Which only means you’re not legally allowed to reproduce.” Michael informs them. Shelly just makes an outright disgusted and repulsed face.

                                 “You do know that you and dad are brother and sister, right?” Riley turns to face them, Chris sitting silently next to her. “The very first brother and sister. So is that a do as I say not as I do situation or what?” Ben decides to just ignore this entire conversation and pretend it never happened.

                                 “We are not the first. Our father is the darkness’ younger brother. And we are not genetically brother and sister. We even passed the blood test.” Michael frowns. “I have asked you not to bring thta up in mixed company and i doubt Ben wants to think about the familial marriages in each thread anymore than Michele or Abigail wishes to think about the other Gabriel being married to the other Raphael.” Michael chides her. “Understood?”

                                 “Say what now?” Shelly looks over at them as Abigail turns around, while the twins give the obligatory ‘yes, ma’am.’

                                 “They didn’t  know, big mouth. Apparently you’re keeping so many secrets you can’t remember who wasn’t told what.”Luci gently taps his spouse’s leg with his foot.

                                 “We were not keeping it a secret from Abigail or Shelly, it must have simply never came up as our siblings aren’t too happy about it either.” Michael chides him. “I had hoped that was why you hadn’t brought it up either, out of consideration for their feelings on the subject.” And as it made their younger siblings stop teasing them about their relationship, but Michael doesn’t feel like mentioning that, etiher.

                                 “Well. I think they made a great couple.” Luci shrugs. “And would would it not come up that other me had a son with that…” Michael covers Luci’s mouth with his hand before she can insult Ben’s father.

                                 “We were purposely keeping that from you. Because it wasn’t neccessary and you’d either get cranky about it or be an asshole about it. Now be nice, drink your coffee, eat your food, and walk Alice and Abigail to school.”

                                 “You’re such an asshole. You didn’t even ask me about this.” Luci grumbles, when Michael removes his hand, but accepts the apologetic kiss from him anyways.

                                “Why would I ask you a question I already knew the answer to? And don’t even pretend you wouldn’t have said yes.”

                               “Of course I’dhave agreed to it, but I’d have made them all grovel a little bit first and admit our superior parenting skills.” Luci scowls at him.

                               “I know.” Michael pats his head.

                               “See, this is the real reason not to marry your sibling, girls. Take notes.” Luci points to the twins who just look at each other and wrinkle their noses.

                                “Ew.” They laugh. “Being an adult doesn’t mean you have to have .sex with everything you love, does it?”

                                “No.” Abigail informs them, handing them their plate with her usual curtness. “Eat .” The twins quiet down completely though, and just slowly eat their breakfast. “Would you like something, Uncle?”

                                 “Is it organic, Non GMO, and antibiotic free?” He asks.

                                 “About as much as the pastry is.” Is the dry reply.

                                  “I’m good, thanks.” Luci grins back. She’s such a litlte Raphael                 some times it’s adorable. Hopefully Alex will get at least one more eeyore footie picture out of her. 

                          “Shelly?” Abigail asks her cousin.

                          “No sausage, or syrup, just pancakes and eggs with no cheese.” Shelly says cooly not looking at Ben. Luci checks to see that yes, Ben has the syrup heating as well as mans the side of the griddle as the sausage and cheeseless eggs.

                          “Don’t be a brat.” Abigial gives her a full plate anyways with syrup on the pancakes and sausage just like shelly likes. The sausage just gets bounced off Ben’s head as he stands there, stiffining his shoulders before going to the bathroom to get the syrup out of his hair. “Shelly!”

                          “I told you I didn’t fucking want it.”

                          “Michele that was not appropriate.”

                          “Right. Sorry, Abs.” Shelly feeds the peices of pancake with syrup to her hellpup. Luci looks over to the twins. He’s not sure what bother him more, that they missed the opportunity to start a food fight or deliberately passed it up.

                          Luci just watches and Abigail turns away  and fixes a plate for Alice, then for Ben and herself. 

                          It’s pretty obvious just by watching this the first family breakfast that Shelly hates Ben, Ben adores Abigail who likes him about as much. Chris things Abigail hates them, and Riley is upset that Chris is upset and doesn’t want to make things worse. Alice is upset about being thrown out but is too familiar with biblical lore for Luci to be able to make her feel better by relating. Shelly thinks te whole world is against her, but might also think she deserves it, and Abigail… Abigail is as closed off and hard to read beyond her feelings for Ben as her father can be, which is not a good thing.

                        Obviously, his siblings ditched their kids for a few days to humble him with the depth of their teenage angst and not just to keep their heads on straight before tackling it again. The little brats. Honestly he jsut wants to toss them all into a pit with a donut a shoelace and a protractor to build a ladder to get out and come back periodically to toss them some churros. But Michael would probably object to that fairly strenuously.

                         Plus she already has extra curricular activities planned. Monopoly.No, no no, they want to avoid bloodshed. Twister, pictionary, family hikes, white water rafting, hell no on spartan anything. What the hell is she thinking? Karaoke? Sure why not? They love it and it’s kind of the family thing. The art museum? No. Dance Dance Revolution? Sure that can take the place of monopoly and did Michael forget Shelly and Abigail were grounded? Or were they just going to leave them home? Maybe she’s hoping Abigail will give in before then. If so, she’ll never a better bribe than a hiking trip.

                         “Alright.” Luci gets up. “Shelly, you’ll be taking your cousins and our guests to school Abigail and Alice, you’ll have to buy lunch or prepare your own until Raphael gets back. I don’t cook unless I have to.”

                          “Abba left us something.”

                          “If it’s the lasagna rolls in the fridge I ate them last night. I wasn’t expecting him to be gone today.” 

                           “It’s in the fridge.” Abigail reassures Alice who just nods.

                           “The food at the hunters school is not organic, non gmo or antibiotic free.” Shelly comments nastily to Ben as she passes to get the twins their backpacks.

                            “Yes, it is. Most of it is grown or raised there.” Luci looks back to her niece, who shrugs. A clumsy lie and not at all of her usual caliber. This is going to be difficult.


	22. Eldest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael bonds with Ben and reconciles with Shelly.

              “That’s enough!” Michael separates the two as Ben and Shelly’s sparring match turns into an outright down and dirty brawl. “Michele, you do not hit a man there during training.” He points to the corner where she limps off to and sits down. “And you, Ben, what are you doing?”

               “Writhing in pain.” The boy says through clenched teeth. Michael sighs and heals him. It’s absolutely unbelievable. Helel managed to give birth to Raphael.

                “First, if your opponent in training goes beyond the instructed exercise you defend until the instructor comes to break it up.”

                “I was defending myself!” He protests as Michael helps him to his feet.

                “Not very well.” Shelly comments, earning a sharp look from Michael.

                “You are in enough trouble, young lady, and you’re only making things worse. You’re sitting out the rest of the class. Ben, you’re coming with me.” For some reason Ben is more reluctantly to do so than to stay in the same room as Shelly. Michael just sighs and  puts a hand on his back, leading the boy out to the yard. While he understands the impulse to put the two nephilim against each other during training, the instructor had failed to notice the burning hatred between them.

                “I didn’t do anything to her.” Ben mutters half under his breath, arms crossed. Which Michael highly doubts is completely true. There probably were some fairly hurtful words exchanged first. Helel was always good at pressing buttons and Raphael was a sarcastic little shit sometimes, though it used to be he wasn’t such a little smart ass to Michael. Not that it’s not inappropriate in and of itself, but Michele is older and should know that words are not an excuse for violence.

                 “Michele is older and stronger, so the responsibility for the escalation to violence rests on her. But your verbal provocations in and of themselves are both hurtful and uncalled for, Ben.” 

                  “Yes, sir.” He says sullenly in that tone that in his younger brothers always meant anything but ‘yes, sir’. Granted Helel would usually just argue, but occaisionally he’d just drop a resentful ‘yes, sir’ instead. But he’ll address the attitude later.

                  “You’re more than sufficiently progressed in all your lessons so far, so aside from training, you’ll be allowed independant study. After we finish the lesson I was called away from, I’ll give you a formal assessment in regards to combat.” Michael informs him.

                  “Yes, sir.” This one is a bit better. Ben takes a breath and draws himself up.

                  “You are welcome to participate. I don’t think it’ll be beyond your skills, though it might be.” Michael can’t help but smile as they enter the gym to the politely waiting group of four and five year olds.

                   “Miqa!” The children start to jump up and then remember themselves and sit back down again.

                    “On your feet!” He claps as soon as everyone’s sitting still again. “We have a visitor today. This is Ben. Ben, this is the Butterfly Brigade.” The children all make the bird hand sign which they decided looked more like a butterfly.

                    “Hello, Butterfly Brigade.”

                     “Hi, Ben!” They all shout, not quite in unison with a few complete strangers shouting the loudest.

                     “Ben will be finishing the class with us today. Yes, Paul?”

                     “Mummy May I.” The boy bounces on his toes.

                     “Do you feel like being a human maypole Ben?” Michael smiles at him. He has to admit he’s curious, so Ben just nods.

                     “What do I have to do?”

                     “Just stand there.” Michael leads him to the center of a large circle on hands above your heads, hold this. He places a large torch in Ben’s hands with large rolls of streamers attached that Michael unfurls, almost clouding his vision. The children circle him and pick up the ends of the streamers, adjusting their positions until they’re evenly spaced.

                     When Michael starts clapping out the beat , everyone stands at attention. They all start singing an olde english tune and dancing around Ben, some a little out of step, several off tune, but it’s adorable and Ben can’t help but want to laugh as the ribbons are braided around his hands, arms, head, down to his waist, before the signal is given to go the other way. Unfortunately the reverse isn’t quite so smooth and the ribbons get a little tangles and Ben tries not to fall over. He doesn’t get untangled by the time the bell for lunch rings.

                      “Just stay here. We’ll get you out after lunch.” A little girl pats his tummy.

                      "Tish, Ben might like to eat lunch, too.” Michael informs her. “Go on. I have this.” He has to finish ushering them out when not a few feel concerned for lunch Ben at this revelation that he too is a person who eats. “We still have a little bit to work on.” Michael apologizes.

               “I can’t believe they did that much. How did you get them so organized?” Ben puts his arms down as Michael snaps the ribbons and torch away.

               “There are only thirty of them.” Michael brushes the remark off. “You can eat lunch first.”

               “I’m not hungry. I’m still full from breakfast honestly.” Ben confesses.

               “What weapons have you been trained on primarily?”

               “Blade.” Ben shrugs uncomfortably.

              “When you need a break, say so.” Michel hands him a blade. “This is not a test this is an assessment. I want you at your peak for each part and I also want to see if you’re aware of your limits, which is important to know.”

             “Yes, sir.”

 

            “Okay. What did you do to him?” Luci asks as Ben sleeps deeply on the couch, one arm hanging off and his mouth open.    

          “What do you mean, ‘what did I do to him’?” Michael gives an offended rep\ly.

           “It’s four in the afternoon. He shouldn’t be this tired.”

           “I was assessing his skills this afternoon. That’s all. He’s fairly decent in most things, but Abigail could take him in more than a few. Which shouldn’t be, because he’s a little stronger, quicker and just as intelligent.”

            “Well, she’d probably win in all of them, if only because of his crush making him hold back. She wouldn’t do it on purpose, like I do with you, but it’s still a factor.”

            “Excuse me? Since when do you win against me?” Michael puts his hands on his hips.

            “Physically? Almost never, but when I do it’s because you didn’t take the harsher option of those available to you. Why do you think I tried to appeal to you to join me and be with me and not fight me near the end of the apocalypse? I knew you’d never actually do that, but it might have weakened your resolve enough to give me a fighting chance.” Luci points out, much to Michael’s dismay.

             “You didn’t mean it, then.”

             “Of course I meant it. I’d have always rather lived with my Mitcha than live by killing her. I just knew it was pointless to appeal for that reason. Ilove you Michael, and I always did, even when I hated you, but I did not want to die. I was fighting for my life after all. You were fighting for their lives. Yes it was a valid cause and you were in the right, so don’t get huffy, but I’m just saying. Feelings affect skill and behavior. Nobody’s immune to that, not even a badass like you.” He gives his not entirely happy sibling a kiss. 

                “Where is everybody?” They look up as Abigail enters the temporarily conjoined apartments with Alice.

               “The twins are in their room. Shelly is sulking in your parents room and Ben fell asleep waiting for you to get home.” Luci informs her. “Get your homework done before dinner.”

               “Yes, Uncle.” Abigail stops to put an afghan down over Ben and turns off the lamp next to him. 

               “Don’t worry about cooking. I’m ordering pizza.” Luci informs them as Alice goes into the twins room.

              “Is that your idea of extra curricular activities? Pizza and homework?” Michael asks.

              “No. It’s friday, so we’re also marathoning their favorite movies with ice cream sundaes and snacks.

             “That’s not very healthy.” Michael frowns.

             “Not physically no, but it’ll make them feel better and get them out of their own heads with a social situation completely pressure free when it comes to interacting or actively socializing.” 

            “We want them socializing, Helel.” Michael reminds him sounding very frustrating, like the adorable little meat head she so often is.

             “No, we want them happy, and to encourage interaction, not toforce it. We’re starting slow, Trust me on this Mitcha, I know human nature way better than you do.”

             “That’s the truth.” Michael sighs and takes a honey stick fromthe mug on the table. “Why did you cross out the spartan training weekend?”

             “Because they will hate you for making them do that, and while they will bond over that hatred, there are better ways to acheive that.” 

             “You simply don’t want to participate.”

            “You’re right. But we’re not running them ragged to make them forget what’s bothering them. They need to deal with it and face it. Maybe a weekend camping in Texas or something, but… shit…”

           “What?”

           “It’s Bia and Tano’s weekend tomorrow.” Luci covers his eyes. “Not that I can’t work with that I just don’t want to. I hate dealing wtih pagans I can’t kill.”

            “Agreed.” Michael lifts Luci’s feet up into his lap. “How was rehersal?” The massage implies that he knows damn well how it went.

           “Excrutiating. I’m not going back. I don’t care if it’s the only orchestra with mother’s hours for rehersal. I’ll find a place in a different time zone, that’s all.”

           “If you want to find some place to play that you can explain getting to from your home, I’ll see about changing my hours around at the school.” Michael offers.

           “Or we could just have Alice watch them.” Luci points out. “She’s staying wtih us for free, room, board, clothes everything. Why not put her to work?”

           “She’s not an indentured servant and as soon as her mother has calmed down and reconsidered, she’ll be going home.”

           “Michael, no.” Luci sits up straigher as Michael stops rubbing his feet. “No, that…. if she takes her back, it’ll only be to send her away again somewhere much worse. That woman is the kind who’d send her kid to one of those gayaway camps and peavefully declare it to be dad’s will when she kills herself. Sam’s working on getting her emancipated, do not try to send her back there.”

            “It can’t be that bad.”

            “Again, trust me on this.”  

            “Well, I guess we have another daughter then.” Michael would of course reach this conclusion. “I’ll extend the apartment again.  Maybe I’ll make Raphael help me rearrage things since we’re watchign the children this weekend.”

            “Fine. You do that. I’ll tell Shelly.” Luci gets upand walks to the bedroom their neice is currently occupying. If taking the credit is what it takes to get him to agree without further argument, then so be it. After a moment of thinking over more activities, familiar arms wrap themselves around his neck as Shelly gives her Aunt Miqa a hug.

            “Thank you. So much.” She sounds like she’s almost cying, and probably close to breaking down again.

            “Why don’t you two go pick out movies from the bunker.” Luci suggests. “You know what Alice likes. Shelly.” Michael just raises an eyebrow at his younger brother who raises one right back. “I’m taking care of the food.”

             “Very well.” He gets to his feet. “Shall we take the portal?”

             “No. I can make it through the either that far.” She straightens up.

             “We’ll be back shortly.” Michael informs his spouse. “Does that mean you’re speaking to me again?” He asks as he slows himself to run beside his neice.

             “Yes.” She sighs, her wings falling slightly as she says it.

             “I’m not angry with you, Michele.” He tugs on the back of his shirt to stop her short.

             “Just disappointed.” She finished for him.

             “Yes. But I shouldn’t be. You’re only sixteen years old. Aside from the puppy, you didn’t act out of your own self interest at all. I’m not disappointed in who’s you become, who you are becoming.  I’m disappointed that you felt you had to lie to us and decieve us all. You don’t trust us and that hurts. You’ve proben yourself not ready to be Abigail’s guardian angel in the truest sense, but that’s just par for the course. Angels, even human beings take much longer to be ready for that kind of responsibility. You’re not less for not being up to the task yet. In truth I was considering it before this last once, as it was.”

            “Why?”

            “Because protection is not about controlling your charge. It is about defending them from threats they are not equppied to handle.”

            “I was!”

            “No, you were continuously forcing your own will upon her. I understand what it’s like to think that’s the best way to make sure someone you love goes the way they’re supposed to, but it doesn’t work. How is she supposed to grow if you don’t let her make her own decisions? If you consistantly ignore her feelings on a subject how is she going to trust and feel she can confide in you? If you overwhelm her with the force of your personality, how can she see her own light? You’re support, protection, guidance, a refuge, not something to be fled from. I have made so many mistakes, I don’t want you to repeat them, not when you don’t have to.” Michael says gently.

              “But I just... she just...”

              “I know  love her and want the best of everythign for her and for everyone but Ben to see how wonderful she is. But you can’t force her to bloom before she’s ready.” Michael puts a hand to her cheek.

              “It doesn’t matter. she hates me anyways.” Shelly just stands there, deflated.

              “No, she doesn’t. You know she doesn’t.”

              “She should. I ruin everything. I put her in danger and I got Alice kicked out of her house. She lost her family because of me. I just… I keep making everything worse and I don’t know why?” Shelly just starts to cry and let’s her Auntie Miqa wrap her in her large warm white wings. “She’s never been anything but wonderful to me and I’ve never been anything but trouble and I’m just so… I never wanted to hurt my Alice. I should have just left her alone. I knew her mother didn’t like me, but she’s my Alice. And I need my Alice and I’m just so selfish because I never wanted to let her go no matter what and now I’ve ruined her life and she’ll hate me and I shouldn’t even care about that when it’s her life that’s been destroyed becausae it’s selfish but I do.”

               “ Michelle,” Michael gently strokes her neices frazzled little golden wings.  “You did not ruin her life. Her mother did not throw her out becasue of you she threw her out because of reasons you had no control or influence over in any way. If you had not control or influence over in any way. If you feel you are responsible, however, what are you doing about it? How is avoiding her helping her and her situation any?”

               “By not fucking it up anymore?” Is the dry response. “Idon’t know what to do.”

               “Have you tried asking her? What she needs? How he feels? Have you talked to her?”

               “Who’s Alice of Abby?”

               “Either, both. I know you think you know best,and the hardest thing in the world in to just sit down and listen to someone who you think is just going in the completely wrong direction, but sometimes it’s what you need to do.” Michael gives a sigh. “Sometimes they don’t need you to fix things for them, they just need you to understand.”

              “But…” Shelly starts, then stops.

              “But?”

               “I don’t like seeing them so unhappy. I love them and if I can fix things or prevent bad things from happening why shouldn’t I? They’d do the same for me.”

               “Because most of the time you can’t, at best you can only put it off. And just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Like treating every possible infection with antibiotics or healing every injury or illness. Yes, you eliminate the current problem but at the expense of theri ability to deal with future problems.” 

               “But what if they can’t handle it or they’ll hurt worse if I don’t do something. How do you knwo when to help, when not to help, how to help, what not to do, or any of that stuff.”

                “You don’t, honeybee. That’s why you listen and ask and make yourself available and let them know you’re there, that they can trust you and go to you without fear. I know how hard it is trying to let go and let people you love learn for themselves or do for themselves when you can so easily do it for them, but it’s important.” Michael just holds his neice. “It’s hard being the oldest. Everyone expects so much more of you, including yourself.”

                  “That thing is not my brother.”

                  “I wasn’t talking about him. Though if you can’t get yourself together that will have to be adressed. I meant your cousins, Abigail and the twins. You are a wonderful loving cousin, but Abigail is growing up and she needs to be free to do so. You don’t treat a thirteen year old the way you treat a three year old.”

                   “I know. Though if baby blue eyes starts getting fresh I’m trapping him in a play pen.” Shelly grumbles and straightens up. Michael just files that particular minefeild away for another day.


	23. Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly and Abigail make up, the family has a movie night.

             Abigail looks at the papers on her desk. It’s not usually this hard to concentrate.

            “Hello?”She looks back as she hears Ben knocking at her door. “The pizza is here.” He says as she looks back at him.

            “I’ll get some in a minute, thank you. I have a lot of catching up to do.” She stares at the textbook and empty papers.

           “Alot?”

           “It feels like a lot. I was only gone a few days and I should have been able to catch up this last week, but I just keep falling further behind each day.” Abigail flips a few pages in the book. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

           “Sometimes it’s just hard to do all the work you have to do. And it’s even harder when you’re upset. Whenever I started to feel that way I just took a break and went to my Aunt’s sanctuary. Maybe you should try stepping back from it for a bit.” Ben suggests, leaning on her door frame.

           “Maybe, but I do need to get things done.” Her phone rings. It’s Tris again.She has no idea what to say so she just lets it ring. She can’t tell them the truth and she doesn’t know what lie to tell. So she’s just not saying anything.

           “Are you okay?” Ben comes in and kneels down next to her, which is a little irritating as he’s still that much taller than she is. She nods though he knows she’s lying. “C’mon. You can talk to me Abigail. I’m relatively sane, remember.” He tugs on her sleeve, making her smile a little.

            “I just don’t know what to do, that’s all. I’d ask abba for advice but he’s not talking to me..My uncle is probably angry with me for not going to him for help so I can’t ask him..”

             “You’re Uncle Michael doesn’t seem so bad.”  

             “No, Uncle Helel. I know he’s wearing a female body but he’s still a he.” She wipes her eyes. “I usually go to him for advice about things I can’t ask anyone else about. It was different this time. I was trying to… to protect him from himself I guess. I thought if I could do it myself and remove the temptation he wouldn’t backslide or anything. I love my uncle and I don’t want to loose him. And I don’t want to loose my friends, but it’s just...” Abigail stops short. Now after doing all of this and taking responsibility like an adult can she really say that she’s not an adult and doesn’t want to be, she’s just a little girl who wants her daddy. She especially can’t say that to Ben.

             “Would a hug help?”

             “Yes.” She hugs him, resting her head against his shoulder.

             “If you like, I’ll bring you some pizza and we can work on this stuff together.” Ben offers after a minute of just holding her.

            “That would be nice. I can’t work on it tomorrow because it’s my courtship weekend.” She makes a face.

            “You know, I could try to kill them for you if you want.” Ben offers kindly. “I don’t have treaties with any pagans and neither do my parents.”

           “It’s fine.” She straightens up. “It’s a small price to pay to keep the peace. And it’s better than accepting the marriage. Don’t worry my cousins will be present and continue torturing them, so I especially don’t want to let them off so easy.” She gets a wicked glint in her that Ben finds oddly appealing.

            “I see.”

          “Out, Squirt.” Shelly grabs Ben by the back of the neck and drags him to the door half shoving him out.

          “ Michele!” Aunt Miqa yells sternly from the other room. Shelly lets go of Ben just outside the door.

          “Please?” She smiles sweetly and straightens his collar for him as he gets to his feet and turns around. “Thank you, Ben.” she gushes just as sweetly and slams the door in his face, locking it, before he can reply.

          “Shelly! This is getting ridiculous. Leave Ben alone!” Abigail snaps at her.

          “I’m sorry.” Shelly says with what seems to be genuine contriteness but can’t possibly be.

          “Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Ben!” Abigail points to the door.

          “But I only care about your feelings.” Shelly protests. Abigail just crosses her arms and sets her jaw. “Fine.” Shelly goes back to the door. “Ben.” She opens the door. “My apologies for my behavior, but I need to speak with my cousin. Who’s not yours because you are not my brother.”

          “Technically I’m not genetically related to any of you. A fact I’m taking a great deal of comfort in right now.” Abigail snaps. “Not...not in a bad way.” She back tracks as she sees the hurt look on Ben’s face. “Not to you, Ben. I like you anyways, I…. Michele, what do you want!” She turns back to her cousin, thanking also that she doesn’t blush as easily or as obviously as Ben.

          “Buh bye.” Shelly waves at the confused boy and closes the door again. Of course, Abigail is still very angry and embarrassed besides.

          “What do you want?”

          “You mean besides your love and adoration.” Shelly beams. Abigail is not amused. “Your forgiveness.” Shelly sits on the bed.The seriousness of her tone is what surprises Abigail the most.

          “For?”

          “Being over protective not listening to you, or letting you make your own decisions, for not being a good guardian angel, or a very good cousin.” Shelly says quietly. “That little brat better not be listening.”

          “Will you just leave Ben the hell alone and concentrate? Look, unless this apology of yours is followed by an immediate change of behavior then my forgiveness won’t last very long.” Abigail keeps her arms crossed. “I do love you and even like you sometimes, Shelly, but I need… more in my life than my beautiful talented cousin. Understand?”

          “I guess.” Shelly crosses her arms.

          “I mean you love your mother, but you don’t want her hovering over you and your life all the time.” Abigail attempts to explain.

          “I am not as obnoxious as my mother, am I?” Shelly looks offended. “Oh, lolo, say it’s not true.”

            “Not exactly. The level is the same but the kind of obnoxiousness is fairly different.” Abigail reassured her. “You’re not as prone to pranks and practical jokes as your mother is.”

           “True.” Fortunately this seems to reassure Shelly. “I really am sorry. You know that right?” Shelly pouts.

           “Yes. I do know you only meant well.” Abigail sighs and hugs her cousin.

            “Yes, well, that doesn’t translate to actually doing well. Unfortunately and I’m not your guardian angel anymore, but if you ever need me for anything. Ever, you know I’m here,right? And don’t do anything that stupid or risky again. Do you understand?” Shelly takes Abigail’s face in her hands and looks her sternly in the eyes.

            “So long as you don’t do anything that stupid or risky again, I won’t have to.” She retorts, but Shelly’s not having it.

            “No, Abigail. You could have been hurt or killed, or lost where no one knew where you were or how to get to you and what if you ended up with that other earth and that other Claire Novak. What if it recognized her? They wouldn’t have chosen you, because they just don’t know how wonderful you are.” Shelly looks genuinely frightened, which makes Abigail feel a little guilty.

          “Shelly, It’s okay. I’m okay. Partly thanks to Ben. So stop being such a bitch to him. I mean it.”

           “Well, maybe, I might make more of an effort if I had someone else to focus my ire on. Say, the person or demon who thought it was a good idea to come to you my little baby cousin, and send her off on such an incredibly dangerous mission.” She wheedles. Not that Abigail believes her or is willing to trade the welfare of someone who helped them both to make Shelly stop doing what she shouldn’t be doing anyways, but telling her does warrant some consideration.

             “Alright.” Abigail says after a moment. “But for my sake you can’t tell anyone else.”

           “For your sake.” shelly agrees a bit too quickly but it’s probably the best Abigail’s going to get.

            “I believe there are certain deals in place that could cause trouble if they’re disrupted, one of which you put in place and where I made the other.”

            “Mine should have made it so yours wasn’t even possible.” Shelly whispers angrily, “Making mine worse than void. Or yours utterly void.”

            “It was more a payment than a deal. For my silence on the issue, not to you of course, but I haven’t actually said anything regardless. And I won’t name named or confirm them even if I’m grounded until I’m eighteen. After which I can absolutely tell.” Abigail gives a smile.

           “Is that…”

           “One of a certain valuable commodity a day as a bribe until I turn 18. So, unless you want to restart trouble with Asase Ya, you will leave well enough alone.”

           “When did you get so sneaky? “Shelly leans back, looking a little impressed, Abigail just keeps smiling. “Seriously though, what’s so great about that little frosted gumby ken doll bastard?” Shelly looks to the door.

            “He’s sane, for one.”

            “Pfft. Sanity’s overrated.” Shelly lies down, “C’mon, keep going.” She waves a hand in the air. “I assume there’s more.”

             “We have a lot in common, but his parents are much more strict and he doesn’t really have anyone else to talk to.”

             “Please, Dad is not that strict and Uncle Helel is not that strict either. And ew! Don’t talk about his parents, the whole thing is just wrong and disgusting and disturbing. And he is the embodiment of that disgusting disturbing abomination of a union. His very existence is blashpemy. Not to mention his existing is the reason I don’t.”

              “Michele, clearly you exist. If you didn’t exist, you wouldn’t be here throwing a jealous tantrum.” Abigail sighs.

               “Why shouldn’t I be jealous. You’re mine and you have been since you were born and I won’t give you up to some little…”

               “Enough, Shelly!” Abigail raises her voice, evoking a somewhat hurt and offended look from her cousin that pisses her off. “His birth is not his fault in any way. He had absolutely nothing to do with it. And I don’t exist over there either. Neither do the twins. Mom is.. ah… not there. And so instead of any of the four of us exiting, your half brother does. You think this is hard for you? He has a half sister and two half younger siblings that exist here instead of him, that he never knew anything about, and he has to deal with his parents not being his parents and seeing them hating each other. He’s alone and the last thing he needs is you taking your frustration about everything out on him. So stop being such a freaking bully!”

               “Did you just call me a bully?”

               “I really don’t know any other way to put it. This goes a little beyond bitchy. Anyways the twins birthday is coming up so what are you getting them?”

                “Given they snitched on you, I’m thinking that giving them their lives are appropriate.” Shelly shrugs.

               “ They did do the right thing. A little sooner than I hoped they would, but you know they did so don’t be bitchy to them either.”

                “Well then who can I be bitchy to. Miss Manners.” Shelly puts her hands on her waist.

                “Alice’s mother is a good place to start. I can’t believe she threw her out without socks or shoes or a jacket! And I can’t believe you didn’t call grandma when she did!”

               “I was more concerned with getting Alice somewhere safe and warm, thank you.”

               “You still could have called her.” But this just gets Abigail a rather dry look.

               “Okay, Abby.” So friggin condescending.

               “I have a lot of work to do, Michele.”

               “Want some help?” Shelly lies down on her side, propping her head up with her hand.

               “Not from you, no. So could you please go now?”

               “You still love me though, right?”

               “Yes, I love you, Shelly. And no I don’t hate you too. I’m a little pissed off at your behavior to Ben, but I still love you. Everyone loves you,” Abigail gives a tired sigh. “Well, maybe not Ben but he would if you’d stop being so mean.”

                “I could not care less what he think of me and I don’t think you should get so attached to someone who’s going to be leaving this thread of existence soon. Exactly what kind of relationship do you expect to have with someone who lives and belongs in a completely other universe.”

                 “First of all, nobody asked you, and secondly I like talking to him and I can continue talking to him all I like just like abba speaks to his other self. And since Ben and I will have so little time to spend together and only death can rid me of you, will you please leave so Ben and I can eat pizza and do homework?”

                 “And who exactly is going to chaperone you two?” Shelly gets to her feet. “You have all weekend to do this,a nd it’s movie night, so come on out of your room and watch some movies, eat some pizza, gorge on snacks and bond with your non-genetically related family before Chris starts to cry because you hate her so much you won’t even eat around her. “ Shelly messes her cousin’s hari much Abigail’s dismay.

                 “What are you talking about?” Abigail grabs her brush.

                 “Oh come on have you really not noticed poor little Chris all sad and depressed which is making Riley all sad and depressed. I mean they’ve stayed one gender the entire time since you returned. When does that happen?”

                  “They think I’m mad at them?”

                  “Hate, sweetie, not mad. So just come out and snuggle with Chris on the couch and everything will be fine, okay? You are of course free to sulk in your room, but then I’ll be forced to start my attempt at non bitchiness to Ben with baby Abby stories. And the photo album which I happened to find in your parents room.” Shelly winks and heads out the door, heading straight to Abigail’s parent’s room.

              “Why would you… No! Shelly! I’m coming.” Abigail brushes out her hair.

              “Ohhh, and look what else I found.” Shelly comes out just as Abigail does, holding a little brown doll with a suit and Raphael’s picture laminated onto the head as the face. “It’s Daddy! Hello, Abby-gale, did you miss your Daddy?” She holds it in front of her own face, lowering her voice enough to make her aunt and uncle grin a little.

             “I swear to all that is, Michele!” Abigail reaches up to try and grab the doll, but Shelly just holds it up out of her reach. Luci walks over and grabs the doll from her as Abgail starts to try to climb up her cousin’s body to get it.

            “Not so rough, you two. I worked hard on that.” He takes it down, and smooths out the clothing. “Put this away somewhere safe.” He hands it to Abigail who takes it to her room to put it away.

            “I thought she called her father Abba, not daddy.” Ben frowns, slightly confused.

            “That is because when she was born, I was stuck here by a certain overprotective controlling sibling of mine, Michael,” He looks pointedly at his spouse who just ignores him. “and had to take care of three year old Shelly and newborn baby Abigail and a severely postpartum depression stricken Alex. Thanks to a severely over-bearing and overprotective older sibling of mine.” Luci gives Michael a look. He is ignored. “I had no idea when they’d be back so i made Abigail a daddy doll so she’d recognize him when he got back. And I made Shelly one too because she was three and I minded making her one much less than enduring her pouting about it being unfair that only Abigail got one.”

              “Oh, please don’t.” Abigail begs as she comes back out.

              “ Too late I already started.” Luci apologizes. “Anyways she’d already started almost talking by the time her father came back and had gone from dadada to dadida to just plain daddy when asking for her doll. And somehow would not accept anything but that specific doll as the meaning of the word daddy. So we had to teach her to call her father Abba instead.”Luci smiles. “She was a fairly stubborn thing. She would call her father bi-da for big doll, as she did recognize the similarities but Raph wasn’t having it.”

               Riley and Shelly laugh while Chris and Ben try not to further embarrass Abigail who’s past covering her face with her hands.

              “Alice, pizza’s here. And we’re about to put the movies on.” Michael calls to her.

              “We need a bigger couch.”

              “Nah, just bring the bean bag over here. Back up the couch. And of course, the good chair.” Shelly heads over behind the couch. “You, double trouble, get the bean bag, Abby and I will move the couch. Ben, go away.” Shelly directs everyone.

              “I’m not dealing with this again, Helel,” Michael looks to Luci pointedly. “I’m not. And if you recall I failed miserably. With you and Raph.”

               “Mitcha, you weren’t our father, or our mother, so , not your fault, but yeah, don’t worry about it. He’ll be going home soon enough, and none of us will have to think about any of this ever again.” Luci kisses his spouse’s cheek. Michael just looks after him. “Oh, fine, not tonight though.”

               “Can you do something about Alice and Shelly?” Michael asks, pulling Luci into his lap.

               “Not tonight. Tonight is a fun night.” He puts his arms around Michael’s neck. “When the kids are fed and occupied and well supplied with snacks, I figured we could slip away, release a little tension, refine out battle plan for the week and work out how to get back at our siblings for this.”

                “We are not getting back at our siblings, I am in no mood for another prank war and watching the children for a few days is nothing to get revenge for.” Michael replies firmly.

                  “Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

                  “Uh-uh.” Abigail grags Chris as he goes to sit down on the bean bag. “Think again, Castor, Ben, will you sit with Riley on the couch? I’ll take Chris on the bean bag. Alice, if you could share the recliner with Shelly we might be able to have an incident free movie night.” Abigail calls to Alice who gives a weak smile and comes up to them as Shelly finished pushing the recliner over.

                   “Auntie Miqa, we need a bigger T.V.” Shelly requests and starts handing out buckets of popcorn and bags of candy and stadium hats with two sodas in them each.”

                    “I can’t have soda.” Ben says reluctantly.

                    “Well, you weren’t supposed to go into purgatory either I bed, or cross dimentions without your mother’s permission, so deal.” Shelly shoves it onto his head.” I have you some of Uncle’s organic stuff anyways. Which is organic non-gmo at least. Um, no, it’s okay.” She says as Alice moves over on the chair. “You can have it. I’ll be good.”

                     “Okay.” Alice looks down at her hands.

                     “Sit with her.” Luci catches Shelly’s arm as she comes to the table.

                     “She doesn’t…” Shelly starts.

                     “Sit. With. Her.” Luci prods her back over. Shelly doesn’t argue further and sits next to Alice.


	24. Momma Miqa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Luci should have a talk  
> Michael lays out the plans for the weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A freind of mine has actualy run two spartan races and Michael's little spartan training camp based off the sparta death race video he had me watch. Mostly because while watching it I thought to myself, my boys (5 and 7) would love doing this. and actually considered making a little mini spartan death race for them. Because anything to wear them out, right?

             “Alright,” Luci sighs, catching his breath, as he rests ontop of Michael’s chest.“So, Shelly and Abigail are talking again, but probably no closer to telling us more about the whole mess.”

            “Don’t tell me you’re done for the night already.” Michael teases, and kisse shis nose.

              “Call it half time. I’m just a little preoccupied with this. Who would be stupid enough to send a thirteen year old girl into purgatory to retrieve Shelly? I’m hoping it was Crowley, so they’ll let me humilate him some more before sending him back to they abyss for a few thousand years, but I can’t beleive his survival insticts would let him do something like that.”

               “She did do it, though, didn’t she?” Michael sounds so proud, like it was their daughter who accomplished something so impressive.

                “Yes, thanks to our hard work taking it over before she was even a possibility. And if you recall it ended up letting the leviathan into hell over in that other thread, which is why the product of that most unholy of unions is here with us now.” Luci vents.

                “Don’t take your jealousy out on the boy. He had nothing to do with his own creation and you know it.” Michael chides him.

                “Excuse me?” Luci sits up, straddling his waist. “You want to say that again?”

                “I’m not talking about your heart, I’m talking about your bruised ego. It’s all bent out of shape because in some thread under some circumstances your vessel would have loved and adored, and here he doesn’t, and won’t. Ever.”

                “Oh, who asked you.” Luci crosses his arms.

                “Your insatiable vanity aside,  Abigail did tell Shelly who was involved in her decision. They clearly knew I could hear them so they spoke in a very round about way that names no names but does imply it may have been a demon and that they bothmade deals with said demon regarding each other’s welfare which makes them both officially Winchesters.”

                 “No. No way,they both know better than that.” Luci shakes his head and sits up. “They would not risk their souls that way.”

                 “They would if they considered it a very minimal risk. You know Michelle has no fear of hell and would likely simply take it over. And that’s if the reapers honored the deal and didn’t just take her to purgatory anyways. There is a firm prior claim on that soul.” Michael points out, though he’s fairly sure he shouldn’t have to.

                  “Do you remember the bitch in charge? Azreal would absolutely honor that claim if she could end up sending Gabriel’s child and our favorite neice to hell instead of purgatory where she’s set up as queen.”

                   “Your favorite neice.” Michael says sternly, “I don’t have a favorite.” Luci refrains from calling bullshit, purely for the sake of resuming the game after half time. But Michael does and it’s not Michele, even if he doesn’t want to admit his obvious favoritism, but Shelly is Alex, Dean, and Raphael’s favorite, whic is what he was talking about. . “And all of us would go down and tear it apart again to get her back. We don’t have any treaties regarding hell.” Michael counters.

                   “Yes, but the point is not that we could get her back, but how long she would have to be there and how much she would have to endure before people with a little self intrest realized they were signing their death warrent. Being dead is not the same as being live, Mitcha.” Luci crosses his arms. Michael just gives him a look that says ‘no shit, sherlock’ and continues.

                     “And we both know that Abigail is aware that none of us would ever leave her soul in hell either.”

                      “Again, It’s not about whether we can get her out it’s what the time there would do to her. And remember, Shelly is more likely to try and strong arm threaten or bribe a demon than pay it anything, or she might even try to trick it.”

                     “Which would be just as bad an idea as making a deal with possibly similar consequences.”

                     “True, she does have your diplomatic prowess after all.” He tweaks Michael’s nose.

                      “And second thing?” Michael ignores the comment.

                      “Abigail would never do anything that would put anyone else the least at risk. That’s why she did what she did, the way she did it. And since she does know we would invade hell to save her soul or the relatives not locked out of hell would, and potentially get hurt or killed or otherwise compromised she would never do that. Oh,she’s slick enough to think of things like that, don’t get me wrong, but she’s too loving and protective to actually do it.” He finishes his thoughts and sits back, considering more on Michael’s words. Maybe, on that note, Michael might have a point.

                      Neither girls would trade their souls, of that much she’s sure.  Neither would be stupid enough to trade anything a demon would consider valuable enough to take in place of a soul. Unless they both considered themselves smarter and trickier than a demon, which they aren’t, though they might think so since they’re thirteen and sixteen. But Abigail wouldn’t steal anything. Shelly might. Of course, she’d probably also have plans to steal it back, too.

                       “When Gabriel and Raphael return, they will look into it. They do know thier children better than we do in some aspects and those aspects may make all the difference. I will tell them what I know, but it will be up to them to decide what to do and where to take it from there, understand?” Michael takes hold of Luci’s chin.

              “Not really, no. I mean what good is having the devil in your corner if you’re not going to use him in dealing with demons. Do you still not trust me? After everything?”

              “It doesn’t have anything to do with not trusting you, Helel. It doesn’t. I know that you would do anything and everything in your power to make sure the girls are are safe and sound and protected, the problem is that it may involve you committing morally questionable acts in order to do that.” Though Michael can see that this explanation only irritates Luci.

              “And because I’m the devil, it’s somehow worse for me to do it than for any of you, who definitely aren’t in the habit of treading the straight and narrow when it comes to family.”Luci challenges.

               “Yes.” Michael’s gentle response is not unexpected but still surprisingly hurtful. “But not because you are teh devil, but because you were the devil. That’s not who you are now. And it’s the same reason you don’t offer alcoholics an afternoon cocktail at a party. You have to work harder, be held to higher standards, and you know that, and you can lie to yourself all you want, but the plain truth of the matter is that all of this happened because Shelly, who loves you more than life itself was trying to protect you from yourself. To sheild you from temptation because she know how hard this is for you.”

               “This is not… It’s not their job to take care of me. They’re children. Why are they even… I’m going for a walk.” Luci gets up to get some clothes.

               “Helel…” Michael catchs his arm. “It’s okay.”

               “No, it’s not okay.” Luci pulls his arm away. “I am not some… child! I don’t need to be policed and protected like I’m some…”

              “I know you’re not a child.” Michael says calmly in that tone you use speaking to upset children.

              “Like hell you do!”

               “I do and I should think I’ve proved that.” Michael gets up and follows Luci to the closet.

               “And how have you proved that? By being a patronizing, know it all…” Luci’s more irritated than appreciative when Michael grabs his wrist, pins him to the wall and kisses him. “I hate to break it to you but this does not neccesarily mean you don’t view me as a child.”

               “I was being romantic.” Michael grins, not even buying his own bullshit and this is definitely not the time for humor.

               “Kissing me to shut me up is not romantic,” Luci replies cooly, plus Mitcha being a bad boy has lost some of it’s orginal charm, but if he says that, Michael might take it to heart and stop doing it.

               “No, but recreating our first kiss is.” the fact that it’s Michael making a joke like that actually makes it funnier than it would be otherwise.

              “That wasn’t a very good recreation.”

              “If it was any better it absolutely wouldn’t be romantic.” Michael kisses him again. “Stay here. It’s cold outside, and you hate that.”

               “Still trying to seduce me to the path of righteousness.” Luci can’t help but smile back. “You’re getting better at it.”

               “I told you, you’d like it if you stopped fighting it.” Michael winks. Luci just cracks up.

              When Luci is finally worn out and sleeping, Michael goes out to check on the children, they’re all asleep,and the tv is repeating the menu screen for Brave. He covers them with blankets but decides against putting them to bed. There is no bloodshed , no thrown food, the room is fairly undisturbed, so everything went alright, at least. At least they won’t have to make their beds tomorrow. He doesn’t want to interrupt their sleep either because, despite what Luci thinks, they’ll really get a lot out of a spartan training regimine. By the time he’s done setting everything up on the mountainside, Ben and Abigail are making breakfast again.

            “I hope everyone is well rested.” He announces. Luci’s still in bed so no one glares at him. Though Alice looks fairly apprehensive at the greeting.

             “Yes, mom!” The twins reply with slightly more energy than this last week which is good.

             “Good, now make sure to have hearty breakfast because we’re going out this weekend. I’ve set up a small training camp in virginia.”

             “A what?” Alice frowns.

             “Oh this will be so much fun!” Riley nudges her.

             “Can you breif us during breakfast?” Chris starts to set the table.

             “Absolutely.”

             “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” Shelly reassures Alice who doesn’t find that slightly reassuring.

              “Wear something you don’t mind getting dirty in. I mean we can clean anything but not everything is comfortable when you’re wet and covered in mud.” Riley just makes it worse.

              “This is simply training, Alice, I won’t push you too far beyond your strength.| Again Alice does not find this very reassuring.

              “It really isn’t that bad.” Abigail puts the french toast on the table next to the scrambled eggs.

              “Okay.”

              “Mom is the best at training for anything. If there’s anything you have to do mom can get you there in days!”

              “Weeks, honey.” Michael pats Riley’s head.

              “Weeks are made of days.” She protests.

              “As are months and centuries.” Abigail comments. “Don’t fill up on french toast. You’ll need your protein.” She reminds them as Ben puts the sausage and bacon out. “Is Uncle coming?”

               “Possibly. Bia and Tano absolutely are. I let them know where to meet us and have insisted they both participate to the end.”

               “Are you sure it’s a good idea to expose Alice to those perverts?” Shelly scowls.

               “I doubt they’ll distinguish themselves in their courtship of Abigail by flirting with another young woman.” Michael reminds her.

               “Is that everything?” Ben asks, looking at the table.

               “I think so. Oh, wait.” Abigail goes to the freezer. “Some maple flavored honey sticks.” She hands them to her aunt.

               “Thank you.” Michael grins and sits down, putting his feet up on Luci’s chair, while he sucks on one.

                “None for us?” the twins pout.

                “You have maple syrup and honey. You don’t need it.” She sits down again. Since Shelly and Chris take the seats next to Abigail, Ben sits across from her instead.

                “Alright, lay it on us, momma!” Riley raises a fist as Chris starts grabbing food.

                “So.. none of you pray?” Alice can’t help but comment at the table full of angelic beings and their children.

                “It’s kind of weird praying to your own grandfather, anyways I talk to Lolo all the time. But I guess we can.” Shelly shrugs, “Alright, fold your heads, bow your hands.” The devil and her children snicker at this but bow their heads and clasp their hands together anyways. “To Lolo, with love, thanks for everything, Julie Newmar. Ow!” She laughs when Abigail punches her arm. “Auntie, she hit me!”

                “Show your freind a little consideration, Michele. Starting each day with gratitude is a very healthy productive thing to do. And you know my father does deserve appreciation for the good he’s done, every bit as much as any of you do. Which he largely doesn’t get.”

                “Alright, we have no clue how to talk to grandpa formerly, so you can lead, Alice.” Shelly offers.

                “I… I don’t…” Alice looks down at the plate, “Mom usually…” But the thought of her mother and the punitive shaming prayers she usually gives just cuts her voice off and makes her deeply regret bringing it up.

                “I’ll lead.” Michael puts his hand on her shoulder as he sees the tears in her eyes. “Father, we thank you for this day and all it brings and for the people we share it with, may we learn and grow so that we bring glory to your name and pride to your heart.”

                “Amen,” they all say.

                “Does anyone have anything else to add?” He looks around the table.

                “Oh!” The twins raise their hands.

                “Against my better judgement,” Michael nods. The twins take a solemn moment.

               “GoodFoodGoodMeatGoodGodLetsEat!”

               “Amen!” Shelly reaches for her food. Michael and Abigail just sigh and cover their eyes. He wouldn’t have allowed it but he figured his new daughter could benefit from the more relaxed experience.

                “You should have said something sooner.” Riley comments giving Alice a couple peices of everything. “If it was important to you.” Alice isn’t sure how to respond to this. She hated mealtime prayers, but not doing it made her feel guilty. Not that she really wants to let Shelly know how bad it had gotten.

                 “I… I just assumed you two didn’t out of respect for your father…” Alice looks down at her place. “I shouldn’t have commented.”

                 “ Why would their father mind?” Ben frowns

                 “Because he’s the devil?” Alice looks over at him. Ben is just silent.

                 “Natural assumption, but dad and I made up. A few times over. It’s not really an issue anymore.” Luci eats a peices of sausage.

                 “And Shelly is an irreverant little brat regardless. I was really just surprised Abigail didn’t.”

                  “I only talk to Grandpa when I have something to say, which I don’t and probably never will again.” Abigail says cooly, much to her aunt and uncle’s alarm. “So, Aunt Michael, what do you have planned for us?”

                  “Use pictures!” Chris says, mouthful of eggs, about as eager to rescue Abigail from further questions as for details of the trip.

                  “Very well.” Michael snaps pictures on the wall of a mountain side. First is the chain of command. Children.” He taps both the twins on their heads. “As the youngest you are responsible for each other. Help each other when you can. Ben, Abigail, the two of youare to help each other likewise and keep an eye on the twins, make sure they don’t fall too far behind. Michele keep an eye on Ben and Abigail and if the twins are too much, help them with that as well. Alice, you will be my adjutant. It’s your job to alert the appropriate party if another needs help and to make sure all parties are present and accounted for. You’ll scout ahead, unladen, and make certain there are no unexpected obstacles. I won’t burden you too much until I’ve properly assessed your current capabilities. If course if you’d rather not participate at all you’re free to stay home with Luci.”

                “No, that’s okay.” Alice shakes her head. “I’ll go.”

                “I’ll be accompanying Bia and Tano. Their tasks will be especially challenging and I don’t want their failures to end up injuring one of you. We’ll go up the first half, camp overnight, and return down the second half after which we willcome home and go relax in the pool, hot tub and sauna with the take out of your choice for dinner.”

                 “The first half will be carrying objects up hill log pail firewood. The way down will have tires, rolling and wading.”

                 “That doesn’t sound so bad.” Alice says, finally a little comforted.

                 “Oh you sweet summer child.” Luci walks out in Michael’s shirt and flame print boxers. “Coffee.”

                 “It’s in the microwave.” Michael replies. The look Luci gives him is deadly. “I’m kidding. I cold-brewed you an italian roast last night.” Michael goes to the fridge and takes out a caraff of dark coffe.

                 “French vanilla please.” Luci sits down and leans back against the wall. “Alright, so, I’ll go but only to make sure Abigail’s suitors are sufficiently tortured.”

                 “Don’t worry, dad. We got this!” The twins speak up.

                 “I don’t understand why you two haven’t just killed them.” Ben speaks up, clearly as frustrated with the situation as the rest of them. “They’re pagan gods.”

                 “You’d have to ask my probation officer about that.” Luci takes the large now steaming mug from his spouse’s hands and takes a drink. “Thanks, honey.”  
                 “When will you be off probation anyway?” Chris asks me.

                 “Let’s just say your grandchildren’s grandchildren’s great grandchildren will probably be asking the same question. And probably get a similar reply.” Luci takes another sip. “Mmmm.”

                 “That sounds a little excessive.” Riley frowns.

                 “Kid, I caused a civil war and tried to destroy humanity. It’s more than reasonable.” He reaches out to tousle the child’s hair. Ben just stares at him for a minute before looking back to his plate. “One day, when you’re old enough, I’ll let you read the winchester gospels and you’ll understand a little better. Okay?”

                  “Okay?” Riley sighs. “I mean I’ve read the bible it can’t be freakier than that.”

                  “I’m not talking about mature content, kid.” He sighs. That thing really should have been made more family freindly. But nobody asked him, or probably should have. “Just… forget it, for now, okay? It’s too early for this.”

                   “It’s ten o’clock, dad.” Chris says indignantly.

                   “Have I finished my coffee?”

                   “No.”

                   “Then it’s too fricking early.”

                   “Your daddy is not a morning person.” Shelly informs Ben and steals the sausage from him plate.

                   “My mother is the morning star, of course she’s a morning person.” Ben gets to his feet and walks off to the guest room.

                   “I am really starting to hate that nick name.” Luci rubs his eyes. “Nope.” He holds up a hand as Michael turns to him. “Let me finish the damn coffee and yell at me for whatever later.”

                    “Excuse me.” Abigail gets up from the table and gone after him.

                    “I’m fine.” Ben says as she enters.

                    “I know. After all, people always flee the table when they’re fine.” She sits down next to him.

                    “I don’t want to talk about it.”

                    “Would a hug help?”

                    “Yes.” He says after a moment. “But you don’t…” He stops protesting as Abigail hugs him.

                     “It’s okay. I’m here.” Abigail rubs his back.

                     “Both feet on the floor, cassanova.” They hear as Ben turns to get a better hold. Ben looks up to see Shelly standing in the doorway, plate in hand. She puts the fork in her mouth and points to her eyes with two fingers then to him. He counters with a couple fingers of his own. “Oh, you little…”

                      “Michele!” Michael summons her back to the table.

                      “This door.” Shelly knocks on it. “Stays open. Or it gets removed.” She adds as she walks back out. Abigail just sigsh and rests her head on Ben’s shoulder, he does not object.

               


	25. The way to the top

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the family and Ayase's eldest boys complete the first half of the spartan race, sort of.

             “You guys okay?” Alice watches as they all reach the first checkpoint, logs held high over their heads. Shelly and Ben carry an entire tree between them and Abigail is holding the front end of a smaller forked log with the twins each holding up the prongs at the end.

             “Of course, this is nothing.” Shelly winks at her. Ben just keeps quiet. Shelly kept stopping short and twisting and making him lose balance or get smacked with branches.

             “You’re supposed to switch now.” Alice looks at the instructions. “Those in back go in front and vice versa.” 

              “Well,fuck.” Shelly puts the log down. “Alright, get up front, squirt.”

              “I’ll meet you at the next checkpoint.” Alice says and watches them go up. “Ladies.” She nods to Abigail and the twins. “Where are your shirts?” She can’t help but ask the bare chested twins.

               “We’re hot.” They explain.

               “Girls can’t go topless. It’s illegal.”

               “Fine we’re boys then.” They put the little log down.

               “You at least need sunscreen. Where are your packs?” Alice looks at them. 

               “In my pack. and we put it on them already.” Abigail says and goes to turn the log around. Her pack does look significantly fuller.

               “Hold on.” Alice looks at the instructions again. “There are instructions for that. Okay, um, Chris, Riley you have to take the log the rest of the way by yourselves. And I have to walk up with you to make sure you do. If you don’t, I have to tell your mother.” 

                “But I was supposed to help them.” Abigail protests.

                “Yes, but they weren’t supposed to take advantage of you. They were very much capable of carrying their own packs the entire way.” Michael appears. “Give them back their packs. Bia and Tano are already to the next checkpoint so I’ll walk them up.” He pats Abigail’s shoulder. Abigail takes their bags out and helps them put them back on. “We’ll see you at the next checkpoint.” He snaps Abigail onto one of  a pair of lawn chairs.

                  “Twins took advantage, huh?” Luci hands her some ice water with a cucumber infusion. “Alright. You can stop your whining, she’s here to show off for.” Luci tosses an ice cube at the bickering brothers with axes.

                  “I’m surprised they had the nerve to argue instead of doing whatever they’re supposed to be doing.” Abigail sips her drink.

                  “They didn’t until Michael left so they’re not completely stupid.” Luci comments, much to Bia and Tano’s annoyance.

                  “ Okay.” Abigail watches as they start chopping wood. Still pausing to argue every now and then. But on the whole it’s fairly rythmic and given how late she stayed up and how early she woke, she actually falls asleep a few minutes in. Granted she wakes up with the twins run yelling at the top of their lungs past Ben and Shelly to reach the checkpoint.

                   “Feel like carrying some firewood?” Michael kisses Luci’s forehead.Luci just peers above his sunglasses with an unamused look that says all that could possibly be said about that idea. “I’ll make you a pack.”

                    “What?”

                    “A pack. You agreed.”

                    “The hell I did!”

                    “Yes, you did.” Michael places a few pieces of firewood in the pack as Abigail and Ben feed the exhausted twins water and a snack. Shelly just lies down with her head in Alice’s lap complaining about having to work with Ben, and his presumed retaliatory behavior.

                     “Every fiber of my being said in very strong body language that you can take that pack and shove it. Which is a clear and undeniable no.”

                     “Yes, well, your body said no, but your silence said yes.” Michael places the heavy pack on Luci’s legs.

                      “That… that was twisted and uncalled for, which I appreciate, but no. And if you don’t get this thing off of me, I’m going home.”

                      “Here.” Michael hands Luci his wallet and a map. “It’s a five mile hike to the ranger station and seven more to the nearest bus stop.” Luci just looks at him, still not amused. “C’mon.” Michael smacks Luci’s thigh. “You need some proper exercise, a little strength training, some fun.” Fun? Luci doesn’t think so.

                      “It’s the sabbath, Michael.” He chides his spouse.

                      “The sabbath is for humans, darling.”

                      “I am human, you asshole. I’m not doing this.”

                      “Alright. We’ll see you after. I’ll pick you up on our way home.” Michael winks and snaps a small sun tent over his head.

                       “There’d better be food in this bag.”

                       “I gave you a few MRE’s” One of the aforementioned MRE’s get’s bounced off Michael’s head. Michael just laughs. “I’m kidding. We’ll get you when they’re at the top and ready for dinner. Though it might take Ayase’s boys a few hours to come down and carry you back up. I don’t know how much food will be left.”

                       “You need to leave the jokes to Raph and Gabriel, sis. You’re closer to inciting murder from me than laughter.” Luci kicks the pack off his legs. Michael refrains from comment. “Shut up, Michael. anyways I carried an entire orchestra every day this week. I’m not doing this pointless crap. On the weekends if there’s no concert, I relax. This is not relaxing.” Luci settles back in the chair again. “I’m already doing advanced yoga so we can do the things in that damn Indian book, but that’s it. Abigail, no, stay with me.” He reaches over to put a hand on his nieces stomach as she gets up to help Chris put firewood in his pack. “You’ve been cooking and studying and watching the twins all week, too. I know you’re tired. Stay, relax, I’ll tell you stories about our father as a fledgling.” Luci wheedles. His offer is fairly hard to resist.

                         “I am kind of tired.” Abigail admits, rubbing her eyes.

                         “Alright, new plan, then.” Luci claps her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Little half and halfs and pagan brats, you’ll be carrying me and Abigail up to the next checkpoint. Devilkin, you get to carry the snacks. Michael, if you want lumber moved, do it your own damn self.”

                          “We can take both of you. Our bride-to-be is hardly a burden.” Bia winks at Abigail and gives a stately bow that’s finished with him slipping on a slick of ice that no one saw before.

                           “Easy there, pedobear.” Shelly grins despite herself. “We’re taking Abby.”

                           “Can either of you pairs manage to do so without fighting?” Michael looks at each pair of siblings sternly.

                           “Oh, come on Michael, you know they can’t.” Luci shakes his head. “But if we split them up they might try to race each other and that’s worse. Alright. Children, my little darlings, you’ll take the snacks and watch each pair to see who behaves the worst. Shelly you join Tano carrying me and Bia, you and Loose Thread take Abigail.”

                            “Oh come on!” Shelly protests.

                           “You’re closer in heights. And I’m not making it older siblings versus younger siblings.”

                           “That miscreated abomination is not my brother.” Shelly points to Ben.

                           “You’re sure treating him like he is.” Luci replies dryly. “Nobody as sweet as you is that mean to anyone but family.”

                            “Please I would be the best big sister.” Shelly grumbles, crossing her arms.

              “Shelly girl, you are a jealous attention seeking prima donna just like me and grandpa. We had to make you Abigail’s junior guardian angel just to make you stop hating her.” Luci smiles. Michael shoots him a look at this.

              “What? No. I love my Abby-gale. She’s my cousin. I could never hate her.” Shelly looks offended at this.

               “Talk to me later, I’ll tell you a few things, but the first is this, you reacted to the newborn Abigail very similarly to the way I reacted to Raphael being made. Plus the behavior between you and the new guy over there are triggering ptsd flashbacks for poor Mitcha, and I really don’t need to deal with that crap, so suck it up. He’ll be gone soon.”

               “But…”

               “Nope.”

               “Unc..”

               “Nope, again.”

               “You’re being unfair!” Shelly finally gets a complete sentance in.

               “No. I’m being blunt, cranky, rude and a little tactless, but not unfair, not in the slightest.”

               “But he…”

               “I know. Little brother’s are like that to crappy older siblings.”

               “Will you just let me fi..”

               “Nope.”

               “WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A BITCH!” Shelly’s frustrated scream makes the twins take a step farther away from her, then another one. 

               “Because you are, my little Shelly Donut.” He replies sweetly. Shelly just storms off.

                “Honey, what the hell are you doing?” Michael asks quietly as Shelly just sulks, at the far corner of the campsite.

                “Making myself unavailable.” Luci replies.

                “By antagonizing her further?”

                “I’m not the person she should be talking to right now so I’m making her not want to talk to me.”

                “That won’t backfire horribly?” Michael frowns.

                “It might. But that’s what apologies are for. Anyways, I’m not the one she needs to talk to.” Luci sighs and puts his arm over his eyes. 

                “You mean she needs to talk to her father.” Michael can’t help but assume from Luci’s refusal to actually say who Shelly needs to talk to. “You could just tell her that instead of being all devious and manipulative.”

                 “I refuse to say nice things about that man. I will refrain from saying bad things for her sake but that’s it.”

                  “And Ben’s.”

                  “I can’t believe she names him after herself.” Luci grumbles.

                  “You named our daughter Denise Sahar, Helel ben Sahar.” Michael reminds her because he can’t just take Luci’s side for one friggin minute. Does Michael know not everything needs to be a freaking lesson or moment of correction? It’s not like Luci doesn’t know the hypocracy of his statement.

                   “Yeah, Denise Sahar, not Sahar Denise. I do have some class. And I would never curse my child with the name Helel no matter what gender. At least I can obviously agree on that much with the little miss perfect.”

                    “She wasn’t perfect.” Michael frowns, “She was judgemental, arrogant, condescending, a lot like you used to be. She never really grew up and her mask was much more firmly in place than yours at the time.  I don’t know if she’ll ever be able to really let it go.” Michael holds Luci closer. “Yes, you did terrible things, but now that you’ve been forced to look at things, face them, you’ve grown so much and will probably become wiser, kinder, more understanding than she ever could be.  I’ll take time, but look what you’re doing now. You’re a wonderful father, you’re a wonderful uncle and brother. The effort you’ve put forth with Alex and especially with Sam, is worth noting. And I do. Your time and tolerance of the orchestra, Your honesty, I see them, we see them and we’re doing everything we can to support you and keep you healed in the right direction. We love you and we’re here for you.” Michael kisses his cheek.

                    “I find this turn of conversation incredibly suspicious. Michael, and I hope you silenced our conversation from the kiddies, so far.” Luci tolerate the affection, but doesn’t reciprocate. “What aren’t you telling me?”

                    “What do you mean?” The final nail on the coffin. He just looks at michael until Michael gives in slightly. “It’s nothing I haven’t said already. And I just don’t think you need to hear it again, not now. Okay?” 

                    “Fine.” Luci lets it drop as Michael is not usually one for restraining himself even that much. He’s certainly not going to force out the ‘yes, you’re a monster, but…’ lectures. Not that those are the exact words, but they are the words Michael very carefully refrains from using. “Go put the twins to bed while I keep an eye on the amorous pagan idiots over there.”

                    “Ben’s sleeping with the twins tonight.” Michael informs him. “So he’ll be putting them to bed and Alice, Shelly, and Abigail will share a tent. The courting brothers will share a tent and that leaves us. I figured I’d just hold you in my arms and we’d watch the stars until you feel asleep. You won’t get cold next to me.”

                    “Alright, I was hoping you weren’t shoving the boys all together in one tent. He doesn’t need the aggravation.”

                    “No, of course not.” Michael actually sounds offended.

                    “Alright. I will still need something to snuggle under. Despite the warmth. It’s a tactile thing.” Luci reminds him, Michael just snaps up his favorite comforter. “Thanks.”

 

                     “Can’t sleep?” Alice asks as she leaves the tent to see Ben tending the fire.

                     “I only usually need around four and I’ve gotten six already. Honestly I’ve kind of been sleeping in alot lately. And eating alot, too” Ben scoots over so she can sit on the log as well.

                      “Maybe you’re pregnant.” She jokes. Ben just gives her a look that acknowledges the humorous intent and that it wasn’t that funny.

                      “No. Are you?” He returns. Alice just laughs. “No, really, I mean, is that why...?” He asks gently.

                      “No. I was thrown out because I most likely never will be.” She gives a wry smile and hugs her blanket around her.

                       “Are you… um, Abigail’s father could probably fix that for you.”

                       “I’m gay, Ben.”

                        “What you’re not even going to pretend to be happy when you say that?” Ben shakes his head.

                        “What? Oh, no, I’m gay as in homosexual, not as in happy.” She shakes her head. “Good lord. I’m ridiculously sheltered and even I know that phrase. Actually I kind of know a lot of things I probably shouldn’t. Well, mostly because of Shelly, but that’s neither here nor there.” Alice feels a bit embarrassed as she remembers Shelly bringing over her parents copy of the kamasutra to laugh at. She actually found it hilarious, especially the thought that her parents were ever in any of those positions. Which made Alice conclude for another time, that Shelly is completely and utterly insane.

“So how much did you get to leave the house? School and church for me. And church functions, but she did make a few exceptions when it came to helping Shelly with the twins so as to save them from her evil influence. I didn’t really tell her that their father was the devil. But anyways..”

                       “I was home schooled and never left the house without supervision. Except when I sneak off to tell to eat junk food and play video games.” Ben replies dully. Alice refrains from laughing, though it’s almost adorable how utterly unlike Shelly he is.

“It’s kind of sad. Shelly and Abigail have more freedom in their punishments than I do in my day to day life. Honestly. I’m kind of afraid to go back home.”

                        “Well, I kind of understand. I mean given who your mother is.” Alice sympathizes, though really she wants to grab him and shake him and tell him to suck it up, because he doesn’t even know what a parent can do to you, but who is she to say? His mother is the devil. There’s probably a lot he’s not telling.

                         “No, my mother is not this thing.” He gestures to where the adults set up a tent around the lawn chair. “She never fell. She was never bad or evil. Her only sin was loving my father. She is perfect and righteous and beautiful and smart like nobody else ever was and could be and… now I’ve failed her and betrayed her trust and just… I had to, though. I couldn’t… I never could have gotten everything done if I didn’t go take a break. I guess maybe I could have not eaten junk food or played video games and just rested or something.”

                         “Maybe, what do you think she’ll do to you?” Alice asks. Ben just shrugs. “Will you get… whipped or something?”

                         “What? No.” Ben’s horrified look makes Alice feel embarrassed.

                         “I just, I mean, she’s an angel in good standing, right? I thought, spare the rod and spoil the child and all that.”

                         “That… that’s not in the bible and not on order from my grandfather certainly. Even Aunt Bree was only supposed to be placed in a time out, of sorts. I guess they tried everything before having to resort to violence and only in defense of themselves and others, and violence only made things worse.”

                          “I thought, you know, in proverbs…”

                          “Which verse? 15:24, 22:15, 29:15, 23:12-26? These are more and the word translated to nod is shebet, and which means to guide, show wisdom, leadership, protection. Like not like a billy club, but like a shepherd’s crook, which you use to guide and pull back and stuff. You don’t beat the sleep with it. And the word theyuse for disciplining, muwcar, means to verbally instruct or reason with. It’s all mistranslated from guide, reason with, and instruct to punish, discipline, and punitive implication. There’s a difference between a lesson and a beating.”

                          “So, what are you afraid of?” Alice asks. “That she’ll reject you?”

                          “No,” Ben feels uncomfortable. “She would never turn me away or stop loving me no matter what. I suppose I don’t have any good reason to be afraid. She’s the perfect mother.” But he doesn’t sound relieved. “The perfect angel, the perfect everything.”

                          “And you’re not?”

                          “No.”

                          “Well, nobody really is, so you’ll be okay. If she’s perfect, just talk to her and she’ll understand and everything will be okay. If she’s not perfect, than maybe you can relax a little about not being perfect yourself. I mean, Shelly’s parents love her and maybe find her frustrating but she never feels like she’s not good enough. Or that she has to be perfect.” Alice says almost enviously. Ben refrains from comment. Who taught you that? About proverbs?” This question gets a smile from him.

                          “My guardian angel. He taught me everything, how to speak enochian, how to look deeper into context and she even showed me how books and languages change over time as they’re copied and translated. History is like a giant game of telephone. Especially translating old books. Some expressions don’t have an equivalent in another language. Harahel... Hara’s the best teaches. I still get to see him when mom and dad aren’t available. He makes me hot chocolate, only with pure organic natural grown ingredients. With honey, and cinnamon and goat’s milk it’s fantastic. He tried to make candy but that ended badly. I hope he’s not in too much trouble. I didn’t…”

                            “I’m sure he’s fine.”

                            “I should have thought about how this would affect him. What if he’s reassigned? Like Shelly was? But that wouldn’t be fair. He still has the library to run and he didn’t do anything wrong. I was the one who deceived him and… and took advantage of his trust…” Ben buries his face in his hands. 

                             “It’ll be okay.” Alice rubs his eyes. “You and Shelly have the same father right, or… sort of. If your dad’s anything like her dad than everything will be okay. Ben just silently nods and looks at the fire. He loves his dad, but he can’t… He’s just human,  how could he possibly understand?


	26. Going Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Abigail strike up a temporary truce,  
> The twins creativity runs amok in a rather serious manner.  
> Someone comes to see Ben. 
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for the delay: writer's block plus Xmas chaos.

             “I need to talk to you.” Shelly sits down next to Ben. Who ignores her and pokes the fire. “Now, while ordinarily, I would have no problem just torturing you all weekend, but it’s taking away from my torturing Bia and Tano. And they’ll be here long after you’re gone and thus are more of a threat.”

              “You think of me as a threat?” Ben raises his eyebrows, but can’t help feeling a little pleased at this. 

               “Shush,” Shelly covers his mouth, “I meant a threat to Abigail. And to your credit you never kidnapped her and forced her into a marriage that no one but those idiots recognize as legitimate because my mother had no authority to give her brother  away in marriage, even if she didn’t just trade her support and noninterference in regards to  Raphi’s courtship like she said.  And there was no reason for them to think the claim even if real, would pass down to the next generation.“ Ben just gives her a steady look totally unsurprised that some version of his Aunt Bree is responsible for this mess.  “Shut up, Ben. It’s complicated. And not even close to foreseeable in any way. 

              “They managed to force a courtship in exchange for declaring the marriage null and void. So she has to spend a day a week with one of these assholes. Until she turns 18. Obviously my cousins and I will do our best to make them bitterly regret their decision, but as I said, you are a distraction and lolo only knows how long you’ll be here.  But on their days here, I am willing to offer a truce. We’ll leave each other alone, and work together to destroy them. Mostly Bia because this was his game. But I trust you can keep Tano occupied at least so he doesn’t start falling in love with her, which of course he will because who the hell wouldn’t? It is possible he’s just taking the ‘nice guy’ approach, trying to win her trust, gain her sympathy wait until puberty hits and then swoop in with romance. And I am not having him grooming my baby cousin because that’s just sick and wrong. So, are you in?” Shelly waits for an answer before remembering she’s covering his mouth and lets go.

                “Yes, of course I’m in. I can’t believe this sort of thing was found acceptable in the first place.” Ben glares at the fire.

                “Yeah, my Abby should not have to clean up after their messes all the time. It’s not right. Anyways.” Shelly sends a little wind to help stoke the fire. ‘That was nice with their slick. Just don’t think Aunt Miqa didn’t notice. Because she did.”

                “Why do you call your Uncle Michael, Aunt Miqa?” Ben has to ask as it’s been bugging him. And since there’s a truce, she might actually answer.

                 “Miqa is what all the fledglings call her and she’s kind of everybody’s mother, you know, to all the angels, though not as much to the younger ones. But I guess when sexual reproduction started, they decided the females, the mothers were more like Michael than the boys I mean, she’s the strongest, most powerful, most dangerous, most protective. And you do not want to get between her and her babies. I think mom was the first one to call her that. Uncle Helel calls her Mitcha, Uncle Raph just calls her Michael, and Mom calls her Miqa as does every other angel, you know, back when they were babies. You don’t call your mother mommy when you’re an adult unless you’re being manipulative or really upset and regressing to a child like state.” Shelly shrugs. Ben just looks at her, wondering if she’s capable in speaking in groups of less than three sentences and if maybe her hatred isn’t preferable to this never ending podcast. “Are you familiar with the song that has no end?”

               “Please no.” Ben straightens up.

               “No, it’s not so bad when you’re the one singing it to torment others with it. Can you sing and pay attention to the path at the same time? I was thinking we’d do it in the last stretch.”

              “I… I suppose I can go along with that so long as it doesn’t bother Abigail.” Ben crosses his arms.

              “Pff. Please, she’s the one who taught it to them. Her father taught her. For some reason they had made extra sure that I didn’t learn it. I’m not so many years. I was deeply disappointed. “Shelly shakes her head.

              “Did… did Abigail really call that doll daddy?”

              “Yes. And she called her father big doll. Mom was laughing about it for months, Uncle Raph finally had enough and pinned her to the wall by the throat and made a threat that they still won’t explain to me.”

              “What was it?” Ben turns to face her. “I kind of know a lot of old enochian curses. I asked Hara.” He explains. “I was curious and she said that as long as I promise not to use them.”

               “Gullible thing, isn’t he?”

               “No, I made my promise and kept it.” Ben replies resentfully. “I keep my word and I am generally honest. I may omit things sometimes but I don’t tell falsehoods.”

               “So you’re not a liar, just deceitful. I can dig it. Abigail’s often the same way. She’s probably way sneakier and more devious than you, though.” She says it so proudly Ben doesn’t know who he should be offended for. “Hey, so you know Alice is too old for you, right?” This question is slightly less freindly, for all she attempts to say it casually.

               “What?”

              “You’re tall, but you’re way too young. She’s eighteen, well, seventeen. But you’re still just a squirt and wouldn’t have a chance with her so don’t even think about it.” She turns his head to their eyes meet. “She’s going through a lot of crap right now, and doesn’t need to fend off your clumsy, bald ass, hormone driven, amorous advances, m’kay?” Ben just looks at her for a second trying to comprehend where this is coming from. “And don’t give me that ‘I only have eyes for Abgail crap because you’re not old enough to have gained mastery over your wandering eyes.”

               “Wh… how much of our conversation did you actually hear?” Ben frowns at her, not even wanting to address her Abigail comment. “It can’t be much or you wouldn’t be saying this nonsense.”

              “None of it, actually. I just woke up, found my body pillow missing and came out to see you getting your hugs from everywhere like some little cuddle slut.” Shelly shakes a finger at him. Ben starts to laugh, even though he’s not sure if she’s joking or not.

              “No, she just… She was rubbing my back. I didn’t ask her to but I know it was well meant. Because we were discussing something personal, talking about our mothers I guess. I was getting kind of upset.”

              “Oh, well, way to make her feel bad, talking abut your awesome mother. uncle Helel’s so awe.. Oh for, no, Aunt Luci. Is it public enough for Aunt Luci? I don’t know. He does prefer Luci, but he lets me, Auntie Miqa and Uncle Raph call him Helel. He does prefer Uncle too, but Uncle Luci just sounds weird to me , I dunno. Anyways it was grandpa who got me calling him Helel so I mean, who am I to contradict God?”

               “You… talked to Grandpa?”

               “Yeah, I was his first archangelic grandchild. and he used me to reconcile my Uncle to Mom and Dad’s marriage,” She shrugs as if being spoken to by God is no big deal. Apparently, his grandfather prefers this grand child. Does he prefer her parent’s union to Ben’s too? He doesn’t want to think about it.

              “So.. he was jealous?” Ben asks somewhat oddly.

              “No, but you wouldn’t want your baby sister marrying your greatest enemy, would you? They hate each other. With good reason, though Uncle Helel was clearly in the wrong and he knows it. He was trying to destroy humanity.”

              “I don’t believe you.” Ben calmly get to his feet. “My mother is strong and loving and righteous. She would never do such a thing no matter what.” 

              “But he did though. If you don’t believe me, read the Winchester gospels Grandpa wrote those himself.” Shelly shrugs. “Anyways, follow my head and if I ask you to do something in enochian respond angrily as if I insulted your mother. I could end it with an insult to your mother if you think that would help, Mr. Honesty.” She offers. He’s not sure if she’s teasing or mocking him, but Ron holds his peace, even so. “Okay, so Abigail still knocked out so we should probably get breakfast this morning.”

               “Don’t the twins’ parents ever cook for them?”

               “Yeah, but you don’t want Michael to, he burns everything. Uncle Helel  had to learn how to cook when Abigail was born and the others were all trapped in your thread, but he’s never up early enough for breakfast. Uncle Raph usually cooks for them and he’s not here. Dad’s not here either or Uncle Dean. He’s on a hunt. Uncle Dean really likes to cook, so does mom. Dad’s way too into healthy food especially now that he’s getting older. Not quite to the degree as Uncle but yeah.”

               “Can you cook?” Ben looks at her doubtfully. She seems like someone who’d just order out or raid someone else’s fridge for leftovers or microwave dinners.

               “Of course. Everything’s better home made.” She says indignantly. “Can you?”

               “Not really. Neither of my parents really cook that well. Dad does a little but he seems to view it as an act of desperation and sticks to microwave dinners or his basement full of MRE’s and emergency supplies.  I can make scrambled eggs now and follow instructions, but no, so one of us has to know what we’re doing.”

                “Never admit you don’t know what you’re doing, Ben.” Shelly puts an arm around his shoulder. “Then the dumber people, who also don’t know what they’re doing, will think they should be in charge.”

                “So can you cook or can’t you?” Ben eyes her suspiciously. Shelly just grins at him and goes to get the cooler down from the tree.

                 “Good morning.” Michael greets them as they finish making breakfast. 

                 “Good morning, mommy!” The twins wave from their log. 

                 “Hey, Auntie Miqa!’ Shelly smiles at him. “The girls are sleeping in and we made breakfast. “What’s on the roster for today?”

                 “You and Ben will be flipping tires. The pagans will be flipping millstones made of lead and other materials. Abigail and the twins will be rolling an extra large tire. One of them must maintain contact with the tire at all times.”

                 “Rolling?” Shelly sounds as confused as Ben feels at the whole concept of flipping tires.

                  “A compromise with their mother.” He admits. “I will be heating the mud fields and have toned down the odors of the rolling exercise to rows of skunk cabbage. Another compromise. And I’ll move the campsite to the bottom where your Uncle will wait for you.” He starts to explain.

                  “Hey, sweet cheeks.” Luci leaves the sun tent, surprisingly awake for the sun not being completely over the horizon.  “There’s an emergency at the shelter, you have to send me back immediately. Stay with the kids, I’ll call one of our brother’s for help if I need it.” Michael nods and snaps him back to the shelter.

                  “And again,  for the wading part I will be heating the mud so you don’t freeze into little statues.” He tweaks his kids noses.

                  “Thanks mom.” They smile. “So.. the things, all we have to do is roll it and maintain contact, right?”

                  “And make sure it doesn’t run over or fall on anyone.”  Michael adds, sternly. 

                  “No rules other than that?”

                  “On, no rules.” Michael sighs. He’s tempted to just ignore the compromise since Luci’s not here, but Luci’s not here, but Luci did promise to let him have full sway once they turn 13 in regards to training their bodies.

                  “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Ben looks worried.

                  “No, I’m not. But that’s why you and Michelle are their to keep an eye on them while I monitor Abigial’s suitors. “Michael smiles at him and goes to wake the brothers.  

 

                   This was not a good idea. Ben just stares at the twins as one holds the tire firm and the other climbs up on top of it. He said something, but Michael just told himi to catch them if they fall, and call him if they get hurt to catch them if they fall and call him if they get hurt. And their other parent suggested they just do whatever they want? His mother would never allow anything like this. They’re going to kill themselves.

                   “Abby! Put the sticks in!” The call to Abigail who takes the large branch and puts it through the center of the large tire. Two ropes are tied to the end and Abigail takes hold of the tire in the twin on the ground’s place.

                    “Remember your knots.” Abigail says cautiously clearly wanting to just tell them to get down and do things like sensible people. The twin on the ground drags a 90 degree angle construct of six fairly straight sticks that he ties onto the round one in the middle. The one on the ground holds onto one bar and the one up top holds onto the other.

                    “Alright!| The one on the ground does something to their shoes and puts their toes up. “Ready, Chris?”

                    “I’m ready.” They both look down at Abigail.

                    “I don’t want to let go. I think you’re going to kill yourselves.” Abigail looks up at them worriedly.

                    “Oh, come on.” Riley groans while Chris looks mildly worried. “We’ll be fine. Shelly’s here, mom’s here. It’s fine.”

                    “I notice you didn’t argue that you won’t fall and kill yourselves.”

                    “Well, I mean, you’re not really a winchester if you haven’t died at least once, right Shelly?” Riley grins over at her eldest cousin, who gives her a thumbs up.

                    “Get down.” Abigail demands.

                    “She’s joking.” Chris sighs. “I’ll be fine, she’ll be fine.”

                    “Don’t forget to run backwards, Chris.” Riley shouts. Abigail takes a moment and a deep breath and let’s go.

                    “I know I’m hardly one to say, but sometimes I think their parents are entirely too permissive.” Shelly flips her tire over to Ben. “I’ll take the left you take the right. Try to keep up with them.” she pats his shoulder and goes back to the other side of the two. Much to Ben’s surprise it does fairly smoothly for a bit with Chris runnings backwards on the top and Riley just rolling on what look like wheels on her heels of her shoes.  Abigail’s not even trying to roll or move her tire, she just runs with the twins trying to make sure she’s close enough to catch one or stop the tire which is longer than she is. longer than she is.  Then the sticks breaks on one side.

                   Shelly grabs Chris as he starts to fall, the bar he was holding onto knocking the wind out of him. Riley just ends up falling down, half pulled, half tripping over his own feet as well as being dragged a few feet. The tire would of course veer over and start to fall down on Abigail’s side. Ben just barely makes it there in time to hold it up and keep it from crushing or piercing her with the broken stick. Unfortunately it does peirce Ben’s back by the left ribs. Fairly severely, as his breath becomes cold and the left side of his chest instantly stiff and numb and frozen. 

                  “Shit!” Shelly puts Chris down by his sibling and goes to remove the tire from on top of his back and shoulders, first slicing the stick through, so she doesn’t accidentally make it worse when she does so. “Um,” Shelly looks over his back as she places a hand on it. “You’re all frozen. I have no idea how to.. I’m trying to heal you, but it won’t let my grace past the ice. Does it hurt? Are you hurting?”

                 “I don’t know. Just around the edges.”

                 “Shit.” Shelly covers her mouth for a second. “Will thawing it out with fire hurt?”

                 “I don’t know!” Ben clenches his teeth. Shelly looks over to Alice who’s tending to the twins bruises and scrapes with a small first aid kit.

                 “Ben!” a strange Angel appears, kneeling down in front of him. “I’m here. I have you.” He puts one hand on Ben’s shoulder and the other one his back around the stick. “It’s not so bad, sweetie. Just a puncture. I’m going to slowly move it out and heal it as i do. You won’t feel any more pain than you can handle.” He soothes him. Ben nods and begins to relax. The man starts to hum a little tune that’s oddly soothing and slowly inches the stick out of his back. “There all better.” He kisses Ben’s forehead. Ben immediately throws his arms around the stranger’s neck and hugs him tightly.

                  “So, uh, training another vessel, Hara?” Shelly rubs the back of her neck. “Or is this your Harahel, Benji?”

                  “Are the twins alright?” Abigail asks her.

                  “Yeah, scrapes and bruises, Riley chipped a tooth. No, don’t heal them.” Shelly holds out a hand to Harahel who looks over to them. “They almost killed a man with their recklessness, they can keep their minor wounds.”

                  “Not while rolling or wading through a warm mud pit!” Abigail exclaims.

                  “Look, I’m taking them home. They’re clearly done for the day. They’re really upset that Ben got hurt. I took them back home. You want to go back to the apartment, Ben? I’ll come back and stay with Abigail.”

                  “I.. I just need something to eat!”

                  “Here. Carboload!” Shelly hands him a small two layer cake. “Ben brings up a fork and starts eating.

                  “Is that organic, antibiotic-free, non-gmo?” Harahel asks quickly.

                  “He’s our guest. He eats what we feed him.” Shelly says cooly. “Better, Ben?” She pats his head, he gives a reluctant nod. “For instant energy. Sugar and lots of it. I’ll go let Auntie miqa know what’s happened.” Shelly vanishes. 

                  “What are you doing here?” Ben asks his angel, indulging in another hug when he finishes the cake. “How did you get here?”

                  “Your father asked me to come and make sure you’re doing alright. I’m not much use in a fight, so I could be spared fairly easily.”

                  “Did… was mom okay with that?” Ben asks reluctantly.

                  “I was afraid to ask. “Harahel admits. “I did leave a note though. What’s going on here?”

                  “We’re getting tires down to the rolling field lined with skunk cabbage and then rolling down it to a mud pit we have to wade through. It’s… kind of a spartan training thing? A mini one.” Ben explains. “It’s… um..”

                  “I know what it is, it’s something your Uncle Michael would do,” Harahel says flatly. “And insists on doing every year since he became a human adult. Your mother forbade him to talk to you about it in case you decided to do something so reckless and full of potential for injury.”

                  “Why don’t you go home, too, Ben?“ Abigail suggests gently. “I’m the only one who has to be here. And you two can catch up.”

                   “I kind of promised to help Shelly handle your suitors, and I’m actually not  hating the temporary truce. I’m not really up to going back to normal, yet.”

                   “You are far too young to have suitors, young lady.” Harahel scolds Abigail.

                   “It’s complicated” Abigail replies cooly.

                   “They’re pagan gods and it’s the best they could do.” Ben grumbles.

                   “I don’t believe for a second that the archangels here are incapable of smiting any pagan god that gives them trouble. Or harrasses young human women in this manner.” Harahel puts his hands on his hips.

                   “That’s not the issue in question. This thread is slightly more complicated.” Michael finally arrives with Shelly in tow. “Are you alright, Ben?” Michael puts a hand on his shoulder.

                  “Yes, I can finish the course, “ Ben straightens up and gets back to his feet.

                  “I should have known.” Harahel looks angrily at michael. “And where were you when my little Ben got his lung pierced by some ridiculous flimsy contraption?” Harahel keeps unabashed eye contact with the archangel as if he couldn’t be easily obliterated by just a touch from the eldest of them. Michael just raises an eyebrow at this. It looks like Harahel, but that timid little thing would never speak to him this way. “Well? Are you the responsible adult here or aren’t you?”

                   “Damn, your Hara’s got brass ones.” Shelly laughs.

                   “Hush.” Harahel makes the hush sign to the surprised Nephilim with his hand, not even looking back. “I’m waiting, Michael.” He half wants to punt the little angel across the field, though he knows that the angel has a point and has every right to demand answers given the angel’s role as Ben’s guardian. 

                    “We will discuss this later.” Michael says calmly and turns to them. “Abigail, your uncle needs you at the shelter. Ben, Michele you’re both going home as well. The idiot brothers will be finishing the course and going home. Sunday is Tano’s day after all and he said he counts the day as starting at midnight and so leaving in an hour is more than sufficient. Harahel, you are welcome to join them.” Michael snaps them all back to the apartment. Not quite as satisfying, but it should remind the little fuzzball who he’s talking to.


	27. Special Delivery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightingale makes a drastic, desperate decision.

            “I’m fine.” Helel snaps as Bree tries to look at her leg. “Stop trying to touch me.” She knocks her little sister’s hand away when Bree tries to feel the temperature of the leg for proof there’s an injury. 

             “If you’re hurt you need to say something. Raph… can he really keep you from knowing if her body is hurt?” Bree turns to her husband. “Because that’s the only reason I can think of why you wouldn’t just heal him anyways if he’s hurt.”

             “Go back home, Bree.” Raphael says cooly. “You’re not needed here.”

             “The hell I’m not.” Bree snorts. “If I leave you two here alone you might kill each other. Better you feel like killing me instead; you both love me.” She gently rubs the store. “This is still my room. “The two of you standing guard is a stupid idea.”

             “We’re the only archangels available and your micromanaging control freak brother doesn’t trust me to do it by myself.” Raphael replies.

             “This isn’t about trust. I know you’d do anything you can to keep them out, but that doesn’t mean it’ll work. You’re a healer. You’re useless as a guard especially with Leviathan. We need you alive if there’s any point to you at all. You should both go home.” Helel returns. Bree finds that almost heartwarming, for Helel,when directed to Raphael,  but of course, Raphael does not see it the same way.

             “If I go home you won’t call me for help and if you get overwhelmed by them you still won’t call me for help. You could be at death’s door and my name still would not cross your lips, and the world would be overrun with leviathan because of your massive ego which is unfortunately not quite big enough to stop up this hole between realms, as unbelievable as that may be, making it even more useless than you think me to be.” Raphael retorts. Another oddly heartwarming thing to Bree’s ears, though Helel also lacks her appreciation of it. At least they’re actually talking to each other.

              “Nothing could possibly be more useless than I think you to be.” Of course, speaking means insults and being smart asses, and acknowledging each other’s existence means admitting how much they hate and piss each other off and it’s impossible to think that it won’t end up in extreme violence and probably not well thought out as to the time and place. 

               In a brief moment that sends shivers down Bree’s spine, she finds herself missing Michael, as the eldest of them could always at the very least make them shut up and stop fighting.  Besides which the Leviathan were terrified of Michael. She could  evaporate them into leviathan dust like she did daddy Levi, of course Mommy Levi just ate it up and popped out all the little baby levi that ended up making it that much more difficult to herd them into purgatory.  And Michael couldn’t do that now, because. well, other things exist. Of course maybe she could in Hell. Bree doesn’t exactly care about the souls here anyways, and auntie fucked up the whole infrastructure already. Besides l here to make repairs, and Helel is here to dampen the heat a little. Plus the two of them wouldn’t feel they had to stand here, hating each other until they both break from the strain, for the good of existence.

                There is no way on existence she’ll ever admit that out loud, though. To anyone. No matter what. Who’d believe it anyways?

                “Alright, fine.” Bree crosses her arms. “I don’t need to stay here for this. You’re both being assholes and whoever one of you does not survive this probably deserved it,  but I’m still never going to forgive the one who does.” She draws a sigil on the wall with some paste and pauses, “Can I use your phone? I want to see Claire but I don’t want to run into Mary. I don’t feel like being punched today.” Raphael goes to give her his phone but Helel gets his into Bree’s hands first. The cell phone is suspiciously cold. “Claire Bear, are you at the inn? Is Mary there? Fuck. Fine, well.. I’ll meet you out front in a few anyways. Thanks.” Bree hangs up and hands the phone back, before kissing the sigil and whispering her destination.

                 “What spell requires you to kiss a wall?” Helel frowns.

                 “None. She modified one because she thought it would be funny to make someone kiss a wall.” Raphael responds.

                 “Why are you letting her experiment with magic?” Helel demands. “She’s supposed to be on probation.”

                 “Yes. And she does so only under supervision. She’s always been experimenting with magic.  She thinks it’s funny when things explode or go right sometimes. I can’t let her learn any more chemistry. She’d be on an nsa watch list in seconds and we don’t need her terrorizing any human governments. However I’m sure we both agree that having her screw with covens is just fine.”

                  “You are an idiot, and you’re going to get her killed.” Helel snaps.

                  “Don’t pretend you know her better than I do. I’ve been with her from the beginning. I know who she is, what she’s capable of, and when she absolutely can’t be trusted. You don’t. And you know that and it drives you insane that I am better and more useful than you are in this one most important thing. We both know it. Dad even said so himself that I did better than you.” Raphael realizes, as his brother’s fist strikes his face, that last sentence, though true, was maybe going a step too far.

 

                   “We agreed that when the sign broke we’d rename it, Claire.” Denny looks up at the cracked sign in front of their old renovated motel.

                    “It’s not broken enough.” Claire says firmly. “Broken means unusable and needs to be replaced entirely regardless. That’s not it and you know it.”

                     “It’s just... so inappropriate.” Denny complains.

                     “I think it’s funny.” Claire says firmly as if the fact that it meets her dark and disturbing sense of humor means that it’s not also inappropriate. “And so do the hunters who pay extra for the theme rooms.”

                     “Claire…” Denny begs.

                     “Well, alright, but remember changing the name not only means redecorating which we can’t afford, but as I said before, when the name changes I stop baking.”

                     “Yes, I remember that threat.”

                     “And we have to change the whole advertising campaign.” Claire says calmly.

                     “Advertising?” Denny frowns. Claire smiles and hands her the cut out newspaper ad. “Come to ‘The Dark Side’… we have cookies.” Is plastered over a picture of Claire in victorian black lace with a red stained apron and a tray of so many delicious looking cookies, Denny’s mouth waters just looking at it. Of course the overdone black eyeliner and slightly off color smear of her blood red lipstick matches the gruesome hellish decor of the lobby. “Oh my god.” Denny covers her face.

                     “We have to make a living, Denny. There are a hundred rooms in this place.” Which Denny refuses to acknowledge was once a hotel/ bdsm facility. They bought it in a tax sale. There’s an extensive dungeon in the sub-basement, that they modified with help from the nightingale. “And if we made a profit we can expand. Have a few retiring or retired hunters run a few. You know.” She shrugs. “Oh, that reminds me, Bree’s on her way.”

                     “What? No! Mary’s here in the Time Machine honeymoon sweet with Mr. Hot Pants.”

                     “You mean, Mr. Sexy Pants. I have never seen him wear hot pants.” Claire corrects her.

                      “Oh, but wouldn’t you like to?” Denny sighs. “Oo, maybe I can get Bree to prank him by switching out all his clothes for them when he’s in the shower. I mean if she’s going to get hit she might as well deserve it.” 

                     “She very much deserves any and ever blow that Mary gives her, remember? Anyways, if she’s coming here, it must be important.” Claire stretches out her arms. “Ah, I’ll just have her help me bake the cookies maybe let her design a theme room.”

                     “Are there any other cheesy ridiculous bad old horror movies out there?” Denny wrinkles her nose.

                      “We’ll have to go foreign.” Claire admits.

                      “Claire Bear!” A tiny golden woman attaches herself to Claire’s back. “How’s my baby girl?”

                       “Yeah, that’s not suspicious.” Denny mutters heading back to the hotel. “I’ll go divert Ms. Mary’s ire by for you by shamelessly flirting with her husband.” She salutes them.

                       “That Denny always willing to take care for the team.” Bree snickers. “Unfortunately, I have to deliver something to your quite contrary resident. How long does it take for Miss Denise to start flirting and how long before she stops. Because if I’m going to get punched in the face. I’d like to be laughing my ass off when it happens.”

                       “She starts pretty quickly.” Claire grins. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather wait until she’s no longer pissed off to go talk to her?”

                       “The world would end first.” Bree snorts. “I have to deliver something though and I need written proof that yes it was delivered. Though they weren’t specific about my delivering it personally so… do a girl a favor?” Bree takes a small scroll out and bops the front of Claire’s face with it, just missing her nose.

                         “Sure.” Claire grins and reaches back to take hold of Bree’s legs carrying her piggy back to the hotel.

                         “Wait, no. I mean take the scroll. The scroll.”

                         “As if I didn’t notice the seal was broken.”

                         “What? What are you saying? How dare you … imply… Claire…”

                         “I will protect you.” Claire says calmly.

                         “I don’t want to be there for this. It’s bad enough I have to deliver it, I don’t want to be away too long. They’ll kill each other, I swear.” Bree protests, but she’s ignored. Claire would be stronger than her, too, so she can’t try to break free without hurting herself or Claire which would piss Raphael off. “Claire! Claire, do you really want to leave Raphael alone with a stressed out pissed off Helel on the edge? Do you? Do you really think that will go well?”

                         “They’ll be fine.” Claire remains calm which is both infuriating and adorable, because she’s just like a little Raphael sometimes. “So will you. I won’t let her hit you today, unless you really push it. So be nice.”   
                         “Oh, I don’t care. Let her hit me. It’s just not fun that’s all, but I get a few pitiless kisses from Raph out of it, so whatever.”

                         “Pitiless kisses?”

                         “Yeah, you know. ‘It’s your own fault, Bree.’ but he kisses and heals my injuries anyways.”

                         “I kind of hated those.” Claire says wistfully.

                         “You didn’t get the same kind of kisses.”

                         “Ew!”

                          “You know the pool should be up and running very shortly.” They hear Denny coo. “Maybe we could do a few lessons?”

                          “Mary taught me already.”

                          “I know, but you’re just so incredibly good at everything physical and I thought maybe you can give me a few tips? I’m kind of a dog paddler.” Denny lies her face off.

                           “I would be more than happy to teach you a lesson or two, Denise.” They hear Mary say cooly.

                          “Knock, knock.” Claire raps on the doorway. “I have a deliver to make and a partner to pick up.”

                           “Please. Take her.” Mary comments, Claire opens the door and see’s Denny sitting on the desk chair watching a shirtless Michael doing sit ups while Mary holds his ankle’s down for him. “What’s she doing here?”

                           “I’ve been sent to deliver a message.” Bree grumbles, hiding behind Claire. She doesn’t see the small amused twitch of a smile that appears breifly on Michael’s face at the announcement. “Mary.” Bree holds out the scroll. Mary walks over and takes it.

                          “It’s been opened.” Mary looks at her accusingly.

                          “Of course it’s been opened.” Bree replies indignantly. “I am the messenger. That usually implies my knowing the message. Now if you’ll just sign for it so I can go back to keeping my brothers from killing each other..” she holds out a small card.

                         “What brothers?” Michael gets to his feet going to grab his shirt, which Denny ‘accidentally’ knocks onto the floor.

                         “Whoops sorry.” She smiles and watches as he bends over to pick it up.

                         “The only two I fucking care about? What do you mean, which brothers?” Bree snorts, and looks away. “Doesn’t matter. They’re going to kill me anyways soon enough.” She grumbles into Claire’s ear. 

                         “Sit.” Mary points to the stool. “Claire.”

                         “What?”

                         “Just in case it is booby trapped. You’re staying too.” Mary nods to Bree as she examines it.

                          “Fine, whatever.”

                          “Alright, Jokey smurf.” Mary turns the seal away from her self to face Bree, Who’s immediately covered with a puff of blue chalk.

                          “It’s just chalk. If I have to deliver that message I might as well have some fun.” She grumbles and wipes her face off with the inside of her shirt.

                           “Oh for… Michael, I can never read your brother’s hand writing.” Mary sighs at the ornate enochian. Michael comes over to look over her shoulder and Bree snaps her fingers  activating the glitter bomb hidden inside the seal. Bree laughs her head off as Mary punches her in the left breast, pausing only for a few swear words.

                         “I’ll ask Castiel to help clean this up.” Claire sighs.  “So what’s the message?”

                         “Those morons want to give Michael his grace back to help with the levi problem which they wouldn’t fucking need if they would just grow up and behave civilly to each other. I mean, they’re supposed to be the good children.” Bree slumps against the wall. “Which is a bad idea. They could have given me back mine. I mean, I never tried to take over and destroy the earth and most of humanity like some celestial Hugo Drax.”

                   “Nobody asked or cares about your opinion. Now get out of our room!” Mary points to the door.  “All of you!” The girls oblige.

                   “It’s just temporarily.” Michael says looking at the paper.  “Just until the hole to purgatory is taken care of as well as the leviathan.”

                   “That’s something.” Mary says looking at the letter. “I really don’t trust her, though. How do we know this is real?”

                    “Can you imagine a reason why Gabriel would want me to have my grace back?” Michael makes a wry face.

                    “Can you imagine a reason why she’d actually deliver this message after knowing what it says?” Mary counters.

                    “Maybe if Helel and Raphael are actually on the cusp of killing each other…” Michael replies taking the paper, of course that’s not as implausable as he’d like to think it is. With them working together, could call them the both of them, alone… “I’ll … you should call them and make sure.”

                   “I think i will, but you need to speak to them, really talk to them, sometime. It’s been thirteen years of polite nothings and avoidance. The last time you even addressed any of it was when you apologized to Helel in the abyss, before she woke.” Mary sighs and puts a hand to his cheek.

                   “They still love you, you know. Maybe not that heartless bitch of sister of yours, Gabriel, but I know Helel does and as much as you’re done to hurt them. Raphael’s hurt you too. And maybe he’s just as ashamed as you are. Maybe they’re not speaking for the reasons you’re not. And as you’ve done wrong the most recently and you’re the oldests, it’s up to you to take the first step to proper reconciliation. Though if this is true, this might be Helel making an effort. Showing trust, forgiveness.”

                   “Be sending Gabriel?”

                   “Fine, I’m calling them first.” Mary takes out her cell phone and dials. There’s no response. “That’s odd. She always answers. Let me call Raphael.” Mary tries, but it’s the same. She texts but the messages won’t even send. “Okay, I think that at this point it’s safe to assume something’s wrong. Very, very wrong and we’re going to assume it’s bad enough for them to need you to have your grace back, and not bad enough to make the nightingale need that, so… let’s go out to the desert so you can do that without killing anyone or wrecking the hotel.” Mary kisses his cheek. “If they’re okay, smack Helel upside the head for worrying us so much.” She goes to the dresser and takes out a small warded box from the silver, copper and iron engraved bible. She opens it, to reveal a large glowing vial of Michael’s grace.

                   “I will return to you.” Michael places his hand over hers as she pauses for a second.

                   “I know.” Mary smiles and brushes her hair back. “I know.” She had him the vial and grabs her legs. “How far out should we go to be safe?”

                    “I’m not certain, but half the nitrous boost should do it?”

                    “Just half?” Mary frowns.

                    “Well, you will need to leave. I don’t want to risk hurting you.”

                    “Can’t I just close my eyes?” Mary heads downstairs to the garage.

                    “No.” Michael smiles. The grace of an archangel is not like the grace of our younger siblings. It’s like comparing a nuclear explosion to the sun.”

                     “Oh.”Mary takes a breath, trying not to think too hard on that or what it might mean for this message. True, he told her he loved her before he lost his grace, but still…. Even if it is only temporary, though it shouldn’t be. He shouldn’t grow old and die for something he did while poisoned by the darkness.  And she shouldn’t be so selfish as to want his love at the expense of his true self. Well, she can’t help wanting it, but that doesn’t mean she won’t help and support him in every way anyways.

                      Sometimes, though she really hates that Dean gave her Michael’s grace on their wedding day. Like she doesn’t have enough responsibility as it is.


	28. Oh Brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael doesn't like what he sees.  
> Helel and Mule have discussion about parenting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a reminder that I'm an incredibly insecure writer, so please give me feedback :(

            “What in the name of all that is, is going on here!” Michael demands as he arrives at the back door to purgatory to find the boundaries of hell a wreck and his younger siblings fighting, just grappling on the ground like fledglings not even using their wings, trying to beat the crap out of each other. 

             Helel and Raphael pause mid blow, Raphael trying to break the hand holding him down by the throat and Helel about to bash Raphael’s cheek bone barehanded based on the position of his drawn back fist.

              “HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MINDS?!” Michael continues forcing himself not to separate the two as he’s too angry not to over do it. “Helel Ben Sahar, you get your hands off your little brother this instant and both of you, separate corners.” Not that there are any corners intact for them to go to, but they quickly move a respectable distance away from each other, as if on pure unthinking instinct. While Michael does notice the brief questioning looks they give each other at his presence, he decides to ignore it for now.

               “Is this how you guard existence from leviathan? By squabbling like infants? Have you forgotten that they can in face injure you? Maybe even kill you? It took years for you to come back, Helel, and we needed your brother to do it. And Raphael, it’s a safe bet to say that it’s the same for you as well, do either of you want that? Do you? Years of absence and possibly years of leviathan destroying the earth and humanity. Is that what you want? Or is this… immature squabbling so much more important to you than that?” Helel just crosses her arms and looks away. While the look on Raphael’s face is beyond inappropriate. “You be quiet.” Michael snaps at him.

                “He didn’t say anything.” Helel retorts, though neither Michael or Raphael can believe he just said that.” And what exactly are you doing here? With your grace? You’re still on probation. Did something… did one get through?” He looks appropriately horrified at the thought, as does Raphael.

                 “No. Not yet. But apparently Gabriel who is especially vulnerable to leviathan right now, was so afraid one of you would kill or seriously injure the other she forged this. Because for the life of me I don’t know what other possible reason she’d have for this.” Michael tosses the scroll to Helel who upon unrolling it, gets covered with Rainbow glitter. “My apologies I thought that was a one time sigil.” Michael sighs. “Now regardless of this mix up not only am I keeping my grace until the Leviathan threat is taken care of, but I’m staying this way until the two of you learn to act like brothers. And by brothers I do not mena CAIN AND ABEL! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!” He raises his voice as Helel opens his mouth to make some smart ass reply. 

                  “Yes, sir.” They both reply automatically.

                  “Helel, if I ever…”

                  “He started it!” Helel interrupts pointing at his little brother. 

                  “I did not! You hit me first!”

                  “That’s a matter of opinion.”

                  “That’s a cold hard fact, you self deluded arrogant…”

                  “CHILDREN!” Michael’s voice shakes the foundations of Hell. “ENOUGH! I don’t care who started or how they started it; I am FINISHING IT! This has gone on long enough and it will not continue. You will either learn to get along or I will beat you so hard you can’t even look at each other without trembling in fear much less open your mouths to start shit.”

                   “You have absolutely no right to say any of this to us, Michael.” Helel steps forwards. “Not as our Sister, not as an angel. You lost that right thirteen years ago.”

                   “Ask me if I care.” Michael gives her a dark look. “I am bigger than you, I am stronger than you, and no matter what the consequences I will not relinquish my grace again until the two of you love respect and appreciate each other, I don’t care what I have to do.”

                   “I guess Miqa’s back to stay then.” Raphael comments, turning away. Helel sends him a withering look, at least until Michael clears his throat.

                    “Helel, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. Don’t you ever lay a hand on your little brother ever again. Do you understand me? Now go to your room and call Ariel to tend to your injuries, while I stay here and stand guard with Raphael. When you have calmed down and are ready to talk like a sensible angel, you can come back.”

                    “You can’t force us to love each other Michael. Anymore than I could talk you out of hating Gabriel. This Raphael ever being anything more to me than a burden and necessary evil is as likely as you and Gabriel loving, respecting,and appreciating each other.” Helel retorts. Michael just takes a breath and snaps Helel back to the room she shares with his husband. 

               Unfortunately it’s midnight so Mule’s there, asleep, though he bolts wide awake when Helel’s anger instantly turns the warm room into below freezing temperature and shorts out the electric blanket.

                “Mother fu…” Mule’s surprised curse is cut off by his chattering teeth. “W… what… h-honey? I..Is that-t y-you?” He shivers almost violently. 

                “Yes, I’m sorry, sweety, give me a second.” Helel tries to focus and calm down, at least enough to let the heat return to the room.

                “What happened?”

                “This happened.” Helel tosses the scroll onto the bed, silently seething and tries to wrap herself in warmth. She should never have let any of them hold onto… to that.. .that bossy… asshole’s grace. A burst of magic and a deep sigh remind Helel of the prank sigil inside a little too late. “I am so sorry. I…”

               “No, you’re distracted. I should have thought to ask when I saw you sparkling in the moonlight.”He wipes the glitter from his eyes. “What did she do now?”

               “Tricked your mother into giving Michael his grace back.” Helel continues pacing. 

               “I find that kind of hard to believe.” Mule makes a face. “Of course, I found it hard to believe that Raphael would work so hard to bring you back after letting you die. But I suppose anything’s possible.” Mule lays back down, too tired to care about the glitter or whatever prank Gabriel is up to. Helel will talk to him when he wakes. This is all probably a dream anyways. He has some pretty vivid ones sometimes.

              “So what?” Helel mutters. “He took is damn time about it.” Raphael didn’t bring her back for her sake, he did it for Gabriel. Possibly for Mule or Ben but absolutely not because he cared about her at all. He was punishing him. Delaying and delaying Helel’s return until she could have had no effect on her son’s development in his most formative years, now she has a child who hates her, won’t speak to her, deceives her, who loves his… nanny more than he does her. And still, still she has to do everything she can to make sure he’s prepared and healthy and knows everything he needs to know not just to live but in case he dies and it’s still not enough. The most important of all those she’s had to lead back to the right path and she’s failing, miserably.

                “He’s just getting further and further away from me.” Helel sits next to her exhausted husband, and snaps the glitter from them both. “He won’t talk to me, he... just… He’s always in his room when I’m here, studying. And apparently going to hell to misbehave in my absence.” This gets a tired chuckle out of Mule, which she ignores. “Then he runs off with some girl to purgatory, then to another thread of reality entirely. What next? Is he going to take up residence in the deepest corner of the abyss to get away from me? Move in with Death? Maybe he’ll take over Hell, I don’t know!” Her husband just starts to laugh even more at this. “This isn’t funny, Samuel.”

                “My dearest, darling shining star.” He pulls her closer with his strong warm arms, which she allows him to do so he doesn’t tear a tendon, “You went from Benbeing quiet, which he’s always been a quiet child, and having a secret treehouse fort, at age thirteen mind you, to having him take over and become the new kind of hell in all of a minute. You’re upset. I know you’re upset but you have to admit it’s a little far fetched, a little extreme and kind of… overdramatic.” He kisses her waist.

                 “It’s not a secret tree house fort! It’s the deepest depths of hell and he goes there to…”

                 “Relax and have a little fun without cutting into his busy schedule.” Mule says calmly in that way that really pisses Helel off.

                 “To play video games and eat junk food. He’s disobeying me, clearly, intentionally, unrepentantly and deceiving both of us to do so.”

                 “He plays animal crossing and mario cart and eats granola bars and sunchips and drinks organic soda.”

                 “Which I specifically forbid him from doing.”

                 “You specifically banned animal crossing?”

                 “It’s a video game! I said no junk food or video games and may I remind you that you agreed to support me on this.” 

                  “I did.” Mule sits up. “And I will support you, but that doesn’t mean I agree. I will never say this to him or in front of him, but your forbidding those things is far more unreasonable than his defying you and doing it anyways.”

                  “Junk food is unhealthy, Samuel, and can damage his body, which he needs. And Video games are often associated with maladaptive behavior.”

                   “Honey….”

                   “Don’t honey me. I have researched all of this, I’m taking so many precautions, and I’m still ruining our child! Can’t you see that? I’m the parent that sends all these children down the wrong path, all the ones I had to save and I can’t… I should have just stayed away. I should have stayed in the abyss, and not even tried to raise him because I’ll just ruin him the way I ruined Gabriel.” Helel throws herself down on the bed, face first into the blankets by her husband’s feet.

                    “There is nothing wrong with Ben. Maybe a little anxiety, but he’s a good boy, a clever boy, and the most compassionate kind hearted young man you’ll ever meet. If he didn’t learn that from you directly he got it from your grace. Do you know why he won’t with Abigail? Because she was lost and atone and in over her head and she needed his help even if she was too proud to admit. He helped her as best he could and refused to let her go into purgatory alone. What he did was good and kind and a bit over confident in his ability, but he’s not on the road to perdition, Helel. He’s not Gabriel. And he’s also not poisoned by the darkness, which makes a difference, and we both know that. Playing E raed video games and eating popcorn as his form of teenage rebellion is the purest, most innocent act of rebellion in recorded history, and you know damn well that you did sneaky defiant little things behind Michael’s back all the time. And I’m not talking about Gabriel. I’m talking about little things like Game Day.” Mule leans over to gently rubs her back.

                   “I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Helel scowls looking away from him.

                   “No? You don’t remember telling me? Maybe you were sleepwalking. You did that alot in the second trimester. But you know, game day. When you’d take a training session when Michael was busy with some of the other batches, and play fledgling games with them. Including tossing them across heaven like beach balls with your younger siblings.”

                   “And I told you this?” Helel looks back at him suspiciously.

                   “You tried to toss me across the room. It didn’t work so well.” Mule smiles. “I understand what you’re doing with Ben and I’m trying to support you, but you’ve told Ben that he’s a man now, you’ve given him more responsibilities, most of which he was already doing anyways, increasing his already busy schedule, but you’ve told Ben that he’s a man. You have given him more responsibilities, most of which he already did a lot of, but you haven’t given him more freedom. He needs more freedom to grow into a full complete capable man. He needs that. You know he does.”

                    “He’ll have it when he’s ready.”

                    “It doesn’t work that way, Helel. Life is a learning process. You can’t just study about the world and think you’re ready for it, and go do everything perfectly you have to start small, learn skills, and knowledge you can only get from interacting with other people. He has to get his heart broken, skin his knees, offend someone, fail, lose a friend, be lied to, be tricked, be hurt. He needs those things to happen.”

                   “No, he doesn’t.” Helel bristles.

                   “Yes, he does.” Mule puts a hand to her cheek. “That’s what being human is. Falling and getting back up again, making mistakes, and not only surviving them but learning from them. He needs to fail before he only has life and death situations before him and he needs to be free to try.” Helel just looks at him a minute.

                   “He’s not human.”

                   “He’s not an angel either.” Mule reminds her. Helel  doesn’t say anything. “Honey, you know I’m right.”

                    “I know no such thing.”

                    “Alright. I’ll give you another year…” Mule sighs. Helel quickly turns to face him, a little taken aback at the direction this is going.

                    “Or what? You’ll leave me if I don’t change my parenting style?”

                    “No. I’ll only make Ben follow my rules when you’re not here, and not yours. I told myself I’d give you time to find your wings, I guess, in regards to parenting. I shouldn’t have. I should have been more involved from the beginning, but…. but I don’t know what I’m doing and I never did. I relied too much on Harahel and yes, I admit it, when it got too much, I ran away on a hunt. I just saw you in him everywhere. And Harahel was just so dependable in every way. He had such a way with him, he still does.”

                   “You seem close enough.” Helel says bitterly. “At least he talks to you.”

                   “Well, he kind of had to about certain things.” Mule starts to rub Helel’s back, but stops as there’s a cold patch on her left shoulder. “What.. what’s that?” He pauses moving his hand around in the area where her wing would be. In moving his leg also touches a very very cold spot on her right thigh. “And that.”

                   “Nothing. I’m fine.”

                   “You’re cold and as far as I can tell, you’ve never been pissed off in just a small section of your body before, or two.”

                   “I damaged my wing. it’s fine. I can fix it when I calm down.” Helel refuses to even acknowledge his leg.

                   “How did you… Did Michael hurt you?” Mule puts a protective arm around her, as if he could stand a chance against Michael if she went on a violent rampage. it’s kind of cute.

                   “No, he just threatened us, and grounded me.” Helel rolls her eyes.

                   “Wait… why did he… actually more importantly why are obeying? What were you doing when he got there?” Helel’s stubborn silence speaks volumes. “You were fighting with Raphael, weren’t you?” For the love of all that is Helel has no idea why Mule sounds so pleased at this.

                   “It’s not as if Raphael’s every interaction with me isn’t him practically begging for a punch to the face.”

                   “It was an actual physical fight, wasn’t it?” And he still sounds so pleased, “Just bare knuckle beating on each other, breaking things?”

                   “Why does this make you happy?”

                   “It’s progress. You’re not just ignoring each other anymore. Besides, you pulled your punches.” He kisses her cheek.

                    “And how exactly do you come by that conclusion?” It’s not a denial.

                    “Because he actually managed to hurt you, and Michael didn’t, as I assume he would have had you beaten Raphael to a bloody pulp.  You’re much more powerful than he is, and better at him at pretty much everything combat related. If you’re hurt at all, you had to have been holding back.”

                    “Don’t think for a second I wasn’t trying to put the little shit back in his place. He’s such a mouthy little smartass… “Helel grumbles. “And just absolutely insufferable. Do you know what he had the nerve to say to me? Do you?”

                    “Honey, I’m sorry, but you’re going to give me frostbite if you don’t calm down a little.” Mule holds his fingers to his chest, trying to rub the feeling back into them.

                    “I’m sorry, sweetie.”

                    “So, do you think you can sneak out of your room to go on a date with me, or will he be checking in?” Mule ventures to touch his wife again. “I mean, I know you’re grounded and all, but…”

                    “Oh, shut up, Michael doesn’t have the authority to send me to my room anymore.”

                     “Yes, but you’re still here.” Mule teases.

                     “Because you’re here, not because Michael grounded me. Is it so unbelievable that after fighting with my siblings I might want to come to my husband for a little comfort? Even if all you’re giving me is sass and mockery, it seemed reasonable at the time.” Helel refuses to admit he was sent here.

                     “I’m sorry.” Mule kisses her cheek. “I’m just glad you two aren’t ignoring each other anymore. Maybe now you can start to work things out. Why don’t you take care of that wing and I think your leg and we can both relax a little bit before coming back to all of this. Preferably when I’ve gotten a full nights sleep?”

                      “Alright, but only because you asked me to.” Helel pats his head. “I’ll come back when you’re rested.”


	29. Wasted Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail's freind is in trouble  
> Luci's getting crankier,  
> Dean did something stupid  
> Shelly is up to something.
> 
> and because I forgot to say it earlier. Happy Holidays!

            “Why is Tris chained to the bed in a dark padded room?” Abigial asks cooly as she looks through the one way window on the door.

            “Well, she wandered over here, freaked out beyond belief.” Luci starts to explain.

            “And you decide to chain her to the bed in a dark room to put her at ease.” Abigail interrupts, earning a dark look from her uncle. “Sorry.”

             “I’m getting a little tired of everyone giving me shit, Abigail. Now try to remember I’m a person to be feared and respected at least until I’m finished talking. Capice?” Luci takes hold of her chin. Abigail nods. “Good girl. So apparently some vampire nest her aunt had been hunting found her and decided to use her to lure in her aunt. And then to torture her for information with and such… and well, they turned her, and abandoned her in the middle of nowhere. Or she escaped. She can’t remember which. She hasn’t felt yet, but she is turning and she has to be kept away from everyone while the local hunters find her aunt and the nest.”

              “The local hunters will kill all the vampires and she won’t be able to be turned back.” Abigail turns to scowl at her uncle. “We are not leaving her like this.” Abigail storms off to the basement. Though Luci can’t imagine she’d find anything of use in there, he does wait until she comes back.

               “She is your friend. I at least thought you’d want to say good bye and give her instructions for purgatory.” Luci frowns at her as she comes back up with small styrofoam cooler and a balm that reeks heavily of garlic that she rubs over her wrists ankles and neck. “Don’t forget the femoral artery.” Abigail just gives her a look, but Luci doesn’t budge. “You’re not going in there until you do.” Luci moves in front of the door.

               “Very well.” Abigail sighs and turns her back so she can lift her skirt and apply it in privacy. “I’m feeding her pigs blood to keep her going. I’ll find out more information from her if I can, but we have to save her aunt and do our best to turn her back.”

               “Abigail…” Luci starts.

               “Fine. I’ll call uncle Sam, he’ll help.” Abigail pulls out her phone.

               “No you won’t and not because the blatant attempt at manipulation I see right though, but because they are all on vacation and need it and you are not disturbing them. Got it? I can handle this myself just fine. I just don’t fucking want to.”

               “I know you can and I wasn’t trying to manipulate you into doing it. You said you wouldn’t and Uncle Dean’s on assignment but Uncle Sam’s had experience turning back new vampires. And he cares about people outside his immediate family.”

               “Look, I will do everything I can to save your little friend and her aunt.” Luci rubs the bridge of his nose. “I feel like killing things anyways. Go in and get what information you can, but you’re not going to see her again until Michael’s back and can protect you.” Luci takes a machete from where it leans against the wall, and follow her inside. Tris winces as the light comes it from the opening door.

                “Abigail?” she lifts her head. “Oh god, you reek. What have you been pressing garlic with your entire body?”

                 “Just so long as I don’t smell good enough to eat.” Abigail replies.

                 “You still do that’s what’s so disturbing. what’s going on? What’s happening to me? I thought your family would… would help me.” Tris starts to cry a little. “Everything is so loud and bright and painful. Is.. is there a washing machine in here somewhere? Or a dryer?” Tris looks around. “Am I next to some kind of industrial laundry room?”

                  “That’s the sound of our blood flowing through our veins and all the little irritating functions these bodies do all the time.” Luci pats her head and stands at Tris’ head, machete in hand. Tris looks up unable to look at anything but the weapon. “Don’t worry. This is just to kill you if you go berserk and attack Abigail.” Luci smiles. Tris is not reassured.

                 “Are the cuffs vampire proof?” Abigail asks, not bothering to hide her irritation. 

                 “No, Abigail, we put her in soft easily breakable worthless chains.”  

                  “Then you don’t need to be in here with me.”

                 “Yes, I do. Miss Tris, you are turning into a vampire. We have hunters out trying to save your aunt, and capture the vampire that turned you.” Luci decides to ignore her testy niece.

                 “What are you doing?” Abigail glares at her Uncle, remembering to keep her voice low, “Are you trying to make things worse? Why… ignore her, Beatrice,” Abigail takes her head. “We’ll do everything we can to help you turn back.”

                  “I can turn back?”

                  “Yes, my mom did, we just have to know who turned you.”

                  “They… I don’t know. They poured it into my mouth from a goblet. I didn’t see who filled it. They made a circle, spoke very bad latin. I remember something about family and they repeated one alot one for all, all for one. One was other blood or serenity… I don’t know, I was scared.”

                   “Oh those mother…” Luci puts a hand to his eyes. “Alright. I’m leaving shortly I call your Aunt Claire to come and chaperone her while Michael watches the children.”

                   “Everything will be alright, Tris, I promise.” Abigail rubs her hand. “If you’re hungry I can give you some pigs blood. But if you drink human blood we can’t turn you back.”

                   “Understood.” Tris falls silent, though from what Abigail can see, she still looks frightened. “My aunt’s dead isn’t she?”

                    “We don’t know.”Abigail says quietly. “So don’t decide that she is. Don’t give up. People have survived worse things. Recovered from worse. And you don’t know you won’t or she won’t and let me tell you, you have a better chance then a lot of people because you’re here, with us.” Abigail holds Tris’ hand to her chest, gently rubbing it. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

                    “Please don’t leave me alone.” Tris begs. Abigail looks up at Luci who sighs and starts texting.

 

                    “You can’t go off hunting vampires on your own.” Michael says firmly. 

                    “You can’t go. They’ll sense you from a mile away and take off. The Winchesters are unavailable and you are not disturbing our sister’s holidays for something like this. Besides if we’re going to save Abigail’s friend we’re going to have to get either every one of them alive, or samples at all their blood and you’re not great at not destroying things completely and utterly. Plus I’ll need to question them and you’re not great at torturing either, besides which the twins and Abigail and the squabbling siblings need watching. Besides which, I can pray to you if I’m in trouble.

                     “You’re not going alone, and that’s final.” 

                     “Once I rescue Adhira, I won’t be alone. I’ll just find the other hunters.”

                     “I’m sending an angel with you.”

                     “There is no angel that would go with me or try to keep me alive or unharmed except possibly one who’s pretty much useless, and we don’t need her meeting her other half. Only Raphael got along with his and he’s a little freak so…ow.” Luci puts a hand to her shoulder when Michael lightly whacks it with the back of his hand but not light enough. “I meant it in a good way.”

                      “I’ll ask Castiel and Dean. They should be back from their hunting trip. Dean can protect Abigail while she helps comfort her friend. Castiel.. I don’t care what kind of problem you’re having with Dean, this is an order. I want the both of you…” Michael stops speaking as a very pissed off Castiel appears holding a disgruntled blonde toddler in his arms with piercing green eyes wearing an oversized ACDC t-shirt and nothing else.  Luci and Michael both just stare at the pain, who stare defiantly back.

                     “What the hell…” Luci can’t help but comment.

                     “I don’t have time for anything short of an emergency because my boyfriend had to be young again, so much that he what little common sense he has.”

                     “Bit me, Cas.” The young Dean scowls, crash his arms. “Obviously this was not supposed to happen. And I was going to kill him anyways. That fucking…. sheep head.”

                      “Aw, cussing babies are so cute.” Luci coos, with a mocking grin.

                      “I don’t understand how Banebdjedet had the font in the first place.” Castiel seethes.

                       “He won it in a card game.” Dean mutters.”Will you put me down. I can walk, you know.”

                       “I do not know your current body is totally disproportionate to your old one.” Castiel retorts. “Because you are an infant! A small child.” He corrects himself.

                        “What’s going on?” Shelly comes out of the bedroom and squeals. “Oh, lolo, look at this!” She runs over and grabs Dean from Castiel. “You cutie wootie widdle darling.” Shelly nuzzles his nose and smothers him with kisses.  “Who’s a cootie. Who’s a widdle cootie pie?” Luci starts laughing.

                        “Michele… stop it.” Dean covers her mouth.

                        “Hey, Benny boy! You didn’t tell me you had a son.” She ignores him, pushing his hands away and carries Dean into the guest bedroom.

                         “Nobody is changing him back, I am sick of this. The rule remains that unless it’s life threatening he deals with it on his own, if he has to live as a small child for the next… fifteen years than so be it!” Castiel looks pissed off.

                         “Go with Helel on this hunt and I will ensure it.” Michael offers rather diplomatically. I will watch the children while you are away.”

                        “I can’t I have to go destroy Banebdjedet. He’s killing residents of the nursing home he doesn’t find attractive and extending the lives of those he does for his own personal elderly fertility cult.”

                        “Wow, Dean was the right man for the job, then huh?” Luci snorts.

                        “I’ll watch the children. Castiel can go with Helel and Michael can go take care of the pagan god at the nursing home.” Michael just stares at Harahel who doesn’t seem the last abashed at telling everyone what to do.

                       “Are you taking charge of us now, little librarian?” Michael asks a bit frighteningly.

                       “I’m making a suggestion. Forgive me for not stuttering and cowering appropriately as I did so. Do you still have any of the twin’s old clothes?”

                       “Dad, no, why would we?” Luci makes a face, though it’s all he can do not to laugh. Other Harahel’s a little sassy pants.

                       “Yes.” Michael vanishes almost at the same time and returns with several large totes. Luci just stares at him. “In case we ever decide to or accidentally have any more children.”

                       “Okay, we are officially never having intercourse again.” Luci picks up the machete. “Alright. C’mon son, your daughter’s downstairs with Abigail who’s interrogating her friend. She should be able to tell us where to go.” Luci heads towards the elevator. 

                     “I am not your son.” Castiel sullenly follows after him.

                     “Keep an eye on Michele. She can be a handful.” Michael walks back to the twins room. “Children. I’m running an errand. Be good for Ben’s Harahel.”

                     “Yes, Ma’am.” They both say and come out with a few small charm bracelets.

                     “Oh, let me dress him. Please?” Shelly begs as Harahel opens one of the totes with his free hand, He is of course, holding Dean backwards thanks to all his squirming.

                     “I can dress myself. I’m not going to be this small forever, young lady.” Dean tries to squeeze out of Harahel’s arm. “Put me down Goddamn it!” This gets him a light smack on the butt. “Hey! Who did that?” 

                     “You need to watch your language.” Harahel scolds him.

                     “You are aware that I have killed angels. Several angels.” Dean glares up at him. “Maybe dozens, I haven’t really kept track.”

                     “I know you are a very tough human man, but what Michael did using your body is not the same thing as doing it yourself. Besides, you are a small helpless child right now. How many things did you kill as a three year old?” The fact that the twins don’t burst out laughing make Shelly feel a little concerned.

                   “Something just licked my foot.” Dean looks around as best he can. So he can see, Shelly snaps a pair of little glasses over her eyes. “Holy fucking chr.. hey!” He exclaims as he sees George and gets another smack on the bottom. “ George growls and bites Hara’s hand making the angel drop Dean in surprise.

                    “That’s right, Georgie girl. Protect the babies.”

                     “Let go!” Ben pulls George off Hara’s hand. “Hara no, don’t smite...fuck! I mean… shit. And please don’t spank Uncle Dean.”

                     “This one seems to need it. Both for language and lying.”

                     “He’s my uncle Dean, and while you now have the dubious honor of spanking Dean Winchester and living to tell the tale,” Shelly grabs her uncle as George starts to lick his face. “He is sixty years old, he can swear as much as he likes.”

                     “I was referring to the blasphemy.”

                     “Yeah, good luck.” Shelly snorts. “If fighting beside Lolo himself didn’t make him stop, I doubt a little rap of the bottom will.” Hara just wipes his hand off, so she reaches over to heal the tiny bite. “And he’s not exaggerating or lying. He’s killed so many things he’s lost count. He even killed Death. Isn’t dat wight, unkie Dean?” She pinches his nose, he just glares bloody murder at her. “You can’t treat him in this hilarious manner because he doesn’t know and love you like he loves his little shelly girl, right my little Dean Bean?” Shelly squeezes both child and puppy to her cheek. 

                      “There is a limit to my love for you, Michele.” Dean otherwise tolerates the affection. It’s Shelly, there’s no helping it. Though he does feel far more sympathy for Abigail with her being the center of her cousin’s affections.

                      “Ben?” The twins edge over to him. “We’re sorry. We didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

                      “I know you didn’t.” Ben kneels down and hugs them both, the hug being the only acceptable reason for anyone to kneel down to talk to them. “It’s alright. Just listen to Abigail’s warnings or misgivings next time.”

                     “Okay.” Riley nods not meaning a word. 

                     “We made you charms. This one, freezes time for a little while.” Chris hands Ben the bracelet.  “You just have to break it.”

                     “I made you a little bouncy charm. For when you start going hunting. the first injury you get will bounce back at the person who gave it to you. But it’s only once a day, and maybe only good for really big one’s a couple times. Maybe seven, I’m not sure.” Riley ties it on his wrist. “Don’t break this one.”

                      “Is that one of Aunt Bree’s feathers?” Ben looks at Chris’ bracelet.

                      “That or one of Shelly’s.”

                      “I have no idea which is honestly horrifying to me.” Shelly looks at it. “If it’s mine the spell won’t last for long. I dunno. Why can’t I tell?” 

                      “Because you get your grace entirely from your mother?” Ben suggests then gives a smug grin as they both think about who has who’s grace.  Shelly just tucks George in with Dean who’s desperately trying to avoid getting slobbered on again, and  punches Ben in the shoulder. “Ow! No, I love Aunt Bree, but you know if we’re talking about sheep power and which is fortunately not fueled by weirdness.”            

                      “Yeah.” the twins agree, the little traitors.

                      “Hold your child, you little shit.” Shelly shoves Dean into Ben’s arms and storms off back into her room. Ben just ignores her as the twins start going through the boxes with Harahel. 

                      “So, why aren’t they turning you back?” Ben sets Dean down and sits respectfully in front of him. “Was it part of the reaper treaties? Abigail’s been showing them to me.”

                      “No. Cas is just being difficult. All injuries sustained in a hunt are fair game for healing so long as they’re not dead, the dead one must plead their case personally for resurrection, at the sole discretion of the reaper assigned them. But in exchange for this cooperation, angel’s cannot interfere with the natural aging process of said humans or natural illnesses not caused by any supernatural force. But violence, yes. So, someone could stab me in the chest and Cas could heal me, but get the flu and I’m on my own. If I trip on my laces and spear my brain with a poker, I don’t get any take backs  unless it was an enchantment of bad luck or clumsiness or something. All hunters have to sign when they become hunters or reapers toss them into the abyss when they die. And Sam and I had to be the first to sign, along with our significant others. If we break it, they will reap every hunter’s soul they allowed to be resurrected since the start of the treaty. It’s complicated.”

                       “Um, Dean?” The twins scoot over on their knees. “Will you please let us play dress up with you?” They plead with faux little pouts that don’t fool him but are still adorable. “Please?” They hold up a little set of batman swim trunks and tank top. “Please?”

                       “In your room, Door shut, no pictures.” Dean grabs the trunks and walk off to their room, the twins high five each other and drag the tote into the room behind them.

                       “Are you alright?” Ben ask’s Harahel.

                       “I’m fine. My apologies, I get a little cranky still, sometimes.” Harahel gives an embarrassed smile. “And I don’t like your uncle any better for being a blasphemous mass murderer in this thread.” 

                       “I know.” Ben grins.  They both wrinkle their noses as a sudden stench of sulfer.

                       “Oh! Ahhhgggghhh… George! Really? Uuuugghhh.” They hear from Shelly’s temporary room. Ben just laughs as the suspicious Harahel goes to open the door and check anyways.  Shelly’s inside, opening windows. “Been saving that one up haven’t you, you smelly little bitch?” She says playfully. “Oh, I so hope the wall gets out before Uncle Raph gets home. We probably shouldn’t have any visitors for a while.”

                       “I want this door open, young lady.”

                       “Yeah, sure.” Shelly says in a suspiciously nonchalant manner.  C’mon Where am I going to go? I’m in enough trouble already.” Shelly explains with a charming even more suspicious smile which she maintains as Harahel looks at her for a few minutes.

                       “Come out into the living room.”

                       “Yes, sir.” Shelly picks up George and obliges.


	30. A Deal is a Deal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly visits Crowley, takes care of business, runs some errands and gets a pleasant but ill timed surprise.

             “Hold your child, you little shit.” Shelly scowls and shoves little Dean into Ben’s annoyed arms and storms off with George. She looks the door behind her and unrolls the rug she borrowed from Abigail, stepping quickly into the throne room of hell, George still held in her hands. “Hello, Uncle Crowley.” She sings. “Can I talk to you? Privately?”

            “Of course, poppet.” He gives her a smile and waves everyone out of the room.  “Things are going well, I see.”

            “Oh, peachy.” Shelly gives a curt smile, “Except of course for that little deal you made with Abigail.”

            “Oh? I thought it solved the problem quite nicely. It’s not perfect, of course, but it’s believable.” Crowley shrugs.

             “And ensures that my family can’t kill or depose you until Abigail’s at least eighteen. Which is a nice touch.” Shelly walks over and plops down on his lap. “I have to admit I’m starting to get a little put out that this never arouses you. Not that I want to, but I mean, come on, I’m pretty enough, aren’t I?”

              “What can I say you vain little thing, I suppose when I look at you I still just see the bossy loud little three year old standing on my throne and falling in love with my hounds. I have my flaws but pedophilia is not one of them.” He tweaks her nose. Shelly just sighs. 

              “You know, there wasn’t really much of a point to that , though, as I did make a deal with you personally to ensure your resurrection, recreation or whatever it takes to bring you back within a year of your death.” She puts an arm around his neck. “ Of course, that was in exchange for neither you to any of your demons making any deals with my baby cousin as long as she lives and would you look at that, that is just what you went and did as soon as I died, isn’t it?” 

              “I did no such thing.” He manages to sound vaguely offended. “I simply approached Abigail with the problem and left her actions to her conscience and good sense. The Deal, with a capital D was with Asase Ya not Abigail. Perhaps she views it as a deal, but really it was just… a bribe.” Crowley pat’s Shelly’s back. “And not to do something reckless and stupid, mind you. I was bribing her not to tell your family of my involvement of this. Your father loves you very much and isn’t always the most reasonable or practical person when it comes to his loved ones. Crowley snaps up some roses made of icing, her favorite. “I would never break a deal, Michele.”

              “No, I know.” Shelly sighs and rests her head on his shoulder. And thank you, but I’m not hungry.”

               “Is everything alright?” Crowley places the dish aside. “It’s not like you to refuse sweets.”

               “I know, and no, I’m not alright. I’ve been fired, Uncle Michael took my blade away I’m grounded. They just don’t understand. I’ve managed to put off the issue of George, but that’s going to happen soon. And what’s worse that little brat Abigail came home with, you know jack frost, is apparently genetically my brother. He’s dad’s son with Uncle Helel in the other thread. Can you imagine? The thought’s just…” Shelly can’t finish.

               “Terrifying.” Crowley supplies.

               “I was thinking ‘wrong’, but that works. I don’t want  to go home but I have to because I’m kind of grounded. How many minutes here would get me back in a minute there?”

                “A few hours at least.” Crowley reassures her. “Would you like to go dancing? Help me with my kingly problems? Take Georgie here soul hunting?” He offers.

                “No. I just need a hug. And to make sure you understand just how unhappy I am with how you handled this. I did not want Abigail involved with any of this in any degree in any way.” Shelly asserts, keeping her head on his shoulder. “She could have been killed.”

                “Darling, that young woman is very capable very intelligent and one day will be an extremely formidable person who I absolutely do not want to cross in any way. Even I can see the innate Majesty within her, though I doubt it has occaission to surface much. Mother found her a very apt pupil. She crossed dimensions, twice. I know you want to protect her, but not at the point of restricting her growth. You do want her to blossom into everything she could be, don’t you?”

                 “Of course, she is my cousin. My beautiful brilliant cousin. Do you think she could continue her lessons? I could probably help her get here and back.” Shelly asks casually, so as not to let him know how much she really wants it to happen.

                “I’m sure you could, very easily. Though, while mother has been enjoying her as a pupil, I’m not so sure that long term exposure to mother dearest is such a good idea. Not as she is, your sweet cousin is a trifle naive, who knows what could have happened with a less scrupulous person than myself.”

                “So, no to the lessons?” Shelly forces herself to sound disappointed.

                “Well, I didn’t say that. Simply not lessons with mother.  I would be more than happy to offer my assistance in her care and training. She will of course, be safe with me. But I leave it to you and her to decide.” Crowley kisses Shelly’s forehead.  “You know how sheltered she is, how detrimental that could be. I could teach her much more than simple spells. Such as little tricks and taps to watch out for, diplomatic double speak, the current climate of hell, and all the tools I used to rise to power. Useful things for a human girl surrounded by supernatural beings to learn.”

              “Hmmm.” Shelly grins. “Thinking of retiring some day?”

              “No time soon, I can tell you that much, but it’d be nice to have an heir in the wings, and you have purgatory.” Crowley wheedles.

              “True, I do.” Shelly agrees. Abigail as queen of hell, that sounds kind of perfect. If she can handle the twins why not? “But under no circumstances do I want my cousin to become a demon. I mean, come on, I don’t ever want her to suffer the pain and torment it would take to make her one, either in life or after.”

              “No, of course not.” Crowley reassures her. “Nor do I want you to suffer either. So why don’t you go back home, be a good girl, make up with daddy, get the little boy back home where he belongs, and work on having a good nice, peaceful life at least until you turn eighteen. You’ve done enough for now, enjoy being young and beautiful.

              “You’re right, I know you’re right.” She groans. “And you don’t have to worry. Abigail’s not going to tell on you.” Shelly reassures him, getting back up.  “Oh,”  She stops with a laugh. “So, get this, Uncle Dean went on a hunt undercover in a nursing home.” Crowley’s mouth twitches. “And he ended up getting turned into a three year old.”

              “Pardon?” he clears his throat, not sure he heard her right.

              “He fucked up with the fountain of youth or something. Uncle Cas is mad as hell and won’t change him back or let anyone else. So Uncle Dean is this grizzled sixty year old hunter stuck in the body of a toddler. Ben’s nanny actually spanked him for blasphemy. Twice! “ Shelly’s burst of laughter gets a chuckle from Crowley. “Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Cute little baby, I’m going to put him in a sailor suit.” She whispers. This gets a more complete burst of laughter from him. It sounds genuine. One of the most genuine laughs she’s heard. “Oh, shit... “ She exclaims, as she fumbles George out of her hands against Crowley. the dog scrambles as they both try to catch hold of him. George managed to climb into Shelly’s sweater, just as she drives the pick pocketed Angel blade through Crowley’s heart, and he other hand grabs his forehead.

             “I love you Uncle Crowley.” She kisses his surprised cheek.  “I’ll see you soon.” Shelly pours all of her might into smiting whatever is left before he can escape the vessel or retaliate. She gives a sigh and sits down on the throne.

             “Odd thing to do to someone you love.” She looks up to see Rowena walking over to look at the body.

             “I had to.” She runs her fingers back through her hair, “He’s too dangerous.”

             “And I’m not?”  Rowena almost sounds offended.

             “You’re not a man. Besides I do need you.” Shelly sighs. “Abigail’s not nearly ready enough to be Queen of Hell. I thought you might enjoy keeping the throne warm for her. You know, until and if she’s ready. And she’ll need a teacher. Aunt Alex doesn’t know that much and some things you need to experience or demonstrate.” Shelly snaps a large plush ornate throne up and pat’s the seat. Rowena slowly cautiously walks over to the throne and sits down.

             “Comfy.”

             “It suits you.” Shelly cuddles George a little. “Here.” She takes out some files from under her throne and hands them to Rowena. “Here’s a list of people capable, competant and with limited amount of ambition. They just want to do what they’re good at and be rewarded for it. Nicely, there are a few details to sprucing up the place, and how to get rid of the hellfire. Except of course for the boundaries. Here, a lot of this is just a few alterations away. There’s the proposed work force a list of demonic enemies of your suggested servants, so you can start the compensation in house. Here’s the memo explaining the transfer of power. And I will keep in touch. Here’s my cell number. If you need anything. Call me. I’d suggest leaving this here until the transition is over. “ Shelly motions to Crowley’s body.

            “You little minx.” Rowena smiles, resting a hand on her. “You planned all of this, didn’t you? From the first breath of rebellion.”

            “No, actually.” Shelly slumps down a little. “I was perfectly happy to keep him where he was indefinitely, as much as i could. I did love my uncle Crowley. And I fully intended to fulfill my end of the bargain, ever bit as much as he fulfilled his.”

            “You mean, resurrecting him? Put a bit of a damper in your little plan if you do, though doesn’t it?” She’s still being cautious, Shelly like that. It’s kind of nice having someone look at her and not see just a pretty face, or ebullient personality. Maybe Rowena will take her a bit more seriously than her son did.

             “Nope. I mean, sure I’d hoped not to have to do it until I was a little older, but… “ Shelly shrugs it off. “Shit happens. So, all I need from you to seal this deal are two things. A date and a location.” Shelly smiles, and stands up handing a small piece of parchment to her. Rowena reads it and looks up at her. “This part I’ve been planning since before I made the deal.” Shelly winks.

             “How do I know I can trust you? You Winchesters aren’t exactly known for keeping your parts of a bargain. Your mother’s side is no better. After all you loved him.” She nods to the body on the floor. Rowena feels oddly regretful. Yes, there are times she wanted to see him dead, but not this way, instantaneously, laughing with a smile on his face.

             “Well, because you will remember the lesson he failed to learn any other way. Do not fuck with my Abigail. Even at all, it is never going to be in your best interests. Ever. And remember, above all else, I don’t love you.” Shelly looks her straight in the eye with a friendly yet terrifying smile.

              “Understood.” Rowena nods. It’s both frightening and almost arousing how much the lass resembles her uncle at times.

             “Great. I look forwards to working with you.” Shelly rings the bell by the throne.

             “You rang, si…..?” Crowley’s attendant walks in and pauses looking at the body on the floor. “Ma’am.”

              “Hi. So, there are going to be a couple changes around here.” Shelly scratches behind George’s ears. “Isn’t that right, Georgie girl? Yes. Yes, it is.”

 

              “Shelly walks slowly through the village, the stolen cloak around her shoulders. The location charm was easy enough to assemble, though honestly she probably didn’t need it tugging her hand in the right direction.  She can hear the screams and loud cursing from a nearby hovel, and probably would have from farther away. There are an awful lot of pigs around.

               “Well, she said he was a hard birth.” Shelly mutters to herself and slips into the veil. Rowena never mentioned how young she was. she can’t be much older than Abigail. She is beautiful, though. maybe she could pass for sixteen. Little baby Fergus McCloud. With a tiny button nose and a few wisps of wet red hair pasted onto his little head. He’s adorable and disgusting at the same time.

               “He looks just like his father. A little Fergus.” The young Rowena comments thoughtfully as he’s presented to her, looking at him with wonder. “Be a dear, toss him to the pigs will you?” She hands him back to the midwife. Much as Shelly wants to do, and older woman steps forwards and stops Rowena across the face.

               “Shut up you dumb slag. You were stupid enough to have this baby, you will be taking care of him. Or you’re the one who’ll be going to the pigs.” This must be her mother. “What did I tell you about that boy? What did I tell you? But no.. he loves you, you love him so he’d never just go off and marry that rich girl. Not with a baby… you stupid little slut.” The woman takes the baby and puts him in the bassinet. He starts to cry. But the midwife is busy and his grandmother doesn’t seem inclined to relieve his mother of any of the burdens of motherhood even the least bit. So Shelly walks over and quickly soothes him, putting him to sleep.

                “Don’t worry, baby boy, you’ll get a do over.” She nicks a small piece of the umbilical cord from his belly button and adds it, to the mixture already prepared and kept warm in her bra,  and kept warm in her bra. The final ingredient, to ensure it takes, is easily siphoned off, into the vial. “I’m sorry.” She kisses his cheek when he gives a whisper. “I’m so sorry.” And she heads back to hell, downing the contents on arrival. 

 

                 “Hey, you busy?” Shelly knocks on the door to Alice’s room.

                 “No, just thinking.”

                 “Oh, good.” Shelly enters, closing the door behind her. “What are you thinking about?” Shelly sits down next to her, gently without bouncing her. Alice wrinkles her nose and looks up at her.

                 “Mostly that you need a shower.”

                 “Hellhound farts. Those have yet to start smelling like cotton candy.” She lies. “I’m sorry I got you thrown out of your home, Alice. I didn’t mean to. If you want me to leave you alone, I will. You know I love you to pieces but if I’m only causing your problems…” Shelly forces herself to say. “I won’t like it but…”

                 “I didn’t get thrown out because of you Shelly, she threw me out because of me.” Alice reassures her, taking her hand. “I love you, too. You’re a chaotic pain in the butt and you always have been, but I don’t ever want you to leave me alone. Not for more than a few hours at least. Maybe a day or two, or like a week, maybe. Every now and then. Just, no longer than that unless you have to.”

                  “What about a few months next summer?”

                  “Well, summer.” Alice scrunches her nose. “Summer’s no good. Schools out and I need you to come harass me at my summer job.”

                  “Fall?”

                  “No. Not fall. We have apple picking, and harvest time at your school, so, no.”

                  “Winter?”

                  “Mmm, no, you need to drink hot chocolate with me and help me with my homework or whatever I end up doing. It will involve hot chocolate.” Alice shakes her head. “Springs no good because of all the holidays you have to force me to participate in.”

                  “And your birthday.” Shelly sighs and lies down beside her, cuddling up beside her. “Your mother is an idiot. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve never done anything bad. You’re a perfect daughter, just perfect in general. Who other than an saint could put up with me.”

                  “I’m not a saint. It’s because I love you.”  Alice confesses.

                  “Only a saint could love me.”  Shelly buries her face in Alice’s chest. “Alice I’ve had a bad day and things are going to be worse shortly and I don’t think I’ll be anything but a weight around your neck. If I was ever anything else. So, I just want you to know that I’ll understand. With all I’ve put you through, I won’t expect you to stay when I put you through more.”  

                   “Michelle.” Alice puts a hand to Shelly’s cheek, moving her face so their eyes meet. It’s funny how she only likes it when Alice calls her Michelle. With everyone else it means she’s in trouble, well except for uncle Raph, but he’s just weird that way. But Alice also does it when she just wants her to pay attention to something that turns out to be wonderful. “When I said I loved you, I mean that I loved you.”

                   “I know, but…” Shelly’s interrupted by a kiss from Alice. “ Ohhhh.” she realizes , feeling like an absolute idiot. “Oh shit!” Shelly sits up, suddenly, covering her face.

                    “I’m sorry. I don’t.. I don’t expect you to suddenly love me or anything I just… I didn’t know how else to make you understand and I didn’t want to keep lying to you about this. I’m gay and I’m in love with you.” Alice sits up scrambling a respectful distance away. “How could I not be though?  You’re the sun breaking through my stormy days. You’re blinding and dazzling and sometimes you’re just way too much, but I just.. I never could have survived after my father died without you. Anyways, I know I… I’m young and you’re just my first crush and once I get in a better place and start dating I’ll… I’ll get over it and be okay just being friends….”

                    “Don’t you fucking dare!” Shelly interrupts her indignantly.

                    “Michelle, it’s okay. I know you don’t feel that way.”

                    “The hell I don’t!”

                    “Oh? You want to have sex with me?” Alice demands then realizes what she said. “Um, eventually. Someday. Maybe. Not today.”

                    “Well, no, but I don’t want to have sex with anybody at all ever. I’ve felt no stirrings in any loins or any of that crap that makes me overlook terrible personalities no matter now pretty a face or healthy a body. But so what? We don’t always have to do what I want to do. That’s what dating and being in a relationship is, right? Doing stuff you’re not interested in because your girlfreind is and you like spending time with her and making her happy and seeing her happy. Right? I...SHIT Ahhhh, Grrrrr!” Shelly  grabs fistfulls of her hair. “This stupid… Just… Okay, I’m not lying to you or intend to keep anything from you really, okay? I just have to wait and make sure my parents get told something by my and no one else and everyone has such good hearing here, but don’t… just… put off dating for just a little bit, okay? Please? Just in case I’m not too much trouble, which I probably will be, but I’ll tell you if I can without being overheard, okay? Please? Just give me a little bit?”

                     “Okay?” Alice just accepts it because she’s wonderful like that and let’s Shelly have a comforting relaxing cuddle as long as she needs, just stroking her hair.


	31. A freind in need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail works on making Tris more comfortable  
> Luci reaches the end of his rope  
> Shelly has the opportunity to enlighten Alice.

             “Are you alright?” Abigail asks gently as Tris gives a sigh.

             “You know, I actually secretly thought it’d be really cool to be a vampire?” Tris confesses. “You know super strength, super senses, eternal youth, eternal life. And all you had to do was be a good vampire, not kill people, or something, but I didn’t really think about the downsides seriously. It’s like wanting to become a drug addict because you want the strength and fortitude and courage that all these inspirational people in the auditorium have.” 

              “Uncle Dean did kind of compare it to being on Pcp with all the wonderful things that implies. It can be done though, if we can’t fix you, we’ll be here for you. My mom was turned but only not even for a whole day. Uncle Dean was turned longer. So, you don’t have to be afraid, we’ll do everything we can.” Abigail’s low soothing voice is at the very least not agitating, but Tris doesn’t look any calmer or happier.

                “I feel like I’m stuck in the front row of a concert but there’s no music just… breathing and a million sonograms with constant flash bangs when that door opens.” Tris winces. “I’m starting to get used to it, though. Do you think you can unchain me? I don’t think I’ll go crazy and attack you or anything. I’m okay with being hungry.”

                 “Are you sure?”

                 “Yeah. It’s not like I haven’t dealt with being hungry before.” Tris admits. “Not an eating disorder, exactly, but I went on a hunger strike because I didn’t want my parents to get divorced. I lasted a week without food before passing out and being put in the hospital with feeding tubes. We all ended up going to family counceling and now they’re divorced anyways. I was four, and a little spoiled and a lot of stubborn.”

                  “That sounds like something Shelly would do if she didn’t like sweets so much.”

                  “Yeah, My sister tried to out do me by setting herself on fire, but she poured water over herself and not oil or something flammable by mistake, and only got a good spanking and also sparked a drastic change in my parents viewing habit. They were fairly enthusiastic protesters when they were younger, and tended to watch news and you tube video of tons of protests. They waited until we were asleep to do it. They were always so passionate about everything. I always wondered why Aunt Adhira just rolled her eyes when they talked about fighting evil through socially responsible carefully orchestrated protests and petitions.”

                  “ Those things are important, too, you know.  Yeah, hunters fight for our right to live and not be hunted and eaten by monsters, but you need to fight for people to have a life worth living, too, or what’s the point of anyone dying for it?”

                  “I guess I understand, but my entire family is just a bunch of drama queens. It’s like they think our lives are being filmed for some bollywood reality show.”

                   “Please,” Abigail grins. “They’re pure amature hour. My uncle once tried to destroy humanity because he thought Grandpa like them more. He started an entire civil war over it.” Abigail smiles and nudges Tris’ foot. Tris looks briefly confused before remembering what she just learned about Abigail’s family. “Aunt Claire? Do you think we could let her up?”

                    “Alright. Stand at the back of the room, Abby.” Claire says gently ushering her neice back. When Abigail’s in the far corner by the door, she unchains Tris’ hands and gives her the key. “No offense, but we don’t know you very well. And I’m not taking any risks with my niece. So no sudden moves, understand?”

                    “Yeah.” Tris unchains herself as slowly as she can. “Thanks. Was that really neccessary? I mean, do most people turn into uncontrollable slavering blood monsters when they turn?”

                     “I don’t know. Uncle thought so, but he’s been kind of out of sorts lately.” Abigail confesses. “I brought some pigs blood to drink if you get really hungry.”

                     “Ew.. no, I.. I’ll be okay.” Tris shakes her head. “I heard coconut water can be used in an emergency blood transfusion. Could I try that first? Maybe?”

                     “Um, sure, I guess. Uncle’s been really into aloe and coconut water lately, so she probably has some. Aunt Claire? Do you think we could bring her upstairs? I brought sunglasses for the light sensitivity and ear plugs to maybe help dull the sound?” Abigail takes them out of her bag.

                     “Jesus, you are just prepared for everything, aren’t you, Abby?” Tris puts the ear plugs in. “Oh, that’s better. Not by much, but it’s better. Alright.” Tris puts the sunglasses on. “Alright, give me the lights.” She doesn’t sound too eager, but gives Abigail and Claire a thumbs up anyways. “Holy Shit.” Tris winces as Claire obliges. “Owww. Just… peripheral…” She explains to Abigail. “It’s okay. I’m okay, Just let me get used to it.”

                     “I’ll go upstairs and have every close the blinds and dim the lights and quiet down a bit.” Abigail goes to give her a comforting hug.

                     “Oh, please don’t. You still smell disgusting.” Tris holds her hands up. “No offense.”

                      “None taken. It is the effect I was after.” Abigail says reasonably.

                      “Right. Since when are you so huggy anyways?” 

                      “She’s always been a secret snuggle bunny. she’ll cuddle pretty much anyone hurt or injured or upset. She’s a bit more selective when she’s upset, but yeah.” Claire grins. “Go on, I promise I won’t be machete happy.”

                      “Okay. I’ll be back down soon.” Abigail heads upstairs to prepare the apartment and her family. Hopefully they’ll be cooperative and understanding.

 

                      “Absolutely not!” Shelly exclaims, “You are not bringing some newly turned vampire up here. Are you insane? This place still reeks of hellhound farts. She’ll fucking die!” Shelly waves Alice to the windows and starts opening them. “Ben, a little help?”

                      “Um, okay?” ABen turns the ceiling fans on. Abigail just sighs and walks over to Where Harahel is standing. “ Could you please purify the air of the room by removing the sulfur particles And Methane is there is any?” She asks politely.

                      “Of course.” He replies just as politely and snaps his fingers. 

                      “Wait, what?” Shelly stops and looks at her.

                      “Purifying the environment is something I have to do frequently when viewing and handling old manuscripts on earth. There’s a bit of a backlog. Humanity grew literate faster than I could get and train more assistants.” Harahel explains. “At least in my thread.”

                      “Could we close the windows again? It’s October, the nights are fairly cold.” Abigail heads to the windows.

                      “Okay.” Alice laughs slightly glancing over at the embarrassed Shelly.

                      “Well, I’m sorry. I have had a rough day.” She pouts, crossing her arms.

                      “Abigail, what’s happened?” Tiny Dean walks out of the twins room wearing jeans, a tiny blue purple and pink plaid shirt and a little jean jacket with cookie monster on the back that he must not have seen.  Abigail just stops at stares at him.

                      “Oh shit, we forgot to tell her.” Shelly laughs a little.

                      “You… fell into the fountain of youth?” She ventures a guess and sits down respectfully on the floor so as not to tower above him.

                       “Close, but that’s not Important at the moment.” Dean walks over to her. Abigail successfully does not smile or coo or show any amusement at all at his current predicament. “What did you say? About your friend?”

                      “Well, Tris’ aunt is a hunter and apparently and this next of vampires she was hunting found out about her neice and used Tris as bait and incentive and turned her and Uncle Helel is going to try and help with Cas… but you probably know that since you’re here. Anyways. She’s scared but she’s doing okay so I’m bringing her upstairs.”

                      “Do you have any blacklights?” Tiny Dean asks. “It’s easiest on the eyes. And don’t use any chemical air fresheners. Chemical smells are the harshest.”

                      “Oh! We do!” The twins run back into their room and bring out strings of tiny black lights from the closet. 

                      “Dim the screen and turn down the volume on everything before she comes up. she can get used to it slowly but pretty much every bad feeling makes you hungrier.”

                      “What about touch?” Shelly asks.

                      “The same.” He confesses.

                      “Hold on. I’m getting something from my room.” Shelly vanishes and comes back with a large soft fuzzy blanket that she drapes over the recliner so Tris can wrap herself in it if she needs to.  She also brings over some silk pajamas. “I also have ph balanced shampoo and body wash. It works the best so far with the least ingredients and it’s not harsh at all.”

                       “Thanks I only have toiletries form Luci’s Garden and she can’t use those, obviously.” Abigail smiles. “Thank you.”

                        “How’s it with temperature? Are you more sensitive to that? I’ll run her a bath but I don’t want it to be too hot or too cold or something.”

                        “No, not really. it’s a much broader comfort zone.”

                        “C’mon let’s hang these up.” Ben a roll of duct tape and lifts the twins to put the lights up around the room.

                        “Nobody’s wearing perfume, right?” Abigail checks all the windows and curtains. “Also please remember to keep your voice down and not talk over each other quite as much. She’s still getting used to her more sensitive hearing.” Abigail goes to the televisions and turns the volume and screen brightness down. “Alright, I’m going to her her. Shelly, please, please please try not to be as loud and obnoxious as you usually are. Please. And absolutely do not manifest anything.” Abigail looks to all the angels with a look that indicates it’s slightly more decree than request.

                       “We’ll try to restrain ourselves.” Ben promises solemnly.

                       “Thank you, I’ll be right back with Tris and Aunt Claire.”Abigail runs back out of the apartment.

                       Luci walks slowly up the steps to the apartment. He’s covered in blood which is not as fun as it used to be. Those damned vampires had already scattered and will take weeks to track down. That girl is never going to make it until they’re all found. She’s going to snap and have to die and nobody’s going to be happy about this. It’s just going to be worse for Abigail for having tried so hard.

                      It doesn’t matter. He’ll take a shower, take a nap, call his siblings and tell him he’s fixed their children enough for them to finish the damn job themselves. For good measure, they can also take the twins while he and Michael go off someplace for a week, or well, as long as they damn well feel like. Or not, or nothing. Who knows, it’s not like he doesn’t have anything else he could do. Or should do.

                     The lights are off in the apartment because of course they are. It’s night and everyone’s asleep in front of the tv again. Though for some reason the twins blacklights from their fear of the dark period are up again.  Of course it’s not quite enough and he doesn’t want to trip on anything and kill himself. Maybe just the bathroom light, then. And of course he flips the wrong one because he’s human and human being do stupid things like this all the damn time.

                     “Holy fuck!” He hears a voice that does not belong to his family before he can turn it back off again.

                     “Da-ad!” Luci turns to see Chris, on the recliner, snuggles up to Abigail’s new vampire freind, who she thought was Claire or something.

                     “Turn the light off!” Riley adds, their hands covering Tris’ eyes. “She broke her sunglasses! Geez!”

                     “Excuse me?” He stops reaching for it. “ Chris, Riley, get your little asses over here. Abigail!” This cousin bolts up from where she fell asleep next to Ben, little Dean in between them. 

                      “Are you alright?” Ben is the only one who asks, of course. Granted they’ve seen him covered in blood enough to know it’s probably not his. Though it could be, and they could just accidentally be completely apathetic assholes.

                      “I’m fucking fine except for the fact that my surprisingly irresponsible niece has brought a newly turned vampire into my apartment with MY CHILDREN!”

                      “Hey! I had nothing to do with this.” Shelly protests.

                      “I said my SURPRISINGLY irresponsible neice.” Luci counters.

                      “Dean and I are right here, you know.” Claire crosses her arms, a little put out.

                       “Don’t start with me, blondie.”

                       “Where’s Cas?”  Tiny Tot Dean demands.

                       “Downstairs with Adhira working on a cure on hte off chance that we have everyone we need to help this absolute unimportant nobody of a human being. So Baby Fang over there can go back down to the secure fucking room I had her in and wait.”

                       “Oh, no she’s not.” Abigail stands up. “She’s an innocent victim here. We’re not… caging her.”

                       “A rabid dog is also an innocent victim, Abigail, but we don’t bring them in the house to play with our children!” Luci returns. Abigail just stares at him a little taken aback. As if she’s surprised by this. Which she probably is. Luci covers her eyes with one hand, the other on her hip and starts laughing. “Oh, listen to me. Sounding like i actually care. I don’t care. Why should I care if anything happens to those little brats? I didn’t want children. Not that it’s unique to just you two, none of you were actually wanted. Well, except for Abigail, who was meticulously planned and raised and yet managed to be the one to accidently place humanity in danger of world ending proportions. Not our thread of course, but still, congradulations kid, you’re officially a Winchester.” He gives Abigail a thumbs up and storms off into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Harahel grabs tiny Dean covering his mouth before he can go after his brother in law.

                      “This is for your own good, trust me.” He says. His Helel would never say something like that, but it’s more than obvious that it’s the same breaking under emotional strain as his brother has gone through, so it’s best to just get Mule and… no… Helel’s husband is Michael in this verse. So, hopefully he can help calm her down.

                      “Wait just one fucking minute!” Claire strides over and bangs on the door when she finds it locked. She’s not helping things at all, but Harahel is concentrating on informing Michael of the situation. “ I don’t care how bad a day you just had, or what kind of fucking mood you’re in, you do not say shit like that to people. Especially kids. Your kids, your nieces and nephews… you don’t. No. So get yourself to-fucking-gether and apologize when you come out or so help me I will beat the crap out of you.”

                    Luci just ignores her and steps into the shower.

                     “What did you just say to my children?” Of course, the presence of an angry Michael would turn the shower from freezing to steam almost before Luci can get out of the way.  

                     “Nothing that wasn’t true. Now will you let me take a damn shower without getting the skin scalded off my body?”  He demands,stepping out, the curtain between him and the hot steam. Though since Michael came in speaking Aramaic instead of enochian, he’s clearly not about to let any of this go. 

                     “ No.” Michael snaps Luci into a pristine state and at least manages to lock his heat in a little before Luci passes out. “Now you are going to go out there, apologize to them....”

                    “Oh fuck that, you asshole! You’re the one who decided to have them, not me. You’re the one who wanted all of this… domestic bullshit and you didn’t exactly give me much of a say.” Luci grabs his clothes. “We’re married. Like you wanted, Living next to Raphael like you also wanted, and his human family. I’m working in a damn human amature job like you wanted outside the home like you also wanted and you have everything you fucking want and I’m tired of pretending I’m satisfied with any of this petty worthless bullshit! So fuck that and fuck you, Michael.”

                     “I don’t care how you feel, or how frustrated with me and your life you are, you don’t take it out on them.”

                     “No, you don’t care how I feel, do you? Just so long as it’s how you want it. You never change. You will never change and you’re not even trying.” Luci retorts. If Mitcha wants a big ass fight they don’t want their children understanding, he’ll give him a big ass fight.

 

                    “Are you okay?” Ben asks Abigail who’s close to tears. She just silently shakes her head. “Would…” She hugs him before he can finish.

                    “She didn’t mean it.” Riley comforts a tearful Chris, though they both look fairly hurt by their father’s words.  They can hear their parents arguing in that language they use when they don’t want them to accidentally overhear them. Which means it’s a bad one.

                     “Do they usually fight in Aramaic?” Shelly asks looking oddly at the bathroom.

                     “No. A couple times.” Riley admits.

                     “When they do we’re never sure they’ll make up after.” Chris finishes quietly. “This is because we’re always doing stupid things and misbehaving and causing trouble.” Chris pushes Riley away, clearly indicating an opinion on where the blame really lies.

                     “No, it’s not.” Harahel tightens his lips, and puts a hand on their heads. “You two are not by any stretch of the imagination bad children, and even if you were, my Helel has handled a worse one with kindness and patience and never said anything like that to her. You two are absolutely not the problem.” He walks over to the bathroom, yanking the door open, half off the hinges. “You both realize that just because they don’t understand the words you’re saying doesn’t mean they don’t understand the fee…” A brilliant flash blinds them all for a second. As it fades, Luci walks out, grabs a large bottle of vodka from the cabinet and goes to the door.  

                    “Do whatever the fuck you want.” He leaves, slamming the door behind him.  Claire quickly moves to comfort the children with Ben, as Dean and Abigail see to Tris.

                    “Okay, we have maybe five minutes of privacy.” Shelly grabs Alice and pulls her into the bedroom.                       

                    “What…” Alice gets her mouth covered. 

                    “I’ll make it quick. Don’t tell anyone. I love you, too, but I just took took over Hell kindof, killed a loved one, and am pregnant so I’m kind of going to be a little high maintenance for a while. Shut up. So i I want to be your girlfreind, but this is kind of alot, so I’m not going to make you nadle this and I won’t accept an I-still-love-you-anyways-lets-be-together-forever from you until you’ve thoroughly thought this through and what it might mean to your life and your future and understand what you’re doing, so… okay?” She rushes quietly. Alice just stares at her blankly for a second processing thing. “Okay?”

                    “I’ll… I will think about it, yes. Carefully, thoroughly think about all of this. I really kind of wish you had, though.” Alice can’t help but sound a little irritated.

                   “Are you kidding? I was so friggin thorough about all of this… of course I didn’t know that you were in love wit me. Or I’d have maybe waited to talk to you about all this first, but there are deals and just so much… I’m really sorry. I didn’t want to make you keep so many secrets. You had enough to stress over but this is different.”

                   “Shelly, you are a walking natural disaster, like some kind of chaos god in training, or something. But that’s nothing new. Please tell me you weren’t planning on living with your parents...You’ll probably have to, but going into it thinking that is just…”

                   “What? No. I wouldn’t do that to them. I’m going to go into a homeless shelter around here, save money and get my own place. I did the research already.”

                    “Shel… how are you going to make money?” Alice asks, desperately not wanting to know.

                    “I’ll be a stripper, duh, at least until i start to show too much.”:

                    “You mean you won’t be showing everything?” Alice comments dryly “Shelly, you’re sixteen.”

                    “Seventeen in february.”

                    “Yes, but you have to be eighteen and you know damn well none of your family will let you get away with a fake id. Especially not for that purpose.”

                    “Oh, well, waitress then. I’ll start stripping after he’s on solids. Less hours, better tips.” Shelly shrugs. Unbelievable, and yet if she’s being honest with herself it’s not as unbelievable as Alice would prefer it to be. 

                   “You.. you know you’re going to kill your father, right? What is he fifty five?” Alice covers her face with her hands. She knows she won’t be able to talk sense into Shelly, even if it wasn’t too late to, but still, she has to try.

                   “That’s why I have to do it myself, Alice. I’ll tell them delicately. You’ll see.” Shelly hugs her shoulders reassuringly and kisses Alice’s hand where her cheek would be. Alice just puts her hands down and looks over at her trying to figure out how to say this.

                   “Michelle, How delicately can you say, Hey, daddy, guess what, I’m the new queen of hell, I murdered someone I love, and by the way I’m also pregnant, but don’t worry, i’m moving out and becoming a stripper. There’s no way you can tell him any of this without expecting him to have a coronary.”

                   “Okay. a few corrections, I’m not the new queen of hell. I have the throne held in trust by a competent third party until Abigail is old and experienced enough and she’ll be the queen of hell.” Shelly continues to speak gently as if she thinks any of this is reassuring. “I just need to make sure things go smoothly, that’s all. Sure I’m not her guardian angel any more but I can be her captain of the guards in hell. It’s… a lot to take care of which is why I need a job that’s only part time. You know.”

                    “Oh my god.” Alice breaks away and just starts pacing.

                    “What did you just say?” Shelly looks back to see Abigail at the door, phone in hand.

                    “Uh, that depends, what did you just hear me say?” Shelly smiles, at least until she sees Ben behind Abigail in the doorway with a look on his face that clearly indicates he heard everything, which means Abigail might. Of course Ben probably has super fantastic hearing and Abigail doesn’t.

                    “You made me QUEEN OF HELL!” Abigail exclaims.

                   “Oh, you heard that. Well, uh, it was supposed to be a surprise, but… Merry Christmas!” Shelly spreads her arms wide. It doesn’t seem to help matters.

  
  



	32. Home Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly and Abigail's parents come back from vacation and regret it immensely.

             “We needed this.” Alex sighs, sitting in the sunlight, empty glass in one hand and her husband’s hand in the other.

             “Hell, yeah.” Gabriel snaps her another drink.

             “We still don’t know what to do about our daughters though.” Raphael says dourly.

             “Yes, we do.” Alex swings their hands between the lounge chairs a little.  Gabriel nods in agreement.

             “You two need to take your daughters aside some place nice, calm private and special to the both of you, and you need to sit down and talk to them, and if they start to talk, then you listen. And you don’t stop until you understand each other.”

              “Or, you know, one of you has to go to the bathroom.” Gabriel adds helpfully.

              “Yes, Thank you for your contribution.”  Alex rolls her eyes and takes a drink.

              “Your very welcome.” 

              “It took days for you two to come up with this?” Raphael straightens up a little annoyed.

              “Oh, Dad no. This was just to get you two to relax and calm down enough to talk to them. Sure you two thought you needed to find a solution, But you know,” Gabriel shrugs. Raphael just sighs and sits back in his chair. “He did that because he knows we’re right.”

               “I know.” Alex smiles.

               “We did think of that but we still don’t know what to say, how to start.” Sam confesses.

               “Well, did you two geniuses consider just starting with ‘I love you’?’ Gabriel kisses her husband’s cheek.

               “Not starting with it, no.”

               “Start with it.” Alex looks to Raphael. “You’re usually good at this.” Gabriel snorts. “With me at least.”

                “Lovers are different than their daughters.You could always apologize for being cowardly little shits too afraid and hurt to talk to the when they needed you. More of a show don’t tell kind of way of saying you love them.” Gabriel suggests.

                “I’m sorry is the most beautiful phrase in the human languages.” Sam agrees. “Second only to ‘You’re right’.”

                 “Really? Even after hearing it so very often?” Gabriel gently moves over into his lap.

                  “Some things never grow old.”

                  “I’m sorry.”Alex apologizes as her phone beeps. “Hey, honey. Is everything okay?... What?... He what?... This is what?... No, I.. it’s okay, Abby. We’ll be home in a minute or two, just sit tight.”

                   “We all will.” Gabriel shouts into the phone, then is silent for a moment before whatever Abigail says makes her parents wince slightly and Gabriel burst out laughing.

                    “What’s happened?” Sam asks.

                    “Apparently eight children are too much for Luci.” She grins.

                    “What? Where did the extra three come from?” Sam sits up a little.

                    “Michael and Luci have taken in Alice who was thrown out of her house for being gay, she’s in love with our daughter by the way.” Gabriel informs him much to Alex’s annoyance. “What? It’s not as if it’s not obvious, or that Sam would object.”

                      “Yeah, I knew all of that, I just… forgot.” Sam shakes his head.

                      “Then there’s Abby’s friend Tris who apparently got turned into a vampire. Tris is Adhira’s niece, you remember her, the sarcasm flavored drama queen from the field trip in tucson. And then your idiot brother got drenched by the font of youth and he’s three right now.”

                        “What like… he’s three? As in mind and body?” Sam sits up.

                        “Just body.” Alex says after a minute. Sam starts laughing. “Everyone’s upset and we need to go.”

                        “Alright. You three go I’ll send our stuff back, reserve the place for Luci and Miqa because they’re going to need it. Oh yeah, I’ll set up the old play room so you and Shelly can talk.” Gabriel gives her husband a kiss.

                         “I guess that’s as good a place as any. Not too far from the liquor cabinet.” Sam sighs. “Just let us get charged… thanks, Raph.” Sam looks down at his swim trunks and tank top are changed to some more suitable for middle america in the fall. “Alright. Into the fray.” Of course when Raphael takes them back, Sam is more surprised at how literal he turned out to be. Most especially Abigail and Shelly actually fighting, or some facsimile.

                        “He was trying to help you!” Abigail grabs hold of Shelly’s hair and pulls her over the end of the couch to get her hands off his upper arms.

                        “No! Stop. Abigail!” Ben grabs her. “Don’t hurt her, she…” But an unappreciative Shelly reaches out, grabs Ben’s ankle and yanks, sending him to the floor, managing to make Abigail fall on his stomach at the same time, knocking the wind out of him.

              “CHILDREN!” Raphael booms. The twins just tightly hug a head covered with a thick fuzzy blanket. The person underneath is silently cursing at the noise.

              “Christ, Raph, will you quiet the fuck down? The kids are bad enough.” Tiny Dean breifly pops his head up out of the side of the blanket cocoon. He doesn’t see his brother’s force back some laughter, or the twitching of a repressed smile.

              “Abby, Ben, are you okay?” Alex helps her daughter up as Raphael just stops and stares at Shelly, who gives him a broad innocent smile, the look in her eyes clearly pleading with him not to say anything.  Raphael just takes a deep breath. Not now. He’s not doing this again. This is Gabriel’s job, dammit.

               “Your father will deal with you.” He replies and walks over to the freezer and takes out some of his special brew, taking a deep gulp of it. “Who replaced my liquor with cheap vodka?” He turns back to Shelly who shakes her head, looking almost offended.

               “You know I’m not that stupid. Ben? Oh don’t give me that look, I know you’re too well behaved. Have we driven your Hara to drink already?” She grins.

               “No. We don’t know. Does your uncle Michael drink?” Ben slowly sits up. “Mine doesn’t, but…”

                “What’s going on?” Alex and Raphael ignore the question. “Why are you fighting?”

                “She found out what I got her for christmas and doesn’t like it.” Shelly gives Abigail a cautioning look, which, as it clearly infuriates Abigail,  is otherwise ignored

                “HELL was never on my christmas list!” Abigail does her best to keep from yelling, but doesn’t completely succeed.

                “What?” Her parents asks as one

                “What?” Sam asks a little concerned.

                “She made me the queen of hell!” Abigail points accusingly at Shelly.

                “Future Queen of Hell.” Shelly clairfies, as if that makes any of it any better. “Your spell tutor is the current steward until you’re at least eighteen, though. You really should go to college first.”

                “They don’t have a Demonic Management degree at Harvard Michelle!”

                “Well, not but they do have Criminal Justice. I mean, you’ll have to minor in psychology, or you know the other way around, but you can absolutely….”

                 “Shut up! Oh my god! Will you please just stop talking for once!” Abigail looks like she wants to throttle her.

                  “And that’s her mother right there.” Claire grins a little. Alex shoots her a look.

                  “Abigail, I’m sure she’s just joking. Crowley’s the king of hell.” Alex reassures her daughter.

                   “Was.” Shelly corrects her aunt.

                   “Was?”

                   “She killed him.” Abigail informs the room.

                   “Oh.” Is all Sam says.

                   “She what?” Little Dean crawls out from under the blanket where he was reassuring Tris that no it’s not always like this, but it is far too frequent a thing to be concerned about this particular incident.

                    “Are you sure? He’s faked his death before.”

                    “Oh, yeah,” Shelly nods. “Blade through the heart and smote him for good measure.” She mimes it out.  “Distracted him with the puppy. Nobody takes me as seriously as they should. It’s useful at times but so incredibly annoying.”

                    “W-Why would you do that?” Dean exclaims, clearly having mixed feelings about the information.

                    “He’s too dangerous and can’t be trusted. We had a deal and he broke it for his own self interest. Not technically, but no… he knew better and if he didn’t he was never going to learn.” Shelly crosses her arms and shakes her head.

                     “And the deal he broke?” He father says surprisingly calmly, and not the least upset.

                      “That nobody would make deals with Abigail either a demon or any person on a demon’s behalf, or any deals involving Abigail or her soul after that one. And he’s the one who told Abigail what happened to me and got her involved in that mess. So I killed him. I really thought you’d be more upset about this dad.” Abigail muses.

             “No, you were right. He’s dangerous. But he was useful so we put up with him when we should have killed him long ago. It’s okay, sweetie.” Sam waves her over. “C’mon, let’s go home and talk about this.” He gives her a hug. Shelly quietly nudges George away with her foot, glancing back towards Ben who quickly goes to pick up the hellhound pup. Shelly mouths him a thank you.

                “I’m not so sure you should…” Raphael stars to protest but Gabriel shows up.

                  “Alright. I sent out notices to Michael and Luci, so Father daughter time.” She snaps her husband and daughter back to the bunker and sets the apartments back in their original order. “Raph?’

                 “This is a mistake, Bree. Unless their father daughter time involved getting stoned together, I don’t think…”

                “It’s fine, Raph. Geez, have a little faith. I know my husband. It’ll be fine.” She reassures him. “Now, your daughter on the other hand has lost it and needs her daddy to go let her know she’ll be okay. I’ll watch the rest of the children with my stepson here.” She pinches Ben’s nose. “With Alex, so no more excuses, or delays and stop being so damn pusillanimous about this, you wuss.”

                  “She killed Crowley and took over hell for Abigail to rule in the future.” Raphael informs her the worst things he can handle discussing right now.

                  “Oh, well, we’ll be fine, seriously, relax.” She shoves her brother to where his wife is trying to calm down his furious daughter.

                  “Abigail,” He says after another shove from his sister. Abigail’s instantly quiet and looking down at her hands. He can’t think of what else to say. “Stop shoving me.” Raphael snaps, turning to face his sister who just gives him yet another forceful nudge in his daughter’s direction. It takes a stern glare from him to make her step backwards and put her hands behind her back, after which he can finally turn back to his family. “Will you come for a walk with me?” He extends his hand. “Get away from all these lunatics for a moment?” He pushes his sister aside as she goes to push him again. Abigail quietly nods and takes his hand.

                    “I’ll talk to you later.” Alex gives her daughter a kiss on the cheek and stands up.

                    “You take Ben and Alice. I’ll take care of the new girl and my little brother in law here…” Gabriel bends over to smile at an unamused Dean.

                     “I don’t need to be taken care of. Tris does. This is a very difficult time and she doesn’t need the sensory overload.”

                     “Oooh, big phrase. Somebody’s been using their medical word a day calendar.” She pinches his cheek.

                      “Fuck off. I’ve got this.”

                      “So you want to stay this way?” She frowns. “That’s fine by me, but.. oh, there you are, Michael. I’m going to take Tris downstairs where it’s quieter and not as bright. So you can comfort your children.” Gabriel disappears with them. 

                       “Are you okay, mom?” Riley asks as Michael gives a sigh.

                       “Are you two?” He kneels down to embrace the twins. “It’s alright. Your father loves you both. He’s just.. a self absorbed narcissistic asshole sometimes.” 

                        “But he said…” Riley protests indignantly.

                        “He didn’t mean it.” Michael reassures them.

                        “Maybe he didn’t mean it,” Chris sniffs, wiping his eyes off. He almost wishes they didn’t both decide to be boys with Dean today, but they did so he has to try his best not to cry, even though Riley’s better at that than he is. “But Dad never says anything he doesn’t mean to say.” 

                         “Boys…” Michael tries to figure out what to say to that. “Did he say he didn’t love you or that he hated you?”

                         “I don’t care about his feelings!” Riley blurts out angrily. “He said something mean just to hurt us and to hurt you. I don’t care if it’s true or it’s a lie. He made Chris cry and that’s not okay. And I don’t like him saying things like that to you either, even if I can’t understand him, I know when he’s being nasty and it’s not okay!” Riley storms off into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him.

                       “I never said it was okay.” Michael hugs the even more upset Chris to him. “I just don’t want you to believe something hurtful that’s not true, alright?”

                        “We were an accident though.” Chris says quietly.

                        “That is true. And I won’t lie and say that he wanted children, much less human children. But sometimes we don’t always want things that are good for us or that we’ll really enjoy or realize how wonderful and important something can become to us. And he loves with you from the day you were born, to what he thought were your first smiles.”

                         “So… I should just.. forget what he said? “ Chris asks with heartbreaking sincerity.

                        “No. We forgive him, but don’t let him know it until we’re convinced him to go into therapy. Because whatever is going on I think he needs a little more help dealing with it than we can give right now, okay?”

                        “Okay, mom.”

                        “Thank you.” Michael gives his child a kiss. “So, go talk to Riley now or in a little bit.”

                        “We should get some thai food and lure Riley back out of our room with it.” 

                        “Good idea. set the table. I’ll be right back.” Michael ruffles his hair and disappears.

 

                  “I’m sorry about all of this.” Alex apologizes to Ben as he holds onto George.

                  “Is it always like this? In this thread?” He feels exhausted just thinking about it.

                  “No. Sometimes, but this is the first time the children are the reason for it. We old people are becoming obsolete I guess.” She gives a small smile.

                   “Is… is  He… Is your brother in law always so cruel?” He can’t help but ask, though he doesn’t want to know.

                    “He used to be. A few decades ago. He’s getting better, but it’s a work in progress. There’s this saying about two wolves inside you, one good and loving, one bad and hateful, always fighting and the one that wins in the one you feed. The whole thing is much more poetic and inspiring, but anyways when he took the mark, the darkness fed that bad one. And it was too much. It’s a war either way, and you’ll always have flaws and make mistakes, but Luci.. i was too much and he tried to just bear with it alone. That and he completely alienated the person who could have helped him the most. Luci’s much better now, the darkness is contained, and it’s poison gone from him, but the damage is still there.  It’s so much better than it was, and he is slowly healing and becoming a better person. He’s trying and healing but there are going to be steps back. And dealing with living proof of what he could have been, is probably a little beyond him right now.” Alex puts a hand to his cheek. “So, it’s not you; he’s just an asshole.” Ben has to laugh slightly at this.”

                      “No, he.. he wasn’t cruel to me. Ge was cruel to the other children.”

                     “What? Alice and Tris?”

                     “I don’t, a little to Tris, but mostly to the twins and Abigail. And she was, he was kind of mean to Shelly on the hike. And the things he said to Michael.. In aramaic, it’s like he’s trying to make them hate him or something.” Ben frowns. He can’t imagine his mother actually meaning things like that, but he can’t imagine her just saying them for effect either.

                     “Do you know where he went?” Alex asks after a minute. 

                     “No.”

                     “Is it safe to assume you’re holding a hellhound in your arms? “Alex asks looking down.

                      “Yes, I am.” Ben nods, petting George.

                      “I think we need to find her. Sooner rather than later. I’m going to go get something of Luci’s. There’s a leash in the bedroom closet. If you could put it on her and get Alice?” Alex asks. Ben nods and heads to the master bedroom.

                       “Are you okay?” Ben asks as he sees Alice just lying on the end of the bed, staring at the ceiling.

                        “Yeah,” She replies, not looking at him. “I just have a lot to think about.”

                        “She has a good loving supporting family, you know.” Ben says going to the closet. “She doesn’t need you to sacrifice everything to take care of her.”

                         “I know.” Alice smiles. “I still need to think or to stop thinking. I’m not sure which. What are you doing?”

                        “Getting a leash so Abigail’s mother can look for , um, for her brother in law.”

                        “You mean Luci?”

                        “Yeah.”

                        “That dog is a pain in the butt. We should go with her. George doesn’t listen very well.” Alice stretches and sits up.

                        “I was just thinking that.” Ben smiles. “I’ll let Harahel know.”

                        “Where is your angel? Shouldn’t he be back when Michael was back?” Alice picks up her socks from the floor where she kicked them off.

                        “He’s fine. He’s probably just lost. He has no idea where places are or how to get there from any other place on earth even in our thread. It’ll be alright.” Ben smiles.

                         “Alright.” Alex comes in with Luci’s favorite shirt. “Will you two be alright until Raphael gets back?”

                         “Yes, but we’re going with you.” Ben states firmly.

                         “Oh?” Alex raises an eyebrow.

                          “Yeah, he can see Georgie there and she’ll actually listen to me sometimes. Besides, he took me in.” Alice shrugs, feeling extremely weird about being concerned about the devil. She also wants to talk to him about Shelly, but that can wait until they know he’s okay.


	33. Daddy Daughter Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluff and reconcilation

             “I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to you.” Raphael takes hold of his daughter’s hand as they trek up the peruvian mountainside. “I didn’t know what to say. Your mother want me to tell you I love you, but I think you know that I do.”

             “I know, and I love you too, abba.” Abigail replies, not looking at the lush foliage around them. “It is nice to hear it sometimes though.” 

             “I love you Abigail. But you hurt me very deeply.” He stop walking and sits down on a large outcropping of stone. “Do you understand that? You lied to me or at the very least you deceived me.”

              “I’m sorry.” Abigail stands contritely before him., her voice low and unsteady.

              “No, don’t…. don’t apologize..” He sighs, wiping the tears from her cheek.

              “But I do feel sorry. I wanted to tell you and talk to you, but he had a point, and I couldn’t do that to any of you or put you in that kind of position. I didn’t went to hurt you at all, I just…”

              “Didn’t trust me.”

              “I did. I do. I knew you’d want to tell her parents and they couldn’t…”

              “Abigail.” Raphael tops her. “That plan you had was a wonderful plan. And any of the adults could have done it ourselves just like you did. Sam could have gone and gotten his daughter himself.”

              “Abigail.” Raphael stops her. “That plan you had was a wonderful plan. And any of the adults could have done it themselves just like you did. Sam could have gone and gotten his daughter himself.”

              “But…”

              “Humans are pretty much allowed to try anything. Most of the treaties prevent us angels from helping them in some ways in exchange for the cooperation of the reapers in others. Crowley manipulated you, Abigail. For his own gain. I’m fairly certain that Sam would have killed him for what happened to his daughter.”

              “I know, that’s why I wouldn’t tell. I just… I just didn’t want anybody to get hurt, or cause trouble of world ending proportions and that’s just what I did.” She starts to cry.

              “It’s alright.” Raphael gets up and hugs her. “Everything is alright. The entrance is sufficiently guarded at the moment, they’re simply having difficulty finding a way to keep it open, but impossible to pass through for all but the archangels and Ben. The world is not in danger of being overrun. On the scale of apocalyptic events. It’s only just higher than Buccaneers Bounty being recalled and discontinued. Understand?” Abigail nods and holds on tightly to her father. He’s being very loose with his metaphor but she’s fairly sure he wouldn’t handwave her starting some kind of real apocalypse like this.

               “I’m still sorry, though.”

               “You’re forgiven. Now, what can I do to make sure that you feel comfortable coming to me about thing like this in the future.” He gently smooths back her frizzy hair from her face.

                “You didn’t do anything wrong. I just… I was stupid that’s all. I love you and I trust you, I just...I just thought it was like how sometimes we keep things from uncle. You know. Not that...it’s just you have done things that I know you wouldn’t now, but… it just… if you thought you had a good enough reason…. I don’t know how to say it.” She admits, not really sure she wants to see it, in truth. He doesn’t want her to either.

                “I understand.” Raphael sighs. “You were following the example set for you, I can’t say I haven’t done things as terrible as my brother. I’ve always been honest with you about them. In an age appropriate manner of course, just like Helel has been. All of us have made terrible mistakes, done terrible things, even your mother.”

                “But you’ve done great things, too.” Abigail gently reassures her father. “Wonderful things, good things and you’re all trying hard to do what’s right. Abba, I’m scared.” She looks pleadingly into his eyes. “I’m not strong enough to be the Queen of Hell. I’m just human. And it’s so easy to make mistakes and do the wrong thing or cause harm. And that’s just a bad place to be with terrible choices and decisions to make. I don’t...”

                 “Abigail.” Raphael smile gently, kissing her forehead. “You are under no obligation to become the Queen of Hell. None. At all. Under any circumstances. You do not have to accept any gift that makes you uncomfortable. Not at thirteen, not ever. I will make sure your cousin understands this.”

                  “What is WRONG with her?!” The frustrated little scream is all to familiar.

                  “I don’t know. But she does love you very much. And will be doing so from a distance for a while. It will be alright.”

                  “No it won’t be. You don’t understand. With that kind of dowry there’s not an underworld god in existence that will leave my alone now. I will never get rid of Bia and Tano if only because their mother will insist, and I just can’t… I just wanted to go to school and make friends and… and maybe try to be normal at least a little because I am just a normal regular human being.” She desperately insists.

                   “Whatever you are, Abigail, whatever you wish to be, I will be here. Loving, protecting and supporting you as best I can, and doing everything possible to keep you heaven bound.” Raphael gently reassures her. “Just please don’t shut me out again. Trust me the way you want me to trust you, the way I did trust you, and all will be well with us, with everything.”

              “I will. I promise.” she hug him tightly. “Are we getting some fruit for uncle?” Abigail sniffs and sits down beside him. 

              “I thought we might. He’s having a hard time and they are ripe about now. They are for some reason his favorites. Of course, given how he came to acquire a taste for them I suppose I can’t complain.” Raphael shakes his head.

             “How did he get a taste for them?” Abigail asks, holding tightly to his hand as they walk through the thick forest, as she always does.

             “I never told you?”

             “No.”

            “Well, I told you how we ended up reconciling, didn’t I?”

             “You had to take care of him after Uncle Michael got shot and he felt bad about how he’d been treating you. And when you got taken by pagan gods, he rescued you.” she gives a nice sanitized summary of the nice sanitized version of the story he told her when she was younger.

            “There is a lot more to it than that, which I don’t completely feel like going into further detail tonight. But after he rescued me, no one other than I knew he was really genuinely reforming, so he was still being hunted. Michael who’d believe me was dead, Gabriel was mortal and pregnant and on bed rest so we couldn’t go to her. So we had to make our way home ourselves. They thought he had killed me or taken me you see. And it was a shoot first ask questions later situation in their eyes, which was not unreasonable and one I would have advocated for myself. Never underestimate the lethality and cunning of your Uncle. Most who do, don’t survive it.” Abigail just nods, the same seems to be true of Michelle.

            “So, we had to walk from the temple,  down the side of the mountain to the nearest airport.  It wasn’t close. At all. And we were both human. He did have my grace with him. But it was fused and confined within Jade and he was keeping it hidden from people who might be looking for it inside his chest cavity. It healed him and others he touched automatically, thus making it impossible for him to remove at the time. It would heal us, but there are very rapidly fatal creature in this place so to be on the safe side that we had to keep physical contact with at all times. Meaning we actually ended up holding hands the entire way down. Of course that made eating an issue. So we were limited to close range gathering and low hanging fruit.” For some reason this makes Abigail start laughing. Not that he objects but he doesn’t see anything that humorous. “Care to share the joke?”

             “No, I just… it just made me think of a little uncle leading a little you down the side of the mountain, holding hand with him as loud and Bossy as Michelle, with you trailing silently behind.” 

             “Accurate except we weren’t little. I don’t understand why you and your mother like to think of us as small children. “Raphael shake his head.

              “I don’t know. It’s cute.” Abigail gives a sheepish shrug.

              “Yes, it is.” He can’t help but smile. “How are things with Jamal? Or was that just a cover story?” He avoids saying the word lie.

              “Oh, no it wasn’t. Um, I don’t know.” I.. I kissed him. Before i left.” She admits, covering her face with her free hand, “But then I kind of forgot about him and now I feel a little awkward and not really sure what to do.”

              “You… forgot about him?”

              “Yes and I don’t really think he’s so great anymore but now I’ve kissed him and i have to see him in school all the time. I don’t know what to say either because it’s not like he’s any different, he just… doesn’t really measure up anymore. I can’t say that, though. Especially as I don’t really know why. I wish I hadn’t kissed him, but I was probably going to die, maybe and I thought…” She sounds as if she knows that wasn’t the best reason for kissing someone, but at least she’s learning that in regards to just a kiss.

              “Does this have anything to do with a certain handsome young nephilm you’ve recently befriended?” Raphael tries to ask casually, not entirely sure he pulls it off.

              “Ben’s… Ben’s my cousin, Abba.”

              “You can say that, though you’re not genetically related.”

              “Abba… I like him of course, but it’s not like that.” She gives a sigh that sounds more like a sigh of regret than it does exasperation as she intends. “Besides he.. he lives in another thread of reality. Even if I was romantically inclined towards him, which I am not, I know better than to even consider long distance relationship like that. It’s just not practical. And I have too much to do especially with Shelly being Shelly, the brat.” She scowls. “Besides she told him the daddy doll story. You can’t have a romantic relationship with someone who’s been told embarrassing things like that about you. They can’t possibly see you in a romantic light after hearing things like that.”

               “That is fortunately not true.” Raphael thinks back to the many fledgling Raphael stories Michael has told Alex, and doesn’t even want to think about the things she got told about him during Michael’s therapy sessions. “It’s also not possible to actually die of embarrassment, though that also feels very true at times.”  He confesses. “Though it is true that it’s rare for long distance relationships to work out. And you are young. With few exceptions you never stay together at this age, and feelings change without your knowing why.”

               “I already know all that. So, that’s why I can’t possibly have a crush on Ben. It makes no sense at all. We’re friends and I can use a friend as sensible sane as you are. I have too many crazy people in my life already. I would never mess that up with something as unstable and impractical as romantic feelings.” Abigail says solemnly, fooling only herself.

                “That’s very sensible of you.” Raphael declines to inform her that reason usually has very little to do with who you’re attracted to. 

                “Thank you.” She nods primly. Her father just suppresses a smile. Of all the crushes his daughter could have, Ben is a fairly good young man to have one on. You’d never believe he was Helel’s son at all. 

 

                 Shelly looks around the old playroom. Still so many toy, first for her, then for when Abigail came over. Then when the twins visited. She’s glad she’s kept them now. He’ll like the little plush duckie. It’s so fuzzy and still remarkably clean and plush and not at all bald in places as by all rights it should be.

                “Are you sure you want some fruit?” Sam carries in a tray of fruit and cheese and crackers.

                “Yeah, I kind of need to start eating healthier.” She sighs. “Sure I’ve done okay so far, but I’m an adult now, so I should be more responsible, and you know… I won’t be sixteen forever.” Shelly shrugs.

                 “That’s true.” Sam sits down at the card table. “You only have four more months in fact.” He’s teasing her so that’s a good sign. “Michelle...”  fuck.

                “You are mad at me, aren’t you?” Shelly says accusingly and nibbles on an apple slice. “These are store bought, aren’t they?” She makes a face.

                “I’m certainly not happy with you, and no they aren’t. Your uncle picked them himself.”

                “Oh, maybe I don’t want fruit, then.” She tosses the half eaten piece back on the plate and walks back and forth a little.

                 “Shelly, please just sit down and talk to me.” Sam pleads.

                 “Why? I know what you’re going to say. That I’m reckless and stupid, irresponsible, spoiled,and going too fast, trying to do to much and I’m in over my head and all that stuff.”

                 “Oh, really? And how do you know I’d say that?” Sam crosses his arm.

                 “Because I’m reckless and stupid and irresponsible, spoiled, go to fast trying to do too much and I’m in over my head. A little. Maybe.”  Though she dramatically plops herself down by his feet, resting her head in his knees, she still refuses to completely admit it. “I know what I was doing. I had to do it. And I still know what I’m doing, but… why can’t you be angry at me? Why do you have to be okay with this? I just… I killed him, Dad. Murdered him really, which is so much worse. Why aren’t you mad at me?”

                   “Because I love you.” He declines to speak ill of the dead. “And it’s a thought I had many times myself, and each time he betrayed us, I regretted not doing it myself. I’m only angry that my leaving it undone put you in the situation where you felt you had to do it.” Sam reassures her. “Now, I don’t understand why you would place a steward on the Throne of Hell to keep it in trust for Abigail. Not.. not any part of that.”

                   “Well, can you think of a better way to ensure Abby doesn’t go anywhere near hell or demons again and that the steward of mutual interests I installed does everything she can to  ensure no one actually wants her on the throne, and probably that she doesn’t want it either?” Shelly sniffs. 

                   “And if Abigail decides to take up the mantle out of asense of deeply ingrained responsibility?” Sam asks. Shelly just gives a sigh.

                   “That would also be fine. She’s responsible enough not to even think about taking the throne until she’s as prepared for it as humanly possible, which she will be. I mean she has Uncle to help her with that sort of thing. I’d be there to protect her. And she’s an incredibly moral and practical person. If uncle Raph’s other self could rule hell over there and still remain a good person… “Shelly shrugs. “I have thought of a lot of things so many contigencies and angles. But if I missed any then I’ll deal.” She straightens up, pulling herself together. “It’s okay, Daddy. I’ve got this all in hand. I promise.” Shelly stretches up to kiss his cheeks.

                  “Michele,” Sam sighs, putting a hand on her face. “You can’t do everything by yourself. You can’t.” Sam runs his fingers through her hair, pushing the golden curls out of her eyes and unsticking her hair from her damp cheeks. “I know you can do anything, but you can’t do everything, especially not at once. No one can. You and your uncles….” Sam shakes his head. Shelly’s not sure which uncles he’s talking about. Maybe all of them. “ And you know better than this, michele. What are we always drilling into the students at the school? From day one?”

                  “Never hunt alone.” Shelly responds sounding as if she’s rolling her eyes, though she isn’t quite. "But that’s different. It doesn’t apply to me.”

                  “Oh?”

                  “No. I’m an angel, they’re just… hum.. ah.” She stops herself at the annoyed and partly offended look he gives her. “I’m not saying that I’m … you know, inherently better than a human or anything. It’s just… I kind of am. You know, in terms of speed, strength, healing. I have grace, wings. I can travel through the ether behind the veil, I know pretty much everything. I have way more connections and a lot of leverage because of that. A human partner would just be a liability to  me and anyone the least older or stronger would just think I was a liability to them. I can’t partner with anyone younger or even close to my age because that’s just irresponsible and quite frankly can be consider child endangerment which is a big no no both in human and angelic circles. Anyone older than me is just soooo condescending They’re always right. I’m always wrong, I don’t know anything yet, blah, blah, blah.” She motions with her hand.

                 “It must be infuriating.” Sam says calmly.

                 “Oh you have no idea.”

                 “Especially when you do know everything already and really they should be listening to you instead of their own training and experience.” He continues, so sympathetically, resting his chin on his hands.

                  “Exactly… I… no… Daddy, don’t do that. You know what I mean.” Shelly scowls at him, crossing her arms resisting the urge to bop his nose like she does the twins and used to do when they were playing.

                 “I do know what you mean, pumpkin.” He insists, though he can’t possibly. “You know alot and you can do a lot. More than almost any other person your age, and you are physically superior to a lot of people. But as if you recall, you tried to take care of things on your own, and you died. You died, Michelle.” He straightens up making Shelly glad she didn’t bop his nose like she wanted to. “Do you know what that did to me when I found out? Do you?” The look on her father’s face is so much worse than anger. She has to turn her eyes away. 

                 “No, look at me, Michelle.” Sam takes her by the chin and gently guides her face until her eyes meet his. “When we saw those letters, and found out that you were dead, that you died, alone in the depths of hell… I felt like my heart was breaking, actually breaking inside my chest… Of everything in my life I have done and witnessed that was the worst moment I have ever had. Even seeing you alive and safe couldn’t take those feelings away.”

                 “I’m sorry.” She almost shrinks in on herself. “I really didn’t mean to upset you or worry you or hurt you at all. That’s why I didn’t tell you because I didn’t… I’m sorry.”

                 “I forgive you, but you are not an adult yet, Michelle. You’re not a child either, but you’re still my little girl, and you’re human enough not to be fully mature yet. both physically and mentally.”

                 “So I’m going to get taller.” Shelly smiles suddenly. “Maybe I could be a supermodel instead. Oh, but then I’d have to do all those creepy corpse faces and dead body victim poses. Unless I was famous enough.” She considers out loud.

                  “Are you even listening to me?” Sam can’t hide his frustration.

                  “Of course I am, daddy. It’s just the thing you said made me think of another thing which made me think of another thing like super fast.” She sits on the edge of the small old card table. “If I wasn’t listening, I’d have thought something else entirely.” She kisses her father’s cheek as he closes his eyes and silently prays for forbearance.” I was listening. I’m not an adult or a child, and am not done growing yet.”  Shelly summarizes, scooting closer as he just sighs and puts an arm around her shoulders. Of course that would be the moment the table chooses to collapse underneath her, sending the fruit plate onto the floor. Sam just pulls her off, so she doesn’t fall. “Whoops. So much for my Nihao kailan table.” She looks at it, holding onto his neck. “Should I have mom fix it?”

                  “It’s lived a surprisingly long life for all the wear and tear it’s been put through. I think it’s time to just let it move on to it’s final reward.”

                  “Aww, well that’s okay. I’ll replace it with a sesame street one. They still have sesame street right?”

                   “Can we focus a little? Michelle, honey?” Her father asks, as she steadies herself.

                   “Yeah, sure, okay.”  She returns her full attention to him.

                   “Now, this is very important. I need you to tell me the full extent of your interactions with Crowley and your… visits to hell, as well as every other demonic encounter you’ve had. This is very important.”

                   “Okay.” Shelly takes a breath. This is going to take a while.               


	34. A Song for the Broken Hearted.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex, Ben and Alex find Luci.  
> Alex sqares off againt Luci,   
> Ben sort of snaps  
> Luci lends Sam a helping hand

                                

              “What…” Ben frowns as they near a small playroom where Shelly is sitting with her father. They’re clearly talking but the sound is muted. “No. George, no...Not Shelly…” He gently tries to lead the dog away.

              “Hold on.” Alice holds her hand out to feel if there’s anything blocking her in, and steps into the room. She exchanges a few words with Shelly who comes out of the room with her.

              “Alright, where’s the shirt.” Shelly picks up George who licks her face all over. Alex hands her the shirt. “Find Uncle Helel, Georgie girl. Find Uncle.” Shelly holds it right in front of the pup’s nose. “You can do it, yes you can. Now listen to Auntie Alice okay? Here you go.” Shelly hands George and the shirt back to Alice. “Alright. She should get you there now. I’m about to tell dad, wish me luck.” She crosses her fingers.

              “Remember. Do it delicately. And do not mention any of your future plans at all.” Alice cautions her.

             “He’s not exactly a young man.” Ben adds, as he cant help staring at his father’s counter part. It’s strange seeing him with long hair and not in some sort of army green. You’d expect him to have more grey hair, aside from the five oclock shadow. Maybe he dies it.  Shelly just ignores him and heads back in. George leaps back down and continues on his way down the hall in the same general direction. “I guess he just got distracted by Shelly being nearby.” He reaches out and opens the door George starts pawing at. “Um…” He stares at the small closet full of cleaning supplies. 

               “No, that’s just the broom closet. Hold on.” Alex closes the door again turns it the opposite direction and pushes in, revealing a black portal. “This way.” She steps inside. Alice and Ben look at each other and follow. They step out into more darkness with a few very distant stars, and a walkway lined with torches. It leads shortly to a large fenced area with angelic guards and some large store bowls and an altar.

                “Excuse me.” Alex walks up into the irritated guards. “We need to go inside and retrieve Lucifer. He’s needed at home.”

                “Do you have a pass?” One asks.

                “No. I don’t. But I know he didn’t, and we know he’s in there, so you can make me call my husband or sister in law for a pass and interrupt some much needed parent child bonding time, or you can let us go inside and get him out and no one will mention any of this to anybody.” She waves Alice and Ben forwards. The angels just turn their heads to look at Ben, eyes wide.

                  “None of this.” They step aside.

                  “To anyone.” Ben feels very awkward as they just watch him walk over to the fence.

                  “Hold hands so we don’t get separated.” Alex takes one of each of their hands and step into nothing. They quickly follow.

               The peace and quiet of the abyss is almost relaxing. Luci just sits under the base of the willow tree and looks up at the sky.

               “You understand I just need a break, right?” He announces to the light baracadeing the darkness above him. “Maybe they’ll be done figuring out who get first crack at me by the time I’m back. So...cheers.” He lifts the bottle, only to be interrupted by the barking of a small hellhound. “Oh, wonderful.” Luci shoves the bottle down as deep into the snow as he can.

                 “Hey.” An out of breath Alex breaks through the willow branches, stopping to bend over and rest with her hands on her knees.

                 “Alex.” He greets her with a raised eyebrow.

                 “Whatcha doin?” Alex sits down next to him in the snow.

                 “Just… taking a break.” he replies simply. He’d think there was an emergency but if there was she’d have started with that.

                 “Yeah?” She would put her hand down directly on top of the bottle when she turns to look at him better. “Vodka?” Alex pulls it out and stares at it a minute.

                  “It’s cold. It warms me up.”

                  “It is cold isn’t it.” Alex goes to take a drink of it.

                  “Excuse you.” Luci snatches it away. “Is that your vodka?”

                  “Yes, actually.” Alex replies dryly and tries to take it back. “You took it from MY cupboard.” She manages to wrest it from her brother in law and goes to take a drink.But Luci quickly inserts his hand between the bottle and her mouth.

                   “No, it really isn’t your vodka. Just… put it down.” Luci looks at her sternly. “It’s your bottle, but there’s something else inside.”

                   “Yeah, I figured.” Alex lowers the bottle and turns it over letting the alcohol within pour out. There’s not a whole lot. Raphael never makes a large amount of it anymore. Not after Claire and Krissy and Alex got Harahel drunk off it before Abigail was born. So there’s just enough to buzz a angel but that’s still more than enough to kill a human being. “Not all of us are stupid, Luci.”

            “You’re an interfering little shit, you know that?” Luci glares at her.                

            “How long have you been thinking about this?” Alex demands. “Because I fail to see how you would consider this a very well thought out plan. But I know you better than to think it was just a sudden impulse.”

               “Are you asking as a friend or Raph’s girlfriend?” Luci rolls his eyes.

               “I’m asking as a fucking doctor, because suicidal ideation is a symptom of serious mental illness, “Alex snaps. Luci decides to ignore the fact that she called herself a doctor.

               “I’m not.. this is a practical decision, not an emotion one, Alex. One I have every right to make. And it wouldn’t be forever, just.. for a good while. Long enough for the twins to grow up without my influence. I never should have stayed in the first place. I should have booked it the day they were born like I wanted to.”

             “Sure, why not? It’s not like they love you or anything or that you’ve been a monumental part of Shelly and Abigail’s lives. It’s not like they would have been heart broken, or devested or anything by the abandonment, or become more likely to commit suicide themselves like every other person who’s loved one kills themself does.” Bitchy Alex is back, it seems. “Yeah, no, I mean, who cares about you anyways?”

                “You’d better watch yourself, ‘Annie’. I’m not in the mood to be trifled with.” Luci turns to try and stare her down, but as has become more and more frequent within his family, she isn’t intimidated enough to back off.

                “Why do you think that the twins would be better off? Or are you just justifying your desire to escape your own pain. Not that either is a good reason or a reasonable one for suicide.”

                 “Is this how They taught you to talk to suicidal people in therapist school?” Luci tries to change the subject.

                 “You’re not a suicidal person, you’re a suicidal recovering narcissist who’s narcissistic tendancies are starting to veer towards socially benevolent narcissism. I’m not going to play mind games, or hide how pissed off I am because I know damn well you can see right through me if I tried. And I am angry because this family has been through enough already. We don’t need to have the kind of pain and trauma this will cause in the bargain. Now if you will answer my damn questions maybe I can tell if this is actually due to a malfunction of your nuerological pathways and hormonal imbalances or not. Because if it is, and you kill yourself, then you are going to be destroyed and defeated by your own broken, malfunctioning human body and I will absolutely let everyone know that if you don’t come back home with me and talk to me in a professional sense.”

               “Are you threatening me, little girl?” Luci stands up and looks down at her.

                “Y-yes, but not nearly as badly as you’re threatening yourself.” Alex stands up. “Do you know how many people are going to be hurt by this? How much relationshgip counceling and covert caretaking I am going to have to do? The children, your siblings, the fledgelings, Castiel’s going to have some very mixed feelings about this. Your father… well, obviously I won’t be counseling God, but do you really want to do this to him in the middle of battling the darkness?” She waves a hand up to the sky. Luci just crosses her arms.

                “Are you … Are you actually trying to guilt me into … into doing anything? Is that really the road you’re taking?” Luci gives her an amused smile.

                “No. I’m either pointing out that your feelings of guilt and responsibility are leading you to cause more harm than what you think you’re preventing, or calling you on your bullshit.” Alex stands firm. Luci looks her over.

                “You do know that I can see you trembling.” He smirks.

                 “It’s cold and I accidentally poured that stuff too close and my butt is wet and frickin; freezing.” Alex hugs herself tighter. “Look, your stubborn. I know I can’t stop you if you really want to do this. I can’t convince you of anything, but I can remind you of a few things until something fucking works. Such as all the gross embarrassing things a body does when it dies, that will happen to you and your body and threaten to take pictures.” Alex’s teeth start to chatter. “Or die trying I guess.”

            “So you’ll wait here until one of both of us freezes to death?” Luci challenges.

            “M-m-maybe.” Alex replies.” I… will tell you that I do not envy you trying to explain this to Raphael when they w-wake you up. Es-especially if I freeze first.”

             “You ruthless self destructive little bitch.” Luci can’t help but smile at this though.

             “W-what can I say? I’ve learned from the best. Now please come home before I have t-to call the children over.” Alex chatters.

              “The what?”

              “Just us. The not really yours but your taking care of us anyways children.” Alice comes under the branches with Ben, who’s carrying George. “And an easily distracted hellhound puppy.”

              “You still didn’t answer her question.” Ben holds George closer.

              “Which one? I believe I’ve ignored several.” Is Luci’s glib reply.

              “Why you think Riley and Chris would be better off without you.” He looks at Luci so… pitifully, with a sad expression that’s pure Raphael.

               “Because I’ll ruin them the same way I’m ruining Shelly and Abigail, that’s why.” He bends over and bops his nose. “I’m not your mother, kid. All I do is break things.”

               “There’s nothing wrong with Abigail and I think that whatever’s wrong with Shelly is irrevocably ingrained in the mitochondria of every fiber of her being.” Which is the slickest way Luci’s ever heard of blaming it all on the mother. It’s a little impressive despite the petulant tone of his voice. “The twins are bright, lovably, creative and alot of trouble, but they’re not bad, or ruined. How can you think so little of them and yet be willing to kill yourself for their welfare. It would make more sense that you’re just being selfish and don’t care how it affects everyone else, so long as you don’t have to be there to deal with the aftermath. I really don’t know what else would explain this.” It’s a little irritating to hear him say this as the thought ‘at least I won’t have to see it’ had crossed his mind when thinking about how it might hurt them. Even if he didn’t truly believe it to be for the best.

                   “Look, kid, you don’t know what I am.” Luci tries not to be too harsh. “Whatever perfect little paragon of purity your angelic parent has become, I’m not, and never really was.”

                    “Well, I do know how it feels not to measure up. To not be good enough. But I don’t even want to imagine how bad it feels to know that you’re so inadequate and flawed that your father killed himself rather than see your imminent failure.”

                     “That is not what I said and you know it, young man.” Luci flashes back.

                 “It’s how they’ll see it.  Chris was crying his eyes out already thinking your… little tantrum was theri fault. Maybe you think you can control what people think and how they feel no matter what you do, but you can’t! You can’t just… reason people into being happy or satisfied or believing everything you say, not forever and not for long. Children are not.. status symbols or accessories… you…” Ben just turns and walks off again.

                  “I’ve got this.” Alex stops Alice, with a hand on her shoulder and heads off after him.

                  “You always struck me as more of a homicidal kind of person.” Alice says awkwardly, rubbing her arm.

                   “I know, right? It’s an incredibly peculiar thing to be feeling for me.” Luci rubs the back of his neck. “No one will actually believe this so I guess it doesn’t matter if anyone says anything. Not that I don’t want to murder people, but I am still on probation. Oh, and murder is wrong. It didn’t really help anyways. I just.. I don’t think I hate them anymore. So you think I’m just being selfish or prideful or what have you decided, since everyone has an opinion.”

                   “No, I don’t know. I don’t know you as well. But um, Shelly’s really going to need someone non-judgemental very soon. She’s done something stupid and I don’t think her parents will be as understanding this time.” Alice looks pleadingly at Luci.

                    “What now? She’s taken over hell?” Luci jokes, but Alice just wrinkles her nose.

                “Um, yeah, actually, but she puts a steward on the throne and left it in trust for Abigail. And she also killed Crowley and she’s also pregnant. I think that’s all related since she called the former king of hell a loved one.  She plans to get her own place and support herself by becoming a stripper. Which I was really relieved becaue I thought she was going to say prostitute for some reason. And now she’s telling her father and I don’t think it’s going to go well. “ Alice exclaims.

                  “ She… referred to Crowley as a loved one.” That part wipes the smile from his face.

                  “And she’s pregnant.”

                  “And she’s pregnant.” Luci shakes his head. “Oh, dad, did you hear this? Only the desire to see the look on Sam’s face when she tells him is keeping me from gouging my eyes out at the thought.” Luci covers his eyes, giving a fairly humorless laugh. “Why did I let him live? Why? I can’t… I’d say her mother was never this much trouble, but she absolutely was.  I was just so much more capable of dealing with the fallout. Come on let’s go back and stop her. She really doesn’t know how to break this kind of news. If he throws her out, you two are sharing a room.”

                   “We’re… kind of.. maybe… dating now, though.” Alice confesses. How cute.

                   “I don’t care. She can’t get even more pregnant.” Luci goes after the other two. “Alex, c’mon we have to go rescue a Winchester again. I’m really hoping it’s Shelly.”

                    “What? Whyt?” Alex looks up as they catch up.

                    “Shelly’s pregnant, possibly with Crowley’s child and she’s telling Sam right now.”

                    “No!” Alex covers his mouth.  “Now? Shit! I fucking told Bree we should have… No. No who could have expected this? Seriously.” she goes to take off.

                    “Hold on.” Luci grabs her jacket. “Enlighten us.”

                    “We’re not sure his heart can take it right now.”

                    “Don’t even try to tell me he has heart disease, he’s way too much of a health nut.” Ms. organic, non gmo, pesticide free has the gall to say.

                    “Well, yes and no. It’s a… look, he’s not young, and his life is extremely stressful and he kind of had a heart attack when he found out Shelly had been killed by a demon.” Alex reluctantly confesses. “Not a heart attack heart attack but the takoyaki kind. It wasn’t a bad one, and he should be mostly recovered. But his hatred of Crowley is one of the few things you two have in common. So we need to get back and stop her, or at least make her put it off until we find a good way to break it to him.”

                    “Unless that way involves heavy marijuana unsage I suggest lying about paternity until he dies.” Luci rolls her eyes and follows them back towards the crossroads.

                 “You know, she didn’t actually say that it was Crowley’s baby  outright.” Ben hedges following them back towards the crossroad. “It might not be.”

                  “It was fairly heavily implied. Mostly in the way she didn’t say it. You kind of get used to the way she does these things after a while.” Alice adds, much to her surprise she suddenly steps back between the two guarding angels, bumping into Ben.

                  “Sorry.” He makes sure she doesn’t fall back in and hurries after the adults. 

                  “Daddy? DAD!” They hear Shelly shrieks, and go faster.

                  “Back up,” Luci take hold of her and moves her over to Ben and Alice, as Alex breaks holes in the drywall to undo the wards ensuring the two had privacy. Luci bashes the small wooden toy crib against the wall, takes the thick jagged railing, just as the other archangel’s arrive he drives it straight into Sam’s chest.


	35. Unbelievable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Gabriel talk with their older brothers  
> Ben confides in Harahel

             “So, Shelly’s scarred for life.” Gabriel glares at her unrepentant brother who rolls his eyes. 

             “Yes, I’m sure it would have been far less traumatic watching everyone stand around unable to do anything without condemning every other hunter resurrected since the treaties which both Michael and Raphael would not have let you do had he gotten there first. Anyways I had to. You know I did. You’d have said ‘fuck it’ and and healed him anyways, and if you had Sam would not have appreciated because he’s that kind of self sacrificing idiot. In case you’ve forgotten that I actually helped you create some of those treaties.” Luci rests back on the pile of stuffed animals he was knocked into by said little sister when she shoved him aside to get to and heal her husband before he could die. “Your welcome, by the way.”

              “You didn’t have to cave his entire chest in, you know.”

              “I’m sure I didn’t cave in his entire chest. And how would I know exactly? I’m just human, remember?” Luci reminds his sister, not exactly happy about having to expressly state how much less he is than she is right now. “I think I tore something.” He rubs his arm. He keeps forgetting how much force it takes to break through a human rib cage. “Why aren’t you with one of them by the way?” 

                “Raphael’s looking Sam over because he says I always rush thing and do it half assed like I would with my own husband. As if I have less healing ability then one of the fluffballs.” Gabriel plops down next to him. “Ben and Alice are actually comforting a hysterical Shelly, and Michael went back to be with your children. Alex is back home with Abigail. Letting her know what’s going on. As for you.” Gabriel punches Luci’s uninjured arm.

               “Ow!” 

               “Suicide is a major parole violation, in case you didn’t know.”

               “As if I care.”

               “Look… Luci just don’t okay?” Gabriel rests her head against her big brother’s arm. “If you were feeling depressed you should have said something.”

               “I’m not depressed, so there was nothing to say.”

               “No? You wanted to die because everything was just so wonderful and you’re so happy and full of hope?”

                “Don’t be a smartass, paseh, I’m not in the mood. Why aren’t you with your daughter then, if Raphael kicked you from your husbands side?”

                 “Because not only am I more than a little angry with my wayward daughter right now, but I’m the one with the most experience with the Luci suicide watch. If you recall and for your information, you are exempt from all resurrection limits, because this is your punishment. Having to endure.”

                  “It’s actually not a very terrible punishment. I’m actually enjoying a lot about it.” Luci confesses. “Which in itself is horrifying.”

                  “That’s because it’s not restorative, not punitive. It’s kind of a punishment that becomes less of a punishment the more you reform. You know we love you right? Even the little ones that still hate you love you or they wouldn’t hate you so much.”

                   “There’s not exactly much to admire. I’m doing absolutely nothing and doing my best and still looks what’s happened.”

                   “You arrogant little shit. Do you actually think that you’re so influential that you’re the reason my daughter is insane? I’m sure you had some influence, don’t get me wrong, but you’re not so pervasively unredeemably vile that you can corrupt people while actively trying not to. Anyways she’s not bad, not yet and largely thanks to you being there understanding her. You’d think with less to do you wouldn’t still feel like you had the weight of existence on your shoulders.”

                    “I know. I don’t. I have nothing big enough to weigh me down the way this is. Besides the weight of my own crimes against existences and humanity of course, and I can generally just accept there’s nothing I can do about it. why should I care about any of that anyways?”

                     “Well, death isn’t an option. And I swear if you put me through that again, I will have another child, on purpose this time.” She threatens.

                  “What are you talking about?”

                 “Shelly being pregnant with Crowley’s child.”

                 “W… what… no! No, oh for the love of fuck! That… no wonder he had a fucking heart attack! I never would have had him talk to.. oh that… that useless brat!| Gabriel bolts up. “You asshole! You know you knew… Alex!” She snaps them both back to Alex’s apartment. “Watch this. I have to kill your husband.” She vanishes again.

                  “Honey, I need to talk with your uncle alone. Will you be alright?” Alex looks over to Abigail. The look her daughter gives her is pure sass, clearly reminding her mother that she is thirteen, not three. “Right.” Alex rolls her eyes and leads Luci to her office, across from the guest room.

 

                “Drink this.” Raphael hands Sam a cup of tea. Sam takes it, making sure not to spill it. He kind of laughed when Gabriel insisted on his getting this adjustable memory foam bed, but right now it feels like heaven.

                “What is it?” He asks after wincing at the taste.

                “Something to help you relax. Do you remember what happened?”

                “I was talking with my daughter when your brother comes in and stabbed me in the chest. Of course that could have just been a symbolic nightmare. I’m not sure. It’s all a little blurred.”

                 “Close.” Raphael says, sitting down on the bed beside him. “You had another heart attack.”

                  “I… wait what do you mean ‘another’ heart attack?” Sam’s question makes Raphael pause.

                  “You had a mild episode of takotsubo cardiomyopathy when we received Abigail’s papers. I thought your wife spoke to you about it.”

                  “No.” Sam frowns. “I did wonder why she was being so gentle with me. Not that she isn’t, but… I thought it was just stress or anxiety, not a heart attack.”

                 “It was. But stress and anxiety have real physical consequences. You’re not a young man and while you’re under nowhere near as much stress as you once were, we’re also not allowed to heal such naturally occurring events for you anymore. Which is why you feel so exhausted. Gabriel actually kept some of her wits about her and confined her healing to the immediate area as she was supposed to, since Azrael will absolutely be splitting hairs about this. But the rest of you is still affected by event.”

                   “I’m sorry, I .. what?” Sam frowns as Raphael pours his a cup of tea.

                   “Helel did, in fact stab you in the chest, right through the chest cavity into the heart. Being impossible to tell what damage to the heart and tendons was because of that or because of the prior emotional strain, we could there for heal the entire thing.” Raphael gently cools it and hands the warm mug to his brother in law. It was a major event this time. And coming so soon after the last, it’s very likely it would have killed you. To be honest it’s impossible for a human being to differentiate between takotsubo cardiomyopathy and and myocardial infarction without many medical tests.” Sam just stares at the warm steaming mug in his hands.

                    “So what you’re saying, is that by stabbing me, he probably saved my life.” He says slowly. Raphael gives a brief nod. “So I should feel grateful for that. And probably even thank him.”

                     “I wouldn’t. Drink your tea.” Raphael intructs firmly. Sam does

                    “Raph!” Gabriel appears looking angry, but is silenced after the first syllable.

                    “Not now.” Raphael says calmly, snapping her away. It’s only a second before her angry voice fills his head, making him wince. “I’ll be right back. Have one more cup when that one’s finished.” He places a comforting hand on his brother in law’s shoulder and disappears.

                     “Sam. “Dean rushes into the room the second Raphael and his wards, are gone. “Are you alright? What happened?” He climbs up onto the bed.  Sam can’t help but smile.

                     “I see what hasn’t happened yet.” He hides his grin behind drinking his tea.

                     “Yeah, they’re being real assholes about this.” Dean crosses his arms.

                     “Maybe, or maybe Cas just wants to have an extra 55 years with you, or as many as he can get, and you won’t stop hunting despite being an old man.” Sam reminds him as he always does.

                     “Look at me, Sam, I’m fucking three. I don’t care how many more years it give me I am not going for twelve years without sex drugs or alcohol.” He points angrily at his brother, who twitches back a smile.

                     “Well, there are always pedophiles. Pretty sure they’d provide you with all three.” 

                     “Dude, not funny.” Dean glares at him.

                     “Wait you mean eighteen years, right? Or at least fifteen, which would be pushing it, by the way.”

                      “Sure, whatever.” Dean rolls his eyes and looks away. “Man, I was sure if one of us was going to have a heart attack, it wouldn’t be Mr. Jogging Health Food Nut.”  He leans back on his hands.

                       “It was takotsubo cardiomyopathy not a myochardial infarction.” Sam informs his brother who just looks at him. “Stress, not poor physical health.” He clarifies.

                       “What, both of them?”

                       “Apparently… wait you knew about the first one?” 

                       “Christ, and here I thought it was your wife who’d be the death of you, not your daughter. “Dean goes to take a lask form his little jacket only to realize he doesn’t have it and no one would let him have it now anyways.

                       “Hey.” Sam frowns not quite sounding angry, but definitely not happy. “Don’t you ever say that again. Especially not where Michelle can hear you understand?” 

                 “Yeah, Sam.” Dean’s solemn tone reassures his brother that he does in fact understand. “So, is there a reason you’re not in a hospital right now?”

                  “Because we have the archangel of healing instead?” Sam replies.

                  “The majority of his heart is in fact in perfect working order and the difference between the ones that are restored and the ones that aren’t would raise annoying questions. All he needs is a little rest and be around his loved ones. Prefferably without more heart shattering ill delivered news.”                 

             “Perfect working order? He had a fucking heart attack!” 

             “Lucifer saved me.” Sam informs his brother casually, Little Dean just stares at him. 

              “Get out of here.” 

              “Forgive me my absence, your wife has decided to express her concern for you by being a hypocritcal asshole. She was supposed to talk to you about your heart, but apparently she had not. How are you feeling?

            “Surprisingly relaxed.” Samn confesses and leans over to pour himself his second cup. “Especially given you just told me that being stabbed in the chest by Lucifer with a large wooden rod was not only not a stress induced nightmare but actually saved my life.”  

             “HE WHAT?!” Dean gets quidkly to his feet, but forgets he’s several feet shorter and ends up falling on the floor.   Sam just laughs and takes a drink of tea. “Why are you laughing?”

              “Because you fell off the bed?” Sam lays back, almost spilling the tea. “Whoops.” He drinks it down.

             “Maybe one was enough.” Raphael frowns slightly.  “But he should be ready for visitors. Calm and quiet visitors.” He gives Dean a stern look. “Sam, do you remember what you and your daughter were discussing?”

               “Ahh, yes, that she made a deal with Crowley to ensure Abigail and her soul were safe from any and all demon dealings and that as a result she is now pregnant.” It’s remarkably how calm he says this, and even more strange that he starts to snicker at this. “But that makes no sense because he’s not that stupid. Honestly the thought that my baby girls and Crowley…” He covers his eyes still laughing. “Not even Death could save him from me if he ever laid a hand on her, so obviously I misunderstood something somewhere. Isn’t that just… hillarious?”

              “No, Sam. Not even a little bit.”

              “It is not his baby. There is no demonic energy involved in it’s making and neither is it the child of the vessel he is in.” Raphael adds. “I know she would not have told you it was.”

               “No, she specifically did not say it was his. Which implied very heavily that it was. Why else would she dance around it so much?”

              “I believe that would be the ‘make-it-sound-like-something-worse-than-it-is-so-they’ll-be-relieved-instead-of-angry-when-you-tell-them’ technique and not the ‘downplaying-it-so-it-doesn’t-sound-as-bad-as-it-really-is’ technique like you thought.” Dean brushes his knees off. “Dude, don’t you ever dust?”

               “You know what? I don’t want to know. I don’t care who the father is. I don’t want to know who ro what he was. And he’d better hope I never find out. Can I have some more tea?”

                “No.” Raphael takes the pot away. “You can have three cups a day. One at breakfast, one at lunch, one at dinner, and an extra one is allowed during stressful events. I will go give your wife some very explicit instructions that I will share with you later, once you’ve rested and I’ve adjusted the potency of the tea. Dean, he will be fine.” Raphael gives Dean’s head a little pat much to Sam’s amusement.

                “He’s completely and utterly stoned, isn’t he?” Dean sighs.

                “Yes.” Raphael replies and vanishes, pot in hand.

 

                 “Ben. There you are.” Harahel finally catches up to the young man as he sits on the hill atop the bunker. Ben doesn’t answer, he just stares out at the trees in the distance.

                  “I want to go home.” He says quietly. “Please take me home.”

                  “Your mother said you have to stay here.” Hara says, gently sitting down beside him, enfolding his arms around the boy. “I know this place is strange and chaotic,but it’s only temporary.”

                   “Is it?” Ben asks, not looking up. “They never said anything about having me come home, how long it would be. I don’t think they even miss me.”

                    “Of course they miss you, Ben. And you know they love you.”

                    “I thought they probably did, but look at how my mother’s counterpart is with her children. And Shelly is so confident in her father’s unconditional love and support that she’s not afraid of doing absolutely anything. None of them feel the way I do. None of them were told not to come home.”

                      “Yes.” Hara corrects him. “Not to come home yet. For your safety, Ben.”

                     “Is it? I know everything is supposed to be for my safety or for my own good but none of these parents do anything like that to their children. Even after things like all of this. But my mother is better, more righteous, than this one. I.. I’m afraid to see how dad compares. I almost hope this one is better, but if he’s not, then it’s me.”

                      “What is?”

                      “The problem. It must be me.”

                      “It isn’t.” Harahel sighs. “Your mother..,.she’s not perfect. She’s good, but she’s not perfect. The same with your father. One thing I always used to admire about Helel was how confident she was, how beautiful and bright and brave. I never felt good enough even just with my other brothers. I was small and dim and clumsy. I almost killed one of my brother’s in a training exercise. And that was because he protected another at my siblings who I would have killed. I was so horrified I threw my blade into the ocean.”

                       “And my mother forgave you and saved you from punishment and created the library for you.” Ben finishes glumly, he’s the story before. “And she always had a kind word for you, and made you feel loved and appreciated. Just like Nathaniel your cherished one.”

                        “Yes. But that’s… I never wanted to speak ill of her to you, when she’d given her life for you. She didn’t deserve that. So I ended up giving you a sanitized version of things. The truth is that I felt blessed and honored not loved. I didn’t feel so much appreciated as much as I felt as if I was being thrown a bone. While her words were often kindness, the real kindness was that she spoke to me at all. I was unworthy and less and fortunate for any attention given to me. And do you know why i thought this?” Harahel asks gently. Ben shakes his head. “Because they did.” 

                    “What? No, I’m sure she..”

                    “Hush.” Hara gently covers Ben’s mouth for a moment. “I’m not stupid; I always knew. But I thought they were right, and though I was often neglected and alone, each little thing, word or smile was like a feast. I loved them both so much. So desperately I would have done anything for them. And I did. i put everything I had into pleasing them both and making them happy and my entire existence revolved around them, centered in a library I never left. I found an excuse for every flaw, every questionable act or remark. And then, when the darkness came, she supressed and buried my heart.”

                     “Mother saved you.”

                     “Yes and no. You see without my heart I lost everything distracting me from my misery. Without my love for others, I lost all reason for excusing things I shouldn’t. I saw that If I was loved and cared for at all, it was the way you would love and care for a potted plant, or and a garage door. That the behavior I’d excused or explained away or ignored was wrong and showed how flawed and broken they themselves were as well and I grew angry. I’d been putting everything I had into pleasing angels who’d done almost nothing but show up and condescend to me and take and take and I blamed myself for it.  

                      “In a way maybe I was right. Maybe I was partly to blame for it. All I did was give and give and asked for nothing, which I got. So I was done. I was done doing anything for anyone. If I was so flawed and useless and unimportant as they made me feel, then my love and assistance wouldn’t be missed at all. If I wasn’t then they didn’t deserve to have them. So I refused to give anymore unless I had to for my own sake. I refused to hold my tongue or believe what I was told, or do what I was told and I hated them.

                   “You know the rest, that she never gave up on me and reached out in genuine love and kindness and regret, but more than that she apologized to me. She absolutely didn’t have to. She didn’t need me at all. There were a million and forgave me for  every harsh word or selfish action. I still didn’t believe it to be anything except her own ego refusing to let a brother stay fallen.

                   “She even went so far as to name me your godfather and guardian angel, which I had not intention of doing, an only believed to be posturing empty gesture. And then she died and I saw your name. I freed myself and broke it off at the same time.” He gives Ben a squeeze. “Ben, just because a person’s way of expression of love is flawed, doesn’t mean it isn’t real, but it doesn’t mean you’re undeserving of better, either. You are not the problem, Ben. But the fact that you think you are is.”


	36. Brothers And Other Nightmares Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mirror-Michael reaches out to Raphael  
> Harahel tries to talk to Helel about Ben

             “Are you alright?” Michael finally gets up the nerve to speak to his little brother as they stand guard before the portal into purgatory.

            “Yes.” Comes the eventual reply and nothing else. He should say something to Raphael, but he doesn’t know what. Should he apologize? Should he extend forgiveness? Does Raphael even want it? Will anything ever be enough? Michael just stands in silence for what feels like an eternity.

              They shouldn’t be talking while standing guard any how. You need to be alert, pay attention to your surroundings. He’s told all of them this often enough. But when would he get another chance like this? Not only is he forced to stay, but Raphael is as well. Besides, seeing as he can’t seem to keep from being distracted with this, it’s just responsible to clear the air so he can focus better. It’s for a higher cause.

                “I never blamed you.” Is what he says. Raphael didn’t reply. “Not for anything. I didn’t.”

                “It wasn’t Gabriel’s fault. She didn’t lead me astray. I made conscious choices over and over. To compromise myself for the greater good, to choose a lesser evil to keep the peace, to abandon heaven. And maybe I wasn’t in my right mind, but when I think of the position I was in and the choices I had before me, I can’t think of how I could have acted differently. Or that I would have. Maybe the fact that I had the choice to make wasn’t my fault but I made it. You can’t just pretend that’s not true. And you can’t forgive me for a crime you won’t admit I was responsible for.” Raphael looks away.

                   “I can still love and care about you, can’t I?” Michael replies a bit testily. Raphael gives a sigh.

                   “If loving me means you hate my wife and blame her for all my crimes, no you can’t.” Raphael informs him. “I’m not throwing her under the bus for the illusion of redemption.”

                   “I’m not asking you to. I’m offering you my love and forgiveness and my own apology as well. I’m not free of transgressions either, in case you’ve forgotten.”

                    “I haven’t.”

                    “And I don’t hate Gabriel because of…” Michael stops not really able to finish as he can’t help but feel that would be dangerously close to a complete and utter lie, and not just an interpretation of the truth. Neither of which he’s very good at. “I don’t hate her because she took you from me anymore. Or because she corrupted you because she didn’t. Because I don’t hate her anymore. And not because I don’t hold her responsible for any of it either, because I do. I just don’t.” He knows that’s not enough but he doesn’t really understand it either. A few dreams some old memories don’t change anything, don’t erase anything she did and they never will.  “I want my baby brother back. I know I don’t deserve anything from anyone after what I did, but if there’s any way I can make things right between us.”  Raphael just looks angry at this for some reason. Again, Michael doesn’t know why. 

                     “If you still want things to be right between us after you and Helel have reconciled, you can talk to me then. But for now there’s nothing more for us to say to each other.” Raphael alters his wavelength just enough to close himself off completely. Michael didn’t even notice he had opened up, and now whatever it was he said to him, made him draw  inside himself again. 

                      “Wait, what did you say?” Michael asks, turning to look at his brother as he realizes what he just implied. 

                   “You heard me. The two of you are closer to each other than anyone else. Don’t pretend the only reason you’re speaking to me first isn’t because you don’t think Helel will forgive you.”

                    “No, it’s…” Michael stops himself before he informs him that it’s because he’s the first one he had the chance to talk to, but that doesn’t sound right, either. 

                     “It’s alright. Gabriel and I knew it from the beginning. You and Helel were

made for each other. If you had souls you’d be soul mates. Gabriel and I were simply afterthoughts, made to be your punching bags. I was Helel’s, Gabriel was yours. Maybe you loved me and he loved Gabriel but never as much as you loved each other. We never meant even close to that much to either of you.”

                      “How can you say that?” It makes Michael’s heart hurt to hear his little brother talk like that, but he doesn’t know what to say. He never knows what to say. Not like Helel. 

                    “Because if either of you loved us even half as much as you loved each other you never would have let the other treat us the way you did. There’s nothing more to say. I am sorry that I hurt you and nothing I’ve done has haunted me more than what I did to you, but it’s been a long time since we’ve had a place in each other’s lives. And I can’t think of anything you could do that would ever change that. I’m sorry.” It’s the apology that gives it that heartbreaking sense of finality. 

                    “Understood.” Michael looks away. In all honesty, he should never have expected anything else.

 

                    “I need to have a word with you.” Bree looks up from the coffin shaped float to see Harahel standing on the edge of the pool.

                    “Your back I see. Not sure what Helel’s faithful hound could possibly want with me but speak away. I promise I’ll pretend to listen.” Bree crosses her heart and covers her eyes with her arm.

                     “It’s about Ben.” He sits down on the concrete. “He’s not doing well.”

                     “No? Are they being ashholes to him or something?” She doesn’t seem to be taking this too seriously.

                      “His sister is, but mostly their strong and loving family structure is making him feel either worthless or unloved, he’s not sure which. Well, that’s not fair, it’s not because of them. He’s been increasingly stressed and distant for a long time. After his birthday it got worse. I think it’s finally come out and it’s not exactly something I can help him with. But Abigail’s mother is a therapist, a good one for the supernatural community she even took care of Michael when he was brought out of the cage in their thread, and he seems relatively sane.

                       “Really? Do you think they have a thing going on? Or could have a thing going on?” Harahel doesn’t like the thoughtful look on her face.

                “If I say yes, will you return your focus to your nephew where it belongs?”:

                 “Why are you talking to me? Go talk to Helel. I’m already in enough trouble and I’m out all my black teddies besides. Did you find out who was the little freak who stole them and lured Ben into purgatory?”

                 “Yes. It’s Abigail.” Harahel informs him and waits for a realization that never comes.

                 “Am I supposed to know that name?”

                 “Huh.” Bree looks over at him. “Well, I guess that explains that. But it still doesn’t explain what Helel’s little lackey wants with me.” Bree splashes Hara with her foot.

                  “I want you to convince Helel to let Ben get therapy. I can’t do it. She doesn’t.. she doesn’t really listen to what I have to say, trying to bring up Ben just makes her angry.” Harahel sighs.

                   “I’ll tell you what.” Bree breaks into a grin, “You go talk to her first and when you fail miserably, I’ll give it a shot.” Bree gives a magnanimous wave of the hand.

                   “I fail to understand how humiliating me and making me go even further from our siblings good graces will help Ben.”Hara crosses his arms.

                    “Well, I don’t care what you do or do not understand.” Bree replies coldly. “That’s my price, take it or leave it.” Hara doesn’t give a reply but he doesn’t say no and he doesn’t leave. “Look, I love my nephew, I wouldn’t ask you to do anything that would possibly hurt him. You know that.”

                    “Fine. But if you don’t come through on this, I’m telling your husband.” Harahel vanishes and heads to the library. He’ll work a little bit and relax among the stacks. That was one of the things he missed when he was taking care of Helel. His library.

               “Where have you been?” Nathaniel rushes over and embraces him. “I’ve been worried sick and Helel’s been looking for you for the last, well, longer than he has had to search for anyone but Gabriel. Are you alright? Did something happen?” Nathaniel checks him for injury.

               “I’m alright. I’m sorry to worry you, I was checking in on Ben. I wasn’t really ready to come back yet either, but it is important.” Hara apologizes and gives Nathaniel a hug.

               “You saw… you want.. is he back? He’s not supposed to… tell me after you see Helel. He’s not in a good mood. Not that he has been very much except when talking about Ben or thinking about Ben’s father. I still can’t believe Helel Ben Sahar of all angels fell for a human.”

                “Sam is a wonderful man, Nathaniel.”Harahel uses that tone that means it’s better for Nathaniel not to press it. Sometimes he misses the old Harahel who never argued or disagreed with him, at least not for more than a second. “Do you know where Helel is?”

                “I… I’m not sure. Possibly in his quarters if we can’t see his presence here. I’d wait until he comes out. Send him a prayer to let him know you’re here maybe?” 

           “No. I’d rather do this in private. “Harahel takes a breath and head’s to the archangel wing. And he’s supposed to go and imply that Helel Ben Sahar is lacking as a mother? 

          There’s not amount of time that could let him get prepared for that, better to get it over with. It’s not as if Helel would listen to his request to talk in private if he asked. But lesser angels aren’t allowed inside without permission. Can they even enter? It doesn’t matter. It’s for Ben. Harahel takes a breath and steps through the arch way.

           “He’s half suprised when he’s not reduced to ash on the spot or turned to stone or something. Everyone speculated when Gabriel added ‘or else’ to the instructions never to enter. As time went on the speculation of what that ‘else’ might be grew more and more terrifying. But there’s nothing. It would be just like the nightingale’s sense of humor to terrify everyone with a bluff. The first two rooms are empty and not Helel’s style at all.

             Helel is in the next one, examining her thigh under his robes. HIs light is almost gone in the area as if there’s a dark cloud growing inside it, though the edges shine brighter than anything, as always the sight of their brother in all his glory, is dazzling, awe inspiring, so incredibly beautiful that at the first sight it’s as if every thought in his head is fleeing before it. He has no idea how to introduce himself. Of course it’s not an issue, as Helel clearly knows he’s here before Harahel has time to gather himself.

             “What are you doing?” Helel demands, then looks briefly frightened. “Is it Ben? Has something happened?” Helel grabs Hara’s arm.

             “N-no. Not.. he.. I’m not sure how to answer that.” Hara stumbles over his words.

             “Has he been injured beyond the capability of being healed?” Helel starts to sound annoyed.

             “Not physically no.”

             “Was he injured at all? Was there a spell cast on him mind of body? Has he been kidnapped?”

              “No. He’s where he should be, there was no spell and he did get injured, previously, but I healed him and there were no lasting effects.”

               “How what happened? And what do you mean you hated him? Is he here? He’s supposed to be with the good Raphael. What happened? What injured him are they still alive?”

                “I… it was just an accident. And I mean I healed him because I was there checking on him, because his older sister’s friend talked to Sam asking me to come. He’s been having an emotionally difficult time and…”

                “And for that you decide to violate the sanctity of my chambers? “Helel’s anger doesn’t even partly subside and his misty wings start to crystalize. “Who do you think you are?”

                “I think I’m the only angel who knows more about what’s going on, with your son than you do.” Hara blurts out. The silence is even more terrifying.

                “What did you just say to me?” Helel’s tone is soft and slow and sweet and Harahel has never been more afraid of anything in his life. But this is for Ben.

                “I’m Ben’s Guardian Angel. Do you think I would be here talking to you if it weren’t important?” He forces himself to speak.

                 “I think you don’t understand the job of a guardian angel. You job is to keep him safe and unharmed. Not to try to take my place as his mother. Now get out of here. Go back to your library. I’ll reassign someone more competent to protect him.” Helel turns her back on her brother. Did she even hear what he said?  Was she even listening.

                “No.”

                “Excuse me?” Helel looks back at his tiny furious brother.

                “You heard me. I said no. You can fire me kill me imprison me do anything you like to me, but I am not willingly leaving here until you listen to what I’m trying to tell you.”

                “What right do you have to tell me anything?”

                “What right do you have to demand some sort of qualification or pedigree from someone who’s trying to help your son? What kind of arrogant prideful bastard would consider that the important thing?”

                 “Oh, good, I thought perhaps you’d forgotten that little fact.” Helel’s cool reply confuses Harahel.

                 “What fact?”

                 “That I’m Ben’s mother, I am, Ben is MY son NOT yours!”

                 “NO SHIT! That’s why I’m coming to you instead of getting him help myself. No one is the least confused about that. NO ONE But I wish he was my son because then maybe he’d actually care that I love him and accept him and think he is just fine instead of hating himself and agonizing over not being good enough for you. He thinks that he’s some flawed imperfect unacceptable disappointment of a failure and that’s not okay! He shouldn’t feel that way because he’s a perfect loving generous intelligent dependable trustworthy young man. And you shouldn’t be okay with that either.” Harahel finishes. He closes his eyes, just waiting for his sibling to strike him or punish him in some way. But it’s also partly to try and keep the tears at bay. He’s angry. He shouldn’t be crying, but he is.

                 All the hurt and pain he’s tried so hard to keep inside for Ben’s sake won’t stay held back anymore. He tried so hard from the day Ben was born to make sure he knew who his mother was. Her intelligence, her beauty, her power, her strength. Even her compassion though he knew by then that most of it was a facade. That the only person Helel truly cared about saving was Gabriel. That every soul he brought back to the light was just… practice. He told Ben stories of Helel Ben Sahar, her greatest triumphs, her softest kindest moments. Never anything bad because she deserved his love more than anyone.

                And then she came back and was finally part of Ben’s life again. Whenever she was around it was like Harahel didn’t even exist. Which was how it should be, but it still hurt. And what was even worse was that no matter how hard he tried, how much he pushed himself to be the same sweet trusting giving worshipful little brother, Helel tried so hard to bring back, but he just wasn’t. His heart came back, but the hurt and anger never went away. He could never push that knowing back into the depths of his mind and pretend that he didn’t notice the patronizing pitying, condescension thrown his way.

               After being treated so well by Helel, being so genuinely loved by Ben, he could never be satisfied with the crumbs thrown to him by his siblings.He couldn’t stop seeing it. Some of them didn’t even pretend kindness when they found out they just openly said it, that he wasn’t fi to be any one’s guardian angel, much less the guardian of the son of heaven’s shining star. Maybe they were right. Maybe it was his failures and shortcomings that led to Ben feeling the way he does. He’s the one who’s been there the most. How else could Ben feel so very much the same way Hara often does?

              “I’m sorry.” Hara gathers his pearly tears from the floor. “You’re right. I overstepped my bounds and I failed to keep your son from harm.”

              “It’s not your fault.” Helel’s voice is kind again, even loving, but not the right kinds. “I asked too much of you. Go back to your library and dedicate yourself to what you do best. Ben will be well taken care of. I promise.”

                “Yes, sir.” Hara replies quietly. “Can… can I say goodbye at least? He’ll worry if I just disappear.”

               “Very well, while you are there, ask Raphael’s wife if she would be willing to take Ben on as a patient.” Helel walks over to her desk. “When we find a way to limit access through the portal we should be able to do the same with a passage between threads. Have you one. In case she needs parental consent.” Helel rolls up the parchment, and pauses and takes another scroll from his desk. “This is for Ben, seeing as he’s not speaking to me, it’s the only way I can speak to him.” Helel hands them to Harahel who just shoves his tears in his pocket and takes the scroll.

                 “Yes, sir.”

                 “And Harahel?” Helel puts a hand to her brother’s cheek. “Take some time to compose yourself before you speak to him. If you’re upset, he’ll be upset.”

                  “Yes, sir.”


	37. Brother's and other Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly tries to be a good big sister  
> Alex rats out Luci to Raphael  
> Luci and Raphael take and interest in Ben's Harahel

           As expected, Ben’s not sleeping well. He’s tossing and turning and sure enough he ends up waking in terror, calling out for his father.

           “Shhh,” Shelly takes hold of him, hugging him tightly to her. “It’s okay, Dad’s okay. He’s okay.” She rocks him a little as he just holds tightly onto her, trying not to cry. “It’s okay.”

          “Her eyes… oh Grandpa, her eyes…” He’s probably referring to the look of intensely joyful satisfaction Uncle Helel had at that moment, the one that features prominently in her nightmares as well.

           “It’s alright. It’s alright, Ben.“ She soothes him. “Shhh…. he’s alright.” It takes a few bars of gently hummed lullabye before Ben’s calmed down enough to realize he’s crying into Shelly’s shoulder, being comforted in Shelly’s arms and what’s worse, that it’s actually comforting and reassuring. Though he breaks away anyways.

           “What are you doing here?” He asks, unable to sound as irritated and resentful as he intends to.

           “I couldn’t sleep.” She lies, She’d actually given up on sleeping after the last nightmare where it was her underneath her uncle’s knife. “I have a lot to think about, regarding today especially, but of course you’re just a little kid, so I figured you’d be having nightmares.” she tweaks his nose.

           “I’m thirteen.” He corrects her irritably and hugs his arms to himself.

           “I know. It’s, um, it’s easy to ignore how much they hate each other most of the time. To just not think about everything that happened between them. They behave themselves so well for my and my mother’s sake and I can just reduce it to ‘they don’t get along’. I figured it must be worse for you, who grew up with them loving each other. Hell you’re proof of that.” She nudges his arm. “So… yeah…”

           “Oh.”

           “Plus, I’m avoiding my mother.” Shelly adds. “Hey, I’m… I’m sorry if I’ve been kind of a bitch to you.”

           “You really have been.” Ben wipes his eyes and nose on his nightgown collar.

           “And you’re a sarcastic little bastard.”

           “Because you were being a bitch for no good reason.” He retorts.

           “Yeah, well as I said, I’m sorry, so shut up. Are you okay now?”

           “Yes, thank you. It’s...it’s usually Hara who comforts me in my dreams.”

           “Oh, well, where is he then? Your angel’s slacking.” Shelly looks around.

            “He went back home. He had to talk to my mother about something.” Ben doesn’t quite feel like confiding in her. He doesn’t fully trust this change of heart. “Are you alright? How are you feeling?” He gestures to her stomach.

             “Fine. A little tired, a little hyper, a little terrified of my mother, a little terrified of motherhood in general, even more afraid of killing my father with a new found deep fear of my uncle. Is Abigail still mad at me?” Shelly averts the conversation. But he doesn’t want to talk about this afternoon either, so he lets it go.

              “I don’t know. She’s been with Tris and I don’t want to burden her right now. They haven’t had much luck in turning her back yet. I don’t think it’s going to happen.”

               “Why not? It’s practically routine now. Well, if you even get the blood before they eat, but still.”

               “They used the blood of every member of the nest to turn her including some saved blood from a member Adhira had already killed and burned.” Ben explains. 

               “Oh no,” Shelly covers her mouth. Abigail will be devastated at this if they have to kill Tris. That girl’s one of her first non-related friends. “I need to do something.”

                “No.” Ben grabs her wrists as she goes to move. “You need to stop doing things. You have a baby growing inside you, Michelle. One I assume you want, and you need to think about him or her.”

                “Him.” She nods. “And I know that.”

                “Then stop and think a little. Don’t just act on whatever thought comes into your head. Even if you survive whatever it is you do there could be lasting consequences for that child inside of you. Do you understand that? You have to put him first.” 

                “Relax, Snowball.” She leans over and kisses his forehead. “I meant talking to her, arranging combat training and letting her know where to go and who to go to when she goes to purgatory. If he does, I’m crazy not stupid.”

                “That’s not reassuring.” He replies cooly.

                “Well, I’m going down anyways.” Shelly takes her wrists back and blows him a kiss as she gets up and leaves.

                 “Oh for the love of all that is.” Ben gets out of bed and runs after her to the basement.

 

                 “What was that?” Luci comes out of the bedroom door a disheveled mess. Rapahel ignores him and just goes back to prepping food. “Hey… Raph.” He pokes his little brother’s arm. “I know you know I’m here. C’mon talk to me. I know I slept with your wife, but that’s no reason to be mad.”

                  “I’m not mad. You two have my blessings. I’ll file the fake divorce papers this afternoon.” The smart ass is strong with this one.

                  “I promise you, I’ll make her happy.” Luci pats his brother’s shoulder. “For a few hours at least.”

                  “If you need help just look at the dog eared corners on the book in the nightstand. Upping the ante is he?

                  “Will do.” Luci turns back to the bedroom. if the book actually exists, it’ll provide ample teasing fodder for later. Raphael grabs the back of his collar. “Yes?” Luc turns back with a tired grin.

                  “You’ll need these.” He hands Luci a melon scooper, three pearl onions, and a swizzle stick. Of course this is too much and Luci starts to laugh silently to himself. “I win.”

                  “Of course you did.” Luci says in a patronizing tone heavily implying the the victory was given to him, and goes around the island to take a seat.

                  “You should go back to bed. You’re so punchy I could have sworn I was talking to Gabriel for a minute there.” Raphael turns back to the counter. “Though, please don’t joke about my wife that way.

                  “So what do you use the melon baller for?”

                  “For making melon balls. Don’t throw the onions, I need those.” Raphael catches the first one and takes back the other two as well. “ You don’t happen to know what happened to my drink do you?” He asks what must be a rhetorical question. So much for his wife’s promise of patient confidentiality.

               “Your wife poured it out in the snow. Where’s the coffee? If i don’t get any with in the next ten minutes I’m going to crash like nobody’s fucking business and that won’t mean falling asleep.” His brother relents and snaps him a cup. “Thanks.”

               “So, why are you here and not across the hall?”

              “I’m sleeping with your wife, remember?” Luci takes a sip, ahhh, coffee, even the smell of it makes him feel better. “What are you doing here? Do’t you have a divorce to file?”

            “Did I miss something?” Luci looks over to see Alex in the hall, holding the blankets he drug halfway down the hall with him before discarding.

             “Yes, my brother is unable to let go of an inappropriate joke from earlier.”

             “I suppose his suicidal tendencies manifest themselves in bad jokes then.” Alex grumbles. “You didn’t have to take all the covers with you if you were just going to let them fall off in the middle of the hallway.”

             “No. I didn’t.”

             “I also don’t have to keep confidence anything not said in a session to an actual patient, so, Raph, your brother took your super liquor and went into the abyss to drink it.”

             “Luci, you know that mix is far too strong for unprepared untrained human beings.” Raphael frowns at him.

             “That petty little brat.” Luci stares in astonishment at the retreating figure wrapped in the blanket. “Did she really just tattle on me because I stole the blankets? You two have been married way too long.” Luci looks down as Raphael places his hand on his big brother’s forearm.

              “Why is it I always choose to respect people’s privacy at the wrong times?” Raphael sighs as he feels the deep underlying current of depression his brother is trying hard to deny even exists.

               “You do everything at the wrong time, Raph.”

               “Helel, you know  you can talk to me. What can you say that’s worse or more humiliating than what I already know?” Of course reminding Luci of this face is just irritating.

               “Raph, you know I’m nothing but a burden and an inconvenience to everyone, at best.”

               “And?” Raphael’s dry reply elicits an irritated look from his brother.. “If you’re looking for some ego stroking, you’ve come to the wrong angel.”

               “I didn’t come to you, you ambushed me. And I’m tired of being nothing, I know what I am, I don’t need you to tell me I’m something I’m not or gloss over my shortcoming just to make me feel better.” Luci immediately drains the coffee and thumps it on the countertop.

                “Just who exactly do you think you are having this conversation with.” Raphael snaps it full. again.

                “Oh don’t give me that, Raph. You haven’t given me a dressing down or called me on my shit in years.”

                 “Now I know you’re clinically insane. I yelled at you fust last week for eating all the leftovers I set aside for the children’s school lunches.” Raphael turns back to the food. “And in regards to your attitude about  the orchestra before that.”

                  “You know what I’m talking about.”

                 “I clearly do not.”

                 “Raph, I refuse to believe that you haven’t noticed what an absolute fraud I am. Look at me, This isn’t me. This isn’t my life. This isn’t even who I am. But pretending is just hurting everyone I care about when it’s them I’m actually doing it for in the first place. What’s worse is that it actually matters to me. Alot. More than my own discomfort. What’s next? Am I going to start caring about random people on the street? I’m biting my tongue, being patient, trying to interact with others pleasantly and for their own benefit even though I don’t always feel like it, and have somehow stopped wanting to literally murder everyone who piss me off and only figuratively want to. And if this is it, this is where I’m supposed to be… It’s… I can’t do it. Everything feels like a weight on my shoulder, everything is pointless and all I can see is where I’ve made mistakes and hurt my loved ones and this is when I’m trying my hardest to… to get better whatever that even means. Get better for what? Seven Days worth of punishment and hatred? I can’t even do right, when I try. How am I supposed to make up for anything I’ve done?”

                    “It’s called growing up, Helel.” Raphael replies, somewhat gently, “And it’s not as if your history of  evil doing wasn’t riddles with failure, hatred, and dissatisfaction. You were miserable, in constant pain, just suffering and making everyone else suffer with you. Not that it helped you any. Not to mention the level of wrong you were have yet to be surpassed by any creature alive, and likely never will be. How could anything now possibly compare to the awfulness of any of that by any measure?”

                    “It doesn’t.” Luci snaps, “And yet somehow it does. I can’t explain it to you any better than that  because I don’t understand myself. And that’s even more frustrating and annoying and makes an extended nap in the abyss look better and better. Who knows Maybe I’d get Lucky and not wake up at all. “Luci sighs resting his head on the island. Dad only know that he used that against other, manipulating their emotions and weaknesses until it drowned out their reason. But he never really understood why it worked or how exactly, just that it did.  “Anyway I can’t go back home right now. I just… I can’t.”

                 “Yes, you can. But until you feel you can, you’re welcome to stay here. I’ll find you a bed.” Raphael states firmly.

                 “No thank you. I’ll use the orchestra’s suite at the regent.”

                 “No you won’t. I’m not letting you be alone again until you’re much more stable.” Raphael corrects him. “How does the orchestra have a suite at the regent?”

                  “I convinced one of our sponsors to ‘donate’ their permanently reserved suite at the regent to the orchestra for our visiting guests for the tax write off. And of course of oru valued employees to provide additional perks that we can’t afford monetarily. It’s for special occaisions, like anniversaries, or having an affair with the director.”

                  “Helel…” Raphael sighs.

                 “He’s seriously ugly and bad tempered. That he manages to get laid at all would be worthy of a fucking parade.”

                   “I don’t think having an affair right now will help things any.” Raphael covers the pan and places it in the prep fridge to set.

                   “Ha ha.” Luci replies flatly and sips his coffee. “Please tell me this isn’t decaf.”

                    “It’s not.” Raphael takes the other stool next to him and sits down.. “Everything will be alright.”

                    “Oh, well then, problem solved.” Raphael just ignores him.

                    “Do you remember when I was first without my grace, and ended up in the hospital after you stabbed me and left me for dead in the warehouse?”

                    “You are never going to let that go, are you?”

                    “Will you just be quiet and listen for once?” Raphael puts a hand over his brother’s mouth. Luci just gives him a look that implies there will be dire consequences if Raphael doesn’t remove the barrier between him and his coffee soon. Raphael complies. “Even when Michael came back I wasn’t alright. It wasn’t until Alex talked me into seeing a psychiatrist  and talking medication that things started to get better. Having everyone around me and taking care of me and understanding helped as well, but the medication bridged the gap that made it possible for those things to work. So I want you to go see a psychiatrist. You need to answer honestly understand. Soi you get the right medication.”

                    “You can’t just fix it? You are the angel of healing. If it’s a illness just fix it.”

                    “Unfortunately the complex functioning of the human brain is not one of the things I can easily and effectively alter at will.  The utter complexity and variety of interactions within it makes up almost the entirety of who a person is. That’s why I’m studying neuropharmachology.” 

                     “Well, Doctor Jones,” Luci straightens up, “You can’t just prescribe me something?”

                 “I have been telling you for years how to properly take care of your body and you haven’t listened to me yet. You’re spoiled, undisciplined, and it’ll be easier share a pill down your throat each day as long as you live than to ever attempt to micromanage your life until you form healthy habits and can stop taking them. I have suffered enough for your sake.” 

                 “Never going to let go of it are you?” Helel mutters into his coffee before putting it down.

                 “No.” Raphael hugs him. “I don’t.”

                 “Awww.” Helel pats his back with his free hand. “Say it with coffee.” He taps his brother’s arm with the empty mug, Raphael fills it a third time, ignoring him, so Luci resigns himself to the hug. “Hopefully Michael will be this understanding.”

                   “Helel, you made Chris cry, both Michael and Riley are out for blood.”

                   “I know.” Helel can’t help but smile. “I was hoping unleashing the momma bears would get them through until they got the letters. And they’d get Chris through.”

                    “And Shelly and Abigail?”

                    “Abigail has Ben, and it would have made Shelly reconcile with her father faster. You have Alex, Gabriel has Sam and no one else would have cared. Everyone would have been fine after a little initial discomfort. I didn’t expect Alex to come after me especially not with those two. “Helel straightens up as Raph finally let’s go. “Can I help you?” He asks the angel standing and staring at them from the entrance to the guest room.

                    “Where’s Ben?” Harahel asks.

                    “He’s in the basement with Michelle talking to Abigail’s friend. They couldn’t sleep.” Raphael informs him. “Claire and your counterpart are down there as well so there’s no need for concern.”

                   “I see.” Harahel stands there, unsure what to do.

                   “Raph, get this or get a drink. He looks like he’s been run over by a truck.”

                   “There is no more. And we’re not teaching a younger sibling to regulate their emotions with mind altering substances.” Raphael scolds him.

                    “Something softer than.” Luci gets up and grabs a honey stick from the mug on the coffee table. “Here, suck on this.”

                    “Helel…” Raphael gives a sigh.

                    “If it’s good enough for Michael, it’s good enough for him. Eat.” Luci bites the top off and hands it to Harahel who looks at it a second. “I forgot this is the one with brass balls and a smart mouth. Sorry about earlier, I only meant to get Michael.” Luci pat’s Hara’s head as he has a taste of it. The angel ignores the gestureand givs a contented sigh at the sweetness.”

                    “It’s alright. There’s no real harm done. Though if I’d been here I could have instructed Ben or Shelly to heal Sam and you wouldn’t have had to scar them both for life in the midst of saving him.” Harahel can’t help but jab.

                     “They can’t. All angels are bound by those rules, not just the archangels.” Rapahel informs him.

                  “Besides, would you really have deprived me of that? It was the highlight of my day.” Luci adds.

                   “Yes. I would have.” Harahel replies cooly. “And if this treaty is with the reapers, then they absolutely aren’t. Half angel, half human hybrids are classified as monsters. That’s why they’re sent to purgatory. Either nephilim are classified as angels and sent to the abyss after death or they’re monsters and can’t be included in provisions governing angels. But they can’t have it both ways?” Hara sits down at the dinner table. Luci winces at this.

                    “Let me guess. You were hoping no one would think of that until much much later.” Raphael frowns at his brother.

                  “Well, a hysterical pregnant half trained teenager isn’t exactly the first choice when it comes to emergency medical care. I didn’t think it would come up so fast, to be honest.” Luci admts. “And I didn’t know, Icee jr was so close behind. There wasn’t exactly a lot of time.”

                    “You are going to have to refer to Ben by name at some point, Helel.” Raphael chides him.

                 “No, I won’t. So, what’s up?” Luci  hops down and sits in the chair next to Hara at the table. “Why do you look like your dog just died?”

                 “Why do you care?”

                  “Ooh, salty boy. Let’s just say if I’m thinking about your pitiful life, I’m not thinking about mine.  C’mon, spill, is it over me? Is other me being bitchy? She probably is being bitchy, jealous, ungrateful and too self absorbed to realize it.”

                  “Those particular notes do seem to be the backbone of your main chord.” Raphael comments. Luci just flips him off.

                  “I sincerely doubt she’s jealous of me. She doesn’t think that much of me, she’s made that more than clear in every way possible.”

                  “Then she absolutely is jealous of you.” Luci snorts. “The more miserable she’s going out of her way to make you the more jealous she is. Trust me.”

                  “I don’t care why she hates me. I never did anything but my best for her.  And I loved her so deeply, She probably never even cared about me at all.” Hara accepts the next honey stick from Luci.                   

                  “Did she ever apologize to you? At all? Were the words  ‘I’m sorry’ every used in regards to her own words actions or behavior? For anything.” Raphael gently asks her.

                “Yes, about fourteen years ago.”

                “Then she cares.”

                “Really, Raph?” Luci looks back, holding out his empty mug.

                “You don’t apologize for things, Helel. You’re way too prideful and arrogant, you just won’t do it.”

                 “I apologize for things.” Luci wiggles the mug to get his attention.

                 “No, you don’t. Even now unless it’s to one of your loved ones your ‘apologies’ never indicate request and rarely admit fault. So yes, Harahel, Your Helel cares about you.” Raphael snaps the cup full again. 

                  “Then why did she fire me from being Ben’s guardian angel?” Harahel demands.

                  “Because” Luci takes a drink. “She’s a jealous, ungrateful, self absorbed bitch.”


	38. The Last Straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly bonds with her uncle Raphael  
> Gabriel lays down the law  
> Luci and Raphael attempt to intervene on both their sister and neice's behalf

             “So.. you’ll be my queen?” Tris makes a face.

             “Yuperoonie. Of course, that’ll be when I die. When we both die. “ Shelly explains. “Right now my people hold half of purgatory. Leviathan hold the other half and the oceans. It’s not heaven, but it’s not hell either. We’re working out how to get people reincarnated but right now it’s the best of a bad situation.”

              “You can try to hold out for a chance at heaven in this life, but if you can’t not everything is lost, okay?”

              “Okay.” Tris doesn’t look as reassured as she’d like.

             “You’re Abby’s friend. I’ll take care of you.” Shelly pats her leg. “We all will, right B… now where’d he go?” She looks back for him.

              “He went out to speak to someone.” Hara replies softly so as not to wake Claire who’s asleep on the pile of mats behind her. “I think it that other me you mentioned.”

              “Oh, alright. Well, thanks for helping look after Abby’s friend. I’ll stop by later, Tris.” Shelly smiles and heads out after Ben. She can’t see him so she just heads upstairs to steal some breakfast from uncle Raph’s fridge. But both of her uncles are there. Uncle Raphael is cleaning up the kitchen and Uncle Helel is asleep at the dinner table.

               “Can I help you?” Uncle Raphael asks in that annoying way he does that indicates both that she probably doesn’t want to answer that question but that she’d better.”

               “Not really. Just checking up on my baby brother.” She gives a charming angelic smile.

               “Avoiding your mother?”

             “No, of course not. I’m just concerned about Ben. He just saw his mother stab his father in the chest. The child’s having nightmares.” She rebukes him, properly offended at the question. “What mind of sister would I be if I let him go through that all by himself.”

               “I hope you don’t think you actually can hide from your mother. There’s no where you can go that she wouldn’t think to look. It takes one to catch are after all.” Raphael can’t help but grin.

              “You wouldn’t tell on my, would you, uncle Raphie?” Shelly drapes herself on his arm.

              “I absolutely would if only to witness the conversation.” Raphael reaches up to pat her head.

              “Aww, why? It’s not like I’m going to vanish for a thousand years, I’m just not ready to face her yet and kind of want her to calm down a little. Plus I need time to regroup and make sure Ben is okay and Abigail and I just need a little bit. And I want to make sure I don’t kill dad.” She tries to make it flippant but she’s far too close to fool her uncle, so he just gives his niece a comforting hug. “I never meant to hurt anybody. And you know I never meant to put Abigail in danger, right?” She pleads.

             “I know, Michelle. I do not hold you accountable for Abigail’s actions and I know very well how dedicated you are to her welfare. Maybe you’re not her guardian angel anymore, but you are still very much a Winchester and always will be.” It’s the first time she’s ever heard it said as a complement by her angelic kin. “And if there’s anything that could put me at ease about my daughter’s welfare it’s the knowledge that she’s loved by a Winchester as strongly and deeply as you’ve shown do.”

             “Oh, so you’re playing the good cop now, is that it?” Shelly turns as she hears her mother’s voice. “Is that what you’re doing now in this situation? Right here? Were you even going to tell me she was here?” Shelly wants to run, but she knows there’s no point, her mother’s faster than she is.

              “I hadn’t decided yet. You need to calm down, Bree.” Raphael says gently letting Shelly hide her face in his chest.

              “Don’t ‘Bree’ me!”

              “Shhh. Don’t wake our brother. He’s going to be angry enough when he realizes I gave him decaf instead of regular.” Raphael cautions Gabriel who raises an eyebrow. “He woke too early and needed more sleep. Nobody needs t deal with him cranky and over tired.”

              “Oh, please you know he sleeps like the dead. Don’t change the subject. I need to speak to my daughter. Alone. Now.”

               “No. You’re too angry.” Raphael keeps hold of his niece.

               “Don’t I have the right to be? She took over hell, she’s pregnant, she nearly killed her father...”

               “That was not her fault, Gabriel. She didn’t know. Because no one told her. Just like you didn’t tell Sam. Alot of people were at fault in this.” Raphael is actually defending her. For some reason that scares her even more.

                “You mean like you didn’t tell me my daughter was pregnant with CROWLEY’s child.

                “It’s not Crowleys.” Raphael replies calmly. “And there are such things as privacy laws.”

                “Pri… you are not her doctor!” Gabriel looks like she wants to strangle him. 

                “Maybe if you’d paid any attention at all to my lessons when I tried to teach you these things you wouldn’t need me to tell you these things.

                 “I am capable of telling if someone is pregnant or not, but I have to pay attention and I was a little preoccupied with her death and my frail elderly mortal husband!” Gabriel’s volume combined with the door opening and accidentally smacking Luci with the knob finally wakes him.

                  “I… I’m sorry.” Ben quickly apologizes, and looks awkwardly around at the tense scene. A furious Gabriel and a cowering Shelly protectively embraced by Raphael. “I’ll… go somewhere else for a while.”

                   “No. No, it’s fine. We were just leaving. Ben. Sit. Michelle?” Gabriel crosses her arms.  “This is a conversation we should have in private.” Shelly just shakes her head as Ben quickly sits down on the couch nearest to him.

             “Gabriel, you’re too upset. Why don’t we go talk a little bit and…” Luci groggily reaches out a hand. Gabriel just glares at him. 

             “Michelle. Sit down.”

             “Mom,” Shelly squirms uncomfortably.

             “No. You don’t want to have this conversation in private that fine; you can have an audience. Now SIT.” She points to the sofa. 

             “I don’t want to have this conversation at all.” Shelly says meekly. Her mother just snaps her fingers and sends her mouthy daughter to the sofa.

             “You need to sit down, shut up and listen, little girl.” Gabriel leans over her. “Do you understand me?” Shelly nods, and sits on her hands. “Do you understand me?” Shelly nods and sits on her hands. “I thought, for a brief second, that maybe just maybe dying and being grounded and having to deal with the consequences, would help teach you a little something. I had some small hope that your Aunt and Uncle could help straighten you out a little. Help bring back the only moderately crazy loveable little girl who wasn’t doing things like taking over hell, but no. You can’t even wait a week. Before you have to go cause more trouble and what’s more you can’t even wait to reconcile with your father before literally breaking his fucking heart!”

             “Gab..” Luci tries again.

             “Shut up! Now I have wracked my brain trying to think of some way I can get through to you, how to teach you a lesson that won’t kill you in the process because Dad only knows DYING had no effect on you.”

              “Gabriel.” Raphael snaps at her.

              “Don’t,” She turns to him.

              “I don’t need any of your stupid lessons.” A red faced Shelly straightens up.

              “Oh, no?”

              “I wasn’t screwing around. I knew what I was doing I made plans and followed through and maybe it didn’t go perfectly but I did fucking awesome!” She starts but her mother cuts her off.

              “Oh, is that so? Was dying part of your grand scheme? Was endangering your cousin, nearly killing your father and being impregnated by a damn demon or something part of your big fucking awesome plan?”

              “I was not impregnated by a damn demon!” Shelly straightens up.

              “Oh, really. Well, then please, tell me who the father is or have you also become so recklessly promiscuous that you don’t have a clue who it is?” Her mother’s question makes her cheeks turn red.

             “Okay, you are really not the one to throw stones at that one, paseh.” Luci comments a bit forcefully.

             “I’m not promiscuous.” Shelly scowls with the mildly bewildered irritated look of one accused of someone accused of stealing all the cheese from the mouse traps.

              “Fine then, who’s the father. You can tell us that at least. That’s one fucking detail I have the right to know, who impregnated my sixteen year old daughter.” Gabriel sits down on the coffee table in front of her and crosses her arms. “C’mon. I’m waiting.” There’s no way Shelly can tell her mother the truth about this. Not here, not now. She’s not prepared for it at all. She just isn’t and kind of hoped that with everything else, who’s the father wouldn’t be the focus of attention here.

             “Ben.” She’s almost as surprised as everyone else at what  comes out of her mouth.

               “What?” Ben looks over at her horrified.

              “Excuse me?” Her mother pauses as Luci and Raphael both wince slightly.

              “There’s no need to deny it anymore, darling.” She pulls his head to her breast. “Our love is forbidden but strong.” Raphael sighs and rubs the bridge of his nose while Luci notes that the expression on Gabriel’s face is one that he only ever used to see on Michael’s.

               “Are you making jokes? Now? Really? Right now?” Her mother’s voice is a kind of quiet calm, that is down right terrifying. “You are pregnant Michelle. Pregnant. That is another life growing inside you. One you clearly want to exist. It’s bad enough that your reckless behavior has harmed or endangered all your loved ones, but this is a child who’s life is in your hands. Who’s future you are responsible for.”

                “I know that.” Shelly looks down.

                “Do you? Because you can’t even seem to grasps the most basic responsible behaviors. No, you have to.. to.. to take over hell, slaughter hordes of rebelling demons, sneak out of the house, get pregnant at sixteen with a D average report card! You can’t even drive yet! And you ‘know’ about the responsibility of having a child? I don’t think so.”

                “I know what I’m doing.” Shelly asserts.

                “Enlighten me, then. Please.” Her mother gestures to her and just sits there still, silently, waiting.

                “I can’t.” Shelly says after a minute. “You don’t want to understand, you just want to rip whatever I say to pieces. So there’s no point. I’m not playing that game with you.”

                  “It’s not a game, Shelly.” Still that terrifying quietness. “And It’s not… you’re right. I don’t care what you have to say anymore, as I too am not playing anymore games with you, verbal or otherwise. I’m going to tell you flat out what is going to happen. You are going to stay out of hell and away from demons on their representatives. You are either going to have an abortion immediately or regularly attend all doctors appointments and every parenting class I sign you up for. If you do not pass every single test I give you or attend every single appointment or class you will give that child up for adoption in a safe place, far, far away from here.

                   “You will not say or do anything to cause your father further distress. You will follow all rules set in place for you and they are liable to change at any time your father and I see fit. You will continue to go to school. Adn your grades will go up, because you will be putting forth effort into these things.” Gabriel finishes as Luci and Raphael just look at each other, and wait for the response they know is coming. Ben just tries very hard to pretend he’s not there.

                    “Or?” Shelly looks cooly at her mother. And there it is.

                  “Or what?”

                  “Exactly. Or what? Will you imprison me? Chain me in a dungeon? Make me wear the bracelets again? What exactly are my options? If I refuse, then what?”

                  “Then this.” Gabriel brings up a folder and pen and hands it to her. “You Michelle Cadence Singer are a child, legally, until you turn eighteen. We are legally responsible for you and your welfare, so if you refuse to behave as our child, then you won’t be.” Shelly opens the folder to see emancipation papers, filled out and signed, by her mother. “I’m not putting your father through anymore of this. I’m done, that’s it. I’m done.”

                    “Gabriel…” Raphael steps forwards. “We need to talk, all of us.” Ben, Michelle, excuse us.” The three adults disappear. “And just what from any of your experiences with her and her relatives made you think that was even remotely a good idea? What if she calls your bluff?”

                   “She’s not bluffing.” Luci takes a seat on the warm grass in the field. “Give me some real fucking coffee right now, Raph.” Raphael just snaps him awake alert and fully rested. “That’s more like it. Don’t ever fuck with my coffee again”

                    “Then you can make it yourself.” Raphael turns back to his little sister,” And that’s even worse, Gabriel.” 

                   “I don’t know what else to do.” She plops down next to Luci and rests her head on his lap, as always going to her favorite big brother when ever she thinks she’s in trouble. “I’m at my wits end. I tried everything. I don’t know how to get through to her.”

                    “Bree, that’s what we’re here for.” Raphael kneels down in front of them both. “We’re your family, we’re here to help you when you’re having a hard time.”

                    “No, you’re here to tell me how to parent.” She gripes.

                    “Paseh, you’re overwrought.” Luci strokes her hair. “You’re dealing with the inevitability of the death of a loved one, and all the loss that still implies. Now is not the time to make big decisions like that. Or give ultimatums to someone just as distraught as you are.”

                  “You will be able to see Sam in heaven when he dies.” Raphael tries to comfort her. “When he dies he’s just moving from his home to ours.”

                  “And reincarnation is always an option. Even if resurrection won’t be.” Luci adds. “You’ll get to court and fall in love with him all over again in his new life and his new body and that’s something to look forwards to.”

                   “That’s not how reincarnation works. I’m not going to make him gamble on another existence. I’m certainly not going to take a newly reincarnated child and stalk and groom him so that he can fall in love with me all over again when he’s a new person entirely. That’s… that’s creepy and wrong and while I’m not surprised you’d think of it. I am surprised you think I’d be okay with that.” Gabriel grumbles.

                     “True. I suppose when he dies for the last time, you’ll just have to let him stay in heaven and be happy and find someone who won’t wear out. Maybe an also grieving widower who’ll understand what you’re going through. Someone a little more appropriate.” Luci attempts to soothe her. Gabriel just looks up at him with the same irritated unamused look Raphael is giving him. “What?” He asks with perfect fake innocence.

                    “Stop shipping us. It’s creepy and wrong.” Gabriel  reaches up to flick his brother’s nose.

                    “Like that fan.” Raphael adds.

                    “Torn to pieces for all of your sakes and you still won’t leave my damn fan alone.” Luci huffs.

                    “I’m more concerned with your scenario that implies my wife will die an untimely death first.”

                     “Relax, I like Alex. She’s a decent starter wife.”

                     “It doesn’t matter. We both already know what this obsession with Gabriel and me is really about, Helel.” Raphael looks sternly at him.

                      “We do?” Gabriel raises an eyebrow.

                      “Yes, we do. He obviously wants us together to free up Sam for himself.”  Luci is unamused by his brother entirely inappropriate jest, thought Gabriel starts to snicker.

                   “Oh, yeah, you got me, I have a deep secret all abiding love for that  man which burns inside me so brightly even Michael’s flames are unable to overtake it. My dearest, sweet Samuel. My love. My one and only.” Luci’s flat monotone drives Gabriel’s snickers into uncontrollable laughter. “Gabriel,” He sighs when his sister’s laughter finally subsides.  “It’ll be alright. You have years upon years and when he is in heaven, he won’t be lost to you, it’ll just be different.”

                     “I know. But I won’t be the only one there. and I don’t know what to do about that. And I don’t know what I’m going to do about  my daughter because once he dies she will never be able to see him again. And once she’s gone for good I won’t be able to see her either and she’s just racing as hard and fast as she can to utter destruction and I don’t know how to stop her. I just can’t let her take him with her.”

                    “You think she’s like me.” Luci goes back to stroking her hair.

                   “I know she’s like you. I just don’t know how much. She murdered someone in cold blood, someone she cared about so much she kept his association with her nad Abigail a secret to protect him from us. She just killed him. She’s sixteen, Luc, don’t say that’s not something to be concerned about.”

                     “Gabriel.” Raphael puts a hand on her arm. “She’s a Winchester. Everything she’s done has been to try and protect a loved one in some way. Yes, she’s over confident, a little arrogant, too independant, and doesn’t care much about the rules, but beneath the chaotic whirlwind of charisma is a good loving often selfless young woman. Thoughtless? Maybe. Inexperienced? Of course. Brash, stubborn, impulsive, yes. But she’s sixteen, Bree. And she doesn’t yet know what she doesn’t know, or what she can’t do, or how much is too much. She’s not trying to hurt you, or Sam or any of us, and acting as if she is won’t help anything.”

                     “That’s surprisingly insightful, and yet completely unhelpful.” Gabriel grouses. “I have a long list of ‘don’t do this’. What I need if anything is to know what the hell I should do!”

                    “Well,” Luci slowly ventures,. “Maybe she does as well.”


	39. Busy, Busy Bee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shelly and Ben bond,   
> Shelly talks with Auntie Miqa

             “So, how are you?” Shelly closes the folder and turns to Ben.

             “Much like you probably. Wishing it were possible to have a father and no mother.” He looks down at his hands, at the scroll.

              “Trade?” She offers him the folder and gently pulls the scroll from his hands. “Wow, handwritten, and so neatly, no way this is a first draft. You’d think Uncle Helel was the doctor with how bad his handwriting can be.”

               “That’s because it’s a final, cold, impersonal, purely rational judgement and law unto heaven and earth.” He leans back. “That’s what she does. She rules heaven day and night. To make up for the crime of having me. Or maybe just because she wishes she didn’t. I don’t know. I don’t care anymore.” He sighs, slumping down on the sofa.

                “Mom spends alot of time in heaven too.” Shelly looks the missive over. “It’s like she’s only ever here to visit dad, my aunts and uncles, and all her old pagan friends. Yeah, it’s for work, but she never wants to take me with her. How am I going to rule purgatory if I don’t have more practical experience or current examples of leadership? I mean, Yeah, Uncle Helel is great and I’m pretty sure I can just about handle anything.” It’s fortunate for Ben she doesn’t see him roll his eyes. “ But it’s just one viewpoint and being good at something is not the same as being the best and I’ll be damned if I shoot for anything less than being the best.”

                “Yeah, but they’re pagans. That would be beyond irresponsible to bring you around them.” Ben opens the folder. “Dad doesn’t take me hunting either.”

                 “Dad doesn’t really hunt anymore. He just teaches, which is nice. Uncle Cas is trying to get Uncle Dean to stop hunting but he won’t. I kind of half think that’s why he doesn’t want him turned back because he can’t hunt like this. At all. Oh, I still have to dress him up in a little sailor suit.” She muses, looking back to the paper. “Oh, seriously? That’s fucking cold.” Shelly gapes at the scroll. “I thought your mom was supposed to be Uncle Helel’s good twin.”

                  “Good is too mild a word. She is the epitome of heavenly beauty purity and virtue. As for this, at least your mother gave you an option.” Ben puts it down. “Don’t sign it, though.”

                   “Why not? I never planned on staying at home to have this baby, and I have too much to do to conform to all of the things she’s asking of me more than I’d already intended to. I have responsibilities.”

                    “You can’t raise a child all alone. And I know you don’t want to neglect him or deprive him of anything or to do the same to Alice. There’s his safety to consider. He’ll be targeted if only because he’s your son.”

                     “He’ll be a Winchester. They wouldn’t dare.” Shelly argues.

                  “If they thought you and your family were estranged they might. they’d be wrong, but he’d still be in danger and hurt psychologically if not physically. i’m not sure you can handle anything that comes us, but why would you want anything but the best for him even if it means swallowing your pride and asking for help, or making sacrifices, right?” She doesn’t reply, which is as good as an agreement. “Besides what about Dad? I’m not saying this’ll be heart attack inducing, but it’ll hurt him alot, and I don’t think he deserves that.”

                 “No, but if I stay I’ll end up doing something or saying something or making some mistake that will hurt him again, or worse and I just… You understand, right?”  SHe looks so distressed it kind of melts his heart a little.

                  “Yes, but the thing is, it’s easier to leave than to come back. Maybe you could… negotiate the terms a little.”

                  “Are you kidding? Did she sound like she was open to negociation?”

                  “No, but you could try getting someone to speak on your behalf, a mediator or negotiator. Someone less emotionally compromised by the situation than the two of you.” He suggests gently.

                  “There’s not a person I trust outside this family and  not a person in this family who does not have very strong feelings on this thing.” Shelly argues.

                  “Well, Hara, could… I mean…” Ben stops and look down at his hands, looking very much like a sad snowman melting in the sun. It takes a second before Shelly realizes that those are tears in the corner of his eyes.

                  “Oh, geez,” Shelly puts the scroll down and hugs the sad little lump. “Look, it’s.. it’ll be okay. You’re mom’s clearly just nuerotically over protective and a control freak.”                 

                  “No, it’s not Mom. Hara’s not my angel anymore. He said he’s been neglecting the library and that since I’m an adult now I don‘t really need a guardian angel. He said that making the arrangements to allow me to see Abigail’s mother for therapy was the last thing I really needed him for. So he’s not… he left.”

                   “Well, you are kind of too big for a nanny. Or is your Harahel actually a fighter.” Shelly tries to think.

                   “No. He’s not. He’s gotten better, but I’m still a better fighter than he is. But I just.. why would he leave me? Maybe I don’t need his protection so much, but he’s my angel. He’s always been there for me and now he’s not. I understand, but I don’t understand. How can he just… leave? I mean, maybe he thinks I’m grown up enough not to need him, but he’s the only one who considers me grown up at all, no matter what they said at my birthday. Doesn’t he want to stay? I-I thought he loved me.”

                   “Well, it’s not like he broke up with you, Ben. He still loves you, obviously. I mean he mouthed off to Aunt Miqa for you, there’s no way any sane and rational angel with the least bit of common sense would do that for any reason except for being compromised by complete and utter love and devotion. You know, like when Castiel molotoved her with a holy fire cocktail for Uncle Dean’s sake.”

                   “W-what?” Ben’s attention is completely captured by this. “He what?”

                   “Focus, Ben. This is about your angel. He did stupid dangerous things for your sake. And did he say never to speak to or contact him again? No, because if he was that kind of asshole you’d be way more upset. I bet you anything that if you were in trouble, he would barrel through the center of the earth to get to you, and if you ever really need him, he’ll come. That’s what family does. After all maybe he’s not your angel, but he is still your uncle.” She reassures him. “C’mon, even Abigail went through hell to get me back when I died and she’d just told me she hated me.”

                    “My family’s not as close as yours is. They don’t talk to each other. They kind of walk on eggshells around each other, and they never see each other unless they have to, but here, they live together, vacation together, trust each other with their children. Your Helel and Raphael not only talk to each other, but it seems like they kind of even like each other, too.  They fight like Mary Ellen and Bobby John, you know… like they actually love and care about each other. And I don’t… I kind of wish they were my family, but if they were, I wouldn’t exist.”

                    “Well, you’re my brother so they are your family. Especially if you marry Abigail.” Shelly adds without thinking. Ben pushes away and just stares at her. “Just saying.”

                     “I really don’t find incest jokes funny, Michelle. Especially not when they involve me.” He scolds her.

                    “Oh, please, you two aren’t even slightly physically related genetically, besides if you marry her and you’re my brother, that’d make her my sister which is even better than just my cousin.” Shelly winks. Ben’s not amused, and isn’t sure which would be worse, that she thought of this on her own or someone else pointed it out to try and lessen the hostility.  “No, seriously, it’s perfect. I can trust her with you, you’ve made that more than clear already, as much as I hate it I will have my own child that’ll have to come first but that doesn’t mean I want her with just anyone, or alone and unprotected.”

                “That’s kind of a touching compliment, given how important she is to you. But I’m thirteen. I haven’t even had my first kiss yet and I live in another thread of existence as you pointed out so thoroughly on the mountain side. Not to mention that Abigail has kind of the final say in who she loves and marries and not either of us.” Ben triest to be diplomatic because if this is why she’s being nice to him, he kind of doesn’t want to send her back to being such a bitch. But at the same time it’s not like he wants to commit his or Abigail’s future just for a pleasant Shelly.

                  “I know. I’m just saying, if you need a wing man…” Shelly nudges his arm.

                 “If I ever do, you will be the first one I go to.” Ben tightens his lips. He wondered about her change of heart. This makes a lot more sense,and is a little less suspicious, but it’s still irritating. Of course that seems to be part of having a sister.

                  “So, what are we going to do about this?” Shelly holds up the scroll. “Because this is not okay.”

                  “What do you mean what are we going to do? We can’t do anything. This is final. And the portal is guarded now anyways.”

                “Good god, Ben. Are you a Winchester or aren’t you? This vampire helped you, and she helped Abigail and got either eaten or tortured because of it and probably will until she’s rescued. And this heartless no to doing anything for her is good enough for you? No, this is not okay.”

                 “Michelle.” Ben states firmly, looking her straight in the eye as he takes hold of her upper arms, “Stop. You are pregnant. So, no. Just… no. If something is to be done it won’t be ‘us’ because you are not going to get involved. And I swear on all that is that I will tell every adult I can find, twice if I need to if you even think about it. I will figure something out. I promise, I swear it. Okay?”

                  “Are you sure? Because you seem like you’re more the type to d the adult manly thing of doing whatever mommy says to do.” Shelly frowns at him. “Ben gives her a dark look. Which isn’t exactly effective as he can’t exactly say he’s done much more to defy her wishes than play video games and eat junk food, which he’s already regretting immensely.

                  “My mother happens to be older, wiser and more powerful than anyone I know. I’m not just ‘doing what mommy says’ I’m respecting the decision of the ruler of all heaven and caretaker of earth. And disobeying a direct decree is not something to be done lightly, even if I am her son.”

                   “Oh, Ben, you’re just not devious enough to see things clearly, that’s all. And she’s not stupid enough to make a blanket decree forbidding anyone from retrieving anyone from purgatory because you are going to purgatory when you die and she is not going to just let you stay there. See that? ‘No denizen of heaven and earth under my command may retrieve any leviathan or corrupted human soul from purgatory or they shall face severe consequences, to be determined personally on a case by case basis.’ See? That’s just so open for interpretation.” Shelly points to the page. He just looks at her as if she’s crazy, which she’s used to by now, so she doesn’t take it personally.

                   “Whu.. how is that open for interpretation? Where do you see something open for interpretation? Because I don’t. It’s pretty clear to me.”

                   “Here for one. ‘Denizens of heaven and earth under her command. That’s not everyone, or even everyone in her family. Can you seriously consider your aunts and uncles under your mother’s command? Or your father? Because I know they sure as hell wouldn’t. And this part, forbidding them from retrieving those creatures, as in doing so themselves, not from allowing anyone to do so. And you see this? Any of the corrupted human souls. A nephilim is not a corrupted human soul. it’s an angelic human hybrid. She left it wide open to let you be retrieved without making the exception too obvious, but there are several additional implied loopholes to be argued by whoever does it. For instance, werewolves and Vampires who have not fed on humans aren’t corrupted, there’s merely infected, since it’s curable. They just never got the chance for the cure while they were alive, and would be able to do so once they are alive. And given your  mother is also the patron saint of the fallen, it’s unreasonable to say that a soul that is currently corrupted cannot be redeemed, and self sacrifice to save innocents is certainly a redeeming act worthy of mercy and forgiveness. You see what I mean?”

                    “You sound like my Aunt Bree. I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing.” Ben doesn’t really want to admit she’s making sense.

                    “It also leaves the punishment open as well should someone she doesn’t want to punish break the rule. I.E. You or someone rescuing you, or one of her dearer siblings.” Shelly grins. “though you’re not under her command. You’re not an angel, you’re just her son. But she’s just covering all her bases. It’ kind of sweet, really, looking at all the effort put into the wording. But knowing you, and what a literal and mindlessly obedient zombie child you are….”

                    “I am not! Didn’t I sneak off to hell and do things I wasn’t supposed to do all the time?” He demands. Shelly just gives him a patronizing look at this.

                   “You played video games and ate junk food.  and you did it so you could stay sane while accomplishing all your other studies. Engaging in acts of self care and preservation don’t count as being naughty, it just makes your parents borderline abusive in terms of neglect. She would never expect you to look for loopholes like this. So it’s still just hella cold, and I just love how she just hand waves any responsibility for your emotional pain at all, and just accuses you of lying to her about being ‘fine’. As if parents can’t make it absolutely impossible to talk to them about things.” Shelly snorts.

                  “I thought I was fine, most of the time. I always talked to Hara before talking to her and that makes me feel okay, usually. And i know what I have to do most of the time, study harder, work harder, try harder, listen better, practice more, so even if there is a problem it’s not like talking to her about it would have led to anything but being told to do those things and worrying and disappointing her or letting her down. So I never like to talk to her about a problem unless I already have a solution I’m trying to implement.”  Ben shrugs uncomfortable. Of course now he won’t have Hara to talk to anymore, to make everything feel okay again. “Anyways as for the important part, there is not a single angel in heaven who would interpret that document the way you are.”

                   “Well, duh, and I’m sure she knows that. I mean come on, Levi’s would tear the lesser angels to pieces in a heartbeat. They’re only effective in large numbers and a large scale invasion is completely out of the question. Then there’s the risk of the levi finding out about the portal through physical contact. Hmm, it’s kind of complicated.  We’ll need more than just a lot of Borate to deal with them. And I have like no experience with Levi’s at all. I think this might take a while.” Shelly slumps down herself, thinking of all the complications. “Man.” She frowns. “How the hell do we rescue her without making things undeniably worse?” 

                     “I can’t believe it, you’re actually sounding sensible. Maybe it’s the hormones.” Ben tilts his head. Shelly just shoots him a look and gets to her feet. 

                      “Okay, where’s Abigail. We’ll need her input in this.” She stretches.

                      “No! Absolutely not. And haven’t you just gotten in trouble to trying to do things like this?”

                    “Uh, no. I got in trouble for successfully doing more difficult and complicated things than this.” For the sake of his sanity, Ben decides not to debate with her on this.

                     “You have other things to focus on. I will take care of this. I will. I know my parents don’t have any faith in me, but I thought maybe my big sister might.” He looks at her with big sad blue eyes. Shelly just starts to laugh.

                   “Aw, you’re so cute.” She pinches his cheek. “Is this your first attempt at emotional manipulation? It’s adorable. Okay, but remember if you get yourself killed I’m coming after you, baby or no baby. Your my little brother.” She kisses his forehead. “Of course I’ll still kick your ass if you hurt my Abby-gale. I just won’t cause any permanent damage. C’mon. Let’s go check on the twins. They’re probably not so happy. I’ll show you how to make funnel cake and chocolate sauce from scratch.” She heads out the door.

                    “Wait, what about…” Ben looks down at the folder.

                    “Later.”

                   “No, not later.” Ben grabs it and heads out the door after her. “This is something you have to take care of now. You can teach me to make funnel cake later. 

                   “It’s Auntie Miqa.” Shelly goes over and gives Michael a kiss on the cheek as he just stares at the directions on the pancake mix.  “No, no.” she takes it away. “I’m making the little gremlins funnel cake with chocolate sauce. Are you okay?” Shelly puts it back in the cupboard.      

                    “I’m fine.” He lies.

                   “No, you’re not. Would you like some hugs or just a distraction like helping Ben and me figure something out.“ Shelly hugs him anyways.

                    “So long as that thing you won’t help with does not include either of you rescuing, fighting or killing anything.”

                    “Can we use proxies?” Shelly smiles.

                    “I promise Shelly and I will do nothing but problem solve, even if I have to chain her to the wall.” Ben solemnly places a hand to his heart.

                    “Just you try it frosty. I will melt you into a puddle.” She glares at him. “But yes, unfortunately as long as I am with child I’m going to have to be a bit of a homebody. If I could maybe have my sword back, please. I’m defending myself for two, now.”

                    “You’re what?” He turns to face her.

                    “Ah…” Shelly steps back, not expecting this at all. “Ha, yeah, um… well… Jesus Christ, does nobody in this house tell anybody anything?” She gives a frustrated scream. As if it weren’t her responsibility to inform others of her pregnancy. “That’s why Dad had that heart attack, because he kind of… look, I didn’t know he hated Crowley quite so much as he did. So I’m only going to tell you this if you promise you never ever tell anyone without my permission.”                                    

                     “No.” Michael’s face is stern. “Ben, will you excuse us for a moment?” Ben nods.

                   “Oh, please I’ve already been yelled at and given an ultimatum today. Please don’t…” Shelly begs as her Aunt Miqa takes her somewhere more private, which turns out to be the empty detention room at the school. Appropriate but not exactly encouraging. Shelly just sits down and waits for the lecture or scolding or whatever else Auntie Miqa intends to do. Only lolo knows all the stories she’s heard from her mother and uncle about Aunt Miqa’s temper. and given how her mother reacted to everything that’s happened so far. “But Michael doesn’t say anything for the longest time.

                    “Do you love him?” Michael asks quietly, confusing her for a second.

                    “Who… oh, well, it’s complicated and kind of twisty turny.” Shelly squirms. “I  made a deal… and this is…” her voice trails off.

                     “Go on.” His voice is firm but gentle as she hesitates.

                     “Why? Are you actually going to listen?” Shelly hugs her arms to herself.

                     “I promise I will. Beyond that I promise not to interrupts or do anything but take notes and ask questions to make sure I understand or to clarify something and nothing else until you finish. Don’t worry about time. I froze it for us.” He promises, the firm authoritative voice he says this in is somehow more reassuring than if he actually tried to reassure her.

                      “You’re not going to yell at me? Ground me? Threaten me? Order me around?” Shelly challenges not believing it for a moment, no matter how much she wants to.

                     “Michelle, don’t I always listen to what you have to say first? Or the twins?”

                     “For little things and you never cut me any slack.”

                     “You mean, you can’t sweet talk me out of disciplining you like you can your father.” Michael gives a small smile.

                     “I don’t sweet talk him. I just reason with him.” Shelly protests, slightly offended. “I have good reasons for things and he’s just able to admit that, that’s all.”

                     “If it involves pet names and puppy eyes and snuggling up to him, it’s sweet talking.” He reaches over and tweaks her nose. “And I’m sure cooing isn’t exactly a recognized debate tactic either. You’re good, but I’ve been taken by the best and learned how hot to be since before life even existed on this earth.” Shelly’s cheeks turn red, and she looks away. “What I’m giving you is the opportunity to explain yourself truthfully and completely. Or do you think that your reasoning and logic are flawed and that you acted irresponsibly to unworthy ends?”

                    “Of course I don’t think that! ” Shelly sets her jaw. “But no one is willing to even consider anything else because they’re so much older than I am. They just look for reasons why I’m wrong and they’re right. Is it so wrong I want to just make them more receptive to what I have to say? So they actually listen to me? I know I did well and responsibly and for the right reasons and the best way it could be done.” 

                    “Then maybe in my eons of experience I will also be able to recognize and acknowledge the reasoning behind your actions. there is no one on this earth older than I am and you know I listen to people who are so much younger than I am that the difference between their age and your age when compared to mind is statistically insignificant.  An advantage to youth and inexperience is a lack of preconceived notions eliminating options, there are of course disadvantages, but you have to give me a little credit.” He admonishes her. “Or are you assuming that because I’m old, I’m incapable of growing, or learning, or having grown and learned at all.”

                      “I guess that’s kind of unfair. but you are really hard on me and it’s not fair.” Shelly insists.

                      “I know I am. But you have to keep in mind that when I hold you to certain standards or require certain things of you it’s because that in my long experience, these things are vital. Not doing them, or doing certain things have consistently resulted in bad things a majority of the time. Sometimes you have to risk it, I know, but I’m trying to give you the benefit of my experience, so that you can learn lessons without having to experience the terrible consequences yourself.  That’s why we don’t like you doing things like this all by yourself. You can be the most capable person in the world but everything can just… go to hell, I guess, with a single unexpected turn of events. Some of them you can only see if you have experience, either through your own actions or witnessing other’s actions.” He explains. “You can only see so much in sixteen years. It’s not a criticism or an insult, it’s just a fact.”

                       “That I can only reasonably put sixteen years of experience into sixteen years of living? I guess I can admit that much, but I do read, you know.” She grumbles.

                       “Yes, but people older than you have the likelihood of having experienced more.  And while you can’t prepare for everything, why wouldn’t you want to prepare for everything you can? Even if it means having people older than you point out fatal flaws in your plans and show you places where others have tripped up and why? You don’t have to start from the bottom, you can use the experiences of others to enhance your own success. As i’ve learned, sometimes that even means listening to those younger than you who have simply had different experiences that you haven’t. Even now, by telling me about this, you enable me to point out things that are either obvious in hindsight or potential loose ends or potential consequences because if there are, and there always, always are.” Michael gives a weary sigh, though it looks more like he’s thinking more about his own misadventures than hers. “Then we need to know what to prepare for or keep an eye out for. Our knowing this isn’t just important because we’re your parents and relatives it’s our job to reign you in. It’s important because we need to know what to prepare for or keep an eye out for. You’re acting on a colossal scale and to think that it won’t have serious effects on us and so many others is just wrong.That’s why you need to tell us and tell us the truth, and that’s also why I’m going to listen, truly listen to what you’re telling me. So, if you please?” He motions to the white board.

                      “Okay.” Shelly slowly stands up and takes the dry erase marker. “Um, where should I start?”

                       “The beginning. What prompted you to embark on this entire affair and become involved with demons in the first place?”

                       “ Hmmm.” Shelly considers, tapping the marker against her left palm. “Do you remember when I was three? And the nightingale took me to hell and left me with Uncle Cr… Crowley? Well, even after dad explained to me that hellhounds are not pets. I still didn’t think it was fair, but that I’d have to be older before he’d listen to me. So I tried again when I was eight. That’s when he really started to explain to me what Demons were and how they were created, and what they did. And he talked about demon deals.

                        “That was when I knew I’d have to find some way to protect Abigail from them. So I thought and thought and thought for years finding out everything I could about demons and finally i came up with a plan. I’d make a deal, but I wouldn’t offer him my soul.” Shelly grins. “I’d offer him his.”


	40. Mental Health Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Abigail do a little mother daughter bonding  
> Luci's first therapy session.  
> Gabriel and Michael bond over impossible children.

             Alex gives a sigh. It figures, not only is Luci hogging all the covers again, but he’s practically snuggling her off the bed entirely. That’s it. Alex plants her feet on the floor and shoves the market cocoa and bundle as hard as she can to the other side of the bed. She’d pull him to the floor, but she really doesn’t want to deal with the consequences of that.

             “Whuh… mo-om.” A hurt looking Abigail pokes her head out of the bundle. 

             “Abby! Oh shit, I mean, I am so sorry. I thought you were your uncle.” Alex apologizes, climbing back on the bed and snuggles her little burrito baby. “Don’t give me that look. There is no reason to make that look, little girl. Put that eyebrow down.  Put… put it down.” She puts her hand over her daughter’s eyes. Abigail just laughs quietly in the blanket. “I’m sorry.” She hugs her daughter again. “How are you?”

               “I don’t know. One of my friends is stuck as a vampire now. My cousin is eligible for sixteen and pregnant. I don’t know what cable show falling in love with your own cousin from another thread of existence would qualify me for but I think I’ll be able to put in an application if he stays here too much longer.” She confesses, hiding her face in the blankets around her. 

            “He’s a cutie.” Alex kisses her head and decides to just lay there with her a bit. She seems to need it.

             “No, mom, he’s beautiful.” Abigail corrects her firmly, which really is kind of accurate. “But he’s actually a wonderful interesting good kind person too. And smart and patient. Yes, he can be a little arrogant and condescending at time. He probably gets that from his mom, though. And he is a bit of a smart ass, though Shelly was more than asking for it. “And now I have to let Jamal know I don’t really like him anymore and I have no idea how to do that. Mom, have you ever broken up with someone you hadn’t started dating yet?”

              “No.” Alex forces herself to keep a straight face at this question.  “In truth I don’t think my romantic experiences really applies to this situation. Maybe your Aunt Claire could help with this one.”

              “Oh,” Abigail sounds so disappointed, Alex wishes she had something better to say about this. 

               “Sorry, kiddo.”

               “This is all abba’s fault. He asked if I had a crush on him. I told him that it made no sense and I couldn’t possibly like Ben that way, but I just keep thinking about it now, and everything and I think that maybe I do. ”Ah, so that’s how it’s her father’s fault, by making her actually think about it.  

                “It happens.” Alex sympathises. “But better to know it’s happening than to be caught unawares. Feelings you deny just grow stronger and stronger until you listen to them. I’d love to go into this more, but we have to get out of bed at some point.”

                “Why?”

                “You have school. I have work. We’re already late for both.” Alex tugs on a loose corner of the blanket.

                “Couldn’t I just be irresponsible today?” Abigail looks at her with those big brown eyes. “And just stay home and do nothing but eat sweets go watch tv and not deal with anything or anyone else at all for no reason other than that I want to?”

             “Yes.” Alex kisses her forehead. “Though you’re off to a terrible start.”

              “What do you mean?”

             “Starting a day of irresponsibility by asking permission? I’ll overlook it this time.” Alex stretches and gets out of bed. “I’ll take a shower and call you out, I am unfortunately working from home today, but just ignore us and we’ll ignore you.”

           “Alright. Thank you mom.” Abigail inches herself up a little til her head reaches the pillow.  “I’m just going to stay here a while. If that’s okay.”

            “As long as you need, Abby.” Alex grabs a dress and her towel and closes the door behind her.

            “She’s gone.” She hears Gabriel say, almost broken hearted. “Holy shit her father is going to kill me.” Alex goes out to see Gabriel standing in the middle of the living room looking almost frantic as she grabs her hair.

            “You didn’t talk this over with Sam?” Raphael sounds shocked for some reason.

             “Of course not! He’d never go for something like that. I’m not stupid. He’d just fold and let her do whatever she wants before it came to that.” She gives him a dark look.

             “You, young lady, are late.” Luci points to Alex. “We had an appointment.”

             “Yes, that you were asleep for when I woke up earlier, like I knew you would be when I asked you if you’d be awake for a meeting at that time.”

             “Not my fault, your beloved slipped me decaf.” 

             “Well, I’m taking a shower, we can talk when I’m dressed and caffeinated.” Alex walks over to Gabriel. “Everything okay, Bree?”

            “No. But take care of Luci.” She snaps Alex into her dress. “You. Go.” Gabriel nudges Luci towards Alex’s office.

             “Are you…” Luci starts, but her sister cuts her off.

             “Yes. I’m… I’m going to go talk to Michael.” Gabriel says with same filled resignation. “A sister to sister sort of thing.” 

              “Oh like she’d know what to do.” Luci protests indignantly. Raphael’s lack of objection to this statement speaks volumes.

              “She can commiserate at least.” Gabriel takes a breath and walks out of the apartment.

              “Oh, honey.” She can hear Alex say as she tries to bring up the courage to knock and ask her big sister for help with her colossal screw up. “Abby’s taking a day off and the hospital called, you have some extra lab time.” Screw knocking, she’ll just go in. Miqa will get suspicious if she knocks. Much to her surprise Shelly is there sitting on the floor looking over baby clothes with Michael and the twins, and Ben who’s neatly packing the chosen selection into boxes.

              “Ohhh, look at these little shooooes.” Shelly squeals.

              “I see them.” Michael sighs looking at the little sneakers. “They make no sense at all. They cost the same as adult footwear and you have to replace them in months, but they’re just so adorable.” He confesses.

                “Auntie look! Ben made us funnel cakes.” Riley holds up a plate. Shelly doesn’t bother to acknowledge her mother’s presence, but she does become silent.

                “Give us a moment.” Michael instructs the children, patting Shelly’s shoulder as he gets up. It’s absolutely unbelievable. That Shelly came here to her name sake, and that she seems to have won Michael over in the bargain. It’s a feeling of complete and utter helplessness that she doesn’t really know how to deal with. Name on, let’s go spar.” Michael pets her arm.

                 “What?”

                 “You heard me.” Michael pulls her down the hall, “You’re going soft. Do you even exercise that body of yours?”

                 “Not in ways you want to hear about.”

                 “You’re probably out of practice, completely in every single martial skill.” He states this as if it’s a fact, which she absolutely does not want to acknowledge as true.

                 “Oh, like there’s ever actually a challenge.” She scoffs, following him down the stairs.

                 “Don’t jinx it.” He tweaks her nose.

                 “Don’t even pretend you don’t have something to say to me. It’s been a while but I do remember the old ‘wear out Gabriel so she can’t run away when it’s time to scold or discipline her’ ploy.”

                 “I just thought you needed to let out some frustration and nervous energy.”

                 “Not with you. And unless you want to go demolish the cake bar at my favorite buffet, I don’t think we have any bonding to do.” She snorts. “I know I kind of lost it with Michelle…”

                   “I understand.” Michael smiles. “Believe me I understand. Just humor me a little.”

                  “Uggghhh, fiiiine.” Gabriel groans. Why not get a beatdown from Michael today? That would just make the whole week complete.”

                “Did you ever update the security on that thing?” Luci taps the back of Alex’s laptop screen.

                “I’m not connected to the internet and I have a password I can remember that I update every year like clockwork.” Alex confirms. “It’s definitely not taped to the bottom anymore.”

                 “Is it Cherub13<3?” Luci asks. Alex pauses and looks at her. “You had changed it to Cherub<3 when after Abigail was born.”

                  “I fucking hate you sometimes.”

                  “How professional.” Luci grins at her annoyed sister in law.

                  “I’m recording the sessions. Not to be shared but to takes notes on later. I do that with all the pain in the ass patients that know how to press my buttons.” Alex takes a soda from the little fridge on her desk. Luci chuckles and takes a drink. “So I guess the first thing to talk about is what would make life worth living?”

                   “Excuse me?” Luci frowns. 

                   “You want to end your life. What’s wrong with it? What would make it better and worth sticking around for?” Alex leans back, giving her brother in law her full attention.

                   “There’s nothing wrong with my life.” Luci replies, recovering himself.

                   “There must be. Is it Michael? I know he can be very.. Michael sometime.” Alex prods. Luci just looks at her. “Is it the twins? I know they can be a handful. And they orchestra, it’s kind of a mess. So are the rest of us to be honest.” She shrugs. “Having to put up with your sister being married to someone you hate, it’s just not enough and too much sometimes.”

                    “Having trouble at home?” Luci asks dryly, resting his head on his hand.

                    “No. I actually kind of like my life. It’s not what I ever thought it would be or tried to make it but I’m happy with it. Besides I have in my life proof in the restorative powers of love, compassion, and honesty.” 

              “I hope you’re not talking about me. I just might throw up.”

               “No, I’m not. I have no idea where you really are and what’s real and what’s not. I probably never will.” This decoration seems to surprise him slightly. Of all people he thought Alex had faith in his sincerity. He thought her an idiot for doing so, but still, she never let on that she didn’t trust him.

                “I’m impressed. With your skill at deceit and manipulation.” He grudgingly admits.

                 “I haven’t been deceiving or manipulating anyone least of all you.” Alex replies evenly. “And you know that.”

                 “No? All this time you managed to convince me that you cared about me, even if just as Raphael’s brother. That you trusted me at least a little, enough to believe I was actually trying to be better than I was. I thought you were stupid and foolishly optimistic but congratulations, you actually fooled me.”

                  “Oh don’t give me that. We both know the two statements aren’t mutually exclusive? I know you know better than that. I simply know that you are a more talented liar than I could ever hope to see through and that I have no way of knowing the truth of what you tell me, whether it’s an intentional deception, just part of your habit of lying to yourself or just being wrong. The only difference is that respect between you and anyone else is I’m that much less likely to be able to tell. So yes, I take everything you say at face value as in how you want me to interpret it and respond in kind. Because what’s the point in doing otherwise.” Alex starts to feel a bit uncomfortable as Luci just stares at her.

                  “What’s the point? I’m the Devil, little girl. That’s the point.”

                  “Are you?” Alex rests her head on her hand.

                  “I will never be anything else.” Is Luci’s calm, steady reply.

                   “Maybe it seems that way, but at one point you probably thought that you’d never be anything but Heaven’s shining star either.” Instead on answering, Luci just gets to his feet and walks out.

               “Okay, so an epic DDR battle was infinitely more fun than what i was expecting, but I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.”  Gabriel admits as she and her big sister recline on the large fluffy bean bag in the corner, each with a big jar of honey sticks in their laps.

                “I don’t envy you. I had to deal with the three of you, but not all combined into one person.”

                “Please. Raphael was never any trouble.” Gabriel snorts.

                “Not after you arrived, no. He shaped up considerably. I was disappointed when you didn’t react to our younger siblings the same way.”

                “Yeah, yeah. So, what did she tell you?”

                “Everything. I hate to admit it, but the child is an impressive tactician and quite the magnificent bastard for her age. She’s overconfident and actually seems to have an excessive sense of responsibility and not a lack of it as she seems to project, but she does need more guidance than we thought.” Michael of course doesn’t not feel the need to enlighten Gabriel as to the extent of this everything Shelly told her.

                 “So you’re not going to lecture me about my parenting?” Gabriel ventures, looking up at Michaels.

                 “No. Dad only knows I didn’t know what I was doing and screwed up royally with all of you. I just don’t understand why you’re trying to do what I did. Especially after seeing it fail so spectacularly with Helel.” Michael gives his little sister a squeeze.

                 “Well, when you put it that way. it does seem really dumb.” She sighs. ‘What do I do?”

                 “Hell if I know.” Is the unhelpful reply.

                 “What did you do to make her confess everything?” Gabriel demands a bit grumpily.

                 “I promised to listen until she was finished and not interrupt and only ask questions for clarification purposes, to make certain I understand what she’s telling me.” Is the unexpected reply. Gabriel sits up and stares down at Michael.  “Yes?”

                  “Who are you and what have you don’t with my sister?” She eyes his suspiciously. Michael just gives her a look.

                  “I’m a lot older than I was then, Gabriel. And more experiences. I have changed and grown and learned from my mistakes.”

                  “And had extensive therapy. Which it seems Luci’s finally consented to Possibly medication, too.”

                “I’m sure he has.” Michael replies coolly to this news.

                “C’mon, Miqa, you knew he was an over dramatic dick when you married him and when you decided to have the twins. But it’s kind of serious. He tried to kill himself.”

                 “If that was true, he’d be dead.”

                 “He would have been if not for that damn hellhound pup and Alex deciding to go after him and make sure he was okay after finding out about your fight. We never would have known what he did or where his body was, either. Or at least not for a very very long time.”

                   “Don’t talk to me about Helel, right now, Gabriel. I’m not in the mood.” Michael asserts.

                   “I’m not talking to you about Helel, I’m talking to you about Luci. You keep calling him that. All the time and you know he hates it. He’s just putting up with it because he loves you.And that’s a hell of a lot.” She scolds him.

                    “Not. Now.” Michael repeats slowly, almost threateningly.

                    “Alright. He’s in good hands anyways. It can wait. So I should stop trying to parent and what? Just listen to the pregnant murdering knight of hell that is my daughter?”

                      “Don’t be contrary. You asked me what I did and I told you. I don’t know what to tell you to do. What did you wish I would have done with you?”

                       “I don’t know. That you’d have cut me a little slack. Stop making me try to do everything your way. But she’s not doing things I did and I absolutely did pull shit I should have been grounded for that our brother got me out of. I don’t know how to make her listen to me.”

                  “You can’t make someone listen, you can convince them it’s in their best interests too, but that’s not.. I’m going to be honest, after a certain point I was just too tired and too frustrated to come about anything after than that you just did as you were told. There are times I wouldn’t have even cared if it went wrong so long as it was because you did as you were told to do, which is honestly… not really the right way to think of things.” Michael confesses.

                  “I didn’t really realize how hard it was and exhausting it was. I mean, yeah, she’s not my first kid, but I wasn’t exactly as big a disciplinarian with the others as I had to be with her. But I’m just… so busy and I never get to see her enough. Sam was the one she was always closest to and he spoils her like anything. I always had to be the bad guy and it sucks. I’m a fun parent. I can be fun. Everyone knows how fun I am but not Shelly. She just thinks I’m either crazy or someone to be avoided. and I feel like I am sometimes, too and have no idea how to change that with her. Or even if I should because look at everything that’s happened. How does that imply giving her free reign even more.”

                   “Like I said I have no clue. But I do know how you feel. More than anything I know how you feel. So of you ever want to vent your frustration.”

                   “Promises not to point how much I was like that when I was young?” She asks hopefully.

                    “No. Because you absolutely were.”

                    “I was not.”

                    “Possibly worse. Do I have to remind you of that big book of your misdeeds you gave me when you and Sam were engaged?””

                    “Oh come on, when I was sixteen, I never did this sort of thing.”

                    “When you were sixteen years old, years didn’t even properly exist yet. Neither did sexual reproduction. Or asexual reproduction. The idea of a being creating more of itself wasn’t even in the realm of possibility.” Michael reminds her. “And if I recall, your first pregnancy was a little unorthodox in and of itself.”

                     “Well, I yes, you could say that since Shelly was a nephilim, but it was within the confines of wedlock, so really…”

                      “Not that one.” Michael interrupts her. “Your first one.”

                      “What you… you mean Sleipnr? Okay, yes, that was unorthodox and an accident, but I don’t really see what that has to do with this.”

                      “You should probably go back to your daughter. Ask her a few questions. Listen to the answers.” And Michael is actually smiling, which is weird, and intriguing.

                      “Yeah, I guess so.” Gabriel stands up. “Thanks for the match, it did kind of help.”

                      “See, I’m not wrong about everything all the time.” Michael gets to his feet and pats her back. “Alright. Let’s go back.”


	41. Hot and Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harahel makes a decision  
> The nightingale is unhelpful  
> Luci makes things better and worse  
> Ben looses it. Seriously, seriously looses it.

             “Are you alright?” Nathaniel kneels down by Hara as he sits in his favorite corner of the library.

             “I’m fine.” Harahel  lies, his wings wrapped around himself. “I just needed a few minutes.”

             “She had no business talking to you that way. Firing you the way she did. You were doing your job, taking care of her son.”

             “I don’t want to talk about it.”

             “Do you want me to go talk to her? Because I will. You were a wonderful guardian angel. He loved you so much and you were everything he could have needed when he needed it and she has no right to… to just…”

              “Nathaniel.” Hara smiles up at him. “I’m alright. It’s alright really. I was just discussing something with my vessel, that’s all. Don’t do anything foolish for me.”

               “Why not? You do foolish things all the time for every you love. Why not let me do something  foolish for you?” It’s so relaxing having Nathaniel so close, their vibrations singing together. It’s soothing and pleasant and makes Harahel want to ask Nathaniel to go with him, but it’s too dangerous. Nathaniel already faced that danger while Hara was confined to the library. He shouldn’t have to again.

                “I love you, too.” Hara rubs his cheek against his darling’s. “And I’ll always think you have the prettiest wings in all of heaven. Thank you for loving me. Even after I was being a heartless bastard.”

                 “Regardless of the circumstances, you had a right to be. Are you sure you’re okay?”

               “Yes. Even better now.” Hara takes a breath. “I have to go run an errand. Will you go look after the library until I get back?”

                “Of course.” Nathaniel reluctantly lets go. “Are you sure I can’t do it for you?”

               “I want to do it. But thank you. I’ll see you when I get back.”  Hara gives Nathaniel’s cheek a final caress and drops through the open floor, returning to earth.

               “Oh for Dad’s sake, not you again.” Bree gives a disgusted sigh as Hara shows up at the hotel pool yet again.

                “I’d have thought you’d be happy to see me. I’ve been fired and the news of my disgrace is probably spreading as a we speak.” He tightens his lips. Bree just snickers.

                “Yeah, I am kind of happy about that. But that doesn’t mean I want to see you for any particular reason.”

                “I need your help again.” Hara’s request is practically a command. Bree just raises her eyebrows at this. The little angel’s brass balls are getting more annoying than entertaining.

                 “What are you? A glutton for punishment?”

                 “I need to get into Purgatory and I was hoping you’d help me get past your brothers so I could. Maybe help me with a couple spells.”

                  “You want to get into purgatory.” Bree sits up on the lawn chair, pushing the sun lamp out of the way. “You do. You know what’s in there, right? Pretty much everything you are unequipped to handle and you will shine like a beacon, drawing each and every one of them to you. there are easier ways to commit suicide, you know. Ways that don’t end up with Helel holding me responsible. I’m on probation, my little bibliophile, why would you even ask me any of this?”

                    “Because I probably will die and you’re the only one who wouldn’t care about that or even pretend to, that could also help me do this. Will you?”

                    “No. And I should call Helel and tell her about this right away, but since I don’t want to deal with this crap right now, I’m  going to just let you go back home and think about this some more. Because you not only need someone who doesn’t care about your welfare, you need someone who doesn’t care about pissing off Helel and that is going to be hard to find. So get lost and go back to your damn library.” And Harahel’s gone, leaving the nightingale behind. “Little idiot. What the hell is he trying to do anyways?”

  
  


               “Look, you really have to talk to your mom. So you’re going to see Aunt Alex, but seriously I think your mom’s the one who could do with some therapy.” Shelly holds up the little drool stained droopy teddy bear. Ben just sits on the couch, waiting for her to stop talking.  “Aww, remember this, Riley? You would share everything with Chris but not this. This is your little paci-bear. It used to have a pacifier on one end but it fell off when you were teething. You didn’t want another one so you just sucked on the place the pacifier used to be and glared at anyone who tries to take it.”

                “That’s not fair.” Riley grumbles,grabbing the small stuffed bear from her. “You know all our embarrassing stories but we don’t know yours.”

                “That’s because she’s never quiet for long enough for anyone who knows them to tell them. “Ben leans his head back on the arm of the chair.

                “Oh hush, and Riley, that’s simply because there are no embarrassing stories to tell.” Shelly bops her cousin’s nose.

                “Yeah, right.” The twins roll their eyes.

               “It’s true. All my baby stories are lovable and adorable and ubbie dubbie cutesy pie.” Shelly asserts. “So, no embarrassing stories.”

               “I suppose you do have to be capable of embarrassment in order to have embarrassing stories.” Ben turns to face the back of the seat.

               “Don’t mind him.” Shelly instructs the twins. “His nanny cut the apron strings and he’s suffering whiplash.” Shelly pulls over another box. ‘Oh my goodness are these socks? Are all of these wittle baby socks? I can’t believe Aunt Miqa saved all the baby socks. Oh! We should make coin purses and little baby sock monkeys.” She reaches into the box of unsorted unmatched socks. “I had no idea she was this messy, to be honest.”

              “Yeah, Dad ends up doing a lot of the cleaning when they’re both human.” Chris finally speaks. “Of course, he ends up just piling everything on mom’s side of the bed or her chair when he does. And ours.”

              “No, he puts his stuff away, he just puts our stuff or the stuff we used last on our beds so we have to put it away.” Riley corrects him.

               “Oh, right.”

               “Excuse me.” The door opens.  “But why aren’t at least three of you in school?” Luci walks in.

                “Why aren’t you off getting drunk?” Riley retorts.

               “Hey!” Shelly smacks the child’s arm. Riley ignores her.

               “Do you even still live here anymore? I thought you walked out on us. You know, the children you never wanted.” Riley’s crossed arms and set jaw make the child look much like Michael it almost breaks his heart.

              “Ben, Shelly, could you give us a minute?” Luci asks quietly.

              “Sure.” Shelly hops up and kicks at Ben’s ankles. “C’mon.”

              “I’m staying.” Ben says simply as he straightens up into a normal sitting position. “Unless they ask me to go, I’m staying.”

              “I don’t want them to go.” Chris says quietly.

              “You should go.” Riley glares at Luci, completely unforgiving.

              “I just want to apologize.” Luci keeps his voice soft. “That’s all.”

              “No.” Riley shakes her head at the same time that Chris says, ”I forgive you.”

              “What?” Riley turns to him.

              “He’s our dad.” Is all Chris says, looking down.

              “That’s it, you just forgive him? No explanation or actual apology needed? How can you… no. I don’t care. I don’t. And I don’t want to talk about it and I don’t want to talk to you!” Riley storms off to their bedroom.

               “We’re staying home with Mom today.” Chris says quietly. “She’s with Aunt Bree right now, but Shelly’s here right now, so… Any ways, Ben’s staying home, too. He’s kind of upset because of Hara.”

                “Oh, well, Ben, don’t worry too much about it. I’m sure when you tell your father he’ll be able to convince your mother to reinstate Harahel as your guardian angel. If they’re still together this long, he probably knows how to tell her she’s being unreasonable without making her just dig in her heels. If you wanted, I could probably tell you what buttons to push to get her to change her mind, but I really don’t think you’re devious enough to pull it off. Or that you want to have that kind of relationship with your mother.” Luci nods to him. Ben just looks at him blankly for a moment, before unexpectedly just getting up and walking out into the hall.

                 “Hara told him that he was leaving because Ben didn’t need him anymore.” Shelly scrunches up her nose. “That it was just ‘time’, he didn’t even imply that it was because Ben’s mom fired him. What was he fired for anyways?”

                  “Doing his job.” Luci covers his eyes and sighs. “Why would that little angel protect that jealous ungrateful… I thought he had the fortitude to tell Ben the truth. Dad only knows he was angry enough.” Luci scowls at the door. He hates it when he misreads people. It almost never happens, and always just so infuriating.

               “Okay, well, I got my baby bro, so… excuse me.” Shelly heads out after him.

               “Chris, I am sorry.” Luci sits down next to his child, who just looks down at the clothes at his feet. “I know I can’t take it back and that you’re still hurt and angry even if you’ve forgiven me. I hurt you and I was wrong.”

               “Why did you?” Chris doesn’t look up. “You hurt us on purpose. Why would you do that?”

                “I wanted you to hate me.”

                “Why would you want us to hate you?”

                “Because I hate myself.”

                “That’s kind of a bullshit answer, dad.” Chris looks up at him slightly reproachfully.

                 “I know. But it’s the best one I have right now. The least confusing.”

                 “Try me.”

                  “I wanted you to hate me so I couldn’t hurt you more later on. I wanted to innoculate you against me.”

                 “That’s just stupid, Dad. It takes more than one mean thing to make someone hate you. And we can’t hate you because we love you.”

                  “I told you it was confusing.” Luci sighs, not bothering to correct him. Chris will learn soon enough. “I’m a little confused about everything myself honestly. So, I’m not going to be around for a little bit. I’m going to be staying with your Uncle Raphael for a while.”

              “ Across the hall?” Chris gives him a rather wry grin.

               “Yes, across the hall. I’m going to be working with your Aunt Alex on a few things so… just so you know where I am. I’m going to be giving your mother and Riley space until I know what to do. But none of you have to give me space. Understand?” He looks down at Chris, gently nudging him with his side.

                “I guess.”

                “None of you did anything to deserve that. Not even a little and I wish I hadn’t done it. I love the two of you more than I have ever loved any human being that has ever existed. More than I thought I could ever love another human being. maybe it’s because you’re mine. Maybe it’s because you’re hers. Maybe it’s even just because you’re you. I just know that even if all of heaven and earth were against you, I would fight them all. If somehow you were lost to the deepest depths of hell, I would do everything, give everything to get you out. If you were lost in the dark I would never, ever stop trying to bring you to the light.  I don’t care what you’ve done, could do, would do, I would never forsake you, either of you.” He leans over and kisses Chris’ head. “I’m going to try to be a better dad, okay?”

             “I’m okay with you staying the same, Dad.” Chris leans against him. “Just so long as you stay. Uncle Raph’s is fine, just don’t go any farther. I mean, you don’t have to be perfect you know.”

             “Thanks, but I’m pretty far from perfect.”

             “Yeah. We know.” Chris nods, and smiles as Luci tugs on his child’s ear.

             “Smart ass.”

 

             “Woah there, Ben.” Shelly grabs his arm as she follows him through the hastily made opening into his thread. “Easy there. Don’t do anything rash.” She keeps her foot through the hole so it doesn’t close up behind them. “Just come on back, calm down and we’ll… what are you doing? Ben… Ben!” She calls as he disappears around the corner. “Shit.” She swears and goes after him. Or course he would come almost immediately back with a few boxes and bags from one of the closets. Fortunately the opening isn’t closed. “What are you doing?” She tries to take it away, “Don’t…” but he just grabs a pinch from the bag she took and tosses it into a bowl that he places on the floor and sets alight. “Shit.”

              “Ben.” A young woman with Luci’s eyes, and a face and body similar enough to be her sister appears before them. What do you think you are doing? I told you to stay where you were. You are in enough trouble already, young man.”

               “I am so sorry. I’ll just take him back.” Shelly quickly covers  Ben’s mouth with her hand as he opens it to say something.” He had kind of a head start. Don’t worry about it. I’ll try to keep a better eye on him, Ma’am. Ow!” She pulls her hand back. “You bit me! i can’t believe you bit me. What are you three?”

                “SHUT UP!” Ben shouts not clarifying who he’s talking to.

                “He’s talking to me.” Shelly quickly reassures the outright astonished Helel standing before them.

               “Why did you… how could you do this to him? To me? Why?” Ben demands angrily, his hand tightly clenched into fists.

                “Don’t you raise your voice at me.”

                “Don’t you ignore what I’m saying or pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about.” Ben retorts. Shelly covers her face. Unbelievable.

                “Ben,” She calls his name quietly and tugs his sleeve. “Ben, shush.” He just knocks her hand away, not looking at her.

                “How could you do this? How could you take him away from me? There was no reason. Absolutely none. He was a wonderful guardian angel and you had no right….”

                 “Ben.” Shelly hisses.

                 “Silence!” Helel snaps Ben’s voice away, and Shelly’s for good measure. “I had no right? I am your mother. I have every right. That angel was not a fit guardian for you. Maybe he was once, when you were younger but not now. You have repeatedly disobeyed and lied to the both of us, consistently taken advantage of our trust and engaged in activities so dangerous that it would have resulted in both of your deaths had he even been with you as he should have, but for sheer blind luck alone.”

                  “Oh BULLSHIT!” Shelly breaks through the rather simple block. “Don’t you try to turn this on him.” She steps between Ben and his mother right into a rather uncomfortable goosebump inducing freezing cold spot. “Are you seriously so unable to... “ But Helel is having none of it and sends her back through the opening, and wards it.

                   “If he had taught you how to behave yourself, and to love and respect your mother as you should, we wouldn’t be in this situation. If either of you had shown me any respect at all…” A motion from her son’s hands make her stop herself. “What was that?” She asks cooly. He repeats the gesture. “I can’t going to give you one last chance, Ben.” She snaps his voice back.

                  “You are not my mother.” He repeats in clear english this time. “I don’t have a mother. So why should I love and respect you? i used to have a mother, a beautiful wonderful loving self sacrificing mother. One who was forgiving and understanding that I told about my day every single night before I went to bed. I loved her so much and I knew that as much as my angel loved and cared for me, she loved me more. That as wise and knowledgeable as my angel was, she was wiser, knew more, could do more, had done so much more for all of humanity. And I knew that when my mother came back, I would be the luckiest boy in all of existence. But my mother doesn’t exist anymore. I’m starting to think that she never actually did.” There’s a moment of angry silence as Helel tries to collect herself and Ben just waits for her to say something anything against this.

                  “And you wonder why I don’t want him around you anymore? After you speak to me this way? After everything I’ve done for you, all I sacrificed, you tell me I’m not good enough to be your mother?”

                “What have you sacrificed for me? For me. Specifically. What exactly have you given up for my sake?” Ben challenges.

                “My life?” She can’t keep the annoyance from her voice.

                “That wasn’t a sacrifice. That was a consequence. It was going to happen whether you had me or not once you got pregnant with me. Thank you for not being so determined to end my existence that you were willing to die to do it, but don’t you dare tell me that you died for me. I was an accident. I know I was an accident. I’ve always known. I’m the mistake you have to make up for, but I never put it together really until now.

                 “I always believed him about you. That you were do good and loving and trying so hard to be a good mother and all your responsibilities but that’s not true is it?  You’re not doing anything you’re doing to bring me up you’re doing it to live me down. Guess what, though. That’s never going to happen, because I’m a broken worthless fraud of a monster. And not because of anything Harahel did, but because I’m yours.”

              “Don’t you say that.” Helel whispers, the words hurting like nothing has ever hurt before. “Don’t you dare.”

               “Why not? What else can you do to me? You already exiled me to another thread of existence and sent away my angel. You took away the only person who ever made me feel that I was good enough, that I was worth it, that I was completely unquestionably loved no matter what. And why? Because he wasn’t good enough? For who? You? Because he sure as hell was good enough for me. I don’t care what you think of him and for that matter I don’t care what you think of me anymore. I hate you, Helel. However far I made you fall it wasn’t far enough!”


	42. The Truth is Overrated.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Big Sister Shelly practices being a mother and makes up with her own.  
> Nathaniel goes out on a limb for his favorite song, and regrets it immensely  
> Raphael speaks up

             “Shit.” Shelly pushes against the dresser to know avail. You do not talk to Helel that way. He will use his tongue to rip your very soul into shreds, and you can always see the glint of ice fighting with his better nature behind his eyes when you go too far. It’s only because he knows how bad and wrong his impulses are that he holds back as much as he does. A Helel who’s righteous and good and always has been righteous and good? He wouldn’t feel the need. “Ben? Ben, I’m…” The dresser moves and Ben walks back through. Ge’s cold to the touch, but he doesn’t look hurt and the room is empty behind him.

            “Were you worried about me?” He asks starting to thaw a little.

            “I was terrified for you.” Shelly confesses. “I’ve never… I’ve never seen my uncle with his grace before. I’ve never felt his presence like that. I… fucj, I thought he was scary as a human being.” She rubs the back of her neck. “Are you okay?”

             “I don’t know. I’m just… tired. I’m going to go lie down.” He rubs his arm. “Michelle. If you don’t want to stay with your parents, and want to go out on your own, I’ll go with you and help you take care of your baby. You don’t have to get Alice to do it. I can pass for sixteen. I’ll get a job and keep house. You know, things like that.” He says dully with a tired shrug.

              “If that’s what you want. I won’t ever turn you away. Okay?” Shelly pats his head and hugs him. “Are you hungry? Do you need anything?”

               “I’m just tired, that’s all.”

               “C’mon. My room’s nearby. You can rest there. If you don’t mind Indigo. I was kind of in a sparkly evening twilight kind of mood when I redecorated.” She warns him, leading him to her room. though the indigo isn’t as jarring as the orange rug or silver sparkles.

                “Thank you.” He plops down on the sparkly silver comforter and grabs hold of the sunset orange pillowcase.

              “Here. This place gets a little chilly.” Shelly folds the comforter over him and tucks him in.

              “I’m fine. Just leave me alone, please.”

              “Okay.” Shelly sighs and takes out her giant gummy bear jar full of candy and places it on her bed stand, open end facing down before closing the door behind her.

              “Hey there.” She jumps a little as her mother speaks.

              “Hi.” Shelly composes herself, tugging down her shirt.

              “So, about earlier.” Gabriel starts, a lot more calmly than in their last conversation.

               “I’ll do my best.” Shelly responds just as quietly.

               “I… was going to ask if we could pretend this morning never officially happened. I still am even though you’re agreeing to my demands.” Gabriel gives a smile.

               “Yeah. We can do that.” Shelly nods a similar smile on her face.

               “So, are you going to tell me what’s going on so we can decide what to tell your father about this baby?” Her mother pats her belly.

               “Auntie Miqa didn’t tell you?”

               “No, she doesn’t do helpful things like that. she makes you do your own dirty work.” Gabriel crosses her arms. “I’m sorry I yelled at you honey. I’m.. having a hard time and too, it out on you. Just… we’re your parents. Will you please just let us be your parents and maybe be our daughter for at least a few more years.”

                “I am your daughter, mom.” Shelly sighs, leaning against the wall.

               “You know what I mean. We’re not some obstacle to you having a life or doing what you think is right. And we’re not your enemy either. We’re your family, and we care about you and we just want you to be smart and good and not accidentally hurt yourself and others. Or make mistakes you can’t take back.”

                “I never meant to hurt dad, you know that right? Or do you or anyone. I was trying to…”

                “I know. You were trying to do everything yourself, keep everyone you loved out of harm’s way, for their sake. Take the world onto your shoulders. You are such a fucking Winchester.” Gabriel smiles at this though, making her daughter relax a little. “So, Michael tells me you’re a fairly decent manipulative bastard. Significant comment from someone who’s known your Uncle Luci longer than anyone alive. So I’m kind of curious. C’mon.” She waves her daughter to follow her to the main hall, and hops up onto the nearest 3 shelf bookcase to talk at eye level.

                 After explaining everything to Michael, it’s much easier for Shelly the second time. Especially as she bursts out laughing several times during the telling. Especially when Shelly explains the deal she made.

                 “So I’m guessing dad would take it just as badly if he knew I was kind of pregnant with Crowley as he did when he thought it was Crowley’s child. Though it is and yet it isn’t?” Shelly tries to explain a little better. “I mean, it’s his soul. But it’s bits and pieces of it from before he was Crowley. It won’t be very strong. He won’t be able to use it for anything but existing, but it’s enough to count for the deal.”

                   “Michelle.” Gabriel sighs, putting a hand on hers. “Crowley’s soul, the rest of his adult soul, is not going to just disappear. It’s in the abyss now and when this one dies, they aren’t going to stay separated. The demon is not going to be freed and pulled into either heaven or hell to rule again, your child is going to be pulled to it in the abyss. And it doesn’t matter how long you put it off, a piece of a soul is not going to heal in there. That soul has no chance of healing until every person who ever even knew of it’s existence in any form in any manner is gone from the face of this earth.”

                   “How do you know?” Shelly challenges. “The abyss just came into being. I know this hasn’t been done before.”

                     “How do I know? Because I made the abyss and I made it the way it is because this kind of thing has absolutely been done before. You are a brilliant creative child, but you are hardly the first creative and brilliant child. There are quintillions of people who came before you. Millions upon millions who refuse to accept death, and hundreds of thousands who came very very close to doing something about it.

             “They’ve tried catching a dying soul and putting it into a newborn baby. The baby died when the soul it was born with was shoved out in the process. When they figured out how to make a baby with the old soul the child.. the nightmares of a prison life, especially of a life as dark and evil as the man who would do such a thing, no child can handle such things. Some died, some became insane, some were killed by terrified adults. It was kind of a terrible thing to do to a kid. So I erased the information. Took me about three hundred years to get it all, and it’s probably still up in heaven library somewhere. How did you learn it by the way?”

           “What, to take pieces of his soul? Uncle Helel taught me to how siphon off small pieces of my soul and my grace so I could feed Georgie. I just used that to take tiny pieces of him every few years when he was growing up until I had enough.” She shrugs. Her mother just sighs and runs her hands back through her hair.

           “What are you going to do, Michelle? Raise him? Love him? Make him a good man, do everything for him to make him happy and fulfilled, and then condemn that child to the nightmares of his past as his soul, reunited with it in the abyss?”   
            “It’s still a better chance than he had in his first one and he’ll have the good parts of this one to bolster him up and help him heal and get better and then when he’s ready he can come back and do things right.” Shelly covers her stomach protectively. “Do you know what the worst thing is?”

             “What, honey?”

             “He wasn’t a bad person when he was alive. No one who went to hell because of a deal was. They were just vulnerable and alone and made a bad decision. Some didn’t even know they made them. I know he’s bad. I know he’s evil and ruthless and broken, and corrupt. But he was in hell, mom. It breaks you. It breaks Uncle Dean. The cage broke Aunt Michael, in both threads. He never had a chance, but there was something special in him that let him survive and even thrive.

             “This time, he’ll be loved and supported and nurtured and held dear the way a child should be. And maybe when he’s an adult, he’ll be strong enough to go and take back the rest of his soul and face what he’s done and survive and heal and grow from it just like Uncle Helel. And he won’t have to do it alone. I know it’s not great, mom. But it’s still better than doing nothing. It’s second chance and he deserves a second chance.”

             “And if he can’t? If he’s not strong enough, then what will you do? Honey, Shelly bean, I don’t care about him. I care about you, and your big heart, and I don’t want to see it broken. And forget him not being saved and healed, what if he just plain doesn’t understand. What if he blames you? There is nothing in this world worse than being hated by your own child. Or even just one you’ve taken and loved as your own from the start. I don’t want any of that for you.”

             “Well it’s too late for that. He’s mine now.”

             “Oh, Shelly Belly.” Gabriel sighs, leaning over to hug her daughter. “Why are you so damn tall?” Shelly just laughs and pats her mother’s head.

             “It’s a mystery, I guess. Maybe we should ask Dad.” She muses.

             “Yeah, yeah, alright. Ahhh, your dad. Okay, here’s the deal. You’re not pregnant with Crowley, you’re pregnant with Gavin.”

             “Who the hell is Gavin?” Shelly wrinkles her nose.

             “Fergus MacCleod’s human son. Maybe he was a good man when he made that stupid demon deal, but after it he sure as hell wasn’t. And yes, he did mellow a bit since the whole curing a demon thing, which was kind of hillarious when Sam told me about it. But I dunno. It sounded like he had real paternal feelings for the kid later on. Maybe Sam will believe that’s it. That or an attempt at manipulating you and a way to make himself further ingrained into the barbed poison ivy safety net that is our family bond, but  you know, you killed him anyways, so… We’ll work out the details later.” Gabriel waves it off. “You are such a little pain in the ass, you know that, right?”

              “What can I say? I learned from the best!” Shelly gives her sweetest most winning smile, which probably wouldn’t work on her father so much if her mother ever pointed out how exactly like her uncle’s it is. Not that Sam’s ever seen Luci with that particular smile.

              “Dad help me, you absolutely did.”  Gabriel sighs. “Alright, so, what’s your plan now? For all of this.”

                “Well, my own personal plan was to take the test and get my GED, get an apartment become a stripper have my baby, date Alice, take care of my cousins and baby brother, and work on enforcing Hell when needed. Beyond that.. I was just going to wing it.”

                “Oh, for the love of… Alright, well we can work or that. I have heaven and the abyss fairly well in hand. I guess I can try to manage hell, too, somehow. Come on, let’s go make your father some salads. maybe we can make his tea extra strong while we talk to him about this. And you young lady are talking to your Uncle Raphael about a proper diet.”

                 “Yeah, yeah…” Shelly groans and heads off to the kitchen. “Hold on, let me just text Abby something first.”

 

                “Wait, what do you mean you can’t deliver this?” Nathaniel frowns at the angel hands him back the scroll.

               “Um, this is supposed to go to… to Raphael. He’s in hell which requires special permission and we’re not supposed to give him anything Helel hasn’t read and I can’t find her anywhere, so I’m giving it back in case the message is time sensitive so Harahel can find another way of getting it to him. I assume you know where your partner is.”

                “No, he’s running an unspecified errand. But I have had it up to here with Helel Ben Sahar.” Nathaniel grabs the scroll and holds it above his head. “I’ll deliver it, since you won’t. Even if I have to close the library to do it.”

                “I wouldn’t…”

                “You didn’t.” Nathaniel snaps, and ushers him out the doors. “Alright. Everybody out! Out!” It just takes a few minutes to clear the angels, and a few more to head towards where the elder archangels are standing guard. They’re oddly silent, not looking at each other. Not that Raphael and Michael were the chattiest ones. Of course, as Nathaniel approaches, they both turn their gaze to him.

                “Nathaniel.” Raphael greets him by name, which is not surprising because he always knows every angel’s name, just like Helel, and it’s just as intimidating that he does. Of course, now Michael, who appears to have his grace again, might know him by name and that’s just plain horrifying. “I assume you have business here that involves more than just standing there staring at us in terror.”

                “Yes. Harahel sent this to you.” He hands over the scroll.

                “And why didn’t the messengers bring it to me?” He asks.

                “They’re not allowed to deliver messages to you without Helel reading them first and they can’t find her.” Nathaniel feels no compunction at all about informing him of the policy that Helel probably didn’t want him informed of.  Raphael doesn’t seem surprised. “They returned it in case it was time sensitive.”

                “Why would Ben’s guardian angel send a letter to Raphael?” Michael frowns.

                “You didn’t hear? Harahel’s not Ben’s guardian angel anymore. Saint Lucifer fired him and sent him back to the library full time.”

                “You can inform Harahel that if he ever wishes to leave heaven, I will welcome him with open arms.” Raphael’s reply only partly surprises Nathaniel.

                “Raphael!” Michael reproaches him.

                “Michael, it’s only going to get worse for the little one from here. He’s never let me near Ben so he can’t reasonably blame his problems on me, even slightly. Harahel is well no his way to being your shining star’s new punching bag. Not that I expect you to do anything more for him than you did for me. “ Raphael retorts and opens the scroll.

               “I’m sorry.”  Michael’s apology absolutely stuns Nathaniel. He is not just apologizing, but he’s apologizing to the angel who pushed him into the cage. Raphael just concentrates on the letter. It must be absolutely captivating because he can’t possibly just be ignoring Michael. Maybe it would be better for Nathaniel to leave.

             “It’s a request to pass along a message to my counterpart. Nathaniel, bring me my wife.” Oh holy fuck no!

             “I.. what? I can’t…” Nathaniel starts before Michael’s steady look in his direction make him remember who he’s talking to. “Yes, sir.” He takes off. “Wait.” Nathaniel returns almost instantly. “I.. I don’t know where she is. You’ve protected her from our detection, remember?” He informs them meekly.

             “Allow me.” Michael snaps his fingers and Bree appears before them on a lawn chair with mild burns from falling asleep under the sunlamp. Why didn’t just do that in the first place instead of Raphael sending him off.

             “Gabriel.” Raphael barks, making her wake with a start.

             “Ow. ow ow.” She winces as she moves. “Oh for the love of all that is…”

             “Is there something you’d like to tell us?” Raphael crosses her arms. “About Harahel?”

             “No.” She shoots back, with a scoff. “Oh, wait, yeah.” She snaps her fingers making Nathaniel flinch even though he knows she’s powerless. He should go. Shouldn’t he? Or would moving only draw attention to himself? “He got fired.” Bree laughs.  “He actually came and asked me, ME, to help him convince Helel to let Ben see a therapist Because he was smart enough at least to know she wouldn’t listen to him. I told him I would if he talked to her about it first. And that Idiot actually did.” She laughs so hard she half slips off the lawnchair as she goes to get up. She obviously can’t see the look Raphael is giving her at this or she wouldn’t keep laughing. “Oh to be a fly on that wall.” She sighs, just continuing. How does she have the nerve? “Really I should have had him do it there at the pool. Can you imagine that conversation? ‘Helel, your son needs therapy’  ‘Who are you calling a bad mother? How dare you?’ “ It’s irritating how well she captures their vocal patterns when speaking, even if it is in an exaggerated fashion. Though the attitudes of the flapping mouth thing she’s doing with her hands matching is even more irritating mostly because of  how hillarous it is.

            “What are you talking about?” Michael finally speaks, looking a little confused at the mock conversation.

            “Oh come now, Michael. She’s simply referring to that little vital intractible thing deep at the innermost core of Helel’s very being that drives him unceasingly and with unparalleled force to make absolutely everything about himself.” Rapahel explains calmly. Nathaniel bursts out laugh before he can catch himself and quickly covers his mouth with hand and wing. He is fairly sure that neither the nightingale or the daughter of darkness would appreciate it, even if they did agree with their brother’s remark.

             “Yeah.” Bree gives a happy sigh. “It’s almost time to rename the baby then I guess.” The smug look on her face is a little confusing.

            “He is thirteen, Gabriel. No one is renaming him. I cannot believe you set him up for this. Did you ever even intend to follow through on your end?” Raphael demands, surprising Nathaniel with his apparent concern for Hara’s wellbeing.

            “Hell no. Do I look like an idiot? I’m in enough trouble as it is, thank you very much.”

            “She doesn’t have to.” Nathaniel ventures, the anger from the affair coming back. “Your brother just blamed all of Ben’s problems on my Harahel agreed to therapy sessions for his son.”

            “Oh that is just so much better. Man, I’m almost starting to think I could have helped him sneak through.” Bree shakes her head. “Oh man. this is really kind of hurting me. Help a girl out, lover?” She blows her husband a kiss. He is completely unmoved.

            “Sneak through where?” He demands. Of course what’s most confusing to Nathaniel is that Michael is not taking the lead in this little interrogation. Not that he expects her to care about Harahel, or that Nathaniel wants him to given what happened the last time his little angel caught her attention. But he’d always been front and center to take the lead when dealing with Gabriel before.

            “He wanted me to help him get into purgatory probably to rescue that vampire which Helel’s now specifically forbidden everyone to do. I mean yeah, I could probably wiggle out of actual punishment thanks to the wording and stuff but she is not mood for that.” She whistles and walks over to him. “Please, honey, it hurts to move.”

             “Does it now?” Raphael’s arms remain crossed.

             “Oh don’t give me that look. I told him to go back to his library and pointed out the only kind of person who’d help him that could, would also have to both not care if he dies and not care about pissing off Helel and well, good luck finding that mythical creature.”

             “You mean Azrael? “Raphael says with forced calmness.

             “Huh, oh yeah, I forgot about her. But no, no…” Bree holds her head out. “It invokes a resurrection. She’ll never agree to helping with that in anyway. she takes her job way more seriously than she dislikes Helel. So, relax. Mousey smurf will be back in his library soon enough.  You know, where he belongs alone and generally unnoticed and unimportant to the the way things are supposed to be.”

              “Perhaps you should have considered the effects on your relationship before you tried to kill him.”

             “Are you seriously objecting to that? “She retorts. “You hate him, you still hate him and you did kill him.”

             “I did not.”

             “Well… not kill, let him die…”

             “I DID NOT LET HIM DIE!” Raphael shouts.

             “Well, so maybe not you know.. .it was more of a psychological kind of.. subconscious thing.” Bree moves closer, reaching up to caress his cheek. “You tied, you just didn’t try hard enough because you couldn’t because psychological blocks and repressed emotions and stuff like that. I know it wasn’t on purpose.”

              “I have never repressed or hidden any of my feelings about my brother.” he brushes her hand away.

              “Oh come on, you absolutely were then. You were actually being kind and pleasant to him and you two were talking and you even played chess with him. So yeah, he was sucking up so he wouldn’t die and you were suppressing your hatred or Ben’s sake. Look it was an impossible position. You tried to try your best but you were just way too emotionally damaged and that’s not your fault.” She hugs him despite the discomfort. He just pushes her away completely.

               “I did do my best. He was too early, they were both fighting so hard to survive and I gave it everything I had and it wasn’t enough. I was barely able to keep Ben alive, you don’t know… you don’t… Yes I hate him but he’s my brother and I didn’t want him to die. Because I wasn’t faking anything. He fooled me and I wanted to forgive him and maybe try to be the brothers our counterparts were and I just fought so hard.  Is that what you want to hear? Is that somehow better? That I tried my hardest and it just wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough just as he always knew I wouldn’t be. I might as well have just let him die. I should have that absolute bastard, But I didn’t.”

                 “Raph…” Michael and Bree both reach out for him at the same time, but he just steps back and takes off.

              


	43. Where in Nothing Gets Better and Nobody Gets Along

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helel discusses parenting with Mule, talks to Raphael and Bree and Michael have a conversation largely free of violence.

          “Wait, what do you mean you fired Harahel?” Mule pushes himself away from his tearful wife, as if that was the important thing.

         “I mean that I decided that he was no longer an appropriate guardian for my son and so I removed him from the position and sent him back to the library where he belongs.” Helel says cooly.

           “You fired him…” Mule sounds as if he doesn’t believe it. Which is ridiculous because he himself had said he didn’t think that Harahel was really guardian angel material at first, and only humored the request for her sake.  “You fired Ben’s angel. Harahel has been there since he was born you can’t just take him away from Ben like that.”

            “Yes. I can. I am his mother.” Helel stiffens. This is not how it was supposed to go. Mule was supposed to listen and understand and somehow make everything alright as he always seems to be able to do.  Is he really taking that mouthy useless little brat’s side in this?

            “And I’m his father. You didn’t even discuss this with me, Helel.” 

            “Why would I? You don’t make decisions about Ben. You don’t do anything. You’re just… there. Sometimes.” Helel retorts, though her words evoke a hurt look on his face.  “You said it yourself. You left, more than you should have. You just let Harahel take care of him.” 

             “Maybe I did, but I was there more than you are now.” His cheeks are slightly red.

             “I am in charge of all of heaven. I’m not running away from our child. I’m not there any longer than I absolutely have to be.”

            “Are you sure because the seven years you were gone they did fine without you.” Mule snaps. Helel just stares at him. “You’re here maybe an hour every day. Maybe if you tried a little harder to actually be here for Ben he wouldn’t still be such a stranger to you. He needs you every bit as much as he needs us.” Us? Did he just refer to Harahel and himself as an ‘us’?

            “Maybe if you were an actual parent to our child after I DIED giving birth to him, I wouldn’t have been replaced by some pathetic mouthy weak little insignificant librarian! Or did you want that? Well, I’m sorry if my return kept you from completing your happy little family!” She shouts, but he’s just silent for a brief horrified moment. 

            “Please…. please tell me you did not fire him because you think Ben loves him too much.” The accusation seems to completely ignore most of what she just said, she seems oddly glad about that.

              “No, I fired him because he is a weak pathetic useless creature and I must have been out of my mind to assign him to anyone as a guardian angel much less to my son.” 

               “Our son, Helel. You had no right to make that kind of decision on your own. And I don’t just mean firing him I meant assigning him in the first place.” 

              “I have no right?” Helel laughs. “To assign or reassign guardian angels? Who here is the ruler of heaven? Me or you?” 

              “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought I was talking to my wife about our son.” Mule gets to his feet and heads to the door.

              “So you’re walking out again. just running away instead of being a husband and father.” You wanted to discuss things, Let’s discuss things.” Helel snaps the door shut before he can open it.

              “What’s the point?” Mule just opens it again. “After all, who am I to say anything to Saint Lucifer?” He slams the door behind him and heads down the street to his brother’s. A very strong part of her want to pull him back, make him talk to her, and take it back. Another part of her wants to just hurt something, break something, anything, everything. But it’s hardly the first time she’s fought those feelings down, so he just escapes to some place cold and barren where it doesn’t really matter what he does.

          Unfortunately it doesn’t stay as empty as he thought it would, since absolutely the last angel he wants to see appears.

          “Unbelievable.” Raphael mutters as he makes out his frozen brother in the darkness. 

          Helel just ignores him. The last thing she needs is more trouble with Michael. Maybe if she just pretends he isn’t there, he won’t be. She’s not sure why he’s here anyways, he hates the cold, and isn’t too fond of water, either.

            “Are you having a bad day?” From the tone of Raphael’s voice it’s clear he doesn’t actually care in the slightest. Of course, he wouldn’t just leave. Being unwanted doesn’t phase him and he has no respect for seniority. At least not when it comes to Helel. ”Has attempting to destroy another one of your little brothers worn you out? Congratulations, Helel. You may actually have succeeded this time.”

            “What are you talking about?” Helel looks up.

            “I’m talking about you and your pathological need to make someone feel absolutely worthless. Were you getting bored with me or was I just not available enough so you had to turn your venom on the smallest weakest damn angel in heaven?”

            “Oh, so I see you don’t actually know what you’re talking about either. That’s fine then. Business as usual. Get out of here. You’re supposed to be on guard duty.” Helel buries her head into her arms again.

             “Yes and you’re supposed to be grounded, in your room, thinking about what you’ve done. How is that going?”

             “Oh fuck you, Raph.”

             “You don’t even care about him, do you? Did you ever have one smidgen of brotherly love for Harahel or were you always just using him to inflate your own ego or test your charisma? So tell me, how badly can you treat someone and still have them love you?” It’s amazing how well Raphael’s voice carries in the arctic snowstorm.

             “Yes i cared about him. I trusted him with my child didn’t I? And what did he do? He stole him from me and wharped his mind. He made my baby hate me.” 

             “I can’t believe you’re actually trying to get sympathy from me.” Raphael shakes his head and turns slightly away, as if the sheer nerve of it was “You know damn well Ben does not hate you. And No one stole Ben from you. Harahel has been telling him nonsense about how wonderful you are from the day you died. Don’t pretend you don’t know that.”

              “Yes. I know that. He set up an impossible image of some perfect being that I could never ever hope to live up to. He knew what a flawed imperfect being I was. What did he think was going to happen when Ben found out what a terrible being I really am.”

              “I had no idea you were aware you were a terrible being.” Raphael sits down in front of him. The fact that Helel doesn’t hit him or even bother to glare at him, makes him feel concerned, which pisses him off. “Ben doesn’t hate you, he hasn’t known you nearly long enough to know you well enough to hate. If you actually listened to what people are saying to you instead of just making it all about you the way you always do, you’d know that.”

               “Oh really?” Helel finally looks up, angry. “And what part of. “You’re not my mother. I have no mother.’ and ‘ I hate you Helel. However far I made you fall it wasn’t far enough.’ Did I not understand?” Raphael has to admit that the last one is especially hurtful, just not out loud. Of course it sounds like something he’d expect a child to Helel to say. At least when this particular inheritance from Ben’s mother came out, it was directed in an appropriate direction.  “Tell me, Raphael, what part of my son saying these to me did I misinterpret?”

               “The part where it’s YOUR damn son saying them. Apparently he can be every bit as cruel and over dramatic as you are.”

               “No, you don’t know my Ben. He doesn’t behave this way, he doesn’t say things like this.”

                “He just never lost his temper with you before, that’s all. You missed that stage. His terrible twos started when he was one and a half. His mind growing faster than his body, not to mention his grace. It was very frustrating for him. He was a sensitive little thing. Used to cry so easily. He must have told Harahel he hated him at least a dozen times before he even turned two.”

                “I didn’t realize you were so involved in his upbringing.” Helel comments bitterly. Apparently everyone seems to think they were more of a parent to Ben then she was. Never mind that she was dead. 

               “I wasn’t. I was just… there. Just in case there was anything Harahel couldn’t handle. Not all the time. I had to help Balthazar occasionally. Retrieving the wines of virtue were much harder for us than in their thread. There were tests to pass, very difficult deadly ones. It doesn’t matter. What matters now is that our tiniest brother is trying to do something stupid and dangerous and we need to stop him.”

               “I’m assuming it’s something he knows damn well he shouldn’t do.”

               “Does it matter? You need to make things right with Harahel, if only for the sake of your relationship with your son. You make your little brother think you love him, value him, and care about him and make everyone else believe it as well and maybe, maybe Ben will forgive you for you stupid selfish jealous thoughtlessness.”

                “Excuse me?” Helel finally seems to be paying attention even if she doesn’t like what she hears.

                “You fired him because you were jealous of his relationship with Ben. I don’t care what reason you think he gave you, you have been growing more and more resentful, jealous, bitter and assinine towards that angel since you’ve returned. Ben loving Harahel doesn’t take anything away from you. Love doesn’t fucking work that way. He can adore Harahel and adore you just as much, and taking the person he’s known and loved since birth away from him doesn’t magically make more love and affection available to you. All it will do is make him hate you.” Raphael holds his ground as his brother stands up in front of him.

                “You said he didn’t.” Helel accuses, thankfully focusing on that and not the other accusations hurled his way.

                “He doesn’t. Yet. He’s just angry, so angry he thinks he hates you. He doesn’t know you well enough to really hate you yet. But you don’t get to just demand he love you, or stop being angry. You have to actually put some effort into it. If you want your son to love you than you have to make him believe that you love him and you trust him and you know who he is because it doesn’t mean shit if he thinks you love an illusion of him.”

               “But you want me to make him love an illusion of me.”

               “At least until he’s an adult and is old enough to handle the bitter truth. I’d suggest actually becoming the mother Ben deserves, but father-forbid you ever truly change anything about yourself for the benefit of anyone that’s not yourself. Don’t be little your pleasant seductive lies. You’re good at it. You can fool Harahel easily, you can definitely fool Ben. After all, you almost fooled me.” Raphael takes Helel’s confused silence for an admission. “If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find some other barren wilderness to talk to Azrael in.” Raphael vanishes before his brother can figure out what the hell he was talking about. She has never pretended to feel anything other than what she did about Raphael. He wasn’t worth the effort.

 

               Bree sighs and sits down on the lawn chair, waiting for her husband to come back.

               “Nathaniel, go home. We’ll take care of this.” Michael instructs him. 

               “I… won’t. I won’t leave until I know where Hara is and that he’s alright.” Nathaniel draws himself up and tries not to look too afraid as Michael walks over to him.

                “Where is your blade?” He asks after inspecting him..

                “My… oh, no. I mean I didn’t lose it. I let Harahel have it like I always do when he’s down on earth and I’m in the library. He still never found his yet.”

                “He’s not going to. I melted it down into the special blades for the jotun to fuck with the aesir with.” Bree lays back down. “So that thing is long gone.”

                “You… why….” Nathaniel stammers his outrage warring with him common sense. Maybe she’s graceless and sort of trying to reform a little but she’s still the nightingale. 

                “To fuck with the aesir? Like I just said?” She raises an eyebrow at him.

                “He almost got thrown into the primordial ocean for losing that blade!” His outrage wins out.

                “I know.” Bree snickers a little, not paying him any attention.

                “He was not going to be thrown into the primordial ocean and he did not lose his blade he threw it, deliberately into that ocean.” Michael says sternly, a bit out of sorts at the reminder of that long prank filled day and the short tempered response to his younger siblings emotional crisis. “And you are returning to heaven until your blade is returned to you.”

                 “No.” Nathaniel sets his jaw. He almost faints when Michael reaches out to touch his forehead and banishes him back to the new garden, unable to leave until released by an archangel.

                  “Are you send me home next?” Bree looks up at Michael, because I’m just going to come right back again to wait for Raph. And if you cripple me to stop me, I’m telling.” She hastily says and he comes closer.

                  “I’m not going to cripple you.” It’s only the exhausted tone in his voice that keeps her from running as he reaches out to touch her and heal her sunborns.

                  “Oh, thanks.” She looks at her arms.

                  “Why did you do this?” Michael asks the question he always asks his younger sister when she’s done something frustrating.

                 “Yeah, you’re going to have to be way more specific than that. Why am I poking more holes in Harahel and Helel’s relationship when it’s already so close to the point of no return? Why did I pull such a fantastic and major trick on all of you to get you your grace back? Why did I switch Mary’s shampoo with nair? There are just way too many options to guess which one you want an answer to. But honestly I guess, in general, I did it because I like you, I don’t like you, or I was bored.  That’s it really. That’s my entire list of motivations.”

                 “The second one.”  Michael clarifies quietly, the feeling of utter exhaustion that dealing with this one always gave him, keeping a firm hold. He knows why Gabriel would sabotage Helel’s crumbling relationship with Hara, and he’ll deal with the prank on his wife later on.

                  “The second one? Oh right! You. I want you and Raph to make up. And I want Raph and Helel to stop fighting and to be able to get along and maybe even love each other like brothers are fucking supposed to, even if yes, she is my sister now. I don’t care. I have one too many big sisters already, so she’s staying my brother.” Bree scowls, crossing her arms. She looks away breifly before noticing Michael sitting down on the side of the lawn chair, facing her. Bree looks the angel up and down breifly. “What are you doing? Go away.” She kicks Michael’s hip with her foot to absolutely no effect. Not that she’d expect it to.

                   “I’m glad to see you’re not afraid of me anymore.” Michael actual smiles a little at her.

                  “Okay, so that seems like it should be in the form of a threat, which is scary, but you’re completely fucking serious which is weird and thus somehow scarier so I’m going to pretend you just threatened me, okay?” She stops mid kick and just rests her other foot against his side. She’s forgotten how warm he is and how chilly the boundaries are half the time. “And of course I’m not afraid of you anymore. I watched you go through puberty. How could I possibly be afraid of you after that? I still hate you though.”

                  “I know.” Michael says calmly and pats Bree’s leg.

                  “You’re an asshole.”

                  “Sometimes, yes. I made more mistakes than I’m aware of, I know. And there’s a lot that I didn’t know that I didn’t know and still don’t. There probably always will be. I’m too prone to violence. I don’t have nearly enough patience and have a had time relating to things I haven’t experienced myself or ways of thinking that are too different than mine. Though I don’t particularly care what or how people think so long as they just follow the rules and don’t cause any trouble.”

                 “I take it back. You’re an asshole AND a control freak.” Bree just looks away, resisting the urge to cuddle up to the warm angel next to her.

                 “I wouldn’t say control freak.” Michael protests.

                 “Everyone else would.”

                 “You try getting a million angels to go in the same direction towards a common goal at the same time. Or even simply try to keep as many of them alive as possible. See how much you embrace complete and utter chaos then.” Michael challenges her, though he knows full well what her response to that is going to be.

                 “Oh, please. Attempting to take control is like spitting in the wind in a storm. All you know is that it won’t end up where you intend it to go and likely as not will just smack you right back in the face along with a million other things here. At most  nothing nothing you intend will ever go the way you want it to. Existence is complete and utter chaos. Fighting that is futile. You’ll be much happier if you just let go and embrace it. Enjoy the ride, the absurdity. The endless countless options before you. Why set yourself up for failure and frustration when you can just sit back and see what happens, or even just do things and have fun and laugh and do what you want to do and know that as long as you’re alive there’s always going to be someway to make yourself feel good. What else really matters?” Michael can’t help but notice her inching down and over slightly and moves a wing through the ether to gently cover and warm her.

                 “Existence isn’t chaotic, Gabriel. It’s just complicated.” He gently admonishes her.

                 “Well, Duh, Same thing. Chaos is just the word for things being so complicated it’s never going to be possible for us to understand it all. And how can we control what we don’t understand. We can’t.  But we don’t have to in order to enjoy most of it, so why try?”  

                 “Is that why you’re actively trying to ruin Helel’s relationship with Harahel or fix Raphael’s relationship with both his elder siblings? Because life is so chaotic that trying to control anything is pointless?” Michael smiles slightly in that stupid patronizing way he does when he thinks he’s won an argument.

                “No because it’s like playing the lottery, you know you won’t win but you might and if you did it’s worth it. If not, it’s not as if you really lost anything.” She shrugs.

                “So it’s worth attempting to elicit a desired outcome. Which means there is a point in trying to control things because if you succeed it’s worth it.” Michael of course has to have the last word and make it impossible for her to argue with anymore.  

                “I hate you.”

                “I know.”

                “Oh for the love of all that is, are you seriously trying to make it seem like you don’t hate me too?  I hate you half because you hated me first. So don’t try to pull that wise loving little miss perfect big sister crap because that ship has long since passed.” Hopefully Bree doesn’t have to mention the darkness much more clearly because she’s fairly sure there’s a line there somewhere and she doesn’t really want to cross it. It’s kind of nice not having to be perpetually terrified of Michael, as much as she hates to admit it.

                 “I don’t hate you Gabriel.” Michael sighs, looking down at the woven plastic he’s tracing with his left hand. It was kind of funny making everyone associate being left handed with the devil when really she’s a righty and Michael’s a lefty.

                 “Oh please....” When Michael thinks about their history, even as recent as these last few decades, he can’t help but feel that note of derision in Bree’s voice feels kind of deserved.

                 “I don’t. Not anymore. You still make me angry and I hate the things you do, for example being so cruel to that tiny angel for no reason. But I don’t hate you. Not anymore. And I don’t think I hated you nearly as early as you think I did.”

                  “No?”

                  “No.”

                  “Oh, well be still my heart. Suddenly all is well. I love you and don’t resent your very existence. Hallelujiah we’re sisters again!” Bree raises her hands in the air. “Spare me.”

                “I didn’t say that it fixes anything. But we are sisters. I don’t understand you and I probably never will, but we are sisters.” Michael insists.             

                “Why are you talking to me!” Bree snaps angrily, resuming her fruitless attempts to kick him off the side of the lawn chair. “Go away! Stand back by the wall and guard. Maybe try to make nice with the siblings that actually like you. I know Raphael misses you. I try to distract him, but he’s just not… he’s not happy enough and I can’t make him happy and I want him to be so shape the fuck up and forgive him already!”

                 “I did.”

                 “Then tell him!”

                 “I did.”

                 “And?” Bree spreads her hands out expectantly.

                 “I don’t think he wants what you think he wants.And playing games and tricks is not going to give it to him. I’ll be here for him, whatever he needs whatever he wants, but I don’t know what else I can do. Maybe forgive you from taking him away from us. I’m still working on that.”

                  “I didn’t take him, Michael. I didn’t force him to stay. I didn’t keep him from leaving. You know he’s too stubborn for that. I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to come with me to catch me when I fell but I never actually expected him to do it. How could i ever in a million years have expected him to choose me over you. But he did. And he stayed, even when existence was no longer at stake he still stayed with me. He waited for me even though I didn’t want to wait. Don’t insult him by trying to say he could be bought or manipulated or seduced into any of that. Dad only knows why, but he loves me, even if you don’t and I won’t just sit here and listen to you try and take that away from me.” Bree kicks him so hard she pushes herself off the other side.

                 “I’m sorry.” He extends a hand which she ignores.

                 “I love how you’re angrier at me for his choices than you are at Helel for torturing him and forcing him to stay with you in heaven. Of course you actually love them. And Helel more than Raph. It may not be worth much, but at least he has the greater part of my heart. Even if I didn’t realize it for too long. You know, “ She gives a grin Michael’s not sure he should feel relieved about. “I hear you and Helel are very happily married in the other thread. With two beautiful children.”

                 “Don’t mention those bastards to me. They’re not us and they never will be.” Michael crosses his arms. Of course she would bring up their irritating infuriating other selves.

                “Too bad. I kind of like the other you. She was nice to me. That and she beat the crap out of you, twice.” Bree laughs. Michael just tightens his lips and goes back to stand by the entrance to purgatory. Clearly there’s no point in talking to that brat any further. Not if she’s going to bring them into it. Why she would want to talk about a version of herself presumedly far superior than she is, he has no idea. 


	44. Pride and Prejudice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail attempts to comfort Ben and fails  
> Alex tries to guide and advise her daughter  
> Ben makes bad decisions.

              “Mom?”  Abigail knocks on her mother’s door as she takes a break between patients.

             “Yes, Abby?” Alex swivels around in her chair to face her.

             “Are you hungry?”

             “If you’ve made something already, I’ll take something, but if you want to go out I have another appointment after this so nibble a bit and we’ll head out in an hour.”

             “Actually.” Abigail gives a sheepish shrug of the shoulders. “I just got a message from Shelly. Ben had a fight with his mom and she wanted me to make sure he’s okay while she’s making up with hers. So can you wait until I get back to eat or do you want me to heat up some leftovers for you before I go?”

              “Abby.” Her mother gives her a wry smile. “I can cook just fine.  Well, at least enough to heat up some leftovers.” Abigail doesn’t look convinced. “We have had this conversation young lady.”

              “Yes, but I’ve seen you try to heat up leftovers. You ruin it. I’ll make something.” She turns back to the kitchen.

              “Abigail. Go. I’m fine. I’m not hungry now. And even when I am I won’t ruin any food I promise.”

              “When will you be hungry?” Abigail demands. “I don’t want you just eating ramen from the packet. It’s not healthy and you get crumbs all over the keyboard.”

              “I’ll order out.”

              “Not pizza again.”

              “Get out of here, Abigail.” 

              “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of her.” Luci stretches, coming out of the bedroom. “But aren’t you still grounded?” Alex shakes her head. “Really?”

              “She has told us the truth and understands what she did wrong. So she’s been sentenced to time serve.” Alex informs an incredulous Luci who very much remembers the strict punishments enforced by Raphael on their siblings. Granted they were set in place by Michael but still.

                “Yes, but she told the truth after there was no longer a point in lying and she always knew it was wrong. I’d at least inject her with some sort of tracking device for the next few years in case she tries something like this again.” Luci leans on the wall,  a half peeled lucuma in hand.

               “I don’t have to listen to you. You’re not my real dad.” Abigail shoots back as she heads to the door.

               “I am starting to really regret that joke. You think you’re having an affair and you end up in a relationship and with a step child. Though, really, I don’t suppose you’d tell me what the melon baller is for.”

                “For balling melons?” Is Alex’s confused reply. Abigail’s not sure she wants to know why her uncle is laughing quite so hard. She just walks down to the portal to the bunker.

                Shelly said he was in her room. She certainly seems to have warmed to him. Of course, for some reason, Abigail finds herself not quite as happy about it as she thought she’d be, but it’s stupid to feel jealous. Especially since she knows what it is to bear the brunt of Shelly’s affections.

               “Hello?” She knocks on the door to Shelly’s bedroom. “Ben? Can I come in?”

               “It’s not locked,” Comes the reluctant reply. She can see him tucked into the covers. There are a few round crystals on floor. Some large, some small, a few on the bed.            

              “Hey.” She kneels down next to the bed and rests her chin on her arms.

              “Hey.” He replies.

              “Shelly said you had a fight with your mom.”

              “I had a heated argument with the woman who gave birth to me.” He covers his head with the blanket. “If that’s what you mean.”

               “Yeah.” She rests her head on his. “You want to talk about it?” 

               “No.”

               “It’ll help you feel better.” Abigail gently rubs his back.

               “I thought your mother was the therapist.” Comes the grouchy reply, making Abigail straighten up.

                “I’m just trying to be a friend and that includes listening. I don’t have to be a therapist to understand how you’re feeling.”

                “You couldn’t understand even if you were. You’re just human.”

                “Well, my humanity aside, I also have parents. Very accomplished parents and relatives who set very high standards to live up to in case you’ve forgotten.” Abigail starts…

                “Yes, but you’re human and your mother is human. You’re expected to be a chaotic mess.”

                “Excuse me.” Abigail puts her hands on her hips, 

                “You know what I mean.”  

                “Yes I do. And while your arrogant prejudice being based on my species and not my race or gender is oddly refreshing, it’s still not okay. And I am not a chaotic mess, my mother is not a chaotic mess. The only chaotic messes in this family are shelly and her mother. Besides you’re part human too, or are you blaming the human half for your being a chaotic mess.”

                “I told you, you wouldn’t understand.” He grumbles.

                “I don’t. I especially don’t understand denying maternity to your ‘birth giver’  when you’re acting so much like her.” This gets her a rather ferocious glare from the face now peeking out of the covers.

                 “What would you know about my mother?”

                 “Well, I know you didn’t get this whole ‘humans are less than angels’ attitude from your father and I know you didn’t get it from Harahel. I get it. You don’t fit. You’re not one thing or the other, but you don’t get to dismiss an entire half of where you come from as worthless especially not when you’re talking to someone who belongs to that half.” She gets up and walks out again. Yeah, he’s upset, but she’s not a therapist and she’s not going to take abuse she neither trained nor paid for. She’ll just let her mother know to expect him to be a bit of a prick at theri first session. Expected to be a chaotic messes indeed.

                  “Back so soon?” Alex comes out of her office as her daughter returns, not quite slamming the door behind her.

                  “Ben decided it was more important to insult my entire species than admit that I could possibly understand what he was going through, so I left because I don’t need that racist bull from him.”

                  “He takes after his mother I see.” Alex walks out as Abigail plops down on the couch. “I’m sorry. It can be hard trying to be a friend to someone who behaves that way. Or even just coexisting.”

                 “Well, he’s not that bad. he’s just upset and a little bit of an idiot plus he has identity issues and mother issues. I even kind of relate to that though.” Abigail sighs, leaning into her mother as Alex sits beside her on the couch.

                 “I guess I owe you an apology then.” Ales kisses the top of her baby’s head.

                 “What? Why?” Abigail looks up at her.

                 “For hurting you as badly as Ben’s mother hit him and for not being aware of it.”

                 “Oh mom, no. You haven’t hurt me. You’re a wonderful mother. You’d never do anything like that to me. You even let my uncle be in my life even though you know who he was and what he’s done.”

                “I am standing right here.” Luci says testily, tossing the peels into the tash and the microwave dings.

                “Then you can’t understand, can you? Your relationship with us is different than his is with his parents. And I’m assuming that his prejudiced insult was partly inspired by the fact that he’s a nephilim, and thus torn between two worlds.”

                 “I understand that, though. You’re human. Able or not. I grew up with hunters and am trying to fit in with civilians, I’m half white and a quarter black and a quarter incan. Which means I’m black but not black enough at the same time. Yeah, I’m ‘just human’ but that doesn’t mean I don’t feel torn between different worlds. And it doesn’t mean I have to stay there and have the identity I’m sure of insulted.”

                  “You absolutely don’t.” Alex reassures her.

                “Why should I just put up with him being a jerk when I’m trying to be his friend and help him? “Abigail crosses her arms.

                “Because,” Alex gently brushes her daughter’s frizzy hair out of her face. “Sometimes in order to help and be a friend to someone, you have to sometimes they say hurtful things when they’re upset that they don’t mean or feel sorry for later. Sometimes you have to decide which is more urgent and needs to be addressed first. Sometimes it’s about which is more effective, when something is more effectively addressed.”

                 “You think I was wrong to get mad then?” Abigail looks up at her.

                 “No. You had every right to be upset when someone says something hurtful. You have every right to leave when you do. That’s not the question. You asked me why you should have put up with him when he’s being a jerk. I told you why. There isn’t just one right decision. But just because you have the right to do something and are totally justified in doing it doesn’t mean it’s the best or most effective thing you could have done.”

                 “You think I should have stayed and ignored it and then kicked his butt over it later.” Abigail twists a bit uncomfortably.

                “I don’t know what you should have done, Abby, I wasn’t there. I don’t really know Ben that well yet. I don’t know what happened between him and his mother. All I can do is give you advice and answer your questions based on what I do know.”

                 “You know, you’re my mother, not my therapist. Would it kill you to just tell me what to do every now and then?”

                 “ I’m not sorry to tell you what I think you should do it I don’t know what you should do, Alex.” Alex pinches her cheek. “It’s okay not to know. It’s okay to make mistake and even decisions that are just alright. You’re having a hard time, too. You don’t have to be everyone else’s caretaker. You don’t. It’s okay to get away from something that’s hurting you. What’s important is that the decisions you make are in line with what’s important to you. So as your mother I want you to think for yourself, but also to learn how to do so effectively and in line with your goals and values. Of course I also want you to have the proper goals and values, but ordering you around doesn’t help you develop them.”

               “I don’t care. I’m just tired of not knowing what to do. Tell me to do something, would you? Please, mom.,”

               “Alright… I’m telling you to tell me what you wish would have happened today instead of what did.”

               “Well, I guess for once I wish that I woke to a snow day instead of having to add another absence to my record. I wish someone had found out a cure for Tris and that when I talked to Ben he had just… talked to me instead of being an asshole. He wouldn’t even say why he was upset or what happened ro what she did exactly to make him so upset.”

                “I’ll go talk to him.” Luci volunteers, the last bite of the casserole in his mouth.

                “I’m not sure that’ll be a good idea.” Alex cautions.

                “Well, I’m not his mother but I do understand her better than I’d like to and probably understand him more than I want to. Where is he? Come on, you know I’m good at this crap.”

                “Shelly’s room.” Abigail tells him after a minutes consideration.

                “I got this. I’ll even work on that attitude of his for you.” Luci pats Abigail’s head on the way to the door. “And don’t worry I will be nice to him.”

                “Do you want to just relax a bit more?” Alex asks her daughter.

                “Yes. For a little while. And I need to think about what to do about everything.” Abigail confesses.

                “Let me get through my lesson and we’ll go out to eat and talk about. You know, since your uncle just ate all the leftovers. You could use some pampering anyways.”

                 “Okay.” Abigail gives her mother a grateful smile. ‘Thank you, mom.”

                 Ben looks around the crumbles walls. The orange reddish flames lapping around the edges draw back as he nears them. Even just putting his hand out into their midst, they part. It was a stupid mistake coming here. He wasn’t even thinking, he just wanted to go to his sanctuary so he could be alone, but of course there wouldn’t be a sanctuary here like at home. It wouldn’t be built for him even if it was.

                He’d never been allowed to go into Hell proper before. Not that this is the same or probably even Hell proper. It’s probably it’s version of the boundaries. This wasn’t made by his aunt and uncle. This was made by his mother’s evil twin who not so evil anymore apparently.  What happened to it, though. Everything is burned, crumbled. It’s almost a ruin, though he can see something past the flames that are on the other side of the area, the thick ring of bright blue flames. When he reaches out to touch them they burn his fingers.

                  “My prince, be careful of those.”  A mild but gravely voice cautions him, clearly concerned, but too late. “They’re not yours.”

                  “I’m not who you think I am.” Ben takes the burnt fingers out of his mouth. Maybe he’s not this prince they think he is but that doesn’t mean he wants to be seen sucking on his fingers. 

                  “We know who you are. What else could you be but the son of the morning star?”

                  “I am but I’m not the son of your morning star. Mine rules heaven and always has.” Ben turns to face him, but can’t conceal his horror “What are you?”

                  “We are demons sir.’ The black shadow of a person kneeling before him looks like nothing less than a hole cut into the fabric of space except for his bright yellow eyes. “ We are the abandon children of the light bringer.” The emptiness takes his hand in it’s own, a blissful look in its eyes, and kisses it as it holds the hand to it’s cheek like it’s a precious object.

                    “Well, I’m the unwanted disgrace of heaven’s beloved shining star. How did you know who my mother was?”

                    “None but Lucifer himself ever made us feel the way you do. The light of your grace calls out to us. Your beauty brings joy to us, a light in the inescapable darkness or our existence, completing us. We love you every bit as much as we we loved him. As we were created to do. As all who look upon him have no choice but to do.Without him we suffer so terribly,” The grip on his hand gets a bit desperate. Ben just laughs. 

                    “I suppose that’s the same in either reality. Everyone loves Helel Ben Sahar.” Ben takes his hand back. The darkness doesn’t resist, but seems to cling to his skin almost like chewing gum. “So what do you want? To take it out on me? Use me as revenge? Blame me for her mistakes?”

                    “No, my prince. He abandoned his kingdom, abandoned us, rejected us. Our life is unbearable without his light shining down upon us.”

                    “Oh, so just plain use me then.” Ben shakes his hand though the darkness is not longer clinging to it. 

                  “You would abandon us to pain and torment of this miserable place as well, then. You truly are his son.” The bitter remark makes him stop.

                  “What do you mean pain and torment?” Ben asks, though the accusation of being his mother’s son still stings as much from them as from Abigail. 

                  “This is hell, my prince. Where the souls deemed unworthy are sent after death. Is that not what hell is where you come from?” The demon slowly crawls closer very much like a kicked dog. Ben doesn’t know what to say. His Aunt Bree said simply that hell was where everyone did whatever they wanted to do and it’s just that what they wanted was often not pleasant for the people they wanted to do it to. But that didn’t matter because everyone in here deserved everything that was done to them anyways. It was a place of banishment not a torture chamber. They were free to do whatever they liked and nothing was stopping them from being good or kind but their own natures. But for all he knows he could have been lying.

                   “I suppose I don’t really know what it’s like. just that no one wants to go there.” Ben confesses. “And they are sent there if they’re not good enough for heaven. Why are you here? Or, no, you said you were created.”

                    “We were made from human souls.” The shadow places it’s head to the ground. “We loved our kings, our kingdoms, our people and so we gladly and with great enthusiasm did as we were told by our superiors to protect and defend them all. We selflessly devoted myself to them all as we were told to do by father, mother,wise man, priest and country itself. But apparently we obeyed the wrong orders from men who gave the wrong orders and so we were rejected and condemned.”

                   “That doesn’t really seem fair.” Ben admits.

                   “It isn’t. We are here because of our obedience when we’d been told all our lives that the greatest sin of all was to disobey those very people we were condemned for obeying, by every source.”

                   “I find myself skeptical of your claims.” Ben crosses his arms. “That you’re here because you thought mindless obedience was the same as goodness.”

                   “Mindless obedience to the right person. Tell me my prince, what does being good mean to you?”

                 “Doing… doing what you’re supposed to do.” He stammers trying to think of what to say. It’s a bit distracting having the dark shadow kneeling before him in complete supplication. “Honoring your parents, respecting them, showing deference to them in all things no matter how assinine and unreasonable it may be. Making others happy at all costs. Even though you’re dying inside. Because you don’t matter, only they do. Even if so very few of them seem to care about anything but how well things look, how well you look, how well that makes them look. That you say the right things do the right things the right way at the right time with no exception being acceptable.” His hands ball into fists as he tries to contain his anger. The blue flames behind him flicker and soften into white and yellow, though he can’t see it.  “I suppose you’re right.  You’re only considered good when you’re doing what you’re told without question or argument. But Heaven forbid you’re told the wrong thing from the wrong person or try to think for yourself, decide for yourself what the right thing to do is.” Ben takes a breath and looks down at the creature now cowering at his feet. “I’m going to ask you again, and you’d better answer. What do you want from me?”

                    “All we want for you to let us be near you, to serve you. That’s all we want, for your grace to sing to us again and ease our pain, fill our emptiness, for your beauty to soothe our burning eyes, the tough of your head, a brush of your wing is enough to bring us joy like we’ve never known. You are the water and we are lost in this desert. All we wish for you to do is to be.”

                     “That…. that’s not exactly a lot.” Ben feels a bit odd, both drawn and repulsed at the same time. It’s not a lot to ask, but it somehow feels like it. Yet, there’s just something about that request that is both so appealing and so suspect. The thought of just being around some doing all that for them is impossible. And yet.. isn’t that what Harahel said of his mother? That her presence made him feel blessed and honored and grateful for the scrap of affection given to him. And mother must be loved. Of course, she must, by everyone all the time. She works so very very hard at it. What does the truth matter compared to that? “I don’t want all of hell, but you can serve me.” Ben kneels down and places a hand on the shadow’s shoulder. “But no more of this ‘my prince’ nonsense. My name is Ben Harahel. What’s yours?”

                     “Oh my great Ben Harahel.” The shadow grovels. It’s voice starting to echo within itself. “Our name is legion.” The shape itself starts to blur. “For we…” It expands, “Are many.”


	45. Such Sweet Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael confronts the angel of death  
> Harahel finally sees a leviathan  
> Other Alex is confused.

                      

             “To be honest.” Azrael raises an eyebrow at the angel standing before her. “You’re not the big brother I was expecting to come asking about the little guy.”

             “Well, I do have to admit feeling a rather unique kinship to that particular little brother now that Helel has completely turned on him.” Raphael admits, and sits down on the block of ice.

             “No, I mean, we’re not exactly in your element.” She kicks the nearest clump of frozen snow, sending it sliding across the icy surface.

             “Or yours if you want to be particular.” Raphael points out.

             “Are you still with that irritating little maniac?” Azrael has apparently not gotten over Bree’s little habit of repeatedly killing and reanimating the occasional person, sometimes for months tying up their assigned reaper or at least having them dart back and forth until they actually exhaust themselves to the point of needing to go into the garden and rest.  One poor soul went through that for a hundred years. Needless to say it happened when Raphael was not around to distract her. A lot of bad things happened during that time. It’s when the Nightingale went from being known as a malicious prankster to a sadistic tormenter of humanity. When he got back he barely recognized her.

             “Why? Are you asking if I’m available?” He teases, she just gives him a dark look. “I am and always will be. She’s come along way. But as you noted I’m here to ask you about Harahel.”

             “What about him?”

             “Did you take him to purgatory?”

             “Well that’s straight to the point.” She rolls her eyes. “But yes, I did. Don’t give me that look. He was determined. I told him repeatedly there was no hope of success, that as surely as I brought him in I’d be bringing him back out again. But he insisted.”

              “How could you? That angel is as helpless as a fledgling. He hasn’t held a sword since before purgatory was created when he threw his in the ocean. He’s the smallest dimmest angel in heaven and you took him to purgatory?”

              “Raphael…” Azrael starts but he’s not having it.

              “No. Your own rules don’t permit doing things like that. But you break them to help our baby brother essentially commit suicide? Why? Because he was defying Helel to do it?” Raphael demands, but the sad pitying smile Azrael gives him is not one of the things he was expecting her response to be.

               “I won’t deny that part of it was icing on the cake, but that’s not why I did it. I would never give that angel so much power over me. You wouldn’t understand why I did it. You can’t. Because you’re you.” Azrael shakes her head.

               “Try me.” Raphael stands up.

              “Sit your butt back down,” She puts a hand on his head. “We;re not standing and arguing about this. Look. Death is not what it used to be. You have won. For now. Life never really ends it just takes a break, reacts, and that’s fine. My boss is fine with the change of course so I am as well. But that doesn’t mean my job is any less important. Or that there aren’t those who long for death and the release it can bring them. You believe that all have the right to live, and I still believe that they all have the right to die.”

                “You’re speaking as if that’s what he wanted, to go and die.” He accuses her. Azrael just looks steadily at him.” He does not want to die.”

                “How would you know? How many times have you looked into the eyes of one who welcomed death with relief and gratitude. Who greeted me as a long awaited friend and savior. You talk about how weak and helpless he is, well that’s true, and yet you know what he’s going to be put through if he lives, better than anyone.”

                “You mean what Helel will put him through.”

                “Yes, I mean what Helel will put him through.” Azrael tightens her lips. “Harahel has Nathaniel, but we both know what that’s worth. He wouldn’t stay by Harahel’s side when things got really bad. He only even befriended him after things died down the first time. And then it was because of Helel’s favor and mercy.  

                 “But now, that bitch will destroy him. She’s already started, taking away the most important precious thing in his life. The little librarian’s not stupid, he knows what’s in store. So he wants to do something brave, defiant and probably hopeless that he also thinks is the right thing to do instead of being put through what she put you through. It was a choice he had a right to make and if you can bend a few rules to save a life, I can bend a few rules to save a death. It was going to happen. By his own hand or some other reckless defiant act. I’ve seen it so many times, Raphael. So very many times. So I took pity on him and let him have the opportunity to die the way he never had the chance to live.”

                  “I was never going to let that happen.” Raphael protests, trying not to raise his voice, mostly because he doesn’t want Azrael to raise hers. “Do you think I haven’t been paying attention? That I didn’t see what was going on?”

                  “Oh? And how would you have stopped it.” She challenges, kneeling down in front of him, and rests her arms on his knees to keep him from standing. “By taking him from the library? He’d never do that for his own sake. Take him from heaven? He’d never abandon it for his own welfare, he’s not that kind. Or would you take over Heaven and shower him with favor? You’d have to kill Helel for that to happen.”

                   “Well, I’ve done it before haven’t I?” Raphael grumbles, looking away. Azrael just grins at him.

                   “We both know that’s not what happened, Raph.” She chides him. “You have to face facts. When Helel wants to break you, there is not saving you. Let the little one rest, let him heal and maybe by the time he’s ready to re-emerge, Helel will have died again and this time you’ll all just be content to leave her the fuck where she is.”

                   “He’s already dead then.”

                   “No, much to my surprise. But I have things to do so I can’t stay and chat. I promise you thought. I will take good care of him.” Azrael puts a hand to Raphael’s cheek. “And don’t do anything stupid. Understand? Let him have this. He might actually pull some of it off. I’ll let you know when he’s at rest, Raph. Until then.” The angel of death slips back into the ether.

                  Raphael takes a breath and tries to concentrate on the important thing. Harahel is not yet dead yet. Where there’s  life there’s hope even if Azrael wants to believe otherwise. He has to go save him. But he has to do it right. He has to get in and find his wayward brother, and not let the remaining creatures know of the way out.  Which means he can’t know about it either. He’ll have to enter a different way. He’ll have to enter over the oceans.

 

                  Harahel soars through the skies above the lush tree tops, following the pull of the charm. He took some hairs from Abigail’s mother’s brush before he left. He hoped it would work, but he wasn’t sure. It’s not really the same soul, but he assumed it would be close enough. Everything’s so silent, no birds, no animals. At most there’s the sound of the wind through the trees. It feels so desolate. But when he hears the screams it’s much clearer than it would have been.

                  “You idiot.” He hears someone rage, when the scream ends. “You put the pieces in separate bags for a reason.” An odd sounding person shoves another one who’s licking his lips. There’s something about them that screams not human but Hara can’t think of anything he’s seen that they do seem like. “And you definitely don’t fucking EAT half-turneds without his fucking permission!” 

                  “She was trying to get away! And I didn’t eat all of her.” the other grumbles. “I was just so hungry and she smelled so good, though somethings smell even better. But also kind of… not right.” It starts to look around. 

                 “The half turned and her fucking blook you… I should eat you right now!” It shoves him again. “You useless…” It’;s mouth opens and keeps opening into a gigantic maw of teeth and tongue. The other one shrieks and starts to run darting out of the way, falling on the head and left arm and shoulder of what appears to be all that’s left of a young, very bruised and battered Alex Jones.  When it takes off again evading the bite, only the head is left behind. “You mother…” The other chase it off into the forest.

                 Harahel lights down to the ground by the head and gently picks it up. The eyes see nothing, but the spark of soul left in his mind is still going, dreaming, suffering. He can’t have a soul this damaged and broken resurrected. But how do you heal a soul? what does he do now? He wanted to save her and repay her for what she’d done for Ben and Abigail and now he can’t. Not without risking her doing far greater harm than the good she did. And that’s even if there’s enough soul for the other Raphael to attempt a resurrection. He should have known anything he attempted would end like this.

                 “Undhi, I’m sorry.” He whispers an apology to his vessel and covers his eyes as the tears roll down his cheeks. “I didn’t know this could happen. I thought… I thought at least…” His lamentation is cut off by a gasp from the head on the ground by his knees. When he uncovers his face, he can see pale hands grabbing at a pale throat. They’re almost translucent, and he can see a small shining light stuck inside that starts to diffuse throughout the body as the main glow travels down to her reforming stomach. Either vanishes then or she’s just  whole enough that it can’t be seen.  He’s not sure. But there are a few of his pearly tears on the ground beside her, a couple in her hair, shining much the same way.

                 “W-what are you?” She scrambles back away from him.  “You’re…” But she can’t find a word to describe the inhuman smell of him. The odd intensity of his scent   isn’t bright but it’s the closest one she can think of.

                 “I’m an angel.” Hara wipes his eyes.

                 “Bullshit.” She pauses, though and stares at the dark skinned south asian man sitting before her. “Not, you know, because you’re brown or anything, but because

would an angel be doing here?”

                 “I’m here to rescue you.” She just looks at him oddly as he starts to pick up his tears and put them in his packet. He knew angel tears were good for healing, but he’d never really needed to use them himself. He just saved them in case someone did need them. It isn’t as if he lacked them.

                 “Why?” She shakily gets to her feet.

                 “Because the boy and girl you saved. The boy was my nephew, and I love him more than anything so I couldn’t just leave you here.”

                 “Heaven sent an angel to me for… saving a nephilim?” She looks justifiably skeptical at this. “That’s kind of a weird suggestion. If nephilim are children of angels as they claim, that those angels cared enough about to do this for, why are they all here in the first place?”

                 “It’s complicated.” Harahel admits. “And there’s not really time, but heaven didn’t send me. I… I kind of defied heaven to come here, so if you could please come with me.” Hara takes a few baggies out of his jacket pockets and a pink collapsable doggie dish and starts mixing the ingredients together.

                 “Sure, I mean, why not? Those look like the tears of a badass rebel.” Her sarcasm is not unnoticed. She really doesn’t know what to think. But whatever he really is, he’s not a leviathan and whatever he wants can’t be worse than what he just saved her from, years of disembodied pain and torment as she waits for her body to reform, only to be eaten and sent right back to it again until she’s completely insane.”

                “I’m not a badass and I’m not a rebel. I just don’t care anymore. Saving you is important to my Ben so that’s what I’m going to do, if that’s alright with you, I mean.” He sounds so incredibly pathetically apologetic about it she can’t do anything but stand and stare at him. This is not what everyone has told her angels are this is what Precious  seems to think angels are. “When the portal opens we’ll go through it, and I’ll explain more when we’re further in.” Harahel look to her for confirmation.

                 “Okay?” She gets up and moves slightly closer to him. “They’re coming back, or one of them is so… how long?”

               “Now.” Harahel lights the ingredients and hums the right tone.  “Go in.” He grabs her arm and pushes her through the portal as the second creature runs back towards them. Hara follows her but the creature catches his hand and starts to come through. “Close your eyes!” He orders and bursts out of his vessel, pushing the contamination of body and grace back into the leviathan, the full unexpected force of it knocks it back into its own thread allowing the torn fabric between threads to close.

                When the portal closes, cutting off the blinding light of his grace, Alex uncovers her eyes. Everything’s still just a bright blur like a flashbang through the ceiling for a good few minutes, but when her vision returns she sees the angel on the ground, breathing but otherwise still, the remains of his left hand burst, mangled, burned. She goes into his pocket to look for the tears, but when she places it in his mouth it doesn’t do anything. Probably because he’s alive and smells like he’s just human now. Is it the angel or just his vessel? What was that light?

               She’s not sure of anything but that they can’t stay where they are, right in the middle of the leviathan’s garden. Whatever that tear or portal was they stepped through it into a place exactly the same as the one they left. Except of course, for a strange looking bleached stone hut behind her in the distance, near a similar bleached stone walkway. It has a ridiculously sharp chemical smell to it, but it’ll probably cover their own ultra delicious scents. Without hesitation, she picks up the unconscious man and carries him inside.

             “Hara… Harahel.” He calls out in pain when she lays him down in the corner. 

             “Is he gone?” Alex asks, trying not to move the mangled flesh that was his hand. It’s just seared flesh and bit of blackened bone. All she can think to do is bandage it, which she clearly does not enjoy.

             “Yeah, he… he left through my arm…” Undi clenches his teeth. “That’s not an exit. Why did he do that?”

             “Well, the levi had hold of you by the arm and the veins were getting all black and now its not, so maybe….” She shrugs nodding to the hand. “Don’t ask me about angels. I didn’t even think they were real. I’m not impressed either, to be honest. He just... abandoned us. “

             “You don’t know him.” Undi clenches his remaining fist. “He’s not like that. He’s not a fighter, but he will do everything he can for anyone who needs it. No matter what it costs him. I shouldn’t have complained. I know he wouldn’t have done it unless there was no other choice.” Though his voice is trained and he closes his eyes.

              “So… you what just let him use your body as some sort of meat suit?” Alex gives an uncomfortable squirm.”

              “Yes. I’m a vessel. I’ve been his vessel for over thirteen years, and mI haven’t regretted a day of it. He always let me see what was going on and made me a game room and a library. Everyone else just puts their vessels to sleep, a dreamless sleep, and I don’t see them asking much beyond being allowed to enter. Not Hara, he treats my body like it’s my body and not his even while he’s using it. I hope you appreciate what he’s done for you.” Undi rests his head on the side of the wall, a few tears rolling down his cheek.

             “He’ll be alright, won’t he? I mean, he’s an angel. He can take care of himself, right?” Alex attempts to reassure him, though she knows she’s doing badly at it.

            “No,” Is all he says and just stares at the wall. “We’re looking for a vampire named Benny Laffite, or a shifter names Ruihi, or their friends. They’ll take us to a portal. You’ll, well, you’ll go into my forearm arm, I still have a forearm. And I’ll take you back to the land of the living. It’s a different reality than ours, but we’ll be able to contact the angels there and they’ll help us get back and give you a second chance at living.”

            “What?” She can’t possibly have heard him right. She thought she was being taken to heaven or oblivion or just someplace better than purgatory. 

            “You, lucky woman, are getting resurrected.”Undi gives her a curt smile. “No cost, no obligation, but if you don’t live right after my angel gave his life for you…” He gives a low laugh and shakes his head.

            “What do you mean? He can’t… angels can’t die, can they? I mean, they’re angels.”

            “Yes, they can. He knew he wasn’t going to come back from this. He made sure I knew as well, he asked me. He told me everything. what the risks were, how dangerous. Why he wanted to do it.”

            “Thank you.” Alex says after a minute, not really knowing what else to say. He just ignores her.

            “Give me a minute and we can get going. We can get going…” But he’s passed out again.

             “Fuck.” Alex whispers running her fingers back through her hair.

             “Rescue patrol.” She hears a sing song voice as someone smacks the entrance to the  enclosure. “Aw man, you again? You look … younger. Did you angel give you a little vitality boost before this turn? I’m starting to think you just want to be a vampire girlie.” The smiling tattooed man who looks like some sort of asian native person winks at her.

             “No, I … what?” Alex blinks, her angry tone replaced by a bewildered one. He seems like he knows her. But she does not know him.

             “So, is your darling coming to get you or… well, shit. The human’s not doing so good. That’s alright. We’ll take him to the castle first there’ll be someone there who can help him. Can you carry him?”

             “Yes, but who are you and why are you in the garden?”

             “I’m Ruihi. Are you okay?”

             “He said…” Andy starts to move again and manages to get to his feet. “He said to find Ruihi so if this is Ruihi.” Andy manages to stand up. “Stay or go. I didn’t care.”

             “Easy there, buddy.” Ruihi catches him. When he trips on a crack in the floor. “I know you probably don’t remember that you can trust me, whatever’s going on, but you should be safe in here. There’s plenty of borate. If you want to stay here and wait for me to bring him back when he’s healed, just scrape some off the wall and cover yourself in the powder. It burns the crap out of the Levis.” Ruihi pauses to unwrap a wide strip of leather from around his arm and fashions a sling for Andy. “We’ll get you some place safe.”

               “Fine.” Undi gives Alex a look and follows the man out onto the walkway.

               This isn’t fair. To just appear and demand trust and deference. What is she supposed to think? Don’t they know what purgatory is like? Her purgatory at least. And to trust some stranger that even this vessel doesn’t know on sight… How did he know to expect them? What’s going on? Was that angel leaving them really a sacrifice? How can they expect her to just believe all of this? Because that human does? 

                And now there’s a human in purgatory. He doesn’t exactly look much more useful in a fight than his angel is supposed to be. At the very least she can’t just abandon him like his angel did. Alex stands in the doorway warring with her instincts to run and the instincts to help. The last time she helped it didn’t go so well for her. But fuck it. There’s nothing that can happen now worse than what she knows they saved her from anyways. So she takes a deep breath and goes to catch up.


	46. The Courtship of Mr.Winchester

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben spends some quality time with Legion  
> Luci bites the bullet and works on fixing things with his neices.

              Much to his embarrassment, Ben actually trips over a piece of rubble as he backs away from the hordes of demons kneeling before him. He can’t even see the end of them. They instantly merge back together into the vaguely person shaped hole in existence they were before.

               “It’s okay. I’m fine." he mumbles as the demon brushes the dust off him, checking him for injury like a worried mother.

               “My pri… BenHarahel. “Legion corrects themselves. “You need never fear us. You rule our existence bearable. We could never ever harm you.”

               “H-how are you doing that?” Ben looks deeper into the masses eyes and places a hand on their cheek trying to look closer, to see if he can find the thousands within this one. They look hungry… like a starving dog.

               “How may we serve you?”

               “I don’t know.” Ben tries to think. “Make us some comfy chairs?” He’s not too thrilled about talking in a giant ruin, sitting or standing in rubble.

               “Yes, Ben Harahel. With pleasure.” Legion looks around and separates into three slightly less dark shapes which gather some rubble into two piles. Two shapes stand over it and send darkness from their hands flowing over the wreckage and altering it so slowly Ben can almost sense what they’re doing. It takes only a few minutes to make the base of two opposite facing lounges, side by side,  and a few more to create the cushions.

                 “How… do that again. Put it back to where it was and do that again.” Ben bends over, placing his hand on the construct.

                 “My apologies, Ben Harahel. I am weak and out of practice.” Legion grovels.

                 “No, I just think that maybe I can do this too. I just have to see it again. Slower that’s all I mean..” Ben feels a little excited. Legion looks at him in confusion.

                   “Of course you can. You are the son of Lucifer with a mortal man. Grace and soul combined to greater than the sum of their parts. You can do any and everything he can and more. Have you not been taught?” Legion tilts his head quizzically.

                   “No, I didn’t know I could do more than the average angel and I haven’t been taught even that much. I used to be able to heal little things. I think I once brought a bird back to life when I was six but I haven’t had the chance to do anything like that since my mother came back. She wouldn’t let Hara..” Ben stops talking, a tear rolling down his cheek, sparkling bright in the darkness. Legion rises and kisses the tear away, taking it into himself with a shuddering groan that makes Ben feel extremely uncomfortable. “What? um…” 

                  “Our apologies.” Legion cowers. “We’re so hungry.”

                  “How do… what do you eat?  Angel tears?”

                  “It was presumptuous of us.” It’s like they didn’t actually hear what Ben asked.

                  “No, get up.” Ben ushers him up. “I’m not angry. Just tell me what you need.”

                  “To bask in the light of your grace, to take it in, it sustains us.” Legion confesses. “Your tear.. it was a feast, but we have been without for so very long.”

                  “I don’t understand.”

                  “Just… show yourself to us reveal your glory. That’s all we ask.” Legion begs, clutching at Ben’s legs. 

                  “What you.. you mean like my wings?” Ben’s cheeks burn a little at the suggestion. “I don’t know, that’s just… that feels kind of personal.”  Though it isn’t really it kind of is. It’s really hard to put a feeling on the suggestion besides just uncomfortable. There are many reasons not to manifest your wings and there’s not exactly an ether to shine them through here. 

                 “Do you not have wings?” Legions voice is slightly hushed, though there’s no one here to hear. “Some nephilim did but the less powerful ones did not. I apologize for making assumptions.” Legion demures. Ben feels a bit warm at the assertion and looks around to make sure no one is there. Especially as it means he has to take off his shirt so it doesn’t tear or singe.  

                  “I have wings.” He quietly slips his shirt off over his head, bundling it in front of his chest.  It’s been so long since he’s done this, and in truth he’s never brought them forward into the material plane, always just unfurling them into the ether. It’s not hard, it’s just...it’s like spreading your fingers, opening your eyes, lifting your head, all of which he does trying to concentrate. There’s a sharp intake of breath from Legion as he does so, spreading his wings out as wide as he can, stiff from the long concealment.  “I’m still growing.” Ben feels the need to explain their underwhelming size. If he’s see Ben’s mother’s wings, then this is definitely not impressive. “They’ll get bigger. It’s almost enough to fly, I think. I haven’t been taught yet so I assume I can’t.”

                    “Haven’t you been taught anything?” Legion looks at him with astonished pity.

                “No, not so much.” Ben shifts his shoulders and flutters the extra limbs. It feel so strange but refreshing.  He feels so free. “Hara taught me what he could, but a lot of things, they said I wasn’t ready for. I thought when I turned thirteen that I’d be taught more but, nope…”

                “They didn’t teach you anything for five years?” Legion looks amazed. “You didn’t try to learn on your own?”

                 “No, I’m..” Ben can’t help but smile, feeling stupidly pleased. “I’m only thirteen.And you’re not the only ones taught to do or their told. But I’m not going to listen to them any longer.”

                 “I’m pleased to hear so. At thirteen you are every inch as glorious as Lucifer ever was. Your beauty is enough to make us weep.” Legion’s adoring look is enough to make Ben hide behind his wings. That can’t possibly be true. He knows his mother is the most beautiful of all angels beyond what humanity is even capable of. And these wings are nothing like either diamonds or the ocean spray breaking the light of the sun into rainbows. They are soft though, like down or freshly fallen snow perfectly formed into flakes. And they don’t melt at his touch, either.  “I can see why Lucifer would hold you back. You will clearly be so much greater than he ever was, more powerful, more beautiful.”

                 “I doubt that, but thank you.” Ben straightens up. “It’s been so long since you’ve seen him and I’m here now, so… hunger is the best spice and all that.”

                 “That’s true, you are here and he not, has not been since the nazarite banished me in such an ignomeous manner.” Legion grimaces. “But if you think his is a beauty one can forget, you are mistaken. Have you never seen him? Truly seen him?” Ben just shakes his head and awkwardly plays with the tertials. “If you were not his equal, then you would have. If you were not destined to surpass him in all things, he would have taught you. If you like, BenHarahel.” Legion inches closer, “We could teach you things.”

                “What things?”

                “Anything and everything we know. All you need do is ask. But please, please let us rest and replenish ourselves in your luminous bounty for a brief while.” The shape pleads, pressing against his legs like a drowning man clutching a log.

                 “A-alright. I do have time, I guess. Do you have to hold on so tight?” Ben asks. It’s clear that Legion is deliberately avoiding touching his wings, but their head and hands are very close to being places Ben would prefer they not be.

              “Our apologies, BenHarahel.” Legion removes their hands. “But proximity does speed the absorption.”

              “No, okay, I guess, but can’t we just sit back to back or something? This is making me incredibly uncomfortable.” Ben awkwardly moves to the lounges.

              “I could massage your wings. They look stiff.”

              “Do you know how?” Ben asks, since they really are stiff and maybe a little weak from disuse. Traveling through the ether isn’t really flying, at best he glides a little way like a chicken hopping from branch to branch because they won’t keep him aloft. It made him sore and exhausted when he did it. Harahel never let him travel alone, but he wasn’t about to admit that in front of Shelly whos wings are not bigger than his at all. Even if he is temporarily a couple inches shorter. 

              “Oh yes of course I do. Though yours don’t seem to be as delicate. Less bitter blades of ice than they are like the driven snow.”

              “I know.” Ben sighs at the description. “They’re not all that white, though. They’re kind of… glittery like snowflakes made from whitish rainbow sequins. I’m a pair of skates and white yoga pants away from ‘Angel’s on Ice’. “

               “Whatever that is, if it’s a bad thing than you are certainly not.” This is said so seriously that Ben has to laugh and lets Legion lead him to the lounge. It’s adjusted so Ben can sit facing the curved back and rest against it, letting his wings rest spread out to his sides.

               “Thank you.” He gives a sigh as the feathers are stroked and set to rights. It’s so relaxing and feels surprisingly good. He really isn’t in a rush to go back anyways.

  
  
  


               Luci kneels down by Shelly’s bed and picks up the solid tears from the floor and comforter. He has, more and more over the years, wanted to punch himself in the face. He’s gotten good at not thinking about things. If he starts to think about and admit all the wrongs he’s committed he’d never be able to function. But some time they creep in. He’s fairly sure that if he shows these tears to Ben’s mother, she’ll have one of those moments herself.

                Angel tears are hard to come by.  He’s not sure Shelly’s ever shed them. Most nephilim can’t. But Archangel grace is a step above the rest, in the most modest assessment.  So the nephilim of an arcangel would naturally be more angelic. You have to be heartbroken to an extreme degree. It doesn’t matter what caused these tears, though. If she loves him at all, she’ll be horrified that anything she did to him caused this.

                 In truth, he almost didn’t recognize them. It takes a lot of suffering to bring the darkness required to make a solid tear. Especially for him. And darkness pervades everything, it just leaked out of Auntie’s cage, and his mark. There was no helping it. It didn’t reach heaven as easily as earth, but the angels didn’t stay in heaven all the time.

                  Holding them in his hand, he remembers the first tears he shed. When he went to her and was bound with the mark she tried to destroy him to prevent it, but father was too quick. The pain and feelings of betrayal that went through him, he’s not sure which was worse, but it was too much and left him a silent sobbing wreck resting on one of the few surfaces of the world. 

                  Raphael got to him first, he saw the tears wept by the angel who claimed to never have been weak or pathetic enough to cry the way Raphael did, before they could be hidden from him. That was bad enough. But he had the audacity to pretend he hadn’t seen them and hold his suffering brother and soothe his pain and tell him everything would be alright. Mercy and kindness he took as pity as if he needed pity, as if Helel was the weak and useless one.

                  The moment turned Luci’s annoyance and jealousy into outright hatred of the brat and he made sure that for every tear he shed that day, Raphael would shed a hundred, and more until Raphael was not longer capable of tears. It was the stupidest most prideful thing he’d done for the longest time. It was a miracle in and of itself that Raphael ever tried to help him again.

                  “Hey, Benny!” Shelly runs back in, preceded by a small invisible puppy that leaps up to slobber on Luci’s face.

                  “Hey there, Georgie.” Luci finds and scratches behind her ears. “keeping her little I see.”

                  “Well, yeah, at least until I have her better trained.” Shelly shrugs looking around the room.

                  “I’d be happy to teach you more about hellhounds. Maybe teach her a few tricks.” Luci offers.

                  “No that’s okay. I got this. Where’s Ben?”

                  “I don’t know. I came to see if he was alright. Shelly, I wanted to talk to you too though. I wanted to say I was sorry for acting like a dick.”

                   “It happens. You were bound to snap eventually.” Shelly waves it off and looks down at her feet a second. “So mom and me were going to go get something to eat somewhere in the netherlands of scandinavia, you know viking territory, wherever. She said I’m old enough to be trusted with the cake bar, which I doubt is really a matter of age, because i wouldn’t trust her with one. I was going to ask Ben to join us because he’s totally starved for decent foods beyond what uncle Raph made. But if he’s not here, um, can you tell him to call me when you see him? We’ll pick him up whenever because we’re going to be there a while. Thanks.” Shelly turns and quickly heads back off down the hall, not bothering to say much of anything else. So clearly, things are not alright between him and his niece. As much as he hates to admit it, it’s probably not because of his attempts to alienate her.

                 “I guess I have a lot more work to do, huh?”  He pets George’s head. He’ll have to find a way to reconcile with Shelly properly, and with Riley. Riley will be more difficult. That one takes after their mother. The last time Riley got that way a dog that bit Chris wound up without it’s teeth under mysterious circumstances. While he doubts Riley would try anything like that with him, a simple apology and Chris’ forgiveness is not going to be enough to make things right. And until both children have forgiven him and want him to come home, Michael won’t let herself even consider forgiving him.

                He’ll have to do something to make Abigail forgive him as well. But he can’t do something for her, she’s not that kind. He’ll have to do something for someone she loves and cares about, something she can’t.  Which probably means figuring out how to cure vampirism without the blood of the vampire that turned her. Well, vampires. And he had no idea how to do that. 

                 What’s even worse is that his brain is not working right, or functioning at the level he knows it can. He should have been able to do all of this so much better. He should be dead, resting until he wasn’t able to screw up his loved ones lives. Alex should never have been able to suspect something was wrong. At least not until it was too late to do anything about it. And he completely forgot about this little pup. Who would have thought a hellhound would be able to track a person with no soul or grace, though? the possibility should have at least occurred to him though. He’s just so diminished in every single way.

            That means he’ll need help. But he’ll be damned if he asks an idiot hunter, and if Raphael had a clue, he’d be trying it already. Michael’s not an option. They wouldn’t even if they could. In truth there’s one person he can think of that he really doesn’t want to ask. But it might be a start in fixing things with Shelly. But he really doesn’t fucking want to. Even if he is here already and he has not way to find Ben, or even should look too hard right now.

             Luci gives a sigh and places the tears in his pocket. He’ll probably be in the library, so Luci goes to the library. He is of course right there staring blankly at the same page he was looking at when Luci entered. Luci grabs a chair and pulls it over setting it down in front of him. Either Sam is deep in thought or he’s ignoring him.

             “So,” Luci grabs the book, pushing it down out of Sam’s eyeline. “About my saving your life so very, very recently.”

             “I’m not thanking you.” Sam sets his jaw.

             “Oh, no, it was my pleasure.” Luci moves it off. Sam just looks at him unamused, and unappreciative as is expected. “So are you going back to teaching anytime soon or are you taking a few days to rest like you were told to do. I mean I know how you winchester are about medical advice.” Sam just looks at him, not saying a anything. “Yeah, I guess I don’t really care. I need your help so you’ll have to get a sub. Is your brother back to his cranky old self yet? He could probably still sub as he is, honestly.”

             “I’m not helping you. With anything. At all. Ever.”

             “I saved your life.”

             “I’m not thanking you.”

             “I’m not asking for your gratitude. I’m pointing out that you owe me and telling you how to repay that very fresh debt. Interest free.” Luci points out reasonably.

             “I do owe you.” Sam admits calmly. “I owe you a great deal that you don’t want repaid even by half.” Clearly they are not talking about the same thing her. But the intense anger bubbling beneath the surface of his eyes is clear. So he gets up and goes to the kitchen, makes a pot of tea, dumps it into a pitcher of ice and sweetener, and brings it and a glass back to the library.

               “This is going to happen, so drink. It’s iced so it’s extra disgusting but won’t burn you.” Luci pours him a glass and puts the pitcher down on the coffee table nearby. Sam still just looks at him. “Alright, I probably need it more than you do right now anyways.” Luci drinks it down in one long swallow. “What is it with Raphael and the illegal drugs? It’s like he has no respect for the law.” Sam doesn’t rise to the bait. He’ll need another drink to do what he probably has to. In truth he was hoping to avoid this entirely. He would have been entirely fine with keeping it inside until Sam was long in his grave. And he’s in no rush to drink this second glass, and takes a minute to swallow it, though still not moving his lips from the glass.

               “I owe you an apology.” Luci puts the now empty glass down and rests his chin on the arm hanging across the back o the backwards chair he’s sitting in.

             “A what?” This takes Sam by surprise. Luci pours another glass and hands it to him. He takes it this time.

             “An apology. For pretty much everything I’ve ever done to you. Probably for my little emergency rescue as well, but I’m not quite feeling it.

              “You… you’re trying to tell me that you feel regret for.. everything else?” Sam looks confused.

               “No. But i was wrong to do what I did. You didn’t deserve it and I shouldn’t have done it. In face you were right to take me and do everything you did to me. You put me back in that cage, so consider what i did to you repayment for the suffering that caused me. What I did to you was nothing to what the cage did to me, to either of us. I used you to keep from breaking again, and be honest, no matter what I did to you, it was better than being alone, given over to the pull and tearing. So much so that you wanted everything anything I could do to distract you from it. What you can’t forgive me for is that I ever did anything else.” Luci can’t stop himself, though he knows this is not the time or place or even remotely fair or kind to bring up. Sam still doesn’t say anything, though his knuckles are white from how tightly he’s clutching at the arm rest.

                 “You can’t forgive yourself for wanting it. But you are not to blame. I did what i did, even throwing you back, knowing full well what it would do to you, physcially psychologically, there’s not a part of that experience that was not intentional on my part.

I didn’t have to torture you, though, at all. I chose to. I chose to torture you and try to destroy Adam and fight with Michael and act out and try to save myself with all the wrong ways for the wrong reasons and there is nothing that could ever justify what i did to you. I know that. I hated you. I still hate you just as badly as you hate me and I know it’s for all the wrong reasons but I can’t afford not to.  I can’t afford to hate you either, so I just bury that inside because it’s not worth dwelling on, it’s not worth what I would lose. I can’t ever imagine not hating you and I can’t imagine you not hating me. It’s just who you are.

                  “What’s different now, right? What’s different is that I don’t ever want to be that person again. I will never be free of him, but I don’t ever want to be him again. And, of course, it no longer bothers me the way it once did, that you don’t love me.” This last part of the confession makes Sam choke on his drink. “That does not mean in any way shape or form that I ever actually cared about you, or secretly loved you at all.” Luci says quickly. “Because I did not. At all. I wasn’t capable of it then. If I was, I could never have done what I did to my favorite song.”

                 “I would very much prefer it if you didn’t take this conversation any further. There’s not enough cannabis tea in the world, or sob story big enough to ever fix things between us and no I feel no obligation to improve our relationship beyond the awkward truce we maintain for Shelly and Babe’s sake. At all, There is nothing I can help you with that anyone else conceivably could not.”

                  “I need to find a way to cure a vampire without the blood of the one that turned them. Tris was turned with a combination of all the vampires that were in the nest and o few already dead and burned. They tried using the ones that were alive, but there’s no luck and I’m not exactly at the top of my game so I need someone to help who’s almost as sharp as I am. Besides, nothing keeps you sharp like the presence of a good enemy,” Luci explains.

                   “Why do you want to help some human girl you don’t even know?” Sam asks suspiciously because he has a brain and knows Lucifer so much better than either would like to admit.

                   “I don’t. I’m doing this for Abigail.”

                   “She asked you?”

                   “No. But when people you love want something, do you always have to be asked to give it to them?” Luci spreads his hands wide. Sam just tightens his lips. “Plus I want her to forgive me for my harsh words.” 

                    “I think an apology is enough for that.”

                    “That will come later. So will you agree to help me or am I going to have to just stay two feet away from you at all times until you do.  Well, you know, minus bathroom breaks. For me.”

                    “I want to say no, just for old times sake. After all, by now it’s tradition”

                    “Yes. but I’m asking you to do a good thing.” Luci points out much to Sam’s annoyance.

                    “You don’t need me, specifically for this, so I’m going to have to stick with no.”

                    “For now.” Luci picks up the book he was reading. “Oh, so what’s this about?” He flips back to the beginning. “Chapter one. The Pernicious Post. Is this a romance novel?” He turns to look at the cover. “It looks like a romance novel. I hope for your sake it’s just a hilarious satire. Oh look at this first paragraph, Chastity Goodwife and her laundry soliloquy about courtship and marriage. It’s kind of impossible to tell so far. The difference between bad writing and satire. I can’t believe you’d read enough real ones to appreciate the satire if it is.”

                     Sam just sits back and crosses his arms. In an attempt to distract himself, he just picked a random book from a shelf that previously had contained no romance or fiction books at all, but he’s not engaging that person in conversation. He’ll just ignore him. Luci will be unpleasantly surprised at how long he can keep it up. 


	47. Luci And The Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci finds out it's hard to wear down a stoned man, and gets a taste of what it's like having him for a son.

       “Now that’s just unrealistic.” Luci shakes his head, “If he was that brutishly vigorous as the author discribed, that table would break in minutes and let me tell you splinters are just not as romantic as one might think.”

        “Speaking from experience?” Sam actually grins at this which is not Luci’s intention at all. Of course, he has had a lot of time. And he’s laughing now. Obviously thinking about Luci with splinter’s in his ass. Maybe it’s too much tea. He was going for ‘won’t get a stroke or have another heart attack’ not ‘so stoned he almost enjoys Luci’s company. That’s just disturbing. Maybe a different approach.

         “Hold on.” Luci pats Sam’s leg and get’s up from his chair. It’s a really fucking irritating to have to resort to this. He’ll just have to keep the bastard well medicated. There’s more tea and ah yes, the leftover steak, mixed greens and an open can of oranges. No dressing. Vinegar and raspberry jam though, so that works with a little olive oil. No olive oil. “Oh, for dad’s sake, is there any food in this bunker?”

          “Well, I was going to go grocery shopping, but I decided to have a heart attack instead. There are so many puppies in this ceiling. Why did we buy the hanging ceiling with the dead puppies?” Definitely too much tea.

          “Dead?”

          “Well.. they’re not breathing.” Much to Luci’s dismay he finds himself laughing a little at this. “How’s Ben doing?”

          “Why are you asking me?”

          “You’re closer. You’ve seen him more. Actually talked to him.” A brilliant attempt to get Luci to leave, but he’s not going down so easily. “What’s he like?”

          “What is our son like?” Oddly enough the phrasing doesn’t seem to phase Sam. “Well, it seems I gave birth to a little Raphael with my ego and your height. Who’s completely gone over Abigail though he’s in deep denial about it. As for how he is, no so good.” Luci mixes the make-shift dressing and tosses it with the chopped steak and mixed greens and mandarin oranges. There is a lone ramen packet in the cupboard so he crumbles some of that and sprinkles it over.

          “How not good.”

          “He’s pretty much experiencing his first and deepest heartbreak. a seriously deep heartbreak. He actually cried.”

          “That’s not exactly abnormal for getting your heart broken?” The smartass rolls his eyes.

          “He is feeling the kind of pain that creates tears in an angel, Sam. I know because I found some in Shelly’s bed that looked just like mine when I went to check on him.” Luci admits. Open up front honesty and consideration. Not to the point where he’ll actually leave but it’s gotten to this. There was a brief period during the first book where Sam decided to fight dirty by interrupting the chapters to comment on the content based on his experiences with his wife. To which Luci countered by informing him of all the fine qualities and capabilities of his father’s body. Sam volleyed back with the comment that it’s so wonderful to hear someone so very proud of sleeping with their own sister. To which Luci reminded him that Riley and Chris were genetically his half brother and sister. When Sam replied that genetically, Luci is now his daughter, they both decided on a truce and just drank alot of tea. Probably too much tea on both their parts.

           “I know that’s a lie. You don’t… you didn’t cry. You were so incapable of tears you couldn’t even fake it. You know, because you were pretty much dead inside.” Sam clarifies, saying this in such a matter of fact way it really pisses Luci off.

           “I wasn’t going to.”

           “This is a really dangerous time for him. I don’t want him falling the way I did.”

           “Then why aren’t you annoying him?” Is Sam’s very valid question.

           “He’s not here.” Luci puts the salad on the end table next to his brother in law. “I’m not sure where he is or how to find him. So I’m trying to work on something else.”

            “So what happened? Who broke his heart? Abigail?” Sam ignores the salad.

            “His mother fired his guardian angel. The one who was more than a parent to him than either of his. And they had a big fight over it. But I don’t think that’s what broke his heart. I think that what broke his heart is that when his angel was fired, he left Ben without a fight. The problem is that if Ben refuses to admit this to himself or think about it, it’s just going to hurt worse and worse and his suffering will never end and he won’t know why. He’ll just lash out at everything and everyone. In this thread I fell, and in the other one you feel, so to speak.”

              “I did here as well.” Sam points out and takes the salad, eating it without question. Luci gets the feeling he would have even if it wasn’t made for him.

              “No, you didn’t. You stumbled, that’s all, went the wrong way a couple times, but you didn’t fall. Drove me fucking nuts. You were always good if only because that’s what you were striving for.”

               “I did try. I do try, but that doesn’t mean I succeeded.”

               “Yeah, well I hate to admit it but the trying is almost all of it and you don’t truly fail until you stop trying to be good. In the other thread you stopped. Understandably of course with great help and manipulation from the other Gabriel, but he stopped trying and it wasn’t until prison that he started enough to ask for help. In this one when Dad showed off his new babies I stopped trying. With him it was using drugs to escape his pain, with me it was being right and if I wasn’t right, making so reality fit what I thought it should be, or at least enough that it looked like it did. Than there’s you, you bastard. Who made the ultimate sacrifice. And other me who despite being the flawed terrible creature I still am, managed to stay the favorite, Heaven’s shining star. Either legacy is a hell of alot to live up to and just as much to live down, so I need to talk to him about the price of falling and to be honest you need to talk to him about why it’s important to keep going. I mean, he has some very relatable beliefs about humans and angels respectively. So your success will give him more hope than his angelic mother’s and my fall will be more comforting than his father’s.” Luci explains. Sam just thinks for a minute, eating his salad then looks down at the bowl.

          “Wait, did you make this for me? Where did it come from?” He asks in completely the wrong order.

           “The fridge. You haven’t eaten all day so far and you need to.”

          “I wasn’t hungry.” Sam hands the bowl back to Luci. “You haven’t eaten either. You eat it.”

          “I’m not hungry either, and I’ll eat when I get home. You eat.” Luci pushes it back.

          “Yes well, I’m not the anorexic one here, am I?” Sam counters pushing right back.

          “Excuse you? Who’s anorexic?”

          “You are. Your go to coping mechanism when you feel out of control is denying yourself food now. It’s better than fratricide, mass murder and genocide but it’s still a problem.”

             “Yes I’m sure it’s making you lose sleep at night. What I choose to do with my body doesn’t affect anyone but myself. If that’s not good enough for you, you can fucking bite me.” Why the hell is Sam this strong? And why doesn’t he just take the damn salad? He’s already eaten half of it with his big moose jaws.

             “It affects the people who care about you. “Sam pushes harder at the same time Luci doubles his efforts. The bowl manages to slip out of their hands to crash onto the floor. “People like my wife, my daughter, my nieces and nephews, or neice and siblings if you prefer.”

             “So what you’ll try to shove a salad down my throat for their sakes, but not help me do a little research? Some problem solving? For the sake of a poor innocent young girl?” Luci challenges trying guilt again. but apparently Sam is still too high for that.

              “No, I won’t.” He sounds mildly surprised at his answer.

              “Why not? I can be nice. I can be pleasant to you. I’ve already shown I care more about my family than I do my hatred of you and they’re why i even want to do this in the first place. Are you really letting me, the devil., hold the moral high ground here?”

              “Yes.” Sam serenely looks down at the broken bowl and salad on the floor. “Do you think that’s still good?”

              “This isn’t like you. You were never opposed to working with me before, should the need arise. Finding a solution to this new vampire problem is pretty big and it won’t just help Tris. I don’t care about any of that. I just care about Abigail and Tris is her friend. In truth the last time we really truly worked together I died, so of the two of us I should be the hesitant one. So it really begs the question, why are you objecting to this so strenuously? “Luci demands, not bothering to hide her annoyance. Sam just gives a casual shrug.

             “You don’t need me for this.”

             “Oh, like that’s kept you out of anything before. You and your brother are always sticking your nose in. If I’d started doing this and snuck around trying to keep it from you, you’d be knee deep in it before I could snap my fingers. But no, I can’t do that because I’m trying not to be a manipulative deceitful bastard. Of course, to no one’s surprise, being honest and humiliating myself by asking you politely is apparently not good enough for you either. | Luci sits down on the couch slouching down to rest his head on the back of the couch, arms crossed. “And I’m not showering you with compliments so stop fishing for more reasons why it has to be you helping me. What the fuck is your problem?”

              “Because your saving my life has unearthed a hell of a lot things in the form of  nightmares. That’s why. Ones I can’t let my wife know about. And I’m not ready to have to spend time with you for any non-apocolyptic, last resort reason. Do you understand?”

              “Yes, actually.” Luci sighs. “Alright. And… look, talk to her about them. If you prefer… I’ll tell her everything I’ve done that could conceivably give you nightmares. Don’t worry about our relationship, Gabriel and I will be okay. We have time to get past this and we’d want to because we love each other.”

               “No. she knows about all the mental and physical violations.  She knows almost everything that happened in the cage.” Sam just waves off Luci’s more than generous offer.

                “What else could I have done that’s given you nightmares? That you wouldn’t tell Gabriel ab.. shit.” Luci scrunches up his nose. “I forgot about that. How the hell did you remember that? I thought I wiped it away completely. Alright. No, I won’t mention that. And if it helps I promise to be an unappealing asshole the entire time if you’ll help me do this.”

                “No. Ask Harahel if you need a research buddy. She’s a librarian.” Sam looks over at his brother in law, still not the least phased or upset. “She can librariate for you.”

               “Okay, I think it’s time to cut off your tea supply.” Luci reaches over to take it from the coffee table.

               “Unless you’re leaving, don’t touch my teas.” Sam takes it back. “And what do you have against our Harahel? She’s a sweetie. And she makes Krissy very happy, not that you care about that.”

                “I really don’t, and I know she is. But I can’t associate with her. It’ll ruin her life to associate with me and yes I care about my tiniest weakest sister. So no arguments I would love access to Heaven’s library for this, but I’m trying to be a good person and it’s easier to practice that with relatives that have been nice to me. So just don’t. She’s not strong enough to take that kind of heat.” Luci warns him, and grabs the pitcher before Sam can, carrying it back to Shelly’s room to wait for someone to come back.

           He’s not sticking around while Sam’s still stoned enough to talk about that with any kind of calmness. He might end up talking about it and asking questions. Better to leave it where it is until it’s out of his system.

 

           “So, what.  Is this where everyone in this family goes to cry?” The dry irritation wakes Luci from a much needed nap.

           “Oh, bite me, Raph.” Luci wipes his eyes, and pulls the pillow over his head.

           “Excuse me?” Wait. That’s not Raphael’s voice. It’s not even the right octave.

           “Ben?”  Luci sits up, quickly pressing his palms into this eyes and Ben turns the lights on.

            “I just came to get my tears. I left them here. Accidentally.” Ah, the awkward shuffle of a thirteen year old year old boy realizing he just admitted to crying.

            “I hear you had a fight with your mother.” Luci straightens his shirt, and gets to his feet, moving to the side to let Ben look. “That’s good. Maybe she’ll get her head out of her ass. Probably not but she cares about you so you have a better chance than most.”

             “Wow.” Ben checks the covers and lifts the pillow. “At first I thought you were being sarcastic but I guess you’re just trying to win me over. So… out with it.” He checks under the bed, his wavy white hair falling in front of his face a little when he bends over.

             “You need a haircut.” Luci can’t help but give a smile. “You’re starting to look like Sam.”

             “No, I’m asking you what you want from me.” He lifts the bed up entirely.

             “I just wanted to make sure you were alright and if you weren’t see what I could do. Having a falling out with your parent can be rough.”

             “Well, you would know.” The frostiness of this is slightly irritating. “What do you care about me and how I am? I’m not your son, not I’m sure, that would really make a difference given who my father is. Don’t come to me with your mind games, pretending you know me or know anything about me. I have no use for you and I’ll be damned if I let you use me.” Ben walks over to Luci and reaches into his pocket taking out his tears. Luci grabs his wrist.

             “All I want is to make sure you don’t make the same mistakes I did, or go down a path you can never undo. I don’t want you to suffer the way I did. Even a fraction of the way I did because you have in you the potential to rise as high as your mother and be as heroic and good as our Sam. But you also have in you the potential to sink as low as your father and I did. Who knows, perhaps you can sink lower and rise higher. That’s the thing about humanity. Each generation can be so much greater than the last, for good or evil.

              “And I care because I see in you so much of people I love and respect. I see someone good and pure who’s heart’s been broken and I see all the ways that can be used to destroy you and tear you down. Not the least because I’ve done it so many times. And you’re young and inexperienced. But you’re powerful and beautiful and there are always people who will want to use you for those reasons and nothing else. And you don’t know how to recognize them yet. I do.”

              “I know. After all, you made so many of them.” For some reason saying this angers Ben so much that Luci's hand sears with pain at the coldness of Ben's wrist. “You’re very good at destroying people.” Ben disappears without another word.

               Luci sits down on the bed again. He blew it. Ben obviously knew he had the tears and was just giving him an opportunity to say something anything to make things better but Luci didn’t say it. He doesn’t know what it was he was supposed to say. He usually knows the right thing to say and the right way to say it but now ... he’s completely lost whatever people skills he once had. Just when it actually matters.

                 This entire day has been nothing but a total disaster. And why? Because he fucking cares that’s why. Because he had to try and wear down Sam without causing him undue stress, or breaking him emotionally or physically. And at the moment being nice to him won’t work either. It’ll backfire especially badly.

               And Alex wants him to take pills and talk to her about this shit. As if that will change anything about the problems he has to deal with.

              “Helel.” Raphael appears, a scroll in hand. “We have a problem. Where’s Ben?”

              “I don’t know. He just… left. I tried to reach out to him, but he wasn’t having it.”

              “No, of course not. You’re his mother’s evil twin who he hates right now despite her virtues. And he just saw you stab Sam in the chest with a make-shift wooden stake. You are literally the last person who should be trying to reach out to him. Only your ego would be telling you otherwise. But we have a problem and I’m not sure what to do about this exactly.”

                 “Give it.” Luci holds out his hand. “Well, shit.” He curses. “First thing I suppose you make sure you’re here long enough to pick up the fugitive from the woods and don’t even think about going back into the any purgatory or I’ll have Michael around you.”

              “Helel…”

              “No.”

              “We can’t just leave Harahel…”

              “He’s not our Harahel. I’m not losing you to clean up that bitch’s mess. Do you understand?”

               “I don’t see why not. Half of my life is cleaning up after you, all of you.” Oh, look, Raphael the martyr is here. What a great fucking day.   

               “Well, at least it keeps you out of trouble. I mean, look at what happened the last time you didn’t have us to wreck havok.” Luci teases. “I’ll take care of this.”

               “No.” Raphael shakes his head, as if he thinks his elder brother is asking permission. “You are going to stay here and take care of yourself. Because quite frankly I don’t think sending one suicidal person after another is such a good idea. If you promise to stay here, I promise to stay here as well.”

               “Alright, but my promise only holds as long as yours does.” Luci taps him in the chest with a scroll.

               “Likewise.” Raphael holds out his hands. Of course, when Luci goes to shake it , he pulls his big brother into hug.

               “What are you…”

               “Oh shut up, you need one.”

               “Yeah, I kind of do.”


	48. School Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail goes back to school, makes a date and talks to freinds and family.

             “You’re awfully quiet.” Her uncle comments as Abigail picks at her porridge.

             “I’m not ready to go back to school.” She confesses. “I don’t know what to do about Jamal and Tris. Ben hasn’t come back yet. Abba’s out looking for him, but I don’t know how I’m going to concentrate on my lessons. And I can’t keep lying to my friends. Especially with what’s happened to Tris.”

             “Then don’t.” Luci says simply. “Tell them the truth. Not in the middle of school of course, but bring them over tonight after school, tell them and we’ll take them over tonight after school, tell them and we’ll take them to see Tris and her aunt. Who is handling things very well, for now. She’s guzzling coconut water which doesn’t seem to really hurt or help her beyond washing down the animal blood, and keeping her hydrated and satitating the oral fixation her transformtion prompts. I’ll see what I can do to figure out a way to help her.” Luci reaches out to brush her hair behind her ears.

             “Thank you.” Abigail replies. “Do you need some help?”

             “Sure. After you finish your homework and take care of your friends, you can help me.”

             “Thank you.”

             “If not tonight, we’ll do it tomorrow. It’s a pagan free weekend, so we’ll work on it together as a family. If you’re alright with that.” His last cautious statement confuses her a little.

              “Why wouldn’t I be?” Abigail frowns.

              “I was pretty harsh to you.”

              “Not really. You just called me irresponsible. But thank you for having such a high opinion of me that you think saying so was unforgivably harsh. Anyways you were upset, and if you were trying to be harsh you failed for pretty much everyone but the twins and Auntie Miqa. Shelly and I know what we did . It was hardly out of line for you to be upset with us anyways. Did you think I was mad at you for that?” Abigail was surprised. Luci doesn’t reply. “I’m sorry if I’ve seemed distant,but I kind of have a lot going on. I mean, I love you, Uncle, but my world doesn’t exactly revolve around you.” The slightly chagrined look on his face, makes Abigail feel bad, “I’m sorry. That was harsh. I don’t really know a nicer way to say it, though.”

              “No, I understand,” Luci forces a smile.  There is quite a lot going on. Just let me know if I can be of any help.”

              “You always are.” Abigail’s smile gets a real one out of her Uncle. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you were hurting so badly. I’ll try to be a bit more considerate.” Abigail gives her uncle a kiss as she brings her dish to the sink.  “If you can see Ben can you tell him I’m sorry and want to see him again. Ask him to call me. Oh, no he still doesn’t have a phone. Can… can you pray to nephilim? Does that work?”

               “For some of them, usually the ones that set themselves up as gods were able to hear prayers. I think it varies. I’ll make sure he gets a phone, though. Don’t be late for school.” He teases, handing his niece her backpack.

              “Don’t be late for your appointment.” Abigail replies seriously, slipping her shoes on and checks to make sure she has her keys. Riley and Chris are standing in the hallway when she leaves.

               “Is dad awake?” Chris asks and goes inside as Abigail holds the door open for her. They’ve both decided to be girls today it seems. Riley just turns her back on the apartment, angrily waiting for her sister to come back out. 

               “Hi.” Abigail stands next to her. Riley doesn’t say anything. “Are you waiting for Alice?”

               “No, she’s just getting a few more minutes of practice hitting the dummy in while she was waiting for you.” Riley shrugs. “So, I guess you’re going to tell me to forgive him.” She accuses. 

                “I’m not.”

                “Because he hasn’t even apologized to me yet. Or to mom. He just left and went over to his favorite’s apartment.” She gives Abigail a scowl.

                 “Oh come on, we both know Shelly’s his favorite and he’s just afraid of making things worse with you.”

                 “It’s because she’s a nephilim. Isn’t it?” Riley accuses. Her glare threatening to burn a hole in the wall. “And now there’s Ben and he’s great but he’s not human either so dad’s going to like him best because Ben’s his son, more than either of us could be. I don’t want to be something he loves because he thinks he has to.”

                 “You’re not, though.” Abigail says simply. “He’s not really there yet, loving because he feels he’s thinks he’s supposed to or has to. I really doubt he ever will be to be honest. And I won’t say he’s notas prissy about humanity as Ben is sometimes, but  he’s better than he was, I guess. He loves you and think’s you and Chris are the best humans ever. I run a close third. And trust me, Uncle Sam being Ben’s father is way more of a problem than you two being just human is.

                  “Oh, that’s supposed to make it okay?”

                  “No, and I’m not saying to forgive him. I just don’t want you to think something hurtful that makes you feel bad when it’s just not true. I know how you feel, Ry. I don’t understand why they decided to make me just human and it doesn’t seem fair, really. But it is what it is, and it doesn’t make us lesser. It just makes us different.” Abigail pinches Riley cheek. “I love you too, and think you’re both wonderful little pain in the asses. I do have to go though, I need to speak to Jamal before class and I need to go down to get Alice.” 

               “Okay.” Riley shrugs again and looks down at the floor. “I’ll be fine, and if not, mom’s inside. So…”

               “Have a good day.” Abigail gives her cousin a kiss and heads to the elevator. This is not going to be fun.

               “Hello.” Abigail nervously greets Jamal by his locker.

               “Hi.” He smiles at her. She’s finally talking to him. “I’ve been kind of worried about you, but you haven’t really seemed like you wanted to talk to anyone. I mean you told your friends that you needed some space for a little while, what with Tris missing and everything. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about things now?”

                “No.” Abigail feels her heart sink a little. “I don’t, honestly. I’d like a little bit of my life where I can just get away from all the rest of it. Not talk about anything. just have fun. You know.” She confesses.

              “Yeah. I do. Even my job is for my family, so I understand. I’m not working tonight though. Do… would it be okay with your family. If we went to a movie and dinner tonight? After school? Are you still grounded?”

               “I… I’ll have to check. We should really go to home room.” She motions back to the class.

                “Right. I’ll… do you need me to… want me to carry your books for you?” Jamal offers with old fashioned gallantry that doesn’t exactly thrill her.

                “No, thank you.” Abigail declines as she is fairly sure the combination of both their books would injure him.

                 “Oh, okay.” He walks silently, next to her as she kicks herself mentally. What is wrong with her? She likes Ben. But Ben’s also being a little bit of a prejudiced asshole, and he’s not going to be here forever even if he wasn’t. In truth he might end up being every bit as extra as Shelly. And Jamal’s nice and dependable, and sweet and cute. Plus he’s just as human as she is. But she doesn’t really feel that way about him anymore. Maybe she just needs to spend some time with him. Why not date?

                   “No! Oh, I forgot I have to do something with Kat and Rose tonight. When’s your next night off?” Abigail stops walking.

                    “I’ll have to check. But it’s not too late tomorrow. I only have to cover from after school to when my sister gets there so maybe tomorrow? So maybe then?”

                   “Yes. I’ll see if it’ll alright with my parents.”

                   “Do you want to eat lunch together today?” Jamal asks shyly.

                   “Not today I wanted to spend some time with my friends. Maybe tomorrow.” Abigail replies. What is she doing? What is she saying? No, it’s one date, one lunch that’s it. It’s not a world changing event. Is it?  Well, maybe if Ben likes her too, but he wouldn’t talk to her that way or just disappear like this if he did.

               “No, it’s fine. We’ve missed you. Is your cousin okay?” Kat gives Abigail a hug, as they sit at the picnic table while they still can.

 

              “She’s pregnant.” Abigail says flatly. “But otherwise she’s fine. She’s not going in bursting in on my life randomly for a while so that’s good.”

              “But I thought she was a lesbian. Oh, does Alice know?” Kat gapes.

               “She does. It’s fine. Could the two of you come over tonight? I kind of wanted to talk to you about something important and maybe a little weird.”

              “Sure why not. Your dad always gets us home on time.  Though no lunch basket today?”

              “No, he’s been really busy lately.” Abigail shakes her head. “I do have a question though. Do you think it’s appropriate to date someone you used to like and don’t know why you stopped liking in order to see if you really do like them after all?” Kat and Rose seem to take this question very seriously.

              “Well, I don’t see why not.” Kat shrugs after a minute.

              “How else are you going to find out?” Rose adds, stealing Abigail’s crisp homemade pickles from her lunch box. “Mmmm. You guys should sell these.”

              “Yes, but what if you do like someone else who’s handsome and charming and smart and sweet, but you don’t want to like him because he’s also an asshole with racist tendencies he’s not fully aware of.”

               “Ooo, that’s a little more complicated.” Kat scrunches her nose.

               “He’d have to be pretty damn cute to overlook that.” Rose shakes her head. “Not that you should…”

                “Plus he won’t be here long.” Abigail sighs. “We are going to talk long distance, though.  But is it unfair to the person I’m dating?”

                “That’s even more complicated. Did JJ ask you out finally?” Kat pries.

                “Yes. We’re going to the movies after he’s finished working tomorrow. And dinner. Do you think maybe I should pay?” 

                “Nope, the person who asks pays.” Rose says firmly pointing the pickle at her.

                “It’s not like you meet your husband when you’re thirteen. Anymore. Thank god.” Kat crosses her chest.

                “Old guys who want thirteen year old girls are creepy and pathetic. “Rose emphasises this with the last bit of pickle.

                “Pedophailes.” Kat nods.

                “Ephebephiles. We’re not children, we’re just not really adults.” Abigail corrects them. They clearly patronize her with this silence.

                 “It’s not like you don’t have your pick, Abs. A lot of the freshmen and even a few of the seniors really took notice of your new look.” Kat sings with a conspiratorial smile. 

                 “That’s okay. Thanks.”

                 “So what movie are you and JJ going to see?” Rose asks looking for another l pickle and not very discreetly.

                  “I don’t know yet. Whatever’s on when we get there I guess.” Abigail takes out a small jar of pickles from her bag and hands it to Rose. And then some pickled quail eggs for Kat, who gasps and hugs it to her chest.

                 “You have to be careful. Though if a boy takes you to a horror movie you know he’s only after sex.” Kat tucks the jar into her bag. “You know, because the adrenaline from hear makes you think you’re falling in love and you’ll be all eeee! Jamal! Oh save me you big strong man” Kat clings to Abigail’s arm. Unfortunately Abigail can’t help but laugh her head off at this. As if she would ever be scared by a movie. 

                  “I can see your point, but he’ll be disappointed if that’s true. I don’t scare that easily.” Abigail shakes her head as her friends look behind her, jaws slightly dropping. Probably one of her relatives coming by again. Have they seen her Uncle Sam yet? 

                  “Hi.” She looks back to see Ben with a tray of hot coffee cups and a bag that’s still sort of steaming. The first thing she notices is his hour is in loose half curls  surrounding his head like a white fluffy halo. And he seems different. Taller maybe? Cuter? Not possible. Older? Maybe he just looks older because he’s sad. “I’m sorry to interrupt but I wanted to apologize for being such an ass the other day. I shouldn’t have spoken to you that way. And I didn’t mean it the way it sounded, I really didn’t.” He places the bag on the table and passes out cups. “It’s raspberry hot chocolate if that’s alright. “ He looks to Kat and Rose just nods silently. “And some freshly fried donuts with powdered sugar. I know you like the fluffy kind.” 

                   “The apology would have been enough. You don’t have to bribe me,” Abigail tries not to feel out of sorts about this. “I guess I forgive you. I’m still not happy about it though. And hot chocolate and donuts won’t fix that.”

                    “Would a hug help?” The absolutely sincere and pitiful look in his ice blue eyes make Kat squeak a little. Rose just drinks her hot chocolate trying not to make an ass of herself. “I am sorry.” he doesn’t wait for her reply this time which is a little odd. The cutest thing about it was that he waited for and accepted her answer. Maybe he needs one.

                   “Are you okay?” She asks him quietly in enochian, not really having it in her to fully return the hug. “I’m sorry I didn’t listen better.”

                   “I’m alright now. Thank you.” He let’s go. “I should really get back home and let your father know I’m alright.. I’ll see you tonight?”

                  “Yes, but Rose and Kat are coming over. I’m going to be telling them about…  you know.” She doesn’t want to say Tris’ name yet.

                   “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He clearly thinks it’s not.

                   “No, but they have a right to know. Especially being our friends.” 

                   “ Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn’t be putting them at risk this way by being friends with them?” Ben says a little regretfully.

                  “Yes, but it’s not as if the danger only exists because they know me. It’s because she knows me that my friend wasn’t just killed when the serum didn’t work. And it’s because of our friendship that she kind of knew where to go for help. And I do have to find a way to help her still. I’ll be working with Uncle this weekend. You’re welcome to join us if you can be polite.”

              “Can she not speak to me?”

              “I doubt it. Silence is never going to be one of his virtues. He’s worried about you too but he’s not your mother so don’t give him lip. It’s more like he and Uncle Sam are your parent’s long lost twins. I guess that’s the best way to put it.”

              “I’ll do my best. Is it alright if I come back and walk you home?”

              “Absolutely!” Kat exclaims before Abigail can reply. Ben smiles and gives  the girls a brief crisp salute before walking off. “Oh my god!”  Kat grabs and shakes i arm. “Why are you constantly surrounded by gorgeous people and do you have any for us?”

              “You’re related aren’t you?” Rose sighs.

              “Kind of. Not genetically, but he’s kind of a cousin.”

              “So… a kissing cousin?” Rose grins. Abigail’s lack of withering sarcastic remark says it all.   ”Aw… he’s the racist ashole isn’t he?”

              “Yes.”

              “He is the whitest person I have ever seen.” Rose sips her hot chocolate.

               “Yes, he is.”Abigail grins. “I don’t know. But that’s not the important thing. The important thing is what I have to talk to you about this afternoon. Maybe you can spend the night? Well, the weekend maybe?” 

               “Still have that hot tub and indoor pool?” Rose asks.

               “Of course. And a massage bed now too.”

               “Have your people call our people and we’re good to go.” Rose gives her a thumbs up, as does Kat.

                “Okay.”

                “Look, you know you can talk us. Whatever’s wrong or upsetting to you, right?” Kat puts a hand on her wrist. I know Tris is your bestie and this whole thing is hard on you just like it was hand on her when you disappeared. Which you never really gave us a good explanation for by the way. Just a crappy bullshit one that we accepted as you not really being ready to talk about it.”   
                “I know. I will this weekend. I promise.” Abigail sighs and takes out a donut. It smells delicious. 

                “Abby!” A yellow blur tackles her from the bench just as she puts the hot chocolate down. “I’m not grounded.” Shelly baby cousin. “And Alice still loves me and Dad’s okay am picking out baby names. And mom’s being cool and I haven’t even had to bring up Sleipnr once.”

                “I would never bring up Sleipnr.” Abigail shoves her away. “And what are you doing? Are insane? You’re pregnant, you can’t do things like great people with a flying tackle! You definitely don’t start doing it.” she punches Shelly’s arm.

                “FIGHT!” Someone yells because of course they would.”

                “We’re not…” Abigail starts before noticing the grin on Shelly’s face that she doesn’t like at all. “Shelly? Michelle. No.”

                “TICKLE FIGHT!” Never one to reject being the center of attention, Shelly starts to tickle her cousin without mercy until Abigail runs out of enochian curses and is forced to respond in kind.

                 “Why are you such a pain in the ass? What’s wrong with you?” Abigail sits on Shelly’s back.

                 “What I can’t want to play with my baby cousin?”

                 “Not in the middle of school you reprobate!” Abigail gets up trying her best to ignore the crowd. Shelly just laughs. Now go home and take care of that baby before you get me in trouble.” Of course from the parting of the crowd by the lunchroom monitor, it’s already too late.”

                “Ladies? What’s going on here?” He looks at Shelly and Abigail’s dirt and grass stained clothing, already having made up his mind. “Are we going to have to call the police?”

                 “No, sir.” Abigail gives a dejected sigh, head down. 

                 “For a tickle fight?” Shelly raises an eyebrow. Abigail gently elbows her. “Oh, relax, I got this. I’m afraid there’s been a bit of a misunderstanding, sir.”

                  “The crowd gathered for a tickle fight?” He crosses his arms.

                  “Well, we are two very attractive girls rolling around in the dirt with our hands all over each other sir.” Shelly replies demurely, much to Abigail’s dismay

                  “And the screaming?” He face shows clearly that he instantly regrets the question. “And angry yelling?”

                  “Oh, that. Well, Abby was just telling me to go screw myself in another language so as not to offend the delicate sensibilities of the younguns. As for the screaming,” Shelly reaches over and quickly tickles one of Abigail’s sensitive spots making her shriek. “Isn’t that just adorable?”

                  “Fine. I’ll let you two off with a warning. But I don’t want anymore disturbances like this, understand?”

                  “Yes, sir.” They reply.

                 “Alright, my little Abby-gale. I have to skeedadle. Mom’s making me work in the nursery this afternoon.” Shelly kisses her irritated cousin’s cheek and skips off back home.


	49. Damaged, Breaking, Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other thread's Alex, Harahel and Raphael are not having a good day.

       “Are you sure about this?” Alex asks Undi as they head back towards the middle of the levi’s garden. She feels not a little like she’s in the Wizard of Oz, and not as Dorothy. maybe the cowardly lion, or the scarecrow. Maybe a scarecrow of the cowardly lion. Follow the abrasive chemical road! Of course that would make the levi the flying monkeys. Is Eve the wicked witch of the west? No she’s out of the picture here. The wicked witch of the east then. And here they dropped the devil on her instead of a house.

       “Would you rather stay and let my angel’s sacrifice be in vain?” Undi snaps thankfully before she can laugh at her own ridiculousness.

        “They seem nice enough here, I guess, and I’ll just end up being sent back to my purgatory anyways when I die there, right back into that hellhole, so what’s the point? Should I just go back to my life as a vampire and risk hurting people? Especially given that if I don’t and I get sent back, I’m just bait all over again? It doesn’t give me much incentive to stay on the wagon, you have to admit.” Alex points out. Not a few vampires in earshot murmur agreement. The pure terror of being the levi’s favorite snack is enough to make any half turned eat just one person. And it never stops at just one even if you can stop eventually.

         “I don’t care what you think. Harahel thought you deserved a second chance at life, real actual life and not this empty imitation. And since he had faith in you, I have faith in you and you’re going to have faith in you if it fucking kills me! Understand?” Undi pokes her in the shoulder with his good arm. They managed to put the other one back together enough to be a sort of presentable stump, but angelic smiting, even from the littlest angel, is beyond their best healer’s skill to fully repair.

           “Undi, maybe you should have a little faith in him. He might not be dead.”Alex points out. Undi doesn’t say anything, he just turns a little pale.

            “He’s trying to be optimistic.” One of the weres walking with them says what no one else would. “ If an angel dies, even in here they go to the empty to rest. If he doesn’t die, in a world where Eve and the Levi hold sway and the nephilim have no reason to be friendly to one of the uncles that put them here, then it’s endless fighting or endless torture until he does.”

            “Oh.” Alex says simply, and remains silent. “Could he be rescued?”

            “The angels won’t rescue him, St. Lucifer won’t risk any angels to rescue him, and I can’t think of any who’d defy her for him. He’s just a librarian and he violated a very clear order not to rescue you.”

             “I thought St. Lucifer was the patron saint of the fallen. His whole thing… I mean, her whole thing is that he will never give up on you no matter how far you fall so long as you ask for his help. Why would he just abandon his brother like that? Of course, for that matter why did he just write me off?” She demands, hoping desperately for some good explanation, that there’s a legitimate valid reason why when the blood was shoved down her throat, or even when she ran, begging to heavens for forgiveness and salvation, no one answered, no one came, no one cared. The only one who did just... died trying and failing to help her. No one saved her when she was taken from her family, if they’re even still alive. There has to be some other explanation.

              “She’s not so great.” Undi replies bitterly. “She’s arrogant, holier than thou to the extreme, stubborn, jealous and just so fucking arrogant and self-righteous. I can’t help hating her every bit as much as Harahel refuses to. In fact I would rather go to hell than heaven if only because she’s not there.” Alex just really doesn’t know what to say. “Hara wasn’t perfect either but he doesn’t deserve her bullshit.”

              “I don’t know where my body is buried.” Alex tries to squirm out of it.

              “You don’t have one.” Undi says in an unnecessarily blunt manner. Is he trying to convince her to live or not to? “It was salted and burned by the hunters who found you. But he’s asked a friend to make you one when we get back. If not I’m going home and I’m taking you to the abyss where you can rest and heal in peace before you’re ready to be reincarnated in a new human life.”

               “Can’t I just do that then?” She asks.

               “Don’t you have loved ones, friends, people important to you to make life worth living again?” 

                “No. And I don’t think, seeing as I’m a vampire, that I would do anything but destroy and endanger the lives of people who could be.”

                “No one?”  Undi asks, a little softer, this time.

                “No, no one. And I appreciate that your angel made this big sacrifice to save me, even if it seems more and more like he was trying to kill himself with it. But you know he didn’t do it so I could go out and destroy other people’s lives and go right back to that mindless nightmare of neverending deception and betrayal. And I swear to God that if you don’t do what I’m asking of you, I will complete my transformation with your blood because I am not being used and baited like that again! Do you hear me? I’m not!” She stops, grabbing Undi’s collar, a wild look in her eyes. Undi’s silent for a moment as the young vampire fights back tears, and struggles to regain control of herself.

                “I won’t let you go back there. I promise. Even if I have to keep you in me until i die and drag you up to heaven myself.” Undi swears gallantly. “For my angel.”

                “Okay.” She takes a breath. “Okay, Do.. whatever you have to do, as long as I don’t go back there. I’ll… I’ll be okay.”

                “How close are we?” Undi asks the closest vampire.

                “Fairly close. You should take her in at the next safe house.” He replies. “But if I could speak with her a bit first.”

                 “Okay.” Undi falls behind a little to give them a little privacy as does everyone else.

                  “Ms. Alex.” The vampire says gently. “You’ve been given an opportunity that so many of us would love to hear. You say you don’t have anyone out there, but it looks as if you might have a friend already. Someone you can rely on, who might need your help in return. That young man has just lost someone very important to him, someone who saw so much good and potential in you that they risked their life to give you back yours.”

                  “Neither of them even know me. They never met me, never heard of me, not that there was anything good to hear. What do they know about me to do this? I am a bad person and just an excuse for a sad angel’s suicide.”

                  “Well, from what I heard just from you two talking back at the castle. You saved two very young people from the Leviathan, condemning yourself to the gardens. And you didn’t even know them or talk to them or know anything about them when you did it. You just did it. I don’t know much about angels, but that kind of thing is something they supposedly really value in a person. Don’t put yourself down. Just make him proud.”

              “How?”

              “I’m sure, Undy over there could tell you that. He knows his angel better than any of us. He’s not exactly at his best right now, but then neither are you, you know. Don’t give upon life yet. You see you have an advantage. You’re an alcoholic who know’s he’s an alcoholic before even taking that first drink. It’s harder to abstain when you know what you’re missing, you don’t. And you owe it to yourself and this man and his angel to try as hard as you possibly can. Understand?”

             “I understand.” She nods, not really feeling up to arguing.

             “Maybe you don’t think you’re all that good, but you’re at least good enough. When you get out, before you go home, find Dean winchester, talk to him a bit. Just once you get out, pray to Castiel and he’ll help get you in touch. The Winchesters are good friends to have. That’s probably true anywhere. Okay, cher?”

              “Yeah, well,” Alex takes a deep breath. “I’d rather stay here with you. This place… this place has it together.”

              “Well, maybe you can use your new life to help get things together in yours. Gather allies in life, learn, train, or just give up and crawl under a rock. it’s up to you. Forget who you are, who do you want to be? And how hard will you try to be it?”

              “Does it matter?”

              “That’s all that matters, isn’t it.” He smiles pinching her cheek. “Now, come on. We’re almost there.”

              Harahel just sits in his cage, aching, confused. They’ve taken all his feathers. one by one, and they’ve used them to decorate the coral palaces on the ocean floor. He can see them sparkling in the light of his own grace. The bars burn with a pain he’s almost numb to, until he moves. It almost feels like the darkness that buried his heart all those years ago.

              One of the black shadows drifts over and reaches part of itself into the cage stinging, almost entering his very being. And then the whispering begins. You will never see your little boy again. His mother will hate you forever. No one will miss you, if they even notice you’re gone. Over and over until the tears come again, falling out of the cage into the soft seagrass bed below.

              Other black shadows rustle through them carrying them away to the garden. The shadow withdraws and forms into the shape of Helel reaching back in to pat his head, mocking him. The cage he’s in shifts and moves, widening and letting him down onto the now tear free grasses below. It’s large enough for him to lie down on and rest. This will be his life, forever until there’s nothing left. 

               But at least they won’t let Ben know. Maybe just maybe he’ll get to see him again. If he can last long enough. No, Helel will find away to keep him from this place. And at least his tears will keep some of the poor souls in here from suffering the way that girl was. And the grass is beautiful and soft, harmonic.  It relaxes him like he thought nothing could. Almost as much as the garden when they were fledgelings. If he draws himself in, he can forget where he is. He’s created so many places for his vessel, it’s almost easy creating one for himself. Just memories, he can watch over and over again. 

               Ben’s first smile. Ben’s first steps, his first laugh. Ben was so upset when Hara said he didn’t need an angel anymore. He feels bad lying to him, but there was no way to say goodbye that wouldn’t have hurt him somehow. At least this way, Ben wouldn’t blame his mother, and they could grow closer the way they should have when she was brought back. 

              Hopefully Nathaniel will understand, and forgive him for taking his blade into purgatory. Hopefully Undi got it back to him. Undi’s better with it than Harahel ever was anyways. And Undi’s hand… He didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t let the Levi over take or destroy him. Hopefully Undi can forgive him for the damage he knows he caused. At least it’s not as bad as it could have been. Maybe. He doesn’t hurt at the moment, that’s all that matters.

               “I don’t recall seeing you before.” A new Leviathan walks across the bottom of the ocean floor. She’s in the form of a gentle looking old woman, her grey hair waving in the currents. Harahel doesn’t reply. “Did they make new angels after the war?”     

                “No.”

                “So you just didn’t fight us.”  

                “No. I… I can’t fight. I would have if I could though. You things were breaking everything and our father had things to make.”

                “He made us too, though. Didn’t we matter?”

                “I thought you were Auntie’s creations.” He confesses.

                “No, he made us. We were daddy’s little janitors.  Our aunt made us something more. She made us better. My children tell me you’ve felt her touch. Pieces of her are still deep within you, dimming your abrasive angelic glow.”

                 “Oh, no, I was always this way. I was never the brightest or biggest angel in heaven.” Hara confesses.

                 “Aww. poor angel.” She pouts. “Even his chosen ones aren’t always good enough it seems.” 

                  “Angels aren’t his favorites. Humanity is. It’s easy to see why, too, they’re really darling creatures. You only see the ones the mother of all monsters altered and infected. But they’re just so amazing regardless. They can create things, they’re entertaining, they’re so sweet and thoughtful and funny and they can learn. And you would have just eaten everything up before any of the amazing things could be made.  Just like how Auntie would have broken anything, but he loves her anyways. I know he loves you because he made you your own place instead of just destroying you. And this is such a nice place too, from what I’ve seen of it.”

                  “A nice place?” She raises an eyebrow, unable to completely believe this thing is actually trying to tell her this prison is a nice place to eat.

                  “It’s beautiful. Though it’s hard to appreciate it when you’re in pain, or always fighting. And it’s quiet, too, with great acoustics and it’s so peaceful and calm. It would be so nice to just take my vessel and curl up in a tree or by a brook and just read and read. Heaven is nice and earth is nice too, but they can both be so noisy. In heaven you can hear everyone else’s song and you’re never just yourself, though that’s better than it was, even in the garden.” 

                   “Earth is better than this, you know it is.” She shakes her head.  He really actually is trying to… to what is this angel trying to accomplish with this?

                 “Yeah, because you aren’t there eating and destroying everything. If you could manage not to do that it would be different, probably. But I’m not an autority on anything and no one in authority cared about me or even likes me, much less would listen to me about anything. So I can’t really say for sure.”

                  “Perhaps we could change. Reform the way your other sister did.  Perhaps such a sweet little things such as you, could help us become better beings.” She smiles kindly. Harahel just looks at her, an annoyed and surprisingly sassy look on his bright and shining face.

                  “I’m not that sweet. And especially not that stupid. I don’t think you are either.  He replies. “You don’t need me to teach you how not to do things. You just have to decide it’s worth it. And I’m not so arrogant as to think I can see through you or counter you enough to keep from making a horrible mistake. Not to mention it’s been a very long time since I was that blindly optimistic enough about anything to try.” 

                  “Even if it means you won’t be kept in this cage and milked for your tears for all eternity?” The old Levi replies cooly.

                  “Especially if that’s what it means." Harahel’s forget’s just as old. 

                  “Suit yourself. I was giving you a chance to do some good in here.” She sadly shakes her head and dissolves into a massive black shadow greater than all the other’s combined, pressing the cage back tighter around Harahel until he can no longer even move.

                 “Let go of me!” Raphael wrestles with Helel on the dark side of the moon as his brother refuses to give up his attempt to force him into submission without actually harming him which is somehow even more infuriating. “You selfish self centered asshole.”

                  “You stupid brat! Will you just give in already? I’m trying not to hurt you!”

                 “Because Michael would kick your ass if you did." He refuses to grant Helel any sort of benevolent motivation in this.

                  “As if she wouldn’t ground you to the damn garden if she knew where you were going or what you were trying to do. Or worse yet go in there herself. Sure she’ll stay at her post to let you go calm down, but not to invade purgatory alone. And she’ll find out if you don’t calm yourself down for one damn minute!” Raphael stops fighting for a second, but still won’t give an inch of ground. “And you know very well your wife will go in after you too and as she is they will know everyting she knows, they might even just decide to eat her, or at parts of her, or worse. Which I was trying to tell you before you did someting stupid!”

                  “Well, at least you care about one of your siblings.” Litlte mister smart ass just has to say. Helel gives a frustrated exclamation and lets go of his brother.

                  “Oh for a light in the darkness. I care about all of them you… ingrate! Even stubborn sarcastic pain in the asses like you, and I am not letting you go in there trying to rescue an angel who’s probably already dead. Or will be by the time you can reach him.”

                  “He isn’t yet. And I could have gotten him out in the time you wasted trying to… to .. what in the name of all that is are you tryng to do here? Convince me to abandon that poor little defenseless angel you hate to death or torture?” Raphael rubs his frozen almost cracking wrists. Apparently Helel defines ‘not hurt’ as not feeling actual physical pain. Which explains a hell of a lot. “ Because that is never going to happen. I am not going to let you do to him what you did to me. Do you understand?”

                 “I won’t HAVE to do to him what I did to you because Harahel does as he’s fucking told!” Helel counters. Raphael just looks at him at this. “Usually.”

                 “I’m not going to let you hurt him anymore, Helel! I don’t care what I have to do you understand me? It’s not going to happen again! Not to me not to anyone!”

                 Helel just looks at his baby brother, who’s clearly struggling with himself immensely to either do or not do something.

                 “Raphael.” Helel says gently removing himself to a reasonable distance from his trembling brother. “Raphael… I never should have done to you what I did. I was wrong. It was inexcusable,and it was down right evil.” Helel steels himself.

                  “No shit!”

                  “Will you shut up? I’m talking!”

                  “When aren’t you?”  

                  “I’m trying to tell you again that I’m sorry and that I forgive you. No, that I don’t need to forgive you because there’s nothing to forgive. “She shakes her head. Raphael just widens his eyes at this, hoping she’s going to say what it sounds like she’s about to say. If anyone knows the the truth she would. Right? “You had every right to do what you did, letting me die like that, and I just…” She’s interuppted by an enraged fist to the cheek, followed by another and another that Helel forces herself not to return. All the while Raphael screams at her.

                  “I DIDN’T FUCKING LET YOU DIE!”


	50. Mildly Inconvenient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the delay. I've been really sick lately. Hopefully this chapters better than the last two.

           Helel gives a sigh and looks at the original entryway to purgatory. She’d forgotten about this. Of course she didn’t make it, their father did, and he’d said he’d taken care of it, and so did Michael. But no it’s still there, It’s just only one way. You can go in but you can’t get out. And it sends you right over the ocean. Which is why it wasn’t worth more than a simple warding to keep things from accidentally getting in, which means it also doesn’t let solid matter through either, much like heaven’s gate. Was Raphael going to sacrifice his vessel for this or had he not bothered to remember to look this up? Either way he clearly wasn’t thinking.

          Fortunately he was still in his vessel, so once he calmed down a little he was easy to deal with, relatively. He won’t be happy when he wakes up, but it’s kind of clear things are far beyond Helel ever being able to make him happy, so keeping him safe, healthy and not killed or tortured by vengeful leviathan will have to be good enough. Hopefully when he wakes he’ll show a little common sense. Even more hopefully he won’t wake before Helel gets Harahel out of there.

          There’s finally nothing around, so Helel emerges from the ether, stepping out of her body like a strapless dress after a long day, and encases it in a protective coating of ice for when he needs it again. Without waiting to watch it sink into the Bermuda Triangle, Helel squeezes himself through the portal into the sky above the sea of purgatory.  It’s a rich almost primordial ocean, much like the one they were removed from. It’s bland but interesting like a huge box of legos.

           It’s quiet here. Subdued. Except for the small voice crying out, a deep wordless apology, but for what, he’s not sure. It’s coming from deep in the waters a bit closer to the land. He hasn’t heard that since Harahel tripped and accidentally speared Castiel with his blade during training. He was inconsolable and when Raphael thought he was consoled enough,  he just went and threw his blade out of heaven into that same leviathan filled primordial ocean and hid in the garden. When Michael found out..  Harahel was lucky Helel was there and feeling like starting a fight with Michael over just about anything.

          And again he’s gotten himself in trouble. and needs Helel to rescue him. He’d better not even think about doing a stupid things like this again. She’ll have to go in fast, grab Harahel and get airborne. It’s actually to his advantage that little angel’s in the water.

Helel’s always had a special affinity for water, it is her element. As much as it is theirs. In truth that shared affinity and a less vital but still important chance to do what she was made to do, let her trap that female Leviathan that was supposed to be the one killed instead of the male and would have stopped there from being a real problem with Levi in the first place. Of course Michael didn’t have a real choice, the male was about to devour Gabriel and Michael didn’t hate her yet. Not that Miqa wouldn’t have made the decision to save her little sister regardless, but she might have  hesitated and Gabriel would have been saved but with a much more severe Injury. Leviathan can do terrible things to angel’s.

             Speeding as fast as she can, she dives she dives down into the ocean towards where the faint light is the brightest. Helel easily freezes and purifies the water around her as she goes creating a tunnel of fresh pure water, down into the ocean floor where his tiny brother is held in a small cage, above some sea grass covered with grace filled pearl tears. More tears than any angel has shed in a single Day. Helel is forced to remind herself that she’s just doing a snatch and grab. She’s not there to punish the beings who dared to hurt one of her little siblings this way. She’s not Michael. Her common sense can override her anger and desire for vengeance. She can get Harahel to safety and come back later, much more prepared to make them suffer until they each shed as many 

tears themselves. Harahel looks up as she approaches, pushing his arm through bars it shouldn’t fit through, scraping grace off into the current in the proccess.

               “Don’t!” He calls out too late as Helel grabs the bars to rip the cage open. The leviathan holding it together swarm up around Helel’s arms. They freeze almost instantly, shattering along with the cage, but Helel’s hands and arms are streaked with darkness and shadow. Everything grows colder in the brief pause Helel takes before catching her plucked faded brother in her arms, holding him close. “Don’t. Don’t.. get out of here before she comes back.” Hara warns, pushing Helel away, with his weak useless little arms.

                “Do you really think telling me what to do is a good idea right now?” Helel retorts testily and makes her way back up towards the surface of the ocean. Leviathan slam themselves into the thick icy walls to try and get to them, but they can’t. They’re idiots, they always were. The bright reflective surface grows closer and closer until a dark gaping maw larger than even Helel herself crashes down on them, crunching the ice tunnel, completely blocking their escape. Helel retreats, freezing more, thicker ice around them as she goes, but it keeps biting and breaking through it all, barely slowing in its pursuit.

                  Helel plants her feet in the sea grass, spreading her wings to help change the currents and keep the little ones away from them. Hopefully the act also helps prevent the big leviathan from being joined by all the smaller ones away in the process. But her leg collapses out from under her, allowing Momma Levi to bite through her right wing. Though severed, the remnant of wing dissolves its mouth slipping back out through its teeth to rejoin and reform the injured wing. Though when it does, it’s much darker than it was before. The Leviathan draws back slightly, not liking the cold freezing numbness it left in his mouth, there’s not taste at all of anything.

                   The horror of the thought of loosing the only real pleasure they have makes the voracious mass pause long enough for Helel to regroup and put everything she has into freezing the levi’s entire ocean into nothing but a big block of ice around them.

 

                 “Helel..” Harahel reaches up to his big brother’s face, as they just sit in the ice, Helel holding the little angel tightly to her chest like a small child. In truth Harahel is fairly dwarfed by the archangel, especially now he’s so dimmed, it’s a wonder he can tell his light from Helel’s at all. The archangel is so cold, her wings are frozen her hair is frozen, all but the parts of her holding Harahel are. “You didn’t have to come, I wasn’t going to help them get out.” is all he can think of to say as he tries to warm her up just a little, but there’s no recourse.

                    She must be hurting. Especially with the darkness trapped in her limbs. Is it darkness like THE darkness? Or just corruption from the Leviathan? He knows how much they both hurt so it probably doesn’t make a difference. Honestly they feel practically the same.

                    “I’m sorry. Please don’t die. Don’t leave me alone. I wouldn’t have done this is I thought I’d survive it. Or that you’d come after me. I just wanted to help that girl and to let you and Ben get closer, and if I never got to see Ben again, as long as I lived, at least it wouldn’t be that long.”

                     “You wanted Ben and me to get closer. Really. Is that why you painted me as an unreasonable jealous bitch? And set me up to be blamed for your death?” Comes the irritated reply from cracking lips of ice. 

                       “I didn’t set you up to be blamed for this. How can I make him blame you for any of this. Does he know? No. I told Undi to make sure no one told him about this. He’s just going to keep thinking I’m up in my library.”

                       ”Maybe he doesn’t know yet, you brat, but your friends and vessel are never going to let this go and secrets like this never stay kept.” Helel keeps her eyes tightly shut. “And why did you think I wouldn’t come after you? Just because I’m angry with you for stealing my son, doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. I don’t care what Raph thinks.” Helel mutters. “At least you left my husband alone. I suppose I can feel grateful for that.”

                       “I didn’t steal your son! All I tried to do was love him as much as you would. And I have never had any interest in your husband or any person like that. You know that. Why are you being so nasty? It’s not as if I don’t have enough flaws as it is. Why do you feel the need to make some up?” Harahel bristles, but stops himself. “I’m sorry, you’re hurting and upset and I shouldn’t be a smartass when you came to rescue me.” 

                   “I’d be worried if you weren’t.”  But his reply is a little softer. “I’ve kind of gotten used to this. It’s hard to believe being infected by darkness made Gabriel a selfish murderous prankster, Michael an arrogant reorganizer of existence, and My counterpart apparently tried to destroy humanity in a jealous rage.  You just became a sarcastic rude little recluse refusing to put yourself out for anyone but yourself, wanting only to be left along.”

                  “Well, I’m just not very ambitious in general or powerful or anything that would let me cause any real damage. I never tried to take Ben away from you, Helel. I just loved him and tried to love him as much as you loved me and more. I knew you’d love him so much better than I could, but I just did my best. It was hard at first, but just saying his name reminded me how much you cared for me and that the last thing you did was try to bring me back. And the glow of his grace was yours. the ice blue eyes were yours. Then he became himself and I couldn’t have helped but love him more than I ever, thought I could love anything. I didn’t try to take him from you I tried to give him you, the very best of you as much as I could.”Helel is silent for a while after this. It’s a very uncomfortable silence, but it’s not unpleasant. Maybe it’s a good silence, a forgiving silence. At least it’s not an angry silence. Helel breaks it by asking a question she’s never asked him before.

                   “What was he like, my Ben? As a baby?”

                   “Like a cute little snowball with tiny fluffy wings that he kept manifesting when he was sleeping on his stomach with his little butt up in the air. Those little wavy white locks and lovely little lips. I wanted to make a little ceramic statue of him and sell it in store by greeting cards, in florists and before and after the 700 club.  He’s put that ridiculous ‘precious moments’ trash collection out of business.”

                     “Can you show me?” Helel asks quietly. “I’ve seen pictures but they’re so… one dimensional.

                 “I… I’m not sure how. I still can’t do illusions very well. I can make muppets, though. Or muppet-like creatures, he liked them at least. They made him laugh. It got his first laugh actually. I was trying to tell him the story of the tortoise and the hare. The TV was broken and I promised Mule not to try and fix it after what happened to the blender.”

                  “What happened to the…”

                  “I don’t want to talk about it. If it’s not a book. I have no business near it or even attempting to fix or replicate it.”

                   “May I see the story?” Helel looks. “What else do we have to do?” She points out after Harahel hesitates.

                   “Oh, okay.”

 

                  “Michael.” Michael turns to the tardy angel, who has been away from his post for too long.  He’s ready to take him to task, when he sees Raphael’s broken lip, frost-bitten wrists and wings encased in ice that he can’t put back behind the veil. “Where’s Helel?” He steps away from the entrance to purgatory.

                   “Purgatory. Helel went to rescue Harahel because Dad forbid he let anyone else be the hero.”

                    “Stop.” Michael’s voice grows very quiet and very low which is not a good thing under any circumstances at least not with that tone. “So you had decided to go into purgatory after that rebellious little angel.” she starts. “Who is, in all likelihood dead  and has been since shortly after arriving.”

                    “No. He’s…” Rapahel starts but Michael holds out his hand to silence him.

                    “And somehow Helel found out and forcibly stopped you from doing something insanely recklessly suicidally foolish, and then went to save Harahel from the results of his own insanely reckless, suicidally foolish act. Is that what you are telling me right now?” The ice melts off Raphael’s wings letting them slip back into the ether again.

                     “Yes.”  

                    “And you still think Helel doesn’t care for you,” Of course Michael would say something like that. As if she doesn’t realize the extent to which Helel will go for the sake of bolstering his own ego. “ Or for Harahel, who is almost certainly dead.”

                     “Harahel is not dead. Sar… Azreal promised to tell me when Harahel died and she hasn’t yet. So Harahel is still alive.” Almost predictably, Michael’s eyes twitch at the mention of Azrael’s name. Michael takes a breath and lets it out slowly, eyes closed. When she’s through she turns to the back door to purgatory and seals it together, irrevokably.

                      “What are you doing?” Raphael exclaims. “How will they get out? How will Ben get out if he dies? That’s the entire reason we were leaving it open. We were trying to find a temporary seal for this.”

                      “Well, then perhaps the three of you should have thought of that before trying to enter purgatory again for whatever reason you had. “Michael snaps. “I will get them out. Stay on heaven and earth, Raphael and take care of our families.” She touches her little brother’s cheek, healing the injuries he hadn’t bothered to fix himself. Michael knows damn well, Raphael just left them for proof of what happened. Michael would be annoyed at this, but the truth is that she never believed Raphael about how Helel treated him. And she should have. “Hopefully this won’t take me too long.”

                      “No!” Raphael grabs onto Michael’s wrist. “You’re not going in there alone. What if they’re hurt? You can’t fight and heal at the same time. That’s the whole reason I was created. I could grab Harahel and sprint out of there, but I can’t get them both i they’re both hurt. That’s why I decided to come to you. And the only other door is one way!”

                      “This was not the only way to leave purgatory.” Michael says gently. “This is too dangerous, and we no longer have the advantage. The nephilim are there, there monsters are there, the leviathan, all three of them combined is too much. If you are with me, I have to hold back. Only Helel is strong enough to withstand the full force of my heat.”

                    “And what about Harahel? You’ll have to hold back for him. And if I’m there then I can heal Helel and protect Harahel and heal the both of you at the same time. The two of you can defend us as we leave. You know it’s better that way.” Raphael points out.

                    “No, I don’t want you at risk again. I know you don’t believe or care that Helel and I love you but we do. Someone needs to stay behind and take care of heaven  and earth and keep hell in line and also take care of Gabriel.” Michael reminds him of his graceless human wife. As if Raphael isn’t thinking about her already.

                     “So you both express your love and concern for me by taking away my free will and refusing to let me make my own decisions is that it? Well to hell with both of you. The only way you’re going to stop me is by injuring me worse than the Levi ever could, because that is the only way I would not devote my entire waking moment to going in after you.” Raphael, stubborn as always, stiffens himself. “So go ahead, imprison me, torture me, tell me it’s for my own good. I don’t care. But I do not agree to stay behind and will not submit to your authority because raw violence is the only real authority you have left. I will not… submit to that again.”

                      “Very well.” Michael swallows her desire to chastize him for the assumption that his older sibling would do such a thing. Helel did, mercilessly, and Michael didn’t notice, and quite frankly would never have believed his younger sibling capable of it, even to Raphael. “But if anything happens to you I reserve the right to say that I told you so, until the end of time and I want you to put some effort into reconciling with your brother, as I will be with Gabriel. Do you understand?”

                        “I understand every single word.” Is Raphael cool rather unsatisfactory reply.

                       “And you follow my instructions when we are in there. No arguments, if I tell you to do or not do something, then you obey me, without question, preferably without hesitation. This is going to be a combat situation. And I need to know you can and will follow orders.”Michael insists. “Can you do this? Can you trust me enough to follow my orders again?”

                        “I can trust your desire to save Helel, and I can acknowledge your expertise in these matters is far greater than my own.” Raphael forces himself to reply honestly. “Unless your orders involve abandoning or sacrificing the librarian. I will follow them to the letter. That’ll have to be good enough.”

                         “It is.” Michael gives a brief, half-hearted smile and puts a hand on his little brother’s shoulder, at the nape of his neck with that gentle squeeze that used to be so familiar.

                       “Let’s get this over with.” Raphael replies and takes off. It’ll be worth it to be there if only to watch Michael explain that he resealed the backdoor to purgatory to Helel. Especially after they agreed to work on finding a way to make it lockable if Ben dies, they can’t leave him in there. “How will we find them?” Raphael asks as they head towards the bermuda triangle. “Wait.” He pauses and looks down at the ocean to a small bobbing ice burg. “Oh for the love of all that is.” Raphael covers his eyes as Michael joins him.

                          “Is that...” Michael peers into the ice.

                          “He can’t put it away somewhere. No. He has to just discard it on the floor. Probably expecting us to clean up after him. Can you melt the ice? I don’t want to accidentally break his vessel in half.” Raphael crosses his arms and waits, Helel will need his body back. There was no point in taking it off except for doing this the most dramatic way possible. 

                    “We’re going to have to take this with us.” Michael shakes his head, handing it to Raphael before going back to turn the sheild off. His brother just glances at it. It’s a frozen wreck so of course he has to fix it, but not yet. He doesn’t need Helel’s Helel’s soulless body coming to life and wandering around now that his minds imprinted all over it. Of course, that thought makes him glad that Gabriel’s without her grace, because she would absolutely do that just to see what would happen.

                     Some of her jokes and pranks, he actually misses. Some of her experiments, all the ‘what if’s she’d ask. The times she pranked on the side of justice though it wasn’t for that reason. The guilty party just pissed her off personally. Or they reminded her of Michael. Why is he waiting for them to reconcile. It’s never going to happen and he has no right to push forgiveness from her anymore than Michael has a right to demand that he forgive Helel. Neither of their elder siblings truly understand what they did wrong, and think that the burden is on the ones they armed to forgive them once the apology is given. But Raphael’s responsible for making things right between himself and Michael. Gabriel is responsible for making things right with Helel.  Michael has the responsibility to fix things with Gabriel, and demanding that The two of them reconcile places the same undue burden to forgive that Michael is placing on him to forgive Helel. Everyone is looking at this all wrong. Demanding forgiveness in exchange for being forgiven. Or refusing to forgive unless they do. It’s unfair to everyone. Especially those still hurting. And they all are.

                      “Michael,” Raphael speaks as Michael finishes melting the small ice burg. “I’ll accept your forgiveness, and will try to deserve it.  But you need to accept that I am responsible for my actions. But any place you have in my life after this mission is dependant on my wife and her feelings because you have hurt her in ways you aren’t even aware of. And beyond that Gabriel is my wife, and I love her and she is first and foremost the most important thing in my life.  But I am sorry for what I did and I do love you and I do wish we could be as close as we once were. Before the mark, before everything. Maybe we can’t be, but I do want that. I want you to love all of us again the way you used to.”

                     “I want that, too.” Michael returns and embraces him from behind, not letting Helel’s body get in the way.. “Maybe I shouldn’t blame Gabriel, maybe I should at least partly blame myself for the actions you felt you had to take, but I just… you were my baby. Loyal, honest, hard working, kind and losing that hurt more than you can know. I never hated you and I never blamed you because I couldn’t bear think that you did anything you did because you wanted to.”

                      “I never wanted to hurt you, Michael. I never wanted it. I just couldn’t let you do that to her. You don’t understand how torturous that would have been.”

                     “Yes, I did. I felt I had to.” Michael lets go. “Let’s go, the matter screen is gone. I’ll protect you while we search for Helel and the librarian.”

                      “As I asked before,” Raphael starts, following Michael through, “How are we going to…. oh.” Raphael just stares at the frozen ocean before beside and behind him. His brother’s light is making a faint glow, shining brighter in the distance. He can see clearly the black swirls of frozen Leviathan. What’s more he can even feel their distress. That absolute fucking drama queen. Well, at least Helel’s flair for the dramatic is actually going to make things easier this time. That’s a miracle in and of itself.


	51. Mentor One or Mentor Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our Raphael reaches out to Ben  
> Legion makes an offer as well

                  “Ben?” Raphael sits down next to the troubled looking young man. “Is everything alright?”

                  “Your daughter has a date tomorrow.” He says with the tone of one betraying a confidence.

                  ‘Yes, I know. She asked my advice on it. She also expressed some concern regarding you and your behavior.  Disappearing like you did, not being your usual considerate self. I for one am curious as to why in the past day you seem to have aged several months.” Raphael hands him a blueberry muffin, as it seems to be his favorite.

                  “I needed to have some time alone to think. Where is none of your business. I wasn’t hurting anyone, breaking any laws or causing any problems. I simply found a safe place to practice my abilities and test my limits. “ Ben replies coolly, in a way  far too familiar for Raphael to accept that as a complete non-deceptive answer as Ben clearly wants him to.

                 “Show me. I want to make sure it’s safe and adequately protected.” Raphael motions him to get up. Ben pauses, the muffin in his mouth. “I only insist because it’s my responsibility to make sure you’re safe and healthy in this realm, and adequately protected from all potential harm mental and emotional as well.” The expression in Ben’s eyes at this is also very familiar in a way that Raphael knows would be entirely unhelpful for him to point out. “That is just as important. And you do have a mind and think and feel things.” Raphael reminds him, getting a roll of the eyes.

                  “When?” Ben asks, his mouth full.

                  “Now. I doubt it will take us long.” There’s not really any way to effectively refuse this or put it off. Sure Ben could just refuse to do it but Abigail’s father has been nothing but wonderful to him and he doesn’t want to risk that. His Uncle Raphael never interfered in his life except for the occasional healing or having to be there to chaperone Auntie Bree. Maybe he can warn Legion on the way down, but how? Legion would probably notice an approaching archangel. He doesn’t seem to be there when they land,which is good. If Raphael noticed him, he’d have made some mention of it or something, right?

                 “Did you make all this?” Raphael looks at the lush area, astonished at the blend of marble architecture and decorations. The wilting vines perk up at Ben’s presence and flowers bloom. The crowd is covered in lush thick moss with patches of snow drops near the walls and around the base of the furniture.

                  “You like snow drops?” Raphael smile feeling oddly happy at this.

                 “Yes, it brings fond memories of visiting my mother’s grave. It was always covered with snowdrops. I miss those days.” Comes the cold reply. Knowing better than to try and talk to the son of Helel out of his rage, Raphael just puts a hand on his shoulder. Still more hurt than rage, and hurt. Raphael just puts a hand on his shoulder. Stillmore hurt than rage, but it’s come closer. “You’re not going to tell me to show a little more respect or something like that?”

                 “Why would I?” Raphael raises an eyebrow. ‘Your mother has behave terribly. You have every right to be upset and angry. I understand how you feel. I once loved and adored our Helel, until he taught me not to. These snowdrops are reminiscent of the time I gave up on loving him, this was before he took the mark even before Gabriel when father was showing us a few previews of things he had in mind to create to make the garden a little less boring. Helel always called me a worthless brat and I tried to prove I wasn’t. This was my last attempt and the last time I made anything on my own for a long time. It wasn’t really even on my own.  Helel was trying to make something, but he’s not good at it and I could see where he was going wrong and I thought finally I could do something. Help him, prove I was worth something. I did it and he just looked at me, got up and crushed it under his heel.”

                 “Why do you love her now, then, if she was so horrible to you?” Ben accuses, crossing his arms.

                  “I don’t know, it’s complicated, but he changed. And before he did he was trying to change but struggling with himself and he couldn’t. He just kept falling back into the same old destructive defensive patterns. He had died fighting the darkness, when it was released. I was so happy I got to have an actual relationship with my siblings and started to get back to who I used to be. When they brought him back I was so angry and resentful and just wished he was back in the abyss again. I was sure he was just going to break everyone’s heart all over again. It had taken so long for them to recover from the first time.

                  “I didn’t want to be what I had become fighting him the first time. I didn’t want them to hurt or die or suffer the way they had. Michael was slowly becoming happy again, finding himself again thanks in no small part to my Alex. Gabriel was happy and responsible and had grown so much. She saved the both of us and should have stopped there, but even though he killed her, she insisted on trying to save our brother too.

                   “It wasn’t working. I knew it wasn’t working. And then Gabriel got pregnant due to a stress induced carelessness. Michael decided to be human for a bit, Father only knows why, and died protecting Helel. And it was left to me to take care of him, to try and help him the way they were trying to and I wanted to just kill him because I hated him. Because I couldn’t see him ever being anything but the irredeemable creature he was. And everyone would have understood except Gabriel and Michael. Everyone. But that was enough I suppose.  I just couldn’t do it.

                  “So I decided to try, to go into his mind, break down the walls and barriers and make him face the truth of who he is, what he’d done. It was all based on this theoretical experimental research on malignant narcissism that Alex found. And it wasn’t easy. We fought and fought and I almost died in the process of forcing him to see the truth of himself. But it ended up working. I wasn’t sure it did. He is, after all the most manipulative deceitful thing in existence. But it was. He showed it was true. By the things he’s done and not done. He even had his grace back briefly and gave it up again. He didn’t want to and who knows if we could have made him, but he did. He’s not the person he was. Though he’s still unfortunately very much himself. Just a slightly better version.”

                 “Oh, well, given my mother is considered perfection already…” Ben sarcasm echos through the room.

                 “Tell me about it. For six whole days all of heaven considered him the ultimate of our father’s creations, except for me.” Raphael sighs. “I doubt she’s had to confront her own flaws to quite the same degree but don’t let your anger change you into something bitter and cold or unkind. Don’t let it wharp you the way I let it wharp me. The was it wharped Michael and Gabriel. He deserves your anger, but the thing is, you deserve better. Be angry but don’t reject every good thing Helel has to offer. The existence of his flaws don’t negate the existence of his virtues, and it doesn’t mean they aren’t virtues.”

                   “I don’t need to hear any fucking more about my mother’s virtues.”

                   “They’re not Helel’s virtues. They exist independent of him. Don’t reject goodness and it’s tools of them just because of who else uses them.” Raphael clarifies.

                    “You think I would?” Ben looks a little hurt and stops himself from kicking a snow drop, kicking a low hanging honeysuckle instead.

                   “I don’t know. You might now, but you might.  Often times you can’t see it coming. All I know is what I did.” Raphael sits down on the bench.

                   “You… rejected one of your Helel’s virtues?” Ben looks skeptical.

                  “I did. Mostly his persuasive ability. That piece of him that let’s him look deep into someone and hear their song and use that to persuade them to change their minds and actions, leading them in the direction he wanted them to go with charm and eloquence alone. I rejected it, completely and utterly. Even to the point that when I was desperate to keep my younger siblings with us during the civil war, I resorted to torturing them. Persuading them through physical means. I did it to save their lives and keep them from being killed, but it could have been done another way. With kindness, compassion and understanding, and communications. Not just by talking but by listening. Making sure we gave all our siblings that in the first place could have prevented so many defections, but I never considered it an option because that was what he did.”

                “Well, of course you’d reject everything she is. She was actually evil here. Who wouldn’t understand that.” Ben says a little defensively.

                “Everyone understood. But an understandable feeling led to inexcusable actions. And I wasn’t aware of the options I eliminated for myself and my siblings and how that became something just as bad or worse than what I was trying to avoid. I almost didn’t let Alex treat Michael, Because what is therapy but changing someone through talking and listening. I didn’t trust it. I didn’t trust her and when it worked, I resented her a little for being able to do what I couldn’t for the one I loved the most. My brother and I have an irritating amount in common, it seems. “Raphael sighs. “And not the good things.”

                  “So what you’re saying is that you’re both terrible people and you love each other because he finally found a use for you.” Ben snaps, feeling incredibly uncomfortable at Raphael’s statements. Raphael just looks at him, a steady look that makes it clear that he knows damn well Ben is just being bitchy. He’s not even annoyed. “I’m sorry.” Ben apologizes anyways from the sheer regret of having said something like that.

                  “I think you are a wonderful young man, Ben, and you have such great promise. I’m glad you and my daughter and friend. She needs someone sane in her life her own age. I won’t forbid you from coming here. but I will be putting up wards to make sure demons can’t bother you. If one gets stuck in the wards, call me and I’ll take care of them. Do not interact with them.” This statement sounds much more firm than anything else he said. 

                  “Aren’t demon’s just souls used and tormented and corrupted by your Helel?” Ben asks quietly.

                  “They are, but that doesn’t make them less dangerous to you, mentally or physically. You are at heart a kind and compassionate person, no matter how hurt or angry you may be. They’ll use that against you. They should all be locked in the interior, they can’t get past Michael’s holy flames, but at least. But I prefer to be on the safe side. Please don’t stay down here too long. Abigail would be disappointed if you ended up outgrowing her.” Raphael snaps up a plate of fruit and cheese and pastries. “I would prefer it if you came home after these trays are finished, if not sooner. Do you need anything else?”

               “No, I’m just practicing making things. Not living things really, just snowdrops and honey suckle. For some reason I can just… make those. I’m not sure why.”

               “Would you like someone to help teach you to create things?” 

               “I think I’m alright for now.” Ben shrugs uncomfortably.

               “Alright then. I’ll see you tonight.” Raphael pats his shoulder again.

               “I’ll be back by the time Abigail is done with school. I’m walking her home.” Ben promises. “And I do have to go talk to Shelly first.”

               “I’m glad to see the two of you getting along. I’m very glad Michelle had come to her senses.” Raphael nods and looks up. “If you’ll excuse me, I think someone’s calling for me. I will be stopping in on occasion, but I will warn you first.” Raphael disappears. Very considerate, though Ben’s not sure what he’s referring to. If he knew about Legion, there’s no way he’d just leave it at that.

               “BenHarahel.” He hears them call from the edge of his construct.

               “I’m coming.” He walks over and steps over a demon trap to get to the other side. “Are you alright?” Ben embraces his demons m, wrapping his feathers abound them.

                “Yes, now that you’re here. I couldn’t help but hear the conversation.” Legion blissfully rubs his cheek against the snowy feathers.

                “Abigail’s father is kind of a good guy.” Ben admits.

                “Really? Didn’t he confess to torturing his younger siblings for wanting to leave heaven?”

                “Yes.” Ben says quietly. “But people can redeem themselves from their mistakes. And this Raphael is a kind and nurturing angel. My father was saved so…” Ben just gives an uncomfortable shrug. He doesn’t like thinking about his father’s past too much.

                “Are they? Or are they both just under Lucifer’s thrall?” The question makes  Ben feel uncomfortable. Can you really just stop hating someone? Can someone pure evil really change? Aunt Bree wasn’t as bad as this version of his mother, and she isn’t good or even trying to be good. Yes, she behaves herself around Ben, but her free time seems to be spent causing the most amount of chaos she can while getting in the least amount of trouble for it. She loves him, but at best, she’s chaotic neutral. with a mean streak. How could this version of his mother who was so much worse than his Aunt be so much more reformed? Or reformed at all. Maybe he’s just so perfectly manipulative that he managed to convince them he is.

                Certainly nothing Legion has said about Lucifer indicates someone even capable of remorse. This Lucifer took a hundred and fourty four thousand souls and bound them together and tortured them collectively and worse singly until it was almost unbearable for them to separate for any length of time. What’s worse, he made Legion so utterly addicted and dependant on him that even Lucifer’s absence left him a helpless desperate wreck. It’s not even the worst thing he’d done either.

               Is it possible that his mother did something like that to his father? He never disagrees with her, never questions her, always does what she says to do. They don’t even fight. And this is especially true in regards to Ben himself. But in his mother’s absence his father just… kept his distance sometimes literally.  Maybe if he’d been deprived of Ben’s mother for as long as Legion had, Ben would have been good enough of a replacement.

              “I don’t know.” Ben says finally. “I don’t think I know anything about anything, really. But no one bad could have raised someone like Abigail.” The fondness with which he usually speaks about her is tainted with a little bitterness.

               “Is something wrong?”

               “She’s going on a date. With some… dull little human boy who’s not even part of the life.” Ben crosses his arms.

               “How old is he?”

               “Fifteen. She’s thirteen. What if he tries something? Well, she’d probably throw him across the room if she didn’t want him to.” Ben can’t help but smile fondly at this. “But what if she does want him to?” The truly terrifying thought

               “Well, he’ll be a fumbling idiot who doesn’t know what he’s doing, and it’s doubtful anything much will happen.” Legion says matter of factly. “It’s only an issue if she really really likes him. Boys these days don’t know what they’re doing. Back in our days, when a boy became a man, they had an older more experienced woman take him in hand and teach him how to use his body. It was considered an important part of his education. Now a days, they’re all just left hanging in the wind.”

               “Well, it’s something you can learn together with someone who loves and cares about you as much as you do them. Isn’t it?” Ben suddenly doesn’t feel as confident in what Harahel had told him on the subject. After all Harahel had never done it, or wanted to. What would he know? Besides the thought of himself being a fumbling idiot with anyone is almost horrifying. 

              “It can be. Possibly.” But many of us had them. Many of us were them. A lot of normal natural innocent things were vilified and twisted into something shameful when it’s not. That was one of Lucifer’s favorite tricks, to convince good people that something normal and acceptable was wrong and sinful. Then he could lead them to do atrocious acts in the name of wiping out this ‘evil’, encourage their worst nature to grow and corrupt them in the name of doing good. And sex, there’s nothing inherently sinful about sex.” Legion straightens up. That kind of makes sense, Harahel had said that there’s alot of shame attached to things that aren’t inherently shameful. That instead of forbidding everything outright, people just need to be educated about their options and risks and consequences of their actions good and bad. So they can make an educated choice.

             “I guess that’s true enough.” Ben considers.

             “Don’t worry about this human boy. He’s nothing compared to you and she should be smart enough to know it. If not, she’s not worthy of you in the first place. What you should concern yourself with is getting yourself properly educated, so that when the time comes you can be the teacher and introduce your lover to a world of ecstacy no one could ever hope to surpass. Every man likes to think of himself as a love god. You could actually be one.”

             “I don’t…” Ben falters, his cheeks bright red at the thought. “That… that doesn’t really sound appropriate. “He backs away folding his wings around himself to shield his discomfort. “Like you said anyways, nobody does that anymore.” He shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t even really know how to kiss yet, so… if you could just.. not…”

             “Whatever you wish for, Ben Harahel, you know I am at your service,” Legion seems to solidify into a beautiful young woman as he speaks and bow deeply before Ben who just flees and returns back to earth to take a cold shower. He’s definitely not going to talk to his sister in this state. She would never let it go until he spilled everything. And probably not even then.


	52. Where The Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Raphael retrieve their siblings from purgatory. Mule is faced with another impossible situation.

        It’s fairly easy to get down to where Helel and Harahel are. Michael melts a tunnel, Raphael saturates the melted water with borate so none of the of the leviathan that aren’t trapped in the ice can dive in and assault them.  Helel’s light is surprisingly weak and doesn’t seem to get brighter as they approach, as it usually does. There are maybe a few bright patches but that could just be a reflection of the ice. They weren’t even sure they were here, honestly, and almost passed on, but they heard Harahel telling stories about little Ben. Things like his first experiment with scissors and subsequently his first buzz cut that left him crying his eyes out. Harahel apparently left his hair that way for all of a day. before he gave in and made Ben’s hair grow just long enough to cover his head so he wouldn’t be ‘balded’. 

         Harahel is still talking when they break into the little bubble where Helel’s keeping his arms folded around the weak plucked little angel. She doesn’t respond to it more than an occasional light chuckle and smile. The corruption to frozen into the surface of her being covers almost all of her in frozen darkness. The angel is almost like a statue, and doesn’t seem to be aware of anything but Harahel’s voice.

        “Helel.” Michael reaches down to touch her, but she doesn’t respond. Even when Michael touches her she doesn’t thaw at all. “Raphael. Take Harahel. I’ll take Helel. Stay near me and when I tell you to fly as fast as you can. Michael tries to eases Harahel from Helel’s arm. “It’s alright, paseh. We have you both. Raphael will take care of you while I take care of Helel.” Helel’s grip on the librarian loosens, allowing Michael to give him to Raphael and take Helel himself.

         “Where are we going?” Raphael asks as they head to the surface of the water.

         “We’re passing through the fairy realm. We can get through quickly and without being noticed one time which is why we came in the way we did. Since there’s only four of us, we’ll make it.” Michael heads towards a large quarry with a river flowing down to the ocean shore. “So you hear that?” He points to the dissonance. Raphael nods. “We go straight through. We enter by one mountain and leave by the one directly across from us. We’ll make it in less than a minute if we don’t stop. It’ll let us out halfway between the abyss and heaven. Don’t wait for me.  Just go directly to heaven and get Ariel to take care of Harahel and prepare Helel’s room.” Michael orders. “Do not stop. Do not pause for anything. It isn’t real.” Michael orders firmly.

            Raphael nods and holds the exhausted angel firmly to him. The dissonant shimmer high above the quarry gets longer and longer. He’s not sure why the being here don’t escape that way, at least the winged ones. He can hear the sound of approaching winged beings, and looks to see a least a legion of nephilim coming their way. None of them recognize him without a vessel, but they do seem to recognize Michael. She is hard to mistake for anyone or anything else. Especially her blade.

             “Now, Raphael.” Michael commands so Raphael gives everything he can, sprinting through the shimmer only to come out at a mountain peak under a dark starless sky with a great silvery mist beneath him covering everything. Lights sparkle in the greyness as if the fog snatched them from the sky. He can see the other mountain and a hint of the dissonance in the distance. Just keep going as fast as he can. Harahel’s the one who’s vulnerable, not him, and certainly not Michael, so he just has to keep going. He has to ignore the rustling shadows, and the laughter…. the laughter…..

             “Bree?” He stops as he hears his wife’s laughter echoing below him. Not her human laughter, but he merry tinkling of bells of her true voice. He halts and looks towards where it came from only to see a golden wing vanish into the mist. It can’t be real. It can’t be her. She doesn’t have her grace. But it sang her song as open and pure as he’s ever heard it.

              “Raphi-i-i-i.” The bells call to him with amused frustration. “What are you doing? Come play with me.” He can almost see her in the mist, young, pure, untainted by darkness, happy, innocent even, waving to him to join her. It’s a Gabriel he never appreciated when he had her. He never thought he’d see her that way again. A tear starts to form in his eye that’s interrupted by Harahel’s cry. 

               “Ben?” Hara gathers his strength and tries to get away from Raphael. He’s looking in the exact same direction. It’s an illusion that’s all. But how can they create something so real, so perfect without having seen or being aware of what they’re imitating? What if they have something..What if it is her. What if it’s both of them. Does he really want to abandon them here?  A hand grabs the back of his tunic as he starts to drift down towards the lights with a brightness that scatters everything below them.

               “You of all angels should know an illusion when you see it.” Are Michael reproachful words as he drags his little brother towards the other mountain, and pushes him through into the vast emptiness of space. Part of him still wants to go back.

               “I’m sorry.” Raphael tries to curb the feeling, holding tightly to Harahel who’s too exhausted to struggle more. In truth the state of Harahel’s wings kept him from just letting the angel go so he could go after his wife. He can still almost hear her asking him to come to her.

               “It’s alright, “Michael sighs, letting go. “Go on. We’ll catch up.” He gives Raphael a little nudge. Not wanting to disappoint him again, Raphael takes off as quickly as he can leaving his elder siblings behind.

                “Ben.. we can’t leave Ben behind.” Harahel finally manages as he returns back to lucidity. 

                 “No,” Raphael responds quietly. “It was an illusion.”

                 “Are you sure?”

                 “Would I have left him behind if there was a chance it wasn’t.” Surprisingly Harahel accepts this answer.

                 “Oh,” Harahel sighs as he relaxes again.  Heaven’s gate slowly draw near. You’d think it wouldn’t be this hard anymore. The first thing he did upon re-entering heaven was destroy that room. Helel’s not there and won’t be shortly. Ariel will be there soon to talk care of Harahel. And… And Michael expects him to take care of Helel. Raphael almost drops the angel in his arms at this realization. It shouldn’t be shocking or surprising. Helel is hurt fairly badly. Raphael’s the ultimate healer, he was created for this. And they believe he let Helel die on purpose. All of them do.

                He let them believe it, partly for pride. He can’t deny that it’s less humiliating than the truth that he failed, that Helel’s final moment in the world just proved that Raphael was as useless and worthless as Helel always said he was. But mostly he was thinking about Ben. It was what he reminded himself every time he felt like telling the truth and just ending the hatred sent his way.  That someone would have to be blamed for Helel’s death, some would blame Raphael no matter what. But those who didn’t would blame Ben or Sam or resent them both. Some still might, but Raphael would be a much better, much more fitting target. He hated Helel after all, was tortured and abused by him, betrayed, rejected, humiliated by them, even now he repeatedly deprives him of his own autonomy still in the name of doing good, or even for his own good.It would be easier for everyone if he was to blame, really truly to blame.

                    He owed Sam that much. He left Gabriel use and torture the man, ruin his life for years. It wasn’t personal, it was nothing personal. It was nothing new either. It was a sacrifice, one of many. When Gabriel focused on one person to play with and torment, it was always a relief. Because it was limited damage. She wasn’t going left and right targeting any and every one as much as she can even going on the scale of mass civilization. Sometimes she’d start plagues, sometimes accidentally sometimes on purpose, sometime accidentally on purpose. When she first did that, he would race to try and find and stop it before it killed too many. 

                   The first time it brought Michael down to try and bring him back, by force if necessary. Raphael barely got away. The second time, he had to be more careful and use others to stop it when she tried to keep it going. After the seventh time in the same year he had to stop.  It was a game to her and if he kept playing she’d keep playing until she got bored and he couldn’t take the suffering anymore. So he forced himself to leave.  Just take himself so far away he couldn’t hear all the voices crying out for him. He let them die and she stopped. And when she tried again after a thousand years, he took himself away again, and she got bored and tried something else. And so he had to disengage and push her towards things that were less destructive. And not fight her all the time. He just had to wait until afterwards to help them pick up the pieces, when he can. It’s always been a struggle and a quest for balance, but none of it was as hard as having to be around Helel again. 

                 Each moment they had to pretend they didn’t hate each other in the hopes that Raphael himself might believe it. Ignoring what happened the last time they were alone in a room together. That now it was Helel who was powerfless and completely at his brother’s mercy.  In the end it was weeks of having to stay by Helel’s side and just repress and deny and force himself to focus on Ben at the same time. And then failure and a choice. And Michael wants him to do it again. To push everything aside again after more lies, more betrayal for Helel and Helel’s sake alone. It feels  as if his entire being is nothing but an open wound and he’s being asked to dive into heated sand.

                Raphael places Harahel down in the new garden and pours his strength into healing the small angel before him bringing back both of his beautiful plucked mother of pearl feathers and the soft gentle glow of his faded grace. It doesn’t take much, barely a drop.  

                 “Where’s Helel?” Is of the course the knife innocently driven into him by the restored angel.

                  “His room, most likely.” Raphael replies, and removes his hand from Hara’s head. “Take care of yourself. I’ll be looking in on you, so don’t do anything rash again or I won’t be healing you so quickly.”

                   “Yes, sir. If you’re going to help Helel, I’ll go with you. if you think I won’t get in the way.” Raphael just looks at him for a long torturous moment before he just flits away without a word, and not towards the archangel quarters.

 

                   Mule sits on the back porch looking at the old playset in the backyard. He set it up when they were expecting Ben. And the playhouse. And the sandbox and the little wooden pedal car. Of course, that was after the crib and the child proofing and the containment symbols carved into the removeable moulding on the nursery, walls, fences, and main rooms that he was going to be allowed in when Helel was in heaven for work. Then there’s the shed, where he put the rocking horse, the tiny seesaw and merry go round all with protective charms. the little tool kit and his baby toys and the crib Mule made. Everything done by hand while Helel watched and made suggestions some helpful, some not.

                   He remembers when she decided that she was no longer self identify as Masculine. It was when Ben first kicked trying to stretch out inside her womb. She was so enraptured by it that she declared that she was a mother now and nothing would ever be more important than that. She never wanted to be anything else, so she was woman and female for all eternity from that point on. Her usual dramatic self, but heartfelt. She sent Harahel to heaven for every parenting book she could find with the most up to date physical and psychological research on everything. Helel even taught herself to cook, well, really assemble trays of food;  fruits, vegetables, nuts, cheese, and organic whole grain multi grain non gmo pesticide free bread. They even had a beehive on the far end of the yard, surrounded by gloves and a couple orange trees. She insisted on goats before trying to milk one and subsequently banning them from the property. 

                  Everything was all perfect and set up and she had every confidence she was going to be coming home with Ben. Maybe false confidence, but what good would making her focus on the possibility of death. It was life that she would need to prepare for. Death, for angels, was just… nothing. She was so convinced. He even convinced himself towards the end. Told himself to have faith. He didn’t think about it, as hard as he could, he didn’t think about ti and they never talked about it. So he was all set to just follow her lead and then suddenly she was gone, leaving him alone with no one to follow.

                  “It’s not an excuse. It’s not as if his entire career in the marine’s consisted of being one of the grunts. He lead at least as much as he followed. He had no excuse for stepping back when it came to raising his son. Maybe if he’d been a better parent, things wouldn’t have gotten to this point with Ben and Helel and Harahel. Or between the two of them. Either of them. And now, yet again, he has no idea what to do about the situation. He feels helpless. Usually when he feels that way he just takes a step back and goes out to confront a problem he knows what to do about. Hunting, but he can’t now. He just has to be here and wait for one or both of them to come back or contact him.

                  Mule looks down at the mirror in his hands. Maybe he should contact Ben. Talk to him, though what could he say? Maybe he could just listen. That’s usually how their best conversations go. Just listening to Ben and only answering questions he asks. Why is it so hard to talk to his own son? Is this how his mother felt raising him? Maybe he should call her.

                    A bright flash in the house behind him breaks Mule out of his thoughts and as it fades, he gets up and goes to see what he assumes is his wife. He can hear Michael upstairs speaking softly in enochian to another angel.  One he’s not familiar with. They’re in his room. Michael’s gently covering Helel with a blanket, Is she sleeping? No. She doesn’t sleep, not with her grace in. Was that… was that light her grace going out again? Did Michael.. no. Mule shakes the thoughts from his head.

                    “Samuel.” Michael greets him gravely. 

                    “What’s happened? What’s wrong with Helel?” Mule asks, looking at his wife as the other angel gently soothes her vessel into a deep slumber.

                    “The mother of all Leviathan attacked as she was rescuing Harahel from purgatory. She’s very badly injured. This is Ariel. Heaven’s best healer.”

                    “Second best.” Ariel frowns, and puts a hand on Helel’s cheek. “I can’t get past her defenses.” Mule slowly walks over to his wife’s side and reaches out to touch her hand, let him know he’s there. It’s ice cold. Usually when she’s this cold, the entire room is like a walk in freezer, or worse.

                     “Will she be alright?” Mule asks, feeling fairly sure the answer won’t be good.

                     “Yes. The question is just how long it will take for her to be alright. The last time we fought the leviathan, herding them into purgatory, she was injured. We all were. But she refused to let Raphael help her, and father simply said that she had to let him do his job or go without. It took a very long time I’m not sure how long, years were different then, before she was up and moving again. This seems to be worse. I was able to keep the mother at bay before. And the children  gave fairly minor wounds, there were just a lot of them. She kept saving all the little ones that got too close, diving in, tossing them to Gabriel who took them to Ariel in heaven. Helel has always tried too hard to live up to his name.” Michael sighs. “I’m going to go look for Raphael. Ariel, do what you can, if anything.”

                  “Don’t..” Mule reaches out a hand to the angel.

                  “Don’t? You mean, don’t find Raphael?” Michael’s tone makes Ariel wince slightly.

                  “Don’t find Raphael.” Mule confirms ignoring it.

                  “You don’t want him near her after Ben’s birth, I understand, but… remember, he helped to bring her back. They’re actually speaking to each other again. It’s not pleasant conversation but it is conversation. Raphael… he’s good. He’s a good angel. If I can just talk to him, he’ll remember that.” Michael reassures Mule who just gives a bitter smile.

                   “That’s not what I mean.” he take a breath. “He knows that Helel is hurt already, I assume, and that you want him to come help.” Michael’s annoyed silence gives way to a nod. “So he’s reluctant, for many reason to come do it. And most of them are likely because of what she’s done to him.”

                   “That was a long time ago. He’s moved past that.” Michael waves the suggestion away.

                   “No. You don’t just move past that. You don’t just get over something like that, Michael. You can shove it away, pretend it’s not there, but it is and it won’t stay hidden all the time, even if you really want it to.  I know how hard it is for me to be around Gabriel with everything that passed between us. And how she hurt me was nothing compared to what Raphael had gone through with Helel. There’s not kiss and make up option available here. He has pulled himself together time after time to do what’s right even for Helel and if he can’t do it just yet, then we are going to give him the time he needs to pull himself together, if he can.” Mule does his best to try and warm up Helel’s hand, but his own just gets more and more numb,  his fingers becoming red with white tips.

                  “I’m surprise you would take this stance.” Michael reply is not freindly. “You shouldn’t stay in this room after I leave.” With what sounds vaguely like a threat, Michael disappears. The temperature drops instantly into sub freezing temperatures so quickly that the windows shatter. It’s like a slap in the face.

                  “Go on.” Ariel touches his forehead, healing his hands and the shock clouding his mind and vision. “I won’t give up. But she’s not going to get worse, even if I can’t make her better. She was made to keep the darkness at bay.” Mule just nods, and walks out of the room until it’s warm enough to think. He’ll have to go into the storage unit, fish out that artic gear. The thought makes him laugh a little but by the time he reaches the car, all he can do is rest his head against the steering wheel and sit there refusing to cry. What is he going to tell Ben?”

 


	53. Siblings are a pain in the ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben turns to Shelly for advice, Sam, Alex and Luci find themselves physically altered, not all for the better.

     “We have a problem.” Shelly looks up as Ben appears before her. He just stops and stares at her. “What are you doing?”

     “I’m knitting.” Is the simple reply. “Or learning to. I’m having a baby. I need to make baby booties for my widdle baby boy and maybe a blankey and a little bear…” Shelly sings happily, ignoring the runs and pattern fails into stitched already done.

       “That.. is.. not important right now. We have a problem, a big problem.” Much to his relief Shelly looks at him with an appropriately grave expression.

       “I’ll go get the clippers.” She puts her yarn aside and starts to get to her feet.

       “What? Oh for a light in the darkness.” He grabs her wrist with both hands. “No!” I swear to all that is if you cut my hair I will grow it even longer.”

       “Fine, fine.” She plops back down shaking his hands away from her like a willow branch sticking to her sweater. “What’s so important now that you have to interrupt my motherly duties in the middle of the school day?”

        “Abigail has a date.” 

        “A what? How dare she?” Ben’s not quite sure if Shelly’s being sarcastic or not. “Do I know this boy? Or is it a girl? When are they going out? And why is she doing this without talking to me first? That poor sweet innocent thing. She doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into. Oh lolo, please tell me he’s mortal.” She pleads to the heavens.

         “I can tell you he is. Some little weak useless spineless little human things that’s in no way good enough for her. The only thing they even have in common is they’re both brown.” He snorts, turning away. Shelly raise an eyebrow at him. “And he’s way too old for her. “Ben turns back around. “He has no business dating a thirteen year old girl. And do you know why? It’s because he’s weak and pathetic and doesn’t think a younger woman will notice what an abject loser he is.” Ben fumes, cooling the air. 

          “Aw, my wittle Benny boy is jeawous.” she clasps her hands to her heart, looking very amused. Ben is very much not. “Is it JJ? She calls him Jamal. I’m not sure why, everyone one else calls him JJ. Either it’s a pet name or he actually hates being called JJ. Abigail’s really good about that.

           “Well, what are we going to do about this? Are we going to let some fifteen year old deviant prey on our helpless little Abigail?” Ben demands. This just makes Shelly break into outright laughter. “What?”

             “Yeah, no, Ben. JJ is nice and sweet, a little stupid, but he’s not a predator or some force we need to help protect her from, like the bukake brothers who thankfully aren’t coming back until next weekend. Though we should go and keep an eye on them.”

             “Because he’s such an innocent harmless thing?””

             “No, because there are spiders everywhere and Anansi wants his brothers and mother to be relatively happy and annoyed. Do not kill the spiders.” Shelly stretches. “Tell you what, we won’t sneak around about this because we need to keep your hands fairly clean. And to keep you in the running for future hubby.”

              “Wait.” Ben holds out his hand. “You want us to go to… protect JJ?”

              “Well yeah. He’s human, we’re angels, there’s a supernatural threat we don’t want Abigail to take care of because that’d just draw them closer together. Anyways she deserves a nice plain simple date with a normal sweet human boy like she’s always wanted.” Shelly points out, making too much sense for Ben’s liking.

              “So you don’t actually want Abigail and me together as a couple.”  It’s hard to tell if that’s a sudden actual concern or just Ben’s way of changing the subject.

              “Okay, look, you’re not going to like to hear this but there are three ways that the two of you will absolutely not end up together. First, by your becoming a selfish douche like you’re kind of starting to. You’re a good kind of sweet guy, but you’re getting a little bitter and self absorbed and angry. Grandpa only knows you have a right to be upset about all of this, but if you start taking it out on the people who didn’t do the thing you’re upset about, no. Abigail won’t put up with that and her sympathy will only extend so far and you’re my brother so i won’t injure you badly, but I am and forever will be on her side. She is Hell’s Queen and I am her Knight, forever and always her devoted caretaker. Do you understand?”

                “I do.” Ben crosses his arms, not caring about her opinion on how to treat people who haven’t done anything to you, the little hypocrite. “And the next two?”

                “Being the rebound guy and dating in high school. Oh and another one, being her ‘first love’. So for my next suggestion, I was thinking that you should get your feet wet.”

                “Not literally, right?” Ben has to ask, knowing better than to take anything hse says as common sense would dictate. 

                “No, unless you swing that way. But you’re a really inexperienced virgin so probably not. And I doubt your parents even let you know about the existence of hentai.” This time he knows she’s just screwing with him. Probably. Maybe. He’ll have to ask Legion. Maybe. He’s not really sure he wants to go back down there with them.  but Legion needs him, and he was just being… desperate to serve as usual? He’s not sure.“I’m sorry, did I make you uncomfortable.” Shelly teases patting his head even though he’s still not that much shorter than her. 

                 “No. Why are you giving me a hard time. I thought you weren’t going to be so.. I won’t say bitchy because that’s rude and mean just sounds so childish.” He sort of scolds her.

                  “Oh, my Benny-wenny.” She embraces him, resting her cheek against his head, “You’re my brother from another mother. We’re family, siblings. From what I’ve observed this is what we do; love, cherish, annoy, protect, and give each other shit all the damn time. Of course then there’s Auntie Miqa and Uncle Helel, but they are outliers and should not be counted. “Shelly reassures him as he tolerates her stroking his hair. “Are you okay though? Really okay? If you want to talk to your wise and loving big sister about anything important I promise that you can.”

              “Do you mean it?” Ben asks much to her surprise.

               “Well, yeah.” Shelly sits back down, a little surprised at the fact he might be taking her up on it. “What are big sisters for?” 

               “What… what’s it like? Having.. you know.. being intimate with someone.” Ben sits on the arm of the chair and starts tracing the lines on the fabric with his finger. 

               “Well, crap.” Shelly sighs, slumping down. “I don’t know. I don’t particularly care one way or the other. And Alice isn’t ready yet. So you’ll probably find out before I do. Figures you’d ask me the one thing I don’t know anything about.”

                “Well, What about demons then?” He shoves aside the question of how exactly she got pregnant without having sex.

                “Oh, okay.” Shelly straightens it up. “What about... hold on.” She bends over and picks up George. “What about them?”

              “What do you know about them. Tell me.. tell me about Crowley. Why did you like him so much? That you.. decided to do this.” Ben nods to her stomach.

              “Oh, well that’s a long story, can we go somewhere private? I don’t want to talk about him in the bunker.” Shelly says quietly.

               “Have anywhere in mind?”

                “Yeah,” She brightens suddenly. “Come on.” Shelly stands up, and takes his hand.  “So, it first started when your Auntie broke into our world and tried to kill Aunt Alex and Abigail. She decided to take me down to hell while she had a little talk with Auntie Rowena.” She pulls him into the aether and leads him to hell’s throne room.” Speaking of which, hey, Ro, how’s life on the throne?”

                 “Tedious.” She sighs, rolling her eyes. “ Fortunately I get to delegate to my heart’s content.”

                “All the best ones do. “Shelly winks. “ Well have fun, If you need me just light the Bat Signal. We’re using the conference room. I’ll talk to you later.” She walks off, pulling Ben along with her. “Scuzame, bitches.” She kicks the door open to a full conference room as her free hand draws her blade. “The room is ours now. Meet elsewhere.”  The demons inside pause briefly to stare at Ben. “Yeah, yeah, this is my baby brother, the future husband of your future queen. Come near him and I will obliterate you, instantly and without hesitation. Now scram.”  Much to Ben’s surprise they scatter instantly.

                   Shelly gives a contented sigh and sits down on the large plush office chair and puts her feet up on the table, placing George in her lap again. Ben reluctantly pulls one up and sits down.

                   “So… demons?” He prods her.

                   “Oh, yeah. They’re terrible and or stupid people who have been tortured and degraded and found a special place in their heart for detestable wicked self serving acts of villainy in order to escape the tortures of the pit. So think of the worst selfish dishonest manipulative person you know with magic powers.” Of course this just causes him to think of his Aunt Bree. Her visits always ended with a discussion with Harahel on why she is wrong in absolutely every way. At least until his mother came back. “You really can’t trust them. You have to be tricky and sneaky and one step ahead of them to even hope to have a chance. So sit down and let me tell you the tale of how I outsmarted my darling Uncle Crowley while still in elementary school.”

                  “I am sitting.” Ben points out.

                  “Well, you’re sitting like you’re standing so sit sittier and just stay there.”  Shelly reaches over and pats his face.  “You see people underestimate me. I can’t have that calm sweet even visage Uncle Helel does to lull people, but I can do a mean bubbly airheaded brat.”

                    “You are a mean bubbly airheaded brat.” This gets him a punch in the shoulder.

                    “Shut up and listen, snowy.”

 

                 Sam picks up his phone as he gets out of the shower. It’s been ringing off the hook, but not the emergency phone, so it’s not an emergency. Or at least not a life threatening emergency. It’s Claire. Dean’s probably acting up. She took him to Helheim to train with the valkyrie a little and talk adoption if he doesn’t get back to normal, Hmm.  Maybe it’s Dean… Sam allows himself a smile as he answers the phone.

                  “Hello?” He asks innocently.

                  “Hi, Sam?” It’s actually Claire.  “So, hahaha, you know how Dan’s here with us?”

                  “Yes.”

                  “Yeah, he’s not here… with us.. or with anyone we know. He may or may not be with Rhys because Rhys is gone too, but he’s always disappearing. Usually with Krissy but she’s hunting with Harahel.”

                  “Well, he’s not actually a toddler. So you’re not in trouble or anything. Which means you can relax.” Sam looks to the mirror, all fogged up. He almost doesn’t want to wipe it off. This way you can’t see the grey or developing wrinkles on the creases in his forehead that Babe calls his puppy lines. She’ll sometimes trace them with marker, along with all his other creases, then have him pose as various characters. It’s absolutely amazing how bored she gets up in heaven.

               “Yes, but who’s going to tell Cas is what I’m saying.” Claire gets to the point.

               “I will.”Sam reassures her. “If you hear from him just let me know.”

               “I will, thanks. I’ll try to get Rhys to help track him down. If I can find him. I’ll.. talk to you later.”

               “Later Claire.” Sam hangs up. Castiel is off angry and sulking and refusing to let any angels turn him back. Not that any of them have any real desire to help Dean in the first place. Maybe Hara and Miti, but they’d just try talking to Cas. He should probably stop thinking about it too hard before Cas comes to check on him. He wipes off the mirror and sees the image of his twenty something year old self staring back at him. “Cute, Babe, but now exactly helpful.” He informs her about the illusion.

                 “What’s cute?” She pops in, hanging her arms around his neck from behind. Her reflection is a few years younger as well, back to when he first met her. Not a huge difference.  

                 “You know this isn’t allowed, right?” Sam looks back. “If it’s not just an illusion, I mean.” He can see her look briefly confused.

                 “Actually, I had nothing to do with this. I’m not inclined to be upset about it. You’re a cutie at any age.” She nibbles on his neck.

                 “Dean’s missing so this can’t be a coincidence.” Sam sighs. “Let me get dressed, I need to talk to Cas.”

                 “Later.” His wife snaps time to a stop. “I just want a taste before he have to send it back. If we need to send it back.” Sam doesn’t feel the need to argue.

 

                  “Have a seat, you must be hungry.” Raphael motions to Undi as he brings him back to the apartment. “I have to consult with my brother about building a body for her. There might be some problems for her if I do it here. Or if I do it in general. I may have to talk Raphael through it.”

                  “Damn it, Gabriel!”  They hear the voice of either a small precocious toddler or someone who’s been inhaling helium, shout from another room followed up with several large obscene obviously threatening enochian sentences. 

                   “Oh, what’s she done now?” They hear Alex give an exhasperated sigh as she comes out of her office.

                   “Alex?” Raphael looks at her surprised.

                   “What?” She rubs her temple.

                   “You’re… “He’s interrupted by a small angry toddler wearing one of Alex’s shirts who storms down the hallway.  Her hair is down to her ankles and her scowling face with the big ice blue eyes is all too familiar. Alex bursts out laughing and gets her shins kicked in response. Undi can’t help but grin.

                  “You need to beat the crap out of that angel. Now. And turn me back.” Luci points to Raphael who’s quietly laughing to himself.

                  “Alex? We were discussing another child.” Raphael asks.

                  “Well, he does take up less space this way.” Alex reaches down and pinches Luci’s cheek. “Michael should have the little Castle bed fort bunkbed thing you made for the twins. You and Dean could share a room.” She grins as Raphael actually laughs out loud at this.

                 “You are so lucky he loves you.” Luci smacks Alex’s hand away and walks over to his brother. “I’m glad this amuses you.”

                “I’ve never seen you as a toddler.” Raphael picks him up and sits him on the island. “You are rather adorable.”

                 “Well, of course I am.” Luci reaches over to take some fruit from the fruit bowl. “What are you waiting for?”

                  “For Michael and the twins to come see this.  Mostly. I’m hoping the laughter will make them all feel a bit more forgiving and you can go home before Abigail starts calling you Dad.”

                 “That joke is really becoming annoying. And it’s hardly appropriate.” Luci pauses between bites. “What about Gabriel? I am getting her back for this. Maybe you’ll be on my side this time?” Luci looks at him hopefully.

                 “I am not getting involved in another prank war. As for Gabriel she has her Barry Manilow hold music on so it’s best not to bother her right now.” He explains 

                 “They’re not going to let her stay like that , you know.” Luci says quietly nodding to Alex. “ Or at least not keep the extra years.”

                  “I know.” Raphael replies just as quietly. “Maybe Ben will be a little less hostile to you this way too.” He suggests in enochian.

                  “Do you really think I’m not aware of all the possible ways I could use this to my advantage? Do you? I’m trying to be good and honest and straight forwards and not manipulate the people I care about, you brat.” Luci reaches up to rap on his little brother’s head. “There should be a fucking support group for this kind of thing.” he mutters before returning to the fruit.

                   “Oh, Uncle.” Abigail heaves a sigh as Ben comes in, holding the door open for her and her friends. “Please tell me you didn’t fall in the fountain of youth too. Aw and Mo-om! You know better.” She exclaims as her mother comes out to greet her.

                    “What are you talking abou…” Alex pauses as she catches sight of herself in the glass. “Holy shit. I’m twenty something again. I didn’t even leave my office today, Abigail. And I do know better. What’s going on? Oh, um, hello, Abby’s friends?” She waves at them. Abigail winces. This is going to take all night.

                     “It’s okay. We’re taking them to see Tris. She needs her friends right now. I have the lotion, so we’ll be fine.” Abigail explains.

                     “i’d better go with them. Dean’s off with Claire in Helheim, right?” Luci hopd down from the counter top, and heads to Abigail’s room.  “I’m borrowing a blade and some sca… oh, thanks. “ Luci pauses as Raphael snaps him into some jeans and a pink Daddy’s little angel t-shirt with wings and halo surrounding the words. “Ha ha, smart ass.” He goes into Abigail’s room.

                      “ What the…” Rose starts, unable to complete the thought.

                     “Hey, what’s going on here?” Shelly prods everyone in so she and Alice and the twins can enter the apartment. They enter just in time for Luci to come back out of Abigail’s room with his neice’s beginners sword.

                      “Dad?” Chris widens his eyes as Shelly and Riley just gape at him.

                      “Hi honey bunnies. What’s new?” He gives a charming smile and a little wave. Riley and Shelly just burst out laughing.

                      “Abigail?” Kat tugs her arm. “What’s going on? That can’t be your uncle.”

                      “I.. don’t actually know.” Abigail confesses. “Abba?” He just shakes his head.

                      “Raphael,” A handsome young man in a trench coat appears, holding another beautiful young man by the arm, who’s wearing Dean’s usual jacket. “Will you keep an eye on this… foolish…” Raphael just sighs at this, otherwise ignoring the absurd question from his little brother.

                      “And what exactly have you done now, Winchester?” Raphael demands.

                      “I just… kept winning.” Dean’s explanation explains nothing. 


	54. Truth or Something Like it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A greiving Undhi makes a mistake  
>  Mirror- Raphael asks a close sibling for help  
>  Mule decides to go get his son.

           Undhi can’t help notice Ben ignoring him. Ben knows he’s not hosting Harahel. He always does, but he’s never been this cold about it before. Sure he’s always a little put out like getting a waffle cone with no ice cream in it, but he’d just be a polite little sweetheart.  He’s aska bout Harahel, and what he’s doing and what Undhi is doing. With all the chaos going on and this Sam and Gabriel have now arguing with this Dean about a card game, Ben’s just ignoring Undhi in a way that feels like an incredibly personal snub.

          Abigail and her friends have gone to the basement with the tiny evil Helel along with the twin they’re calling Chris, and Shelly. The Riley twin  has gone back to the other apartment with a young woman they call Alice who he has no idea how she fits into this family at all. He thought Ben would have gone with Abigail given how Harahel has said he looks at her, but he’s been just a little troubled.

          He deserves to know what’s happened. What Harahel did. They can’t keep this secret from him, they can’t do this to him. Harahel deserves to be mourned and allowed to rest. Fuck helping Helel reconcile her son. She doesn’t deserve Harahel martyring himself for her sake. Undhi gets to his feet and walks over to Ben, takes him by the arm and leads him into the hallway. Ben is too startled to really resist.

          “Ben.” He says quietly. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

          “What could you possibly have to tell me that I would care to hear about?” Is the cold reply that’s remarkably like his mother’s but for the faint hope in his eyes that Undhi has something good to say. That look was usually followed by mountains of tears when he was a toddler. 

           “I… Harahel wanted me to tell you he loved you. and he misses you and to take this time to grow closer to your parents who are… amazing if flawed people.” Undhi forces himself to give the message he was actually asked to deliver, feeling like absolute garbage for both wanting to tell him the truth and not doing it. 

           “Really. My mother who fired him. And my father, who just let her sent both of us away without a word. Such wonderful people.” Ben snaps, hardly unfair, but still they are his.. wait a minute….

           “What? You.. but he told you… Who said that?” Undhi feels more than a little shocked at this. No wonder Ben’s in such a bad mood.

            “I don’t care what Hara thinks.” Ben snaps, “I am not going to forgive them and if he doesn’t care enough about me to talk to me about this himself I...I’m not going to forgive him for lying to me.” Undhi just stares at the boy, arms crossed, sullen, pouting, looking ever bit the child he’s acting like.

           “You...complete and utter BRAT!” He explodes at this. Ben has always taken Harahel for granted, always. He always just assumed that Hara would always be there. His lie was to protect Ben from being hurt, from feeling alone, from losing the parents he had left to his anger and resentment. And he won’t forgive him for that? “Harahel lied to you because he was trying to preserve your relationship with your mother. Because he loved you and thought it was best for you despite the fact that he never wanted to be away from you for a second. You lied to him for years about your little getaway to hell, for your own selfish amusement. And you have the gall to try and withhold forgiveness until he does what you want? Well, guess what? You are never going to forgive him because Harahel is never going to be speaking to you again. Because he went and saved that girl who saved you and your friend and died in the process and managed to do so without taking me with him because he is a kind loving wonderful angel who deserved better!” UIndhi’s tears cloud his vision as he pauses to catch his breath. The white blur that is Ben just vanishes without a word. 

 

        “Thank you for coming.” Raphael greets his sibling as he hears the flutter of her wings.

        “Did you think I wouldn’t?” Azrael sits beside him on the large tree branch overlooking the plains, shoulder to shoulder.

         “I wasn’t sure. It’s not exactly in your purview. Granted neither was Harahel’s request, though I suppose I understand it better. I wouldn’t ask you but it’s not exactly something I can do by myself. And there’s Donny to take care of, and I need something delivered afterwards…” He explains again though he already did in is surprising prayer earlier. “You’re the only one I can trust.”

         “Have you talked to Claire about this?” Azrael asks quietly. “Any of it?”

         “I don’t want to put her in that position. She’ll probably understand, but at the same time I don’t think I want to think about my little girl being in that much pain. Besides she’s getting over her own nightmares. She doesn’t need mine.” Raphael rests his head wearily against hers, letting his Azrael embrace him.

          “You will have them, you know. The nightmares, as well as the dreams. Sometimes you’ll get the rest you want, but not always Raph. And you have a lot to sort through.” She cautions, rubbing his arm.

            “I know, but at least they’ll only be mine. I won’t be surrounded by the voices of suffering, I won’t be invaded by every though, every song, I can’t do this anymore, Sariel. I can’t. Not for him, never for him.”

             “There’s no reason to do something so drastic just to tell Helel to go fuck himself. If you don’t want to help him , you absolutely don’t have to. Dad only knows he doesn’t deserve anything from you, and never did. You have options. You can take a break, but it doesn’t have to be this big of a charge.”

              “You know me, Sariel. The only way I can abstain from helping is if I can’t or if trying just makes things worse and even then…” He reminds her but he doesn’t really have to. Not after all those plagues when he had to force himself not to intervene, and just came to her for reassurance that it would be alright, the children would be alright, that they wouldn’t be afraid or lost or lonely on the way. It was barely enough to keep him going at all. “Maybe I’m just being selfish.”

              “You are not being selfish.” Azrael says firmly. “And even if you were, it’s your turn. But please think about this some more.” She pleads. “ Think about what happened to Harahel… I didn’t… I didn’t even consider that he would survive, that he would go through that. I never should have… I shouldn’t be helping you, but like you said, I’m the only one you can turn to right now, aren’t I? Father only knows if anyone deserves to step away from it all, you do.” 

                “And you will take Donny to the abyss. I don’t want heaven interrogating him and I don’t exactly trust any of the angels left in hell to behave themselves. I have spoken to him about this about every aspect of it.” Raphael attempts to reassure her, as if she knows him so little as to think he wouldn’t.

                “I will.”

                “And don’t forget to deliver it to Ariel. She’s a good healer. She’ll make better use of it than I did.”

                “I won’t forget. And no she won’t. But just to let you know I’m not dealing with your siblings about this.” Azrael warns him. “At least not politely or with any sort of deference or respect at all.”

                “As if I would expect that from you under any circumstances.” Raphael smiles. “It is likely that one of them will eventually seek you out,”

                “And I would love to enlighten each and every one of them. I know it’s going to be a hassle, Raph, and I’d only ever do this for you. Father knows no one else is looking out for you. But it’s okay. I need a break sometimes, too. At least I’m lucky enough to be able to get my time off.”

                “Time off? Death gives you a holiday?” Raphael straightens up, a smile of amusement on his face. “What on earth do you do with it?” Fortunately for him he’s actually curious. She’d certainly never admit this to anyone else. though it’d be worth it if it helps make him change his mind.

               “I depends on why I need the break. Sometimes it just seems like it never ends, or there’s too much. Your siblings all look sideways at me, but see no problem increasing my workload whenever they damn well feel like it. Like rich people who complain about having a maid before trashing the entire house. A few times I’ve wandered around heaven, looking at some of the people I’ve delivered there. I only need to do that every hundred thousand years or so. Sometimes I stand at the edge of the abyss or fly off into the barrenness of space far enough away to feel alone enough to want to come back. All of which you can do easily as you are. it is all fairly refreshing, but mostly I,  um,” She wrinkles her nose, before mumbling something that makes Raphael widen his eyes.

               “What was that?”

               “You heard me.” She shoves his arm.

               “I can’t honestly believe that I did.” He replies with a faint amused smile on his fine.

                “I try to talk people out of committing suicide! Okay?” She shoves him some more as he just smiles at her. “As if that’s any stranger than you coming to hear me extolling the virtues of death so you feel better.” Azrael looks away but she is glad to hear him laugh even if it is just a chuckle at her embarrassment. “ I am not a hypocrite. Just because I know the importance of death doesn’t mean I don’t also value life. Death is sometimes the better, kinder, more dignified option for some people to take for themselves, but sometimes it’s not. It’s just gotten so much easier for them now and I get so tired coming after the fact for so many people who suddenly find themselves wanting to take it back. I just try to let them know that. You can let people know their options. That’s not impeding free will. It’s just letting them make informed decisions. It’s kind of like a coffee break for me now.  Or a reward, every hundred thousandth potential customer and all that. You don’t need to do this. Any of this, Raph, you know you don’t.”

               “You really don’t want me to.”

               “No, I don’t. Think about it a little more and whatever you decide, I’ll be here for you afterwards, Raphael, however you need me.” Azrael takes his hand. “I promise. I will take care of you.”

                “Thank you.” he gives a sigh of relief and kisses her forehead.

                “That’s enough of that.” Azrael rolls her eyes and gives him one last hug, squeezing with all her might. It’s probably the last time in a good while she’ll be able to. Hopefully with some time and peace he’ll finally be able to let go of that wicked little brat who’s done about as much damage to him as Helel has. Or she’ll get bored and forget about him now that he’s not her own little angelic cabana boy. That alone would make the whole thing worth it.   
  


                A slip of paper slides into Mule’s lap as he pulls himself together in the drivers seat.

                “Am I alright?” He reads, recognizing Hara’s writing, “Not really.” He gives a sigh and leans back in the seat.  “I can’t go into the same room as my wife without almost freezing, I have no idea what to tell my son or even if I should yet. Look, Hara, I know I wasn’t exactly warm to the idea of you at first, but you have been a wonderful uncle and caretaker for Ben. And maybe I can’t reassign you as his guardian angel but I did make you his godfather and you are his uncle so you two can see each other as much as you want. If Helel has anything to say about that I don’t care.” Mule sighs, looking out the window towards the house. Another note flutters down.

                 “Hmm, well, it’s been a while. And honestly, I can’t.. where is your vessel anyways?” It takes a few more minutes before he gets another, longer note, explaining the situation. “I suppose I can’t say anything to that. It’s what I would have done if I knew how to get past the archangels.” He shrugs, and picks up another one. “Like in the smurfs?” The car shivers a little along with a slightly irritating bit of tinnitus ringing in Mule’s ears. Harahel’s probably laughing a little. It’s still odd hearing an angel’s voice without intense pain. He really must be a small angel. Helel once described him him as an angelic version of a forever puppy. 

               “Well, never mind,” Mule doesn’t press further, “What’s done is done. When this girl gets here, she’ll stay with us. I’ll make sure she’s taken care of and, since you offered, I would be honored to be your vessel. After we go back to check in on Helel, we’ll both go find and talk to Ben.” Another note drops into his lap, this one a bit more hastily scrawled. “Yes, I’m sure. I want to be with my wife. I’m saying yes, You’re not going to make beg are you?”  He teases the suddenly reluctant angel, who finally takes his consent and enters Helel’s old vessel, current husband.

               “You’re so roomy” Hara looks down. “It’s like you could squeeze three of me in here. At least. Okay, okay. I’ll stay in the background while you talk to Helel, protecting you from the cold… yes I can do that. Then I’ll get us to the other Raphael’s apartment over there so we can talk to Ben.” Harahel says, then pauses. “Well, maybe we should get Ben first and then I can leave and Ben can keep you warm…” Hara can’t help but feel unsure about going to see Helel while wearing her husband. He was just thinking about helping Mule see her without freezing or distracting Ariel. Mule just reassures him that it’s perfectly alright, and even if it isn’t, if it makes Helel jealous enough to make her brute force her way back to consciousness and throttle them, then he’s willing to risk it. “I suppose so.” Harahel agrees, still fairly sure he probably should have thought of that before doing this, but it’s too late to take it back already so they should go on. “We did kind of make up, I think. She came to save me at least, even if she did get a little stuck.” Hara admits and withdraws back inside Mule not wanting to think about it anymore.

             “I’m very glad to hear that.” Mule takes a breath and heads back upstairs. Though he is slightly worried himself. They never really discussed him letting another angel use him as a vessel, though she damn well know he’s not her actual property,. But it is the only way he can be near her now. And she needs him. Maybe both of them. He barely even feels the cold as he walks up the stairs. Ariel gives him a surprised look as she notices them. 

               “Can you excuse us for a moment?” Mule quietly asks the angel with the raised eyebrow.

               “Of course.” Ariel steps back behind the veil to remain close while giving him the illusion of privacy. 

               “Hi, honey.” Mule sits beside her bruising her hair back behind her ears with his fingers. “I’m not apologizing and we still need to talk about things, a lot of things, probably. Ben especially. But I just want to remind you that not for one second does that mean I don’t love you every bit as much as I always did.” He kisses her cheek. “ They tell me you’ll be okay. That you’re healing and will be alright eventually. Unfortunately that may not be until I’ve been in heaven a long time and Ben… he needs his mother, Helel. He needs all of us. You me, Harahel, your siblings, but especially you. Even if he’s angry, even if he says otherwise, he needs you now. He’s lost so much time with you already. If there’s  any way.. anything you could do to help yourself get better quicker or just tell us what we can do, please.” he presses his cheek to hers, trying to warm her a little. “We love you. We’re going to get Ben, and we’ll be back soon.


	55. Bad Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Legion takes advantage,  
> Mule and Harahel take exception  
> Shelly takes care of her little brother
> 
> Breif warning, there's an extremely wrong section in here, not explicit because dear god no, but still, very bad.

     Ben just lays on the floor, staring at the snow drops. His throat hurts, his eyes hurt, his head hurts. He wants to cry, but he can’t. He wants to scream but he can’t. It’s all just stuck in a big suffocating knot in his chest. He can’t breathe, he can’t think, he can’t move. All he can do is just wrap himself in his wings and continue to exist.

      “Ben Harahel!” Legion’s concerned voice echoes in the empty boundaries. Ben doesn’t reply, mostly because he’s not sure what will come out if he tries to say he’s fine. “Are you injured?” It’s not too long after the question is asked and isn’t answered that the ground shudders beneath him, cracking with sound of a thousand blows all around him. The walls and columns crack and break, though few actually fall, as do the demon traps, allowing the demons inside.  “Ben.” They keep their voices low and soft as is usually the most effective when he’s upset. “BenHarahel. We are here.” Legion gently strokes the boys wings. “Where are you hurt? Tell me what’s wrong.”

         “He’s… he’s…” Ben chokes on the word.

         “Dead?” They venture as it seems the most likely thing to cause this level of pain in him. He’s not quite spoiled enough for anything less to do it.

        “Yes.”Ben’s shoulders start to tremble.

        “Come here.” Legion expands slightly, and picks the boy up to take him to the lounge. “Death is not what it once was. You’ll see him again maybe shortly, maybe not as quickly as you’d like, but it’s not the end. If you’re afraid he’s in hell, we’ll go rescue him. If he’s in heaven, you can easily resurrect him.”

          “Harahel is an angel. He’s in the abyss with every other angel, hundreds of thousands of them. How do I find him? And even then how do I bring him back? Does he even want to come back? He’s gone and I may never see him again, not for thousands of years at best and I just… I.. why didn’t he stay in the library? He can’t fight. He doesn’t fight, why would he do that? I just don’t understand.” The tears finally start to fall. Pieces of Legion discreetly slip away to gather them as they fall as the rest of them pet and stroke the boy, gently whispering endearments to him in all the ancient languages until all his tears are spent. But for all the feast given to them, it’s no longer enough.  They need more than just sustenance, they need reinforcements.

             Yes, they have thousands stil but they’re all old and weak and so many desperately need to be just disposed of and replaces, but there are no replacements. They have no access to hell proper anymore, no access to earth, no access to the souls they need. With enough grace they could possibly break free, but there’s no guarantee of it. So while part of them wants to just grab the boy and rip his throat out draining him, they know over all that they’d be killing the golden goose.  They need Ben, the little miniature lucifer weakened by his own ego, pride, innocence and compassion. As much as they hate to admit it, he’s their only way back to full strength. They’re only lacking a mere five hundred souls. A thousand or two if they get them preowned. 

               “My dearest BenHarahel.” Legion lifts Ben’s chin. At least the brat inherited Lucifer’s beauty. “You are capable of so much. Nothing is hopeless. No task cannot be achieved in your hands. You must take this pain and push it away. Save it for a time and place when it will do you go. Don’t let it cripple you.”

                 “I don’t know how to push this away.” Ben squeezes his eyes shut. “Every time I try it just gets stronger.”

                 “Sweet, Ben, my darling gentle kind little angel. I could take it away if only you’d let me.” Legion kisses his cheeks to get the last lingering tears squeezed out. “All this pointless pain.” They stroke Ben’s hair trailing their hands down to his cheeks and shoulders. “Clouding your mind, keeping you from seeing the hope and possibilities before you. If you could only clear the fog you’d see how things truly are. You know I’m right, Ben. Let me help you feel it as well.”

                  “I wish you could.” Ben says miserably. 

                  “May I?” Legion caresses his face. With the first bit of real intelligence he’s seen yet, Ben looks slightly wary of the offer.

                   “Without spells, or drugs, or alcohol or anything like that?” He asks, Legion can’t help but smile.

                   “We don’t need any of those.” They say sincerely. “You have everything you need right as you are. All you need is someone to teach you how to use it.” Legion’s voice is still soothing and gentle. The kindness of his tone is enough to keep Ben’s discomfort and uncertainty at bay enough for him to stay. Not enough for even an implied yes to an implied question but then, they are demons, they don’t need nor even truly care for one. “You’re very tense, your back your wings. May I?” A nod is enough. An innocent gentle massage to start with an innocent gentle kiss on the cheek added not long after. Pieces break away massaging shoulders, arms, back, feet, at once, then legs thighs, a reassurance that everything is alright is ended with a simple little lip to lip kiss that isn’t reacted to, a few more given. It’s almost too easy to slide past the boundaries. 

               Innocent, pure and astoundingly naive, after some mild initial resistance and confusion, Ben is easily overwhelmed by the sensations. Soon enough, They’ll have him as putty in their hands. Luficer’s spawn will be the one begging and pleading for more, lovesick and desperate for a glimpse, a touch. He’ll give them their freedom without hesitation, and then… then revenge. This is even better than they could have hoped for. 

                An enraged roar gives Legion enough of a warning to draw themselves together. But that’s a mistake, as they’re tackled to the ground, hands on their head. Pieces of them vanish one maniple after the other in a blinding painful light that paralyzes them with it’s painful searing righteous intensity.

                “No! D- hara stop… Hara?” The angel’s concentration is broken long enough for Legion to splinter in two and send the angel across the room into a cracked crumbling wall collapsing it over them.  You’d think they’d be use to smitings by now, but it never gets any easier to break away. Of course, they never lose so many in an attack either, Most angels don’t go for such unrestrained overkill when smiting. This is not good. It has to be ended now. “Legion no!” Ben stands in between them and the angel as it pushes out of the rubble. “Both of you st…” But they have no time for that. Legion just knocks him aside sending him into the deepest of sleeps. As young and inexperienced as he is, the boy’s still too powerful to be left conscious.

           “How DARE you lay your hands on him!” The manifested wings are lovely, sharp mother of pearl, but he clearly doesn’t know how to use them, at all. He doesn’t even have a blade. An angel without a blade. Which is unfortunate as it mean’s Legion can’t keep it and kill him with it. No wonder Ben assumed he was dead, though he clearly isn’t. That’s a hell of a vessel though for such a worthless angel. Maybe they’ll take it from him.

             “You never should have left your library.” Legion laughs. Without the element of surprise, the angel is no match for them. It’s hilarious, almost fun. It’s been so long since the slaughter. They don’t want to waste it. He’s pathetic. All heart, no skill, and soon, no vessel. But maybe a little more fun first. Much to their surprise the angel manages to get back to his feet one more time, bleeding broken, exhausted, ready to attack again, though he also looks as if he’s going to lose his balance just by standing, his eyes half glazing over in a rather odd way.

              “I said STAND DOWN!” The angry words burst from the angel’s lips as the broken wings vanish. His entire demeanor changes to something stronger and more steady. “You,” This new person reaches back to a piece of stone trellis, breaking it off. “Have one chance to explain to me why I shouldn’t finish the job and send your damned soul to the abyss after what you did to my son.” He’s stalling clearly, Legion can see a lightly blue circle flare at the edges of his iris as the physical damage clears up rather smoothly.  

 

              “Your son?” A smiles crosses their lips. “That is so very interesting. He should have told me before I knocked him out. Tell me, Ben’s Father, do you know what I am?”

              “A rat king.” comes the reply which is far more irritatingly accurate than they really feel like admitting. “A little bigger, a little nastier, but at heart nothing more than a few condemned souls.” So he has no idea what a demon is either. Like Ben, all he knows are simple malevolent ghosts. 

              “My name is Legion.” They smirk. “For we are many.” Though after the irritating thing’s rat king comment it doesn’t feel as intimidating and it’s only when they’re spread into as many of themselves as there are left that Ben’s father looks even slightly worried. Unfortunately it worries Legion even more. 

               That little useless pathetic angel inside him reduced them more than any even should be. Fortunately the way his defenses are set it was the least of them eliminated. Ben’s father, however, must be a soldier. He’s quick strong, disciplined in movement and thought.  He never takes his back from the corner, injuring those in front until they’re forced to retreat back into themselves in a wide perimeter. While more useful than those on the front lines, they’re weaker, older,whispering advice to the younger souls powering themselves. The oldest of all, the furthest back with the loudest voice, directs them all.

              Ben’s father is even stronger than they thought he’d be, far more skilled and resilient. And that angel, weak and spent inside him inhabits his vessel like nothing Legion has ever seen. He fills into the edges healing, strengthening, blessing the human without taking over even so much as to break his vessel’s concentration. Only a weak worthless fighter would even need to work from behind the curtain like that. The human is both sword and shield for the angel, and the angel is instant healing and enhancement. Together the pair is infuriating. Of course it stands to reason about his vessel, Lucifer could only love  someone strong and exceptional much less, somehow bear his… his son.

              Legion pulls half of them into one being and retreats back towards the nephilim, the last expendable ones hurling themselves at the man individually slowing him down until the angel reemerges to hurls them all aside with it’s large surprisingly strong wings before retreating back into its vessel. But it pauses him long enough for Legion to grab the comatose boy and hold him against them like a shield. They draw the rest of themselves in before taking further damage. 

              “I wouldn’t recommend that.” Ben’s father says cooly, calmly, standing tall, strong, and ready. 

              “What exactly do we have to lose?” Legion casually places a free hand around  Ben’s throat.

              “If you don’t let him go you will die a thousand deaths. Each and every one of you.” A small smile flickers across his face which is somehow terrifying. The threat itself doesn’t mean much as they already have died several thousand deaths in that one initial attack. “At the very least you already have to change your name to Gross.” The stinging comment makes them check themselves slightly. He’s right, they’re less than a hundred fifty. They haven’t been this few since they were first formed.

                “Then so will your son. I can only kill him once, true, and maybe you can get him back but how quickly? What will he have to endure while he’s there? Not everybody will be as nice to him as we were.” Legion kisses Ben’s cheek. “Destroying me won’t save him, will it? But if I give him up, what’s to say you don’t kill me anyways?”

                 “I swear, if you let him go, let us leave,and against every ounce of instinct and desire inside me I will not destroy you today.” it looks as if it kills him to promise this. “I give you my word.”

                  “ The word of a Winchester. I may not have gotten out much, but I’m not quite that cut off.” Legion snorts.

                  “I give you the word of a soldier, a marine. If that doesn’t mean anything, I don’t know what would.” Ben’s father seems uncomfortable about the glint in their eyes as he says this. As well he should be. 

                 “A soldier. A real soldier. That’s right he did briefly mention you were a soldier, when he was blabbing about his troubles. That does mean something. It means so… so much to me. Well, then soldier, I would care to live beyond today as well, so I am going to offer you a trade. A Winchester for a Winchester. You for your son. Kick out your little angel, slice off a piece of that little ward against evil charm on your chest and when I join you, your son will be as free of me as you can make him.”

                   “You want my body.”

                  “In a manner of speaking, yes. I’m hardly expecting you to just give me free reign once I’m in. I know very well you’re not the type to just roll over. I’m just suggesting we take the fight indoors. I have to be honest, once I have you, I won’t need him. Not really.” Legion doesn’t quite lie. The need to take in Lucifer’s grace is more of an addiction. A way to stop the pain of existing. “We admit it’s a slightly bigger risk for the both of us, but the stakes are well worth the wager, aren’t they?” Legion rests his cheek against Ben’s head. “How about it? Do we have a deal?”

                   “You’ll let my son go, alive and unharmed in exchange for the attempt to use my body until I kick you out again?” Ben’s father clarifies warily.

                    “Your words exactly.” They cross Ben’s heart.  There’s a brief struggle within him, his eyes flashing blue every few second, until it’s forcibly submerged.

                     “It’s a deal.” 

                    “Ben.” The first thing he hears is  is a accompanied by someone squeezing his nose shut, and shaking he head back and forth. “C’mon. I know you’re okay, Ben. C’moooon. Wakey wakey.” She sings. “Preferably sometime before I give birth. I mean that wouldn’t be the greatest start for a biopib you have to admit. ‘Young Bruce’ I decided on Bruce by the way, ‘Was born in a pit of hellfire and suffering, the scent of sulfur as ever present as the moans of tortured souls..’Am I right?”

                  “Michele..” He shoves her away, reflexively and looks down to his body. He’s mostly clothed. And where he’s exposed there aren’t any of the expected marks. Was it a dream? It has to have been a dream. “What are you... what are you doing here?”

                   “I could ask you the same question but you’d only be a smart ass about it, so I will answer you instead. I was the only one who could get in. Not only are you covered with rubble, some jackass warded everything against both humans and angels alike and well, we’re not sending anything else in.  I could though. I guess it was made so you can get out, but no one else can get in. I think it’s even warded against demons which is nice. Anyways you wouldn’t wake so I figured I’d come down, give you an wet willy, see how that works,” Her words make him look around at the decimated remains of his sanctuary, piled up into a surprisingly secure dome around them with a lot of marks and symbols on the inside. It’s all lit by a little halo of light around Shelly’s head which was obviously intentionlly and irritatingly symbolic. Almost all the snow drops and lillies around him have been crushed.

                   “I don’t feel so well.” He turns onto his stomach, his insides trying to expel what seems like all of his internal organs, though there’s nothing to come out. 

                   “Michelle.” He can hear Abigail’s father calling from the outside.

                   “It’s okay, Uncle Raph. He’s okay, just a simple sleep spell.” She calls back out to him. “He just needs a minute that’s all.” Ben feels more than just nauseous as his attempts to convince himself it wasn’t real proves more thoroughly to him that it was and that he absolutely beyond all certainty cannot face anyone else in either realm as long as he lives. “Ben?” Shelly’s concerned low voice brings him back to himself.

                     “Please don’t make me see them.” Ben quietly pleads, not looking her in the eye. Shelly looks at him a moment. He’s all curled in on himself, his eyes squeezed shut, face even paler than usual.

                 “Hold on.” She crawls out and quietly talk to her uncle. What is she saying? She must know. Does she know? Do they all know? What if they don’t? What if they do? Did his father and Harahel say.. did they….  Suddenly it’s hard to for him to breathe. It’s all just beyond horrifying. “Okay. It’s okay, Ben. We’ll just go back to the bunker,” She goes to rub his back but takes her hand back immediately as he tenses up even further as she touches him. “You can stay in my room.. I spend every night snuggles up with Alice anyways because i don’t really feel like making my bed every morning. So you’re not putting me out or anything. Plus it’s completely utterly warded so you don’t have to see anything or anyone you don’t want to. Except me because it’s my room and you’re my brother. Okay?”

          “Okay.” He replies after a minute.

          “Can you make it there okay or should I carry you?”

          “No, don’t.. I’m fine. I’m okay.” He quickly answers.

          “Okay. So you’d better put your wings back in, it’s kind of a tight squeeze. Do you need a boost?” She puts her hands together standing under the hole to let him step on them.

           “I am not that much shorter than you.” He snaps ignoring her. “And I’m not climbing over or on top of a pregnant woman to get out of the rubble. Have you lost your mind?”

            “Wow, you sounded just like Uncle Raph talking to many with that, you know, a few octaves higher, but still.” He pushes her aside and climbs up. She ends up pushing up on the soles of his feet anyways as he struggles to find a hold on that slick spot. 

           “Thank you.” comes the reluctant grouchy muttering from above. Shelly quickly follows him.

            “Hey.” Shelly remarks, coming out of the hole on the other side, not quite tumbling the way he did.  ‘Think this is what it was it was like for the twins?” She waggles her eyebrows at him. He gives a brief laugh despite himself. There’s no one there. Whatever she said to her uncle and whoever else was out here, they left.

             “What did you tell them? What do they…” Ben asks crossing his arms as he looks around. 

             “They’re searching the area and gave me about five minutes to get you out home and safely put. So we’ll discuss whatever needs to be discussed later. They said you’re not in trouble. Though I have your back in case that’s one of those parental double speak things, but if you want to be alone, let’s scoot.” She grabs his wrist and pulls him after her back to her room at the bunker. “Take a shower first though, you’re all dusty and reek of sulfur. ‘Shelly grabs a towel and prods him towards the bathroom. “I’ll stand guard, keep the adults away, and be prepared to barge in if I think you’re in trouble so when I ask questions answer me. Even just to tell me to fuck off. Okay?”

           “Okay.” Ben closes the door between them. 

           “Hey, We need to come up with code words and stuff.” Shelly leans against the door as he starts to draw a bath. “Dad and Uncle Dean have them. You know, a good way to send messages when we’re in trouble or just want to tell each other stuff without other people understanding. Not right now of course, because we’re shouting through the bathroom door, but later. That sound alright?” She waits a minute for a response.

             “Yes.” He finally says, stepping into the water.

              “So, I do have some good news. I don’t know if you heard. I know you ran off because that idiot vessel told you your Hara was dead a little prematurely, but he’s okay. And your father told your mother to shove it.and says Hara and you can see each other as much as you both fucking want regardless of his status as your guardian angel. So if you want me to go get him once he gets another vessel…” Shelly offers.

              “No!... I… no.” he replies quicker to this than anything else. “No.”

              “Okay.” She tries to think. He obviously needs to talk to someone and his wonderful beautiful big sister is clearly not the one he wants to talk to. “I could get Abigail.”

              “No….”This reply is quiet but mortified at the thought. “No, no, no. I don’t want to talk to her. Don’t say anything to her. Don’t let them say anything to her.”

              “Okay, are you okay? Do you want me to come in?”  

               “No,”

               Shelly sighs and looks around. Obviously he needs someone even though he doesn’t want anyone, soooooo…..

               “Georgie!” She smiles as the puppy trots over to greet her as always. “There’s my good little therapy dog. Okay, George, your wittle uncle Benny needs some snuggle and kissy poos, okay? Okay? That’s my girl. INCOMING!” She shouts and opens the door, lightly tossing the puppy into the tub. George loves that. 

               “What the hell!” Is the startled exclamation. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” Shelly forces herself not to laugh and just waits quietly for him to come out again.


	56. Something to talk about.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harahel and Ben talk.  
> Luci and Alex also talk.

       “Nuh-uh.” Ben can hear Shelly as he wakes from his nap.George is still snuggled in his arms. “He wants to be alone; he gets to be alone. He made it very clear that he doesn’t want to see you or absolutely anyone at all. Having felt that way myself in this enormous and way too intrusive family,  I intend to ensure he gets the time he needs. Besides he has my puppy for snuggles and kisses so he’s good. And yes I’m making sure he has food.” Ben can feel the irritated silence opposite Shelly at this pronouncement.

         “Please understand, it’s important that I speak with him and yes it has to come from me.” It’s his Harahel but in that other one’s vessel. “Ben, I know why you don’t want to talk to me, but that reason is why you should. There are things about Legion we need to know for your father’s sake.”

         “What do you mean? What’s going on?” Shelly sounds a little worried at this, so much so that George leaps down and heads straight to the door. It’s then Ben realizes that he hasn’t seen or heard his father since the incident. He thought he was just angry or dusgusted with Ben, but why would he have Hara leave him as a vessel in this world. Or did Hara leave willingly. Of course Ben has no idea why his father would even let Hara use him as a vessel in the first place. There’s no way that his mother would be okay with that. Unless they’re somehow so angry with each other they don’t care what each other says or does.  As frightening as the thought is, it also makes him feel oddly happy. That his father would defy his mother and use himself to safely bring Ben his angel back… But he wouldn’t do that. Would he? No. Maybe. Maybe she’s just so mad at Ben she doesn’t even care anymore. Oh and what if she knows… what if she….

           “Ben?” Hara sounds concerned, probably because Ben’s struggling not to hyperventilate at the thought. 

           “He can come in.” Ben manages, though his voice cracks a little at this, but he doesn’t want Harahel to look at him either, so he hides under the covers.

          “He said I could…”

          “I heard him.” Shelly interrupts the impatient angel. Ben can hear the door creak open, then the angels’ footsteps as he walks over to sit on the side of his bed. “Do you want me to come in, too, Ben?” Shelly asks.

          “No.” Ben tries not to sound too horrified at the thought of her hearing any of what he did.

          “Fine. I’m only your sister, that’s all, but whatever.” Shelly grumbles, closing the door again.

          “I see she’s warmed up to you.” Harahel remarks sounding almost annoyed by this for some reason.

          “Yeah, she says it’s because she wants me to marry Abigail so Abigail can finally be her sister and not just her cousin. But who even knows. Somehow she’s still as irritating as when she decided to hate me.” He peeks out slightly to glance at the new vessel. Like he thought it’s the one the other Harahel was using earlier. Nice of the other to share, Not that he’d really expect less of the other Harahel. “Undhi thinks you’re dead. He said you were.”

           “No. I expected to die, but they didn’t kill me.” Harahel says this so quietly it doesn’t sound like a good thing.

           “Are you okay?” Ben sits up, pushing the covers aside to embrace his angel from behind, hoping he’s not pushed away in revulsion.

           “I’m alright.” Hara accepts and places his own hands on the arms around his neck, giving Ben a reassuring pat. “Don’t worry about me right now, Ben.”

           “I’ll worry about who I want to when I want to. How did you escape?”

           “I didn’t. Your mother came to rescue me.” Hara says simply, though not too happily.

            “She.. she did?” Ben’s not quite sure how to feel about that himself.   

            “I know, I coudn’t believe it myself. I thought she hated me now, but she came for me. I think we maybe even made up.” Though Hara still doesn’t sound as happy as he reasonably should about any of this.

             “You must have if she let you use Dad as a vessel.”

             “First of all, your mother doesn’t have a say in what your father does with his own body. Agreeing or offering his body as a vessel is his choice entirely. Secondly, she’s not exactly in the position to voice her opinion regardless. She… Ben… your mother is hurt. She got hurt rescuing me. She fought the Mother of all leviathan and got poisoned or corrupted, I’m not sure which it is exactly, but she froze to stop it from spreading and… She’s going to be okay. Helel will be okay, she’s been hurt like this before, so we know she will. It’s just that… if we can’t find a way to heal her, that won’t be for a very, very long time.” Ben doesn’t say anything for a good while. “Ben?”

              “What do you mean by a very, very long time?” He finally asks, thought he doesn’t want to think about it, too much. “Years?”

              “Eons.”

              “Oh.”

              “She’s not suffering.” Hara reassured him. “Michael helps her back into her vessel so she could sleep through it, but she’s still very cold. That’s actually why I was in your father. It was the only way he could be beside her or try and talk to her without freezing. That’s why we were coming to find you. To let youknow what had happened.” Hara reaches up to caress Ben’s cheek. Ben stiffens at this. “We’re not angry with you, Ben.” Hara takes his hand back. “No matter what or how it happened, it was not your fault. I should have just grabbed you and taken you out of there, but when I saw what they were doing to you I just… I lost my temper.” 

             “They were just… we were just…. I don’t know what… I wasn’t… the.. I.. I just.” Ben struggles to say something about what happened but he’s not sure what to say. To be perfectly honest, he’s confused about the whole thing. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to talk about it, think about it and yet that’s all he seems to be able to do. 

              “Ben. What that demon… demons… what happened to you was wrong, but you are not at fault. You’re thirteen and not old enough to give meaningful consent to an adult anything. I’m not… angry with you. You are not in trouble, and I will fight to the death anyone who tries to make you fele differenly about this if I have to. Do you understand us?” Harahel turns to look him directly in the eyes.  “There is noting wrong with you, nothing tainted or defiles or impure. Nothing anyone can do to you can take anything away from who you are. All it can do is hurt you, confuse you, and give you unpleasant memories.

              “Ben, I know that what you want is to just hide away and bury yourself until the pain goes away, but you can’t.”

              “How do you know?” Bens petulant challenge sounds childish even to him.    

              “Because your mother said that very thing to a young girl in the hospital a few days before you were born. The one across the hall. She was thirteen and giving birth to her pastor’s child. I’m going to tell you the rest of what she said as well. That now your hurt, it’s up to you to decide how you’re going to heal from this. How you are going to move on and take back the rest of your life from this. You are not at fault for what happened to you, but you are responsible for your life and actions in the aftermath. You won’t be alone. If you want to be good and pure and kind you can be. If you decide that there’s not point in trying you can live a life of bitterness and anger and self destruction. 

            “Either way you’ll find people who will help you and stand by yourside. Ben, I am on your side. You need to understand that, too. I love you, Ben and I would like nothing more than to be at your side, loving and protecting you for all eternity, but there are going to be times I can’t. For whatever reason. Especially now that you’re older.” He adds as Ben gives him a look at this.

             “You left me.” Ben accuses him. 

             “I was sent away.”

             “You didn’t even put up a fight! And you lied to me. You just… left then went on a suicide mission.” Ben continues letting some of his anger seep out. “You’d rather die than be my angel and I’m supposed to trust you?”

              “That’s not…”

              “You wouldn’t defy my mother to stay with me, but you did to go kill yourself for some lost soul in purgatory!”

              “You didn’t need me, Ben. She did. You were supposed to get closer to your mother witout me around. You weren’t supposed to know she fired me and you weren’t supposed to be told that I’d died even if I did. I was just trying to protect you from pain you didn’t have to feel.” Hara explains, turning to face him, but Ben’s not having it. He can tell based on Ben’s crossed arms and adorable almost pout that he gets whenhe’s mad ever since he was little.  “I’m sorry, Ben. I should have been honest, and I should have… just because I’m a grown angel doesn’t mean I always know the right thing to do all the time. What I think is the best thing for you isn’t neccessarily what I want to happen and sometimes I hurt and make bad decisions. I never meant to hurt you worse. It just seemed like there were no good options left.. I’m sorry I was so wrong.” 

               “It’s okay.” Ben says after a moment. “but you should have been honest, because you’re not good at lying or being deceitful or anything like that. Why did you think you’d be any good this time?” Ben sighs, and awkwardly pats his angel’s head. “That’s Auntie’s domain.”

                “You little brat.” Harahel laughs and holds his arms out for a hug. “It is okay. I’ll be okay. Anyways... Anyways I’m here with you now, and as long as you want me here,  I won’t leave you until we at least get your father back.”

                “What? What do you mean get my father back? What happened to dad?” Ben straightens up.

                "He… he traded himself for you. Legion rendered you unconcious and was holding you hostage….”

                “They never would have hurt me.” Ben says, though the way his voice drops, it’s clear he’s no longer sure. “They’re just scared. That’s all. They were forced together by my mother’s counterpart, used, abandoned, starved, tortured by her him whatever she goes by here. If you want to know about Legion ask Lucifer. She knows them better than I would.”

                  “She doesn’t know them now. We need to hear from you, what he told you. What you talked about. Anything that could help us find him and your father. You don’t have to tell them what happened. Or what they did to you, just things you talked about. Anything that might clue us in to where they might have gone.”

                   “Do I have to leave the rooma dn go talk to them all?” Ben scrunches up his nose in that way he does when he knows the answer but just doesn’t like it.

               “Yes.” Hara says gently, and takes Bens’ hand. “You do.”

               “Okay.” Ben takes a breath and forces him self to get up when his angel does.  “Shelly?” He calls to the door.

               “Yes?” she opens the door.   

               “Would you come with us?”

               “Pfft, Like I wasn’t going to anyways.”

 

               “They’re still giving you the silent treatment.” Alex asks handing Luci a cup of coffee.

               “Of course. Like mother like child. Poor Chris is caught in the middle. I should have found a way to make up with them both at once. I didn’t think it’d take Riley this long. I underestimated her stubborness.”

                “You underestimated her anger and her pain, is what you did.” Is Alex’s unhelpful rejoinder. She and Raph have been married way too long.

                “I’m loosing my touch.” Luci leans his head back,staring up at the ceiling. “That’s all there is to it. I’ve been actively trying not to be manipulative or decietful to get what I want, because that’s bad and not the way to treat people you love, Dad. And now I can’t do it right when I try. It’s like half my personality has atrophied. But still all this pussyfooting around and doing my best for them and it is still never fucking good enough, is it?”

                “Not all the time, no. None of us are. They do love you anyways, though.You’re just all caught up in each others imperfections right now. There’ no need to just despair and resign yourself to utter hopelessness, convinced of the futility of tryingnot to be a monster just because you were a little too successful in alienating your loved ones for your previous plan.” Alex takes her bottle of water and takes a sip. Luci gives her an unsettlingly threatening look, “Okay, I’m going to remind you that you don’t have to be here, and neither do I. I am an opinion giver and a tool provider, that’s all. What do you want here, Luci?”

                  “To not be over there while they hate me. I don’t need that. And for them to suck it up and love me agian. We both know what wonderful worthy thoughts those are.”

Luci sighs rolling his eyes.

                “Natural selfish human thoughts, no more no less.” Alex as always is living dangerously. “But you know you ahve not right to demand their forgiveness and I know you damn well know they’re just angry and absolutely do love you. I’m sure you also know that staying here and not in your own home is not going to help matters with any of them, least of all Riley.”

                 “What about Michael?”

                 “Fuck Michael, your kids are more important. Chis need you there and Riley needs to be angry at you with you putting up with it to a point. She doesn’t need you running off and abandoning them because you care about your comfort more than her heartbreak.  Look, a daughter’s relationship with her father is important. Especially now, especially when she’s going through these changes.”

                 “What are you talking about?” Luci sits up a little straigher.

                 “She got her period.” Alex sigh.

                 “They’re just barely ten!”  Luci exclaims. “Abigail only just got hers this year. Shelly read the books and decided to opt out of that whole nonsense, which I absolutely would do if I had the option or a kinder brother. You must be mistaken.”

                  “I’m not.”

                  “Did Riley talk to you about this?” Luci challenges.

                  “No, and I didn’t find any bloody sheets or bathrooms. She’s not having cramps or leaving bloody underwear in the sinks and no Raph didn’t tell me, and neither did I ask. He’s tired of every one getting mad at him for telling people what’s going on with their bodies. I just noticed they’ve started wearing looser shirts and this week my bathroom’s been excessively clean every time they’re over, though they usually leave it a mess, like you do. And I don’t believe for a moment that Riley’s being distant to Chris has anything to do with the fact Chris forgave you first. Plus, missing pads and tampons. And Riley would never treat Chris like that if it was Chris going through that change. She loves him too much to make him feel selfconcious about it in any way. So… I was debating whether to say anything to you. I mean, you are usually more observant than I am, and either you’d already know or it wasn’t the issue. Of course you are pretty self absorbed at times.”

                  “I’m not… I can’t hear anyone anymore, Alex.” Luci snaps. “Iu haven’t been able to hear things for years. I thought it didn’t matter. People are people, right.com The songs are all the same, nothing changed since the beginning so why would the details matter now? But they do and I have lost such a big part of who i am and you don’t even understand. You can’t. None of them can. I can’t use any of the skills I’ve developed and it almost never turns out right unless it’s with absolutely obviously terrible people.  All I can hear now is this material racket I used to be able to ignore. It’s pathetic.”

                  “Well, it’s not as if you were the greatest at listening in the first place. Whatever you heard, it wasn’t enough to make you understand Sam and Dean. “ Alex rests her head on her hand. Luci reprises his threateneing glare. “I’m not taking it back. You make up your own mind about things and that’s it. You hear nothing but what you want to hear.”

                  “Are you sure, because I’m hearing a hell of a lot of things I don’t want to hear right now.,”

                  “Look, just go talk to your child.” Alex sighs. “We’re kind of out of time. Anything past this point, I’m not keeping confidential. Besides everyone should be getting back here around now.”

                   “Wonderful.” Luci gets up and stretches. “You are absolutely useless. You know that right? I don’t know why I’m even talking to you.” He storms out slamming the door. Alex just sighs and slumps down in her chair. There’s a knock on the door.

                    “Ten minutes please.” She covers her face.

                   “It’s Michael.” He says.

                  “Oh, come in then, I guess.” ALex sighs and looks back as Michael comes into her office. “What’s up? How’s Ben?”

                  “Still in Shelly’s room. His Harahel went to talk to him and draw him out. We haven’t been able to find the demon or his father. I think we might have to extend the search to earth. We still don’t know exactly what happened. That irritating and disrespectful version of Harahel won’t tell us what happened beyond that mBen had been assaulted and in the course of events Mule ended up having to trade himself for his son and kicked Hara so the angel could go get help. Hopefully we can convince NBen to be a little more forthcoming, but we might need to talk to Helel if it’s an old demon. I’m hoping beyond hope that it’s not what I think it is.”

                   “What do you think it is?” Alex sits up as Michael closes the door behind him.

                   “I think it’s the greatest most powerful abomination Lucifer has ever created. Vast, concentrated and completely utterly loyal to Lucifer. They were cripped at Golgotha and when he tried to bring him back out near the end, father had destroyed him. AT least we thought he did. It’s likely he was just banished to hell.  If this is true we must keep them from Helel at all costs. And we cannot let Helel know they’re free, if they are.”

                   “Why?” Alex straightens up. “Because you think he’ll be tempted beyond his strength or you think he’ll be killed.” Alex quickly clarifies at the incredulous look Michael gives her, “Or worse?”

                     “Do I have to choose?” Michael’s bitter reply just makes Alex feel unbelievably angry, but she just gives a deep sigh and closes her eyes for a second.

                    “This has to stop Michael.” She straightens up. “You need to stop treating him this way. Every time he hurts you, you do this. When things are going well, he’s Helel but the second it’s not he’s suddnely Lucifer again and that’s how you treat him and he has been begging you for well over a decade to just try and see him as Luci. It’s not good for you, it’s not good for your marriage and it’s not good for him. If you don’t take this seriously, you are going to destroy your family. And I won’t be able to support your relationship anymore, not to anyone.”

                     “Excuse me?” For some reason Alex gets the feeling that Michael ismore taken aback by the implication that he would be to blame for the relationship failing than at the thought of it failing. Though he does look more than a little hurt at her words.

                      “You know I love you, right?” Alex pleads and stands up. Michael just crosses his arms. “But the way things are, if you’re right to view him as being on the edge of complete and utter relapse and as someone who should be viewed with suspicion, then it’s not good for you to be in a relationship with him. If you’re wrong, then it’s not good for him to be with you. Because Luci is not some hair trigger Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde. He is literally neither Angel or Devil right now, he’s just Luci. And Luci is struggling and hurting and needs to you see that.”

                      “I know he’s hurting, but exactly how much am I supposed to overlook?”

                      “A hell of a lot more than you are! I understand there is still so much hurt for each of you and ever new one strikes an old one, but you are married to each other. You made proimises to each other deeper than are required for any other union or partnership and you knew it would be hard when you did. Luci knew more than you did how hard, but you swore that you would put in the effort to heal together. You aren’t holding up your side of the bargain, Michael. Weither or not he is or isn’t, whether I’m fooled or not about how he feels or how much he’s trying, I can at least trust that you’re being honest and straight forwards. Noiw you either need to admit to yourself that your marriaage and ever our very assessment of who he is was mistake and end this relationship, or you need to step it up and do what you need to do to fix this.

                       “I don’t care about him or what he needs to do or is doing. It doens’t even matter at this point. It’s either shape up or ship out, live up to your word, or admit that you never can.  You deserve better than this minefeild you keep seeing, that your children are going to have to mjanuever through more than you two are. just… excuse me.” Alex gets up and walks past him out of the office over to where her husband and sister in law are silently waiting. “I need to go somewhere.” She informs Raphael who nods and gently embraces her.

                          “ I’ll be back shortly, Bree.” Raphael looks to his sister. “Will you push back her appointments?”

                     “Sure.” She nods as they vanish, and goes after the hidden stash of Angel Bait she knows is there somewhere. “You know she’s right Miqa.” Gabriel has to say, as Michael comes out of Alex’s office. She’s ignored.

                      “Where did they go?” He frowns, and looks around. “Is Alex alright?”

                     “She will be. she just reached emotional overload a little earlier than usual. Like I knew she would but no she insisted she could handle the big ball of fucked up that is Luci on top of her already massive work load. I mean, she already added in Tano which is just insane. I told her she needs to shift to teaching a few angels like Zuriel basic counceling, but she’s not wiling to cut anyone loose who needs her. She’ll be okay. It’s what she needs. Finally.” She fishes out a large tin from on top of the cabinets. Michael just takes it away from her.

                         “Stop stealing their food.”

                         “Awwwwww.”

                         “You don’t even need to eat right now, Gabriel.” He scolds her.

                         “But it’s so Yummy.” She protests, eying the tub of Angel bait.

                         “This isn’t for you, it’s for the girls downstairs. In fact I’m going to take it to them right now so you dont’ eat it all the second I turn my back.” Michael informs her and walks out, taking his time to head down to the basement. Gabriel immediately walks back to where Luci’s wrapped up in the covers again. “Luce…”

                          “Shut up. I’m not in the mood.” Is the muffled reply.

                        “So, you know that creepy horrifying monstrosity you made back in the war?” Gabriel starts casually, choosing to ignore him.

                         “You’ll have to be more specific.”

                         “That giant demonic rat king you called Legion?” Gabriel leans against the door.               

                         “What ?” Luci immediately peeks out of the covers.

                         “Well, at least that what it sounds like so far.” She looks her brother in the eye. “But the old one was destroyed or crippled in Golgotha then one was killed by Dad wasn’t it?”

                         “Not exactly that was just a small part of them out scouthing, the rest of them was confined to the boundaries. What was Ben doing in the boundaries of hell?”

                          “Same thing you were, being rebellious. But the holdy fire keeps the demons contained now. We didn’t even know Legion still existed, much less that he was in the boundaries. Of course, we didn’t know Ben was going there either. He made a cute little gazeebo, covered the ground with snow drops. Experimenting with his powers, I guess. He was mad as hell at other you and still just did something adorably sweet and innoccent.”

                            “He probably takes more after his father then.” Luci rolls his eyes breifly, though there’s a bit of fear not as well hidden as he’d probably like it to be. “Where’s Ben now?”

                            “Shelly’s room,. He’s unharmed but not okay. We can’t get any details on that.” 

                            “They must have been starving.” Luci says quietly. “No, no legion wouldn’t hurt Ben. They need him, Especially with me in my current state.” Luci frowns, deep in thought, then winces.  “Mule is a soldier, isn’t he?”

                             “I think he’s a veteran, yes. Why?”

                             “Well, then Legion is definitely not still in hell.” Luci takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “I’m taking a shower.” He announces and gets out of bed. “Make sure they wait for me before you interrogate the kid.”

                              “Right. Oh, and as fun as this has been.” Gabriel snaps her fingers, changing his brother back into a (barely) adult body, though not his clothes. “I’ll see you later.” Luci just swallows a few curses and peels the tight ripping fabic off of himself.


	57. Family meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci is forced to face and lay bare a part of his past.

                  “So he wants us to wait for him?” Dean frowns, taking a beer out of Michael’s fridge which Castiel immediately takes from him. “Cas, I swear to god if you keep taking my beers… I gave you a few decades back too you know.” He reminds Castiel as if that helps anything at all.

                   “I know.” His boyfriend replies coldly and walks away. “I’ve registered you for school. You’ll be joining Abigail’s classes next quarter.”

                   “You what?”

                   “Abigail needs someone nearby to protect her and help her avoid trouble in school. Especially now that her friend’s been turned.  You were in favor of her attending public school and I can’t imagine any other reason for your choosing to stop at this particular age.”

                   “Really? Not even one?” Dean gives him a flirty grin which is ignored. “Seriously, though, you can’t just do stuff like that. You didn’t even ask me.”

                   “My apologies, Dean. I thought that unilaterally making extreme life altering decisions for each other is what we were doing now.” The cool reply, that does not sound like an actual apology at all, makes Sam and Gabriel grin, much to Dean’s annoyance. He just reaches up and takes the beer can back from Castiel who very much lets him..

                    “Alright, Baby, you made your point, now stop it.”

                    “Aren’t you in AA?” Sam reminds him.

                    “Yeah, like thirty years from now.” Dean pops it open.

                    “It’s non-alcoholic.” Raphael informs Sam as Dean doesn’t seem as if he’s going to. “Michael decided against allowing intoxicants around the children thanks to the last group picnic at the school.” He finishes joining  and rearranging the two living rooms for the family meeting. “Thank you all for coming here. I wanted to stay near Abigail and her friends.”

                     “He’d probably feel more comfortable here, too.” Sam sits down on the love seat next to his wife. “Now, remember, we don’t want him to think he’s in trouble.” He says this pointedly staring at his brother as Dean sips the non-alcoholic beer.

                     “But he’s definitely absolutely in trouble, right?” Dean walks over to the good recliner at the head of the circle and plops down. “I mean, the kid had a fight with mom so he set up camp in hell and was consorting with demons. I kind of think you at least get grounded for something like that right? He seems like the kind of kid that wouldn’t just ignore that like our little nephilim. Or am I was off base here?” He looks around at the others as if he knows he’s right. Which he isn’t.

                    “No.” Raphael says, sitting on a chair next to his little sister. “He’s not in trouble. I was at fault. I allowed him his space and secured the area once I knew about it. I didn’t expect a demon to get past the seals. If Ben had removed them himself, I’d have known instantly. It was a large error on my part, but I was trying to treat him with trust and respect his independence as I do Abigail. I will be taking full responsibility for this when we return him to his parents..” The angel says gravely.

                    “It’s okay, Raph.” Gabriel reaches over and pats his shoulder. “You were bound to fuck up some day at least it wasn’t with your own kid.” This earns her an irritated glare from her elder brother, to which she response with bouncing up to gibe him a kiss on the nose.

                  “Where’s Alex?” Dean asks. “Still working?”

                  “She’s decompressing. Did you take care of her appointments?” Raphael looks to his sister who gives him a thumbs up.

                  “I pushes everything back a week.” Gabriel reassures him. “Where is that angel anyways?” I didn’t think it’d take him this long to get Ben.. oh, well here they are, and now to find out where the hell Michael went to.”

                  “He’s dropping off the twins. They were invited to a birthday party Alice is helping to chaperone at school this morning. Their father’s been working hard to get them more involved with other children.”

                  “Not other children, hunter’s children.” Luci finally emerges from the bathroom, towling his hair off in a pair of Alex’s silk pajama sets.” And good hunter’s children. This weekend is the Andersons. Their son is a disappointment and will get himself killed on the first hunt most likely, but their daughter… now she’s a good person to know.” Luci walks over to Dean. “That’s Michael’s chair.” 

                  “Ask me if I care.”

                  “I’m telling you to care.” She looks at him cooly.

                 “Dean…” Sam gives him a pleading look.

                 “I’m not getting out of the damn…” Dean struggles awkwardly not to fall or drop the beer as Luci bends over and tips the chair over on it’s side. It doesn’t help and just ends with him being dumped out and spilling his beer. “What the hell?”

                 “I told you.” Luci sits down in it himself. “It’s Michael’s chair.”

                 “Listen you little…”

                 “Aww,” They hear as Castiel snaps Dean and the floor clean and tries to gently lead him away. “You’re not tiny anymore.” Shelly complains as she sees her uncle in a fully grown legal to drink twenty one year old body..

                 “No, I’m not. One of my siblings still loves me apparently.” Luci smacks Gabriel a kiss. “You couldn’t have made me a little older, though? I look like I gave birth at eleven like this.” He complains, because of course he does. Meanwhile Ben is just sitting silent and pale on a chair with Shelly and Harahel protectively beside him. Luci can read the guilt and confusion in his eyes, though he’s keeping most of it off hid faces.

                 “Jesus, mom. You ruin everything.” Shelly gives a huff and sits down on the arm of Ben’s  chair. “ I was almost about to get Riley to play dress up,t oo.”

                 “The fact that you’d have to convince them says you weren’t.” Luci responds. “But thanks for trying, Shelly belly.”

                 “You’re welcome, Unky wunkie.” She gives a bow. “Is everyone here? Where’s Auntie Miqa?”

                  “He’ll be here shortly.” Her father informs her.

                  “I can’t believe we even need a meeting for this at all, really.” Shelly complains. “It’s just a demon. We find it, we gank it, alls well.” Luci doesn’t miss the conflicted look of distress that briefly crosses Ben’s face, either. Legion was an excellent sycophant at times. A troubled thirteen year old boy has no chance at seeing through that.”

                  “It’s currently occupying Ben’s father, Michelle.” Sam gently informs her.

                  “And Legion’s not just a demon. Legion is six thousand souls combined into one semi unified force.” Gabriel continues, that’s why they’re called Legion.”

                  “The fuck, Luci.” Dean turns to him as if he’s forgotten Luci was the devil, which Luci knows is not the damn case.

                  “Hey, that was my emo phase, okay? I did a lot of things I’m not proud of. Well that I regret at least.” Luci corrects himself, “You have to admit alot of it was fairly impressive.”

                   “Your emo phase? Becoming the devil…” Dean does seem irritatingly like Michael at time. Luci just shrugs and crosses his arms.

                   “We’re waiting for Michael, remember?” He reminds the hunter. “No need to get into that now.”

                   “Do they change size and age all the time or is this just…” Harahel asks Raphael as the only adult in the room he’s really care to speak to.

                    “This is not common, no. It’s simply.. are you familiar with the phrase, it never rains but it pours?”

                    “Yes. And there’s only a hundred and fourty seven souls in Legion not thousands.” Harahel corrects the other angels as Gabriel gives Raphael a significant look, and a nudge. Raphael just holds a hand up for a second indicating to talk later.

                    “No. Legions’ been in hell, so the amount of souls within him should be around Five Thousand. Though half of them will be useless except as sheilds even if he did get a boost from Junior.”

                     “Oh, well… there are only a hundred and fourty seven now.” Harahel looks down at his hands a bit bashfully. “I didn’t know smiting worked so well on demons.”

                    “You… smote over five thousands of them at once?” Sam straightens up and his wife gives Raphael a light shove.

                    “Stop it.” 

                    “I don’t know, but there are only a hundred and fourty seven of them left.” Harahel doesn’t really have the strength to look anyone in the eye for some reason. “I lost my temper so I didn’t asses what was there first.”

                    “Well that explains alot.” Gabriel nudges Raphael again. He just gives an exasperated sigh and nods.

                    “I did notice, Gabriel. We’ll be back shortly. Tell Michael I’m making sure, the other librarian doesn’t snuff himself out next time.” Raphael walks over to Harahel. “Let’s get you a little more energy and some quick instruction on when to stop smiting.” It takes a smile and nudge from Ben to get his angel to go.

                    “He didn’t really..” Luci looks to Gabriel.

                    “I kind of believe it. He’s ridiculously dim right now. He’s not connected to our heaven and he’d have to be protecting his baby to put such reckless disregard into it. I’d be surprised if he has a weeks worth of grace left. Why do you think I was punching Raph?”

                     “He can’t possibly be right about there being only a hundred something. It can be difficult to tell, they’re so smooshed together and I doubt he has all that much experience with souls. I hope for the vessel’s sake Hara’s right, though. I’m fairly sure he can make it up through her ranks in a decent amount of time if there are that few left.” Luci considers, looking up as Michael finally appears. “I saved you your seat.” He informs the angel who just flat out ignores him and sits on the couch next to an incredibly uncomfortable Castiel. 

                     “What do you mean? Will he be okay?” Ben asks looking thrown of guad. Luci’s not even sure  if he’s asking about Hara or his father. Probably both.

                     “Well, while I know our Dam can over come the best of the best, Legion isn’t just one soul to wrestle control from, The only way he can take his body back is to defeat every single one of them. Or successfully stage a coupe, and that’s not going to happen. They’re all mindlessly loyal to the chain of command.” Luci shrugs. “Oh, don’t give me that look, you two.” He points to Michael. “As if you didn’t do or ignore horrific things in heaven to those who had a speck of independent thought. Don’t be mad be just because I knew how to make it stick.”

                    “Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say  What The Fuck!” Shelly exclaims, giving her uncle an incredulous look. Her parents just look at each other with acknowledgement of the inevitable realization their daughter is most likely finally going to have.

                    “I love you to pieces, Shelly Belly., but I honestly don’t think you ever really understood what my being the Devil really meant. I was in a bad place and blamed humanity. Besides which I just lashed out at everyone and everything with all the desperately self justified bigotry of a poor white supremacist.  But you know more of an ‘Angelic supremacist’.” He explains actually making the little quote signs. “When you think of something as less than yourself in any and every way, and also as the cause of all your problems you can pretty much excuse doing anything you want. And I did and I took out my pain and anger on the things that I thought replaces me in my father’s heart and were to blame for my disgrace, though it was really my own damn fault.”

                      “I understand all of that, Uncle.” Shelly starts,

                      “No, you don’t because you would never do the things I did. The feelings are relatable or understandable and excusable in and of themselves but they’re neither good excuses or justfication for any of the terrible things I did. I made myself believe they were. I did things I knew were wrong and excessive and cruel and hateful and selfish, no matter what I told others. I just didn’t care. I didn’t have to do any of the things I did. I did them because I chose to,because nothing mattered to me more than myself and how i felt. 

                       “Do you know why I convinced myself I made Legion.  Because I wanted a strong self sustained unit with power enough to immobilize any angel, so I could either convert them to my side or kill them without trouble. That meant they needed more freedom and flexibility than I gave most demons, but also more safe guards and intense ties to me. They needed to love me passionately and need me beyond reason. They needed to move as one, so I made them one. I made it painful for them to be apart, impossible to assimilate or possess anyone unless it was another soldier who gave consent. Do you know why I made them get consent? Both to limit their growth and to make it an extra fuck you to heaven to have every soul in that collective be a soul that actively chose to turn on them. The ones they were fighting for and rejected me for, would join me, the one who hated them beyond reason. They were the idea construct or as close to it as humanity could come in my eyes then.”

                    “Well… then… Why stop at one Legion if they were so great. and perfect, then.” Shelly demands, though the nephilim besides her grows more and more sullen and angry as Luci speaks. Luci takes a breath, feeling far more embarrassed about the callous things he’s said and is going to have to say in front of the children before him. Especially with Michael’s eyes on him, hardened and pitiless as if that’s still who he is right now.

                 “They were just so clingy and needy and suffocating and I never actually liked them in the first place. What I was trying to turn them into didn’t take away what they were, it just made me hate them more, because it wasn’t good enough. They were useful but just so much harder to handle. Not even abusing them was fun because they were just so hopelessly addicted to my presence that anything I did was better than nothing. It wasn’t even amusing after the first thousand years, just sad. So the only thing to reasonably do was just put them in storage as much as possible and leave them alone. Torture for them, less inconvenience for me. And really I just didn’t want to deal with that, not even with that Legion must less more than them. Besides, if things hadn’t gone to hell so much more quickly than I imagined, I would have taken him out near the end of the war to swing the balance. Honestly, I half considered just destroying them entirely but they were too useful to just disregard entirely.”   
                “The intensity of the glare Ben is giving him at this is too familiar, a little like Riley’s but it feels like his own. The sad part is that Ben’s anger is triggered by compassion and empathy and a core of goodness running deep within his inner being that’s going to be his downfall. Legion is going to consume and twist him with pity and excuses and blame, if he isn’t made to understand.

                   “All the excuses and sob stories in the world don’t make a dangerous cruel heartless being any less dangerous and deadly and deceitful, Ben.” He can’t help but reach out to him desperate for something he says to strike a chord. “I could make myself very sympathetic to almost anyone, but that didn’t make anything I did justified or anything but the worst evil. It didn’t make me reachable, because I didn’t want to change and a tragic past doesn’t make anything okay. Legion’s done a lot of things and not at my urging either.  They raped, tortured, murdered, not just soldiers, not just adults. they loved children in many ways for many reasons. Yes, you can blame me for the harm I inflicted upon them, but they were monsters before I made it obvious. each and every one of them. Legion has to be stopped and cannot be allowed to roam free on the earth.” Luci looks into Ben’s eyes. “They don’t care about you, Ben. All they want is access to your grace, because it’s like mine. And if I asked them to they’d rip it from your body and give it to me, no matter what they may have said to you, or promised you.”

                      “What would you know about them?” Ben stands up defiantly. “ Two thousand years of storage is a long time to be left alone with your thoughts, you know. To be starved and abandoned and to think about how they’ve been treated and who they really are. You all want to know what we talked about? We talked about how much we hate you and all versions of you!” He points accusingly at Luci. “Because the one thing that’s the same is that you’re a selfish self centered bastard with no real concern for anyone or anything but yourself , so FUCK YOU! FUCK ALL OF YOU!”  He vanishes.

                    “No, no, I got this.” Shelly goes after him.

                   “Trust me, she doesn’t.” Luci covers his face and leans forwards , resting his elbows on his knees.

                  “Still can’t help but tell partial truths I see.” Gabriel teases not succeeding in lightening the mood again. If Sam told her, if they even talked about that… nonsense that he shouldn’t even remember. 

                 “Oh fuck off, he didn’t need to hear the rest.” 

                  “What rest?” Michael demands, though he looks at Gabriel and is clearly not addressing Luci which is just fine by him.

                  “Seriously?” Gabriel raises an eyebrow at him. “You didn’t see it? At all? :Legion doesn’t remind you of anything? Not even slightly?”

                  “What in heaven and earth is that abomination supposed to remind me of?” Michael continues to ignore Luci and talk to their little siste, who Luci shoots a death glare at.

                   “A newly separated batch of fledglings, all mixed up and huddled together, almost inseperable. All loving and adoring and worshipful of everything new they see, especially us until we redirected it towards dad, some more successfully than others. Legion was Luci feeling homesick and missing his wittle baby bothers.” Luci just mouths Gabriel an instruction to go fuck herself. 

                     “What are you talking about? How is that.. no. It doesn’t matter. It’s just one more of your messes to clean up, and that’s all that matters.” Mikchael glances over to him.

                     “She’s speaking to me again, what joy.” Luci straightens up neither surprised or okay with the self righteous condemnation in Michael’s voice. “And you don’t have to. I’ll take care of this or die trying to.”

                     “No, you won’t.” Michael walks over to Luci and takes him by the arm, bringing him to one of the interrogation rooms in the basement. “You are going to stay here until this is resolved and I don’t care how easy it would be to escapre. If you know what’s good for you, you won’t even try.”

                     “You know that this isn’t okay, right?” Luci rubs his wrist. “As your husband or brother , this isn’t okay. At all.”

                    “It doesn’t matter. I can’t do anything else.”

                    “You could try trusting me a little.”

                    “I can’t. You never do as your told.” That Michael is falling back to that means there’s no point in further argument, but Luci can’t help but continue.

                    “I meant trust me to try and do what’s right.”

                    “I can’t do that either.” Michael sighs as he places the restraint around her angle. “I’m sorry. But she’s right. I can’t trust you the way you need to be trusted to heal is you’re sincere, and if you’re not… this is not a good relationship or a healthy one, for either of us. I was overly optimistic to think we could make it work. But you don’t have to worry. After this is over, I’ll file the divorce papers myself.”

                   “I really don’t think that’s what Alex was getting at, Michael.” Is all Luci can say.

                   “I know what she meant and I never said it was Alex.” Michael lies as badly as ever and disappears again. As if it isn’t obvious it was Ale just by what was said. No one would talk to Michael like that besides Alex. Well except of course for Luci himself and he sure as well wouldn’t have. He knows better.

                    Luci takes a breath and lies down on the cot, staring up at the ceiling. It doesn’t matter. He’ll just take the time to think of a plan. It won’t be easy rescuing Ben’s father. Who knows he might take control of them and give him a chance to eliminate Legion once and for all. After all maybe they didn’t notice Ben’s reactions to exactly what he was saying, but Luci did. He knows exactly what kind of thing upset Ben so much he couldn’t face anyone for days, and no creature who does a thing like that to a member of his family has the right to exist on either plane. 


	58. Loved but lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice and Riley have a little talk before disaster strikes   
> Momma Miqa looses it and grounds everybody.

       “Having a good time?” Alice asks as she hands the twins their slices of cake.

       “Eh, it’s okay.” Riley shrugs and brushes off the red roses onto Chris’ plate and takes his yellow ones. “At least they’re keeping their mouths shut about our parents for once.” Alice forces a smile at this and pat’s Riley’s head. “Where’s the bathroom.?”

        “Right inside, I’ll show you.” Chris offers hopefully.

        “No! I’m not a child. I can go to the bathroom by myself!”  Riley stands up and storms off to the house. Chris just looks down at this hands, his shoulders slumped at the rejection.

        “Hey, it’ll be okay. He’s just going through some things right now.”

        “I don’t know why he wants to go through them alone.”Chris looks so upset Alice has to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Will you go see if she’s okay?”

         “Sure sweetie. Try not to cause any havoc and mayhem while I’m gone.” Alice gives him a final kiss on the cheek, before heading into the house after Riley. “Riley?” She calls knocking on one closed door after another until she hears a sink running on the other side of a door. “Riley?”  She tries again. There’s no answer except for a brief pause in the splashing. “Are you using cold water? Hot water just makes it set.”

          “I know how to clean blood from things thank you.” Comes the cool reply.

          “Did you get any on your pants? I can run and get you another pair.”

          “No, the pads won’t stay put and the tampons aren’t enough and I’m just… I hate being a woman!” Her frustrated little exclamation is hardly unreasonable for one introduced to Aunt Flo at ten.

           “I remember my first period. I was early too. My mother thought I’d been raped or molested or even just fooling around with people to get it so early. She brought me to the doctor screaming at me to tell me who touched me and accusing me of being a whore or a slut and didn’t believe nothing happened even after the doctors did the rape kit and assured her that I was fine except for the fact I’d just been put through a gynecological exam at ten that I didn’t want and wasn’t prepared for and was crying my eyes out the whole time. Trust me the last thing you want mid period is someone shoving a metal speculum in there.”

            “Holy fuck.” Riley opens the door a crack.

            “She still doesn’t believe I wasn’t molested and blamed the non-existant rapist for my homosexuality. And the panic attacks I get everytime I had to go to the obgyn which she made me do every time my period was late. My mother… is not a good parent. You’ve got a couple great ones to be honest. I think you could talk about this to either one of them and neither of them would think badly of you or make you change anything.”

              “I know.” Riley closes the door again. “I’m going to look like I wet myself.”

              “Is there a blow dryer in there?”

              “It’s only a half ba...oh there it is.” Riley turns it on. “Thanks.”

              “Anytime.” Alice says gently. “Do you want to talk about anything? You know, girl talk?”

              “I’m a boy today, remember?” Riley says softly, a little bitterly.

              “You know what I mean.” Alice chides her and leans against the wall beside the door. “So biologically female to biologically female? I promise not to tell anyone anything you say to me if you promise never to tell Shelly about what I just told you. I think she might end up actually murdering my mother if you do.” 

               “Would that be such a bad thing?” Is Riley’s surprisingly protective reply. “She was terrible to you.”

               “Well, she’s still my mother.” Is all Alice can say to that. There’s a good bit of silence aside from the sound of Riley getting himself together. 

               “Okay.” Riley says quietly and opens the door.

               “I’ll just let Chris know so he doesn’t worry.” Alice heads back to where Chris is on the bench. Riley waits silently by the door, just watching Alice touch Chris’ shoulder. Chris looks hurt and upset but he just nods and turns back to pick at his cake without protest.  

               “I bet you’re surprised I’m the girl.” Riley looks away. “Or was it always obvious?”

               “Honestly, I had no idea.” Alice confesses, “Shelly just said she’d forgotten. You’re just Riley. And Chris is just Chris. Sometimes I didn’t even remember which of u you was which. “This gets a smile from Riley, albeit a brief one. “So when did it start? Is this the first one?”

                 “Yeah.” Riley hugs her arms to her chest. “I knew it was coming though. It really hurts.” 

                  “I bet. Your mo-, um, father seems to be kicked in the ovaries every time he gets his. Genetics can suck sometimes.”

                  “I can take it.” Riley stiffens and sits on a bench by a patch of trees. 

                  “You don’t have to, though.”

                  “I can take it.” Riley just repeats angrily and looks away.

                  “I never said you couldn’t. Do you just get cramps or is your chest all ache  too?” Alice gently rubs Riley’s back the way she’s seen Luci do when Riley’s upset. She can feel the fabric underneath the shirt. “Are those my ace bandages?”

                   “Maybe.”

                   “I kind of needed those yesterday at soccer practice. You should have asked me first.” Alice keeps her voice gentle. Riley just shrugs. “How long have they been an issue?”

                   “A month, I guess, maybe more.  I didn’t really notice them until after Dad left.” she runs her hands over her sore bound breasts. “It’s not really good enough. I can’t wear tank tops or go swimming anymore. They’re not that big or anything, they’re just obviously.. breasts.” Riley scowls  looking down.

                     “So.. you feel like you’re really a boy?”

                     “No, I dunno. Just… do I have to be a girl?” Riley’s voice trembles. “I don’t want to be a girl. Everyone treats me so much better when I’m a boy and now I can never get a break and it’s going to start being sexual in ways I’m not justified in killing them for. And I’m just not ready! I’m not!” Riley just bursts into tears, surprising Alice so much it takes a moment to comfort her.

                      “Oh, Riley.” She hugs the poor girl. “You’re ten, you are absolutely justified in murdering anyone who lays a hand on you sexually. Or at least crippling them.”

                     “Now. But I’ll be eleven soon and then twelve and then thirteen and I’m tall and am just going to be taller and if I ever go out in public again, It’ll just be open season. I don’t care if I can beat anyone who touches me or make a scene or.. or… I don’t know. I just… I’m not ready to be everyone’s preferred victim. I don’t want to be considered stupid or a liar or irrational or illogical or anything just because I’m a girl and I don’t want to have everything I like and care about mocked and called stupid and I just don’t want any of this. 

                      “Well, I mean, I know Abby’s got it worse because she’s black so they’re going to think she’s a criminal too.  But Abigail’s just so perfect and confident and strong and good. Shelly’s a nephilim and just knows she doesn’t have to worry about anything because she’s so powerful. I’m just… me. I’m not really strong or brave. I’m just a smart ass who knows mommy will protect us and half the time I’m just showing off for Chris because he’s special. He’s the only boy, or at least he was and I just don’t want him leaving me behind and now he will and no matter what he does he’ll be great and right and successful and Dad will love him best because he’s his son. He even loves Ben and Ben’s Uncle Sam’s son too kind of. Which sucks because he’s just so nice and pretty. Why are all my relatives so hot it’s ridiculous?”

                     “Wait.. you… do you think your father doesn’t love you? Or… or loves you less because you’re a girl? He doesn’t, and Chris would never leave you behind. He’s always racing to catch up with you, Riley. That’s how I know which one you are when I can tell. If you’re not side by side, you’re always a step ahead and Chris is always a step behind.”

                      “He wouldn’t do it on purpose.” Riley ignores the mention of his faher. “He’ll just be pushed up and up by everything that’ll be pushing me down. I’ve been on tumblr. It’s not just a ridiculous amount of erotic literature about the adults in my family, I know what’s waiting for me out there and I just… why do I have to be a girl? And why if I’m not a girl, do I have to be a boy? I hate being a girl and I hate that there are men and  hate being human. I’m everything he hates and I know that.” 

                     “Chris doesn’t hate you!” Alice tries to reassure her, shocked that Riley would even think that for a minute. Riley just looks away. “Oh, right. Your father doesnt’ hate you either. He is better and more considerate and more loving to you than any parent I’ve ever seen up close and personal like this. You think he hates you because of  being that little outburst he had? That… he was obviously freaking out over your safety. You were sitting in the lap of a newly turned Vampire. and it wasn’t even particularly harsh. Or is he on his best behavior because I’m here. Mom used to do things like that in public, play the loving perfect mother as much as she could, so I’d believe you if that’s how it was. Alice reassures her, rubbing her back some more.

                        “No,” Riley says softly. “He’s kind of been a little moody lately but it’s true. he doesn’t like humans. And he doesn’t like women. He hates being one. Even mom doesn’t want to be a woman obviously since giving birth wasn’t enough to make up for everything else. Dad’s only a woman as punishment. So Aunt Bree thinks it’s bad too.  Aunt Alex hates being a woman,she’s said so. so has Aunt Claire. Even Grandma. People just say ‘I hate being a woman’ like it’s just a normal thing to hate yourself. I know they’re just complaining about how women are treated, but I don’t want to be treated like that either. And it never gets any better, not really, and I just can’t…”

                        “Oh, Riley,” Alice sighs. “It seems like the end of the world and just overwhelming and like you’re not strong enough and you know, maybe you’re not. But that’s okay. You don’t have to be strong and brave and confident all the time because you have people who love and care about you who want to be your strength, courage, and bravery when you can’t be. They want it every bit as much as you want to be there then they’re in need. You have Chris. I have Shelly. You have Shelly too and Abigail and your aunts and uncles and mother and father. His mood has nothing to do with you. I promise you. It has nothing to do with not loving, or caring about you. He’s having his own problems right now. Just have a little faith and let the people who love you be there for you.Talk to Chris because he wants to be your support. If he could turn into a girl for you, he probably would just so you wouldn’t feel alone.”

                        “I don’t want that.” Riley sniffs, wiping her eyes with her sleeve. “I don’t want his life to be worse just to make me feel better. I’m not that selfish, but he won’t understand.”

                        “Maybe not, but he’ll still you and do what he can for you,no matter what you’re going through. If you think I understand Shelly and her problems half the time….” Alice shakes her head. “But there’s going to be someone who understands. Don’t keep it all inside and hidden away. You’ll just hurt more that way. Okay? And if you can’t talk to me, you can go talk to your Aunt Alex who’ll have to keep whatever you say between you even if you don’t have any dirt on her.” Alive tweaks Riley’s nose and hands her a napkin. Riley blows her nose and wipes her face off.

                     “It’s not something on you. It’s on your mother.” Riley looks back to the party. “Where’s Chris?”

                       “He’s at the.. where is he?” Alice and Riley run back to the table. “Mrs. Paulson? Where’d Chris go?”

                      “His uncle Sam came. He wanted to talk to him about something, privately. You know he looks good with a buzz cut.” the other chaperone looks over to Mrs. Casey. “ Janet?”

                       “Yeah, but I’m fairly sure someone’s head is going to roll for that. He looks pissed.” Mrs. Casey grins.

                       “What?” Riley scrunches her nose, there’s no way her Aunt Bree would do that or let it stay like that. “Where did they go?”

                       “Back to the bunker probably. They were headed that way at least.” Before Alice can do or say anything, Riley takes off running after them.

                        “Riley, Wait! Sorry, I have to..” Alice apologizes, motioning awkwardly after Riley.

                        “Don’t worry. Those two are the only reason we needed you to chaperone at all.” Mrs. Anderson waves her off.

                        “Thanks.” Alive takes off after Riley, as she can easily hear her calling her brother’s name.

                        “Chris!!” 

                        “What are you doing?”

                        “Didn’t you smell that?”

                        “What? The egg salad? I told them to bring it inside, but it’s not..” This just gets an irritated look from Riley exactly like one of her father’s.

                        “No, it’s not egg salad you … civilian. Uncle Sam does NOT wear his hair short, and he never takes Chris and not me unless we ask him to and not without letting us know. CHRIS.”

                        “Jeez, What is it Riley?” They come up on them as they near the edge of the forest. Chris looks annoyed. “So what , you can go off and talk to Alice but I can’t talk with Uncle Sam?” He puts his hands on his hips. The tall buzz cut Winchester is standing quietly beside him, and just seems a little off somehow to Alice. Not just the fact that he’s not greeting her with a friendly smile.

                        “You can talk to him later. They’re doing gifts we have to go back.” Riley pulls on Chris. “Alice, we have to go back, right?”

                         “Right. Unless it’s an emergency we really need to stay at the party, your father went to a lot of trouble for this Chris.” Alice places herself between them and the not Sam Winchester. She can’t do much but she can give them a few seconds to get away or a few seconds for their mother to get there. She wants to call Shelly, but she’s pregnant so hell no. What was her name Michael? Mika? Hopefully everyone . “Come on,” 

                         “What do you care about Dad?” Chris shoves Riley away, still too intent on fighting with his sister to realize this is not a good time or place. “You hate him now.”

                        “We don’t have time for this, We’ll take both of you.” The fake Sam shoves Alice aside and grabs the twins by the arms.

                         “Christo!” Alice shouts trying to get out her holy water mace in the brief moment he flinches. Sam drops Riley and with a small copper blade that appears in his hand, slices through Alice’s throat just as she sprays him in the face with it. Riley gives out what can only be called a war cry, grabbing the fake Sam’s arm and sinks her teeth into the wrists of the hand holding Chris. Fake Sam tries to shake her off, but ends up just tossing Chris.

                         “MOM!” Chris screams as he tries to pick himself up from where he fell. There’s a blast of heat heralding her arrival, dampened enough not to hurt the children. The fake Sam just grabs Riley’s hair and disappears with her. “Alice.. Alice!” Chris scrambles over to her as she falls to the ground, unable to keep herself from calling for Shelly this time.

                           “What happened? Where’s Riley? “Michael quickly lights down beside Alice, and heals her without effort, taking the time to give the trembling girl a comforting hand to the cheek. Before anyone can answer, another shriek heralds Shelly’s arrival.

                         “Oh my baby!” She throws herself on Alice, holding her tightly.

                         “You’re younger than me.” Alice replies automatically.

                         “Oh my darling, what happened? Who did this? I’ll kill them!” She almost crushes her emotionally unraveling girlfriend, who just holds her right back.  Chris reports to his mother, not a little upset himself.

                          “Michelle!” Michael calls his niece to attention. “Take Chris and Alive home and do not leave the apartment for anything. Where’s Ben?”

                           “In my room still, but…”

                           “Will you do as you’re told without question for once in your life!” He snaps angrily. The three of them become very silent very quickly. “I can’t hear her anymore.” He stops and covers his eyes taking a deep breath, the world around them drawn to a halt. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yet.” He apologizes to them, though they can see his hands are shaking. “Chris, I will find Riley, and I will save her and tear that creature apart soul by soul if I have to. Alice, thank you for taking care of them as best you could. Michelle, this is Legion. I would not make you fight a monster in your father’s body. Go home, please and inform your father or what he’s caused. Go.” Without a word, Shelly takes the two back to their apartment.

                            Ben paces around the room, pulling at his hair. It’s impossible not to believe, and yet he can’t. He can’t. Legion only ever kind and understanding and supportive of him and his feelings. All of them. They were just… trying to make Ben feel better. That’s all. that’s all there is to it. They made a mistake, but they meant well. They’re not what that fallen creature said they are. Legion cares about him. He needs him. And that’s not Legion’s fault, that’s hers. It can’t…. no….

                            “Ben Harahel Winchester, unseal this door at once!” The request is rendered obsolete as the paint cracks from the heat and falls off.  Shelly always uses the cheap paint. Ben opens the door anyways. “You told that abomination about my children?” the look on Michael’s face is terrifying.

                             “I…” Ben isn’t sure what to say. “Not.. anything bad. it was just… weird having siblings all of a sudden, I didn’t. I just needed to talk to someone…” But he knows that’s not an acceptable answer as he’s saying it.

                            “You told the DEMON HORDE who HATES their father BEYOND REASON about his two helpless human children and where to find them?” 

                            “I didn’t tell them where they were. And legion would never hurt them.They know better.” Ben stiffens. “I would never forgive them for that.”

                             “You arrogant, selfish, self centered little brat. Do you even think about what can happen to other people? Do you even care about the consequences of your actions? That creature has Riley and tries to take Chris as well and nearly killed Alice. If you know where they are you need to tell me right now!”

                              “I.. I don’t.. I’d tell you, but I just…  I don’t. They haven’t prayed to me or anything. But they won’t do anything to Riley. I know they won’t.” Ben insists, not really able to handle thinking otherwise.

                            “You don’t know anything. And I am not leaving you here to act on your ignorance again.” Michael snaps his fingers making a pair of bracelets, lockable almost like cuffs, appear in his hands

                            “What.” Ben backs away from them, though they’re already on him. The sigils look familiar as does the mildy suffocating feeling they give him.

                           “The only way to ground you and make you stay grounded.” He replies with surprising coldness.

                          “Michael! What the fuck are you doing?”Gabriel appears, and snatches them away from her elder sibling, much to his surprise. Aunt Bree would never have the nerve to do that. “Have you lost your mind? Did you seriously lock up Luci? Did you think for a second we might need his help with this?”

                          “Legion has Riley, and I can’t have these two interfering and making things even worse.” Michael asserts. Gabriel can’t help but think the feeling is slightly fair, though Ben doesn’t at all.

                           “Don’t. Okay? Don’t just… I know you’re upset and have a point, but this is not the way to do it. I’ll take him home. I’ll have his Hara take him across the border and close up the portal behind them, Alright? “

                            “I’m not leaving any of them here alone with you, you… violent maniac!” Ben asserts like the stupid thirteen year old son of lucifer he is.  Gabriel can’t help but wince at this. “You’ll just… murder them all without a thought won’t you?” he accuses, accurately but unhelpfully.”

                             “It wouldn’t be murder.” Michael’s response is equally unhelpful in the most typically Michael way that Gabriel thought he’d grown past.

                             “Michael, please. You know this is not the way to go about things.” Gabriel gives him a meaningful look, which just pisses him off. “Please.”

                              “I don’t have time for this.” Michael grabs Gabriel by the head. “I’ll let you all out when I have Riley.”

                              “Shit!” Gabriel scowls as Michael rips the bracelets from her hands and banishes her to the garden.

                              “You too?” Raphael looks up at her from his seat at the base of the tree as she gets her bearings.

                              “Yeah, me… What the hell? She grounded you, too?” Gabriel looks astonished to see her brother there.

                               “She stopped by heaven to make sure I wouldn’t let Helel out of the interrogation room. When Harahel and I both objected she grounded us both. Apparently grounding an angel from another dimension sends them back to their garden.”Raphael explains with a sigh and rests he head on his hand. “You objected too I take it.”

                              “Yes and no, but mostly I objected to Miqa shackling and tossing Ben in there as well.” Gabriel informs him. Raphael’s eyes just widen at this. “Yeah, Momma Miqa’s seeing red. Legion is fucking toast.”

                              “And the vessel they’re currently in?” Raphael reminds her.

                              “If they stay in just one.” Gabriel plops down beside him. “Wait… what?” It only takes a second longer than Raphael expected to realize what he just told her. She never pays attention.

                              “Exactly. She hasn’t been this angry since the first lost fledgling. It took Helel to calm her down and I don’t think he can now. Especially not without his grace.”

                              “Yes, well we’re not giving it back to him. Not now, not with Legion out here.” Gabriel’s assertion surprises Raphael. After all she was the one who spearheaded his rehabilitation.

                              “You think he’ll relapse.” Raphael concludes, a little pissed of. When the hell did he get to be his brother’s defender?

                              “I think we can’t risk it. You don’t think he’s ready for it either, to be honest.” She shoves his arm a little. “But I also don’t want him facing them without it. I just think chaining Luci in a cell is a little fucking much.”

                               “You don’t trust him at all.” Raphael’s accusation brings a slight bit of guilt to his sister’s face.

                               “I trust him to a point and he’s been going through a hard time both public and personal so I really just don’t feel like risking everything we’ve worked so hard for on a weak moment, right now. Besides, I’m pretty sure renewing their place as Luci’s devoted slave is not what they have in mind right now. Not when they have Ben to manipulate and control.” Gabriel reminds him and looks to the angel entering the garden. “Hey! Razzi!” She waves.

                             “Radziel.” Raphael corrects him as she motions the angel closer. The angel seems wisely reluctant.

                             “I know, Raph. Raz, I need you to do a little favor for me. Can you take my hubby a message for me? Oh, and my daughter, thanks.” Gabriel snaps up a couple scrolls. “Anything you want to say to Alex?”

                             “I can think of a few things, but they can wait until after. She’s having some down time with her sister, and Michael’s not exactly in a listening mood.” Raphael shakes his head. Gabriel gives a snort.

                            “Is she ever?”


	59. Prisoners of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci and Ben chafe at their imprisonment. Luci keeps trying to get through to Ben.  
> Ben goes to see his mother.

      “How do you get these off!” Ben rages, pulling at the cuffs as he paces around the cell. They’re lose enough not to chafe, but probably not enough to pull off.  The string of enochian curses he lets out is fairly impressive. Not a few of them are directed Michael’s way. Luci just stays silent until Ben plops down in one corner, head buried in his knees, totally not crying at all. Well, he’s certainly been there.

       “I see you’ve encountered Auntie Miqa in Mother bear mode.” Luci says gently after Ben’s don’t not-crying.

       “I encountered an asshole.” Ben retorts. Luci isn’t really inclined to disagree. When Michael’s in that state of mind, all you can really do is get out of the way. Well, Luci used to be able to calm her down. No, Helel used to be able to calm her down. Luci is often ignored, dismissed or condescended to. He can never strike the right chord with her anymore. Or with anyone for that matter. “I thought this one understood things. He was so nice and.. and now he’s just treating me like I’m some… dangerous criminal and it’s not fair.”

         “Yeah, Michael kind of goes from warm to scorching and endangering her babies is a sure way to bring out her inner berzerker. Look, she incredibly, terribly overreacted to this, but the best way to make her realize that on your part is to just practice your hurt pout and puppy eyes and just say nothing but  ‘Yes, Michael’ while maintaining that expression.”

          “Is that what you do?” Ben sounds rather scornful at the suggestion.

          “No,” Luci laughs. “For one, I’d never get away with it at this point. And secondly I have too much of a temper to let her just push me around like that without sending something right back. This pearl of wisdom I’m giving you is what Raphael does. He doesn’t do it intentionally or to consciously manipulate Michael, but you’re alot like Raph actually so you’d definitely be able to pull it off.”

           “So just silence except for absquience, little pouts and puppy eyes? Isn’t that just kind of… pusillanimous?” Ben crosses his arms, trying to look as if he’s not considering it which he really will. And he’s doing that cute things that kids do with the big words, that’s kind of adorable. And smart that he’s trying to gain respect from Luci with a display of intelligence. 

            “The word you’re looking for is efffective.” Luci corrects him. “Michael’s being a douche. That’s the best way to get her to realize and admit it herself. And don’t worry about your father; He’ll be okay. There are several arch angels and humans who would tear apart heaven and earth for the sake of any Samuel Winchester ever. He’s in good hands.”

             “I don’t want Legion killed either!”

             “Ben,” Luci keeps his voice gentle. “I understand that you care about them and want to save them, but you are not ready to do that yet.”

             “Of course I am! I’m a man, aren’t I? I can control them, and change them and take their pain away and make them better. And don’t say it can’t be done because you said that it happened to you. And if you can be saved then so can they!” Ben insists but glances down at his hands when Luci tries to meet his eyes.

             “You don’t have enough experience yet, Ben. And you’re not a man. You’re a man in training. And you aren’t trained yet. Legion… Legion is out of your league right now. “

              “What would you know about what it takes to save people?” Ben gives him a withering look. “What have you ever done except twist and destroy people? Have you ever felt any tenderness or love for anyone you’re not related to?  Have you ever shown anyone else compassion and kindness just for the sake of being kind and compassionate. And not to comply with your parole. Or make your loved ones happy. Or  to make yourself look good.” The accusation is a little more painful than Luci expected it to be. Of course that’s him in a nutshell, and it’s wonderful if Ben could see through him like Raphael does, but the simple truth is Ben doesn’t know him.  He’s angry and that anger’s been fed and he’s been turned against him like so many of the people that Luci had turned against his own father. This is ,  he doesn’t like to think too hard on things like this. It’s an opening to a never ending well of shame and guilt and pain that he just can’t afford.

               “Outside my family? I can’t really think of anything. But that doesn’t mean I can’t tell when someone’s being used, or when souls don’t want to be saved.” Luci stands up as Ben leans against a corner bracing himself. “I can’t believe for a minute that you believe that Legion would have anything to do with you at all if you didn’t have your mother’s grace running through your veins.” Ben doesn’t say anything and just grits his teeth pulling the bracelet on his left hand with all his strength until it comes free, scrapes half the skin off the outer knuckles of his right hand as he does so.

             “Of..” Ben catches his breath. “Of course , I do. They need me for the same reason they needed you, like you made them need you. If only because you made them love you with it. Maybe if they love me and I actually love them back,  I can use that to make them better people. I know they care about me, at least a little already.” 

             “And all the people that are being lost and killed because of them. Don’t they deserve better than torture or death? Or to be manipulated into being assimilated into them? That’s what they’re doing right now. Adding to their forces, gaining strength. and do you know who they go after? Veterans. Veterans betrayed abandoned and disillusioned with their country. I know because that’s what I taught him to do. I am to blame for their existence as they are but that doesn’t mean they’re suddenly something else. They use everything they have to get what they want or need, and if they’re no longer loyal to me, then the only one’s they are loyal to are themselves.” 

               Ben doesn’t even bother to reply to this. So Luci just watches as Ben takes a chair and starts smashing it against the concrete walls.  When one of the legs breaks loose, Ben rips it off the rest of the way by hand. Taking advantage of that nephilim strength apparently, of course it wasn’t really welded together that great either. Ben puts the rest of the chair down out of the way and kneels down on the floor, making a fist of his right hand. Luci debates trying to reach and grab the bar away, but there’s no way for him to do it, or even reach Ben with this chain on his leg.

              “Ben!” He raises his voice when the boy raises the metal chair leg, preparing to bring it down. “Are you really going to endanger thousands because you’re so arrogant as to think that you can do what your mother does, just through the sheer force of good intentions?” 

             For a brief second it looks as if Ben’s just going to hurl it at Luci’s head instead. At the very least he clearly wants to. Unfortunately, much to Luci’s disappointment, Ben just channels the force of that anger into breaking his hand. The pain just makes him curl up in himself a little as Luci gives a sigh and covers his eyes. As much of his mother’s side he has in him, he’s still very much a fucking Winchester. 

             “This… has nothing to do with my mother.” Ben does manage to retort. Which is a lie because if it was anything less than incredibly true, he wouldn’t have forced himself to say it in the amount of pain he has to be in right now.

             “Right now this has everything to do with your mother. Take it from someone who’s all too familiar with parental issues. At least your parent’s not actually perfect and right in all things.”

             “I don’t care what you have to say about anything. Do you understand that?” Ben slowly sits up, and throw the cuffs at Luci’s feet with his left hand.

             “Yes. Do you want me to teach you how to heal your hand?”Luci offers as Ben can’t seem to make himself move yet.

              “You can’t. You don’t have your grace.” He reminds Luci, who just gives him a smile. “Can you?”

              “Yes, I taught Shelly a few things and didn’t have my grace. Come here and listen to what I have to say and I’ll teach you.”

              “Teach me first.” Ben damands. Luci looks him over carefully. It’s a gamble. He is a Winchester so he won’t keep deals unless he has to. But he might be young enough to believe in death before dishonor, or something like that. Of course he does have a bit of pride.

               “Alright. Even though I know you’ll probably just take off the second your hands better, anyways.” Luci sighs.  Ben get’s the expected offended look much to his relief. “Hold up your left hand, fingers spread, not too close to the right, but near it.” He says gently, slowly, rhythmically. “Leave it there. Now close your eyes and think about the pain in your right hand. It’s hot like fire, but you’re a being of water, of ice. Let the cold spread out from the center of your palm, calming, soothing, numbing each nerve caressing an protecting them. Your hand is there but that’s all you can feel. Take your left hand and place it against the right, hold them in front of you like a prayer. You feel the cold on your left hand. It’s the surface of a frozen mirror. But the reflection’s wrong. Slowly the reflection opens and presses against het left hand. Look at it. See how it’s the same but opposite. Feel each tendon, each sinew each patch of skin, the soft expanses, the wrinkles knuckles, the smooth delicate tips. Slowly the reflection becomes the same, back front, side. The warmth of your touch seeps slowly, gently into the mirror, the warm peaceful sensation spreading. Mirror image, mirror feeling. When the cold has disappeared, open your eyes.”

                 The pleased almost astonished look on Ben’s face when he sees his healed right hand.  The fact that it even has the identical scrapes as the left makes Luci smile a little despite himself. Now to find out exactly where Ben is right now.

                   “Alright. Say what you want.” Ben’s face quickly goes back to the stern look children always make when trying to be serious or taken seriously.

                   “Your mother loves you, Ben. maybe she works too much,maybe she seems too hard on you, maybe she actually is. But she loves you and cares about you and is trying her best. She only wants the best for you and is trying like hell to make sure you get it. Do you know how much work Gabriel had to do to keep heaven in hand and make sure no one decided to take Michelle out before she grew to become a monster like so many other nephilim did? And she had Michael and Raphael, fully powered, backing her up. Alot. And your mother has to deal not only with that, but she had to do it by herself. Mostly because she’s a stubborn prideful idiot and won’t ask your Uncle Raphael for further help. Though I’m sure she’s very well aware of who it was that made sure no one touched a hair on your head before she was resurrected.” 

                      “They hate each other. Why would mom ask him for anything. And I sincerely doubt my Uncle did much more than stop Aunt Bree from doing something too inappropriate or hillarious.”

                       “That in and of itself probably saved you years of therapy when you’re older.” Luci suppresses a grin.

                       “It wasn’t for my sake though, it was for hers. He doesn’t even speak to me.” Ben points out.

                       “It’s complicated, but the truth remains that she’s a stubborn prideful idiot. She’s me, somehow, with all my flaws and shortcomings and yet somehow, somehow she’s as good as I am bad. You can tell yourself she’s being an unreasonable jerk because she's just as unreasonable as you think, so it’s fine to be upset about that. However, if you want to save Legion, then your best bet is to go to your mother and ask her for her help and advice.”

                         “She won’t help. She’ll just try to destroy him and save my father and Riley and no one else.” Ben hugs his arms to his chest. 

                         “I’m sorry. What did you just say?”

                         “Maybe if I could get him to move into a different vessel first.... I mean you know you don’t need to worry, right? They’re not actually in danger. Legion would never hurt either of them. They know I love them.”

                          “What is Riley doing with Legion, Ben.” Luci uses all his strength not to strangle the child standing before him. No wonder Michael lost her mind like that with this.... Mini Helel. 

                           “They’re scared.” Ben defends his new pets, “ Harahel nearly destroyed them. They’re just…”

                         “Did you even consider, for one moment, that if a sweet compassionate empathetic angel like HARAHEL decided that something was so vile it must be destroyed to the point of almost snuffing themselves out in the process that MAYBE. JUST MAYBE… give me a moment. Please.”  Luci takes a deep breath. “Okay, scratch that. I know why Harahel was that mad. You know why Harahel was that mad and if you had better hope Michael does not have that same reason to be angry when she finds them or, well… there will be no saving your father.”

       “And you what, expect me to think you care about any of them?” Ben stiffens challenging the implied idea that Luci might not want Legion destroyed at any expense.

       “Pshh, no. I’m worried about Michael and Riley not Legion!” Luci corrects him, “Even if Legion won’t harm my child in any way, Riley will be scarred for life.  And Momma Miqa will be so single mindedly focused on saving Riley there will be a lot of collateral damage.  When She calms down she won’t be able to handle that very well. And of course, innocent people and property damages.... Riley doesn’t need to see that. “ Ben just looks at Luci. But there’s no hint in his eyes that he doesn’t believe Luci’s Love for his spouse and child. Usually Luci has to out out what an incredible disadvantage lying about a thing would be in order to be believed. While it was just a matter of course when he actually was being misleading or outright lying, now that he’s actively trying to so neither as much as he can, it’s endlessly frustrating and depression.

        “You want me to let you out, don’t you.” Ben turns cold, refusing to believe there’s not also some ulterior motive. So much for being believed. Those Ben's not wrong. the added motive is to try and talk some sense into Ben to get Riley away from Legion before Michael finds them. Luci feels almost as proud as he did disappointed.

        “I can’t say I don’t, but I wanted you to go get Alex and tell her what’s going on and bring her to Michael. Legion’s good at hiding. I taught them how, but it can’t last forever so please? At least do that, if you won’t go get help from your mother,” Luci pleads. Ben doesn’t say anything, he just disappears. It’s a crap shoot, Luci knows it, but maybe he got through to him, even just a little. Legion will fuck themselves over soon enough. They don’t understand what they’re dealing with. 

      He’s a good kid, just stupid and His stupidity and his father’s stupidity has let his little Riley get into the hands of a demon who now hates him more than anything. Hopefully they’ll just try to convert Riley against him like they think they did with Ben. Hopefully Riley is at least clever enough to play along.

  
  


     Ben looks up at the house. Raphael didn’t answer, Gabriel didn’t answer and neither did the other Castiel. He couldn’t bring himself to call for Harahel. But what can he do? Who else would he talk to? Not his sister, legion got scared and hurt Alice, so Michelle would probably share her aunts opinion on what to do. He can’t talk to Abigail. He wants to talk to her, but what can he say? He doubt she’d feel any more sanguine about Riley being with Legion or his visiting Legion on anything …

         “Ben?” He looks over to see his Aunt Bree walking over, a large sleeping bag in hand. “Welcome home. Sorry you had to come back to this.” She motions up to the frozen windows 

        “Is.. Is my mother upstairs?” Ben asks looking at them, too.

       “Yeah, She’s upstairs in her and your father’s bed,“ Bree nods “I’m going up to see what I can do. If anything. Are you okay?”

        “Can I go with you?” Ben asks so softly she can barely hear him.

        “How are you with the cold?” She jokes before remembering he’s great with it  “Never mind, c’mon cutie, I’ve missed you.”

      “Did you know that you and Dad are married over there?” He would of course ask that 

       “Yeah and they had an adorable little girl. Sherry? Kelly? Something ‘y’. She was adorably obnoxious and bossy. What’s she like now?”

        “ Tall, obnoxious, flamboyant, over dramatic, overbearing, over protective mostly of her cousin, a little bitchy, and a lot pregnant. But she’s kind of my sister so she’s alright I guess “ he shrugs. Bree grins, she sounds a lot like Helel to be honest. Well, Helel as described by Raphael, minus the ‘she’s alright’.

        “She pretty?”

        “Like a damn supermodel. She’s so bossy. I swear it’s like she took all of the faults in the world, leaving none for Abigail. Making it okay I guess “

         “You’re just wonderful, I swear.” She gives her nephew a squeeze of the arm. “Wait… Abigail…. Oh right that’s the baby I… so how is she? Life’s hard without a mother, as you know, but she has her dad ”

          “What are you talking about? She has a mother. Mrs. Jones works from home, actually. She’s kind of a therapist for the supernatural. I think  she’s even counseling the other use Uncle Michael. Hara wants her to council me but I … I don’t want to anymore.” Ben hugs his arms to his chest, as they head up the stairs.

         “Hey… Really, Ben, is everything okay?” Bree’s as concerned as she is glad to change the subject.

        “Do you think I could see my mother alone first?” He asks if he didn’t hear her question.

        “You know you can talk to me, right? No judgment, maybe a few inappropriate jokes that’ll be even funnier because they go right over your head and you get that annoyed look that's so cute. Or you know, no jokes if you’re really….” She backtracks a little when he just looks at her.

       “Can I please see my mother alone?” He repeats softly.

       “Okay,” His Aunt Bree nudges him. “I’ll just… Wait here “ she leans against the railing as she opens the door. She can see the glimpse of a large green stone in Ariel’s hands. The angel looks as if she’s going to cry  *What’s wrong?” Bree goes to the door. “What is that?” Ariel just walks over and shuts the door behind Ben, locking her out.

      “What is that?” Ben reaches out to touch it. It feels like his uncle Raphael. Or more accurately like Abigail’s father.  He never really got close enough to to Uncle Raphael to know him as well as he knows Abigail’s father. He’s wondering if maybe he should.  The scrapes on his knuckles heal as he touches it, the same warm feeling.

        “This is your Uncle Raphael’s Grace “ Ariel says quietly looking at it. “He went to Azrael and asked her to… help him rest. But he first entrapped His grace in this jadeite so that… So that I could use it to heal what I can’t on my own.” Two large opal tears leak from her eyes solidifying as they fall to the ground. “I’ve tried, but I can’t… excuse me,“ she turns away, taking her fallen tears with her as she slips into the either.

     “It’s alright, this is probably the only way I can actually talk to her “ Ben comments looking down at his mother’s still frozen farm. “Hi. “ he says not sure what to say. It’s so… strange seeing her like this. Ben just sits down on the edge of the bed by her stomach, looking down at his hands 

        “So, um, everyone’s been fairly nice to me. Mostly. Things are kind of a big cluster fuck right now. Pardon the language. It… I almost wish you were okay and could just fix everything because you absolutely could, but you wouldn’t. You’d just let me know what a stupid kid I am without actually saying it outright. It’s always just implied like the fact I’m not good enough and not worth losing you like everyone else did, except Hara. And now I just… I just don’t know what to do right now. I’m angry and confused. I don’t know what to think, what to feel or even how I feel really and the one thing I believe, everyone's telling me is wrong, but it can’t be. I hate you because you just make me feel so bad about myself but I love you because you’re my mommy … My mother and I’m just angry all the time and I don’t want to be and I want to do the right thing but I don’t even know what that is anymore.

        “I know they won‘t hurt Riley. They wouldn’t. Because they need me and I love my little brother and sister and Riley’s just ten, just a little kid. It’s not their fault they’re parent’s the devil. And did so many horrible terrible things especially to Legion. It’s not their fault they’re that way. I know they’re not all bad, they can’t be. They were so kind to me and understanding and made me feel so good about myself and…. And they were just trying to make me feel better, that’s all. I thought Harahel had died and I was so upset and they just… I… I just don’t know. I don’t. I mean I must have done or said something that made them think it was okay and I mean, I must have wanted it right?  I mean I… I… it was just a misunderstanding. I can’t.  “ Ben stops, trying to control His breathing. Everything is just so overwhelming. 

         He wants his mother, but, he wants the mother he felt so close to when Harahel had him pray to her about his day every night before bed. He wants the one Harahel told him about. The one who just smiled and said it was alright whenever a mistake was made. The one who was all kindness and smiles to all the angels, knowing each and every one of them by name. The one who was always there when someone needed her. The understanding, benevolent, all knowing, merciful, forgiving angel adored by all humans and angels alike. 

           But he couldn't exactly live up to that one either. Even though he’s her son he can’t be as wonderful as she is or as good or smart or talented or powerful no matter what Legion said. Just because she clearly expected him to be everything wonderful it’s not His mother’s fault that he’s not even close to it.

         “Maybe I really am just another one of purgatory’s monsters and I’m going there because I always was and will be.” He brings his arm up to his face, to wipe his eyes on his sleeve as he grips tightly onto the mattress. Something cold touches the side of His hand. As he slowly looks down, he can see his mother’s hand inching itself on top of his. Her eyes are still closed but she’s breathing heavily with the effort, crying tears of ice that are just like his, but with black streaks. 

      “Oh mommy I’m sorry.” He lies down beside her, wrapping her arm around him as he curls up unto her like he used to do with Hara when he was little. How he always wanted to do with her. “ I just wanted to… to save them and now Dad and Riley might both be in trouble, but they’re not, they can’t be, and I just want somebody to make it all okay. You can, I know you can. Oh please won’t you just make everything okay?” Helel just tightens her grip on her son and makes every effort to speak to him only to give a whispered ‘I’m sorry’.


	60. Fatherly Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci talks with Chris  
> Mule makes a drastic very  
> Winchester like Decision.  
> Luci enlists help and challenges Ben.

      Luci slowly works at the lock. The protective wards were the hardest part to undo. The door starts to open just as he unlocks the shackle.     

     “Dad?” He looks up to see Chris standing in the doorway, pale with blood on his clothes. “Your bleeding.” The sentence confuses Luci for a moment before he remembers his hand.

     “I’m fine. Is that your blood?” Luci’s fairy sure it’s not as it looks more like it’s soaked in than seeping out. As Chris looks down at his shirt, his father takes the opportunity to wrap up his palm with one of the prices of his undershirt. “Chris, are you hurt?”   

      " No.” Chris walks over and sits down in front of him, legs askew. “This demon in the fake uncle sam cut Alice’s throat. She’s okay. Mom saved her.” The way he stops talking makes it feels like an incomplete sentence. Luci reaches out to touch his cheek. He doesn’t seem to want a hug yet.

       “It’s still hard, when you’re not used to seeing people get hurt like that.”

       “It took Riley. It was trying to take me but she and Alice attacked him and saved me.” Chris says even quieter. “Mom’s looking for them, but its been hours and she’s not back yet.” He wipes his eyes.

        “Hey,” Luci leans forward to kiss the tears away. “It’s okay. It’s just that legion will be very hard to find. They know how to hide so it might take your mother a while, but she’ll find them. And don’t worry about Riley, she’ll be fine. Ben loves the both of you very much and that demon, he needs Ben a great deal and he’s too smart to risk that by hurting either one of you.”

      “But Alice…” Chris protests reasonably.

       “Alice isn’t Ben’s sister. I know it doesn’t change the fact that Ben doesn’t want her or anybody else hurt either, but Legion doesn’t. Just like I didn’t and honestly still don’t as much as I should.” Luci explains, deciding to leave out that Ben still wants to save Legion. If Alice had actually died and stayed dead, it might be different. Not that he wished she had. Alice is good for Shelly and good with the twins and seems to be an all around good investment as far as abandoned children go. “And the truth is Ben still might forgive them for it.”

       “Shelly won’t.” Chris points out rather astutely.

       “Shelly is pregnant and needs to stay out of the fray.” Luci says sternly. “Go back upstairs and use your best sad face and pleading eyes to convince her to stay with you. Help Alice convince her to stay, because I know she’s already doing her best but she’s recovering from her first near death experience and needs to be taken care of and not trying to talk Shelly out of doing something stupid. Ask your uncles for help If they’re still available. Pray to your Uncle Cas at the very least and enlist his help.”

          “Okay “ Chris looks down at his hand as he takes something from his pocket. “ I found this for you “ he opens his hand to reveal the keys to the interrogation room’s door and shackles. Luci just gives him a weak smile.

        “It’s alright, Chris. Go put them back.” Luci caresses his cheek before taking back his hand.

        “No.” Chris frowns clenching his fist around it. “This isn’t okay. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. I don’t care what anyone says or who you used to be, this is wrong!”

        “Your mother is just protecting me. Yes, it’s absolutely the wrong way to go about it. But your mother’s in Momma Bear mode and more so than usual because we made the two if you ourselves. You should have a little more faith in your mother. ” He chides his child who’s frown turns into that scowl Michael gets except cuter and much less irritating.

         “I do have faith in mom. I know she’ll save Riley, but I have faith in you too. I know you’re not going to do anything stupid and I know you’re not going to do anything bad, either.  So you don’t have to be chained up or anything no matter what reason anybody says. And how can we prove it if you stay locked in here. I don’t care if mom’s mad. It’s not right and she needs you even if she's too mad to see it right now. I know she can save Riley without you, but she can save him faster with you.  And I don’t want her to be kidnapped any longer than she has to be. So take it,” Chris shoves it into his father’s hand

         “Chris,” Luci claps Chris’ hands between his own so the key never leaves it. “If you love me and have faith in me. Please trust me now when I tell you to take these keys and put it back. This is very important, do you understand me?”

         “Yes, Dad,” Chris says quietly.

        “I also want you to remember that this is entirely my fault. I’m the one who created that demon, those demons, Legion, in the first place. I am responsible for everything they have done and and will do. Me and me alone. If anyone says differently punch them in the nose.” Luci leans forward to touch noses with his son before kissing his for head. “Now, go on and get your Uncle Cas before Shelly does anything stupid.”

         “Yes, Dad.” He still looks like he’s going to cry so Luci just embraces him and holds him tight making sure to keep his hands high on Cris’s back and shoulders nowhere near his hands or pockets.

         “Don’t even think about it.” Luci smiles as Chris tries to slyly put the key in his pocket any ways. Chris pulls his hand back and puts the key in his own pocket again and returns to the hug. “I love you, Chris. Both of you. Do you have any idea what a miracle that is? That I could love two human children? It’s so hard to believe sometimes that I could care as fiercely for you as I do and love you more than anything. If anyone says differently, you cut their heart out and feed it to their cat..”

        “No, Dad.” Chris sounds amused and just holds tighter for a second.

        “I’ll see you when your mother gets back. Okay?” Luci let's go.

        “Okay. Are you hungry?” Chris asks remembering his father’s tendency not to eat anything.

        “I had lunch. But thank you “

        “I’ll bring you down dinner tonight.” Chris gets up and heads to the door.

        “Remember to close the door.” Luci reminds him sternly. “And lock it.” He adds. Chris scowls at him again. “I mean it Chris. If you don’t do as I say you are not going to want me out of here, understand?”

          “Fine!.” Chris slams the door shut and locks it just as loudly. “But I’m eating dinner with you “Chris yells through the glass. Luci just blows him a kiss, which is suddenly returned before Chris leaves.

       And of course now he has to stay put for a little bit to make sure Chris doesn’t see him leave. But first he needs to pay a visit to his uncle.

 

       Mule looks around the dark encampment of his mind. After so much struggling to try and regain control and this is where he ends up? One of several burning trash cans surrounded by homeless crippled veterans is only a few yards away from him. Some young, some old, some drinking, some smoking, snorting, shooting up. He remembers buying from a few in these homeless camps, hanging around, getting high, telling war stories. He brought coffee and donuts in the winter, cold beers in the summer, even after he got clean. He had felt more at home there than with his own family.

        

      It can’t be his memory, because he doesn’t know any of these people. Yet at the same time he does; broken, abandoned, traumatized, betrayed by god and country, some are older than old with bonfires and roasts, instead of cans of fire and food. All here, just endlessly waiting, for what? And will anyone even notice they’re gone? When this monster returns to hell, what then? Mule walks over to the nearest sanest looking one, a slightly older man in his sixties, A captain.

       “Sir, permission to speak, sir.”pHe asks respectfully.

       “Leave that sir shit at the door, son. We're all privates here.” He spits out some tobacco into the bin. Mule just remains standing to attention until the man gives a grin. *Alright, Alright. At ease, soldier. Permission given.”

       “Sir, what is this place and how did you get here, sir?”

       “That’s two questions, soldiers. And Hell if I know where I am, but it’s better than out there. And how did I get here? I enlisted in the only army that would still have me. Why are you here? Revenge? A home? Purpose?” The captain nods to several others in the groups around him.

        “I’m here to save my son, sir.”

        “Boy, stop it with the damn, sir. Everyone here, we fight when we’re told, stop when we’re told. There’s no comradery and respect here. There are no ranks in this little pit. You want to move up you enter the coliseum. That foreign bug un, I can’t say his name, I just call him Rusty,  three tents over’s, done it three times over the past three thousand years. He’s still not recovered from the last time, They beat you so bad… he’s still not recovered from the last attempt eight hundred years ago. No one else has tried it more than once that we know of. “ There’s a notable limp in the large leather clad warrior’s walk and one of his arms looks dead. “You either come back crippled or you don’t come back. Not coming back doesn’t always mean a promotion.

           “How high up can you go?” Mule asks, respecting the man’s request, though he remains respectful in tone and posture. The Captain just sighs, as if accepting this new one’s fate as either broken or gone most likely gone.

          “All the way to the top they say,” the man shrugs. “As for your son, don’t get your hopes up. Anyone in here’s beyond saving. So am I, so are you, so go bother some other idiots and dreamers before you draw too much attention to me.” he pulls out a bottle of whiskey.

         “Thank you for your time.”Mule remains polite, making the captain wish he’d just kept his mouth shut. But Mules old enough to know how hopeless it is already. It’s only his deference that makes him seem so damn young.

          “We’re beyond thanking now, too.”

          “One last thing, sir. Can you direct me to the coliseum?”

          “Just… go…” he gestures off to the side in irritation to a large tent. “And sign up. You might as well get it out of your system. You won’t make it.” The captain turns back to his fire. At least it’s warm.

          Mule walks towards the tent avoiding as many people as possible, especially the ones with the hungry look in their eyes. Of course, they don’t look too eager to go after Mule. He looks healthy and strong. Why attack him now when they can wait for him to come back from the coliseum where he’s clearly headed. Besides, what if he gets promoted?

         “Alright everybody! Time for a new journey to greatness! Do you have what it takes to rise in the ranks?” A large man with a white robe with silver trim and booming voice points out to the masses before him. No one steps forwards except Mule. “Eh, sorry, fella. Enlisted men only.” He smirks at Mule, putting a hand on his chest and he tries to take the pen.

       “I am Lieutenant Corporal Winchester, I think I qualify.” Mule asserts and  looks pointedly down at the announcer’s hand which takes its time as the man considers what’s underneath it. “I’m fighting someone today.” The implication that it’ll be him if he doesn’t let Mike sign at the very least makes him take his hand back. Mule picks up the feather pen and tries to sign the clipboard. It won’t write

      “Sorry soldier, enlisted means enlisted in this army as a member of this Legion.” The man in white takes the feather pen and tickles Mike’s nose with it. Mule grabs it and throws it outside the tent, drawing the attention of every one around them.

     “I don’t have to enlist, I’m the landlord.” He grabs the man by the collar of his robes and lifts him up so that they are eye to eye. “I’m fighting in this coliseum and winning and taking over this legion. My soul is not for sale, but I don’t mind taking a pound of flesh out of yours.”

      “You can’t hurt me! I’m a non combatant! I don’t make the rules, I just recruit for the coliseum.” The man in white seems to panic.

      “Congratulations, you’re about to have a new experience.” Mule adjust his grip to one handed and swings his fist back.

      “You have to take it up with the council!” He hastily covers his face with his hands.

      “I will take it up with the council. And you will take me to them. Regardless of what happens, I will not hold you accountable. Of course if you are one of those who laid their hands on my son, that is a different matter entirely.”

      “Oh. No, I’m not one of those perverts. But every unit has one, am I right?” The man in white snorts. “I will be back shor…” as he raises a hand to snap himself away, but the two of the. Just appear in the middle of a circular stone table surrounded by a hundred filled dark robes, filled with shadows.

      “Put down the coliseum recruiter.” They all say at once in the same tone. Mule puts him down, keeping hold of his cloak. “Ah, I see you think you have a hostage.“ They all sounds amused. The soul in Mule’s geaso gives a shrill shriek and shrivels into a wilted husk of itself before being ripped away and plastered to the walls of the room with many, many.others.  

     “Actually, I just wanted to make sure he didn’t run off to safety.” Mule gives an amused smile. “As I introduced myself to him, I’m your landlord and I’m here to compete in the coliseum.”

     “We are sorry, but only enlisted men can participate in the coliseum “ they sound like a telemarketer.

     “I am not giving you my soul. That’s not up for debate. All I want is to ensure that none of you lays a hand on my son again!” Which is a lie if only because he wants to rip apart every last of them because of it. *You need me here. I know you can’t afford to leave this vessel. You assaulted the son of an archangel, tried to corrupt him. The weight of all of heaven and hell is bearing down on you and the only reason you might not be instantly destroyed is me. I know that, you know that

       “The truth is that if you simply cede control of my body to me right now, you’ll be safer than anything. If  I’m in control no one will hurt any of you except possibly me.” Mule gives them a gracious nod, all around.

       “Interesting proposition.” They say slowly in a tone that’s hard to interpret. “I think it would make an even more interesting wager.”

       “Wager?” Mule absolutely does not like the sound of that.  

       “You won’t sell your soul for the chance to wager you can best us all, but will you wager it o. Tye belief that you can do just that.”

       “Win how exactly?”

       “If you win against our top tier champion, you regain control of your body, control of us as well, to use or abuse as you will.” Mule can’t help but hear the smirk on their faces,”But if you lose, you enlist, and are free to try over and over and over again, if that’s what you so choose. “

         Mule doesn’t respond. It’s so tempting.

        “As your enlistment bonus, we will give you those who… comforted your son in his time of need, to do with what you can. And no one will lay hands on him in that way ever again.”

       “Or other children.” Mule adds.

       “Pardon?”

       “As long as you are in this body, this legion will not molest injure, groom or harm any child in any way, mental physical, emotional. Children are now and forever off limits.”

       “For that addendum, you’ll have to win.”

       “Until I lose, as long as I’m fighting, any time I’m fighting in the coliseum, children are off limits.”

         “Very well,” a scroll appears before him.  “Bring the signed contract to the coliseum to begin.” Mule finds himself back at the recruitment tent with the scroll and a pen.  As he reads through it, everything seems to be in order. Right down to the last detail. No tricks or wordplay he can see. No loopholes, just a wager and it’s terms. He can’t see where it could be abused. He must be missing something, but whatever it is, as long as he keeps fighting, his son is safe from this monster. So he signs.

  
  


      Bree sits on the stairway, the open sleeping bag wrapped around her to ward off the cold. Raphael left Ariel his grace. In a rock. Like something that other Raphael did once. She never should have let them talk to each other. But she couldn’t help but hope her hubby would talk his twin into forgiving her for her jealous little murder, that is now luckily just attempted murder and renew the possibility of a threesome. The only thing better than one Raphael is two Raphael's and both in fairly hot vessels as well. She never thought it’d end up helping her husband do something so… selfish.  

 

        He’s not dead. She knows him well enough to know, he’d never agree to that. He hates Death and would never willingly embrace it, much less seek it out. And as much as he hates that bitch Azreal, she’d never encourage anyone to seek out death, especially Raphael. Reapers are just guides, after all, not recruiters. So he’s absolutely positively not dead as Azrael was so clearly implying with her message. Of course he’d never kick his vessel out of his own body either or smother or absorb it or any of the things that could happen when an angel loses his grace while in the vessel.

     “Huh.” Someone nudges her with their foot, too gently to be any of her in laws. Michael would try to ruffle her hair or something now that she’s pretending to want to be loving friendly sisters. Does Michael know yet? She’ll go berserk. Probably find a way to blame Bree for this. “Hey. Evil twin.” Where does she know that voice from? Bree looks up to see that other Helel standing near her, somehow every bit as beautiful as she was sixteen years ago.

       “What the hell are you doing here?” Bree straightens up a little. “Shouldn’t you be off playing kissy face with your Michael?” Instead of looking sad or annoyed or angry, this Lucifer looks a bit concerned.

       “That was kind of sad.” Luci shakes her head. “ I know you can do better than that. What’s wrong?”

      “Raphael’s left me and either killed himself or embraced humanity, abandoning all of his current responsibilities. I’m fairly sure it’s the latter, but they’re both fairly equally hard to see him actually doing. All I know for sure is that he left me and went to Azrael for whatever it is he’s doing.” Bree rests her head in her hands.

      “Well, if it’s any consolation,” Luci sits down beside her, “ Michael’s divorcing me.”

      “Surprisingly, no. It isn’t. What happened?”

       “She’s in love with someone else. She thinks it’s because she’s angry with me for losing my temper with the children and her, but it’s because she’s in love with her friend Jeff. To her credit she’s been trying really hard, but we’ve been falling apart since that one night affair right after we had the twins. “

       “You fucked up, huh?” Bree gives a sympathetic smile. “That's what's so great about my Raphael, he didn’t care what I did with my body or with who as long as there I didn’t hurt any one. Of course he forgave me for hurting people, too. Michael would never be okay with that.” Bree rolls her eyes. “I’m sorry about that, by the way. I was angry and jealous and wanted to fuck things up for you two. I shouldn’t have brought babies into it.”  It’s not a great apology but Luci can tell the regret is real so he doesn’t  go into it.

       “See, and that’s the assumption that would just… I’m the devil, I have to be in the wrong all the time. There’s absolutely nothing that I cannot should be doing that could help with this. I just have to pretend it never happened and let things run their course. I knew marriage was a dumb idea, but it’s what she wanted and after everything I put her through, I owe her something, you know.” Luci shrugs and straightens up. “So, your nephew’s gotten himself in a bit of a pickle. He’s being manipulated using his better nature and finer qualities for the most part and has been sorely abused and victimized though he can’t bring himself to face up to that yet “

      “Abused? Victimized?” Bree draws to attention, looking over at Luci. “How and who?” Her eyes appropriately flash at this last one.

      “Think ancient roman mentoring. Or go even further back to Sparta. Legion is only pretending Ben is in charge.”

      “Alright, where do we find this mother fucker and how do we kill it slowly, painfully and with great prejudice with a side of  unending torment if possible.” Bree cracks her knuckles letting the sleeping bag fall back.

       “We can’t. They’re in Ben’s father. Which is why we can’t leave this to either of our Michaels. This thing is my creation. I can destroy it and save Ben’s father and possibly save Ben. Unfortunately as I am I need help and no one at home is willing to trust me. They think I’ll succumb to temptation or some bullshit. I figured you at least would help me either because you understand where I’m coming from or because you didn’t care what I did or intended. Oh, and that monster how has my daughter. I know you don’t care about that but you damn well know  I don’t like people fucking with my things at the very least.”

       “Right. Fuck. You being some version of you. I assume you have some sort of plan already, and not help in creating one.” Bree scrunches her face up.

       “Exactly. So are you in?” Luci asks, though he sounds like he already knows she is.

       “Why the hell not? So no hard feelings about all that mess over a decade ago?” Bree can’t help, but look sheepishly up at her elder sibling’s counterpart.

        “I don’t hold any grudges. I am still pissed about you pulling Abigail I to it, but Dad knows I’ve been there so who am I to judge? You do know that my Raphael is never going to forgive you for that. Ever.* Luci puts an arm around Bree’s shoulder and leads her outside where it’s slightly less freezing and a cab is waiting. “Everything I need from you is waiting for you at that old abandoned bunker. I have to have a quick talk with Ben and his Mother. He opens the car door for her. “Thanks for waiting. Take her to where you picked me up, then come back here for me.“ She instructs the driver tossing him a blue gem.

      “You’re paying him in actual fucking sapphires?” Bree exclaims.

      “And Rubies. I’ll see you shortly.” Luci closes the door and oats the roof sending the cab off before heading back into the house and up the stairs. “Ben?” Luci knocks on the cold frosty bedroom door. “ Can I talk to you?”

        “What?” She hears him exclaim in surprise, a little stuffy too. He’s been crying again.

        “I’ve come to offer you a chance to help Legion or more accurately for legion to prove that he can be helped. That everything you see in them worth saving is real and not just a projection of yourself.” Luci leans against the side of the hall near the door, hands in his pockets.

         “Why would you… Why should I… mom, please, let… go!” Ben pulls himself from his mother’s grasp and goes to the door, opening it for the shivering Luci.

         “I’ll show you how to hide yourself from Michael.”

        “Legion already did.”

        “Alright theb , I want Riley back home safe and sound. That is my top priority. And I don’t want Michael doing anything she’ll regret. I will show you how to save your father and transfer ownership of Legion and all souls that comprise them to you after Riley is released. So I’m offering you seven hours to find Legion and get my baby girl back home. If you can’t get him to release Riley by then, I will offer myself in exchange, which is what I believe they want her for in the first place. If he’s saveable, as you say he’ll release Riley unharmed and won’t do me any irreparable harm.” Luci offers. Ben leans on the other side of the doorway just looking at him, suspiciously.

         “What about what you said earlier? That they’d rip out my grace and give it to you if you asked them to. How do I know that’s not what you’re planning .” of course as he doesn’t really understand it means that Luci was the devil, he doesn’t really believe what he’s suggesting. He’s more used to the ultimate evil being bourne of selfishness, boredom and apathy, not one with a core of hatred, and pride.

       “Well, your stance is that they won’t. That they care about you and love you enough not to wish you harm and for you to keep them from.harming others you care about or those they care about, aren’t you? Isn’t this what you’re devoted to believing so much so that you’ll leave your little sister with them unsupervised? If you have doubts, that alone should be a reason for you make them give Riley back.” Luci reasonably points out. “Where as I am wagering that once they have me in their reach, they won’t brutally murder me. We can actually win both our wagers and be happy, and if we lose we’re both kind of screwed. I for one will be happy with any ending that leaves my children alive and well and unscarred for life.*

         “Yes, but you sound like you already know how it’s going to end.” Ben hugs his arms tighter to his chest, clearly uncomfortable at the idea.

         “For all your confusion and hopes and faith, I think you know, too, Ben. Even if you can’t admit it to yourself.” Luci lowers his voices, “ You're a good boy, Ben. Caring and smart, don’t let your pride make you lie to yourself. That’s the worst thing you can do, believe me.” Luci reaches out to touch Ben’s cheek. “That’s a path you don’t want to take.”

       “I don’t trust you.” Ben stays cold.

       “Then I’d suggest you get going now, because I know how to find them and I will in seven hours. If you don’t take the wager, then I won’t be finding them alone.”

       “You… you are a manipulative bastard.” Ben clenches his teeth, but he has no better options really and he knows it.

       “Okay.” Luci steps aside and let’s Ben take off down the stairs.

       “If that child gets hurt in any way “ Ariel reappears, grabbing Luci’s shoulder with her free hand.

       “Do you intend to stand here and threaten or try to intimidate me, or do you want me to help you bring back little miss perfect over there?” Luci nods to the woman on the bed holding tightly to nothing. “Because I’m probably going to freeze to death before I can save either of them.”

       “You… want to help her?”

       “Yes. That thing will never work as things are. I’m afraid, St. Lucifer needs to hear a few things about herself.”

        


	61. Having Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley does not bond with Legion.  
> Raphael and Gabriel pass the time in the garden.

     “Just so you know,” Riley finally speaks as Legion finishes fortifying wherever the hell they are. “I am bleeding the lining of my uterus out right now. So you’re going to have to untie me at some point and provide me with feminine hygiene product. Because quite frankly anyone who  sees a ten year old girl tied to a chair with a bloody crotch is not going to think ‘oh, she’s having her period’ as their first assumption.*

         “We don’t exactly particularly care about the thoughts of other people.” Legion responds, forcing themselves to respond calmly. This child is truly Satan’s get.“Our apologies, though. Given your fighting  instinct this is the only way we could think of to keep you from attacking us without harming you.”

         “He says as he remembers I have thousands of relatives that will destroy him without mercy or hesitation, should he ever harm a hair on my head “Riley snorts, unimpressed by pretty much anything they have to offer in the way of anything at all.  “What do you want with me? And why would you possibly think you’d even have a remote chance of getting it this way?” That arrogant little snot….

       “I didn’t want you, “ Legion snarls “I wanted your brother. Lucifer would have come for his son. I just hope he’ll come for Michael’s daughter.” The disgusted way he says this just rolls of Riley’s back.

      “You want Dad?* Riley gives an incredulous laugh

      “You know he won’t come, don’t you?” Legion says sympathetically. Maybe it’ll hit home this time. But her laughter only starts sounding less surprised and more genuinely amused.

      “I think that you don’t think he’s a threat just because he’s human right now and I think that’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Mom’ll just destroy you, quick and thoroughly, with maybe a second’s hesitation because you look like Uncle Sam with less hair and more stick up his butt. But Dad, he hasn’t been a good person very long, you know. I don’t think he’s forgotten how to be the devil.” Riley takes a breath and twists a little in her seat. “And you went after my brother, so I am not even going to try to stop him from fucking you up. No matter what sob story you may have in there. And the best thing is that I can tell you this and you can actually believe me and yet you’ll still never see him coming and nothing will prepare you for what he’s going to do to you.” The ropes around her slacken a little, as they expected. She probably thinks she’s being discreet, too, how adorable.

       “You don’t even know who I am, do you little girl?”  Legion looks back at her with a condescending smile. But it doesn’t phase her at all. That confidence that arrogance, they almost hope Lucifer doesn’t come just to see the smirk wiped off the little brats face.

      “I know you’re some loser demon who’s mad at the devil for turning his back on everything he once stood for and every abomination he created, like you. I’m also pretty sure that this means that you’re going to try to get revenge on him instead of following his example and trying to become a better person. Even though you were quick enough to let him lead you into hell in the first place.” that… ignorant devilspawn is looking down on him… them….

 

        “There is no salvation for us! We don’t get that chance, so WHY SHOULD HE? And how can any of you actually believe he’s reformed? You? You are a stupid child. Your brother accuses you of hating your father, and yet you hold him up as an example for me to follow? You don’t know who he is, what he’s capable of. I stood by his side for tens of thousands of years. I know him better than you could ever hope to. In ways I doubt your mother would even consider. Does she know about Sabbat? I was Sabbat. He doesn’t care about any of you, he can’t. All his love is for himself!” Legion tries to turn their fury into scorn, but it’s too late for that. And the little girl in front of them scorns them  right back much better than she has the right to.

         “Do you think I don’t know what he’s done? I’ve read the Winchester gospels. Besides I’m the devil’s child, do you honestly think there’s a shortage of people who want to make sure I know what a minster he was? You’re the stupid child. I’d have said jilted lover if you were ever actually anything but a tool in arsenal to him. You couldn’t have been. Whatever love he had wasn’t for anything that was ever human. Until us.” The steady look she gives him strikes him deeper than he can afford to admit.

      “I see you didn’t inherit his silver tongue.” Legion’s rather pathetic attempt at a comeback falls short and they just go over to hammer some more nails into the boarded up doors and windows. She’s definitely inherited his barbed tongue though.  “It’s really better if you don’t try to escape.” Legion comments casually as they can hear the ropes slide off.

      “Yeah, okay. I’ll just stay right here, passively ties to a chair. That’s just so-o-o me. Quiet, obedient, never any trouble at all.* the sarcasm is as thick as the smoke rising from burning souls. “If you want me to stay put and behave yourself, you’re going to have to beat the hell out of me. After all, it’s not like you can threaten to tell my mother.”  that smirk, again. And that attitude she can’t possibly the that ignorant or that confident or feel that secure. It’s not possible. She’s too old.    

       “And how do you know I won’t beat the shit out of you?” Legion turns to give the child their most imposing look.  Unbelievable. That girls is just sitting on the chair, rope free, one leg crosses over the other and her arms handing over the back of the seat. She’s not even hiding that she’s loose or trying to run. Does she know about the confinement? She can’t possibly  

        And still that smirk, Tue one expression. He can’t stand to see on her face. It’s her father’s smirk, complete with the look of assured victory in her eyes. The one that says she’s about to get exactly what she wants. Sudden they feel filled with doubt.

     She’s clearly bluffing. Isn’t she? Who knows what her father taught her. Unlike Ben, this child probably knows all about demons, what they are, what they can do, how to deal with them. She could know spells and the blood of menstruation is incredibly powerful for certain things. Especially the first one. It’s impossible to know. What’s even worse is that they have never wanted to destroy any human more. To rip those smirking lips and self assured eyes off her face….her father’s eyes and smile in such infuriatingly perfect replication.

 

       “Yes, I understand that it means to discard something in a manner to indicate it has no value or worth, and is in fact garbage. But I still don’t understand why throwing a soda can or a strange dance is as hilarious as you claim.” Raphael argues with his irritating little sister as they wait for some sort of reply.

         “It just is.” Gabriel sighs plopping down on the grass. She finally looks as exasperated as he feels.  “Look, in the right context… okay. Sock Puppet time.” she snaps up the little sock puppet bag much to Raphael’s chagrin.

        “We do not need your stupid sock puppets.  I am a grown angel. If you would put the least effort into making some sort of sense…” he scolds her, though he really doesn’t feel inclined to grab them and away from her. After all he knows she’s worried sick and going stir crazy from the confinement and if this nonsense is keeping her relatively sane, then so be it. Raphael just crosses his arms and rests his head back against the tree.

      “Alright “ she puts on the red puppet and the fishnet one from that drunken truth or dare game at her wedding reception when Michael was breaking up fights. “Now pretend we’re in heaven.*

      “We are in heaven you twit.”

      “The gates, not the garden.” She corrects him. “Hold on.” A  puppet show booth appears between them with a back drop of heaven’s gates. *This is Michael. This is Luci.” She holds up the red and fishnet ones respectively. And this is the fall. YEEET!” The Michael sock puppet rips the Luci sock puppet off her hand and violently throws it out of the booth, through the floor and probably out of heaven entirely.      

        This is not funny and he is absolutely not going to laugh at such an inappropriate joke. Of course, now there’s going to be a tiny crater on earth with a fishnet devil sock puppet in the center of it, if It doesn’t crash through someone’s roof, or head….

         “See?” Gabriel smiles at Raphael as he bursts out laughing so hard he has to hold his stomach.

        “I should ‘yeet’ you across heaven for such a disrespectful sacrilegious display.” Raphael scolds the ever ridiculous, irreverent child and elicits a gasp from her.

       “Do iiiit…* and of course she would want that. “Toss me across the garden at least. Towards the door so I’ll just bounce back. The garden’s clear. C’mon!”

       “No. You know I’m not allowed to do that again.” Raphael sternly reminds her.

      “Pfft “ Gabriel rolls her eyes. “We are grown angels and Michael is not the boss of us anymore. I mean, what is she going to do, ground us?” She gestures to their confinement. “I can’t believe she grounded us. She didn’t even ground you for jump starting the apocalypse, did she?”

     “No. But that was in case she lost. She might have if she won.” Raphael says quietly.

     “Oh yeah, there was totally no spoiling and favoritism involved in that, you absolute momma’s boy.” Gabriel sits down and scoots over to her big brother. “Anyways since we are here stuck at Michael mercy, you wanna yet me across the garden?”

      “Thus us neither the time or place for that. We are in the middle of a crisis here. Legion is loose on earth with our loved ones, our mortal loved ones….”

     “My Sam can take care of himself and where he can’t Dean and Cas will.  Shelly will take care of Abigail and the kids. Alex is with Claire in Valhalla so she’s good. Luci is safely locked away. It’s fine. We’re just killing time until Hara finishes researching Legion and brings us the stuff ”

      “ And who is going to keep your daughter and the child within her womb safe?”

      “I’m sure the good sense and restraint endowed in her through her upbringing will have the exact same effect on her behavior as my actual presence.” Gabriel reassures her brother reaching up to pat him on the head.

       “I’m… not about to  disagree with you on that point.” Raphael says carefully, realizing that Gabriel is well aware of the likelihood of her daughter doing something stupid and reckless for her baby brother’s sake, like the Winchester she is. “We can do something to pass the time but I’m not throwing you across the garden. You’ll break something and if it’s not yourself, Joshua will have a few things to say about it.”

      “Oh come on. That’ll just give us more to do. Anything breaks, we’ll fix it. C’mon… you know you want to.” She purrs, snuggling up to his arm.

      “Don’t ever use that tone of voice with me again.” Raphael stiffly pulls his arm out of hers, his wings all frizzled like a well watered chia pet.

      “Oh! Shoot, yeah, sorry I forgot about her. I’m still creeping about that whole mess over there . I wasn’t thinking. Sorry.” She starts smoothing his feathers down almost like when she was cleaning off his wings from that prank so long ago. “But… I bet you want to throw me across the garden now. Dontcha. Go on, do it.   You’ll feel better. Do it… dooooo iiiit” she grabs awkwardly hold of his right set of wings, the ones she was soothing and starts vigorously shaking them. It’s annoying but he doesn’t give in. “Oh! Pretend I’m her.”

      “NO!”

      “Yes! It’ll be therapeutic.* she finally let's go of his wings and drapes herself over the back of his neck. “ Oh my precious Raphael. My darling, sensuous angel of sweet, sweet love  Don’t forsake me in my hour of need.”

     “Stop it.” Raphael remains a rock, unmoving, unmoved.

     “ My passion for you burns brighter than Michael yelling at me for no reason at all. I love you more than Helel loves himself,” the dramatic  declarations are not even funnier for the chewing if the scenery.

      “This is not funny, and this is not appropriate and you will stop it immediately or I will hurt you.” Raphael stubbornly refused to laugh at this not at all hilarious thing that he does not want to find amusing even slightly. He just shoves her off to the side.

     “Don’t cast me aside this way darling “ She grabs his leg as he stands up to walk away, wrapping herself limb and wing around it. “This I the object of all your lustful abominable desires, all you ream of and long for.”

      “I mean it, Gabriel! Stop it!”

      “No, I will never stop until you take me in your big strong arms and fulfill our most fervent desires!”

     “Aaaaaahhhh! FINE!” Raphael grabs her and heaves her across heaven like a gold feathered football. Much to his surprise it does make him feel a great seal better. At least until she crashes into someone appearing in the garden. And this is why he didn’t want to do this. She never listens.

       “It’s okay! We’re all alright “ Gabriel calls to him. “It’s just Cas. Youa”got our messages I see.” Raphael reaches them as Gabriel dusts off the disheveled angel. He seems to be alright.. “Sorry about that Cassie. So, what’s the buzz.”

        “Ben and Lucifer have escaped the interrogation room. Ben also managed to take off the binding bracelets Michael found him with. Michael has not yet responded to us. Sam us staying with Michelle, Alice, and the twins. Dean is keeping an eye on Abigail and her friends and I have come to see If there was anything I could do to help you escape your confinement.”

        “I doubt it “ Gabriel sighs. “You’re younger than us.”

        “So only angels older than you can create or undo your confinement  just as it is with the seraphs.” Castiel looks over to Raphael a bit reproachfully as he clearly has not ungrounded his younger sister

       “Yes,” Gabriel says quickly before Raphael can respond, “And I see what you’re thinking, but Raphael cannot ungrounded me. He lost his grounding privileges completely a long long time ago, back when I was the youngest thing alive.”

       “Our father took them away. Did you have to bring that up?” Raphael shoots her a dark look.

       “He abused the privilege.”  Gabriel confides in Cas much to their older brother’s chagrin.

       “I can understand why he might have.” Castiel’s statement, though soundly ignored by Gabriel, elicits a grin from Raphael.

       “Regardless your best hope in getting Michael is to get Alex so she can try to calm Michael down. And you know damn well she needs her friggin therapist now because she is not going to calm down on her own until Legion is dead and Riley is home, safe and sound.  Do you remember the last time? And that was just me.” Gabriel winces and gives Raphael her big pleading baby sister eyes. Raphael just sighs and nods. “That was probably my favorite Michael moment though. Well, after the dance off with Maui at my bachelorette party, I mean.”

       “You were reckless, Gabriel. I still hold you at least partly responsible for that mess.” Raphael has to add because of course he does.

       “Hey I was helping Luci separate them as I was supposed to do.” Gabriel jabs Raphael in the chest.  “Mommy and Daddy Levi,” she clarifies for Castiel who looks a little confused. “We were supposed to kill one so they wouldn’t breed and devour everything, Luci and I were helping lead them away from each other, I pulled short a little too early and got chomped.” Gabriel claps her hands together. “I hadn’t fought in water before. But man, I never knew Michael could move so fast. She grabbed me, tossed me to Raph and just BOOM! It was the coolest most terrifying thing I had ever seen. Like a supernova with a sword. It was just… kind of awesome really.“ Castiel has never seen Gabriel geek out like this before, especially not about Michael.  “I’d actually forgotten about that. How did I forget about that?”

        “The pain from the bite most likely. And the fact half your wings were singed off from the explosion. It was absolutely amazing. Michael doesn’t like us talking about it, though.” Raphael reminds her to no avail.

       “Because she killed the wrong one.” Gabriel explains. “Who knew the girl would eat all the peices and give birth to all the little gooey Levi bastards we know and love. Well, Dad I guess, which is why he said to kill the female. So Dad had to create purgatory and made you little fellas for us to train and help herd them in. He was going to anyways, just a little early. Michael was really upset over the whole thing. So, you know, don’t say anything. But my point is that was for me. And Legion has Riley so your absolute priority is to FIND MICHAEL! Take her to her therapist and get her to calm down and let us out so we can all work together to find and save Riley without scorching the face of the earth.”

       “What do we do about Lucifer? Castiel asks warily.

       “Oh, it’s way too late to do anything. He’ll probably end up rescuing Riley himself to be honest. Michael’s the most immediate problem.” Gabriel confesses.

       “So you’re extending our brother a little trust?” Raphael puts an arm around Gabriel’s shoulders

        “We have to. So get moving Cash. Try not to piss her off again.” Gabriel gives the angel a nudge. “Go. Shoo. Story time’s over.”

        “I’ll do my best “ He flits away.

        “You’re willing to trust him now.” Raphael smiles that stupid Michael smile that he gets sometimes

        “You know this is really weird, you being on team Luci now “ Gabriel scrunches her nose.

       “And you going gaga over Michael. I’m not taking Helel’s side on this. And I don’t like him more than the two of you or any nonsense like that. I simply understand him a little better. And he’s actually being a passably loving brother to me. Still bearing all his faults, of course, but … He’s been trying so hard, struggling but I’ve never known him to give up easily once he sets his mind on something.”

        “I know! I just… What if he’s not ready? What if the temptation is too much and he hurts you again.” Gabriel blurts out a bit more than she meant to.

        “What?” Raphael looks down at her a little surprised

        “Do you remember last time? I remember last time. When he stabbed you and made you think he’d tricked and was using you? What that did to you… You tried to send yourself to the abyss, Raph. You, Mr. Anything is better than death even torture and brainwashing. And it’ll be worse the next time and I can’t.   We can stop him from whatever else he does or tries to do, but you’ve let him in and I don’t ever want to see you like that again.” Gabriel just hugs his brother. “Everything's pretty great now, you know.”

     “I know. And I’m not that fickle. I won’t turn on or abandon him for a few mistakes or a little backsliding. It’ll take a lot to shake my faith in him again.”

     “Kind of my point, Raph.” Gabriel sighs.

     “I’ll be okay, Bree, really. I’m not as fragile and alone as I was then “ he reassures her, wrapping his wings around them both. “I promise, I’ll be okay, whatever happens.

     “Are you sure?”

     “I’m sure “ Raphael kisses the top of her curly head.

     “Good because you have to throw me again.” She grins  

     “I absolutely do not!”

     “Yes you do and you have to do it right this time.*

      “What are you talking about?”

      “You didn’t yell ‘Yeet’!”

      “I… you little brat! How about if I remind you what being a little sister means and beat the nonsense out of you?* he shoves her away.

      “You’ll have to catch me first!” She takes off.  Raphael waits a moment and darts off at an angle to intercept her as she rounds the tree. Anything to pass the time.


	62. Sleeping Beauty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luci reads Helel the riot act
> 
> Mule's last fight in the coliseum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finished this book so the last chapters will be typed up soon. Sorry it took me so long. I guess I'm kind of burning out with this stuff.

           “Under no circumstances are you laying your hands on Raphael’s grace.” The lion if god places herself protectively in front of Helel, the grace held tightly to her chest. It does make sense that one who cares about Raphael wouldn’t want any Helel to have access to his grace. Especially not Helel’s evil twin.

          “I don’t want it for my own personal use. I’ve had experience with that thing and it is pure torture. Think every prayer sent your way, except instead of a message or request it’s the exact experience of all their pain and suffering. Honestly I’m surprised it took him so long to snap in either universe.” Luci tsks the irritated angel. “I just want to use it to help this one get back on her feet.” He kicks the nearest leg of the bed. “I really have to say, I’m surprised at you. You’re so protective of Raphael’s grace, this one’s body, and threatened me over Ben’s safety. And yet you made absolutely no move to stop that little boy from leaving or doing anything.” Luci gives the angel a steady look. “I can’t help but feel some conflicts of interest are at play here, given the circumstances.”

       “I am heaven’s healer and Helel Ben Sahar is my patient” Is Ariel’s curt reply which really tells Luci all he needs to know about that.  “As for Ben, I have no authority over him.”  

       “You have no…. You are his aunt, fully grown a million times over. He is your thirteen year old nephew. You absolutely have some authority over him. Especially while his father is absent and mother is incapacitated.” Luci gives the angel an incredulous look. Ariel just glances down at Helel. So she’s that kind of parent 

       “Oh for….”Luci throws his hands in the air. “C’mon, dad, do you hear this? Why did you make us this way? Did you not care about our children at all? I swear I have no idea what you’re doing, or why you’ve done anything you’ve done.  Quite frankly at this point, I’m kind of hoping that you don’t either, because, what the fuck, dad?” 

       “You shut your blasphemous mouth,” Helel hisses finally gathering the strength to again.

       “Welcome back to the land of the living.” Luci walks around to half sit half lean against the edge of the nightstand. “That’s good. No need to exhert yourself and talk. You’ll need your strength for listening and self reflection.” He pats her frozen head. “I hope you’re ready to stop thinking about yourself for once and start thinking about your family and what they need.”

       “Helel thinks of nothing but her family.” Ariel protests in the archangel’s defense. Luci doesn’t even look in the angel’s direction.

       “That’s sweet that Ariel thinks so, but we both know that’s not true. Sure you care about them and their needs. It’s probably easier for you than it is for me sometimes. So exhausting. But it’s still running through you. That sense of pride and ego underneath everything. It’s like carbon to our earth. Maybe you did things because you loved them, for their sakes and well being, but I’ll bet there were a lot of things you didn’t do or didn’t even consider that were less than flattering to your image and personal desires.

       “For example the fact that there was another way to resolve the problem of the effect Raphael’s absence had on Michael. You know besides torturing and breaking Raphael into obedient subservience. And you damn well know it. You could have easily convinced Michael to try to meet Raphael halfway. To keep the lines of communication open between them and maybe even have helped calm things down between Michael and Gabriel. 

         “That one, that’s something we both could have done a hundred times over before she ever even took the mark, but you didn’t. Because you didn’t want her and Michael to be closer. You wanted them both to love you more than any of our fathers other creations. And it was so stupid because you could have helped bring all of you closer together because Michael once did love you more than any other peice of creation. He trusted you so much, gave so Mich weight to what you had to say… there is so much pain you could have prevented or healed, but because it wasn’t yours, you thought it never would be…” Luci’s voice trails off briefly. “You never even considered any of that, though, did you? Not for Raphael.”

       “I did.” Helel’s reply is as faint as Luci’s accusation. 

       “But…”

       “None of that would have encouraged Gabriel to give me the mark.” There’s a long judgmental silence from Luci. “She was breaking, suffering. It wasn’t her burden to bear it was mine.” 

      “Well,” Luci gives her a faux sympathetic smile. “Guess what? She didn’t break nearly as much or as fast as you would have. As I did. Oh, she fell a few years later, but she didn’t break for Days. I shoved that thing onto Cain so fast.   But trust me, I know how it grated on you when she turned and clung to Raphael so much afterwards. It made ut so much worse.You weren’t just losing her. You were losing her to him.

       “When she took the mark, you lost your purpose. It was probably your greatest shame. A moment of cowardice and your glory was taken from you. She didn’t even know she was doing it. She thought she was sacrificing herself to the darkness for you. And you lost your role as Gabriel’s protector, defender and refuge bit by bit to Raphael.

          “I can’t imagine how bad that stung. Losing to that worthless, useless brat. Probably close to how bad it hurt when I lost her to humanity. Maybe worse. I mean, first he takes Dad’s precious love and attention from you, then when Dad’s gone, he steals Michael’s, and finally Gabriel. I mean, Raph’s very existence felt like a reproach to you, as if he was made because you weren’t good enough. But thinking that hurt too much, so obviously it wasn’t you who was worthless, insufficient, unnecessary, expendable. It was him. And don’t even try to deny it. Up until that one moment facing the darkness, we were the same. Stupid, arrogant, prideful, insecure. Our faults have always been our faults and probably always will be.”

      “No. I am not you .. “ 

      “Still that ego. Pushing you so hard, fighting against the truth. It was that one moment that kept you from becoming me. Not even your own moment because I had that same moment of hesitation. Maybe I recovered faster, maybe your Gabriel was just quicker. But your Gabriel’s loving selfless, thoughtless impulsive sacrifice saved you from being me. And let me tell you something, Helel. That moment when you decided to torture your baby brother, betraying what fragile trust he had in you, and every moment you stayed on that horrible path with him, there was no difference between us.” 

        It’s telling that Ariel doesn’t come to Helel’s defense this time. Maybe it’ll help that stupid angel understand. Ariel clearly stayed in heaven, on Helel’s side. But maybe it wasn’t for love of Helel. The thought should be humbling at least. Granted Luci doesn’t want to actually completely break his counterpart. Well, maybe a small part of him does, but  that's not what anyone needs to happen.

   “But you, you lucky beloved angel, are and have always been 90% goodness and virtue. Me, I’m working on it. I’m hoping I’m managing fifty fifty or better these days but I’m probably pinballing between sixty fourties. At best.”  Luci confesses tapping his heel against the floor and gives a sigh. “ That’s mostly from not doing things I want to do. It’ll be hell getting anywhere even close to where you are. Shucks, it’ll be hell once I’m there. You think you suffer from guilt over your crimes. I don’t even know where to begin with mine. It’s funny, I can’t afford to feel these things, but Its so damn vital that I do. We’re both caught in traps of our own making.  But you have a way out.

        “You are and always will be better than me and have been for the longest time thanks to your little Tinkerbell drinking the poison before it could touch your lips. You have a better life, a better spouse, a better existence and I resent the ever loving fuck out of that. The only place I win is with my children. No slight to Ben. I just have two, which is more, and they can be in heaven someday, which is better than purgatory.  Though I can't so I guess that part breaks even.” Luci smiles. “You’re just an overall better angel than I am.”

         “Damned with faint praise.” Helel has to be an asshole, but Luci understands. He doesn’t like saying or thinking about any if this shit either. He takes a moment to brush his hair back out of his face. That’s the problem with being human with such long silky hair, it slides all over the place, never doing what you want without so much work. At least his doesn’t so he’s fairly sure anyone who says otherwise is a filthy liar.

      “You have a great family, a challenging and fulfilling life. Heaven loves you and welcomes you with open arms. Humanity adores you, which is a nice little ego boost even if don’t hold them in much greater regrs than I do. And they all need you right now. Your existence improves theirs. Ben needs you, badly. Your husband is really going to need you when this is over. So you,” Luci bends down to give Helel’s shoulder a friendly smack. “Are going to have to get well a lot quicker than you will just on your own. This isn’t the first few days where you could take a break for a few eons and catch up later. Everything moves so fast now. And that means you need Raphael. Or at least his grace, because you broke him again you absolute price of shit brother. And you need to check yourself and your ego or neither this angel or the grace in her hands will be able to help you.”

        “Are you seriously implying that Helel is keeping herself from being healed?.” Ariel finally decides to take her siblings defence again. “ Helel, don’t pay attention to this… broken faded shadow of you. I know you would never let anything keep you from your boys if you had any real choice in the matter.” 

      “Have you ever had to heal Helel before?” Luci turns to Ariel. “Not to this degree of injury I know because you don’t understand our defenses. From what I understand when you got chomped the first time, you didn’t let Raphael heal you. At all. I did because everything hurts so much worse with the mark and it was his fault anyways for almost getting himself eaten anyways. But I almost never let him heal me if I could at all help it. Of course part of the reason I did then was because Michael ended up ordering Gabriel out of the room and Raphael to stay by my side until I healed.”

        “Helel wanted Raphael to direct his energy into saving and healing all of us that he could first.” Ariel protests. “And Michael had to have him keep Gabriel out of trouble. Helel was being selfless, not selfish or stubborn  We all visited her as she healed. Michael tried to help, but until the feathers came back, for her wings, she barely improved at all. But she still worked from her room and got everything done making Gabriel her messenger. It was an ordeal for her. She wouldn’t have gone through it if she didn’t have to.” And again Ariel comes to Helel’s defense.

       “You think our pride wasn’t so great that we wouldn’t have suffered rather than let Raphael help him? That’s a generous of you but we know better. We can freeze him out. Consciously, unconsciously. We have to let him in for him to be able to help us. We have to take down our defenses and we can’t do that unless we trust him. I have no idea how to make you get your head right about this, not in the little time we have left. But you’ve got to figure out why you can’t trust him to do what he was made to do.”

     “Perhaps the fact that Raphael let her die giving birth to Ben might have something to do with it.” Ariel has apparently been holding onto some anger about that, despite her mixed feelings for Helel and her clear love and admiration for Raphael.

      “No, he didn’t.” Luci brushes the statement off like the nonsense it ism “Yes, your Raphael is stronger than ours. Apparently dying takes a lot more out of us than we thought, but we not know my Raphael is the better healer and he hasn’t been able to save a mother of nephilim yet. A few have survived, but he. Can’t replicate it on his own and with Gabriel we’re not entirely sure of what ensured her survival. It was very, very close. Hell, this body only survived the twins because they were early and small and it’s not much different from yours. We are not built for child birth.”

            “That… that is true.” Ariel confirms looking a little relieved at the thought. At least Luci’s helping someone. Hopefully he’ll get through to Helel.

         “We both know his enmity with death is so visceral that at the very least he could never bring himself to murder you outright. Not without something greater requiring him to.That and whatever vestiges of affection for you that you’ve yet to destroy would stop him as well. He would have been trying his hardest to save you on principle alone. The only circumstance I could imagine where he would let you die is if it was either you or the baby. So either he was unable to do what he’d never been able to do before, or he made the choice you would have insisted he make. You’d never have forgiven him for choosing your life over Ben’s. We both know it. You don’t even know Raphael at all, do you? Ah, you probably don’t want to. You were worse to yours than I was to mine. The guilt would probably be unbearable. It’s easier to hate him and believe the worst.”

         “I don’t hate him.” Helel manages another sentence though it clearly exhausts her.

        “Good. Work from there, I guess.“ Luci is practically interrupted by the honking of a horn outside. “Well, that’s my ride. I have to go. Though I could recommend a good therapist who can help you work through this.” The only reply to this is a withering glare. “Suit yourself.” Luci heads to the door, “Just remember, Raphael deserved better from us, Helel. And he always did.”

  
  


        Mule pushes himself up from the ground. Every fiber in his being hurts. It’s not over yet, and he’s not surrendering. Never, not until the last bit of his soul withers and dies. 

        “You’re so brave.” He mocks the general and the forces gathered behind him. “Siccing your minions on me. I thought this was our fight.” They circle around him, but he’s barely staying upright.

         “You don’t understand,” The large bear of a man laughs, picking up his club. “There’s no you versus me. There is you versus us. You think I am a cheater because of them? I am my men, and all of the thousands of souls under my guidance and direction. Their hand, their face, their weapons, their life force, all ours. And we will teach you never to stand against us again.” The men vanish into him like shadows doused by spotlights. It’s too bad none of them form into some sort of pants, even a loin cloth would be enough.     

          “Everyone below you,” Mule repeats, the realization coming too late.  That was the catch to the wager. There’s no way to win. No such thing as one on one because they are all one. There never was a real fight to wager on. The coliseum itself is just a ruse to keep the ambitious at bay and elevate those they want promotes as far as they want them promoted.

       “We are impressed with you, though.” They slowly step closer. “You’ll make a fine lieutenant once I teach you some manners.”

        “I haven’t given up yet.” Mule states as much to remind himself as to remind Legion.

        “You are one soul against many. What’s the point of resisting? We need you alive. We are too powerful for you to kill on your best day. Give up and we will make this… quicker.” One soul against many.

         “No.”

        “It is already over, lieutenant.”

        “Not until I say it is.” Mule draws himself up preparing for the attack. They’re souls. All just souls. In his body. With nothing between him and them.

        “As you wish.” Souls … The blows just beat the thought into him. Powerful blows, power, so much power. And no barriers. No barriers. It’s not his body being hurt. He could heal his body. Helel taught him how. With the power of his own soul. He can’t heal his soul with his soul. Not his own soul. And that club. Isn’t real.

         Mule lifts his hand and grabs onto the handle just above their hand. The words to tap in stumble across his lips, but it’s enough. His fingers dig in, passing flesh and wood, drawing the raw power in to make him whole again. More and more power, the power of hundreds, no thousands of souls to take from but he can’t contain it all in his own. There’s nothing left to heal. How can he kill them inside his own body? If he keeps drawing them in he’ll explode. They’ll explode. Draw them all in as close as he can. Take as much as he can contain until he can’t hold back any more and explode. It should kill them. It has to kill them. So many of them are nothing but dried up shells already.

          “No!” Legions voices protest guessing what he’s trying to do. “You’ll kill us all.”

          “Then you will never lay hands on my son again.” Mule closes his eyes feeling close to his limit. “Helel, I love you.” But before he can let go a bright shining light consumes him, draws from him and caresses his very being, drowning everything in its brilliance. When Mule finally let's go, he falls into the salvation of his beloved’s grace.


	63. Black Swan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael returns to Heaven  
> Mule surrenders

         “Well it’s about damn time.” Gabriel sounds mildly and irritated as she and Raphael look through the compilation of records around the base of the tree.

         “Is that how you greet me?” Michael stands before them, arms crossed, as his younger siblings don’t even bother to look up at him.

         “Have you spoken to Alex?” Raphael asks cooly.

         “I have not spoken to Aex. I do not need my therapist, I need my child home safe and sound and legion reduced to ashes and scattered to the four corners of the earth!”

        “You NEED to let us out you asshole!” Gabriel stands up. Through Michael’s fury is singing her feathers. “And calm the fuck down before you destroy half the earth.”

         “Don’t you speak to me that way, young lady.”

         “What way? The way you’d speak to a high handed asshole who’s lost her damn mind? Because you happen to be a high handed asshole who’s lost her damn mind!”

         “Then I am clearly not the only one.” Michael steps forward. Gabriel manages not to step backwards, if only because of her own anger

          “Michael,” Raphael quickly moves between them. “We know you’re upset and afraid for Riley. We’ve both just been there ourselves. But you can’t shut us out or lock UA away in the garden because you don’t think we’ll do everything your way. What’s wrong? This isn’t like you… anymore.” Raphael amends at Gabriel’s snort. “Do you think a single adult in this family does not want exactly the same thing you want?”

         “ That’s not the issue. You don’t listen to me anymore. You don’t do as your told. Everything is so chaotic already I just can’t afford….” Michael thankfully doesn’t finish the sentence, though it doesn’t stop Gabriel from finishing it for him.

         “To trust us? You can’t afford to trust us? Is that it? Because clearly we can’t trust you, you tyrant. Are you even aware of what you just did to me? I am still heaven’s regent. I’m still in charge of all of our younger siblings and you just completely usurped my authority and humiliated me before all of heaven. I’m not saying it’s as important as Riley’s well being but it’s still important!”

           “Gabriel,” Michael starts a little more subdued.

           “No... Not... Just… stop being so damn Michael for once!” She blurts in frustration.

           “Stop using my name as an insulting adjective!”

           “As soon as you stop calling Luci by the wrong name sure.” Gabriel retorts. 

           “He’s fine with me calling him Helel.”

          “No, he’s not!” Gabriel holds her hands out in exasperation. “He’s just given up because he loves you and you won’t stop. He hates you calling him Helel. He almost walked out on your wedding ceremony because you called him Helel, Michael.”

          “Then are you going to insist that Michelle and Raphael stop calling him Helel, too?”

          “That’s not the same thing.” Raphael speaks up before Gabriel can dig herself in deeper. “It doesn’t have the same meaning. Michelle has never known him as anything or anyone but who he is right now. And the Helel I saw was the same flawed irritating creature I always did. But to you Helel is this ideal perfect creature who turned into Lucifer who you hated and rejected, and he’s neither of those things anymore. He never will be. When you call him Helel it’s like you’re seeing and speaking to an illusion of him. You know he feels that way because he told you this more than once.”

      “That’s not true. I see him as he is, Raphael.”

      “No, you don’t. Sometimes it seems like you never saw did. You’d never have locked him up again if you did. If you were even thinking. How could you.   What are you doing, Michael?” Raphael steps forward and reaches up to put his hand on his siblings cheek, the other on Michael’s shoulder. “Why?” The softness seems to make the eldest archangel crumble into his little brother’s arms.

        “Everything is falling apart, and I don’t know what else to do.” Michael confesses. “Everything just seemed so perfect for so long. Yes we had a little trouble when the twins were born, but we got through it. We got stronger, did better. But… he’s not doing anything. Yes we argue every few years, but there’s just more and more times when he’s just shutting down. I’ll come home and he won’t notice me for a little while. He’ll just be lost in thought, sober distant, then he’ll see me and Helel’s back, smiling at me or scolding me for not telling him I’d be late or for eating all the honey. It’s like watching him fall all over again.”

          “He’s not, though,” Raphael tries to reassure him.

          “At first it was just every now and then. I could just tell myself he was tired. Taking care of the children is exhausting. But he’s doing so well. He’s wonderful with them. He’s wonderful with me and I can see him trying so hard, as hard as Helel was trying before. But there’s this distance that just keeps growing between us just like before and I don’t know how to get him back just like before. I don’t know how to get it back. It’s just like those first Days. I’m losing him again. We’re losing him again and there’s nothing I can do.”

         “So what? “Gabriel doesn’t sound very sympathetic. “You decide that doing the exact same thing you did last time, only sooner and beyond any reasonable right you have to do to another person?” She demands as Raphael just continues to comfort their sibling. “Forget it.” She plops back down and starts going through the papers again. “ Michael is Michael is Michael and I don’t know why I’d expect anything different.”

       “Why didn’t you say anything?” Raphael gently chides her, ignoring his sulky little sister. “You can always talk to me, you know that.”

       “How can I? You and your brother are getting along so well now. He’s even getting along with Alex. And he’s not doing anything wrong. For all I know I’m just imagining things and I didn't want to risk doing or saying anything that might hurt what he has with either of you. 

      “I’ve been trying everything I can think of. Romantic afternoons, family outings, dates… I’ve been trying to get him to socialize and form connections beyond just our family, but that’s not working either. I try to keep reminding him how much I love him and how proud I am of him and how well he’s doing. But it’s not working. And I have to make sure the children are okay and if he’s falling again, I can’t let him….”

       “He’s not. It’s not what you think.” Raphael reassures him. “He’s not projecting his pain onto others, except maybe at the orchestra. He’s so determined to climb back up to us that he’s swallowing it all. All the blame all the anger all the responsibility. Your worried about him becoming homicidal, when he’s actually su..”

       “Ha!” Gabriel interrupts him with an actual sincere, surprised laugh at something. “Did you see this Raph?” She holds up a scroll. While she interrupted on purpose because they had agreed not to tell Michael about Luci’s suicide attempt right now, she is genuinely amused. “Did you know there was this early Roman courtesan with the nickname Legion. Super high class, served the officers and was apparently very influential among the ranks. She was said to have serviced thousands but that's probably as much to counter her behind the scenes tactical mastermind reputation. You know like all those people who decided Cleopatra was actually beautiful.”

        “Gabriel.” Raphael snaps at her in exasperation. 

         “I don’t remember her from your confession.” Michael surprisingly accepts the change of subject. If a little catty about it. That strikes Raphael as vaguely suspicious.

        “Ha ha ha. No. I was staying the hell away from the whole mediterranean area around that time. Which was too bad. Upper class Rome had the best prostitutes at the time. I did get a whack at India’s glory days… that’s when Kali and I first hooked up.  Huh, I think she was actually there the same time as Sabb..ah, hmm.” Gabriel stops short and stuffs the scroll under the pile of papers. It’s definitely not the time to bring that up. Ever. Never. Michael gives her a suspicious look. “I think that’s around when Legion became legion officially. And Luci settled on Lucifer, the arrogant brat. What was legion called before? The demon horde, the swarm…”

       “Is any of this supposed to be helpful?” Raphael turns back to her.

       “No, not really.” Gabriel smiles. “Our little librarian just put that in because she thought I’d find it amusing. And I do.” She stands up again. “ now, dear sister, if you could unground us, one of us needs to escort Harahel down to Hell so she can search for more information about Legion. Now that Shelly’s taken over, we can go look up contracts and such without too much trouble. So if we look up all of Legions contracts we can get a sense of who and what we’re dealing with, and maybe where they might be hiding.

       “Of course we’d be able to ask Luci for all this valuable insight and information directly, as well as maybe even winning Ben’s cooperation in this if you hadn’t imprisoned them as well!” Gabriel doesn’t quite yell at Michael but it’s close. “And driven them off on their own where we can’t find them at all either. So are you going to actually work together with us as a family or would you rather leave us here and let every thing continue to go to hell.”

        Gabriel and Michael just stare at each other for a minute until Michael tightens his lips and averts his eyes, snapping them free. Gabriel gives the slightest of relieved sighs as does Raphael and they send the finished papers back to the library.

         “Why is the twins puppet theater up here?” Michael asks, noticing it by the tree. Raphael and Gabriel just glance at each other.

         “No reason.”

 

         “Mule “ The soft familiar voice is like music to his ears. “Samuel, can you hear me?” Her cool hand caresses his cheek as she coaxes him back to consciousness. “It’s alright. You’re alright. I’m here. I have you. You’re safe now. I’m here.” Mule can feel his head nestled in her arm as she just keeps stroking his cheek.

       “Helel,” he smiles opening his eyes. Her face is still the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. And her smile. “You’re alright .. Did.. Raphael came back?” The relieved kiss that he’s not sure which of them initiates puts the conversation on hold. “Ben. Where is he? Is he alright?” He remembers. If course she probably wouldn’t be kissing him if he wasn’t okay.

       “He’s safe. He’s sleeping. We’ll deal with this when he wakes.” Her words are punctuated by the trail of kisses she makes down his neck to his chest. “You scared me to death, you reckless, foolish man. Now are you going to make it up to me or do I need to give you a spanking.” She teases.

       “I scared you? You were frozen. You’re still a little cold. Are you sure you’re alright?” He looks her in the eyes brushing her hair out of her face.

       “I’m a little stiff, but I’m alright. I’ll be alright, I promise. But it’s not important right now. You’re worried and maybe a little angry. I’m angry and worried. Let’s just make up first and fight later.” The slightly trembling tone in her voice is what makes him give in. He’s safe and home and nothing is more comforting than losing himself in her arms, with mutual bliss and finallly beneath her thighs. 

       “I love you, Helel, you pain in the ass Angel.” He holds her close.

      “I love you too, my stubborn Mule.” she sighs, her head resting on his chest. “Don’t ever do anything like that again. You weren’t in your thread. You could have been lost to me. I might never have found you. And what if you had hurt Ben and the girl? You might have even killed them. What then? For that matter you removed your anti possession tattoo. I should carve it into your breastbone. That’s what I should so.” Helel tightens her grip. “But you let yourself get possessed! On purpose! It’s bad enough you shared your body with Harahel you let in a horde of condemned souls?” She lightly punches his arm, though not too lightly.

        “They had Ben.” Mule just accepts it. “I let Harahel in so I could see you and he could see Ben. He was spent by then as well. I had to make the deal.”

        “Did you? Have to? I can’t believe you let another angle use you without even asking me! And Harahel? How close are you two?” The jealousy is hardly unexpected.

        “Please don’t start. Not yet.” Mule pleads, not that it’s ever helped before when she’s determined to have her say. Much to his surprise she just gives a sigh.

       “You’re right, not now.” Helel sits up again and gently reaches down to stroke his chest. “How’s your soul? It doesn’t hurt or even ache a little?* he just shakes his head.

       “I feel wonderful.” Mule takes her hand and kisses it.

       “I never should have taught you how to do that. I should have known you’d do something stupid and reckless like you almost did. It’s supposed to be a last resort, not a weapon for murder-suicide. You have no idea what could have happened.”

       “It was a last resort. That monster… Do you know what they did to Ben? I couldn’t let them go free or even risk that.”

        “I know. Harahel told me, but it’s alright now. Everything’s alright. Ben is safe and we'll and we’ll work through this together.”

        “The both of us?”

        “We’re both his parents. He needs you every bit as much as I do. I know I can be difficult to work with sometimes but I’ll try to be a little less…”

       “Controlling?”

       “Unilateral in my decision making.” She crosses her arms. “Are you trying to start a fight?”

        “No, I’m not. I will try to be more involved but I still don’t know what I’m doing. Harahel is better at this than I am.

        “Ben’s your son, not Harahel’s. And mine.” Her jealousy hasn’t seemed to lessen as much as he’d hoped.

        “I thought you and Hara made up when you went to rescue him.” Mule sits up, adjusting her on his lap to do so.

        “Just because I don’t want my little brother to die doesn’t mean I’m alright with him stealing my family.”

        “No one is stealing anything from you. I’m yours and always will be. And so is Ben.”

        “You wouldn’t know it the way you keep lending your body out to every supernatural creature that wants it. You didn’t even tell me!”

        “I couldn’t, Helel. And I know your my wife, but even if I was required to get your approval on how to use my own damn body, there’s not always time to consult with you.”

        “There would be if you let me mark your soul. There’s be a connection between us that would let me know if someone was trying to interfere with you, body or soul. It would be like a little burglar alarm. Your soul would still be your own of course. It would just let me know when you’re in so much trouble you feel you have to do something that desperate and I could save you.”

       “Helel…”

       “Don’t ever scare me like this again. Understand?” Helel takes hold of his face. “I don’t want to control you, I just want to know when it gets this bad. Is that so much to ask? Is it really so unreasonable of me?”

        “No. It isn’t.” Mule admits with a sigh. “Alright. Just be quick? It really hurts.” he braces himself. “And try not to wiggle so much until after.”

        “Oh, no, don’t worry. I don’t have to do it like that.” Helel kisses his nose. “Just repeat after me. In the name of Lucifer, light bringer, I surrender myself to you and entrust you with the care and protection of my heart mind and soul. And please don’t be a smart ass about this.”

         “Just ‘to you’? That’s incredibly non specific. What if accidentally connect this security alarm to a fly passing in front of our eyes. Or a ghost in the ether coincidentally floating between us?” he teases as she doesn’t stay as still as he’d prefer.

         “ What did I just say? Okay, Mr. Sassy Pants, if you want to be more specific you can say ‘the woman who’s thighs are devouring my loins’ buy Helel Ben Sahar won’t work for this and you’re not calling me Lucifer more than absolutely neccisary. Got it?” she scowls.

          “Alright darling, but remember if you abuse this, we are going to have problems.” He kisses her palm. “In the name of Lucifer, light bringer, I surrender myself to you, the woman who’s thighs are devouring my loins, and entrust you with my heart, mind and soul.”

        “There.” Helel smiles and kisses him again. “Was that so hard?”


	64. The Wrong Path

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben looks for and finds Legion.
> 
> The nightingale helps Luci prepare for his confrontation.

      “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” Ben’s angry, concerned voice is like music to their ears as the scout bows down before him. 

      “Your forgiveness, please. The rest of us are occupied with coming to an agreement with your father.”

       “Holding Riley hostage isn’t going to win you any brownie points with either of us, Legion.” Ben snaps. “What were you thinking? Where are you all? And where’s Riley?”

        “We are just scouts, sir, and can’t speak for all of us, but it feels like a decision bourne of terrified desperation. Our very existence is in jeopardy, after all.” the scout keeps their vessel bowed in supplication. “Please don’t forsake us.” The desperate plea stokes Ben’s compassion making uncertain feelings even more conflicted.

       “I…” he fights to know what to say. “I won’t. Just get up will you?” Ben bends over to pull them to their feet. “Take me to the rest of you before someone spots us.”

       “Yes, sir. Whatever you wish, Ben Harahel “ the scout leads him to a small circle of rocks. When they step into it, they step out into a small forest.

        “We don’t have much time.” Ben protests as they head for another portal. “Riley’s father is coming for her soon and…”

        “It’ll be alright, Ben Harahel. They’re safe where they are. And we can protect you from him.” The scout stops walking and turns to clasp Ben’s hands. “We just need a few more moments to prepare “

       “You… I’m not in danger.” Ben’s taken a bit by surprise at the suggestion. “Not like that, not… physically. “

       “Ben, you are in the most danger. You have something he wants, and you won’t be safe while he’s out there, free, and knows you exist bearing his grace.”

        “His grace?” Ben outs a hand to his throat. “He wouldn’t… I mean it’s not like he hasn’t had the opportunity already if he did. You’re both just afraid that the other is a danger to me, that’s all. We can clear it all up if we just talk about this. You’re not what you each think each other is. Not any more. People change, they grown and not just worse either. He has so I know you can, too. If you’ll just have a little faith in me.” The beautiful sincerity in Ben’s soulful blue eyes makes the scout want to melt. 

         “This way.” They turn back and lead Ben through the forest. It doesn’t matter, it will be over soon enough.

 

         “You’re actually going through with this?” Bree asks again as she finishes burning the sigils into Luci’s skin while her brother continues to apply his makeup.

         “Of course I am.” Luci replies. “Asking me over and over again won’t change my answer. Or undo any sigils.”

         “I meant waiting eight hours or whatever to give Ben a chance to convince Legion to let Riley go or otherwise prove their good intentions.”

        “Yes, I am.”

        “That’s kind of cruel. It’s hard enough to save one condemned soul, much less a horde of them and not in eight hours.”

         “Not in years. Eight hours is just how long it’ll take to get this all done. Ben thinks Legion is already redeemable or trying to be redeemed. He’s just trying to figure out how to prove it. Given the time he’s spent in hell and how much he’s grown, Ben’s had ample time to bond with and influence them. If what he believes is true, and for all I know it could be... I mean I have been wrong about people before, who can be saved and who can save them… especially when it comes to Winchesters. But eight hours is more than enough time for that. But never mind this mess. How have you been?” It’s a sore subject apparently. But never mind that.

       “That’s good.” Bree ignores his attempt to change the subject. “Ben is a good kid and you shouldn’t screw with him, you know.” She goes back to reheat the needle. “You know, I am absolutely amazed you can do your hair and make-up while I’m doing this.”

      “Why? I can do it with PMS, this is no harder.”

      “That… cramps are not as bad as being branded with hot irons,” Bree protests. “Lift your arm. I’m running out of space and need some underboob.” She nudges Luci’s left elbow. He obliges.

      “We have two very different bodies and yes, it is. Remember Raphael made this one before we'd improved our relationship. He says he didn’t make it that cramoy on purpose so he didn’t, but he sure as hell didn’t put any special thought and concern into my comfort and ease of use, that’s for damn sure.” This gets a laugh out of Bree, which Luci ignores. “And I’m really asking you. How are you doing, Bree?”

        “Well, as you’re not going to let it go,” starts the irritated reply. “Aside from my husband leaving me, Michael’s been all weird. She’s trying to be nice to me. Make up, be sisters again. As if we were ever anything to each other worth being. She always hated me. From the very beginning. The only reason she’s trying now is to try and make up with Raphael. She doesn’t love me. She doesn’t care about me. She’s just trying to be a Good Sister and a Good Person and just good good good good good again to make up for going crazy and trying to remake all of earth and humanity. I’m just something to check off her moral to do list.”

       “This is Michael we’re talking about, paseh. Not me.” Helel chides her. “And she did not hate you from the beginning. She didn’t even resent and reject you from the start like I did Raphael. I just took you and made you adore me the way Raphael adored Michael. I tried to at least. 

      “Did you frustrate her? Yes. Did you get on her nerves, piss her off, make jokes at the absolute wrong times, and completely and utterly bewilder and frustrate her sometimes? Of course. But she always loved you and always cared about you. It’s just that Michael gets cranky when she feels guilty and she’s dumb and bossy and does not know how to share the burden when the stakes are high.”

        “Yeah, I know.” Bree snaps, “Is that supposed to … oops, shit. I’m sorry, it’s not an error, just a dot and a strip both well out of frame. The spells are intact I promise.”

        “Alright.” Luci pat’s the nightingale’s head. 

        “While I’m here, can I put a little nightingale on your side-boob?” Bree gives a smile. 

         “Where on my side boob?” Luci narrows her eyes.

         “Here?” Bree pokes. “I’m almost done with everything else.”

         “Fine, but not branded, use permanent marker instead.” Helel concedes. “After the rest is done.”

         “Woohoo!” Bree throws her hands in the air. “I always like to sign my work. So speaking of this little task you’ve set me. I can’t help but notice that these things take a lot of power you don’t have to activate. Like a white goat’s worth of power at least.”

        “I can use Legion’s.” Helel informs her. “I just have to get close enough that’s all. Without being killed. Which is why I need queen Esther levels of charm and beauty.”

        “That shouldn’t be too hard.”

       “No, it won’t be. So. How’s the reformation going?”

        “What reformation? Mine?  Oh please, I’m just stuck back with rules and people who can enforce them. I’m not in pain anymore. Dad’s gone. Not that it matters to me. He only made me because you wouldn’t stop being a jealous brat to Raph. I was literally made for Raphael’s happiness and he doesn’t want me anymore. I still feel like shit all of the time, and now he won’t be here to make any of it the least bit better. 

         “There’s more to do and it’s all harder and funnier and more delicious. It’s a little easier to behave, but what’s the point? I don’t have anything anymore. When Ben finds out about my little jealous fit way back when, he’s not going to be happy. I won’t even get to see him soon. It’ll be summer soon or at least spring break I forget. But I’m not allowed in the same town as his cousins. Helel won’t be the least inclined to let Ben see me after all of this, or make him forgive me after that whole letting him take sanctuary in hell thing.”

         “What about Claire and Denny?” Luci prods. “You’re close to them, aren’t you?”

         “Claire’s doing well. Their inn is doing great. She’s been great to me if only for Raph’s sake, but he’s gone now. And it’s starting to hurt to look at her now.” Bree slumps down, sitting on her knees, a despondent look on her face. “I could talk to Raph before, but he still never really understood. I did my best to make him happy. I really did. But he still left me and now I have nothing and no one. I’d send myself to the abyss but what’s the point? 

       “I dunno, maybe if I keep going I’ll stumble on something or someone that’ll make me feel okay for a little while. There’s so much still out there to try. I mean they come up with new recreational drugs every day it seems. There are so many people too. Even Mule made me happy sometimes when we were together. It was all a lie, on my end of course. But I mean, if he could do it, someone else probably can. At least for a little while. There’s always something that will make me feel good for at least a little while.”

        “Oh my little Bree,” Luci gracefully kneels down in front of her. “I know it can be so hard and feel like nothing is worthwhile at all. But you… you have such great potential, such wonderful gifts and you’ll find there are things that can make you happy. True happiness not just transient pleasure. I have faith in you, paseh.” He hugs her tightly, ignoring the discomfort and smudged makeup. 

         “Don’t give up and just go after drugs and flesh. I’ve sent so many people after those empty hollow illusions of happiness to destroy them. I know what they are and I don’t want you throwing yourself away on them. I know there are a million ways to be bad and they can all feel so very good. But there are a million ways to be good, too and they can be just as pleasant. I have no fucking clue beyond that, but you can find  way to be yourself and be good and be happy. I know you can, I see it every day. And you don’t need Raphael for that.”

       “I know, but I love him. And why couldn’t he let me care about him? I wanted to be the one to take care of him in his time of need not that harpy Azrael.” Bree buries her face in Luci’s neck. “He didn’t even give me a chance to. He must not have thought I could.”

        “I think he just didn’t want to burden you and beyond that didn’t have anything left to give, that’s all. What he’d want is for you to take care of yourself and try to become a better you.” Luci tries to reassure her, but it falls flat. So she just kisses her sister’s counterpart on the cheek and helps her to her feet. “I’m sorry I can’t be much help. I’m still trying to understand things and feel it’s all worthwhile myself. All I know is that no matter how bad it is, things are still better for everyone I care about. Beyond that I helped create something wonderful, so even failing, the attempting was worth it. The little joys and moments of happiness. They’re all better than what I felt before, so much less of that bitter poisonous aftertaste. It makes it easier to endure.” Luci takes some wipes from the nearby makeup try to wipe the lipstick and foundation from Bree’s face. 

       “Your makeup is still almost entirely intact. How did you do that?” Bree gives an impressed slightly bewildered look. 

       “Practice. I do need to touch up a little though. And you need to go wash your face.” Luci says a little apologetically, getting a snicker from her. “Oh, hush.” 

       “You know, I think you’d make a great st. Lucifer.” Bree says quietly. Luci just shoots her a dark look. “ no, I mean it. You’d be a great patron saint of the fallen. Better than Helel, because you understand what it’s like to fall from grace. You’ve done it. She still hasn’t fallen, really. She just thinks she has. What has she done? That war crime against Raphael? Anyone left has just forgiven and forgotten all about that. At the first sign of remorse it was as if it never happened. She should have fallen for that but she wasn’t. Only Michael and Raphael haven’t really forgiven her for that. Even me… I should hate her for it but I don’t. 

       “And then what crime did she commit? She fell in love, and in her darkest moment gave into carnal desires tied up in love and need and  affection, then got pregnant and died from it. That’s not a fall. That’s a vacation bible school PSA from the nineteen fifties. She was never rejected, outcast or condemned for it. She was never alone the way we were. Well the way you were. I always had Raphael before. Anyways she never really had the full, genuine hopeless sinner experience. Not really. “ When Bree finishes wiping the make up from her face, she goes to get the dress for Luci. “Do we really need the veil?”

      “The whole thing. I’m going full shock and awe here. Besides, I told Michael before we married she’d only see me in this dress twice, the first day of our marriage and the last. Maybe she’s breaking her vows, but I’m sure as hell keeping mine.” Luci says coldly, clearly not as sanguine about the impending divorce as he’s trying to seem.

        “This little trigger right here.” Bree touches a small line under his heart, a magical deadman switch.“That’s just a contingency plan Z type of thing right?”

        “Of course. I always have contingency plans.” Luci steps into the dress. “Speaking of which you have the broach?” He asks as Bree helps fasten the bodice of the dress around him. In reply she takes it out of her pocket and fastens it is between Luci’s breasts. “Thank you. Nothing’s showing?”

       “No.”

       “Alright. Now remember. Ben has to watch, but Riley does not. If you can’t get her out of there. If things get bad, please don’t let her watch.” Luci looks intently into Bree’s eyes making the nightingale incredibly uncomfortable.

       “I’ll do my best. I promise.” Bree agrees reluctantly. “Hold on let me go get that stupid veil.”

 

       It takes less than half an hour for Ben to reach the cabin, but given he’d been searching for over six, it’s not much of a comfort. He can feel the odd noise of a barrier being struck, though it’s more like the vibrations of a low bass. Louder and more clear is an obscene suggestion of what Legion can go do to himself with a very creative use of their souls and a dirty toaster. He rushes in the door in time to see Legion collapse to the floor in strange convulsions.

        “Dad!” Ben is to him in an instant.

        “Ben, stop! That’s a demon!” Riley shouts, pressing against the nothing holding her in  

         “Legion… Dad.. Speak to me!” Ben grabs their shoulders. Something's going on, something unstable and dangerous.

         “They need power.” The scout runs over beside them. “Feed us or they’ll all die.”

         “NO!” Riley cries as Ben manifests his wings, pulling them from the ether into glowing almost blindingly bright white feathers like the sun reflecting off the snow and wraps them around himself and his father’s body. “DON’T FUCKING HELP THEM!”

          Riley picks up the chair and smashes it against the magical barrier accomplishing nothing but knocking herself backwards. A corner of the chair scrapes her cheek. Ben ignores her and tries to concentrate on how Legion and his father's energy should feel, but it’s hard to focus and he doesn't even know if it’ll accomplish anything anyways. But if imagining his hand the way it should be can make it that way this should work as well.

        “BEN! THAT'S NOT YOUR FATHER! YOU'RE HELPING DEMONS! DON'T HELP DEMONS! THAT'S RULE NUMBER ONE OF THE NO SHIT BOOK OF COMMON FUCKING SENSE!”

        “SHUT UP!!” Ben manages to shout her down. “Just stay put and shut up!” Riley just stares at them for a moment, and sits down hard on the floor. “It’s not just a demon and it’s not just my dad. It’s all of them!” Ben holds the stilling body tightly to his chest. “Dad… can you hear me? Are you alright? Say something.”

         “You came.” Legion wraps his arms around Ben’s neck, hugging him tightly. “Thank the gods for you.”

         “It’s okay.” Ben gives a sigh of relief, exhaustion starting to overtake him as he puts his wings away. If Legion is alright, so is his father. “You’re okay.”


	65. Siblings are a Pain in the Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley and Ben fail to properly bond  
> Michael pisses of his younger siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the rely I've been in the hospital for the past month or so and unable to type stuff up. I'll try to get it all up quickly.

            “What did you do to him?” Riley demands as Legion places the unconscious Ben down on the bed in the corner.

            “Nothing. He is simple sleeping off his generosity but for him we all could have died,“ Legion cooly informs her, before kissing Ben’s forehead. “Isn’t he beautiful?”

            “I’m ten.”

            “Your nine.”

            “Almost ten and he’s thirteen and my half brother. So, given the creepy way you said it… no.” Riley responds flatly.

            “All the more your loss. He is at the height of perfection right now. “

            “HEY BEN!” Riley shouts, “UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE MOLESTED IN YOUR SLEEP I’D WAKE UP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! “ the shout startles Ben awake.

            “Wait… Riley… what?” He put a his hand to his eyes.

            “There is no need to concern yourself, Ben. You can rest. I’ll keep you safe while you regain your strength.” Legion reassures him.

            “No, um, no. We don’t have time for a nap.” He sits up, and shrugs his wings back into the ether, a bit clumsily as he loses a few feathers in the process. “Are you alright? Is everyone alright in there?”

            “I’m a little drained myself but yes. Everyone is fine. How do you feel?”

             “I need sugar.” Ben confesses. Legion pauses to consider

          “Well? Go get him something. I mean what self respecting pedophile doesn’t have a lair filled with candy and toys.” Riley says before Legion can reply. Legion gives her a dark look that she gives right back to him. They glance at the scout who nods and leaves their cabin 

            “Why is Riley in an invisible cage?” Ben demands watching her lean against it.

         “We thought a visible one might upset you.”

         “My sibling being caged at all upsets me. Everything about her being here with you upsets me.” Ben frowns. “Why did you take her? What were you thinking? And why are you wearing my father? Can I talk to him? I want him to tell me what’s going on.”

         “He’s a little... worn out.” Riley catches the brief smirk on Legions face, though Ben doesn’t. “I’ll have him come out once he’s recovered a little. But it’s alright now, Ben. We’ve reached an understanding.”

         “I doubt that.” Ben slowly sits up. “How can he understand when I don’t even… look, about that thing earlier. You meant well, I know, but don’t… don’t ever do that again.” 

          “Anything you wish of me, Ben Harahel. We were afraid, We thought you’d abandoned us, You never came for us or tried to find us until just now.” Legion makes themselves sound outright pathetic,

          “Oh that is just bullshit! No he didn’t think that.” Riley’s dry comment gets Ben’s attention again, “He’s manipulating you, Ben. Because he’s a demon and that’s what they do, Or is being lonely enough to make you okay with hm trying to abduct Chris, actually kidnapping me, or KILLING ALICE! Or didn’t he tell you about that!” she sits on the floor in a cross legged cross armed pile of semi righteous fury. 

            “No, it’s… it’s okay, Riley,” Ben gets up a bit shakily. “Riley, she’s alright. Alice is just fine. Your mother got there in time and she’s alright.” He sits down near her, “Chris is okay. Everyone is safe and sound.”His attempt to reassure her is less reassuring since she’s trapped in an invisible circle of whatever’s trapping her.”Even you are okay, Everyone is safe and sound,”he repeats as if it’s somehow more believable if he keep saying it in a soft tone that’s enough like her father’s to be annoying. “Even you, Legion let her out of whatever containment this is.”

            “I can’t. “ Legion rests their head on the side of the bed. “Not yet. Let me rest, of course she’ll be able to pass through just fine on her own when she stops wanting to hurt me.” 

         “Well that’s not going to be any time soon.” Riley clenches her teeth. “I can’t wait until mom gets here.”

        “Riley, I know this is hard to understand, but legion is a friend of mine and I don’t want them destroyed. I do

t want my father destroyed either. Look, I…. I know I haven’t been your brother long, but I`m asking you to trust me.”

         “Oh, yes so Alice, your big sister’s heart and sanity, my new sister, who’s pretty much been shit on by life without selling her soul… she gets hurt and almost killed, that’s just fine. But the demon who hurt her for no good reason while trying to kidnap our brother, who is currently holding me hostage, we must protect him at all costs. Is that it?”

         “I don’t  want anyone to get hurt, Riley,” Ben insists.

         “Well, it’s too late! We’ve already been hurt,“Riley’s eyes start to well with tears despite her best efforts. “I want to go home, Ben.  I don’t want to be bat or a hostage or a safeguard. I want to go home and I want my mom and I want to see for myself that Alice is okay, and Chris. Okay?”She looks up at him with a pout that rips his heart out, “I’m tired and I’m having cramps still and I really need to go to the bathroom and not just for a new tampon. And I want my dad. Please just take me home” 

          “I will. As soon as Legion’s gotten some rest, they’ll undo this and I’ll take you home. I`m not going to stay. Your mother locked me up and put me in restraints.” Ben can’t keep the resentment from his voice.

          “Probably because you’re being a complete and utter idiot,” Riley clearly has no faith in any of what he just said, She just rests her head on the barrier.

          “I’m trying to save them, Riley, Everyone deserves to be saved, Even them, just like your father did and was. Do you really think their crimes compare?”Ben puts a hand over where Riley’s head is. Riley just glances over at hi a second before giving a defeated sigh and looks away again. He’s not just an idiot, he’s an arrogant, sheltered, bleeding heart, naive, and unworldly idealistic idiot.

           “If I die it’ll be all your fault.” Riley closes her eyes.

           “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.” she lets her stupid, stupid older brother kiss near her cheek without protest.

            “Your father will be here within the hour anyways. I’ll make sure to send you home with him.”Ben promises.

            “You know that will only end in blood shed an dad won’t care much about your father and his body either.” Riley sullenly points out.

            “I know.” Ben says quietly, “But I know he’s trying to do better and be a better person. We’re all just trying to do the right thing.”   

            “He’s not.”Riley straightens up and turns around. “You’re an idiot.”

            “Here,” Ben slowly creates a large beanbag chair and makes her lift up, and  putting her on it.

            “Ben Harahel. I’ve brought you sustenance.” The scout coms over, handing him a bag. “And for your sister as well.”

           “Can you let her out of this?” Ben asks the non drowsy piece of Legion before him.

           “I can expand it and give you through way passage.” The scout says tentatively.

           “Alright. Let it surround the house and the bathroom. Here.” Ben takes a small thing of pads out of the bag. “Pretty sure these are for you.”

           “These are panty liners…” Riley tightens her lips. “No girls in there are there?” Ben doesn’t seem to understand. “Never mind. Dad gave me the hitchhiker’s guide to emergency sanitation before he left. I ’ ll make do.” she storms off to the bathroom as Ben takes a bite of a three musketeers bar.

            “We were wrong to take her,” the scout says quietly. “But if we let her go, she’ll just bring her mother back here and that won’t go well for any of us.”  

            “I’ll blindfold her. Don’t you trust me?” 

            “Of course we do. But we don’t want you to put yourself in danger.”

            “They won’t hurt me.” Ben reassures them.

            “They’ll take you away from us. Try to poison you against us. Angels are not above using extreme, persuasive measures for their cause. If they think it’s in your best interests, in humanities best interest. The greater good excuses a lot of little evils. We don’t want you to be a casualty of that in any way, body or mind,” The scout looks pleadingly into Ben’s eyes.

            “I’ll be okay, I promise. “Ben hugs them, “ And so will you.” 

            “How did any Lucifer in any realm sire so genuinely sweet and innocent a boy as you?”The scout lifts Ben’s chin when he breaks away. “We would give the world to you, We would bring joy and love and tenderness into your life if you’d let us . We could give you anything. Anyone you wanted.” They lean into give Ben a kiss, draping themselves in an illusion of Abigail. “However you wanted,” They stroke Ben’s blushing uncomfortable cheek, when suddenly a used tampon wrapped in toilet paper smacks them on the ear dissolving the illusion with a bit of a cringe from the scout.

             “You know what? Never mind about going home.” Riley stands angrily in the bathroom doorway. “I want to see you two explain this. Really.” She gives Legions spare parts a hard look. Of course. Of course, Ben is a naive stupid hormonal teenage boy. Of course he’d be manipulating Ben that way. “Actually I can’t wait to hear what Abgail will have to say about this.” Ben actually turns pale at the statement. Well, that explains all of this alot better than she’d prefer.  Stupid, stupid boys. Maybe she can talk Chrs into taking puberty blockers so she won’t have to deal with this in a few years,

 

             “Are you alright?” Michael asks as the angel beside him looks so troubled.

             “Yes.” Harahel replies nervously. “Are you?”

             “I’m fine.” Michael says curtly the librarian looks more tense now. “ No one will hurt you here. I’m here to protect you.” He tries to reassure her but she doesn’t look reassured. The fact that the demon record keeper gives Harahel a sympathetic glance doesn’t help her mood any. “Raphael,” Michael calls and leaves to find his brother. He’s huddled over a contract with Gabriel, whispering to each other not a little suspiciously. “Raphael go guard our angel. It seems I’m making her nervous.” Michael explains when Raphael raises an eyebrow. Gabriel of course is grinning ear to ear and tried to sneak the contract the were reading out of sight.

             “I’ll oversee them.” Raphael takes the scroll from her and tries to take it back with the other used ones, but Michael grabs it out of the pile as Raphael passes by.

              “You don’t need to see that one,” Gabriel snaps a long black bar over the contents of the contract as Michael unrolls it. “There’s no new information and we’re in a highly flammable place.” Michael ignores her and removes the illusory obstruction. 

              “Anonymous Livia Nemo? That can’t be her birth name,” Michael frowns.

              “Well, with a smart ass orphanage matron or something,”Gabriel shrugs. “Luci’s always been good at respecting chosen names over given ones, She sold her soul to become a general for a small city state that was later incorporated into Athens shortly after her death. It was an army for some drunken lord with more soldiers than he knew how to use. She was murdered once she started winning wars of conquest.” Michael just looks at Gabriel until she just shuts up and waits for him to finish.

               This woman did not sell her soul. This is a receipt not a contract. Becoming a general was payment for services rendered. Which is odd because he was far more likely to destroy that which he had no more use for, especially humans. What services rendered?  As Michael goes on , he finds himself reading a detailed description of the events and preparations made for Sabbat. That infamous decadent ogry of all sorts of pleasure and perversion that everyone thinks of when they hear about Black Sabbat,  The procured vessel, the procured willing partners, the unwilling partners, the personal service of Livia herself with Lucifer’s initiation to the pleasure’s of the flesh.

                “You know,”Gabriel starts taking as the scroll starts to smoke a little in Michael’s hands.”This was like… a million solar years ago.”

                “No it wasn’t. Not even close.”

                “Well, it was after your first divorce anyways nad you know it’s not like e was in love with anyone or anything. It was just one more way of telling you and Dad to go fuck yourselves. Are you really going to let this bother you? Now? After all this time?”

              “Yes, Gabriel, I am going to let myself be bothered by the act my husband lost his virginity to a roman prostitute in a giant pagan orgy, Especially as he made her part of his ultimate demonic weapon.  No he put her in charge of his ULTIMATE WEAPON The one he is now heading towards. I feel extremely JUSTIFIED in feeling bothered by this!” Michael turns the bottom part of the scroll around for Gabriel to see.

               “Oh wow.” Gabriel winces just before the scroll bursts into flames.”Oh for… Michael this is why you make librarian’s nervous.” Gabriel quickly snuffs the air out around it. Fortunately it’s not burned.  Luci would make his contracts Michael-proof. “Calm down. I really don’t see what practical effect this has on a situation. Legion still either desperately loves him or viciously hates him.”

                “And what if he still has feelings for her?”

                “Michael….”Gabriel pinches the bridge of her nose. “That’s... no… It’s…. no…. What the… I don’t even know where to begin on how to tell you everything wrong with what you just said.” She gives an exhasperated sigh, “And I thought Luci had the monopoly on irrational jealousy.”

                “I don’t care if he wants to deny it, but the first time is special and so is the first person. This gives him  temptation beyond just power, Gabriel.”

                “For a light in the darkness. You’re married. And he has no interest in anyone else. Not everyone views their first time that way. Mine was a hilarious disaster. There wasn’t a speck of love involved just curiosity and boredom and a feeling of just to hell with it. I’m already in deep shit what else do I have to lose. Besides you’re his first love.”

                 “That might be reassuring if we weren’t getting divorced.” Michael snaps forgettung that he didn’t tell anyone yet. 

                “Div… What?”

                “We’re getting a divorce. I’m filing papers in the morning.” Michael sits down at the table, his face in his hands.

               “When did you decide this? And more importantly when were you going to tell us this very important fact? Because you two divorcing is going to fuck things more than any other factor you can think of. Especially with you imprisoning him. Again. Damn it! No wonder he’s been suicidal. Though I have to admit him not going on a murderous rampage this time says a lot to his progress.” Gabriel pressrs her fists into her eyes. “I hate you two so much sometimes, you don’t even know.”

       “Suicidal? He’s not suicidal. If he’s even claiming to be he’s just… Trying to manipulate your sympathies.” Michael refuses to consider otherwise, the stubborn overbearing asshole she is.

      “No, he isn’t. He actually tried, alright? I hate Mondays because of how stubbornly defiantly suicidal he can be. It figures Raph only curbs his little tattle tale tendencies now and when it comes to Luci.”

     “It’s called keeping a confidence, and I can keep a confidence just fine thank you.” Raphael calls from the other rooms. And I didn’t tell you because you would have reacted the same way Michael’s reacting now. Only you’d be conflicted and make things worse. I don’t think Michael can make things worse at this point.” 

      “You couldn’t tell me about the divorce at least?” Gabriel is too upset to appreciate Raphael’s criticism of Michael,though their elder sibling is certainly taking note. 

       “I didn’t know!”

       “I just decided yesterday.” Michael says quietly. There is complete and utter silence at this, worse than anything that could be said. “And I already gave the papers to our lawyer to file today.”

       “Does Luci know he’s getting divorced?” Raphael asks cooly.

       “You just decided. Did you talk to him about it? Did you actually decide that NOW is the BEST time to do this? Did you even consider what this might do to him? Being rejected by you. Again. This way at this time! You… are as stupidly self centered as he is sometimes and just as arrogant. In fact I’m pretty sure that's where he learned it from.” Gabriel storms out of the room back towards the librarians. “Ms. We were made for each other. No one else could ever be enough. No because nobody else could ever put up with either of you! Raph! We’re switching places.”

     Michael just crosses his arms. There’s no talking to the impudent little shits right now. Especially not Gabriel when she gets like this. And his husband is not suicidal he’s just being manipulative and trying to gain sympathy. That’s not a thing he feels not anymore. Michael… he’d be able to tell just as much this time as the last.


	66. Family Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben continues reaching out to Riley, Bree isn't sure she likes this whole thing. Luci makes an entrance. Livia comes out to play.

   “Are you comfortable?” Ben asks as Riley sits sullenly in the bean bag he created for her.

    “Bite me.”

    “I saved you the Twix and the Kit Kat. I know those are your favorites.”

     “Yeah when I have CHRIS to share them with.” She doesn’t move to take them so he just puts them by her lap.

     “And you like orange soda?” He puts the can near her, too.

     “None of this is going to make up for aiding and abetting my kidnapper. Especially when I’m still kidnapped.” Riley glares at him.

     “Riley…”

     “ Uh-uh. No. Just because someone’s willing to play with your dangly bits doesn’t make them a good person, Ben. That’s a demon. They’re not good people. You can’t be a good person and become a demon. That's part of the rules. They are the worst of the worst. As in it died as a bad person or people or whatever and then became worse. I mean you’re thirteen , Ben. That thing is thousands of years old. How would you feel if... It… they’re adults. They’ve been adults so long they can’t possibly confuse you for a grown person. Which means them having sex with you makes them exponentially worse people than anything else!”

      “It’s not… I… You don’t know what you’re talking about so just stop.” Ben pleads more upset than angry but definitely both. “Legion?” He gets up and walks to where the scout abandoned the body to rejoin with the rest. “I’ve let you rest as much as I can, but either undo the barrier or tell me how to, because I’m alright now.”

      “I’ll free her when her father comes for her. I’m not letting them capture you again.” Legion sits up, gently admonishing Ben for the suggestion.

      “Legion, please, as a show of good faith. I know you not the monster they’ve forced you to be. I know you want to be better. But how can I prove it if you’re doing things like this.”

      “It doesn’t matter, I’m not going anywhere. I want to watch my parents fuck that bastard up six ways from Sunday.” Riley says cooly, staring daggers at Legion.

      “Don’t you trust me?” Ben pleads.

      “Of course I do. I know you mean every word that you say, but you’re not experienced enough to carry it out “ Legion walks over and pats Ben’s head  “The barrier does envelop the entire house so she’s free to m..” The soda can bounces off Legions skull. Only a slight twitching of his cheek Indicates how close they are to just walking over to the little devil spawn and ripping her head from her shoulders.

   “Just checking.” Riley says innocently. Would it be worth it? Maybe. It’s not as if they could get in worse trouble, not really. But they’d lose Ben if they ate his little sister's heart and liver out of pure spite. That's the thing about siblings do what they will to each other no one else is allowed to. Oh if they had the time to corrupt Ben enough to make him do it.  That…

     “Riley stop it!” at least the boy sounds mad. “You are not helping!”

     “ I’m not trying to help. I’m trying to be as difficult and uncooperative as possible.”

      “She’s still alive and neither crippled not mutilated. I think that should be a fairly impressive enough show of good faith. “ Legion snarls.

      “No, it’s not.” Ben grabs their arm. “And if we can’t prove your sincerity to reformation, her father won’t help us.”

      “Lucifer has no intention of helping us. He wants to either use or destroy us “Legion gives an exasperated sigh.

      “He promised he would help me save you and give ownership of you to me.” Ben states desperately. It feels like cheating to tell him but it was never said that he couldn’t. Legion just looks at him with a sort of affectionate pity. “ He gave us eight hours to prepare. Most of which I spent trying to find you! And trying to think what to do. Letting Riley go now before you have to, is a start.”

      Legion just looks at Ben. The boy believes it. The same pig headed naivete that mad Ben so easy for them to manipulate is making him difficult now. Of course Lucifer would have taken advantage of it as well, now that Ben’s anger at his mother has ebbed. It didn’t last nearly as long as he’d hoped. But any Lucifer is a master manipulator no matter what the circumstances.

       “I’ll remove the barrier if you promise to stay with me and let a price of me escort her someplace far away from here “ Legion says quietly.

       “Alright.” Ben nods.

       “Hell no!” Riley exclaims. “I’m not leaving you here with that thing and I’m not going off with a part of it either  I’m not crazy or stupid like you seem to be. As soon as I’m out of your reach, he’ll do things to me…” for the briefest moment, the brat seems to be aware of just how helpless she is and just what Legion could and would do to her the second they thought they could get away with it. Ben might night even believe her at that point.

      “Fine!” Ben snaps at her. “It’s up to you! Stay or leave but he’s setting you free right now and offering you a way home so don’t forget that. Legion ?”

      “It’s done “ Legion says serenely, not doing a damn thing

      “I’m going to the bathroom.” Ben angrily walks off, slamming the door behind him.

      “So I take it you’re my willing possession now?” Legion smirks at Riley who stares right back, having regained whatever illusion of confidence and bravery she’d momentarily lost.

      “I’m going to watch you die.” The cold anticipation in her voice, chills them slightly, mostly because the statement loosens the tension in her shoulders and she draws herself up straight as she can. She’s a tall nine. Even when. They walk over and grab her by the hair pulling her head back to look up at them. She’s just a little girl. A ballsy little girl and when they leans down bringing his face close to hers, they finally feels her tremble a little.

      “You’ll watch somebody die, little girl. That much is true.”

 

       “I’m not a hundred percent sure this will work.” Bree warns Luci as they prepare a more narrowly targeted kinship spell.

       “It should. I’d have never thought to put these things together but it makes sense when you look at it through a different light.” Luci praises her. “You always were a creative one.you and Raphael. Not human creative but you have more to work with and didn’t need to be.”

     “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say anything actually complementary about humanity as a whole before.” Bree looks at Luci a little astonished and moves the bowl away before Luci can add the final ingredient. “You don’t have to do this.”

     “I made them, so yes I do have to.”

     “You don’t have to do this alone. Go to Michael calm her down. Don’t do this. Alone “ Bree holds the bowl to her chest.

      “You’re coming with me, aren’t you? Or have you changed your mind? It’s alright if you have “ Luci says softly.

      “You know what I mean. You need Michael or Raphael or the other me. Someone who can do something when things go bad.” She backs up a little. “And don’t talk to me about your contingency plan. I hate your contingency plan. I hate the fact that you even came up with a plan like that. It’s a terrible horrible, no good, very bad, unforgivable plan and… look, if you don't want to call your Michael call mine. I’ll call her if you want just…”

      “You don’t have to be worried about Mr, Bree. I love my family and they love me and even if something did happen, they would never stop until I’m with them again.” Luci reassures her, still calm. “Please bring back the bowl so we can go rescue the children.” He holds out his hand with soft pleading eyes, every bit the vision of loveliness and divine splendor he intended to be. “Please. Gabriel. You’re the one I could trust and rely on. At least I thought so.”

      Bree gives a deep but shaky sigh and gives it back to her.

     “Alright…” Bree moves close to her and watches as Luci takes a hair from both their heads and adds it in calling to their youngest kin. A portal opens up on the wall across from them. Bree quickly picks up the end of the dress and carries it through the portal after Luci. Hopefully any blood from the brands won’t bleed through onto the dress too soon. Of course knowing Luci he probably scotch guarded the fuck out of the thing.

       The first thing she notices is a body in the corner of some woman, fairly pretty middle aged, but with eyes that look permanently exhausted and strained, with a certain world weariness even in the empty stare of the dead. On the bed next to it, Legion wearing Mule is speaking quietly with Ben. They can’t hear what’s being said because Riley is wondering out loud, very loud, how Legion is going to be destroyed in very creative and worrisome detail. Maybe Ben’s not the only child in need of therapy.

       “Excuse me,” Luci sweetly, politely Interrupts the conversations. “But I believe you have something that belongs to me.”

      “DAD!” Riley runs over and hugs him tightly around the waist. He doesn’t even flinch. “What the hell took you so long?” Despite the bravado in her voice, Bree can hear how close she is to crying.

       “Your mother locked me in the I terrogation room, and of course this doesn't just happen.” Luci gestures to himself and lifts his daughters chin to plant a round silver kiss on her forehead.

       “Are you going to kill him?” Riley asks with inappropriately eager anticipation. “Can I watch?”

       “No, you can’t watch.” Luci gently scolds her looking more like his counterpart than Bree has ever seen him. Its mostly the soft loving smile. “You’re still very young and while you will inrvita my be scarred for life, I’m not going to be the one to do it. Bree, take Riley home, would you?” He prods Riley over to the nightingale.

       “But da-a-ad!”

       “No. Besides it might not even happen.” Luci says sternly. “ I promised Ben I’d try and help if legion can be helped. “

        “What!” Riley exclaims.

        “C’mon Kiddo.” Bree gently starts to lead her away, but ends up leading her face first into a barrier blocking the doorway. “Oh, geez, kid.” She tries not to snicker more than she already did at the moment of a impact.“Sorry about that. I swear that wasn’t on purpose.”

        “Ben come take care of your sister’s nose.” Luci kneels down and takes off one of his gloves to hold to the nose of the child reduced to tears at this final stressful event completely breaking her bravado. “It’s alright honey. You’ve handled yourself very well. I’m so proud of you, Riley.” He strokes her hair and let's her lean her head against his shoulder.    

        “It hurt Alice, it tried to take Chris and probably intended to seduce him too.”

        “You shut your goddamn mouth, Denise!” Ben finally loses it.

        “Hey, watch your mouth, young man. You will not show your grandfather such disrespect in my presence.” Luci says sternly. “ Do you understand me?”

        “Yes, Ma’am, I’m sorry.” Ben looks down at his feet.

        “Don’t apologize to him.” Legion sounds outright offended. “ Disrespect? He  led an open rebellion against heaven and earth. That doesn’t sound respectful to me.” Luci just ignores him.

         “I love you, Riley, but do not cast this up to Ben.  It’s something done to him not something he did and he is not at fault for it. Promise me that you will never speak to him that way again.”

       “Fine. But this is sick. You should kill it before it hurts anyone else. And I am absolutely telling Abigail.”

       “Stop it.” Luci moves to look his daughter in the eye. “I know you’re upset, honey, and afraid and I promise you everything will be alright. What I need from you right now is to go with Ben’s aunt Bree and let her and Ben take care of you. Understand?”

        “Okay, Dad…” Riley sullenly agrees not really wanting to let go of her father’s neck. “That thing doesn’t deserve help.”

        “Neither did I honey “ Luci motions them back to the bean bag chair. “Ben, your sister?” Ben feels like arguing for some reason but swallows it and goes to the bean bag to heal Riley after he sees the look on Luci’s face.

        “Unbelievable,” Legion slowly shakes his head at this. Ben will never be free of Lucifer’s influence as long as the man is alive.

        “Hello, Legion.” Luci straightens up and smiles steadily at them. “It’s been a long time.” Legion just keeps shaking his head.

        “Look at you. Your makeup is smudged, you’re missing a glove, your hair is all askew on the left and that child bled all over your dress, snotty nose blood.” Legion’s look of distaste is so distinct and full of personality Luci just has to smile.

       “Livia. I thought you’d still be in charge.

        “You abandoned us.”

        “I was in a cage, Live. I didn’t exactly have much say in the matter. During the apocalypse I was just so very busy and didn’t want to give away your continued existence. Afterwards… I was just never in the right place at the right condition to ensure I could contact you properly without tipping my hand. Then I died. There wasn’t exactly anything I could do then, “ Luci walks up to them.

       “And now? Here you are, human, free, powerless, female, and married to Michael?” Legion looks at him in amazed disgust.

       “We all do what we must to survive, Livia “ Luci reaches up to caress Legion’s face with his soft ungloved hand. “But that doesn’t mean I’ve lost any affection for you.” Luci gently strokes their cheek. “After all the terrible things I did to you, made you do to others. I wronged you in so many ways, but abandonment was not one of them.”

       “Who’s Livia?” Riley whispers to Bree as they and Ben just watch the exchange. “I thought Legion was a he.”

       “Legion is a collective of several thousand souls merged together almost as one. They’re… like a hive mind.” Ben explains feeling incredibly creeper out at the exchange. More so than by watching Luci stabbing Shelly’s father in the heart with a makeshift stake.

        “I’m sure it appears that way. Humans can’t really so a true collective group think thing. They’re never really us, they’re individuals who give themselves over to a singular better ‘I’ in the form of a leader. Like in a cult. There has to be a leader.”

       “But isn’t that dad?” Riley asks pointedly ignoring

       “No. Your dad is the god they worship. Livia is essential the prophet to his little personality cult.” Bree explains.

       “Yeah, well she’s probably just some pathetic think who sold her soul like everyone else in there for something stupid and pointless and not worth an eternity of torment.” Riley crosses her arms.

       “Actually, my soul is very much my own.” Livia drops the we nonsense and smiles wickedly at the little girl. “You father offered me a job. He was impressed with my management abilities. An orgy is one of the most difficult things to orchestrate, especially the kind Lucifer here wanted.” Livia kisses Luci’s wrist. “You see. Dear Riley, I was a woman trapped by ignoble birth who rose as high as she could with nothing more than what she was born with. I was legendary and one day the most beautiful specimen the gods had ever created walked into my dreams and asked me to help him spit in the eye of the gods of the Hebrews, Israelites, Jews… so many languages all mixing together.” She winces with a painful smile. “And memories. I don’t even know how I stay intact sometimes.” Her friendly smile to Riley is amazingly vicious. The young girl just gives her a sideways glance.

     “She’s too young for details.”

     “I don’t intend to go into detail, if only because that one looks far to interested. Another sister of yours to lay with I assume.” Livia nods to Bree who grins. “The point is, little less than innocent one is that I popped your daddy’s cherry so good he gave me charge of his most powerful weapon.”

       “Those weren’t the skills that caught my attention. And that was still needlessly inappropriate.” There’s the slightest edge to Luci’s edge that everyone but Bree thinks is anger. His sister knows he’s actually embarrassed. Bree mostly wishes she’d brought some popcorn.

      “Inappropriate? Inappropriate is you showing up here wearing that… what is that? A wedding dress? Is that what they’re supposed to be now? Acting as if your just picking up the children from the nurse maid.”

       “My apologies. Did you expect me to come ranting and raving? You’re upset with me. You have a right to be. I led you astray. I’ve seen, for the most part the error of my ways and given you are my responsibility, I’m willing to overlook your behavior so far and help Ben with your own reformation and redemption. The love of a dear sweet child can work miracles.” Luci’s soft forgiving smile is down right angelic.

        “How kind of you.” Livia says curtly. “Will you ensure me passage into your heaven as well?” The mocking tone in her voice gives Ben chills. It’s probably the most infuriating way Luci could behave. He knows damned well that Livia mostly took the job because she had pissed off multiple gods and goddesses in her own pantheon and was garunteed an afterlife much worse than this one. Livia has neither need nor desire to reform, and never has and she can’t exactly argue with that slippery devil without revealing things she would rather not reveal to Ben at this point. She already slipped trying to hurt that little brat and Luci both  But maybe, maybe Ben’s ready for a new view on gods.

     “Ben, we don’t need to be saved. Not you, not us…” she turns to him. “Not the way they claim we do. We worship no gods because gods demand it and punish a lack of it but they don’t deserve it. Any of them. You know very well what we mean to the divine. Even their own children mean nothing to them but a source of worship and respectability.” Maybe this will provoke Lucifer if nothing else will.

   “Man, Dad really fucked up with us then, huh, Luci?” Bree smiles and accepts a high five from Riley. Luci is not amused.

   “I like you,” Riley breaks off a KitKat bar and hands it to Bree.

   “Aw, and you’re my favorite prank.” Bree ruffles the confused Riley’s hair.

   “That’s enough from the peanut gallery “ Luci snaps, now angry for a different reason entirely.

    “We’re not asking you to worship anybody.” Ben protests, a sinking feeling developing in the center of his chest.

    “You may not be but Lucifer, m favorite little attention whore, is begging for it. Aren’t you?” she Wiggle’s Luci’s nose incredibly disrespectfully.

    “I don’t beg.”

    “True. But don’t pretend to me you’re happy like this. That you wouldn’t jump at the chance to return to your former glory. Do more than just… survive.” Livia looks him in the eye. “Of course that’s probably something we should discuss in private.” She snaps up a wall between them and Riley who, along with Bree, is making faces at the demon behind Luci’s back. Never has Livia wanted to murder a child so badly.

     “Wait!” Ben tries to get to them but is blocked along with the other two.

     “I don’t suppose you know how to break whatever kind of barrier spell this is, do you?” Riley looks up at Bree hopefully as Ben is clearly useless.

     “I’m human and soulless. I couldn’t even if I did.” Bree stands up. “C’mon. We need to get these windows open. I think.”

      “They’re just small panes of glass. They don’t open.” Riley points to the box sized panes around the top of the walls.

      “Alright. Well, let's see what these babies can do, them.” Bree takes a bag of marbles out of her pocket. “C’mon, Riley, Ben, let’s break things.” Bree tosses a marble as hard as she can at a window. It cracks buy nothing more. Ben is just sitting there, frozen, clearly conflicted and unsure of what to do, so Bree just hands Riley the marbles.

     “Ben, we need to… wait not that one. That’s my favorite one.” Bree quickly takes the marble back as Riley takes out an odd looking not even close to round silvery shiny one. “Okay, kiddo,” Bree puts it in her pocket and gives the child a pat on the back. “ I need to talk to Ben so think you can give us the illusion of privacy?” She asks. Riley just nods and heads over to the nearest window. By swinging the bag of marbles around by the ties, she can just manage to reach and smash the whole bag against the glass, shattering it quite nicely.


	67. Hell hath no fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Nightingale tries to save her nephew  
> Luci and Livia's final confrontation.  
> Ben reaps the rewards of all his training.

      “Ben, hey,... Ben-ben, c’mere.” Bree waves him over. The embarrassing use of that old baby name catches his attention more than anything and he hurries over before she says it again and Riley takes notice. “ Sit.” Bree pulls her nephew down by the arm. “Alright, look.”

      “Please don’t call me Ben-ben.” Ben whispers.  

      “Alright.” Bree lies.

      “It’s not cute anymore and no one needs to clarify which Ben you’re talking to so stop.” Which is an even worse lie as it’s just as cute as when two year old Ben named all his toys Ben- truck Ben, Tiger Ben. Of course, Auntie Bree couldn’t resist teasing him about it by pretending not to know which Ben she was supposed to give something to or play with. So Ben started referring to himself as Ben-Ben to clear up the pretend confusion. So it’s not just as cute as it was, it’s downright fucking adorable and always will be.

      “How about this,” Bree grabs his  nose his father’s little nose. “You be quiet and pay attention to me or I’ll never call you anything else, understood?”  Ben gives a nod, so she tweaks his nose and takes a breath. “I don’t know this legion, you do. I don’t know their history, Luci does. So I have to just trust both of you for both of those things. I do know about sex though. As a tool, as a weapon, as love, as torture, as violence, as pleasure, as pain, more than either of you do. And I need you to listen to me. Whatever happened sexually between you and them, it was not good for you. You are thirteen, you hadn’t even had your first kiss. You’re not ready for a physical relationship with anyone and you’re not old enough to separate physical from emotional feelings like that. Some never are. The feelings, the pleasure, the closeness it can be pretty overwhelming.”

     “I don’t want to talk about this.”

     “We have to talk about this, Ben, because you need to see this before something bad happens.” Bree takes hold of Ben’s chin and gently lifts it up to make him look at her. “You are intelligent, strong, kind, naive and see good in people because of all the good that’s in you. You see good in me and the only good in me is my love for you and my husband.”

       “Auntie Bree…” he’s going to argue that point with her but she doesn’t have time for his delusions.

       “Tschush… listen. Please.” She put a finger to His lips. “When adults have sexual relations with children barely entering puberty it is never good for them and it is never about love. Love is what child molestera sometimes delude themselves into thinking they feel to justify not only having the desires but acting on them. Some just don’t bother. This is not your fault, Ben, you were not prepared for this, no one your age is. You’re only just getting these feelings and a new changing body and voice. What's good for you is to have the time to get comfortable in your own skin and sort out your own feelings with people your own age who are going through the same thing.”

    “I know they don’t love me, but they care and they made a mistake. Culturally…” Ben struggles to find a defense that he knows must be there, some way that makes sense and doesn’t hurt.

    “Culture isn’t an excuse for practices that cause harm. Honor killings, cannibalism, human sacrifice, lynching all were cultural practices, the inquisition was cultural as were the crusades, but all were considered acceptable culturally in various times and places. We both know they’re all bad things. Theft murder and torture are theft murder and torture no matter how you spin it.”

       “They just wanted to make me feel better.” Ben whispers. “I was upset, I thought Hara had died…”

       “And that’s called taking advantage no matter how old you are.  What exactly happened… you don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready, just think about it. Tell it to yourself as if someone else was telling you it happened to them. Someone you care about, like that girl you ran off with. If she was saying this happened to her. She was upset, vulnerable, crying and someone she trusted caught her alone and decided to ‘comfort her’.... see?” The immediate flash of anger in his eyes get’s Ben a pat on the hand. 

       “ They wouldn’t…”

       “ They did. To you. And they don’t see anything wrong with it do they? They see no reason not to do it again. People who don’t see a good reason to change don’t change. They don’t get better, because they don’t want to and they have to want to be saved. That’s the whole thing about free will. It always has to be your decision to change anything about yourself “

    “But mom…”

    “Your mother is good at finding those who want to be saved and giving them hope guidance and direction. She doesn’t go to people reveling in their own wickedness, who are proud of it, or content in their own misdeeds. Because those people choose to do what they do. Everyone chooses every day to do the things they do. Some people want to get help but can’t do it on their own. Some people could be saved if others in their life just stepped up, but they don’t. That’s why they’re not saved, too. Its harder to save two souls than just one. She’s done it, sometimes, but it has to be what they want. Why do you think your mother was never able to save me? Because I didn’t want to be saved,”

       “But Legion…” Ben tries to argue that the demonic horde does, even though it just said they didn’t need to be saved 

       “On this one issue alone, Ben. Never mind any other points or crimes anyone could bring up, on this one issue alone… Do you yourself truly believe they think they did anything wrong?”

       “They just don’t understand it was wrong.” Ben stubbornly insists.

       “They are thousands of Individuals who have lived over a thousand lives over thousands of years and maybe even thousands of different cultures. They know what their actions can do to someone by now Ben. Just like I do and always did.Oh maybe I would say it wasn’t wrong but I just didn’t care and wanted to do it and have other people do it too. I can play dumb too. I can derail the conversation, twist words, and confuse the hell out of people. So can they. It’s a common tool in any kind of manipulators arsenal. Especially with someone who’s already confused and unsure in the first place. 

      “They’re not children, Ben. They’re not naive, inexperienced or innocent like you are. If they were they wouldn’t be here as they are .  Don’t infantilize them. They’re not victims, they’re survivors. They’re not going to change behavior that kept them alive and sane and functioning for a millennia because of a pretty face, open heart and earnest goodness. If they cared for you enough for that, they never would have laid a hand on you that way.” Bree regrets having to do this, seeing the hurt and pain he’s so clearly fighting against having to admit to. The moment where the truth wins out is painful to watch and hurts her almost as much as her first realization of selfish betrayal. That the only one she loved more than her brother had just stood by and let her cast herself away into that pain and torment because she didn’t matter. As much as she wanted to think she was made to save Raphael, really she was just made to be thrown away. Realizing that instead of being loved and cared for you were just used… 

        “I’ve done something terrible, haven’t I?” Ben’s voice trembles. Bree’s heart breaks and she holds him tightly.

       “No. No you’ve had someone take advantage of you in your anger and grief. You had something terrible done to you and are doing everything you can to cope with it. Your father did something stupid and loving and desperate, though, and that’s why Legion is out here doing this and we’re all in a lot of trouble. All of us, but especially that angel behind that wall.”

      “But... But he’s.”

      “He’s in there with nothing, Ben. Worse than nothing. For you, for Riley, and even for your father, though that’s for you, too, I know because that’s why I’m here. The only one here in this room with the power to stop Legion right now is you. You just have to decide how many lives you’re willing to sacrifice, how many souls are worth losing and hurting to try and save the ones destroying them? So far as I know, they’ve only hurt innocent people so far and have no reason to stop all. They hurt your family and loved ones. Even if that's only a few, what are they worth to you?”

      “I can’t…”

      “I know, hon” Bree rubs his back. “Just tear down the barrier at least and send for help, that’s all you have to do.”

     “I don’t know how.” 

     “I hate to say it Ben, but you’re basically an angel with self renewing batteries. You can brute force this bitch if you have to.”

     “How?” He still looks bewildered. Of course, how, how did he learn anything?  Just playing around? No one’s actually taught him anything but how not to use his powers and they taught him so well, he’s bound and restrained by his own mind, especially under pressure. Those damn idiots. Trying to protect him from himself by crippling him.

      “However you can imagine it “

      “I can’t…” Ben ‘s breath catches in his throat and he starts to hyperventilate.

      “Ben?” Riley stops breaking windows and turns back to them. “Ben, are you okay?”

      “I… don’t… know…” Ben manages as Bree tries to remember how to stop a panic attack. Usually she just creates them. She didn’t want to this time, lord knows she didn’t mean to push him quite so hard.

     “HEY!” Riley runs over to the wall and starts slamming the marbles against it. “HEY! SOMETHINGS WRONG WITH BEN! DAD!” the wall disappears just in time for her to fall over. Legion is holding Luci up against the wall by the throat. There’s a look of concern on both their faces, though Legion’s turns into annoyance.

     “He’s having a panic attack, that’s all. He’ll be fine.” But Legion throws Luci to the floor and goes over to Ben. “Concentrate on breathing, like your aunt says.” Legion says softly. “It’s alright, Ben. It’ll be alright. We won’t let anything happen to you “

     “Don’t touch me.” Ben shoves the demon away. The look Legion gives to Bree is about as loving and good willed as the ones he gives to Riley. By now, Luci’s caught his breath again and is holding onto his daughter who’s holding onto him, her arms wrapped protectively around his neck.

      “It’s okay, Dad. I promise I can handle whatever you need to do. You don’t have to hold back. It’s okay. I... I even promise not to look.” She whispers.

       “I love you, Riley.” Luci kisses her cheek. “ I’m sorry for ever way I ever have and will I hurt you. Go to your brother and close your eyes. Just close your eyes and keep them.closed until your mother or I tells you you can open them. It’s very important, okay?” Luci brushes her hair back and kisses her forehead again, one last time. 

      “Okay.” Riley closes her eyes as she was asked to, but doesn’t let go as she wasn’t asked to to that. And her father never said when she had to go back to her brother or which brother so until Chris is here to go back to, she’s not moving 

     “It’s alright, Ben. I know the terrible things they’ve probably my been saying to you. But I’ll be here for you when you calm down no matter what they try.” Livia glares at Bree.

      “So, you and Luci “ Bree smiles at her settling in for gossip. “What was that like?”

      “In a word? Cold. I was fairly sure I got frostbite in strange places. He’s a quick learner though. It seems he’s lost that valuable quality.” Livia looks down at Ben. “You don’t need to see this.” She goes to tap his head only to be hit by a bag of marbles, again right in the head. It causes her to pause a brief second before sending Ben to sleep again. Not breaking her stride, Livia breaks Bree’s wrist when the fallen angel tries to deflect or redirect the spell. 

      “You leave my brother alone!” Riley points angrily at them, standing defiantly in front of her father. Luci quickly stands in front of her as Livia focuses her attention on the 9 year old.

      “In my day, we treated our elders with a little respect.” Livia says cooly.

      “Yeah? In your day, your elders probably fucking deserved it.” The little hot head retorts trying to move out from behind her father.

       “Riley, enough.” Luci says sternly.

       “You should have taught that child some manners.”

       “What can I say? She’s her mother’s daughter. I’m surprised she’s not a redhead.” Luci’s smile and warm tone makes Riley feel that maybe taking after her mother wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Maybe her father might even love her more for it.

       “You should have taught her manners, Lucifer because now I’m going to.” Livia reaches past Luci’s arm to grab Riley’s, only to find herself bitten by both. Riley biting his hand, and Luci sinking his teeth into her upper arm.

        Bree runs over to grab Riley with her uninjured arm and drags her off to the bathroom.

       “No! Dad needs us!” Riley protests.

       “He needs you out of harm's way. Or are you so much your Michael's daughter you can’t give him a little trust and respect?” Bree grits her teeth. Amazingly this makes the girl settle down, at least temporarily.

        “Ben…”

        “Legion needs Ben, so Ben will be fine for now.” Bree looks around for something, anything and sees sanitary items in the trash. “Oh please tell me this is your first menstruation.”

        “Second.” Riley frowns.

        “Hmmm, virgin body, virgin blood?”

        “Yes to the body, but I’ve used my blood in spells before.”

        “But not rituals invoking a pagan god right?” Bree crosses her fingers.

        “Of course not. Mom would kill me!”

        “Well, your mom can kill me for this one. This is going to be really gross but I need your menstrual blood and I need it fresh.”

        “EWW!”

        “The best way to help your mom right now is to keep you safe, and I’m short on better supplies so shut up and take off your clothes.” Bree winces. Of course if Artemis is no longer around this won’t do shit andy hopefully in this thread of existence Gabriel didn’t piss her off quite so much.

  
  


         “You are not laying another hand on any of my children.” Luci stands in front of the bathroom door, his high heels held in both hands. Livia can’t help, but laugh at this.

         “You think I can’t really hurt you, don’t you. You completely forgot about the terms of my employment, Didn’t you?”

         “I didn’t. I know very well none of the souls within you belong to me anymore. And haven’t since my first death.” Luci steps forwards, “I’m certainly not depending on your mercy. Or your sense of self preservation, either. If you had any you’d either have agreed to attempt reform or have started running.”

         “I bet you think that I can’t hurt you.” Livia lunges, knocking the ‘weapons’ out of Luci’s hands and slamming him against the door frame. “Or, do you think that the defiant soul inside me, Ben’s devoted father, will heroically rise up and take control, saving the counterpart of the woman he loves so deeply and truly.” Her hands wrap around Luci’s neck. “it’s not going to happen. He’s part of us now, and I’m neither so vain or stupid to think I could make any more use of him than as a shield. Samuel Winchester Father of Ben is an emptied out husk of a shell like so many others. Foolish, weak, it’s just as you said so long ago, people believe the lies they wish were true. When his son rescued us, I made him think his wife was rescuing them. And with the sweeter sleep, I coaxed him into surrender.

   “That surrender that released me of all obligation not to harm that vile little abomination of a child you call Riley. And of any obligation not to guide that precious young angel into manhood. You people have stunted and crippled him, but I have him now and I can form him into something great and powerful and utterly devoted to me.” She gloats. “There is so much more promise in him than there ever was in you. You know it don’t you. And here you stand trying to take it for yourself. You don’t own him, or Me, or the rest of us anymore, they all gave up on you when you abandoned them. They hate you every bit as much as they once loved you and want you dead. You broke so many promises, spoke so many lies. No one who ever knew you can ever trust you again. Oh but Ben, so many of them adore him. They see him as a new you, a better you, one that won’t let them down. Even with so much provocation he still hasn’t give. Up on us. And I promised them, I will save him from you. Nothing you can say or do will prevent me from keeping that promise.” Livia smiles at the stone faced devil in her borrowed bodies large strong hands, struggling without breath, as he’s held just above the floor. “ You deserve this.” 

     It’s over amazingly quick. Not content to wait for him to suffocate, Livia snaps his neck and sinks back into Legion. Staying separate for so long is taxing, damn him. There are conflicting feelings. Some want to

bury him. Some want to leave him for the wolves. Some want to go even further and defile and desecrate the body. 

      None of which is good enough, they must feign regret for Ben’s sake. And that involves letting go of the body, which is starting to glow beneath the dress. Lines of enochian start to twist their way around around their hands which won’t let go despite their best efforts. The glow penetrates the bathroom and Riley opens the door a crack to look. The sound of hundreds maybe thousands of wings grows louder and louder. 

       “NO!” Legion cries out as the room turns black with crows and a last flash of light begins the expulsion of demonic souls from Mule’s body. Each black wisp is devours and taken by a bird that flies back out the windows letting another one in. Bree pulls Riley back from the door and presses her body against it to keep it closed. Surprisingly Riley doesn’t protest and just goes into the shower to rinse off the almost finished protection rites. As it’s clearly Luci’s contingency plan, Bree doesn’t argue. Riley won’t need them anymore and if she doesn’t need them, her mother won’t be so appreciative of the efforts.

       “Hey, Riley, let’s just keep this particular well intentioned venture between us, okay?” She suggests and gets a thumbs up from the girl in the shower.

      Soon enough, the noise dies down and everything is quiet and still. Bree leaves the bathroom to give Riley privacy to dress and check on Ben. He’s kneeling down beside the two empty bodies on the floor, a blank look on his face. Riley runs out behind Bree and stops short for a moment.

      “They’re dead,” Ben says flatly, “Both of them.” Bree looks back at Riley who looks for a second like the world is about to end, but the girl takes a breath and recovers herself.

      “That’s alright. It won’t be very long. Nobody ever stays dead in this family.” She shrugs, “ Mom will bring them back.”

       “How will he bring dad back? We don’t even know where his soul would be. Or If he was reincarnated already.” Ben’s voice is as flat at his expression. It’s an expression Bree is familiar with and had once revelled in, though not on her darling nephews face.

      “It’s okay. Ben it’s okay.” Bree reassures him and goes over to Luci’s body. “He planned for this possibility.” She slides a ring off of Luci’s finger and pries out the marble sized round flattish silvery stone from the settings. The jewel goes under Mule’s tongue. “ Oblivisci mortem” Bree chants bit grudgingly. After a second that feels like an eternity to Ben, his father gasps for breath. “Hey there, sunshine “ Bree leans on his chest. “Seeing as I just brought you back to life, think you could ask your mommy to stop punching me in the face every time she sees me? Cause that would be great.” 

      “W-what?” Mule looks bewildered look is replaced by one of horror, then accusation, as well as a clear desire to punch her himself. “You…”

      “No! Whatever you’re thinking about anything disturbing involving me. No. I had nothing to with any of this mess but you’re way too fucking costly rescue. And it wasn't for you. But seriously though, your mom? I don’t have Raph to heal me anymore and I’d rather not end up in a coma.” She gives him a hopeful smile just as he shoves her off him, accidentally right onto Luci and Riley.

       “Dad!” Ben’s voice breaks through Mule’s confusion at the scene around him, especially as if it sounds like the boy is about to break back down into tears.

       “Where’s the other one?” Riley pulls off her father’s other glove to look for the ring, then searches for a broach, earrings, pendant, anklet or hair clip. Somewhere for the other stone to be.

        “It’s a soul stone. He doesn’t have a soul, Riley. I mean it’s not a great one. It’s worthless for necromancy. It’s made out of an angel’s tears so it’s decent, but they don’t last overly long and it doesn’t work without a soul to trap.” Bree slowly explains, trying to think of how to calm the inevitable outburst.

      “Well, that’s alright.” Riley accepts it a little too well. “Mom will fix this. MOM!” She waves and stands up as a bright light heralds Michaels decension . Not too bright, just the bright of wings made manifest in a preemptive assault. Like a flash bang but only for demons. The cabin walls instantly disintegrate around them, revealing three of the remaining archangels.

      Bree just scoots back away from Luci’s body not wanting to accidentally being mistaken for the perpetrator. Michael’s face is heartbreaking, pale, stricken, a little broken.

        “No, mom, it’s okay,” Riley notices as well. “You can bring him back, remember?” The freshly flowing blood on her face, from a brief slip in the shower, that smacked her cheek against the faucet as she tried to scramble out after Bree left, breaks through Michael’s stupor and he’s Instantly kneeling by his daughter’s side.

      “Who hurt you?” He wipes away the injury.

     “I slipped.” Riley admits embarrassed. “ I’m fine. Nobody touched me.” She doesn’t quite lie. The blood stains on her clothing tell a different story. “I’m okay please just bring Dad back so we can go home without worrying Chris, okay? Tell him I wasn’t really hurt, Uncle Raph.” She pleads.

      “That was her only current injury.” Raphael informs him. 

      “I have to do it in the abyss.” Michael informs her.

       “Gabriel and I have to do it in the abyss.” Raphael gently corrects him. “Why don’t you take Riley home. We’ll take care of this.”

        “I’ll take Riley home.” Michael repeats and picks up his daughter, holding her tightly to his chest and vanishes. Gabriel and Raphael take Luci’s body away 

        “Oh, no we don’t need a ride or anything,” Bree drags the beanbag over to the shade of a nearby tree and plops down on it as Mule just holds onto and comforts his son.


	68. Choices

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins reunite  
> Shelly and Sam get some father daughter time,   
> The archangels try to figure out what to do.

       “Riley!” Chris tearfully grabs her as Michael returns to the apartment. “I’ve been so worried. I’m sorry, I’ll never fight with you again and do everything you say.” The promise makes Michael smile for the briefest of moments.

     “No, I’m sorry. I’ve been so moody lately, but it’s not your fault and I shouldn’t take it out on you just because you’re more forgiving than I am.” She kisses his nose. “Oh but you missed it. It was great. Dad was gorgeous and that demon thing never saw it coming. A lovely gown, a murder of crows. Several murders it was a giant massacre of crows they filled the whole cabin. It was like some glitter and sunshine away from Legion being disney princesses to death.” The description makes Chris laugh while it just confuses the mother.

     “So where’s dad then? Is he taking a baty? I bet they pooped on him. All those crows probably pooped on everything. Nice of him to let you shower first. “ Chris  gently tugs a hunk of Riley’s short wet hair. Michael just sits down in his chair, not really ready to address the subject yet.

        “Oh, actually, he’s deal right now. I think.he did some magical summoning suicide bomb thing. Ben’s Aunt Bree said it was his contingency plan.  Still you should have seen what he was wearing.  Mom, where are your wedding pictures?” Riley turns back to Michael who’s just sitting there. “Mom?” She looks at her hopefully. “I know you’re fighting and everything right now, but can Dad come home, maybe?” she leans on the side of the chair 

      “I never said he had to leave “ Michael looks around as Sam starts chopping vegetables in the kitchen, trying to remain uninvolved in this sticky situation. “Sam, are you still free for a few minutes more?”

      “Yes. Go take care of things.” Sam says, not looking back.

      “I’ll be back shortly.” Michael pats Riley’s head and vanishes.

      “Oh! Let's go tell Alice!” Riley grabs Chris’ arm and pulls him into the bedroom. After a loud and excited conversation in the other room, Shelly comes out and sits on the clean part of the kitchen counter. 

       “So,” she crosses her arms uncomfortably. “Riley told me the news. You think they’re bringing him back?”

       “I don’t see why they wouldn’t.” Sam picks her up and moves her to the empty island before getting some meat from the fridge. “Do you think they wouldn’t?”

      “Well, he dissolved a demons horde thing, expelled it from its host body, separated and preserved a single soul from it… that kind of thing would have taken a fuckton of power. Power he doesn’t have. I mean he doesn’t have a soul to draw from. He doesn’t have his grace. I can’t think of anything he could have done to solve that problem that wasn’t a major parole violation.” She says slowly. “Like, super major.”

       “Not necessarily.” Sam takes a breath and turns to face her. “ there’s power in death, magically speaking. It depends on whether he died because of the spells or his death triggered the spells. What I heard sounded like the latter. Riley said it was a contingency plan and your uncle making a contingency plan that basically meant ‘If I’m going down, I’m taking you with me.’ really sounds like something he’d do, now that is ego is in check enough to consider defeat a viable possibility. Buy I don’t know. You really don’t need to worry, though. There’s less reason to leave him to the abyss now than there was when your mother decided to bring him back.”

      “I guess that’s true.” Shelly perks up less than he thought she would. “I want to go check on Ben. Is he in his room?”

      “ He’s probably already back to  home with his father.” Sam shakes his head. “He didn’t come back with them and I doubt they just left him on the wreckage.”

     “Oh,” Shelly looks down on the floor. “I’m sorry I’m such a pain in the ass, dad. You put up with a lot for my sake. More than I knew and I just keep causing you more trouble.”

      “You’re a Winchester honey, that’s what we do. “ He kisses her for head. “Thank you for staying put this time and taking care of my grand baby like we asked you to.”

      “I kind of have to now, don’t I? At least while hes taking residence in here.” Shelly puts her hands to her stomach. “Who the hell decided women had to be the sole incubator anyways?”

      “Your grandfather I believe.” Sam smiles at her 

      “Oh, right. Well, when I see him in person we’re going to some fucking words, that’s for damn sure. We could have laid eggs!”

       “Eggs are always larger than the size of the offspring that hatches from them.  And grow when you ovulate. So unless you want to do that every month…”

       “Oh, grandpa, nevermind.” Shelly shudders, putting a hand to her chest. “Want some help, dad?”

       “I’d love some, Shelly.  It remember this is a savory dinner, not sweet.” Sam informs her as she hops down.

      “ What? You’re not even going to glaze the carrots?”

      “No, Michelle.”

      “Dammit.” 

       Sam just sighs at his daughter’s incurable potty mouth. That baby is going to be born swearing like a sailor. At least His wife tried to curb it.

  
  


       “So”, Bree looks up at Gabriel as she comes back.  “Death’s just as cheap and worthless here as it is at home now, too. I can’t believe our uncle’s okay with this.”

      “I’m taking the two of you home.” Michael informs Mule and Ben. “We’ll return your Gabriel later.”

      “Is..” Ben doesn’t get to finish his sentence before the three of them disappear. 

      “You know it’s kind of sad “ Bree sighs resting her head back against the bean bag. “There’s no such thing as redemption through death anymore. Not in our circles anyways “ Gabriel just stands in front of her, arms crossed, a serious expression on her face. “Holy mother of all bombs, you look just like Michael right now. I didn’t even know that was possible. I feel so disturbed by this, you have no idea. Of course maybe it’s not so much a Michael face as it is a having to deal with me face. Yeah, let's go with that.” 

         “You knew he was going to do this. And you helped him.” Gabriel’s voice is calm and even.

         “Not really, no.  I was just along for the ride “Bree shrugs.

         “ He didn’t burn those sigils into his own flesh in your writing.” Gabriel challenges. “He didn’t get himself into that dress either. “

          “He asked me for help. I helped him. I kind of owed him anyways and I didn’t ask any  questions he actually answered. I kind of assumed he was going to seduce them and convince Ben to put them back in Hell where they belonged or whatever. This was just a contingency plan or at least the last line was. That dress was even more lovely than I thought it would be.”

         “Michael designed it.”

         “You shut your fucking mouth. Michael doesn’t create things.” Bree gaps like someone’s horrified maiden aunt. “But you know what? It kind of figures it was his main plan all along. He was a little too understanding about the pointlessness of existence.”

          “It wasn’t his main plan and our Michael is an incredible artist.” Gabriel snaps.

          “No, I mean not like normal everyday suicide…. Michael tells him she’s divorcing him so he widows her first. Hey, maybe I have a shot at him when you bring him back. I’m the only one who really understands what he’s going through right now. Oh, that reminds me.” Bree takes a dime bag with a little sd card in it from her bra and hand's it to Gabriel. “He asked me to give this to you. Before you tried to resurrect him, if everything went wrong. Or right I guess. Who the fuck really knows.” 

       “ He asked… you?”

       “Well, it is my job, delivering messages and bullshit stuff like that right? I know… it’s not the throne of heaven, but what the hell, right? We all gotta start somewhere.”

        “He’s not in the abyss as far as we can see…”

        “That’s another thing that bothers me. Why is it called the abyss here? You made this one. I'd have thought you’d have given it a cooler name like Xanadu or Fantasia. Or Bree’s Bar and Grill. Something like that.” Bree spreads her hands wide. 

       “I tried. Nothing stuck, they just kept calling it the Abyss and I gave up. Okay? Some places choose their own damn names I guess. But he’s not there, not where he should be. Do you know anything about that?” Gabriel challenges her counterpart who just gives her a confused expression she can see right through.

       “Oh yeah,” Bree suddenly snaps her fingers. “ I forgot I have him right here in my left pocket.” She snarks. “ nope skittle.” She pulls out a red one and pops it in her mouth. “ He is a such a hypocrite, you know. But what else is new. I helped him because Ben was in trouble and so was his father and Helel’s injured and my husband’s gone off all graceless playing hooky or something with Azrael. Who knows what the fuck Michael’s doing. Probably looking for Rph to drag him back to heal Helel in person.” Bree tightens her lips. “ Look it’s been a rough afternoon and I think I accidentally broke my nephew, so if you’ve got any other questions for me, I’d suggest getting your cute little Raphael to ask me because I don’t have anything more to say to you, but I sure as hell have a lot of nothing I would love to tell my goody goody doppelganger.” She thumbs her nose at Gabriel.

      “The next time you’re even near my brother again will be when we shred your dead body into mulch and bury a scoop of it in every single public garden there is.”

       “Do you think he’d cry?” Bree looks off into the forest. Probably not but the thought of an indifferent,  unloving Raphael isn’t so impossibly horrifying. The thought of being completely unloved and unwanted by everyone buy her ignorant nephew is something that feels as inevitable as the day he stops loving her as well. Luci should have killed her to set off the spell and not let Legion kill him. Part of her half hoped that was his real plan.

        “All I want to do is bring my big brother back. That’s all.” Gabriel gives a sigh. “I’m tired. We’re all tired. We all have families to take care of and so does he. You don’t have anything else to say? Anything else that could be at all useful?” Gabriel tries to soften her voice but it’s clear the urge to throttle the nightingale remains.

         “You saw the spells, that’s all I know.” Bree shrugs carelessly. “ Aside from your Michael being in love with some Jeff person. You don’t have a last name for that do you? Because I would love to find any way to break up Michael and Momma Winchester because that’s too much lethal violence in one partnership of any kind and just fuck Mary.”

           “Michael is not in love with Jeff. They’re just friends. Luci never really did understand these subtle graduations of relationships. He just assumed everything was varying degrees of lust I think. Aside from family, and well, that got kind of fucked up too I think. I don’t think most of my siblings actually understand.” Gabriel rubs the bridge her nose. “ I know you do because those kind of mistakes can be the funniest and we never miss a joke. But Alright.  Alright. I’m taking you home. But try not to disappear.”

          “Fine.” Bree grumbles. “ It’s not as if there’s anywhere I could go that someone couldn’t me.”

 

           “You remembered to unground their Hara when you were there, right?” Gabriel asks as Michael returns to the abyss where she and Raphael are waiting beside Luci’s body.

          “Yes.” Michael says quietly, “ I got his vessel back home as well. He was angry about that the most. I take it you have yet to resurrect him yet.”

          “He doesn’t want to be “ Raphael says quietly. “ He asked us not to be.” Gabriel just paces in the background.

          “ What are you talking about?” 

          “He left us his will and a recording on a Sim card. Here, I’m sending you the.. Never mind.” Raphael just turns it on instead.

          “Gabriel? This is Luci. Sorry it’s not a video but I’m getting ready and don’t have time for a decent visual. I’m not going to survive this, and I’m asking that you don’t bring me back. Or, more accurately don’t try to bring me back. At least not for a good while. You have children to take care of and I’m just in the way. I don’t expect you to take this seriously though so I made an arrangement with our Uncle not to be found for at least a certain length of time.

     “You probably want an explanation, but what exactly could I say that you’d believe? I love you all, I love my children. I would do anything for them including leave. I will never be anything but a detriment to any of you and you know it. I know I can’t escape my punishments I’m due. That’s not what this is. I’d just like to make sure that they don’t hurt my children anymore. Do you see what I mean? Who the hell would believe this? I’m worried about my kids. I’m worried about kids that aren’t mine too. There’s more than just that but it’s the best of my reasons and if you think about it it’s true. What just happened proves that it’s true. Tell Raph I’m sorry.” 

       “He left it to you?” Michael asks quietly.

       “Reporting into his parole officer. Gabriel shrugs deciding not to point out that she’s also not the one ducking divorcing him. “ His will was on the Sim card,too.” 

        “I don’t know what we should do here.” Michael’s voice is flat in a way Raphael never hoped to hear again.

        “I don’t know that there’s anything to do.”Gabriel sighs, “I talked to Death already. He verified the deal and refused to discuss further. I kind of think if we bother him too much more he’ll either drag Dad back to deal with us or say to hell with it and shove everything back into the bag it came from. So just…” Gabriel shakes her head. What's the point in saying anything to Michael, she’ll just do what she wants anyways. Either way Michael just looks at her with an odd expression.

       “You want to just accept this?”Michael narrows his eyes at her. “He’s not the kind to give up this way. Or to sacrifice himself like this. Maybe for Dad but for any one else? I can see him setting things up to force our hand in regards to getting his grace back, but… he can’t want to just stay sleeping in the abyss.”

        “Well, when his first attempt failed I guess he wanted to make sure that the next time he had every angle taken care of. He has always been good at seizing opportunities.” Gabriel sits down next to the body in the snow.

       “No.” Michael argues. “He wasn’t suicidal. He’s never been suicidal I don’t care what this implies.”

       “Fine. He was never suicidal.” Gabriel agrees flatly. “Whatever you say Michael.”

       “He didn’t try to kill himself he’s never tried to kill himself.”

       “You mean besides all those Mondays when I was trying to bring him back and start his parole? All three hundred and seventy six times? Yes. He has. They day he picked a fight with all of you he did. Alex intervened, he came back and saved Sam and starred therapy with Alex. Or did you think he agreed to therapy because he was bored?”

      “Wouldn’t that mean he didn’t want to die? If he was going to therapy?” Michael argues because he has to argue. Because no one else is ever allowed to be right. “And why wouldn’t you tell me about this? Why wouldn’t he?”

       “Because you’d do or say something like this? Because you’d be stupid and insensitive or panic, like you did. But there wasn’t a point you wanted to talk to about him anyways Michael. Not to Alex, and especially not to us. Our opinions don’t matter about anything anyways, so why the hell would you?”

        “This is my fault.” It’s not even a question.

        “Well you didn’t fucking help! That’s for damn sure!” Gabriel stands up again.

        “Bree take it easy on her.” Raphael quietly pleads, finding it unbelievable that he just had to utter that sentence to Gabriel on Michael’s behalf.

        “Oh, come on, Raph. Since when has our opinion on anything Michael does mattered? Mine especially. Alright, look, we’re going to have to figure out what the fuck to tell our children. Which will be a relief for you Michael since it’ll certainly be easier to explain than how you decided to divorce the person you pressured into marrying you and pretty much forced to have children with you.” Raphael quickly slaps his little sister for this, not only because she crossed the line but just in case Michael was provoked into doing it. Michael just stands there with out a word.

       “Stop it, Gabriel. This is not Michael’s fault and you’re not the only one stressed and upset. What are we going to tell the children. How do we even begin to explain this? That's what we need to focus on, not lashing out at each other for our brothers decisions.”

      “Well we can’t tell them the truth.” Gabriel rubs her cheek, not looking at either of her living siblings. “We don’t even really know the truth. Who the hell knows what was going on in his head, what he really wanted or was trying for, right Michael? How do we know we could convince him to come back even if we did find him. And why should we? Haven’t we all bent backwards trying to help him find and keep to the right path again and live and be happy? What the hell are we supposed to do? What?

     “I did everything I could for you Luci and why? So your extra ass could run away in the most ridiculously dramatic way possible? Because it was inconvenient for you? Well fine, you can just stay this way until it’s convenient for us. And FUCK YOU!”  Gabriel kicks the body off the small beir. The other two just look silently at it,  Michael not really seeming to register it at all. Raphael walks over to it, picks it up and gently lays it back out again. “Maybe I need a minute.” 

      “It’s not your fault either Bree.” Raphael says softly 

      “I’m going to get Alex.” Michael disappears 

      “I’m sorry, Bree. I shouldn't have slapped you “ Raph apologizes 

       “It’s fine. I started trying to pick a fight with Michael, please slap me again if I’m ever out of my mind enough to do that again.”Gabriel gives a half hearted laugh. “And please don’t tell Luci I just did that “ she nods to the corpse 

       “I won’t. Come here.” Raphael hugs his little sister and let's her be miserable as long as she needs to be.

 

 


	69. We All Greive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The archangels tell the children  
> Sam comforts his wife and daughter.

       “I can walk, Michelle,” Alice protests as Shelly princess carries her out to the couch. “I’m fine, really.”

       “Shut up and let me baby you.” Shelly kisses her cheek.

       “Yeah, shut up and let us baby you.” Riley and Chris says with a few smoochy noises her way as they follow with pillows and snacks.

       “No, she’s my girlfriend. Stick to pampering each other while I’m here to take care of her.” Shelly spreads out Alice’s favorite fuzzy throw on the floor with a snap of her finger, rolls the grinning girl up into a burrito, and places her girlfriend burrito on her lap as she steals Michael’s recliner. “Do you feel all nice and cozy?” Shelly nuzzles Alice’s nose. 

       “I feel ridiculous.” She confesses, and looks over to the doorway as it opens. 

        “Hey Abs, how’s Tris holding up?” Shelly asks as Abigail comes in.

       “Holding up or best as can be expected? She pulls out a chair from the table. Everyone has a lot of questions.”

        “I bet.” Alice commiserates. Fortunately Abigail decides not to comment on the Alice bundle more than a brief glance 

        “What’s going on?” Abigail sits down on the couch next to the snuggling twins. They’re in their usual making up mode which is nice to see. “Uncle Dean’s been a little closed mouthed about things today. Not that there hasn’t been enough to address as it is. But he just talked to Uncle Sam and Uncle Cas for a bit then told me to go upstairs for a family meeting. Is Ben okay?”

       “Physically fine,” Riley pipes up before Shelly can tell her to wait.” But apparently he got caught up with this pedophilic demon whore.”

        “Horde “ Chris corrects her.

        “I know what I said.” Riley says cooly. “ And has proven himself a useless ass by having a nervous breakdown right when we really needed him.  I mean I guess I understand maybe because the thing possessed his father who’s just as useless I guess because I think that’s how that thing escaped hell. Probably where Ben got it from. You know I don’t ever want to hear anyone say ‘because I’m older than you’ again. Because that's clearly bullshit. 

       “Anyways when that thing escaped it tried to take my Chris but Alice helped me save him. It ended up taking me instead and Dad and Ben’s Aunt Bree who is so much cooler than our Aunt Bree saved us and totally kamikazed it and it was awesome and I told that bitch he would,even if he’s just human and it still never saw it coming though I told him Dad would kick it’s ass it didn’t believe me and still…still tried to fuck with him and died. I didn’t get to watch exactly like I wanted because Dan said I couldn’t and Ben’s Bree locked me in the bathroom with her.” Abigail just tries to process this.. “ Ben’s home with his mom and dad now.”

       “Is… Uncle alright?’ She looks to Shelly who just shakes her head.

       “Dad will be fine. He’s just dead right now. Mom’s getting him back .” Riley shrugs a bit flippantly.

       “She’s still a little high off the adrenaline rush.” Shelly explains. It’s been a while but the twins can go at full speed like this for a surprisingly long time.

       “Mom and dad aren’t back yet, but they were just fighting and everything so they’re probably making up.” Chris decides to explain, though he looks a little more sober and doubtful about the whole thing. “They can bring you back, even if you don’t want to come back, right?”

       “What the hell, Chris?” Riley lunches his arm. “What does that have to do with anything?”

       “Nothing, I guess.” He looks down at his hands. Riley just puts her arms around him and kisses his cheek. 

        “It’s okay, Chris. Dad’s okay. He and mom were just fighting again, that's all it was. And there’s the orchestra and all the stuff there is to do. Dad’s just been stressed out. But everything’s okay now. He’s seeing Alex, he’s going to come back home, maybe this’ll even be enough to make him stop setting up all these stupid playdates. We’re ten. We’re too old for this crap anyways. She rests her head on his shoulder and gives a sigh that almost seems to deflate her.

      “Well, maybe if you tried to make friends on your own.” Shelly says a little sanctimoniously.

      “You’re one to talk.” Riley scowls at their cousin. “You don’t have any friends, and never had any except Alice.”

       “I still have Alice!”Shelly squeezes the bundle.

       “As a girlfriend. Lovers don’t count as friends.”

       “Well it’s more than just having a sibling anyways. Which I actually have now too and shut up. You’re nine what do you know @about relationship?”

       “ We’ve watched tons of talk shows and relationship self help stuff.” Chris informs then.

        “Well, Chris has, but it’s not as complicated as all of you are making it out to be.”Riley’s comment just makes Shelly and Abigail exchange a look. “And for your information, Chris and I are not just siblings. We’re twins which is better than just siblings.” Riley scowls at them. “ Which is better than just siblings, right, Chr… Chris?” She pauses when he doesn’t join in on teasing Shelly. He’s just sitting there, like a lump, no longer even returning the hug. He’s just thinking.“It’s okay, Chris. It’ll be okay.” Chris silently forces a smile as brushes his hair behind his ears. “ What’s wrong? You know everything's going to be okay. It’s Dad he’s always okay.”

      “Okay “ he disagrees with his resigned agreement. Before Riley can start to argue, their parents appears before them. Or at least one of each pair. 

       “Mom tell Chris he’s being a worrywart and dad’s fine.” She looks up at Michael who has an expression on his face similar to Chris’s.

       “No, Riley.”Michael stands stiffly before them.

       “Well why not?” Riley stands up and looks up at her, hands on her hips.

       “Riley,” Chris hushes her and pulls her back down to the couch beside them. “Shush, Please just let Mom talk.”

       “No, I won’t shush.” Though she does hold Chris protectively to her. “Where’s Dad? I know he’s fine because he has to be fine because you’re all archangels and you can make him fine and I know this because you did it a million times before and there’s no excuse for not doing it again so where is he? Where’s Dad?” She demands, glaring at them all especially her mother.

     “He’s not coming back yet, Riley.” Raphael says softly when Michael can’t bring himself to reply. “There are certain factors we can’t divulge that make it difficult to find and resurrect him.”

     “You’re still going to look for him, right?” Riley’s question sounds more like a demand.

     “ Yes, of course.” Raphael reassures them, “But it’s going to take time. We have no idea how long he’s going to take and we have other things we need to take care of, so it’s not going to happen any time soon.”

     “We can’t even promise it will be in any of your life times.” Gabriel finally adds at the offended look Riley gets at the assertion. “Do you understand?”

     “NO!”  It just goes downhill from there.

     “How did it go?” Sam asks as Gabriel meets him down in the shelter basement outside Tris’ room.

      “Riley exploded or continued exploding. Chris just shut down like Michael who was no help at all. Shelly actually seems to be taking all of this with sober consideration. That actually worries me more than anything. And Abigail… I don’t know. She’s either holding it together with grace and maturity while everyone else is breaking down, or she’s decided to enslave death and force him to bring Luci back somehow. I’m letting Raph deal with that. Or try to.”

     “She and Lucifer were very close. I don’t think this will be easy for her, or any of them really, “ Sam frowns. “Just don’t put her pain on the back burner because she seems to be okay. She’s only thirteen and hasn’t lost anyone yet. I don’t think any of them thought they’d lose anyone this close to them.”

      “Raph and Alex have this, Sam.” Gabriel smiles. “ Thank you for not coming by the way. I don’t think Riley could have handled you being there. Ben and his father are back home. I’ve made sure they have someone keep an eye on the Nightingale. I don’t trust her part in any of this. I’d kind of like to take a break from all this before I go to Shelly. I don’t know if you want to take this. I mean, your hearts as young as the rest of you now, so you should be fine no matter what outburst or anything she has.” Gabriel fiddles with the buttons on her husband’s shirt a bit absent mindedly.

      “Or,” Sam folds his arms around her and gives her forehead a kiss. “I could just be here for you and let our daughter take comfort in Alice.” 

       “Yeah. I mean it’s not like she can get even more pregnant.” Gabriel sighs, burying her face in his chest  “He just has to make everything more difficult.” Gabriel breaks away. “I’ll be fine. If I need to I’ll just go kick his corpse again.” She pats his chest. Sam clears his throat at this and she turns to see Abigailz standing by them, waiting patiently to be able to get back in with her friends. “Um, I didn’t…”

       “I need to talk to Tris and let her know Uncle won’t be able to help me find a cure for her anymore so, if you’ll excuse me.” She nods to the door behind them.

      “Abigail…” Sam starts as she moves away from the door.

      “My mother’s a therapist. I’ll be fine.” She opens the door and steps in.

      “Hey AJ.” Dean gets her. “If you need a minute…”

      “I’m fine.” The door closes behind her.

      “I’m going to go back to heaven. There’s stuff I need to take care of. Paperwork, a schedule to rearrange, all that boring shit. Announcements. I’ll see you this afternoon.” Gabriel kisses her husband and vanishes. Sam takes a moment and knocks on the door. 

     “Yeah?” Dean cracks it open.

     “I’m heading home.”

     “I got the girls.” He gives Sam a thumbs up. “I’ll catch you tonight for the wrestling match?”

      “Sure,” Sam walks down the hall to the portal to the bunker. It’s hard to know what to do or say. It was hard enough dealing with his conflicting emotions when Lucifer was alive. Now he’ll have to deal with the fact that the death that’s going to hurt so many of his loved ones brings him little more than a sense of relief and relaxation. The end of an almost permanent tension that he hadn’t even realized was there until it wasn’t.

       “Dad?” Shelly’s sitting by the table as he turns on the light to the kitchen.

       “Hey, sweetie.”

      “ It’s really weird looking at you now. You’re so young. You look more like a big brother than a father.” She frowns.

       “Don’t worry. I’ll convince your mother to help me back to my proper age soon “ He gently reassures her.

       “Please don’t.” Is Shelly’s quiet reply as she stares at the fridge. “There’s a chocolate cake in there I’m trying to resist it because I’m pregnant and Brice needs healthy food. Plus it’s stale because Uncle Dean keeps putting it in the fridge instead of leaving it out on the counter where it belongs.”

      “I think your mother beat you to it.” Sam opens the fridge anyways. There’s no chocolate cake but there are a lot of whipped yogurt cups. “ so, raspberry, orange dream, key lime?” He points to each flavor.

      “Yes please.” Her reply makes him smile so he takes out one of each and an extra key lime as she gets them each a spoon. “I don’t want to be an adult.” Shelly takes the first key lime.”Eating yogurt instead of chocolate cake.”

      “I know.” Sam pulls a chair up next to her 

      “Responsibilities suck,” she takes a tiny bite of the fluff. “There’s so much you want to do and you can’t do everything no matter how badly you want to.”

      “That’s true “

      “I have to let him go, Dad.” Shelly stares down at the yogurt cup, with a beyond miserable expression. “I can’t search the abyss, or drop everything or do everything in my power to try and get Uncle Helel back because I have a baby on the way and I have to put him first and it sucks.” She wipes her eyes. “It’s entirely my doing and it’s important to me that I do this right for my little boy but I don’t want my uncle to be gone either. And I don’t... “ Shelly sniffs. “I don’t want you to try and help bring him back either.”

      The statement takes Sam completely by surprise. In truth he was almost certain she’d ask him the exact opposite. And the fact he hadn’t made up hisind to say no means he probably would have said yes.

       “You don’t?” He asks his daughter, to make sure he didn’t mishear her.

       “No, I don’t. I mean, part of me does, part of me is glad he’s gone. I mean, not really, but I don’t… I don’t know how to deal with things yet about you two and I… I don’t know. But I need you, Dad. And Bruce needs you and your students need you and Alice really needs a father right now so she needs you and just please will you stay around? I know it’s selfish but I love my uncle and I absolutely needed him, but I love and need you more, so if anyone asks you to do or help do this, absolutely anyone even Mom, I want you to say no. Please.”

    “I’ll say no.” Sam promises and hugs his tearful daughter. “I promise.”

    “Thank you, Daddy.” Shelly breaks away to wipe her nose and picks up the yogurt again. “It’s not so bad, eating healthy. This stuff is actually pretty good. Like dessert or something.”

     “Well, it certainly has enough sugar.” Sam looks at the nutrition label only to find Shelly’s fingers on his lips.

      “Shhhh. Dad. You’re ruining the moment.”


	70. In Our Own Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris takes care of Riley and their mom.  
> Abigail takes care of Chris  
> Ben has a talk with his dad.

              “Hi, Uncle Jeff.” Chris opens the door to the apartments just before he can knock.

             “Hey, kiddo.” He tousles Chris’ hair. “I got your message. I’m sorry I couldn’t get here sooner. There was traffic. Um, did some remodeling?” the greying man looks around the much larger room.

            “Yeah, it’s going to be like this for a little while.” Chris smooths out his skirt and leans against the wall. “Uncle Raph wants to help take care of Mom but I don’t think he’s going to be as okay as he thinks he will be. In know Aunt Bree’s upset and Aunt Alex has to take care of both of them so I thought maybe you could help mom a little? You are her best friend.” 

      “Where is your mother?” 

      “In the bedroom going through Dad’s stuff.” Chris shrugs, still fiddling with the skirt a bit absentmindedly.

       “That is a lovely skirt.” Jeff comments.

       “Thanks it’s the wrap skirt dad wore at his last concert.  It’s the only thing that can really fit me right now.” Chris shrugs.”I’ll be okay. Just go take care of mom.” Jeff gets nudged towards their parents bedroom.

       “Are you sure? What will you be doing?”

       “I dunno, waiting for Abigail to come back up. Riley’s asleep already.” Chris shrugs.

       “Are you hungry?”

       “No, we ate already. Mom ordered pizza. She wouldn’t let us go hungry or anything.” the child sounds almost a little offended.

       “Here let me at least make you some hot chocolate. It’ll make me feel better.” Jeff goes to the microwave and heats up a mug of milk while Chris waits quietly beside him. “Your mother's in the bedroom?” Chris just nods. “Whipped cream?” Another nod. “Okay, here you go.” Jeff watches as Chris goes to sit in his mother’s chair as they all do when Luci’s not there to protect it from invaders. “You sure you’re okay out here?” Chris just gives him a thumbs up, sipping the hot chocolate. “Alright” Jeff walks to what he thinks he remembers as the door to the master bedroom. “Mike?” He knocks. “It’s me Jeff. Can I come in?”

     “Niis a,” comes the reply. He can’t remember what that means but it’s enochian which means Mike is not even close to okay, so he goes in regardless. The angel is sitting on the floor with a notebook in his hands.

     “Hey, Mike.” Jeff sits down next to him. “Your child, Chris is a little worried about you. He said that Luci’s gone? Is it over? Are you getting a divorce or did he just… Take off?”

      “Chris called you?” Michael frowns looking up at him.

      “Texted me actually. I tried calling you but it just went to voice mail. And I did pray but I suppose you didn’t hear me somehow.”

       “I broke my phone again and just blocked everything out. I needed some silence. What did Chris say? That his dad left?”

       “Just that he’s gone.”

       “He’s dead. He doesn’t want to be resurrected and we can’t find him to get him back anyways. So he’s gone is the best way to put it I suppose. We don’t know how long.”

       “Jesus, what happened?” Jeff scoots closer. 

       “A demon horde had Riley. He died saving our child and I seems as if he fully intended to die doing it. He tried to kill himself before, recently and no one told me. He died in his wedding dress.”

       “Oh, Mike…” Jeff puts a hand on Michael’s shoulder, not exactly where the angel’s at right now. Either he doesn’t really want to be touched or he’s about to crumble into Jeff’s arms. Maybe both 

        “I didn’t save them, Jeff. I tried to protect myself and our children and I just made everything so much worse.”

       “When did this happen?”

       “Earlier this morning.”

       “Oh for… Jesus, Mike. Today? This morning? What are you doing here? With this stuff. Now. You don’t even sound like you understand what happened yet. You are not ready to start sorting through his belongings yet. Put this back. Put these all back. Just..”Jeff takes the notebook from him and returns it to a pile of them in the open closet. “You definitely don’t need to start reading his journals, searching for a way to blame yourself even more than you already will.”

        “They’re not journals. They’re… workbooks.” Michael takes it back. “He made himself workbooks for virtue and empathy. Can you believe it?”

         “Not really, no.”

         “I’d assumed they were journal's so I left them alone, but they’re not. See?” Michael opens it and shows a few enochian question and answer segments. And what looks like lines of the same sentence written over and over and over again. “This one is…. Let me this k how to translate this … ‘The feelings and desires of others are of equal importance as my own regardless of my personal feelings for them.’  On the next page it ends up breaking into a frustrated rant on what Clary Turner can go do with her little glass figurines, but it’s….” Michael gives a brief smile. “He really really tried to make sure the twins got properly socialized. They’re not very cooperative, though. Like their father they seem to think that anyone outside the family is a waste of space.”

      “That’s kind of a common twin thing, though, I think.” Jeff nudges him. 

       “He loved then “

       “I know.”

       “He didn’t want to, but he did. What did I do? What did I say? Why didn’t I see how much pain he was in?”

       “No. Mike don’t…”Jeff just rubs  Michael’s back. “Don’t think yet. It’s not time for that. Just come here and be miserable for a little while.” He has to get a little aggressive with the hug but as usual, Michael just crumbles into it. Granted Jeff usually has to get a few drinks in him first to get him to let go, but this is worse than anything they’ve talked about before. “It’s okay. I’m here for you, Mike. Whatever you need, I’m here.” But as usual, what 

Michael needs is someone he doesn’t have to try to be strong for.

 

       “You’re still awake?” Abigail asks needlessly as she finds Chris wrapped up in a comforter on the recliner when she gets back into the apartment, “Are you drinking coffee?”

       “I don’t want to go to sleep.” Chris looks at the mug which once held hot chocolate 

       “Would a hug help?” She takes the cup from him and puts it down on the table.

      “Yeah.”

     “Okay,” She picks him up and sits down to snuggle with him in the chair. “The instant coffee is decaff, you know.” She informs him as he rests his head against her shoulder 

      “Oh,”

      “Are you worried about nightmares? Afraid to wake Riley?” Abigail guesses 

      “No. I just don’t want to sleep.” He replies quietly. “Riley won’t wake me if he wakes up, but he’ll come looking for me if I’m not there, so…”

     “Ah. I see.” She nods and rubs his shoulder. 

     “What do you think Dad’s doing? Wherever he is. What do they do in the abyss? Heaven is good memories, Hell is a nightmare, purgatory’s just nonstop monster flicks, so what do you think it’s like in the abyss? Is he dreaming? Does he get to sleep without dreams at all? Do you think he’s happy or in pain or just nothing at all?” Chris sounds so expectant as if he thinks she’d have any more way of knowing, than he does.

       “I don’t know, Chris. Buy I do know that in the abyss, souls heal. The darkness drains away. I don’t know if it’s peaceful or pleasant or painful or what it consists of, but I know it helps them heal and that’s a good thing.”Abigail’s low voice is kind of comforting in itself and makes it easier for Chris to just take in her words and think about it quietly.

         “I didn’t know he was hurting so badly “ Chris says after a minute. “We should have behaved better and tried better to Make friends and go on those play dates that were so important to him. We shouldn’t have been so difficult or… I don’t know. We should have been better children.”

          “No, it doesn’t work like that.” Abigail repeats her mother’s words to her earlier, trying to make the empty sounds have more meaning now.”It’s more complicated. It wasn’t you or Riley or any of us. That’s not why he wants… wanted to die. He loved all of us and was becoming better for it, but we can’t know how hard and painful it was becoming good after being bad for so long, or what else was wrong. Brains are complicated and sometimes they just… lead loving people to bad decisions through good intentions. He probably thought it was all for the best. You think you hurt him somehow, he might have thought him being alive was hurting us all somehow. People think stupid things for stupid reasons sometimes. Trying to make sense out of the pain, but life doesn’t actually work that way.” It’s hard to tell if this helps Chris any. As true and she knows it to be, it didn’t help Abigail feel any better but people are all different.

      “He knew he was going to leave us before he even left the building. He wouldn’t let me help him escape even though he escaped anyways on his own. Why would he be so strict about not letting me help?”

       “Oh, Chris. Don’t do that. Don’t think you could have out thought or out guessed him. You’re nine.” Abigail kisses his head. “You haven’t lived long enough to get that slippery yet.”

      “Chris?” They hear as a door creaks open behind them. “You don’t have to worry. I have a tampon and a pad so I promise I won’t bleed all over you or anything.”

      “We’re in the chair.” Chris raises his hand to wave at her over the top of the recliner.

      “Oh. Hi Abigail.” Riley drags their comforter over with her. “Can I join you or are we too big now?”

      “You’re not too big.” Abigail lies and let’s Riley climb up as well. It’s a tight fit, but the two manage to comfortably settle in their cousin’s arms.

     “Is mom okay?” Riley asks as she spreads the comforter over all three of them.

     “I called Uncle Jeff.” Chris reassures her.  

      “Oh, good.” The twins fall silent, holding onto each other’s hands across Abigail’s stomach. She considers having them go back to bed, but not tonight. She can sleep later, when everything is okay.    

 

       There isn’t much change, at least as far as the eye can see. Helel us still asleep, frozen on the bed in a chilly room. But there’s no frost forming on the window, and a few layers are enough to endure the chill. Ariel looks almost happy.

       “Did Raphael come back?” Mule asks as he can’t help but notice a large jade stone in his wife’s hands, close to her cheek.

      “No. He sent us his grace. It seems to be helping a little. Her counterpart’s harsh, uncalled for and i felt needlessly abrasive words seems to have had an effect.”

     “She was here?” Mule can’t look away.

      “Yes.” Ariel tightens her lips briefly then looks to Ben who’s standing beside his father. They both look completely and utterly defeated. “Helel is healing. Faster. Years instead of eons. And she’ll be able to wake soon. I can’t do much but stand watch. She still won’t let me in, but if either of you need help, you know where I’ll be.”

      “I’m not hurt.” Ben says dully.

      “It’s been a long day.” Mule puts a hand on Ben’s shoulder. “ I’ll come and get you when your mother wakes.”

      “Yes, dad.” Ben turns and walks out of the room, going back to his bedroom. Everything’s the same since he left and proceeded to ruin everyone’s life, including his own. He doesn’t know what to do right now. Lie down, never get up again, never do anything again as long as he lives. It wouldn’t fix anything, but at least nothing else would go wrong/because of him.

       “Ben “ his father is surprisingly at his door. “I’m sorry. You’re not alright. I’m not alright. I tried to save you and made things worse. Repeatedly.”

       “So that’s where I get it from.” Ben comments blankly, then frowns as his father walks over with a slight new limp. “Did… did Ariel kick you?”He’s not sure why he gets that kind of impression, but his father just gives him a sheepish grin.

        “No. Your mother did.” Mule sits down and rubs the top of his shin. “We don’t have to talk about anything, but maybe neither of us should be alone right now.”

        “It’s okay if you want to go off hunting, dad.” Ben looks at his hands. “ I promise to behave this time and stay with mom.”

        “No.. I.. I’m not going hunting n for a while. Not unless I’m taking you with me.”

       “Take me hunting? So you want us to piss off mom so much she brute forces her way back to health and comes to kill us?” Ben’s dry response makes his father smiles.

         “If that’s what it takes. No, I’m fairly sure she’s giving it everything she has already. I’ll have to talk to her about this first, of course. If she can talk. If not, I am your father. I do have the right to make these kind of decisions.”Mule looks over at his son who looks absolutely panicked at the thought.

       “No. Dad, I can’t.. I just… I just completely and utterly failed at doing anything good or helpful and you died and he died and I can’t… No! I let everybody down. I’ll get you killed again or worse. Everything bad that’s happened is because of me being stupid and wrong and you want to take me on a hunting trip?”

       “Yes, Ben.”

       “Are you okay?” Ben just stares at him in that bewildered way that’s entirely his mother trying to comprehend someone’s complete and utter stupidity and/or sanity.

       “You need training, Ben.” Mule looks him dead in the eyes, not about to let him get away with that look. “And you need it out there, not in here, or the backyard or in a book. And you need to feel good about yourself because you’re not going to be able to function right if you don’t. Saving someone, it kind of makes you feel good about yourself. I know that’s not the right thing to focus on right now, or probably even the right reason to do something good ever. But I’ve just screwed up big time myself, repeatedly and I feel like shit about myself and absolutely everything I’ve ever done except make you. It’s pretty clear you’re feeling the same way.

      “Now, I don’t want you to feel the way I’m feeling right now and I know you don’t want me to feel the way you are right now, so I thought that maybe it would help us to feel a bit more worthwhile if we went out and saves some lives.” Mule looks him in the eyes. “Sound good to you?”

       “Kind of,” Ben can’t help but give a ghost of a smile. “ You… you’re sure you trust me to be your hunting partner?”

       “Absolutely not. You are a rank amateur. This is going to be an apprenticeship, not a partnership, and that’ll mean that you do what I tell you, soldier. Understand?” Ben quickly nods. “Good. You used to be good at that, but you’re becoming as big a smartass as your mother and I, I hear.But it does mean you’re going to have to trust me and my experience and defer to my judgement even if you think you know better. Are you sure you can do that?”.

       “Yes, Dad.” Ben smiles. “I’ll do my best anyways.” he amends, truthfully.

       “Good enough for now. Why don’t we go get something to eat and I’ll tell you about my last few hunts.” Mule stands up and gesture’s downstairs. 

       “I’ll cook.” Ben quickly volunteers before his father suggests something microwavable or ready to eat. 

       “You can cook now?” Oddly enough, his father seems impressed at this and heads down to the kitchen after Ben.

       “A little. Abigail and her father taught me “ Ben smiles proudly as he takes a pan from the cupboard and washes off the dust. “I’m better with a griddle.” He confesses and searches for a spatula.

      “What can you make so far?” His father pulls out a chair from the dining room on his way to the kitchen.

      “Breakfast?”

      “Breakfast sounds good.”


	71. Keeping It Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abigail's delivers letters, talks to her mother and goes on a date.  
>  Her father doesn't know what to do, but sticks to tradition in the end.

       Bree sits on the window sill in her room at the hotel. She expected more attention of some sort. Questioning, recriminations, accusations. It’s been a long time since she’s slipped through the cracks of someone’s notice. Maybe she should cause some trouble, go visit the Campbell’s traveling carnival again this year see what a few blood spells and herbal concoctions can do to to throw things in chaos. It’s been a while since she’s done that. Mary and Michael even made her help with a hunt one year. Who knows maybe even just showing up and giving the odd smile and wink at appropriate times will cause more trouble than actually doing anything. Something like that Raphael might even find amusing. Not that he’s here. Or that there’s really a point to much of anything anymore.

       “Gabriel.” And of course it’s Michael, not bothering to even knock or anything. Why would she start now.

        “Present.”She raises her hand, steeling herself for the interrogation.

        “Helel’s going to be alright.”

        “He was always going to be alright. Or are you talking about the other one? Which I know is a lie.”

        “Ours. Raphael’s grace is starting to heal her. Are you alright?” 

Is she alright? Is Michael seriously asking if she’s alright? Maybe he’s trying to play good cop to Mary’s eventual bad cop.

         “As I’ll ever be. What do you want?”

        “There’s going to be a new resident at the hotel.”

        “And I care because…”

        “Because she saved Ben In purgatory and we owe her our gratitude and appreciation. More specifically, because I don’t want you giving her any trouble.”

         “Wait, you mean the littlest angel actually managed to save her from purgatory?” Bree looks back surprised. 

          “Yes. He and his vessel did.” Michael sounds proud, dad help them.

          “So, can I take it you’re done looking for Raphael now that we don’t need him to heal Helel anymore?” Bree asks shortly.

          “Don’t change the subject.”

          “I’m really not. Just leave me alone, Michael. I’ll leave that human thing alone. So you just leave me all e and everyone will just leave everyone alone from now until forever. Okay? No one’s here to try anything else for anyways.” Bree looks back out the window.

           “Gabriel, I’m sorry I couldn’t…”

           “I don’t care. Now are you going to leave or am I going to have to jump out this window to get away from you?” She positions herself daring Michael to call her bluff. It makes her wonder though, if she jumped would anyone try to catch her now that Raphael’s not here?

            “I’ll have Claire get you for dinner.” Michael says and disappears instantly because she has to have the last word. It’s almost disappointing though. Such a pleasant conversation. She expected more from Michael. The phone to the room rings which is odd. She wasn’t sure it actually worked. And who’d have her number? It doesn’t stop ringing or go to voicemail or anything, so she walks over and picks it up.

       “Ahoy, Ahoy “

       “I talked to my son.” Mother Mary’s on the line, oddly enough. “Fine. But don’t push it.”

        “What? Oh, cool.” Bree hangs up. Well, not getting punched in the face by her sister in law anymore is a win. Mary Winchester as her sister in law is a permanent loss. Ah well, she has free time now. Maybe she can ruin their relationship somehow. After all Raphael’s not here to disappoint or upset. Who knows. Maybe instead of a threat to her marriage, she can make this Alex human thing a threat to Mary’s. As always the possibilities are endless. That’s one thing Helel never truly understood, neither of them, possibly none of them. 

 

       Abigail sits at her desk, just staring at the letters. One for her, one for Shelly, one for each of the twins. All in one envelope that was delivered in the mail care of Abigail Jodie Jones. She’s not sure why they were sent to her. It’s her uncle’s handwriting. But he could have sent them to everyone directly. He didn’t have to send them to her. Not all of them.

        Maybe he thought that if he didn’t, they might not get them. Maybe it’s his way of apologizing again for calling her irresponsible. Maybe he drew straws. Maybe if his relationship with Shelly wasn’t strained right now, he’d have sent them to her. Shelly’d probably open them all and read them first, though. Abigail smiles at the thought. That would be why. The twins might even have done the same. She gets the feeling anyone but her abba would. But her uncle didn’t send them to abba either.

       Abigail puts them in a purse, the only black one she has,to match her black clothing, and heads out of her room. The twins are probably in theirs and Shelly’s probably with Alice in hers. Sure enough, Chris and Riley are just holding each other on the bottom bunk, listening to the recordings of their Father’s concerts, probably the recordings he had made when the ‘official’ ones didn’t come out well enough.

      “Hello,” Abigail kneels by the edge of the bed. The twins look over at her with the same dull looks and force smiles of hello. The one who does it better is Chris. “Your father sent me some things for you, before he left I assume” she hands them their letters. Riley looks at her envelope as Chris hugs his to his chest.

       “What is it?” Riley asks.

       “I don’t know. A letter I presume. I haven’t looked at mine yet. I wanted to give you yours first.” Abigail looks at them both.

       “Thank you, Abigail.” Chris says accepting that, though Riley looks at her a bit suspiciously.

      “Does Shelly have one?”

      “Yes. I’m going to give it to her next.”

      “Thanks.” Riley rips it into quarters and tosses it behind her head, though a locker key falls out onto Chris’ head when she does so. “Sorry.” She takes it from his forehead and kisses the spot as he glares at her. Chris clearly doesn’t want to fight but isn’t happy about what she just did to her letter. “You can read yours if you want. I just don’t.”

      “Do you want me to stay while you do?” Abigail offers 

      “No. I have Riley Herr when I’m ready to read it.” Chris shakes his head.

      “I’m here if either of you need me.” Their cousin kisses each of their cheeks and hugs them before heading out again. She knocks this time.

     “You can come in.” Alice answers, so she does. Shelly’s asleep on the bed glommed onto a mass of pillows and sheets that are probably the reason Alice can sit at the window instead of being her girlfriends body pillow. “How are you feeling?”

    “I don’t know yet.” Abigail replies truthfully. “Has Shelly been asleep long?”

     “An hour or so, but she’s napping a lot lately, so I don’t know when she’ll wake up.”

     “Can you give this to her when she does?” Abigail hands her the letter.

      “Sure, but she won’t mind if you wake her and talk to her yourself “ Alice says hesitantly.

      “It’s from our Uncle. Thank you, though.” Abigail walks out again. Her mother’s at the fridge looking at leftovers. “Mom?”

      “Hey, honey.” Her mother closes the refrigerator door and gives that sad sympathetic smile everyone gives when someone close to you died.   

       “You’re not really affected by this at all are you?” Abigail asks, though it’s not what she intended to ask.

       “You’re Uncle and I had a strange relationship of mutual tolerance and grudging respect. I’m not sure how I’m affected by it yet. It doesn’t really seem real yet, I suppose. I’m sorry if that upsets you. I know how important he was to you.” Her mom says softly in her calm therapist voice, as she walks over. “C’mere.” At least she doesn’t ask any questions and just hugs her daughter silently, I’m here if you need to talk. So is your father no matter how upset you think he is. Sometimes people need to share their grief with others who are grieving just as badly.”

       “I know, mom.” Abigail rests her head against her mother’s shoulder just relaxing. Maybe her mother’s expecting her to cry. She feels a little badly that she doesn’t. Her parents might feel better if they saw Abigail cry.

      “We all have each other, Abigail. Your uncles, your cousins. We’re all here, together loving and supporting each other. You don’t need to be strong for us. You can be upset. You can be angry. Or’s alright. You don’t have to force yourself to be okay. We can handle it if you aren’t.”

      “I’m not forcing myself to be anything, mom. I’m not repressing my feelings or hiding them. I just feel how I feel or don’t feel what I don’t feel right now. Uncle’s not here. But life goes on. We all still have things to do.” Abigail says simply, though she doesn’t feel like letting go yet. Sometimes it’s just nice to have her mommy. “Shelly and I still have to finish clearing out Uncle’s stuff so Alice can have her own decent sized room instead of just our guest room. The twins probably took most of it, but you know.  Shelly’s probably going to steal half the stuff from the closet now that the twins have gone through it. Tris is still half turned, making it a world record probably. I have to help her. I have a date with Jamal that I am not going to reschedule again. I have to see Via and Tank again this weekend. The twins aren’t okay yet so I’ll have to make the date something a bit more private and formal, away from the family. And then what about the other Harahel’s vessel and the other you in his arm. What’s happening with them?”

        “Your father took care of it.”

        “Did he take care of it in a way he could take care of Tris, too?”

        “No, honey. Tris doesn’t exist in that other thread.”

        “Oh.” Abigail takes a deep breath. “Is Mr. Healy moved in downstairs yet?”

        “Yes, honey.” Her mother just keeps stroking Abigail’s hair. 

        “Is it bad that I’m kind of okay?”

        “No, honey.” Alex smiles, pretending for the moment that her daughter is actually okay. “Feelings aren’t bad, actions are.”

         “Please don’t get all therapeutic on me mom.”

         “ Ask a psychological question, get a psychological answer.” Alex kisses the top of her daughter’s head. “Be okay. Be not okay. Just be Abigail that’s all.”

         “Okay.”

         “Love you, Abby.”

         “Love you too, mom.” Abigail finally breaks and at and heads into her room to read her Uncle’s letter.

 

         Raphael just stares at his daughter’s closed door. It’s been closed so much more these last few months than it’s ever been before. And it hasn’t really seemed to be a good thing. Part of him wants to just take it away entirely so he never has to be taken by surprise again by the danger his daughter is in. Maybe he should trust her less. Maybe he should trust her more. He doesn’t know. 

         Parenthood is a delicate thing. He doesn’t know what the right thing to do is, and he doesn’t know what’s best for her right now. He may never think he knows again. He thought everything was going so well but they’re just… growing apart. Is it inevitable? Is it good for her to be shutting him out so much? 

         There’s a knock on the door. And it’s not a family member. When he opens it, he sees a boy in a white dress shirt and black. He’s holding some flowers, white lilies. 

         “I’m… I’m here for Abigail? Mr. Jones. Sir.” He gulps.

         “You must be Jamal.” Alex comes over, putting her arm in her husband’s. “She’ll be right out. Would.you like to take a seat?”

         “No, thank you. My mother’s waiting in the car.” He explains, giving 

Abigail’s father a few nervous glances. 

         “You brought flowers. How thoughtful.”

         “Um, yeah. I didn’t know which she’d like, but Rose said these would be best for her today.” He looks at the lilies. “Does she… does she not like lilies?”

        “They’re beautiful.” Abigail says as she comes out of her room. She’s in a beautiful black dress with a sequined mini jacket and black stockings with Black shoes, a black purse, and her hair up in a bun with a black ribbon around it. “Thank you.” She walks over and takes them. “Do I have time to put them in water?”

         “I’ll take care of them.” Raphael.takes them from his daughter. “His mother is waiting.”

         “Let me see your cell phone.” Alex holds out her hand. Abigail gives it to her. It’s fully charged. “Do you have money?”

         “I’m paying ma’am, she doesn’t need any.” Jamal says standing taller. Alex just smiles at him.

         “Good habits need to be started.early.” She takes her wallet from her purse and gives Abigail a couple bills, and a small portable charger. “I expect this back if nothing happens. And don’t forget your bracelet.” She takes out a feathered bracelet and a small feathered pin she fastens to Jamal’s tie. “So you match.” She winks at her daughter.

       “I did almost forget. Thank you mom.” Abigail hugs her then turns back to Jamal. “We can go.”

        “Okay. Goodbye Mr. And Mrs. Jones.” He nods and leads her out the hallway. Alex closes the door behind them.

        “What’s with that stunned look, Raph. She asked us about this days ago.” Alex chides him.

        “Yes, days ago before Helel was killed.” Raphael reminds her. “I thought she would have canceled it.”

         “I think if she canceled it at this point there wouldn’t be another chance.”

         “Isn’t that the idiot that made her cry about boys being stupid?” he demands. “I thought she was mourning. I thought….”

          “She is mourning. She’s wearing black.”

           “I thought she liked Ben.” Raphael adds.

           “I think right now she needs to just step out of this world for an hour or two. With someone who doesn’t know all of this. Someone she won’t feel the need to take care of.” 

            “How do you come by that?”

            “Well, she is my daughter. She gets some things from me. As for Ben, he doesn’t live in this thread of existence, Raph. Besides it’s not as if she and Jamal went out to get married tonight. Let her date more than one person before she settles down.”

             “She didn’t talk to me about it. She’s not talking to me about anything.” He snaps the lilies into a small pot with water, plant food and pebbles.

            “I know, she actually talked to me a little bit. Or let me talk. Sucks for you but I kind of like getting closer with my daughter. Don’t think she’ll ever stop being Daddy’s little girl, though.” Alex hugs him and gives him a quick kiss.

             “I don’t know what to do.” Raphael confesses. “It used to be so easy.”

            “Yeah. We had Luci running interference when Abigail had something she didn’t want to talk to.us about. Now we don’t have that buffer.” Alex takes him by the hand and leads him back to the bedroom. “Not that I was entirely comfortable with that, but since she’d always consult with us after and it seemed like he was giving her actual good-ish advice.”

       “I know. What are we doing here?” he looks around the bedroom.

        “Snuggling. I think you need some snuggles. Maybe a few kisses. It’s up to you. Or we can talk about why you’re not talking to Michael right now. Or we could also take comfort in each other defying the inevitability.of death in the most human, most traditional, time honored way. Whatever you need.”  the mention of the inevitability of death makes Raphael hold tightly onto his wife until tradition seems the only sensible option.

 

 


	72. Falling Apart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Riley fights with her mother  
> The archangels are in disharmony  
> Abigail's greif bubbles up and Ben has bad timing

    “Unbelievable,” Abigail looks up as her mother sees the balance in the trust papers.”He couldn’t have paid back the shelter with any of this?”

   “What do you mean?” Abigail can’t help but be a little curious as to her mother’s outburst.

    “Nothing.” Her mother shakes her head and goes to sit down, but can’t stop grinning anyways.

    “It wasn’t that funny.” Her father says stubbornly.

    “Yes it was.”

    “Hot damn, Abs.” Shelly grabs the papers from her aunt Alex as she blips in behind her. “You and the twins. I’m so jealous.”

    “Why are you jealous? You can make anything you want just pop out of this air.” Abigail reminds her.

    “Well, yeah, I guess, but it’s not actually as easy as it sounds.” Shelly frowns at her. “I mean, it’s not like I can really practice without having to worry about causing too much damage if I screw up. And it’s not like I can really practice without having to worry about causing too much damage if I screw up. And it’s not actually out of thin air. The pieces have to come from somewhere.”

       “I didn’t realize you thought about that sort of thing.” Abigail looks a little impressed 

       “Yes, well, I do. Money’s easier “ Shelly plops down on the nearest beanbag. “So jealous. She just left me a lousy map.” Shelly sighs. “It’s not even an old one. It’s a subway map. I really just can’t find myself getting too excited over whatever it leads to right now. A little treasure hunt’s a suckey substitute for Uncle Helel. And I know he’s not nearly humble or self effacing enough to think it would be. Maybe I’ll just laminate it, slit his throat with it when he comes back.” Shelly grumbles half under her breath. Abigail just looks at her with fairly appropriate hostility. “Sorry. I’ve kind of been extra moody lately.” Shelly sighs and looks away. “And tired.”

       “You’re pregnant. It’s to be expected.” Raphael pats his neicea head and hands her a cup of tea.

       “All this tea. You’re always giving me tea and it’s not the fun kind like you gave to dad either. Am I suddenly British now and can’t live without a culpa? Do I have to start calling everything I eat tea?  Can you at least give me some tea cakes and biscuits with this crap?” Shelly grumbles some more but sips her tea anyways.

       “It’s a prenatal infusion and it’s good for you “ Raphael says sternly.

       “It tastes so terrible it has to be.” 

       “Don’t be such a brat “ Abigail scolds her.

       “I’ll be as much a brat as I want to be until I give birth. That’s the perks of this thing.” Shelly sticks out her tongue at her unamused little cousin.

       “So?!” They hear Riley yelling in the hall again. “We don’t have five star coaches and overbearing stage mothers pushing us into it from toddlerhood. Everybody has ‘advantages’!”

       “The answer is no, Riley.” Michael sounds on the verge of yelling himself.

        “Nobody asked you, you whore.” There’s a moment of pure stunned silence right before Riley slams the door open. A red faced Jeff is carrying the twins backpacks with an extremely taken aback Michael, who’s expression makes Gabriel wince and hide behind Raphael on pure instinct. 

       “Denise Sahar Angelo, you apologize to your Uncle Jeff right this second or you are in big trouble, young lady!”

       “My name is Riley and I’m a fucking BOY today!”

       “Your room. NOW.”

       “I don’t want to be out here anyways. Come on, Chris.” Riley storms off into her room.

       “No. Chris, stay out here. You’re sleeping in the guest room tonight.” Michael puts his hand on his son’s chest to keep him from following his twin into the bedroom. “Riley stops and turns back, an absolutely horrified expression on her face. There’s an even more deadly silence as her mother just stares her down.

       “I HATE YOU!!!!” the slam of the door is almost enough to make patches of drywall fall off the ceiling.

      “Wh..” Raphael starts to ask but stops himself at Michael’s glare.

      “Neither of them is to cross that doorstep.” Michael says firmly before disappearing.

      “Jeff?” Gabriel sidles up to the incredibly uncomfortable looking man.”Mind telling us what that was about?”

       “I do mind.” He replies. Gabriel doesn’t press it because Michael can be far scarier than any of them.

       “Riley wants to train for the Olympics. Mom said no because we have Uncle Raph and that’s an unfair advantage. Even just being the children of angels at all…” Chris tells, deciding to give Jeff a break.

       “That’s a dumb reason so it’s probably not the whole one.” Gabriel shakes her head. “ She’s a bit of a meathead but not actually stupid. I’ll talk to her. What do you want to compete in? Something dangerous, right?”

        “Curling.” Chris nods solemnly.

       “What?” Gabriel’s actually taken aback a second, though Shelly snickers.

       “I’m just kidding,” Chris grins. “We want to do it together so pairs figure skating. If we make it to the next Olympics I could probably still play the girl.”

       “That was a good one.” Shelly grins. “We totally should though. The four of us could be a family curling team.”

      “Don’t be foolish, Michelle.” Abigail scolds her.

      “Figure skating, you know you'd have to touch her naughty bits at some point, right? With the lifts or some of them.” Shelly points out 

       “Did you really just say Naughty bits?” Chris raises and amused eyebrow at her.

       “I didn’t realize there were any bits of them that weren’t naughty.” Abigail comments and gets to her feet. “I’m going to talk to Riley. If that’s alright.” she looks to her parents. Her mother nods and after a quick glance between her parents her father nods, too.

       “Thank you, Abigail.” Chris smiles, and goes to sit down beside Shelly.

         “Riley.” Abigail knocks on the door.

        “Go away!”

        “I promised Chris I’d go talk to you.” Abigail says quietly. There’s silence and then the click of the unlocking door. “Thank you.” She goes in just as Riley throws himself down on the bed.

         “My mother is an asshole.”

         “Your mother just lost your father and you just told her you wanted to join an organization traditionally rife with pedophiles and sexual abusers in order to dance on ice with blades strapped to your feet while you throw yourselves and each other around at great speeds in unprotective costumes. One she can’t even go near if she has her grace.” Abigail points out. “And even if she is just an asshole, she is still your mother and deserves more respect than you’ve been giving her lately, miss potty mouth.”

      “Oh for…She's not worried because it’s dangerous. I mean name one person who died in a freak ice skating accident. One.”

      “Irene Peckitt. A farmer and mother who hit her head after falling while she was wanting got concussed and died of it.” Abigail says flatly.

      “You made that up.” Riley narrows his eyes at her. Abigail just hands her phone over  “This still isn’t as dangerous as hunting or even us just existing. And Mom didn’t say it was for our sake. She said it was because it wasn’t fair to anyone else and that’s fucking stupid.”

      “What’s not fair? You are human, ordinarily human just like me.”

      “The fact we’ll get healed so quickly and that our father taught us to skate so well when we went out, and that… that is really stupid. Maybe it’s not the really real reason, but I don’t care. Why do we have to stay buried in a world that hates us?” Riley throws himself down on the pillows. 

      “What are you talking about, Ri, nobody hates you.” Abigail gently places a hand on his back.

       “No, they hate our father and yeah maybe that’s kind of fair because he was the devil and did bad things and tried to end the world and everything, but everyone had a part in that and everyone else was forgiven and you know they all think we’re just rotten little hellspawn who’ll never be anything but as bad as he was. Even when we were nice and polite and I didn’t swear, but it never made a difference.

         “They’re afraid of us, and don’t want us around and we get blamed for everything!” 

        “But, you do most of what you’re blamed for. And you get away with most of what you do, so don’t give me that.” Abigail chides her.

       “You’re not there. You don’t know. And do you know what will be even worse? Going back and having them all pitying and talk about dad some more and I just want to hit everyone and destroy things and make them shut up for good.”

       “ Well, most people would translate that into maybe hunting or something. Proving their goodness and value to humanity while also getting to hit and destroy things.” Abigail suggests, “Why Olympic figure skating? Were you two watching Blades of Glory again?”she teases.”Remember, Stanz and Fairchild are not role models.” This gets a laugh from Riley at least.

        “Ew. No. And No on hunting too. I don’t want Chris to sacrifice his life for people that just look down on us. I don’t want to prove I’m ‘good’ just so I have the right to exist. I want to be me and I want Chris to be Chris and I want us to be together and be us and shine like the brightest stars and make them all glad we exist without doing anything useful or worthwhile at all!”

         “You want to be a celebutante?”

         “No. I also want to create something beautiful with my brother that no one can keep. We could probably do ballroom dancing or something or ballet but I don’t know. The Olympics are the biggest stage and it’ll be us against the whole world. It’s the most popular winter sport so everyone will be watching it and it’s something dad gave us that we don’t have to worry about anyone thinking is bad or evil or corrupting or…It’s just beautiful. That’s all.”

        “I see.” Abigail leans over to hug Riley’s back. “ Did you tell Aunt Miqa all this?”

        “No.” Riley says miserably. “I just get so mad. She wouldn’t even listen or let me talk. It doesn’t matter. I knew she’s say no. Why would she say yes? I don’t care! I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING!” Riley screams into her pillow and starts crying, not letting Abigail hold her or try to comfort her anymore. “Go away! Just go away and leave me alone.”

        “I’m sorry.” Chris runs into the room, to comfort his twin, who readily accept him. “I won’t even pretend to obey a stupid punishment like that again. I won’t let anyone keep us apart for even a minute.” Abigail slips back out, closing the door behind her. She’s not sure which is more interesting, that Chris clearly intended to sneak in to Riley the first chance he got or that neither her father or Aunt Bree bothered to enforce Aunt Michael’s edict 

       “I swear…” Gabriel takes a breath, covering her eyes. “ That girl. It’s like Luci and Miqa had a child together.” Her face turns red almost instantly as if realizing what she just said and hoping everyone will be kind enough to overlook it.

        “Having a blonde moment, are we, mother dear?” Shelly grins as everyone stares at the angel.

        “Are you okay?” Alex’s question turns into a laugh.

        “Whatever’s wrong with her is nothing I can fix.” Raphael just shakes his head.

         “Shut up! It’s been a long day.”

         “It’ll be even longer when Auntie Miqa finds out you just let Chris run right in there.” Shelly thankfully points out so Abigail doesn’t have to.

           “I will never enforce an order to keep siblings from each other.” Gabriel says cooly. “ If he doesn’t know that, then he should.”

            “Now is when Chris and Riley need each other the most. Especially if Riley is taking her anger out on Michael.”

            “That implies he doesn’t deserve any of it.” Gabriel mutters. Raphael just gives her a pleading look not to fight in front of the children.”Fine. But you know this is going to go up in flames.”

            “I have no idea what to do about this.” Raphael confesses. “Michael won’t talk to me, but we can’t let them start a war with each other.”

           “Just… just give them a little while.” Alex reaches over to put her hand on her husband's. “I’ll see what I can do.”

           “She did call her mother’s best friend a whore.” Abigail reluctantly reminds them, feeling the odd need to defend her Auntie. “And spoke to her mother incredibly disrespectfully. Punishing her isn’t exactly out of line.”

            “Yeah, but separating them was beyond severe. Especially now.” Shelly points out. “Just send her to bed without dinner or something. Besides that punishes Chris too and he didn’t do anything wrong.”

            “The threat of separation was the only thing that would work sometimes.” Alex remonds them all.

            “That’s true enough. They’re both as stubborn as their parents.” Gabriel admits. 

            “Honestly it might have worked this time if Riley had been warned.” Alex continues. “And to be fair, Michael has never had to do this completely alone before. I think Luci tempered most of the disciplining. Either before and after and smoothed things over on both ends. They each needed balance and Luci did help balance Michael out.”

            “We’re still here, though. Michael doesn’t have to do this alone.” Raphael protests.

            “Michael doesn’t exactly listen to us, Raph. You know that. He barely listens to you. And never to me.”

            “You know, for him to listen, you have to be talking to him.” She nudges Gabriel’s leg. “He listens more than you might think.”

             “ Well, since I think ‘not since I first spoke has she listened’ I guess that would kind of have to be true, wouldn’t it?” Gabriel snaps. “Sorry, Raph. I’m going back to work and leaving you to deal with her when she comes back!”

             “That would be best.”

            “I’ll tell Thor to come over later and drag Michael out for a brawl or something. So let me know when she’s back and a little more chill about the kids.” Gabriel disappears. “Maybe I’ll just have him text her or something. If they can keep from breaking their phones. I swear even a samsungs not safe in their hands.”

            “I don’t think you…” Raphael starts then just gives a sigh as his wife shoots him a meaningful look. When she was younger Abigail used to think her mother was cheating by praying to him or something, but now she kind of thinks they just know each other that well. “Maybe. Trouncing the Aesir will put her in a better mood.”

             “It usually does.” Alex reminds him. There’s a knock at the front door. “It’s open.” She calls back to it. Raphael just gets to his feet and goes to open the door. “Isn’t it Jeff? He always knocks when we have the apartments merged.”

             “No, it isn’t. Welcome back Ben.” He gently greets the nephilim, giving him a hug as Ben just stands in the doorway, his Harahel standing protectively behind him.

             “Is everyone here?” He asks, rubbing his arm a bit uncomfortably when Raphael lets go.

             “Almost. Come in, have a seat.” Raphael offers.

             “Hey, Benji! I have a sonogram. Want to see my kidney?” Shelly waves from the recliner. Ben gives an almost smile at this and walks over. “Aunt Miqa’s not here, she’s off with Jeff. The twins are consoling each other after Riley had a fight with her mom and here’s my kidney. Isn’t it adorable?” she holds up the sonogram as Ben leans on the back of the recliner to look. “Brucie is one of the blobs, maybe.”

              “You’ve decided on Bruce for sure, then?” Ben makes a face 

             “What’s wrong with Bruce?”Shelly asks indignantly.

             “I dunno. It’s just so Australian.”

             “Oooo, I’ll have to have mom talk in nothing but an Australian accent with me until he’s like four so he’ll have a cut little accent of his own.” Shelly gives a little day dreamy smile.

            “ Absolutely not.” Raphael says sternly. “Children are not for your entertainment, Michelle.”

             “She was kidding, Raph,” his wife grins.

             “No she wasn’t.” Abigail corrects her mother.

            “Do you think I can go in and talk to the twins? Are they… would they want to see me?”

            “BENS HERE! DO YOU TWO BRARS WANT TO SEE HIM?” Shelly yells back toward the twins room. Ben just gives her an unamused look. “They said yes.”

             “They did say yes “ Raphael affirms when Ben looks a bit suspicious at the reply he didn’t hear.

              “Okay “ he hands the sonogram back and takes a breath before going over to the twins room.

               “I’ll be right back.” Shelly says after a moment and disappears. Abigail just sits there, listening to the mumbling noise of the conversation. 

           There’s no yelling, which is good. No throwing, no fighting. Just a conversation. They’re not angry, or at least have forgiven him his mistakes.   There’s no reason not to forgive him for his mistakes. He’s not an adult. He doesn’t really understand about demons. He was groomed and manipulated most likely.

            But the fact remains if he had never come, it wouldn’t have happened. Her uncle would still be here.  He’d still be depressed, talking to her parents a lot, making up with Aunt Michael. They always do. Uncle would be here, helping her find a cure for Tris, letting her talk about her problems.

           But he’s not. Because Ben came and Ben’s not going to stay. He has his own life and his own family and his own thread of existence. He just came and everything he did, every choice he made led up to this. He did the wrong thing that he knew was the wrong thing. Over and over, everyone’s going to just tell him it’s not his fault. As if he has no responsibility for his actions at all  but the truth is any moment he could have made a different choice and Abigail’s beloved uncle would still be alive.

        It won’t make any difference to him. He’ll be forgiven and go home, back to his life with family all intact, losing nothing, missing nothing, feeling nothing of all the pain he caused. He won’t be here when the twins suffer their loss, when they need their father and he’s not there. He won’t be the one holding then at night when the nightmares comes and Riley will have nightmares. She practically watched her father die. But none of that will make a difference to Ben. He’ll be home with his angel and his parents and his life. Everything he leaves behind him will be in tatters and he just gets to walk away.

          “Abigail.” He sounds so happy as he comes out of the room and walks towards her. Why shouldn’t he be? He hasn’t lost anything? “Aunt Bree helped me make an app for my phone that lets me call over here. It’s kind of a variation on that mirror your father has. Shelly already has it on her phone and all you or anyone else has to do is call my number and it’ll go through. Here. It’s 666-616-*666.” He holds out a price of paper. Is that supposed to be funny? “I can’t stay very long. My mom only let me come back to see the twins and say goodbye and everything. I…” he takes a breath. “I still want to keep in touch with you if you can forgive me for all the mistakes I made, and all the trouble I caused.”

           He sounds sincere enough but there’s just this tone to it. It doesn’t sound like a real apology, it sounds like a formality. Like he thinks he’s already been forgiven or that she doesn’t actually blame him. Is that what he expects her to say? That it’s alright? That losing her uncle is a small price to pay to meet some boy she’ll never see again, because it’s not. Or maybe he just thinks that her loss, her pain isn’t even worth considering compared to his regret and should just be shoved aside as a matter of course.

           “No “ Abigail stands up and walks to her room without another word, closing and locking the door behind her.


	73. Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter in this book.

     Ben can feel his breath catch in his throat, as he hears the click of the door locking him out. It feels like he’s suffocating 

    “Ben,” Shelly’s back with a small basket.

     “She said no.” He says weakly just staring at the door. Tue adults are giving him sympathetic looks but not moving to intervene. They must blame him too.

      “Let her cool off. She’ll be fine. I’ll get her to talk to you soon enough.” Shelly puts an arm around his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.”

      “Okay “ he crosses his arms.

      “C’mon, let's head back to your place. I want to talk to your parents.”

      “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Especially Grandma and Aunt Bree are home bmat the moment arguing with Dad about taking me hunting. Though I’m fairly sure Aunt Bree’s opposing it so it seems like a better idea.”

       “Nah, it’ll be fine. Everyone loves me.” She grabs Hus arm. “C’mon.”

       “I… I still have to talk to your Aunt Michael.”

       “Hahaha, no. You don’t. Not yet. Right Uncle Raph?” She turns to her Aunt and Uncle for verification. Raphael just shakes his head.

       “Better to let him come to you when he’s ready.” Alex smiles weakly.

       “Okay,” Ben let's his sister pull him into the ether. His angel follows after them. 

        “Abba?”  Abigail calls quietly from inside.

        “Yes, Abigail?” Raphael’s silent for a moment. “Of course. Put on something warm. I’ll find you a coat.”

 

        “Is this your room?” Shelly peeks in the door next to the frosted one at the top of the stairs.

        “Yes.” Ben says dully and follows her in.

        “It’s so…. boring.” She puts her hands on the empty desk. “You don’t have anything personal here.”

        “What are you talking about? It’s my room. Just because it’s not an explosion of personality vomited up over everything like yours doesn’t mean there’s nothing personal.” He crosses his arms.

        “Where are your pictures of your friends and family?” She looks at the bare walls.

        “I don’t have friends and family pictures are in the library and on my computer.”

         “No medals or trophies? Even sucky little participation ones they give out as a co isolation prize to the parents?”

         “I’ve never been in a competition.” Ben says simply.

         “What about stuffed animals? Or favorite toys of any kind?”

         “Everything's in the shed except this little toy plane.” Ben reaches up to a shelf and takes down a small metal world war one style plane with little metal wheels and most of the paint faded. “It was my grandfathers. His father had given it to him after his father first bought it for him. It kind of skipped over dad or something because it has lead paint I think and Grandma and Great grandpa didn’t get along. But why would I toys here? This is just for sleeping and studying.” Ben starts to feel a little offended.

        “You don’t even have anything you made or someone made you. There are no cartoon characters, or anything “ she starts opening drawers to his dresser as he puts the plane back. “Ha! Underoos!” Shelly holds up a pair of Hulk Boxer Breifs.

         “Those were a gift. Uncle Dean thinks my room is boring too. And my clothes.” Ben confesses. “Generally when it’s my birthday I get things like gift cards or movie passes or taken out in public, like an amusement park or Chuck E Cheese.”

         “What is that like Gary Gouda’s?” Shelly tosses the undies and pulls out a few books from the book shelf before lifting the mattress of his bed.

         “What on earth are you doing?” He picks his underwear up and puts them back, folding them in the process.

         “Just checking for porn. It’d probably be on your computer, though.” Shelly starts to look around for his laptop.

          “I don’t have anything pornographic in my room. Even if I wanted to my mother’s an angel. How would I be able to even get away with it?”

         “Hmm, I dunno, you’ll probably just turn out weird like those guys who got turned on by knees and ankles and ears showing way back when. Get repressed enough and anything female will be porn. Or male or whatever if you swing that way.” Shelly goes back to the bed again suddenly and checks the back corner of the bed, near the wall. “Hello, what’s this?” She pulls an envelope out from inside the sheet.

      “It’s not a porbographic image in any conceivably way.”

      “It’s as close as you can get without me killing you for it.” Shelly holds up the demigoddess photo shoot picture. Abigail in a white silk chiton with a sash and a crown of poppies and in her hair. The hems are embroidered with poppies and her nails and lips are painted as red as the flowers. She’s barefoot and sitting on a golden lounge in front of what looks like the background of a Greek temple. Her head is resting on her arm which is draped lazily over the swell of the lounge. Only her smile makes her look thirteen. “Does she know you have one of these?”

       “Does she have to?” Ben’s cheeks get almost as red as the poppies. 

        “Here, I’ll laminate it for you so it doesn’t get ruined with gross and sticky b..”

         “HEY! What are you accusing me of?” Ben demands furiously. She just raises an eyebrow. “I’m not some… pervert, Michelle.”

         “No. You’re a teenage boy. Everybody knows what teenage boys do. It’s part of life.” She waves her hand over the picture and puts it back where she found it.”

         “I’m not like that. So…”

         “I’ll have to make sure you get a new one every year, though. I really don’t want you to have a picture of a thirteen year old girl by your bed when you’re like twenty or something. That would be just… no.” Shelly considers and grins at him.” At Christmas. It’ll make it a stocking stuffer.” she winks at him with a joke he doesn’t quite understand. “ maybe your birthday present. When is your birthday by the way?”

          “September seventh.”

          “The fuck?”

          “I was really early.” Ben rubs his arm uncomfortably.

          “The twins were too.”

          “I’ve never done anything right, I guess. Not even being born.”

          “Oh shut up. You’re fine.” Shelly shoves him with her foot. “If this mess is your fault it’s just as much my fault because you only got dragged into everything because of a glitch in my little hellish coup. And if you want to go even farther into it, it’s Uncle’s fault for making Legion to begin with. If you really want to be a stickler everything is Lolo’s fault for making everything in the very first place.”

        “I can’t believe you’re referring to the creator of all things as Lolo.” Ben shakes his head at her.

        “We have that kind of relationship.” Shelly informs him smugly, “ He gave me socks that said grandpa’s girl for my birthday once. They were pink and written in enochian. I think I hit Alice or something because she said Grandpa didn’t approve of celebrating birthdays. Her mom’s a Jehovah’s witness. A crazy one at that.”

           “I kind of gathered her mom was crazy. You’re going to be extra nice to her, right?” Ben looks doubtfully at his sister.

           “Of course, she’s my girlfriend now.” Shelly its up again, “Now look, about Abigail. She’s upset. She was really close to Uncle Helel. She’ll calm down and realize she’s being a dick about this to you and it’ll be okay. Just give her time. And yeah you did some dumb stuff, especially after my demon lecture, but you’re thirteen. Your brain’s not even fully developed yet. You’re going to do stupid things. We’re just unlucky that the mistake we’re given the opportunity of making are so damn big, that’s all. We’ve got to just…. Keep going, you know. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up until we’re twenty five and still doing the same dumb shit. We’re still alive. Our friends and family are still alive and we both have a hell of a lot to prepare for before we die because right here, this is going to be the easy part for us “ she pats the bed beside her.

      “You’re uncle’s not still alive.” Ben reminds her as he sits down cross legged next to her, not believing he has to.

       “My uncle… he died because he wanted to, Ben. And he’s still dead because he made extra sure he’d stay dead.” Shelly sighs, leaning back on her hands. “I don’t know why he did, buy he did. A million reasons probably. I know this because Uncle Helel was better than that. So much better than any demon or horde of demons he could have faced. And it hurts that we weren’t worth living for, but it’s not over for him, not really. And it’s not over for us. It’ll hurt a lot, but we’ll be okay without him. Some of us more than okay. Who deserves to get to live without that weight on his shoulders all the time

           “Can you think of how much better your father would feel not having to see your Aunt Bree again ever again. Never to have to worry about her being out there or what she might do at any given moment. A lot of my mother’s younger sibling probably feel the same relief. Life’s not black and white Ben. It’s not all good or all bad. The good and bad don’t erase each other from the past. Being a victim doesn’t make you good or bad. Most bullies think they’re only defending themselves. Being broken doesn’t mean you can’t be fixed but it doesn’t mean you will be or can be yet. It would be so much easier if it was, but it’s not.

       “You’re not the only one at fault or not even mostly at fault. But you’re not completely blameless either. I think everyone screwed the pooch in some way here. But Legion is gone. They’re not hurting anyone anymore and never will be again. A lot of future damage has been averted. You’re safe. Riley is safe. Your father is safe. The world is safe. The veterans on the street forsaken by their country and fellow men are as safe as they were before, and they get to keep their souls. That’s kind of an okay end to it. Not great but okay.” She reaches over to pat his head. “I’m okay. Are you okay?”

       “I don’t know.”

       “Well, anyways. I’m glad I met you, Ben. It’s worth losing my Uncle if that’s what it took to gain my little brother.” Shelly’s not quite prepared for the hug he gives her at this.

       “I’m glad I met you, too.”

       “Ben?” Shelly asks after a minute. “Before I go. I have a favor to ask you.”

       “What?” He sounds slightly suspicious 

       “So, I’ve been a pain in the butt to my dad and he’s kind of been through a lot and I want to do something, but I don’t want to do anything that’ll end up with anything hurt or corrupted, you know? So, can you keep something for me? You know just take care of it for a little bit?”

       “What?” Ben straightens up, breaking away.

       “George?” She gives a sheepish smile. 

        “You…. Okay “ Ben gives in suspiciously fast. “ But on one condition, you have to get my parents permission.”

        “Pfft. Peice of cake. Where are they?” Shelly cracks her knuckles and stands up. Ben points to the room beside them. “Alright. I’ll be back shortly. Don’t do anything to masculine with that picture while I’m gone, now. Okay?” Ben just flips her off, though she doesn’t look back to see it. Will Abigail really forgive him? Maybe. Some day. Maybe 

 

        Abigail stands in the cold, wearing her Uncle’s fur coat, borrowed from the twins. Her mother described the place as Narnia under the white witch, but around the frozen bier there are patches of wet grass and muddy puddles starting to freeze over again, maybe. It was hard to find a place to sit and get comfortable. Even so it’s just not the same talking to him when he doesn’t talk back. Not that she expected it would be, but she still found herself feeling depressed about it anyways.

       “Abigail?” She hears a surprised voice, not her father because he brought her here and is letting her take herself home like a big girl.

       “Abba gave me permission. To be here.” Abigail informs her Aunt Michael, not looking up.

       “You have as much a right to be here as anyone. Do you need some more privacy?” He asks gently. She just shrugs, not knowing what to say.

       “It doesn’t matter he’s not here. It’s just… A memorial or cold storage I guess. His body is just a suit he’s not wearing.” She rests her head on her arms. “I don’t have anyone to talk to anymore. Not like I could him.”

       “He could always find the right things to say when he wanted to.” Michael sits down next to her, remelting the snow around him. “I never could. The closest I came to being able to was when I first realized I still loved him, how much, and how completely. Even then I just sounded like I was being swept away in the moment. But it didn’t matter because he often knew what I meant and when I could trust what he was saying, he always knew what to say.” Michael reaches over to smooth out his nieces hair as he so often did to her father, with the difference being she appreciates it.  “I am so happy that you could have that trust in him. That you talked and he listened and he never let you down. Not until now at least.”

       “This was kind of a dick move. Trying to disguise a suicide as a heroic sacrifice. I’m kind of mad about it, buy not as much as I want to just sit here and wait for him to come back.” Abigail takes a shakes breath. “I knew that there’s no reason he’d have stayed just for me when he wouldn’t for Shelly and the twins, but do you think he thought about me at all?”

        “Abigail…. Abigail, do you even know how important you were to him?” Michael does his best to contain his own sorrow. “How special you are? You are the first human being he ever truly loved. Yes, Shelly is his little darling like her mother was, and that was a big step for him, letting himself care for and love her. But you, perfectly ordinarily human you… He did his best to become to you what he was meant to be to Adam and Eve and all of humanity. Whatever millions of reasons you can think of, or coincidences, all converged into the circumstances surrounding you both that helped leading him to loving you doesn’t change the fact that it was and is you that he loved and adored. And without him having loved you, he could never have been able to love our children the way he did. Seeing you together is what made me even want him to be in their lives in the first place. It gave me more hope in the truth of his redemption as it ever did.” Abigail is silent for a moment taking  it all in. Her shoulders start to shake slightly.

        “I want my uncle back. If he loved us all so much why weren’t we good enough to keep living with? Why would he hurt us all this way? Why couldn’t he just hold on and talk to us and let us help him?”

        “Because of me. I hurt him when he was already hurting so much already. He’s my husband I should have seen how much he was suffering. I should have known he…” Michael stops talking. This is not the time for his pain. This is Abigail’s first loss. She’s the one who needs help getting through this.

        “I told him he wasn’t the most important thing in my life or. It the only important thing or something like that , I can’t… all I can remember is how sad he looked when I said it.” Abigail confesses. “Maybe I said my world does not revolve around him.”

         “It wasn’t your fault. He knows by now the world in general does not revolve around him. He just doesn’t like it.” Michael reassures her. “It wasn’t anything you said or did. He knows you too well than to think he wasn’t important to you or that you didn’t love him.”

        “It wasn’t your fault either.” Abigail slowly sits back up and turns around rubbing her teary eyes.”I mean you both tried to kill each other once, and you got past all that. Whatever you said couldn’t have been worse than what was in the winchester gospels. “ she sniffs. Michael brings up a box of tissues which she gratefully accepts.

        “Ah, yes, the winchester gospels, My shame makes it easy for me to forget you and Michelle have read those already.” Michael winces. “We were all far from our best.”

        “You were all so hurt. And Uncle was wrong and kind of a monster. He was still so charming and likeable and loveable but I could see the difference. That’s not what he’s like now. Maybe… maybe it wasn’t anything happening now. Maybe it was all that stuff he did before and knows was wrong for the wrong reasons and maybe… maybe he’s starting to feel guilty. or maybe he thought he was still too much of a monster and that he’d only hurt us. I don’t know. Nothing really makes sense. Nothing seems like a good enough reason to want to be dead. I try to understand, but I don’t.”

      “It’s hard to understand him sometimes. I used to,a long time ago, I thought, but now… you know,” Michael straightens up a little  and puts his arm around his neice’s shoulder. “He had this one picture that he found and kept in his wallet. It was of a sign that said. ‘There’s a reason for everything.’ The little sigh is accompanied by the usual rolling of eyes, but Michael ignores it and just continues. “Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.”  This surprises Abigail into laughing despite herself. “I think at the very least the idea that it would be better for anyone if he died is stupid and suicide by demon was a bad decision.”

        “I can’t really argue with that.” Abigail smiles and wipes her face. “It seems a bit, disrespectful, though.”

        “But it’s not judgmental. Everyone thinks stupid things they don’t realize are stupid until later, If they do at all. And everyone makes bad decisions thinking they’re at least the best decision they can make at the time. It’s so hard to know. All we can do is try to know as much as we can and make the best decisions we can and hope for the best. And maybe at least take a second look when your loved ones are telling you something is stupid.” The sound of someone actually listening to what he’s saying is one he feels he hasn’t heard in a while. And the particular silence of someone thinking about his words instead of just arguing and disagreeing on instinct is nice too.  Raphael used to be this way. Though he must admit Abigail is slightly more prone to back talk and sarcasm.

         “Auntie Miqa” Abigail looks up at him with those big brown pleading eyes that always make him hope she’s asking something he can say yes to. “You remember that Uncle taught the twins how to skate, right?” She asks meekly. Again looking out for others. She’s her parents child through and through.

         “I remember the. Co sta tly complaining about the cold and not wanting to go and complaining even more about the cold when they got home all bruised tired and exhausted.

Sure they talked about some things they did on the ice but mostly.it was do we have to. And yes they did because it was something they did just with him. He loved an audience anyways.”

         “I just… I think skating could be a legacy they could take from their father that they’d never have to be ashamed of. Devoting themselves to a morally benign, breathtakingly beautiful sport that helps them feel close to their father now that he’s gone… Is that really so bad?” Michael looks down at her hopeful pleading eyes. Abigail seems so very small bundled up in that coat. He gives her a small smile.

       “So what you’re saying is you think I’m being stupid and making a bad decision?”He teases 

        “No. I don’t know. I just think you should think about it a little more and maybe talk to them a little more before saying a hard forever no. You’ll have to do a lot more of the talking and listening now that Uncle’s not here to do it for you.” She teases a little right back.

        “Alright, but you’ll have to help me practice, say one night a week? Thursday maybe. You talk while I practice listening and you listen while I practice talking. Think you can do that? ” He’s held himself back so much not wanting to take things away from Luci, or to interfere or make things difficult. Not with his relationship to Alex, Raphael, and especially Abigail. It feels almost goulish to try and ask for it now from any of them, but especially Abigail. Much to his delight she smiles at him.

        “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry to end the book this way.  
> I'm probably going to take a break from fan fiction and go back to my own original writing, but I'll probably end up making at least one more book to give the children, Michael and Luci their happy endings. But I make no promises on when that'll be.
> 
> Thanks for reading and please for the love of god give me feedback.


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